


Inked

by OfFansAndFlames



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Humor, Character Development, Emotional Rollercoaster, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, M/M, Marine Corps, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Naruto and Sasuke are Switches, Piercings, S&M, Tattoo fetish, Tattoos, plot heavy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 03:06:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 177,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9157399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfFansAndFlames/pseuds/OfFansAndFlames
Summary: Sasuke is a rough around the edges insomniac who owns a nationally renowned tattoo parlor in Manhattan. His skin is a perfect ivory stained with ink, and Naruto's an invigorating tan wrapped around muscles ready for anything. Naruto is a Marine on call who has trained but has never fought, making ends meet as a barista. A previously unmarked Naruto comes in to get a large piece on his back that means everything to him. Enter Sasuke.Posts every other Tuesday.





	1. Eye Candy

Naruto peered down at the folded paper in his hand, a black and white map with directions guiding him to one 865 38th Street. Naruto’s hands carried just the slightest sheen of sweat; he was excited, nervous, hardly able to believe that he was _finally_ doing this.

“The Satin Grip.”

Naruto folded his map, placing it in his back pocket before passing under the awning and opening the shop. Sleek black couches and two chairs were positioned around a knee-height table in the front room. Beyond it was a large aquarium, lit up and full of vibrantly hued fish of all colors of the rainbow. The Satin Grip had a large aquarium and “garage” sort of feel to it while still being chic and upscale. Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” played over the speakers.

This isn’t what Naruto had expected a tattoo parlor to look like. The music fit, though.

The desk, just beyond the aquarium, was occupied by a hulk of a man with bright red hair and biceps the size of small tree trunks. He looked up from the magazine he was reading as Naruto approached the desk. Naruto could see how someone might find him intimidating.

“Hi, I’m Juugo. How can I help you?”

“I want a tattoo,” Naruto said bluntly.

It sounded awkward, and he silently cursed himself. He’d done his research, dammit!

“Okay. Do you have any ideas as to what you’d like?”

Naruto nodded. He knew just what he wanted on his body. This was a large piece, a nine tailed fox which would take up almost his entire back, as well as some of his upper arm. He’d wanted this for years; it meant something to him. As impulsive as Naruto could be, he took pride in his body, and he’d make decisions regarding it seriously.

“Yes. A nine tailed fox. A big one, on my back.”

Naruto turned around, awkwardly gesturing to his back.

“Do you have any designs?”

“No. I was hoping to work with someone here.”

“Our hourly rate is $150. Sound good?”

Naruto had expected this. The parlor’s prices were steep, but Naruto figured that for something that would be on his body for the rest of his life, he’d spare no expense. He took care of his body religiously, through rigorous fitness, so he wouldn’t botch it up by choosing a shitty tattoo shop.

He’d heard rave reviews through friends, and the opinion was enforced by everything he’d found on the internet. Rave reviews by the thousands had piled up regarding the Satin Grip in dozens of pockets of the internet. Recently, the parlor had even worked on major celebrities. But what had really gotten Naruto was the gallery. All of the artists who worked at this place were truly amazing.

And Naruto would only have the best. Despite pulling an absurd number of all nighters, partying way too hard in his early twenties, and his unhealthy obsession towards hamburgers, ramen, and pizza, he took great pride in his body.

It was just out of luck that this place happened to only be a fifteen minute subway ride from his one bedroom apartment in Harlem.

“Yup.”

“Okay,” he smiled. “Suigetsu is free in the back.”

A man with white hair, clearly unnatural for his age, waved him back, having listened to the conversation. He was sipping a water bottle through a straw at his station. As he approached Suigetsu’s station, he couldn’t help but notice a man on the other side of the room, being tattooed by a woman with long, fire engine red hair and glasses.

He looked to be in his late twenties. He had a feminine and decidedly alternative beauty to him, his black, somewhat long hair falling backwards to reveal a striking collarbone and a long neck. Blue highlights were woven through his bangs. If this guy had walked up to him in a club and asked for Naruto’s number, he would’ve had it in a matter of seconds. The man was shirtless, his lean yet muscular body clearly no stranger to the world of body mods. His nipple was neatly pierced by a silver barbell. _Ouch._ Naruto tried not to wince out of sympathy pain.

His lips were thin and pale, with snakebites on his lower.  The arm facing Naruto was completely covered in tattoos, a colorful, intricate sleeve focusing on a snake that wrapped around his arm. The workmanship was superb, the entire sleeve meshing into a harmonious, vibrantly colored design. His eyes were peacefully shut...

And he was lethally attractive.

“Hi, I’m Suigetsu,” the man said, his voice just slightly tinged by a Russian accent.

Suigetsu stood for a moment and outreached his right hand for a quick shake. This was the first time since entering the shop that Naruto had felt distracted. He tried not to space out, because wouldn’t that have been embarrassing.

“I’m Naruto,” he answered.

Why was he beginning to feel nervous? It wasn’t a bad nervousness though. It was...exciting.

“Take a seat,” Suigetsu said, gesturing to a small, ordinary chair by Suigetsu’s station. It was likely there for any guests his customer might have.

“How’d you find us?”

“Well, word of mouth originally. Then I found the shop’s online gallery and was totally hooked!”

“So you’ve done your research. What do you want to get?”

“A fox. On my back.”

“Okay. How big are you thinking?”

“Ah…” Naruto answered, lifting his arm up to touch his back with this palm. “Shoulder to shoulder, and most of my lower back. Some on my upper arm too.”

“Do you want color?”

Naruto nodded. At that moment, he heard a quiet snore escape the man on the opposite side of the room.

Despite Suigetsu’s professional conduct, he smirked, and Juugo, still working up front, laughed. Naruto’s jaw dropped. How could someone sleep through that?

“Wake up,” Suigetsu snapped at him. Another long and modest snore. His tattoo artist nudged him sharply.

“Hey, Sasuke?” she prompted.

The man, who evidently went by Sasuke, roused, yawning and bringing his hand up to rub at the skin between his eyes as he sucked at one of his snakebite piercings. The name “Sasuke” sounded familiar to Naruto, but he couldn’t place it. Had he heard it somewhere before? Sasuke squinted, and then glanced over at Suigetsu.

“Let me guess,” the man groaned, his voice deep from just having woken up from slumber. His voice was still a little slurred as he entered consciousness, and it sounded, in some strange way, even sexual, “I fell asleep again.”

The whole parlor laughed.

“Keep going, Karin,” Sasuke mumbled, his tattooist again turning on her irons.

“You call yourself an insomniac?” Suigetsu asked, a chuckle still in his voice. “From what I’ve seen, you have no trouble falling asleep.”

“I slept two hours last night,” Sasuke growled. “I was busy doing things of actual importance instead of getting sloshed at parties like a certain person I know.”

Suigetsu scrunched his brows, regarding Sasuke patronizingly.

“Yeah, that was some Keith Richards level shit.”

Sasuke glared at the man.

“Hey, you should know I’d never go to work hungover,” Suigetsu responded to Sasuke, looking a little offended at the silent implication that Suigetsu would go to work off his game.

“Apologies, Naruto,” Suigetsu told Naruto. “That’s Sasuke. He’s a smartass.”

An impish smile then invaded Suigetsu’s face, “When’s the last time you even went to a party?”

Clearly, Sasuke was a regular at this parlor if he had this sort of relationship with Suigetsu. Looking at Sasuke, it wasn’t exactly surprising.

“Shut up and let Karin concentrate,” Sasuke answered, sounding annoyed. “And talk to your customer.”

This was actually the first time Naruto’s presence had even indirectly been acknowledged by the man on the other side of the room. For the first time since Naruto had sat down, he caught Sasuke’s eyes. Naruto…wasn’t the type of guy to do something like this. He hadn’t ever even gotten his ears pierced before, for Christ’s sake, but this tattoo…it really meant something to him.

And Sasuke wasn’t generally the type of guy he’d associate with, let alone desire. All of Naruto’s friends were pretty straight-laced, but Sasuke was hellishly attractive. The modifications seemed to only enrich his natural good looks rather than detract from them. Naruto wondered how Sasuke’s voice could be so low and full of sensuality while simultaneously sounding so bored.

“What style are you thinking?”

They held gazes for perhaps a couple seconds longer than was purely casual. Sasuke gave Naruto a quick nod before he glanced up at the ceiling, presumably trying not to fall back to sleep. How Sasuke could seem so perfectly comfortable in that chair, Naruto had no idea. Sasuke had obviously had many tattoos before this one, so maybe it was just something one got used to.

“Naruto?”

Right, that had been Suigetsu. And he had probably caught Naruto staring. What the hell was wrong with him? He was never like this. He tried not to sound flustered.

“Um… Feudal style.”

His ideas drew from Japanese folklore, so it was only logical to him.

“Hmmm…”

Suigetsu stopped to think.

“I could do this for you. But…” Suigetsu leaned in, keeping his voice down so that only Naruto could hear. “Sasuke is known internationally for his feudal tattoos, just as I’m known for my watercolor style. They’re unlike anything I’ve seen. So if I were to be truly honest, I’d suggest that you work with Sasuke. He is a genius.”

“Wait, Sasuke works here?” Naruto found himself asking, only afterwards wishing he could have stopped himself.

Suigetsu chuckled under his breath.

“He owns the place.”

Jeeeesus. Just looking at Sasuke was difficult enough. It did things to him that he couldn’t really explain. But having Sasuke tattoo him?

But clearly, Sasuke was the best for the job. Naruto was frustrated with himself. What was wrong with him?

“Okay. But why are we whispering?”

The sound of the tattoo irons on Sasuke skin concealed their voices.

“Because Sasuke is an arrogant twat.”

“Heard that,” Sasuke pitched in boredly.

“If you think that’s bad, you should hear all the insults you slept through.”

Sasuke only yawned in response.

“Anyhow…” Sasuke began again, his tone slightly sleepy. “Naruto, is it?”

Sasuke saying his name did funny things to his stomach.

“Yeah… Hey, I know you’re not working right now or anything. I don’t want to bother you when you’re...”

“My schedule can be tight, but I’m sure I can fit you in.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“I apologize, but you’ll have to walk me through what you want again.” Sasuke’s tone of voice had shifted so quickly. Even though Sasuke had only just started speaking, it already felt a bit strange hearing him sound so polite. “I was asleep for some of it.”

The sound of the machine marking Sasuke’s skin continued. Sasuke wasn’t the slightest bit fazed.

“Oh, no problem!” Naruto answered, shaking his head. Sasuke was looking over at him now, though it was clearly important for him to stay still.

“So yeah… A large fox on my back, taking up the shoulders area, a lot of the small of my lower back, and my shoulder. I want feudal style with color.”

“Do you have any references?” Sasuke asked.

“No. I was wondering if you could design it.”

“Sure. Have you ever designed one with someone before?”

“Um…” It was stupid to be embarrassed, Naruto told himself. “I haven’t.”

“Here’s how it usually works. We exchange e-mails; you’ll find mine on my card. You write me what you want, with any details you want to incorporate. If you see anything you like elsewhere, even if you only want to use a couple details from it, send that to me too. I’ll send you an overall quote, and if you accept, I’ll send you my design.”

“Got it,” Naruto answered with a grin.

“Then, obviously the next step is to come in.”

Walking into the parlor, this had all seemed much more real to him. Before, it was just an idea, something he’d love to do one of these days. But now it was striking him that yes, this was actually going to happen.

“We’ll work from there. It will take a few sessions, depending on how well you tolerate it and what design we decide on.”

“Okay.”

“Have you had any tattoos before?”

“No, this is my first one,” Naruto said, feeling a little sheepish considering that he was probably the only person in the room with any less than five tattoos.

“Hm…” Sasuke answered thoughtfully. “I’m almost jealous. The first one is a rush.”

“Yeah!” Naruto answered, excited now. He was glad that this was distracting him from how he felt when he looked at Sasuke. “I’ve been wanting this for years! I’ve always known exactly what I wanted, ever since I was a kid. But I just didn’t have the cash! I’ve saved up for the past year and…”

Naruto stopped a moment.

“I’m sorry, I’m rambling! I do that a lot.”

When he was nervous or excited particularly. He’d leave that part out.

“It seems like this means a lot to you.”

“Yeah,” Naruto answered with nervous laughter. “I guess it does.”

“Then you’ve come to the right place.”

“Yeah,” Suigetsu intercepted. “Even if Sasuke can be a pill, you’re in good hands with him.”

“Thanks, guys.”

Naruto took this as his cue to leave. He stood.

“Have any questions for me?” Sasuke asked.

“Ah… I’m bad at thinking of them on the spot. I’ll probably think up a few more and put them in the e-mail.”

“Alright. Nice meeting you, Naruto.”

“Nice meeting you too!”

With a big grin on his face, Naruto left the shop with Sasuke’s business card in hand.

* * *

 “It’s like some horrible joke,” Naruto lamented, toying with his straw wrapper as he sat with Sakura after he’d gotten off of work. This was the coffee shop he’d made his living at, along with the stipend he received from the military for being on call.

Sakura had stopped by the shop briefly, wearing a white sundress with pink flowers and a wide-brimmed straw hat. Her bold designer sunglasses complemented her delicate face nicely.

“He is so attractive that it’s almost physically painful.”

Naruto took a bite of his croissant, adding with a full mouth, “Scratch almost. It _is_ painful. He's like…this sexy, buff, super confident, god of the ink. His tattoos are like… _nnnf_. You know he did most of them himself? I am so lucky that he’s going to be the one working on me. And if that’s not bad enough, he’s insanely successful, intelligent, witty…”

Sakura tilted her head slightly.

“The only problem is that he’s sort of an asshole.”

“Are you done rambling yet?” Sakura asked, but her smile was no less warm.

“For now,” Naruto grumbled, looking down at his lap.

“I haven’t seen you like this since middle school.”

Sakura had been a childhood friend of his, when he’d lived in Texas. He’d had a painfully conspicuous crush on her. Middle school was a time that Naruto would have preferred to have forgotten. His social skills were in dire need of improvement, and he was told that he was far too loud. He misbehaved wantonly, perhaps even driven by the harsh strictness of his foster family.

They’d lost touch when Naruto left Texas, only for them to serendipitously meet in the most unexpected of places: boot camp for the U.S. Marines. And it turned out that Sakura had moved to Manhattan as well, working as a fashion designer. Given that Manhattan is the most populated city in the country, Naruto figured that that second part wasn’t as astounding of a coincidence.

Naruto groaned, holding his face in his hands.

“Urrrgh, Sakura, what do I do?”

“In any other situation, I’d just tell you to put a move on him. But if things get weird between you guys, then getting the rest of your tattoo would be really awkward. And then your tattoo could tie to bad memories.”

Naruto nodded. He knew he was the sort to be affected by that. If Sasuke and he connected, and things went awry, he knew that the ink Sasuke had etched into his skin would remind him of that.

But he was getting way, way ahead of himself. Most of the population, after all, identifies as heterosexual. There was a small chance that Sasuke liked men, and even a smaller chance still that he would like Naruto in particular.

“But he’s _hooooot_ ,” Naruto whined.

That wasn’t everything. If it was, Naruto could have passed Sasuke by easily enough. But this was what Naruto felt comfortable talking about.

“Look…” Naruto slipped his slider phone out of his pocket, putting the keywords “satin grip” and “Uchiha Sasuke” in Google. He was greeted with plenty of pictures. Pictures of Sasuke being interviewed, pictures of him with celebrities… He settled on a picture of Sasuke shirtless. It looked almost like a modeling shoot, Sasuke tattooing the stomach of a young blond woman, intent on his work.

Naruto saw Sakura’s viridian eyes widen behind her brown-tinted shades. She whistled.

“I see what you mean,” Sakura remarked. “Even our studio’s models don’t look that good. I’d hire him in a heartbeat.”

Naruto groaned. Yet again.

“If he’s interested, you could always keep it casual, right? It doesn’t have to be a full-blown relationship.”

“Hm, this is true,” Naruto answered. He could settle for that, at least. He wouldn’t need that many sessions. Afterward, he could do as he liked. He could at least handle that, he thought.

He was glad to be done with work for the day. It wasn’t like he minded going in the next day, though. Every day, he competed with his performance yesterday, tried to get more tips, more satisfied customers, learn a few more names…

“Anyhow, enough about me. How’ve you been?”

Sakura smiled.

“Great, actually. I got the promotion, which means I’ll take a large part in designing next year’s spring collection. Which means more exposure. And more money.”

“But less time out on the town with me,” Naruto whined playfully.

“Get off it,” Sakura answered, rolling her eyes with a smile on her face.

“No, but seriously… I’m really happy for you. You worked so hard for this. I can’t think of anyone who would deserve it more.”

Sakura looked down at the table now, her smile milder yet warmer. She’d been talking about this for years. She’d spent so long in administrative support functions, just trying to learn, trying to see what fashion design really meant and how it was done. No work was beneath her. After years of patience, finally, she was being rewarded.

“I haven’t even told my parents yet.”

“I wanna be there when you tell!” Naruto practically shouted.

Sakura’s parents and Naruto clicked, naturally it seemed. Only rarely did they fly up north to visit, but whenever they met, there was laughter and inevitably some humiliation on Sakura’s part as Naruto extracted the juicy but excruciating details of Sakura’s childhood from his accomplices.

“No.”

“But…”

“No.”

Naruto sighed, crossing his arms and huffing.

“Fine. When are you going to tell them?”

“I don’t know…” Sakura answered. “Maybe tomorrow?”

Naruto grinned.

“We’re still looking for models,” Sakura trailed off.

“Well you don’t have to beg,” Naruto answered with a grin, playfully pushing her shoulder.

Sakura growled at Naruto, causing him to retreat just a bit.

“Look, I know you could use some pocket money…”

“You couldn’t afford these pearly whites!” Naruto stopped her, flashing her a brilliant smile.

“Naruto, knock it off.”

He tilted his head. It wasn’t like Sakura to be so serious. Was she in a bad mood or something? What was wrong with cracking a few jokes?

“I showed your picture to some of the designers. They…”

Naruto almost dropped his coffee.

“Wait, what?!”

He’d been joking. This didn’t mean what he thought it did, did it?

“Look, this would not be a large gig. It would just be a couple photos…”

“Are you… Are you asking me to model for your company?”

“Yes, Naruto,” she answered impatiently.

Sakura was asking him to model for their clothing line? _Model?!_

Now that he thought of it, he always knew that he was attractive. It wasn’t like he was one to advertise it, but he took care of himself. Maybe it was all of that work he’d put in recently. Even he had to admit his body looked damn sexy with all of those muscles.

“It wouldn’t be a lot of money…”

But modeling? This was new. Yet he was in New York City. It might only just be the beginning. He could make model friends. Model friends who knew other modeling agencies. He’d always wanted to go to Milan. Granted...

“I’d just need to take a few photos and…”

Yes, granted that was looking pretty far into the future. But a guy can dream, right? What if that happened? Walking down the runway, blowing a kiss and making everyone practically foam at the bit. Plus, Italian food? All of the food! He could go everywhere and…

“Nothing is decided at this point. We…”

He wondered how the pizza in Manhattan would hold up to the pizza in Italy. What if he went to London? And it was unlikely, but what if, through all his modeling work, somehow Sasuke saw him? Then he’d totally be hot enough for someone like Sasuke! If Sasuke even had so much of a _particle_ of gay in him, he’d be at his front door begging.

Even if that didn’t happen, he could still slip it in while Sasuke worked on him. “Oh yeah, just doing a little modeling work on the side.” Then that killer smile of his...

A hand snapped in front of his face.

“Naruto!”

It was Sakura, looking at him so sternly.

“Pay attention.”

Naruto rustled, broken out of his thoughts. He grinned and scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

“Sorry, I was spacing out.”

“I noticed.”

Sakura sighed again, taking a slow sip of coffee before shaking her head.

“If you get a big head about this, god help me…”

A nervous laugh from Naruto.

“Okay, okay. So… So what do I do now?”

“Since you don’t have an agent, I’ll just take some pictures of you. We’ll need a full body shot as well.”

“Are the guns coming out?” Naruto asked, flexing his bicep.

“We’d probably put you in a tank top and some shorts.”

“Aw yeeeah, guns out!” Naruto shouted, now turning a few heads. Sakura cringed in embarrassment. “But I’m in the middle of getting a tattoo. Would that be a problem?”

“No, you’re good. Besides, it’s just going to be some pocket change, like I said. 200 bucks max for everything, tops.”

“That’s a lot of cash!”

Naruto supposed he needed to start thinking more realistically now. But even if it was just something that lasted a week at most, it would be cool to be able to say for the rest of his life that he’d made money just by letting people look at his hot bod.

“Good. Then you can stop mooching off of me for beer money.”

“I paid you back,” Naruto pouted.

“Whatever. See, aren’t you glad? Now maybe you can nut up and talk to that guy you like so much.”

“I don’t like him!” Naruto fumbled, blushing slightly. “I don’t even know him. He’s just attractive.”

It was true. He knew nothing about Sasuke. It was infatuation. Even Naruto had to admit that much to himself. And really, who knew. Even if Sasuke was smart, talented, and totally sexy, if his personality was off, it wouldn’t matter.

“Fine, then fuck him.”

“I uh… Too soon.”

“Okay. Then how about focusing on not popping a boner in the chair.”

Now it was Sakura’s turn to laugh.

“Oh my god, I hate you.”

“Some eye candy you’ve got there.”

He couldn’t deny that she was right about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New concept, and my second multi-chaptered fic. My post Soup's On hiatus is over!
> 
> I know it sounds a little like a pwp. It's not. It'll definitely be plot heavy
> 
> The Satin Grip is loosely based off of my favorite place to get work done: Velvet Grip in West Hollywood. If you're ever in southern California, they do great work.
> 
> Anyhow, please let me know what you think!


	2. Under The Irons

It was the day. _The_ day.

After the day they met, Naruto hadn’t thought about Sasuke so much. He wrote him, just as they’d spoken about, with his ideas. Sasuke’s quote wasn’t cheap, but if Sasuke was truly as good as he seemed to be… It was worth it.

The nine-tailed fox meant something special to him. It was a story he’d lived with for years. The nine-tailed fox, his mother had told him, was the strongest and bravest animal. As a kit, he was born with but one tail. He was weak and small, vulnerable to all of the other animals.

But after every hardship the fox endured, every success, a new tail would grow. The fox grew stronger and stronger with every tail, until toward the end of his life, he grew his ninth tail. His mom told him that some day, he would become this fox. She had known at the time, more than he did, that he would need to be strong. Once he grew his ninth tail, she said, he would be the strongest of anyone.

His plan wasn’t to finish everything at once. He’d give the fox five tails, which, at this point in his life, he felt he’d earned. He had not had an easy life, by any stretch.

He liked the idea of being able to go back again. He had a feeling, from everything he’d heard, that he’d get addicted. Naturally, it wasn’t feasible for him to do this nine times. This was the middle ground. He’d told Sasuke, simply, that he was starting with five but would ultimately have nine tails. He asked Sasuke to design the entire piece. In the off chance something happened over the years, he’d be able to keep the style consistent.

With baited breath, Naruto stalked his e-mail account awaiting Sasuke’s response. He’d known he was going to have this done for so long. He’d been patient for so many years. Yet suddenly, it was as if he couldn’t wait another second. He wanted to see it.

He didn’t have to wait long. Only two days after he’d sent Sasuke his details, he wrote Naruto back.

Sender: Uchiha Sasuke  
E-mail title: Full back design

Naruto’s hands sweat as he clicked the subject and waited for the e-mail to load. It took its sweet time, naturally.

“Is this like what you had in mind? Let me know if there’s anything you want to modify.

Thanks,  
Sasuke”

He was waiting on the attachment now. And... _finally_.

He simply stared the moment the image flashed on the screen. It was...perfect.

The design was beautiful. The proud but fierce face of the fox was perfection. The texture of the fox’s tail looked so real that you could reach out and touch it. He could understand how Sasuke had gotten his reputation for feudal work, in particular, also. The style was top notch, with brilliant colors that perfectly complemented each other. God, Sasuke was so talented.

It was worth every penny.

Naruto was back at the shop not even three days afterward. Only this time, Sasuke wasn’t in the chair, and he was wearing a shirt. He had been sipping on a coffee near his station when Naruto entered. Sasuke noticed him, casting him a quick upward nod before walking over.

He’d been very captivated, of course, by the reason he was here. He hadn’t been able to think about anything other than the tattoo design ever since Sasuke had sent it to him. He’d forgotten that, hey, this was the same guy he’d agonized over in front of Sakura. It was merciful that he was wearing a shirt, a loosely fitting tank top with a black leather jacket.

And now he was being reminded.

“Hey, welcome back,” Sasuke said as he greeted Naruto with a handshake.

He hadn’t noticed that Sasuke’s eyebrow was pierced before. It was his right eyebrow, which had been facing away from him the last time he was here. Wait… Pay attention.

“Hi! How have you been?”

“Busy. We’ve had a lot of people come in this week. How about you?”

“Oh! I’m doing pretty well.”

Naruto bit his lip, already feeling as though he’d dropped the ball in this conversation.

“Good. Here…” Sasuke paused, accessing a mini-fridge toward the back of the room and pulling out a water bottle. “You might get thirsty.”

“Thanks,” Naruto answered.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yeah, I had something,” he lied. He wasn’t much for breakfast.

He was nervous, but it had little to do with Sasuke. Naruto knew he could withstand the pain. Even if he had yet to get a single body mod, he’d just gone through training for the US Marines. If he could stay up three nights straight to guard a garrison, run a mile in under six minutes, and climb a nine foot wall, he could get a damned tattoo.

But it was something else… Like that feeling he got after boarding the roller coaster. The guard rails go up, the worker tells you keep all your limbs inside, the car leaves the tracks, and the wide open sky looms out before you, just before you plummet into loops and drops. That was how he felt. His palms were sweaty.

“I made a print of my design. I’ll apply it to your back, so you can get an idea of what it would look like. And if you want to change or tweak anything, don’t be shy.”

Naruto nodded with a hard swallow.

“Come back,” Sasuke told him, walking toward his station. “And then get in the chair.”

Once Naruto had gotten to Sasuke’s station, he took his shirt off, feeling the just barely cool air touch his upper body. He sat in the chair, and then pressed his body against it.

“Sorry, my hands are cold. I tried to warm them up, but...”

Sasuke’s hand finally touched his back, and his flesh was just slightly cool. He felt himself get goosebumps, not so much from the temperature of Sasuke’s hands as it was from finally getting touched.

Sasuke had not seemed like the patient or gentle sort. But he figured that given the situation, many people would be nervous or uneasy. Sasuke was surely used to dealing with this. It was part of being good at his job.

Sasuke swabbed his back with alcohol, then applied a paper. He felt Sasuke flatten it against his back fully before pulling it back. After waiting just a few seconds, Sasuke invited Naruto to get out of his seat and look in the mirror.

Naruto couldn’t hide the expression on his face when he saw his back in the mirror. It suited him, suited his curves and accentuation. What was more, it felt so much more real to him, that this was actually going to happen. It seemed to hit him in waves. He wasn’t aware that a bright smile had eaten up his face. He looked at Sasuke, shot him a thumbs up side, and nodded.

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

This was it. Naruto returned to the seat, and Sasuke cleaned off his back once again.

“Nervous?”

“Hell no!”

He heard Sasuke smirk. That dick!

“I’m not!”

“I never said you were.”

“You smirked though.”

“That was my nose itching. I didn’t mean to give you that impression.”

Dammit. He knew a smirk when he heard one. Naruto grumbled to himself.

“Allergic to latex?” Sasuke asked, referencing Naruto’s file.

“I’ll remember that.”

Naruto felt like an immature little twit for replaying that in his mind out of context.

“Alright. I’ll tell you when I’m going to start. It can hurt a little, but you get used to it. Let me know if you’re uncomfortable. You’re getting a large piece, so you’ll be in the chair a while. We can always take a break.”

Naruto nodded.

“Take a deep breath and breathe out when I start. In… Now.”

_Bzzzt. Bzzzzzt._

He felt the pressure of Sasuke’s gloved hand on his back, and then a heavy boring sensation. The best he could describe this as was the feeling one gets if someone scratches a sunburn. He was relieved.

“Oh, this doesn’t hurt at all.”

It did hurt a little, actually, but it certainly was nothing he couldn’t handle. Besides, he didn’t want to admit that to the guy he saw sleeping while getting tattooed.

“Good.”

_Bzzzzzzzzt._

He had this! No problem.

Sasuke wasn’t much of a talker. As the minutes passed, they only shared clipped phrases. He couldn’t help but wince as the tattoo needle worked its way onto the sensitive tissue of his lower back.

He waited until Sasuke’s hand left his back for him to rub at his eye with one of his hands. He felt a little dizzy, lightheaded. It was getting more painful, yes… It didn’t seem so bad at first, but as time passed, and as Sasuke moved on to more sensitive skin, everything seemed to be getting worse.

His energy was wearing out. And this particular area, on the most sensitive part of Naruto’s lower back, just above his tailbone… Naurto’s jaws tensed, if only slightly.

“How are you holding up?”

Dammit. Was he that obvious?

“Oh, great. This is the easiest thing ever. I can see why you fell asleep!”

“Not one of my prouder moments,” he answered calmly. “I generally try not to do that.”

“So this is something that happens often?”

“Sleep tends to find me at inopportune times.”

“Oh, well that’s reassuring,” Naruto teased.

This was distracting him, at least.

“How about this: You get your money back if I fall asleep.”

Naruto chuckled, causing his back to bump up just slightly.

“No moving,” Sasuke said firmly, pressing his back down.

“Fiiiine, fine.”

A few seconds passed. Naruto felt his nausea come back.

“In all seriousness, getting tattoos is relaxing to me. The sound of the irons is kind of like white noise.”

Naruto wasn’t sure who in their right mind would find this “relaxing.” It felt like...the room was spinning. He grabbed the side of the chair. Dammit, what was the matter with him?

“Hey,” Sasuke said, finally stopping his work. “Want to take a break?”

“No. I’m fine!” Naruto insisted.

He felt his face begin to flush a shade of pink, which he tried even harder to stop. Originally, he’d felt humiliated, but now it just felt like all of his blood was rushing to his head. He felt sick. Dizzy.

He didn’t want to admit that he was feeling like shit, especially in front of Sasuke, who fucking _fell asleep_.

“No, you’re taking a break.”

He was a _Marine_ , dammit. He could handle this. And who did Sasuke think he was, pushing him around?

“No, I’m fine.”

Sasuke sighed in exasperation.

“Would it kill you to drink some water?”

Naruto felt like he was tanking fast. His mouth was dry, now that Sasuke mentioned it. But his pride...

The buzzing of the tattoo needles around the shop began to echo between his ears. He couldn’t even make out the sounds anymore now. This…  This wasn’t right. So much for pride.

“Hey…” Naruto spoke, sounding breathy. He tried to lift himself up. “Maybe I _could_ use…”

Sounds echoed in his head, and the world around him went to neon as the walls spun. At that, all of his surroundings were lost to darkness.

* * *

The next time Naruto opened his eyes, Sasuke’s face was directly in front of his. Their eyes met, and Naruto’s heart skipped a beat. He was still in his chair, but Sasuke was now wiping at his forehead with a cold cloth.

“Hey… Hey, what happened?” Naruto asked.

“You passed out,” Sasuke answered simply.

“I… Wait, I _what?!_ ”

Naruto’s face must have gone beet red. No, he couldn’t have… And in front of Sasuke?! So much for hitting on him. He felt like running out the door and hiding in a hole. How could he have fainted? People were puking and passing out to the left and right of him at bootcamp, and he was still standing. He kept going. So why now?

“It can happen. You’ll be fine; don’t worry.”

Oh, yes, his body would be fine. He couldn’t say the same for his ego.

“God, I mean… This stuff never happens to me. I’ve fainted maybe once in my life. It wasn’t painful or anything either. It makes no sense…”

“Naruto, what did you have for breakfast?”

Naruto paused, nervous laughter giving him away.

“You didn’t have breakfast, did you?”

“Heh. I… Heh.”

“We don’t put all those signs up for our own health, you know.”

There _had_ been plenty of signs, both on the walls and on the papers that Naruto had signed, requesting that patrons eat at least four hours before getting tattooed. He’d just assumed that since his body tended to be like a tank and could withstand nearly anything, he’d be the exception. Naruto crossed his arms.

“How did you get here?”

“Subway, then walking.”

There was a pause.

“I need to get some coffee at Grinds. It’s around the corner. You can join me and get a sandwich or something. You should sit down and have something to eat before you leave.”

Naruto swallowed deeply. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been attracted to Sasuke from the start, but these were more…idle observations. He didn’t expect to be invited to eat a meal with this guy. Too bad the premise was so utterly humiliating.

At least he doubted that Sasuke was making an extra trip just for him. As he’d overheard, Sasuke was an insomniac. He probably needed that coffee.

“Yeah, I think I can get up.”

Naruto began to sit up himself, but Sasuke quickly stopped him, rolling up the chair bit by bit so that Naruto wouldn’t get dizzy again. Dammit, this was all humiliating. Naruto didn’t need to be treated so gingerly. Naruto’s tattoo had been bandaged, it seemed. He gave a deep sigh when he finally stood on his feet.

He was still dizzy, but he felt a little better after drinking some water.

“Suigetsu, you’re in charge while I’m out,” Sasuke stated as he walked towards the door.

“Come on,” Sasuke ordered Naruto. “Stay close.”

Naruto followed Sasuke, just a few steps behind. He didn’t like to be fussed over like this, but...

It was a cool day in early November, without so much as a breeze. In the sunlight, Sasuke’s black hair had an unnatural blue glow to it. They walked down the sidewalk, loud cars rushing past them as they approached a small coffee shop. Before he knew it, they were in front of the counter.

“Venti, black. Thanks.”

“And what would you like, sir?” the cashier asked. Naruto stared vapidly for a moment. He’d been distracted by Sasuke, and he was still a little dizzy.

“I’ll have a latte and a ham and cheese croissant, thanks,” Naruto requested, remembering now to grin.

The cashier swiped his credit card, and the two of them looked for seating. Picking a table was easy; there was only one left. They took their seats, each facing the other, and waited for the staff to bring them their drinks and Naruto’s croissant.

Talking usually came to Naruto like breathing. He tried not to look at Sasuke, who looked very different with his jacket. The sight of Sasuke’s ink and muscled pecs showing through his low-collared tank top reminded Naruto of what Sasuke looked like with his shirt off the day they’d met. Colored ink lay on the well-defined muscles of his biceps, forearms, and chest. What would Sasuke look like with _all_ of his clothes off? He shouldn’t be thinking about such things; the two of them were just grabbing a snack together.

Naruto had known he was bisexual since the age of thirteen, but very never did he have such strong urges with someone he’d just met. What was wrong with him? He was embarrassed of himself.

“Seriously… Eat next time.”

“I thought…” Naruto bristled.

“That you could handle it?” Sasuke answered, his snakebites sitting at a slight angle as Sasuke smirked at him. “Evidently not.”

Something about that smirk caused a shiver to descend down Naruto’s freshly tattooed spine. Yet this reaction was not something he wanted to own up to.

“So, what do you do when you’re not fainting in tattoo parlors?”

Sasuke was, Naruto was quickly figuring out, a dick. It was like some sort of line had been crossed as soon as they left the parlor. Yet if Sasuke had voluntarily taken Naruto out for a meal, under whatever circumstances, he couldn’t think too little of him. It just seemed to be Sasuke’s way, Naruto quickly perceived. He had no problem keeping up.

“What do…I do?”

Perhaps not.

“Your profession,” Sasuke spoke tiredly.

The question was seemingly random in their conversation, but oddly enough, Naruto was used to hearing it. Most people thought he was some sort of athlete.

“I’m a Marine. On call.”

Sasuke nodded, but he didn’t seem impressed like so many others did when he explained his vocation. He did appear slightly surprised, however.

“I’m assuming they make you eat breakfast in the Marines.”

“Zero six hundred,” Naruto answered automatically. “One minute too late, and you’re going hungry.”

Sasuke snickered as they were served. Sasuke added neither cream nor sugar to his coffee, taking it straight. As Sasuke sipped out of his insulated cup, Naruto noticed a small tattoo of a circular fan on the web of Sasuke’s hand. Sasuke’s hands were particularly large, he noted. Naruto tentatively began to nibble at his croissant, only soon after realizing how hungry he’d been all along.

“You’re a coffeeholic, huh?” Naruto asked as he sipped his latte. He hoped that the caffeine would help liven him up, along with the nourishment.

“Secondarily. I’m primarily an insomniac.”

“So you don’t sleep, or what?” Naruto asked, taking another bite of his sandwich. This was quite an interesting outing. He never thought he’d have lunch with someone who owned one of the city’s most successful tattoo parlors.

“Not much. Coffee gets me through the day.”

Naruto nodded slowly.

“Like…no offense, but as a tattoo artist, doesn’t all of that caffeine ever make ya shaky?”

Sasuke shook his head.

“No. I refuse to work unless my hand’s perfectly steady.”

Naruto chased down a bite of croissant with his latte, perfectly sweetened.

“You guys take your work really seriously, don’t you?”

“Absolutely,” Sasuke answered without hesitation. “A tattooist has no margin for error.”

He respected that about Sasuke. About his shop in general, really. It was clear that Sasuke’s staff could have fun at work, but they were, above all, professionals. They took their work seriously, and they had a loyal and rapidly growing customer base because of it. Naruto had only gone through the training to become a Marine, but he took the very same pride in everything he learned. He was serving his country, and he would give his all.

“So…” Naruto peered down at his coffee, wondering if he was becoming too intrusive. But the man in front of him was remarkably successful for his age, and Naruto had honestly never known someone with such an interest. “When did you get interested in becoming a tattoo artist, anyway?”

Sasuke glanced at Naruto for a moment, biting on his tongue stud pensively as he formulated his response.

“I don’t feel like talking about work right now.”

Sasuke had just been talking about tattoos earlier. Naruto assumed that Sasuke’s start as a tattoo artist was somewhat of a touchy subject for him.

“Right,” Naruto answered sheepishly, taking a heartier bite of his sandwich. He was beginning to feel much better. “Sorry about that.”

Sasuke shrugged it off, not appearing offended.

Naruto finished his croissant during the lull in conversation, and Sasuke was mostly finished with his coffee.

“How are you liking it so far?” Sasuke asked.

“What, you mean getting tattooed?”

Sasuke nodded.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I seriously…have no idea why I passed out,” Naruto started, laughing nervously. “It wasn’t even hurting that bad.”

Sasuke paused for a moment. Naruto was expecting Sasuke to give him some snide and skeptical response, but he was being truthful. The pain really had not been that bad.

“Right before you passed out, you tried to get up for some water. You’d been on your stomach for a long time. It was probably a mix of low blood sugar, adrenaline, and abruptly changing your position that put you out.”

Naruto at least felt better that Sasuke was taking him seriously and didn’t just think he was some wimp. Naruto would _never_ pass out from pain that mild. He had, admittedly, been a little nervous, but he’d never fainted out of nervousness in the past.

“You certainly wouldn’t be the first one to faint in my shop,” Sasuke stated, staring down at his hand as he stirred his coffee. The sleeve of his jacket was not completely snug, and Naruto could see the start of Sasuke’s tattoo sleeve at his wrist as his jacket moved. Sasuke seemed to have remembered something amusing. “There are even a couple celebrity names on that list.”

Naruto blinked owlishly before laughing.

“Who?”

But Sasuke merely shook his head as he took a sip of coffee, the dark liquid slowly entering his mouth.

“Confidential information,” Sasuke stated, lowering his face to Naruto’s level and tapping his temple.

“Ah, whatever.”

Naruto was laughing as he swatted at Sasuke, still deeply curious. It sounded like some pretty interesting dirt, but of course Sasuke couldn’t spread gossip about his customers. Was Sasuke actually trying to help Naruto save face? Maybe he wasn’t a total dick. He’d taken him out for coffee, after all. Sasuke glanced at the clock.

“Time for me to get back.”

Naruto did his best not to appear disheartened. He truly did enjoy talking to Sasuke. He was an interesting guy, and Naruto felt like a dick for focusing on this too much, but for the love of God, he was _hot_. Sasuke paused for a few seconds before giving Naruto some advice.

“I think you’ll be fine next time if you remember to eat,” Sasuke told him. “Even I snack during some of my longer sessions.”

Naruto nodded, feeling a little like a child being instructed. Sasuke got up, both of the men tidying up their eating space. Naruto’s plate and cup were placed meticulously. Such behavior would have been far from his personality in the past, but his training for the Marines had changed his habits in some strange ways.

“Don’t stuff yourself. Just eat something substantial - easy on the stomach with lean protein.”

“Alright, alright…” Naruto grumbled, yet Sasuke’s advice was still helpful, as much as Naruto hated to admit it.

They slowly walked back to the parlor, and Naruto felt so much stronger now. Sasuke had been right. He really had just needed to raise his blood sugar. Sasuke walked toward the shop’s door, and Naruto waved goodbye.

“See ya!”

He beamed, walking toward his subway stop.

“Later.”

With Sasuke’s help, he’d made it through the session. He only prayed, for his ego’s sake, that his next session would be less eventful.


	3. The Call

Naruto readied himself to take his shower. It had been a long day, and to say he had mixed feelings towards it was an understatement. Sasuke had bandaged his back before he’d gotten a good enough look, ordering him not to take off the bandages for four hours. This was nothing short of excruciating to Naruto; he’d never been known for his patience.

Finally, the time had passed. He removed his shirt, and then the gauze bandage that covered his entire back. He gazed at his flesh, stark and steady black outlines forming the head and body of the fox. For a moment, it felt strange to think that this was actually _his_ back. He’d thought of getting this tattoo for such a long time that it felt uncanny when it was actually happening. It was turning out well, but he wanted more.

He was careful when he showered, avoiding direct contact with the shower’s spray on his back. As he scrubbed the rest of his body, his mind began to wander. The excitement of beginning his tattoo, the sheer and utter humiliation of fainting in the chair, and then the pleasure of eating with Sasuke after it was all over. That last part... _almost_ made up for his fainting, but not completely. He would take that secret to his grave.

Just as he was almost finishing, he heard his phone ring. Of course, it had to be on the other side of the apartment. For whatever reason his cell phone hadn’t been letting him make phone calls for the past day. Piece of shit cell phone service…

Naruto turned off the water ran for the phone, dripping everywhere and stubbing his toe on his coffee table on the way.

“Ass...shit...FUCK!”

He yelled, as he forced himself toward the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

It was Sakura.

“Hey! Que pasa, Mufasa?”

Silence over the line.

“Sakura? Hellooo?”

He heard a tired sigh over the line.

“...Sakura?” he asked, this time much more delicately. “What’s up?”

“I got the call.”

Naruto felt his stomach plummet, the bottom of his gut suddenly feeling like an ice chest. He rested his body against the wall, sliding down it and sitting on the floor.

“I have two weeks before I go to Afghanistan.”

As easy as it was for Naruto to find words, speechlessness was not a common state for him. His mind went entirely blank. What should he say?

“When did you find out?”

“An hour ago,” Sakura said quietly.

Naruto couldn’t even imagine how Sakura must be feeling. They were reservists, who had enlisted in a time of peace. Neither had expected a war to break out just months after they finished training. Just like that, she’d be leaving everything familiar. She’d be leaving her friends, her family… And there was a possibility that she may never come back.

He was overwhelmed by the relentless urge to _do_ something, anything that would shake Sakura out of that sad smile he knew she was wearing, if even for just a night.

“How can I help? If you want to talk, let’s talk. We can hole ourselves up in my place. Or we can see a show, my treat. We can grab some Indian food at that new restaurant by the ticket booth.”

When Naruto talked, it felt like he was finally doing something, finally helping, so he talked faster.

“We can hit up all the clubs in the Meatpacking District. Remember that time I danced on the stage and fell off because I was too drunk?”

Sakura did now chuckle.

“Naruto, you’d only had one beer. You’re just naturally clumsy.”

“But I outlasted ‘em all in bootcamp, didn’t I?” Naruto grinned. “And was one of the strongest to boot.”

Naruto could practically hear Sakura rolling her eyes over the phone.

“But the guys… Just about every guy in my battalion was _terrified_ of you,” Naruto told Sakura, leaning his head on his shoulder. “After you broke Hagane’s nose, they called you the femme fatale of the battalion.”

That said a lot, considering none of the female soldiers was anyone you’d _ever_ want to mess with.

“That’s what he got for groping my ass,” Sakura mumbled under her breath.

Naruto paused, cupping the phone against his cheek. They were silent for just a second before both of them broke into laughter.

“Man…If they think they’re gettin’ someone soft, they have another thing coming…” Naruto trailed off. “I don’t even have to tell you to be strong. There’s no way in hell you wouldn’t be.”

A pause over the line.

“You’re a good man, Naruto.”

“Just speaking the truth.”

Sakura cleared her throat.

“It’s what we signed up for,” she said quietly. “We all knew this day might come.”

Naruto nodded, subconsciously knitting his brows.

“Looks like I won’t be working on the spring collection this year.”

Naruto felt his eyes water, and he bit his bottom lip. She was right.

* * *

 

He saw a lot of Sakura in those two weeks. He canceled his next appointment with Sasuke. Sakura was his top priority. He watched her grow more confident, more resolved as the days would pass. He tried not to worry about her. He did.

The last day he saw her, he’d had a repugnant thought. It had flashed in his mind for just a moment, and so he banished it to isolation.

_At least it wasn’t me._

No. He would’ve gone to war ten times over if it meant shouldering the burden for her. It wasn’t that he thought that Sakura was weak. It was just that he couldn’t stand seeing such a close friend in danger.

The next week seemed to trickle by slowly. Work was busy, as always. Things seemed so lonely without Sakura, despite the other friends he had in the area. He hoped that wherever she was, she was okay.

Naruto had no intention of going off to war. When Sakura told him that she had to leave, she had seemed so brave. Over the days, her lips didn’t quiver as she told Naruto that she didn’t want to hear his whining, that everything would be fine.

But Naruto knew Sakura well enough to know that a part of her was terrified and doing everything it could not to beg Naruto to find some way to get her out of this. As nervous as he was about going to war, if he could have taken Sakura’s place, he would have done so in an instant.

But Naruto knew how to smile during such times, if his tip jar was any indication. This was a skill he prided himself on, and it had been useful to him throughout his life. He tried to think about things like the concerts he could go to, nights out with friends, or what subjects he’d take when he started college. However, this time around, there was a very noisy, demanding distraction clamoring for recognition in every corner of his mind: Sasuke.

He had an appointment scheduled for Wednesday, and this time he wouldn’t cancel. He walked in Wednesday afternoon to find Sasuke sitting on a couch inside of the studio, leaning back and picking at a bag of trail mix. Rock music blasted as he opened the front door. This time, Karin was at the front. Sasuke placed his snack to the side when he saw Naruto.

“Welcome back,” Sasuke said with a crooked smile. “What did you have for lunch?”

Sasuke seemed to enjoy picking on him. At least he’d done it in an underhanded way, rather than humiliating him in front of his fellow customers. Suigetsu smirked, but anyone else wouldn’t have had a clue what Sasuke was referring to.

“Lunch?” Naruto answered perkily. “Today is a religious holiday. I fasted.”

There was no way he was letting on. He hated being a downer, so he smiled twice as widely.

“And what religion is this, exactly?” Sasuke asked dully, feigning belief.

“I’ll have you know I ate a chicken sandwich, a chocolate milkshake, fries, and scrambled eggs. And that was just lunch!”

“I thought I told you not to stuff yourself.”

Naruto found himself wondering for a moment if people actually vomited. At the _very_ least, he hadn’t done that.

“Hah! This is a Marine’s diet!” Naruto grinned, sticking out his tongue at Sasuke. “As if you’d know.”

Sasuke sighed. Really, it was no wonder Naruto was so bulky and muscular. Sasuke had seen it clearly enough when Naruto’s shirt was off. For him not to be a complete fatass after such a diet, he must have had to put in some serious sweat exercising. Well, he was a Marine, after all. Naruto walked forward to the chair, but Sasuke guided him elsewhere, to the private rooms.

“My chair needs some maintenance. We’re having someone fix it after closing.”

Sasuke cocked his head towards a short hallway with two doors on each side. Naruto tried not to look at his neck as he did this, the collar of his button up showing just a little bit of his bare chest.

“Do you mind?”

Naruto swallowed hard. He’d never been in a private situation with Sasuke before, but it’s not like it really mattered.

“Of course not.”

He followed Sasuke down the hallway, and Sasuke held the door open for him, holding Naruto’s file in the other hand. There was another chair in this room, and all of Sasuke’s equipment had been to the back. Naruto took his shirt off without being asked, sitting down on Sasuke’s chair with his bare back facing Sasuke. He heard Sasuke flip through the folder and then wash his hands behind him.

“Hey, Sasuke, if you have all those chairs up front, why do you have these?”

“For privacy,” Sasuke explained simply.

“Privacy? But…  Oh, _those_ kinds of tattoos.”

“It’s not always that,” Sasuke clarified. “Sometimes people really just want privacy.”

Naruto nodded. He supposed he understood. He, personally, didn’t care if every soul and their brother saw him in a tattoo chair, but he’d always been known for his extroversion. Not everyone was so open.

He was distracted by the sound of Sasuke strapping on his gloves. Sasuke was preparing all of his equipment now. He placed his palm near the recently inked flesh.

“You’re healing well,” Sasuke mused. “The ink’s taking wonderfully.”

“Doctors have always told me I’m a fast healer,” Naruto answered, sounding a little proud of the fact.

“It seems like your body can handle a lot,” Sasuke stated. Christ, that sentence, that voice…  No, he couldn’t get carried away. “Or at least your skin can. I think we should stick to around three hours, and if everything goes well today, then you can have longer sessions if you want them.”

Naruto huffed. The whole fainting thing again?

“It was just because I didn’t eat!”

He was no pansy, dammit.

“Be that as it may…” Sasuke replied. He sounded like a stern parent, so serious for someone of his profession, Naruto mused. “Let’s not push our luck.”

Naruto sulked, crossing his arms and resting his head on his wrists. He supposed he couldn’t blame Sasuke for being reluctant to push his limits after that scene he caused last week. Sasuke was still readying things, apparently. He tested his irons out again, giving it a couple quick buzzes. The familiar sound filled Naruto with both nervousness and excitement as his hands began to sweat. His heart was beating faster, and his mouth felt dry.

“Alright, ready?” Sasuke asked, tapping the area of skin where he was about to tattoo.

“Do it,” Naruto answered with a grin.

That familiar feeling again…  The boring scratching of the needle on his skin. Despite the pain, he had to admit that he had actually _missed_ it. Naruto’s body had been unwittingly tense when Sasuke began. He kept his muscles that way, knowing that the minute he relaxed, his entire body would move. He waited until Sasuke lifted up his hand to relax, his large, tanned muscles stretching out. This wasn’t bad at all.

“How are you doing?”

“Perfect,” Naruto responded, sounding rather chipper. “’S fun.”

“Promise to tell me if you need any food or water.”

“ _Fiiiine_.”

They were silent for a few moments, and Naruto yawned.

“You gonna fall asleep on me this time around?” Sasuke teased, his irons temporarily silent.

“Nah, I’m not you.”

“Hn,” Sasuke responded simply, starting up again.

There was a comfortable lull between the two as Naruto exhaled, glancing around the room as best he could without moving his head.

“Anyway, you own this shop?”

“I do.”

“So like…  What was the procedure? How’d you land such a nice place?” Naruto asked. If there were a more tactful way to ask such a question, it would have been lost on him. He’d actually been wondering how someone so close to his age could be so successful. Sasuke’s establishment had even been on television. “When’d you start out?”

“I started up at the age of fifteen as an apprentice, down in Brooklyn,” Sasuke explained, not pausing his work. “I did that until my eighteenth, when I starting working at the shop as an artist. Did that for about four more years…”

“Then you opened The Satin Grip?”

“Right.”

Naruto paused, thinking figures over.

“Wait a second, you opened your own shop when you were twenty-two?”

“Twenty-one, technically.”

Naruto shook his head. “That’s crazy! You could barely even drink! That is one ballsy move for someone so young,” Naruto remarked, rambling. He did find it rather impressive, especially given that the shop had done so well.

Sasuke placed his hand on Naruto’s back again, gently pushing him into the chair with a “tsk.”

“Stay still.”

He couldn’t help that he was such an animated guy. He hadn’t even thought he’d been moving. He’d have to pay more attention to that.

“I was working in fast food when I was twenty-one,” Naruto added with a pout.

“I’m…sorry?” Sasuke apologized tentatively.

“Nah, don’t be. I may only be twenty-five, but those dark days are behind me.”

There was another silence. Naruto found that the silences tended to make him rather antsy. He’d passed the point of nervousness. He was jittery now.

“So, how many tattoos do you even have?”

Sasuke paused to think it over. It was a rather graceless question, really, but Sasuke didn’t care. Naruto didn’t seem to be exactly an expert when it came to social graces.

“Fourteen.”

It was actually a bit of a tricky question, Naruto figured. Some tattoos probably started off as being independent, only to be joined in a sleeve or something. If someone got their knuckles tattooed, Naruto wondered, would that count as eight?

“Woah!” Naruto answered, taking care this time to stay perfectly stationary. “When’d you start getting ‘em?”

“You’re…certainly inquisitive.”

Naruto laughed, his face flushing a slight bit.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been told that I can be nosey. If I wanna know, I just ask without thinking twice.”

“I can see that,” Sasuke stated, his voice not entirely devoid of humor.

“Seriously, just tell me to cram it if I make you uncomfortable. I won’t mind if you’re blunt; my ego can take it.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Sasuke answered. “But I can’t answer your question.”

From that, Naruto pieced together that Sasuke was probably under-aged when he got his first tattoo. Maybe he was keeping his mouth shut to avoid getting anyone in trouble.

“Gotcha.”

They were silent for a bit longer, and Naruto barely refrained from fidgeting. He was doing much better than he had last time. He wasn’t even dizzy. He just needed some sort of distraction, and Sasuke seemed to realize this.

“Do you like being asked questions? Or only asking them?”

“I don’t mind ‘em usually. Why?”

“Curiosity.”

Sasuke was...curious about him?

“You’ve got plenty of time to figure that out,” Naruto beamed. Though he knew that Sasuke couldn’t see his face, his expression could be heard through his voice.

There was a quick rapping on the door. Sasuke sighed, glancing over at it.

“Yeah?” he called out.

“Itachi’s here,” a deep voice responded. What was his name again? Right. Juugo.

Sasuke glanced at the clock incredulously.

“Is everything good?”

Naruto took it that whoever was visiting probably did so rarely. Or perhaps it was the time of day that was peculiar.

“Yeah,” Juugo answered. “One of his patients cancelled, so he’s stopping by. He says it’s cool if you’re busy though.”

Naruto would have directly spoken through the door that Sasuke wasn’t busy, but he first considered the possibility that Sasuke might not want to see the man. Still, Naruto didn’t want to be a nuisance.

“I could use a break anyhow,” Naruto said quietly, so that Juugo couldn’t hear him. “Gimme some water or somethin’ before I faint again.”

Sasuke seemed appreciative of Naruto’s white lie, which clearly hadn’t fooled Sasuke.

“You should drink. It’s been about an hour. Let me get you something.”

He was back in only a few seconds with a Dixie cup of cool water. He placed it by the counter by Naruto’s chair.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes. It won’t be long.”

“Take your time, Sasuke,” Naruto answered, pronouncing his artist’s name clearly and smiling at him. Sasuke gave him the mildest smile back as he shut the door behind him. For some reason, that smile felt like a very large accomplishment to Naruto.

He heard mumbling through the door between Sasuke and some other man. He sounded to be older than both of them, perhaps middle aged. About five minutes had passed when Sasuke returned. Naruto had gone through his water cup long ago, sitting in the chair expectantly.

“Sorry about that,” Sasuke told Naruto casually. “If I didn’t grab him now, he’d probably be too busy for the next two months.”

Naruto had been immediately curious as to who this man was. He had patients? Was he a doctor? He certainly hadn’t expected to see a doctor in a place like this.

“Who was he?”

Naruto glanced around his shoulder to watch Sasuke sit and stretch out his cramped fingers, washing his hands again before putting on a new pair of gloves. Naruto watched Sasuke bite the inside end of one of his snakebites as he considered how to answer Naruto’s question. Sasuke seemed to have quite the oral fixation. Only now did Naruto realize that he’d been staring at Sasuke’s mouth, and he quickly fixed that before Sasuke noticed.

“My brother.”

Naruto certainly hadn’t been expecting _that_.

“Wait, your brother’s a doctor?” Naruto asked, wondering if he’d misinterpreted something.

“Yes.”

Naruto faced forward again, resuming his prior position in the chair. Despite the fact that he’d spent the past hour getting tattooed, he felt just the slightest dash of excitement as he heard Sasuke’s machine fire up again.

“Starting,” Sasuke said simply, now applying the needle to Naruto’s skin.

Naruto was actually glad that Sasuke hadn’t gone too far out of his way to warn him that he was starting back up. He really was pretty comfortable in the chair, despite the way his first session had turned out. Sasuke was clearly beginning to realize this, as he treated him nowhere nearly as delicately as he had at the start.

Hardly any time had passed by the time Naruto asked his next question.

“You’re not from one of those…doctor slash lawyer families, are you?”

There was silence, though Sasuke didn’t slow down his work for an instant.

“Their intent was to become one. My brother is the only victory so far.”

“Did your family…  I mean if you don’t mind me asking, how’d they handle your profession?”

Sasuke let out a quiet scoff that seemed almost involuntary and a little bitter.

“Let’s not open that can of worms.”

Naruto could tell that Sasuke was trying to make his tone light-hearted. Whatever the situation, this was a touchy issue for Sasuke. If Sasuke did have a relationship with his parents, it was probably a strained one.

“Ironically,” Sasuke mumbled under his breath, as if someone might potentially hear him. “I make more money than he does.”

Naruto laughed. He had one of those hearty laughs that tended to shake his whole body, so he cut it short and kept it mild, though he felt like giving Sasuke a guffaw. Over the course of this session, Sasuke had started to seem a lot less like just another professional or a random artist to him. Sasuke had seemed very distant from him, someone from an entirely different walk of life. But Sasuke was quickly becoming human to him.

“So what about you? Did you always want to be a Marine?”

“Actually…” Naruto corrected. “I want to be a high school English teacher.”

Naruto could tell that he’d actually surprised Sasuke for once, because the buzzing of the machine stopped for an instant. Sasuke was probably doing a double take.

“A teacher?”

Sasuke wouldn’t have been the first person to think that Naruto just didn’t look like the type. But hell, he liked kids, and there had been a certain person who had inspired him to pursue that vocation.

“Yeah! It’s been my dream since I was sixteen!”

“Why the Marines then?”

Naruto gave a wistful sigh.

“Well, see, I was in a group home before I got to be college age. I was broke and didn’t have a family to help me out. When I got out of high school, I said, ‘Next year, I’ll go to college.’  And then I got myself a full-time job at Subway to save up.”

Naruto paused for a moment.

“See, I’m an artist, just like you. A _sandwich_ artist.”

As enthusiastic as Naruto tried to be about whatever he was doing, even he couldn’t buy his official job title of “sandwich artist.” He was going to explain to Sasuke that yes, his formal title actually had been “sandwich artist,” but the small snicker he got out of Sasuke told him that he already understood the reference.

Naruto took great pride in that snicker, actually. If he couldn’t get Sasuke to laugh, he’d at least settle for some kind of amusement.

“But then ‘next year’ came, and I was _still_ broke. On my Subway salary! Can you imagine that?”

“The gods must be against you,” Sasuke answered good-naturedly.

“It was always next year that I’d go to college and become a teacher. Next year, next year, next year. But ‘next year’ would come and go, so I did the typical poor person ‘get out of jail free’ card thing and joined the military.”

“Ah, I see,” Sasuke remarked idly.

“Sorry. You probably guessed the whole story after the first two sentences. I can be kinda long-winded sometimes.”

“I don’t mind it,” Sasuke said softly, concentrating just fine throughout the conversation. “Besides, we’ve got two more hours together.”

Naruto smiled, finding Sasuke to be quite the comfortable conversational partner, despite his abrupt mannerisms and the fact that Naruto had the hots for him. Naruto paused for a bit before entering into the subject material again.

“So they pay me to be on call. Meanwhile, I work as a barista at some small coffee shop in Midtown, and I can make tips _rain_ with these pearly whites,” Naruto answered, tilting his head so he could give Sasuke a full-fledged grin. “Plus, a little modeling on the side.”

There. He’d totally slipped it in.

He just barely caught a glance of Sasuke rolling his eyes at him with that same crooked smile on his lips, just that much more obvious due to his snakebites. Naruto mused that with facial expressions as minute as Sasuke’s, maybe he could read Sasuke a little better by balancing one of those bubble levels on Sasuke’s snakebites, just like the one he used to hang his picture frames. It certainly seemed like that could come in handy, kind of like a life hack for all interactions with his tattoo artist. Unfortunately, they were just small little metal studs.

And he’d gotten totally lost in his head again. Sakura was always bitching at him that he needed to stop daydreaming so much. Maybe she had a point.

“Plus, I’m kinda…” Naruto tried to gesture to his body as best he could, keeping his back still. Sasuke was working on his shoulder blade.

“Slow?” Sasuke interrupted.

“What? No! What?” Naruto answered, realizing a little late that he wasn’t exactly proving Sasuke wrong here.

Was Sasuke hinting that he was receiving pity tips? Hm! What a prick.

“I’m attractive, you asshole!”

And he was. He had sky blue eyes, bright blond hair, and a face completely free of any scarring of blemish. He’d never been so in shape in his entire life, though he supposed that training for the Marines could do that to just about anyone. He was a genuine Marine now, and even though he wasn’t currently serving, he had to keep his body up to par at all times. His daily exercise regimen was not for the weak of heart. He was proud of his body, dammit. Those muscles of his did not come easily.

“Can’t argue with that,” Sasuke replied, his voice low and just slightly teasing as his hands continued, uninterrupted.

Now, Naruto really _did_ feel dizzy. There was…no way they were flirting, right? Whatever the case, he couldn’t let himself get too distracted. If he suddenly went quiet, Sasuke might just figure him out. Had Sasuke figured him out? No, he couldn’t have possibly figured him out. Wait, hadn’t he decided that he was going to say something?

“So…” Naruto began, his voice wandering until he found his way. “I’m not doing so bad for myself, finally saving up some cash. After I serve, they’ll even pay for my college tuition.”

“Sounds like a good setup.”

“Yeah…” Naruto said, very tentatively. His eyes sunk down to the floor, as if he didn’t know whether he should continue speaking or not.

“Hm?” Sasuke prompted.

This was against his better judgment, but...

“But then…  The towers.”

It hadn’t even been a year since the World Trade Center had been leveled. He was sure that Sasuke remembered that day every bit as well as he did. The entire city had been scarred in a way that would never mend. Even as they spoke, they were only a few miles away from Ground Zero.

“And then the war…” Naruto mumbled. He gave a quiet and wry chuckle before adding, “I didn’t see that one coming.”

“Ah…”

“There’s no free lunch. The instant I get that phone call, my life in America stops. For all I know, I could be in Afghanistan two weeks from now.”

He saw Sakura’s face in his mind so clearly. He didn’t want to imagine what she was actually doing right now. Well, in all probability, probably sleeping given the time difference. But wherever she was, she wasn’t safe.

Naruto felt a little foolish at the resulting silence. It only lasted for a second, though Naruto perceived the lapse as being much longer. Naruto was just about to open his mouth and apologize for himself when Sasuke spoke up.

“But you have pressing business _here_ ,” Sasuke countered in his typically serious tone. “I’m sure the military will understand.”

“Huh?” Naruto asked. What was he going on about?

“You can’t go off to war with a half-finished tattoo.”

Naruto began to laugh, trying to hold it down. From Sasuke, it was hilarious.

“Stop,” Naruto spoke under his breath.

Sasuke stopped inking him, concerned now, just so Naruto could burst into laughter. Naruto knew that there was no holding it back or masking it with a small chuckle. He just couldn’t help it. Sasuke was such a stiff, and he of all people managed to make light of the situation? The fact that he wasn’t supposed to laugh only made it more difficult to resist.

“You laugh, but it’s no joke,” Sasuke insisted. “We can’t have you representing our country like that, and there’s no hiding it. It’s hot out there…”

“The shirt’s comin’ off!” Naruto added, still laughing.

Naruto’s chuckles began to die down. He was very glad he’d insisted that Sasuke stop. God, he probably would’ve startled the hell out of the guy.

“’S why you gotta finish before I leave. Paint somethin’ fierce on my back that’ll put some fear in their hearts!”

“Should I add that request to your file?” Sasuke asked, and something light in the tone of his voice made Naruto wish that he could see Sasuke’s face.

Naruto didn’t know how Sasuke could cheer him up so quickly. If it were anyone, he would’ve found a way to laugh it off. He just didn’t like moping in front of others. Yet it would have been forced, and this actually was not.

“Write it up and down the thing in Sharpie!”

He swore he heard Sasuke chuckling behind him. He stopped laughing immediately so that he could hear Sasuke. However, Sasuke was silent the exact instant Naruto stopped laughing, the only sound in the room being Sasuke’s irons and the sounds of music and conversation from the main room.

“Why’d you stop laughing?” Sasuke inquired, his voice packing the edge of a warning.

“I’m…” Naruto paused. He couldn’t just tell Sasuke the truth. “Easily distracted?”

Naruto’s inflection squeaked upwards at the end of his question.

“So I’ve noticed.”

“Anyhow…” Naruto continued, “I think I see why people like these rooms.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I like the main room too, but it’s a nice change in pace,” Naruto stated. “It’s not so loud in here. More relaxing.”

“If you prefer these rooms, you can do your sessions in here instead. We have three of them, so it won’t be an issue.”

“Do I have to tell you which in advance?”

“As long as you don’t mind me taking a few minutes to switch my supplies over, it makes no difference to me.”

“Alright. Good to know.”

About twenty minutes passed between the two silently. Maybe it was because it was getting darker out, but Naruto felt like he was winding down. The sensation was starting to annoy him a little more, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Still, it wasn’t much of an issue. He was actually beginning to see how it was possible for someone to fall asleep in the middle of a tattoo, especially in these relatively quiet backrooms.

Naruto had a little less than an hour left. He wished that Sasuke would have just taken his word for it and allowed him to stay longer, but he couldn’t blame him. Now that Naruto thought of it, they had only been speaking for less than three hours, if he were to include their meeting at Grinds. Yet they’d already talked about so many different things together. They hadn’t exactly swapped life stories, but it felt like they’d been around each other for much longer than three hours.

“Hey, Sasuke…”

“Hm?”

“What do you do for fun outside of work?”

Sasuke was actually silent for a while, appearing to need time to mull it over.

“I draw, hike, go to shows, play the piano... Rumor has it that my staff can bribe me into attending social events, but don’t believe everything you hear.”

“Awesome!” Naruto replied with a slight chuckle. “I go to concerts all the time, though I can’t draw to save my life. I play the guitar. What kind of music do you like?”

“I like a lot of indie and alternative. Sometimes metal and punk, and then some classical. How long have you played the guitar?”

“Twelve years,” Naruto grinned. “And solid years too. I practice almost every day.”

“You must be good then.”

Naruto gave a nervous but cheeky laugh. He supposed he _was_ pretty good.

“Eh…  I was in a band in high school with my boyfriend at the time. I mean, we were _okay_.”  There. Now Sasuke knew he was into guys. So stealthy. “But other than that, I mostly just play for myself. I sound pretty good to me though, heh.”

Naruto could barely hear Sasuke breathing as Sasuke brought his face down closer to Naruto’s back, evidently working on some finer details. He wondered if Sasuke would comment on his sexual orientation or ask him if he liked women as well, but Sasuke just didn’t seem like the sort. He liked to respect peoples’ privacy.

“I always wanted to learn the guitar,” Sasuke commented idly.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I had the piano forced on me instead. It grew on me,” Sasuke remarked. “I still play daily. I’m good, so the prospect of sucking at a musical instrument again isn’t all that appealing.”

Naruto tsk’d, shaking his head as minutely as he could. That sounded like a life regret waiting to happen.

“You might get old one day and regret not learning the guitar. And your fingers will be all wrinkly and full of arthritis and won’t even be able to hold down a C chord.”

“Thank you for that image, Naruto,” Sasuke answered grimly.

Naruto paused a while, unsure of whether or not the idea in his head was best left unspoken.

“You know, I could teach you how to play the guitar.”

The sound of the ink marking his body seemed so loud to Naruto now.

“Could you, now?”

Naruto tried to read into Sasuke’s tone but could take nothing away. He swallowed.

“I could.”

“I might take you up on that someday.”

Fuckfuckfuckfuck. This can _not_ be happening.

“Really?” Naruto laughed nervously. Now he wanted to fidget more than ever, his feet sweating in his shoes. Sasuke paused for a moment, probably in response to Naruto’s agitation.

“Really.”

His heart was thudding hard in his chest. But this didn’t mean a _date_. He _had_ slipped in that he’d had a boyfriend at one point in his life, and Sasuke had also directly called him attractive. Still, this could be a completely platonic outing, and it was a “maybe someday,” not a “this Friday at eight.”  It might never even occur. Sasuke was probably straight anyhow.

Naruto really liked this guy. He didn’t know how to say it. He didn’t want to creep Sasuke out.

“Well, the offer’s always open,” Naruto answered, flashing a brilliant grin.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Naruto just couldn’t get the smile off of his face. He was willing himself not to daydream about taking Sasuke out in a red convertible, wind sweeping through his hair like in some cheesy commercial.

“This is a good stopping point for today.”

Introducing Sasuke to his friends and watching them get jealous. Eating a jumbo bag of Cheetos with Sasuke on Superbowl Sunday, trying not to get orange fingerprints on anything. Kissing him…

Wait… Why had Sasuke stopped inking him? He tried to relay the last few seconds in his head and oooh crap, Sasuke had actually been speaking to him. Wow, way to go.

“Lame…” Naruto sighed, sounding every bit as disappointed as he felt.

“Some change in you since the last time,” Sasuke remarked, with a bit of teasing in his tone.

“Hate to say I told you so, but… I told you so.”

He heard Sasuke snicker.

“Would you like to see it?”

Naruto nodded eagerly.

Sasuke held a mirror in front of him so that Naruto could see the reflection of the fox in the mirror behind him. Some more outlines were being filled in, and some phenomenal shading was developing. He loved the look of it already. It was just how he’d pictured it to be, if not better. It was like all of his fantasies were materializing. He didn’t realize until now that he’d been smiling.

“I have to bandage you up.”

Sasuke applied bandages and quickly brushed over aftercare procedure. Naruto left the shop with plenty of stamina and energy.

Now, all worries had left his mind. A large, dopey smile dominated his face. He couldn’t wait for his next session with Sasuke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone likes! It's new for me to write from Naruto's POV, so I'm doing my best to get inside his dopey head. Sasuke's POV comes so naturally to me.
> 
> Ultimately, I'd like to get this story up from biweekly to weekly Tuesday updates, but things have been crazy lately. We shall see.


	4. Make It Count

He was pleased that his last session had gone so well. He liked to think he was getting pretty good at sitting through these things. At least he wasn’t fainting anymore. His body could have taken that, but he didn’t know if he could say the same thing about his sense of pride.

He loved the feel of the machine on his back, knowing that the ink etched into it would remain there for the rest of his life. It had a sort of finality about it, a daringness that Naruto found alluring. He liked the idea of changing his body like a painter marks a canvas. It was different, and Naruto liked different.

And Sasuke. Sasuke was, most certainly, different. Just walking down the street, Naruto was sure he got more than his fair share of stares. However, he assumed it could at times be unclear whether they were double taking at his tattoos or just checking him out. Naruto knew that if it were him, it would have certainly been the latter.

Through most of their interactions, Naruto had hardly even been able to look at Sasuke. He was usually lying on his stomach. However, he heard Sasuke’s voice. He loved the way it sounded when he teased him, when he smirked, when he had just _barely_ woken up. He couldn’t help but remember Sasuke’s voice as Suigetsu had awoken him, that low and almost intimate mumbling before he’d fully achieved consciousness.

Sasuke wasn’t exactly what your standard person would call Prince Charming. He was cranky, stern, and a little bit abrasive. But he also seemed to be extremely intelligent, witty, and driven. Naruto also knew for a fact now that Sasuke was not _completely_ serious. He swore to God he saw a sense of humor in there.

Naruto came in Friday afternoon with a slight headache. He’d scheduled his whole week around this session, so he decided to come in anyway. Besides, it was nothing an Excedrin couldn’t fix. He’d told Sasuke that he was coming a couple days in advance, so Sasuke was waiting for him when he walked through the door. He’d given Sasuke another call about ten minutes ago suggesting the private room; he felt awkward asking for it in front of the rest of the staff.

“I’m back!” Naruto cheered as he walked into the studio with a wide grin. “Hope you guys didn’t miss me too much.”

“Karin’s been pining away,” Suigetsu mocked, cocking his head over at Karin. “You’re just in time.”

Suigetsu laughed as Karin placed her hand on her hip and rolled her eyes dramatically.

“You’ll have to excuse Suigetsu,” Karin added as she addressed Naruto with a smile. “He thinks he’s funny.”

“I’m hilarious,” Suigetsu denied, sipping his water bottle. “You’re just too uptight to notice.”

Naruto chuckled at the two’s banter.

“Sasuke, looks like there’s disorder in the ranks.”

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Sasuke replied.

Suigetsu was tattooing a man’s arm, and Karin was just now distracted by a customer who was requesting a lip piercing.

“Well, let’s do this,” Naruto said cheerily, a wide smile on his face.

It wasn’t long until Sasuke had him ready. Naruto was lying down, almost humming with contentment as he let Sasuke work on him.

“You’re taking to this very well, Naruto.”

Something about the way Sasuke spoke his name sent shivers up his spine. It gave him goosebumps, and given that Sasuke was currently staring at his back, this had probably not gone unnoticed. Naruto felt exposed.

“I am, huh?” Naruto answered sheepishly. “Just got off to a shaky start.”

“Do you have any plans for tattoos after this one?”

Naruto considered this for a few seconds.

“No. I’m not ruling it out completely, but so far I’m content with what I’m getting. I couldn’t imagine getting anything else”

Sasuke knew this sort of tattoo. Every now and again, he’d run into someone who wanted a very large tattoo but had never had any other sort of body modification beforehand, nor did they have any future plans. Usually, those were the tattoos that really meant something. Yet Sasuke wouldn’t ask Naruto what this tattoo meant. It would be too forward.

“I’m still young,” Naruto added. “I have time for more, whatever the case.”

“If you only want a few, I can see why you’d want to pace yourself,” Sasuke mused as he quickly made his way down the fox’s side, shading.

“It’s addictive. Trust me; I’d know,” Sasuke added with a hint of self-deprecating humor.

“Oh, I believe you,” Naruto laughed.

They were silent for a while, the familiar pain becoming easier to ignore.

“It’s pacing myself, and also the fact I’m just short on ideas.”

“If you ever need help with that, they say I’m a goldmine.”

Naruto paused, glancing down at the floor. He felt the same hesitation he felt before offering to teach Sasuke the guitar. That had gone well though, hadn’t it?

“Hey, Sasuke…”

“Hm?”

“Knowing what you do about me, do you have any tattoo ideas?” Naruto asked, but he quickly had to add. “I mean, I’m way too busy with this tattoo to think about getting more any time soon, but I was curious.”

Sasuke remained silent, though his irons still bore into Naruto’s skin. It unnerved Naruto not to know what Sasuke was thinking.

“I’d have to think about that,” Sasuke admitted. “But I can tell you that you have a great body for tattoos.”

Naruto swore he felt his face turn some shade of pink.

“How so?” Naruto inquired. He wasn’t fishing for compliments, but if Sasuke was trying to flirt with him…  He wouldn’t mind feeding that.

“You’re shaped well. Your limbs are long, and you’re very muscular. Simply put, there’s a lot to work with.”

Naruto felt himself begin to sweat, just a bit.

“And just looking at you,” Sasuke added casually. “They seem like they would suit you.”

“Yours suit you.”

_Shit._

Naruto’s voice had been low and calm, but it felt like the words left his lips before he’d even thought them. He hadn’t meant to say that! The sound of his words surprised him, and now he felt like he was traipsing through embarrassment. He’d pushed it too far, hadn’t he?

But Sasuke merely smirked in that lethally attractive way he had, not sounding even the slightest bit frazzled.

“Yes, that’s why I got them.”

Phew.

Seriously, this guy was bad for his heart.

“So…” Naruto began, doing his best to keep his voice confident. “If you don’t have any ideas for _what_ I’d get, do you have any ideas for where?”

The machine stopped. Had he said something wrong? Naruto bit at the inside of his lip – something he saw Sasuke doing frequently. Perhaps he was learning the habit through osmosis. He allowed his front to part with the chair, ready for a stretch.

But he jumped when he felt Sasuke’s gloved fingertips on his abdomen, trailing along the skin of his six-pack. He looked down to see Sasuke’s colorfully inked forearm brush his side.

“Something long, to accentuate your muscle definition,” Sasuke said in a tone that was all business. Only Naruto knew that it really wasn’t.

Naruto heard his heart beating in his head loudly, trying to keep his breathing steady. Sasuke was close enough to him so that he would know if his breath hitched.

“You shouldn’t do that,” Naruto said. “It feels too good.”

Naruto finished off with a laugh so that he could pretend to be joking if necessary. Sasuke could roll the comment off if he so pleased. Sasuke’s hands continued moving for just a second longer before letting go.

“Oh?” Sasuke inquired devilishly. If it were possible for a single word to make Naruto cum on the spot, Sasuke might have just found a method.

“Where else?” Naruto asked boldly.

“Here,” Sasuke answered, those skillful fingers now caressing the skin between Naruto’s neck and shoulder. This had always been a sensitive area of skin for Naruto, and he felt his blood quickly flooding south. It took all of Naruto’s discipline not to lean into Sasuke’s touch. “For your long neck.”

“Where else?”

Naruto’s heart thudded between his ears now. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. They hadn’t done anything explicitly sexual, but the two of them both knew that there was something much more to this than business. This was brazen, but each one of Naruto’s transgressions was rewarded with a caress.

“A piercing,” Sasuke answered, brushing his fingertip over Naruto’s nipple. “Here.”

Naruto remembered Sasuke’s piercing now, in the same place, the barbell neatly pushed through it. And Sasuke’s finger, on skin _that_ sensitive…

“Sasuke…” Naruto breathed out, trying not to moan.

Did he dare?

“Where else?”

He’d gone this far. He’d better make it count.

His face out of Sasuke’s sight, Naruto clamped his eyes shut, eagerly and nervously waiting for what was to come. His lungs and heart were both working faster. Sasuke didn’t move and didn’t speak as a couple seconds lapsed.

“I have plenty of ideas in those regards, Naruto,” Sasuke told him implicatively. “But that’s not up for discussion today.”

“Right, right,” Naruto laughed nervously. He’d just had to press his luck, hadn’t he? “Sorry.”

He realized now that his newly budded erection was quite uncomfortably pressing into the chair. God, he’d have to will this one down. At least Sasuke hadn’t noticed.

“There’s no reason to apologize.”

Only a moment passed until Sasuke resumed his work. Naruto realized that whatever feelings he had towards his tattoo artist were probably mutual. However, Sasuke was a professional. There was a line they’d danced awfully close to, but Sasuke refused to cross it. After all, how horribly could that have ended for Sasuke? Yet another part of Naruto wondered if he’d gotten the wrong idea completely.

Only one way to find out.

“So um…” Naruto stuttered. “Do you still want to learn the guitar?”

“Hm…” Sasuke answered him, pausing a moment. Naruto could tell in his tone of voice… He was intentionally stalling just to watch Naruto squirm. Such a sadist...

“I guess.”

“About uh…” Naruto muttered. “About when would you like to learn how to play the guitar?”

Where “learn to play the guitar” was Naruto’s code phrase for “go out with me.”

“Damn…” Sasuke sighed, and his smirk practically drenched his words. “You’re not very good at this.”

So harsh!

Normally, he was great at this. But this was...Sasuke.

“What are you doing Friday night?” Sasuke asked, mercifully taking the reigns.

No. Fucking. Way.

This wasn’t seriously happening, was it? Had he fainted again? Was he hallucinating?

“Nothing!” Naruto answered quickly. Much too quickly. “I mean I’m doing a lot of things, but I could squeeze you in.”

“Appreciated. How does 8 o’clock fit into your busy schedule?” Sasuke mocked.

But Naruto was too ecstatic to complain.

“It works,” he said, trying his best to sound unimpressed.

“I’ll look forward to it.”

No way, no how. He was going on a _date_ with Sasuke? He’d actually done it. Finally, things were going his way again.

* * *

Sasuke showed up at Naruto’s place, which was in the southernmost area of Harlem, in tightly fitted blue jeans, black boots that stopped just below his knees, and a flannel button down shirt, a little bit of his chest peeking through. It was just enough for Naruto to give a hard swallow and show a little ink. His sleeves were buttoned up to just below his elbows. This style, just a little punk, suited him well.

“Have a seat,” Naruto said with a grin, pointing to the couch in his family room.

As Sasuke passed his threshold, Naruto got a good view of his backside. God, those jeans really complemented Sasuke’s ass. And those boots… Naruto quickly routed his eyes upwards. Was it really his fault for getting distracted? It felt unreal to actually have the man in his house. Prior to this point, he’d only known Sasuke within the context of work and the tattoo studio, if he didn’t count that brief detour to Grinds. Sasuke sat on Naruto’s couch, exhaling slowly. He had to admit that Sasuke looked good there, in his own home.

Naruto’s apartment was meticulously clean. Much to the chagrin of the families of his youth, his room tended to look like some sort of tropical storm had just had its way with the place and left it quivering and broken. But training for the service could change a lot of things about a person. Besides, he realized that he came to enjoy tidy surroundings better, and now he didn’t have to hurriedly sweep his mess under beds and sofas when he had company over.

It was nothing impressive though. Just a simple one bedroom with blue carpet and white walls, covered in posters of everything from guitars to rock bands to Spiderman, which he was definitely _not_ too old for. No one is too old for Spiderman.

“Would you like anything to drink? I’ve got soda, OJ, water, beer…”

“Got any diet soda?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto did, actually. He kept it around for Sakura, but Sakura wasn’t here anymore. Naruto replied with a drawn-out sigh.

“You’re not seriously on a diet, are you?”

Sasuke wasn’t what he’d call skinny, but he certainly didn’t need to lose any weight. He was lean and toned – just perfect as he was.

“No. Regular soda is too sweet for me.”

“Alright.”

Naruto fetched a can of diet Coke from his fridge, which was the only diet beverage he had. He got himself a can of orange Sunkist.

“Want a cup?”

“I’ll drink from the can.”

Naruto sat next to Sasuke, about a foot’s distance between them. Naruto popped his can open and took a hearty swallow.

“How’d you find the place?”

Sasuke opened his can and had a sip.

“It wasn’t difficult. I took the subway.”

Naruto’s apartment was only a few blocks from the subway system. This made it extremely easy for Naruto to get anywhere in New York City. He bought one of those monthly unlimited transportation cards and used the subway to get to work each day. It was a little expensive, but it was nothing compared to parking prices, let alone the upfront cost of owning a vehicle. Also, even though Naruto was on the safer side of Harlem that closely bordered Central Park, he wasn’t going to walk alone there at night for hours.

“I know, isn’t it great how close this place is to the station? That’s partially why I chose it.”

Sasuke nodded.

“I got one of those unlimited month passes. I take it to work every day. Easy as pie.”

“I have one too,” Sasuke answered.

Naruto grinned. That would make transportation for the two of them pretty simple. They could go anywhere they pleased.

“So, where’s your place, anyway?”

“Lower East Side.”

“So you’re like…right by everything. That must be really cool.”

Sasuke shrugged.

“It’s convenient.”

The two of them drank their sodas, quiet now.

“So, uh…”

Naruto hated awkward silences, and not only while in the parlor chair. Sasuke seemed to be realizing this.

“What’s your knowledge of the guitar, anyway?”

“Zilch,” Sasuke answered.

Naruto finished his Sunkist quickly. Sasuke was still sipping on his soda.

“Why don’t you serenade me while I drink?” Sasuke requested. “Play something for me.”

“Sure thing!”

Naruto was excited to show off. He tended to wow people whenever he brought out his guitar, but then again, Sasuke did not seem like an easy person to impress. He also really, _really_ liked Sasuke, so Naruto felt a lot of pressure to perform well. It had been a while since he felt so nervous about playing the guitar, an instrument so intimately familiar to him. But he’d be fine, right? He was pro.

He decided that for these purposes, he’d opt for his electric. That black and white Fender Starcaster both looked and sounded cooler than his acoustic. He’d turn the volume down on the amp when Sasuke learned out of courtesy. He knew firsthand how humiliating it could be to learn your way around a guitar when every single mistake you make is amplified. God forbid anyone in the vicinity _not_ realize that you fucked up.

“So, what do you want me to play?”

“Your favorite song.”

On one hand, this gave Naruto the advantage of choosing a song he was particularly good at. On the other hand, what if Sasuke didn’t like the song? What if he didn’t like his musical taste? Sasuke had described his taste in music to Naruto before, but still…

“Comin’ right up.”

Voodoo Chile. Jimi Hendrix. This shit was his jam. And it was not easy. No, not at all, especially that guitar solo. But he could play this song in his sleep. He _loved_ this song.

Timing, timing, timing. The song was difficult enough to play from a technical standpoint, but Jimi Hendrix had a very unique sound and sense of timing, especially in that song. Then there was the muting, the hammering on and off, which had to be _just_ right.

So Naruto had played it literally hundreds of times from the age of eighteen, taping himself and comparing it to the original. And he liked to flatter himself by thinking he’d gotten pretty damned close. Of course, no one could ever imitate Jimi _completely_ , Naruto insisted. He had yet to hear it done by anyone, especially with this song. Sure, they could get the notes and the timing, but there was just…something about it that was particularly Jimi Hendrix.

But even if he couldn’t be Hendrix, he could be himself. His music was accented by a piece of himself, his own style, bleeding into the notes. Would Sasuke be able to tell?

Naruto started with the slightly muted chords in the beginning. Sasuke raised his brows, recognizing the song within the first two seconds. So, perhaps he was a fan. And he seemed to know what was coming next.

Naruto glanced up to see Sasuke’s split second, “Is he seriously going to try to play this?” expression before his face settled into his typically composed demeanor. Naruto shot him back a smirk. Yes, he totally was.

Sasuke had stopped drinking, just watching Naruto play. Throughout the easier parts (there really were no “easy” parts), Naruto’s timing and technique were impeccable. Naruto took a deep breath as he neared the guitar solo. His hands were sweating.

This was the hard part, and it was loud. If he fucked up, it could screech and just otherwise be immensely humiliating, despite the skill he’d already demonstrated. Normally, he didn’t have to worry about making a mistake, but he seemed to have more trouble when someone watched. And now this “someone” was Sasuke.

As he approached the solo, he almost wanted to delay it. Just stop, laugh, and say, “Well, you get the idea." But no, he was Uzumaki Naruto. When things got tough, he just kept plowing through. He had to play the solo! He couldn’t slow down his tempo to try to avoid it. He’d go headfirst. He could do this.

The solo began. For just a moment, he forgot about Sasuke, every bit of his consciousness focused into nailing this as perfectly as he possibly could. There was no room to think about anything else – only the guitar. And this was one of the things he loved about the guitar. When he played, everything else went away, good or bad, and it was only him and his instrument.

His fingers and hand moved quickly, dramatically scaling up and down the guitar, which moved back and forth amidst the quiet sounds of his palm sliding over the strings. His fingers moved up and down furiously. So far, so good. He was halfway through.

But then he’d heard it. He’d made a mistake. For a few seconds, his timing had been off. It wasn’t obvious, but it flustered him and brought him out of his trance. Now he remembered quite clearly that Sasuke was sitting right next to him, though Naruto had given himself plenty of room for a song that required so much physical movement. It was possible that Sasuke hadn’t even picked up on the mistake. Only someone intimately familiar with the song would realize.

Naruto had corrected himself. He made that guitar _shriek_ , and in just the right ways. When he ended the solo on good footing, he let out a soft “phew” before he could stop himself. He would’ve wiped his forehead if he could’ve. He heard Sasuke snicker at Naruto’s obvious relief, which made his face feel a little warmer.

The rest of the song was just maintenance – difficult maintenance, but maintenance. He’d finished. He let his hands drop to the sofa, very hesitantly glancing over at Sasuke for his reaction.

Sasuke was...smiling.

“I’ve never heard anyone nail that song before in my life.”

Naruto’s blush grew a shade darker at the compliment.

“Ah, it was nothing…" Naruto tended only to be humble when complimented. Yet such a strong compliment from Sasuke was almost too much for him to handle. “I just… I dunno, I really liked Jimi Hendrix as a kid. So my ultimate goal when I started off was just to learn this song. It took me forever…”

“How long is forever?”

Sasuke’s curiosity was a good sign. Maybe it hadn’t been so obvious on Sasuke’s face, but Naruto could tell that he’d surprised him. Hell, maybe he’d even impressed him.

“Well, I got my first guitar when I was eleven. It took me seven years of playing to even make an _attempt_ , and even then, it sounded like shit. I got a lot better with it over the next couple years, and I’ve just been making tiny improvements ever since.”

“Do you get paid for playing?”

Naruto shook his head.

“Nah. I just play for myself, and for a few of my friends sometimes. I’m not like…aiming to be a professional musician or anything.”

“Just for the sake of the music?”

Naruto nodded.

“Yeah…  It was one of the best things I’ve discovered yet. When things weren’t going like I’d planned, I’d just kinda bury myself in it and concentrate… It made it feel like something was going right.”

“I can understand that,” Sasuke said quietly.

“Heh,” Naruto answered with a smile. He was glad that Sasuke had opened up to him, even if it was only seconding something he’d already said. He felt a sense of kinship with him at the moment, from one musician to another.

“So here!” Naruto offered the guitar to Sasuke, who scooted away. “Learn a _new_ instrument now!”

“You’re…a hard act to follow,” Sasuke stated, looking down at the guitar with what Naruto was pretty sure was uneasiness.

If Naruto didn’t know any better…  Was Sasuke actually showing insecurity?

“I’ll show you some stuff. Watch.”

Naruto turned off the amp, which Sasuke seemed appreciative of.

“Okay, so quick lesson. These are frets. Each time you go up a fret, you raise the note by a half step.”

Sasuke nodded. Given that Sasuke played the piano, Naruto assumed that he already understood basic music theory.

“In standard tuning, the strings are, as I go from low to high…  Low E, A, D, G, B, and high E.”

Naruto plucked the corresponding string with every letter.

“Here’s your first chord. It’s E minor.”

This was the easiest chord Naruto could think of. It seemed like a good one to learn. It only required his pointer and middle finger, resting on two adjacent strings on the second fret. Naruto strummed the guitar, letting Sasuke hear the final product.

“See? Can you see where my fingers are?”

Sasuke nodded again. He was a very quiet student.

“So, you try.”

Sasuke reached forward and lifted the guitar into his lap. His fingernails were short and well-groomed, perfect for these purposes. He placed his fingers on the same locations, strumming out a perfect E minor chord. Not a single string was muffled.

“Hey, that’s really good!”

Naruto came closer to Sasuke, sitting on his left side. He leaned over, their bodies close together now. He placed his hand over Sasuke’s left, pressing a string on the first fret.

“This’ll take three fingers, but if you press this string down too, that’s an E chord.”

Sasuke again repeated Naruto’s suggestion, perfectly. Naruto scrunched his brows together. Sasuke had claimed to have absolutely no knowledge of the guitar, but wasn’t he learning a little quickly? Usually, when he taught people to play, at least their first strum would come out muted and mangled. Sasuke only played the piano, so he didn’t even know any string instruments. How could he grasp it so easily?

“Alright…” Naruto said, staring Sasuke up and down. “C chord.”

He didn’t show Sasuke how to play it, but he played it anyway.

“Ah hah!” Naruto exclaimed, jumping back and pointing at Sasuke. “I knew it! You said you didn’t know anything! Liar!”

Sasuke sighed.

“I just know a few chords. I don’t know any real songs.”

“Hmm…” Naruto pondered, squinting his eyes at Sasuke. “I’ll let it slide.”

Sasuke scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“What chords do you know?”

“I know G, C, E, E minor, and D. And that’s the extent of my knowledge of the guitar.”

“Play ‘em for me?”

Sasuke went through each chord, taking a second or so to switch each time as his fingers found their way to the proper locations. He was using the correct technique.

“Great! So now, it’ll be real easy for me to teach you A minor and A.”

Naruto leaned over again to touch the strings, and he could smell Sasuke’s soap. He couldn’t smell that while he was in the chair, facing away from Sasuke. They were so close.

“So A minor is just like E. Move everything down one string.”

Sasuke managed that easily.

“And A is just lining that pointer finger up with your other two fingers. Everything is on the same fret.”

Again, a perfect chord.

“You’re a really fast learner, Sasuke,” Naruto beamed.

Sasuke merely grunted.

“Okay, since you’re taking to this so quickly, I’m gonna teach you how to play an F chord. Can I see the guitar for a second?”

Sasuke handed Naruto the guitar. He seemed pretty tight-lipped.

“So, first what you have to do is form a bar on the second fret with your pointer finger. You hold all the strings down cleanly, so it sounds like this.”

Naruto strummed the guitar. It wasn’t any sort of chord. Every string had just been moved up by one note.

“Try that first.”

Sasuke followed Naruto’s example. He strummed the guitar once, and it was…almost perfect. The high E was a little muted. Sasuke adjusted his hand and tried again, this time pulling it off neatly.

“Okay, good. Then use your pinky, ring, and middle finger to form an E chord while you’re holding every string down with your pointer finger.”

Squinting his eyes, Sasuke stared down at the guitar. He had to do some thinking for this one. He held his pointer finger to keep the strings down close to the neck, slowly positioning his remaining three fingers to form an E chord. Sasuke had formed his E chord previously with his pointer, middle, and ring fingers, so this took some reconfiguration.

Tentatively, Sasuke strummed the guitar, producing the muffled and cacophonous noise which Naruto had expected from the very beginning. Sasuke cringed at the result, an expression which Naruto couldn’t help but find endearing coming from him. He looked nothing short of appalled.

“That…left something to be desired.”

Naruto leaned back, laughing.

“What?” Sasuke asked, sounding a little defensive.

It wasn’t the fact that Sasuke’s chord had sounded so horrible. Honestly, that was to be expected when teaching someone a new instrument. In fact, he wasn’t expecting to even teach Sasuke that chord until his second or third lesson, provided that this actually happened again. He hoped it would. It was Sasuke’s reaction that got Naruto. It wouldn’t have amused him so much if it had been anyone other than Sasuke.

“I just didn’t know you could be so cute.”

Sasuke hitched, for a moment not knowing how to react. He finally settled on rolling his eyes at Naruto and leaning back into the sofa.

“You’re delusional.”

“Uh huh,” Naruto answered skeptically.

Sasuke huffed, appearing to pout. Never would Naruto have expected to see this from Sasuke. Sasuke was evidently a perfectionist, which Naruto supposed was a crucial trait for a tattoo artist. When he produced anything that was substandard, it bothered him. No wonder he hadn’t branched out.

“Want to try again?”

Sasuke frowned, again repositioning his hand and wrist so that he’d apply pressure in the right places. He laid his pointer finger down first, making sure he was still holding the strings down as his hand pivoted to use the other three fingers. He’d taken a good five seconds to readjust, because Sasuke clearly wasn’t interested in producing that cacophony again.

One more strum.

It was perfect!

“Goddamn…” Naruto sighed.

He really was a fast learner. What the hell?

“Now, for some agility training. Switch from G to C to D as fast as you can, and just loop it.”

Sasuke looked down, closing his lips as he moved from one chord to the next. These chords were relatively different from each other, compared to chords like E and A, so they at least provided somewhat of a challenge for Sasuke. The transitions weren’t quite seamless, but Sasuke was pretty damned close. Naruto hadn’t been lying when he called Sasuke a fast learner.

Naruto’s stomach seemed to have some input, however, growing fairly noisily. He should have eaten more for lunch, but he didn’t want to stuff himself in case Sasuke wanted to eat. Sasuke kept moving through the chords, quite fluidly now, as he addressed Naruto.

“I think you would’ve learned how to eat regularly by now.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I eat a _lot_.”

“But you’re hungry now?” Sasuke asked, stilling his hands. Naruto liked the sight of Sasuke sitting on his couch with his guitar, his right arm casually slumped over the guitar’s body.

“Eh…  Maybe _slightly_.”

“Me too,” Sasuke admitted. “Want to grab something to eat?”

This had…technically started as a guitar lesson, had it not? Naruto thought this seemed an awful lot like a date, especially considering their interactions during Naruto’s last session. However, it was of course possible that Naruto had been misguided. He tried not to get too set on that thought, lest it prove inaccurate.

“I’d offer to cook you up something here, but this place is kind of a wasteland when it comes to food,” Naruto said sheepishly, testing the waters.

“Let’s go out.”

Naruto couldn’t help but smile.

“Where to?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“No preference.”

Naruto scratched his chin. Many people would find this to be quite the challenge, but Naruto never had any trouble making suggestions when everyone else was bored, indecisive, or indifferent.

“Oh!” Naruto said excitedly, jumping in his seat. “I know where we should go!”

“Hm?”

“We should go to Shake Shack! You know, the one in Madison Square Park?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s nice out, and I kinda like to just go there and people watch,” Naruto mused. “Plus I’ve been craving it like mad lately.”

He probably shouldn’t have suggested junk food on a first date (was this a date?). But Naruto loved Shake Shack, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit that.

“So unhealthy…”

“C’mon. Just go to the gym tomorrow. It makes up for it!”

Sasuke sighed.

“It does sound good about now.”

Naruto gave a bright grin.

“Okay, let me find my keys.”

This took a little longer than Naruto would have liked. Despite the fact that he had learned to keep his surroundings tidy, he was still as absent-minded as ever when it came to misplacing his things. Sakura had told him that he really just needed to buy a key rack, or at least keep things in the same place for the love of god. And Naruto would tell her that that was a fantastic idea, and he’d get on it right away.

“I swear they were right here not even an hour ago,” Naruto said nervously.

Luckily, Sasuke seemed perfectly entertained sitting on the couch. He began to strum at Naruto’s guitar again, moving through every chord he knew and adopting a steady rhythm. The sound was melodic and calming, though Naruto didn’t know whether it was more endearing or attractive. He loved listening to Sasuke play, improving steadily as time passed.

Sasuke mixed the chords in his own way, and Naruto swore he heard...

“Wait, is that Back in Black?”

Dumb question. Sasuke was strumming it out perfectly, though not picking at any strings yet.

“You seem surprised.”

“Of course I’m surprised! I just taught you a few chords a few minutes ago, and you’re already figuring out how to play songs?”

Sasuke shrugged, playing fluidly while he talked.

“It’s simple. I play the piano by ear, so I can recognize chords in a song without thinking. You just showed me how to play those chords.”

Naruto tilted his head, watching Sasuke with slight confusion, and even a little envy. Dammit, how could Sasuke learn so quickly? Back to looking for the keys...

“Victory!” Naruto cheered upon success. “Finally!”

“It’s about time, dumbass,” Sasuke answered, putting away the guitar for Naruto and walking towards the door.

“Hey! I found ‘em, and that’s what counts!”

He locked the door behind them as they left, both a deadbolt and the standard lock. Harlem could get pretty rough. While he was definitely in a safer area of Harlem, near Central Park, he couldn’t afford to be reckless. At least he was close to the subway station, so he didn’t have to be out for long after dark if he didn’t want to be.

Sasuke and he were at the station within a couple minutes, flashing their cards as they entered the turnstiles. They only had to wait just over a minute until they entered a crowded subway train. They had a little while to go until they arrived at Shake Shack, which was in Midtown, relatively close to both Naruto’s workplace and Sasuke’s parlor. There were only two available seats together, which Naruto and Sasuke both took. They were small, pressing their bodies closely together as the train zipped through the tunnels.

A group of rowdy teenagers boarded at the Central Park stop, crowding the aisle ways and pushing Sasuke closer into Naruto, who was sitting near the window. Naruto noticed one of the males glance down at Sasuke with a vacant expression on his face, while a couple girls looked down at the two men, giggled, and looked away. Honestly, Naruto was used to turning heads, but now he didn’t know whether it was him or Sasuke who was responsible for this.

They transferred to the N line at the Times Square station, and from there it wasn’t very far to Madison Square Park. Shake Shack was bustling, as was to be expected on a Saturday night. The two of them got in line, which they figured would take some time.

“Man, I’ve loved this place since I moved here,” Naruto stated, bouncing excitedly in line. “It’s the first place I ever ate in Manhattan, so it’s really nostalgic.”

It was nice out, dark but comfortable without a jacket. Many people were dressed nicely, and there was a dull buzz of chatter around them. Their backs faced the iconic Flatiron Building, which formed the strange shape of an extremely acute triangle.

“Where’d you live before?” Sasuke asked.

“Oh, all over! I’m from Seattle, originally. But I got put in foster care around ten, then the family I was in moved to California when I was twelve.”

“You came here from California?”

“Nope! California family ran short on dough, had to give me up. My new family moved to Texas soon after. Bleck,” Naruto said, sticking out his tongue in obvious distaste.

“Not a fan of the Lone Star State?”

Naruto leaned back, giving a wry chuckle.

“Try being a bisexual male in Buttfuck Nowhere, Texas in ‘89.”

“Ah.”

“My family didn’t like it so well either, ends up, but they sucked anyway. I ended up in the group home. I was a lil’ shithead. Too much to handle.”

“Hm, I thought you seemed like a troublemaker,” Sasuke teased.

It was nice to talk to someone who didn’t give him some pathetic or awkward look whenever he mentioned foster care. Sasuke just rolled it off, like he did so many other things. It made Naruto feel comfortable telling him more. Naruto didn’t like being a downer, but this talk didn’t seem to affect Sasuke the way it affected most people. Sasuke seemed so casual, not the slightest bit morose or uncomfortable. And even if he hardly knew the guy, he felt like he wouldn’t judge him.

“I was a terror,” Naruto sighed, sounding almost exasperated with his prior self. “So, I just…  You know, New York City, bright lights, looked pretty cool. I found a cheap train ticket and came out with fifty bucks in cash and a guitar on my eighteenth birthday.”

Naruto was mentally cursing himself for being so long-winded again.

“You came to Manhattan on a whim?” Sasuke asked, arching his one unpierced brow in mild disbelief.

Naruto laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head.

“I wasn’t too bright as a kid.”

“You talk like this has changed.”

Naruto jabbed Sasuke in the arm playfully as he laughed.

“Asshole.”

Naruto knew that he sometimes didn’t understand the full extent of his strength, but Sasuke didn’t so much as budge, glancing back at Naruto in boredom. Sasuke was a lot sturdier than he looked.

They reached the counter, and Sasuke ordered his meal: a hot dog and a soda. Naruto ordered a double cheeseburger, a soda, fries, and frozen custard.

“Are you paying together or separately?”

“Together,” Naruto chimed in before Sasuke had the chance to say anything, reaching for his wallet.

“Naruto…” Sasuke warned, trying to stop him.

“Oh, God forbid I pay for your three dollar hot dog,” Naruto answered with an eye roll. “It’s nothing.”

Sasuke grunted, appearing only partially placated as they waited with their receipt for their order to be called.

“So, are you from Manhattan originally?” Naruto inquired, shifting to his other foot.

“I’ve lived here my entire life, other than six years in Brooklyn.”

“So you are, like…  A totally legit New Yorker. I would’ve expected more of an accent.”

Still, Naruto had heard it a handful of times, when Sasuke spoke certain words. Maybe it was that time in Brooklyn. Sasuke nodded.

“You don’t identify as a New Yorker?”

“Well, I spent most of my life in Seattle, if ya wanna be technical,” Naruto answered with a shrug, yawning. “So Seattle is my hometown, but I guess I’d call myself a New Yorker. I’ve been here almost eight years, after all.”

Naruto felt a little silly for telling Sasuke so much when he knew so little about Sasuke. He tried to think back on everything he’d learned…  He was born and raised in Manhattan, but he worked at a tattoo parlor in Brooklyn from the ages of fifteen to twenty-one. Then he came back to Manhattan to start his own shop at such a young age. He’d faced pressure from his family to pursue what they probably considered a more impressive career. He liked to play the piano, hike, draw, and go to concerts.

Aside from Sasuke’s vocational history and a few of his more superficial interests, Naruto realized that he knew almost nothing about him. Still, what could he expect in such a short time? It wasn’t Sasuke’s fault that Naruto was such an open book, but he wasn’t so in a self-pitying manner. With Sasuke, he just somehow felt at ease to say almost whatever he wanted. He didn’t know why, but he felt like the guy just got him, as different as their backgrounds were.

But he’d learned not to press Sasuke for information. He seemed to be the private sort. A small table was vacated, which Naruto and Sasuke snagged after they offered it to an older man and woman who had been behind them in line. Sasuke’s forearms crossed as his elbows rested on the table.

As Naruto mused, their number was called. Naruto and Sasuke both walked to the front to get it. With an order as large as Naruto’s, there was no way one person could bring that back to the table. They got all of their food set up, Naruto sliding the cheese fries to the middle of the table.

“I got these for us to share.”

Sasuke nodded, placing his napkin down neatly. Naruto grabbed his monstrosity of a burger and took a large bite out of it, dabbing at his face with a napkin. Naruto’s mouth was much larger than it appeared. Sasuke took a neat bite of his hot dog, and Naruto couldn’t help but notice the phallic shape enter Sasuke’s mouth, moving past his thin and pale lips. Naruto bit his tongue, harshly reminding himself not to get carried away.

They were silent for a while as they ate. They had both been hungrier than they’d realized, it seemed. Naruto had been picking at the fries for a while before Sasuke joined him. Sasuke’s pace was beginning to slow; his stomach wasn’t very large.

A middle-aged man standing nearby glanced at Sasuke. He began to stare. Sasuke seemed to catch it out of the corner of his eye but ignored him. Naruto’s brows furrowed, feeling a little bit angry on Sasuke’s behalf. Was it really any of this guy’s business what Sasuke did with his own body?

The man didn’t seem hostile – more just curious. However, as Naruto and Sasuke’s hands bumped over the fries, the man gave Naruto a sneer. The instant Sasuke saw him cast disapproval at Naruto, he pivoted in his chair.

“Hey,” he said in a firm and cold tone, looking the man directly in his eyes. “You got a problem?”

Appearing both uncertain and defiant, the man looked back at Sasuke.

“Keep your eyes to yourself, punk,” Sasuke told him lethally. Naruto was sure Sasuke had been tempted to call the man something much nastier, but they’d both noticed a couple children playing on a nearby bench, well within earshot.

“Fucker,” the man mumbled under his breath, leaving the park with a shake of his head.

It took every portion of Naruto’s willpower not to spring out of that table and deck the guy in the face. He could beat that guy’s scrawny ass into next Tuesday. But that would probably put a damper on his time here with Sasuke, and this asshole certainly was not worth that. Sasuke continued to eat his food, only frustrated for a few seconds before seeming to dismiss it. Naruto’s teeth were still clenched.

“Doesn’t that bug you?” Naruto asked.

“I’m used to it,” Sasuke answered with a shrug.

“That doesn’t make it right.”

“There are very few people whose opinions mean anything to me,” Sasuke explained matter-of-factly. “That random man was not one of them.”

Naruto pouted, crossing his arms.

“But you told him off.”

“Just because I don’t care what he thinks doesn’t mean I can’t stand my ground.”

Naruto sighed.

“Yeah, I guess so. I don’t even know what he was so pissed about.”

Sasuke frowned, glancing off to the side.

“You really don’t get it?”

“Well, I was confused…  He was starin’ at you, then he was starin’ at me.”

Sasuke groaned, resting his face in his hand.

“You can be so oblivious.”

“What?” Naruto asked, raising his arm, demanding clarification. “What did I miss?”

Sasuke let out a long sigh as his shoulders slumped, seeming not to want to answer Naruto’s question.

“Nothing,” Sasuke answered dismissively.

Naruto grumbled, crossing his arms and silently pouting for a few seconds. What was Sasuke getting at? Even though the guy had been obnoxiously invading Sasuke’s privacy from the start, he didn’t actually show any disapproval until…   _Oh._ Until he thought that Naruto and Sasuke were a pair.

They’d made progress, yes, and Manhattan was nothing like rural Texas in ‘89. But even still, nowhere in this country could two men or two women marry. It pissed him off, but he didn’t want to vent at Sasuke about this.

“Hey… Do people really stare at you like that a lot?”

Sasuke shook his head.

“Not too often, and even then it’s usually just a glance,” Sasuke said, taking a sip of his soda. “But it happens.”

They’d both finished their meals. Now Naruto was making his way through his custard as he shared the fries with Sasuke. He could understand someone glancing at Sasuke, but his piercings and tattoos were really not that over the top. His face, neck, and hands were even clear for the most part. Still, it was certainly noticeable.

“I’m sorry,” Naruto muttered quietly.

Sasuke seemed surprised at Naruto’s change in mood for a moment.

“Tch,” he snickered. “You think I give a shit? Let them stare.”

Naruto paused before giving a moment to laughter.

“Man…” Naruto drawled out. “I wish I could be like that. I guess I have it easy compared to you, cuz I only get stared at if I’m holding a guy’s hand or somethin’, and that doesn’t happen often.”

Naruto ate another fry, digging it out of a mound of cheese.

“I bet coming out would’ve been a breeze for you,” Naruto stated as casually as he possibly could.

He didn’t want to force Sasuke into telling him anything or make him uncomfortable. “Are you gay?” would have been far too direct, which even someone as oblivious as Naruto realized, so he waited for the right moment to give Sasuke an easy option to escape.

“It…” Sasuke began.

Naruto forgot to breathe for a while, nervously anticipating Sasuke’s response. Naruto didn’t want to look at Sasuke, but when Sasuke took some time to respond, he couldn’t help but glance at him.

“…Wasn’t what I would call a breeze,” he finished rather vaguely.

Naruto’s eyes widened in shock for a moment. So, Sasuke wasn’t straight after all. But beyond that, he wondered if Sasuke sounded so bitter when referring to his family because they might’ve had a problem with it. It fit the stereotype, at least. Some conservative, well-to-do family throwing a fit about their son’s sexual orientation and his desire to become a tattoo artist…

“You too?”

“Are you really so surprised?” Sasuke asked dryly.

Naruto supposed he shouldn’t be, considering everything that had happened. But he didn’t want to bet on it and fall for a straight guy. That could never end well. Yet even still, just because Sasuke wasn’t straight didn’t mean they were on a date.

“I guess not,” Naruto admitted. “But I guess you understand what it was like then?”

“I think it’s different for everyone,” Sasuke skirted.

Naruto nodded slowly. He had told Sasuke that he’d had to switch families solely because of his sexual orientation. He wondered if Sasuke had a similar situation.

“I think part of my problem is that I have this thing where I want everyone to like me.”

“Strange words, coming from a troublemaker.”

“I think that was a case of sour grapes,” Naruto muttered.

“I figure…” Sasuke spoke, and Naruto listened carefully. “You’re going to piss people off no matter what you do. You might as well make it count.”

“I’ll remember that,” Naruto said with a chuckle. “Make it count. I like that philosophy.”

Sasuke flashed Naruto the slightest smile, and it made Naruto’s breath stop for just a moment. Maybe it was because it didn’t come out very often, or maybe it was just that Naruto was infatuated with Sasuke, as he did readily admit to himself. But something about Sasuke’s smile made Naruto skip a beat. It was funny, Naruto thought. That’s what people had said about _his_ smile, and Sasuke’s smile could not have been more different from his own.

“Hey, Sasuke…” Naruto asked, dragging a fry out another mound of cheese. “What would you think of me with my ears pierced?”

Sasuke paused for a moment, his eyes returning to Naruto’s face for a second.

“I’d like it.”

Sasuke answered, finishing off one of the three remaining fries.

“I was thinking about getting them done…” Naruto said absently, swinging his shins casually under the table. “But I’ve never had a piercing before.”

“God…” Sasuke mumbled, picking at a fry. “That’s hot.”

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke to check if he was joking, which he did not appear to be.

“You’ve got some weird turn-ons, Sasuke,” Naruto said with a laugh.

“It’s just…” Sasuke seemed to have difficulty explaining as Naruto took the second to last fry. “Very rare to come by in my line of work. Almost virginal.”

Naruto found himself slightly flustered, his cheeks going red. Yet he refused to let Sasuke throw him off his game, looking Sasuke straight in the eyes.

“I’m many things, Sasuke, but I’m not virginal.”

Sasuke’s face was expressionless for just a moment until his lips fell into that smirk he’d heard so many times from his chair. Now he got to see the expression that went along with it, Sasuke’s left snakebite inching up as he arrogantly looked back at Naruto.

“Is that so, Naruto?” Sasuke spoke slowly and clearly, each syllable baiting Naruto on.

“What do you think, Sasuke?” Naruto replied, his voice bold and provocative.

“I think I’m a skeptic,” Sasuke said lightly. “I don’t believe things until I see them.”

Naruto didn’t know how much more of this talk he could handle. All of this between the lines shit…  It reminded him of the time Sasuke touched his stomach during their last session, then his neck, then his nipple…  And yet he managed to just barely keep the whole exchange in the realm of the professional. Sasuke probably had no idea what he was doing to him.

“Naruto, if you do get your ears pierced…” Sasuke mumbled. “I want to be the one to do it.”

Naruto was silent for a while, staring at the last fry between the two of them. It seemed that neither of them had wanted to finish it off.

“Alright,” Naruto replied confidently. “Let’s do it.”

“ _Now?_ ” Sasuke asked disbelievingly after a slight lag.

“Tonight,” Naruto grinned back.

For once, Sasuke looked shocked. Shocked, and then pleased.

“I have my keys with me,” Sasuke said calmly, though with that typical smirk. “The shop’s been closed for over an hour.”

This was spontaneous and crazy, and he couldn’t believe he was even talking about this. It was electric, and Naruto felt like it was so strange that he’d found someone around whom all of his smiles were real.

Infatuation, maybe. Naruto knew he tended to get infatuated and easily attached. But maybe he needed a little recklessness these days. Naruto took the last fry, effectively finishing off their meal. He stood, pushing his chair back in.

“Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm, it is getting spicy.
> 
> Also a bit of info - my preferred pronouns are they/them (genderqueer). I love everyone's comments so please don't think I'm frustrated! I hadn't told you yet. :)


	5. Midnight Madness

Naruto was trying not to laugh as the two of them walked towards The Satin Grip. There was an electric excitement about this spontaneous act, the current zipping through his veins. Naruto remembered the first time he sneaked into the movies, at the age of eleven.

He followed Sasuke closely, who clearly knew the route by heart. Naruto’s pulse was racing as they approached the shop, dark from the outside with a metal casing rolled over the door. With practiced ease, Sasuke unlocked and slid up the metal casing, unlocking the door with another key and walking past the threshold.

The shop was pitch black. The blinds were pulled shut. Instinctively, Sasuke reached for the lights, which flickered just momentarily to illuminate the empty parlor. Naruto had been to this place three times now, during opening hours. There was always some sort of music playing loudly, some bantering, and customers running in and out.

But now there was only silence. They kept the blinds shut. As Sasuke approached his chair, each footstep echoed off the walls. It was almost eerie, yet peaceful. It made the shop seem like a different establishment altogether, like a beach at night, Naruto mused.

Sasuke trailed behind Sasuke, taking a seat in the same chair he had occupied so recently. Sasuke slid out a tray of earrings from the cabinet at his workstation. All of this time, Naruto had no idea how much body jewelry was sitting nearby; Sasuke organized things so minimalistically.

Sasuke sifted through them for a moment, offering Naruto the tray.

“Pick.”

Naruto gently pushed Sasuke’s hand, which was still holding the tray, away.

“Nah, I trust your judgment.”

Sasuke smirked.

“Alright.”

Sasuke grabbed one of his felt marker pens and glanced at each one of Naruto’s ears. He was just inches from Naruto’s face, looking directly at him, but Naruto could tell he was merely concentrating on the placement of his piercings. This almost made Naruto feel like he had privacy as he gazed back at Sasuke.

He felt a warmth coming from Sasuke’s breath. Their eyes were level with each other’s, and Naruto glanced at Sasuke’s eyebrow piercing, which had a black spike at either side of his well-manicured brow. From there, he hesitantly looked at Sasuke’s eyes, which seemed both dark and deep, appearing jet black in this lighting. They were difficult to read.

Sasuke uncapped his pen and dabbed it on Naruto’s left earlobe, then his right. He handed Naruto a mirror.

“Yup,” Naruto said simply. “That looks like pierced ears alright.”

Seriously, Naruto was sure that Sasuke could do this with his eyes closed, though Naruto certainly wouldn’t want to be the guinea pig in that situation. Naruto assumed it was only standard procedure to show someone a mirror before piercing them, even for something as simple as this.

Sasuke harshly flicked Naruto in the temple, causing Naruto to jerk back and laugh.

Sasuke walked away with the tray to wash his hands and sterilize the jewelry. He grabbed some tongs out of the autoclave, which was a large white box. Sasuke never showed Naruto the jewelry, and Naruto was pleased about that. He wanted Sasuke to surprise him. Sasuke put on his gloves, once again latex free. The scent of rubbing alcohol announced itself as Sasuke sterilized Naruto’s ears, which again reminded Naruto that yes, this was actually happening.

Sasuke placed the clamp around Naruto’s left ear, slowly making it snug and holding it with his left hand. It was a little uncomfortable, but not painful. Sasuke removed a hollow needle from its packaging, and Naruto couldn’t help but glance at it for a moment. It was thin, though thicker than any injection needle that had ever been used on him. The end came to a razor sharp tip in a V shape. It looked…maybe a little bit unsettling, but he was getting his ears pierced, for God’s sake. Five-year-olds did that.

“Ready?”

Naruto could hardly believe that he was at The Satin Grip alone with Sasuke at nearly midnight, getting his first piercing. He was sitting in the same chair he’d occupied just weeks ago to get tattooed. It was a pretty interesting undertaking for a first date, if he could indeed call this that.

“Go for it,” Naruto said with a grin.

There was a poke and a sting, but the needle was through the thin tissue of Naruto’s earlobe before he even had a chance to prep. The adrenaline was still rushing, however. It wasn’t pain. It was exhilaration. It was spontaneity, something new, and it was Sasuke.

The needle stuck through Naruto’s ear, and Sasuke placed what Naruto could only assume was some sort of jewelry. He slid the needle out as he threaded the jewelry in, placing a clasp behind it. It was done. It felt strange to believe. And Sasuke’s face was still in front of Naruto’s, checking the placement. Sasuke’s features all seemed so meticulously placed, a perfectly even and pale facial complexion. There were only a few piercings on his face: a single barbell in his eyebrow and two very discreet studs marking his snakebites. Sasuke’s eyes seemed to be focused on his ears, however, rather than on him. Naruto’s ear was still stinging, just barely.

“How does it look?” Naruto asked, a little nervously.

Now, Sasuke’s eyes focused on Naruto’s, and they held each other’s stare. Sasuke’s face had been close to Naruto’s already in order to pierce him. Now their faces came closer, their lips no more than a finger’s width apart. Their noses barely avoided touching. They felt each other’s breath, and if one of them shifted even slightly, it might cause their lips to connect. Compared to what Naruto felt at this moment, the adrenaline coursing through his veins for his first piercing was nothing.

Sasuke held himself there as seconds passed, both of them cherishing the heavy tension, the desire each of them had to just move forward. Sasuke seemed to be quite masterful at getting Naruto into this painful yet pleasurable middle ground. Their current position seemed to be a very fitting representation of his relationship with his tattoo artist for the past few weeks. In the end, would Sasuke move away?

Sasuke leaned forward and pressed their mouths together. At the instant of contact, Naruto forgot about the quiet and empty shop for just a while, forgot that Sasuke was his tattoo artist, and just _felt_. Finally, after all of these subtle cues, the ambiguous flirting, getting stuck in that awkward middle ground, it was happening.

He felt exhilaration, recklessness, and lust, so heady it seemed to move his body on its own accord. Naruto opened his mouth, and so did Sasuke. Naruto’s tongue ventured into Sasuke’s mouth first, the tips of their tongue sliding against each other. Naruto could still smell the rubbing alcohol.

Sasuke moved forward and placed his hand on Naruto’s forearm for balance. Naruto’s tongue wandered a little farther back into Sasuke’s mouth, playing with the metal stud on Sasuke’s tongue that he had always been curious about. At that, Sasuke’s tongue entered Naruto’s mouth, their soft and moist muscles rubbing against each other with only a rare brush of metal from Sasuke’s tongue stud every now and again.

Naruto moaned quietly. He didn’t know whether it was his anticipation, his strong attraction to Sasuke, or Sasuke’s skills that made this the best kiss he’d had in years (or ever?). It was probably all of the above. His hormones were already taking over, feeling his groin become warmer. Yet just before he was about to really heat up, Sasuke pulled back. The man always seemed to leave him wanting more.

“Did that answer your question?” Sasuke asked with a smirk.

Despite Sasuke’s cavalier attitude, it seemed like everything between them had changed. Naruto couldn’t have been more pleased.

“I don’t know. I thought it was a little ambiguous,” Naruto said in a tone of mock confusion, grinning as he swung his shins back and forth in the chair. “Mind giving me a recap?”

“Let’s not get carried away,” Sasuke told him, the left corner of his lips rising upward. “We’re only halfway done.”

“Oh, right!” Naruto answered with a soft chuckle. “I forgot about that.”

“Idiot,” Sasuke tsk’d, shaking his head.

He grabbed another needle and ripped it out of the package. Naruto had half a mind to ask Sasuke why he needed to use another needle when it was just for him, but he didn’t want to look stupid. It was probably pretty basic. Sasuke leaned forward again, placing the clamp on Naruto’s right ear.

“Sasuke, while you…”  Naruto slipped his hand under Sasuke’s shirt, feeling the strong definition of his stomach and reaching up to his pecs. It seemed like Naruto wasn’t the only one with a formidable exercise regimen. He felt the slightest sensation of raised skin as he moved over the designs on the right side of Sasuke’s body. If Naruto hadn’t known that Sasuke had tattoos there, he probably would’ve missed it altogether. “Can I touch you here?”

Naruto reached up a little farther, blindly groping over the barbell in Sasuke’s nipple and flattening his palm against the tip, which had begun to harden at the contact just a slight bit. He wondered if Sasuke’s piercings made them more sensitive.

“Yes, you may.”

The clamp tightened on Naruto’s earlobe. Naruto felt against Sasuke’s stomach, his chest, his sides, caressing the strong muscles that spanned there. His abs were just slightly tensed so that he could learn over. He tried to remember what Sasuke looked like with his shirt off the first time he ever saw Sasuke, though Naruto’s view had been poor from where he’d sat.

Even if he couldn’t see Sasuke, he could feel the minute raises in his skin from the ink. As Naruto’s excitement grew, waiting for the needle to pierce his flesh, he touched Sasuke as he pleased, feeling the muscles in his side tense as Sasuke moved closer to Naruto’s ear.

But Sasuke wasn’t distracted. As he guided the needle through Naruto’s ear, Naruto’s hand ceased for just a moment, resting on Sasuke’s side. Sasuke repeated the same procedure again, threading Naruto’s earring through the hole and removing the needle. His right ear now stung and throbbed slightly, along with his left. Despite the fact that it was slightly painful, he enjoyed it.

Sasuke removed his gloves, tossing them in his waste bin before giving Naruto a small mirror. Naruto turned his head slightly to reveal a small black gem on his ear, in the shape of a square. He tilted his head to the opposite side, the same jewelry in the same place. He liked Sasuke’s choice. It was small but not too much so. The black color and square shape made them look more masculine, and it was different from the standard stud.

Looking in the mirror, he felt some tiny echo of the feeling he’d experienced when he saw his back after his first tattoo session. It was that feeling that he couldn’t believe that this was on his body, that he’d finally gone through with it. But unlike the fox on his back, everyone would be able to see this. This wasn’t a particularly daring piercing, but the fact still excited him. He was no longer a virgin, to both the tattoo irons and the needle.

Naruto smiled, placing the mirror down on Sasuke’s table. Sasuke stood in front of him, running his hand through his bangs and tucking a tuft of his blue highlights behind his ear. Naruto watched Sasuke for a moment. He reached outward and grabbed Sasuke’s shirt, jerking his body on top of his.

Naruto spread his legs, allowing Sasuke’s knee to rest on the edge of the chair between them for balance. Sasuke leaned over, kissing him heatedly, and of course Naruto responded with equal ambition. Naruto began to unbutton Sasuke’s shirt, and Sasuke didn’t stop him, tugging at Naruto’s lower lip with his teeth to bait him on.

Naruto’s fingers felt shaky and sweaty as he unbuttoned Sasuke, because God, how many times had he fantasized about this? More and more of Sasuke’s chest showed as he moved down. Once Naruto finished unbuttoning him, Sasuke merely shrugged off the shirt, sliding it off on the ground.

Naruto couldn’t help but hitch a moment. Sasuke’s torso was perfect, the skin completely smooth to the touch and unblemished. He noted that the words “Nemini Cedimus” were arched about a palm’s width down from Sasuke’s collarbone. Sasuke’s collarbone was so pronounced, so elegant, accentuated by the ink along it. Naruto wondered if this was one of his favorite parts of Sasuke’s body.

Tribal designed licked at Sasuke’s right side, a perfect black. His arm was completely covered by the purple snake wrapping around his arm, from his shoulder to his forearm. Space between the snake’s body was filled with Japanese-style chrysanthemums, the color popping against the cool tones of the snake and leaving no trace of Sasuke’s natural skin tone.

Meanwhile, Sasuke tugged up at Naruto’s shirt, sliding it up over his abs. Sasuke couldn’t be the only to flaunt his assets, Naruto thought with a smirk. That wouldn’t be fair.

Naruto crossed his arms and held each corner of the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his head in one motion. Naruto saw lust in Sasuke’s eyes clearly, and Sasuke would have had to be blind not to see the same in Naruto’s. Sasuke’s fingers hungrily trailed over the lines of Naruto’s abdomen as Naruto kissed down Sasuke’s elegant neck, almost all of which was unmarked. Sasuke tilted his head to the side, allowing full access.

This brought their bodies close, chests pressed against each other now, tan on stained ivory. Naruto only noticed the ink begin at the intersection of Sasuke’s neck and shoulder and licked the border. Naruto had never been aroused by body modifications before, at least not to this extent. But Sasuke was changing all of that for him.

Naruto placed his hand on the side of Sasuke’s face and guided his lips back to his own again, kissing him, tugging gently at the small stud on his lip. Sasuke didn’t seem to mind it. Naruto had gone hard quickly, almost embarrassingly so, the evidence brushing against Sasuke’s knee. Sasuke brought his knee a little closer into Naruto’s erection, close enough to grind against but still not too restrictive. Hesitantly, Naruto rotated his hips, grinding his cock against Sasuke’s knee. But he quickly stopped, ashamed that he’d do something so desperate.

“Naruto…”

Sasuke’s hand moved towards the button of Naruto’s jeans, tugging on the waistband in an unspoken request for consent. Naruto nodded, trying not to appear as eager as he actually was. Sasuke quickly unbuttoned him, pulling down his boxers as his cock bounced upward. Sasuke got on his knees, smirking at how hard Naruto had already gotten. Naruto had half a mind to smack the guy upside the head, but this temptation quickly faded as Sasuke licked him, from based to tip, staring up at Naruto challengingly.

Naruto couldn’t help the moan that escaped him. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He was in his tattoo artist’s chair, and Sasuke’s mouth was on his cock, licking it slowly, just like that. Naruto had no idea where this night would lead him, but he could have never anticipated this.

Sasuke’s brows knit as he sighed, seemingly distracted by something.

“Wait here a second,” Sasuke said, and though it was the very last thing Naruto wanted to do, he nodded.

Naruto’s cock hung proudly, though it was a little uncomfortable due to the cool night air. He heard the sound of a metal door opening and shutting, as well as some rummaging. Sasuke came back with a couple condoms, which he put on his desk. Naruto arched a brow in disbelief. Did Sasuke seriously keep condoms at work? Sasuke read his thoughts.

“They’re Suigetsu’s. He said I could use his locker.”

“Oh, that makes me feel _much_ better,” Naruto teased.

“They’re latex free,” Sasuke clarified, as if this again made a world of difference. Well…  To be honest, it _was_ a pretty relevant fact.

He again walked over to Naruto, kneeling between his legs.

“Before I put this on…” Sasuke told Naruto, gesturing to the condom pack he held in his hands.

Sasuke sucked at the head of Naruto’s cock, pumping slightly. Naruto looked down his stomach to see his cock filling Sasuke’s mouth. Just past Sasuke’s face, he had a glance of Sasuke’s shirtless body. That image alone was powerfully arousing, but Naruto had much more to go on than that. Naruto could feel all of the nuances of Sasuke’s mouth, his lips, his tongue…  It took restraint not to buck directly into Sasuke’s mouth.

Sasuke allowed Naruto’s cock to fall from his mouth, holding it up with his right hand as he swirled his tongue around the head, gently pushing his stud against Naruto’s slit. It caused Naruto to claw at the handles of the parlor chair, moaning slightly. Sasuke ripped upon the condom pack and skillfully placed it on Naruto’s erection, rolling it down to the base.

Naruto had come to love the feeling of Sasuke’s mouth against his cock, and already, it was being robbed from him. Yet Naruto couldn’t blame Sasuke. He couldn’t have Naruto soiling the area, and expecting Sasuke to swallow on their first date was a bit much. He could still curse the gods, however, for willing his neediest part into this latex free prison.

But it was more than made up to him as Sasuke took Naruto deep back into his throat, his hand wrapped around the base of Naruto’s cock. Naruto moaned loudly, not bothering to hold back anymore. It seemed that the more Naruto let go, the more Sasuke gave him, as if he were rewarding Naruto for his honesty.

He knew just when to use the jewelry on his tongue. He knew how to bend his tongue as he moved up and down so that Naruto couldn’t even feel it there, which Naruto was glad of. His cock was fully erect, and it was sensitive. Pressing the stud into his shaft as Sasuke pumped probably would’ve caused more discomfort than pleasure. But the way that Sasuke used it on the tip of his cock, just teasing his slit with the small silver ball through the condom, made him nearly unravel.

Naruto’s nails gripped into the black leather of the artist’s chair, and Sasuke took him back deeper than anyone had before. Sasuke slid Naruto’s pants farther down so he had access to Naruto’s balls, speckling his fingers over the crease between them. When Naruto’s abdominals involuntarily flinched at the contact, the lines separating his muscles deepened. Sasuke’s eyes seemed to linger on Naruto’s stomach at this point before returning up to Naruto’s eyes.

He cupped Naruto’s hard and swollen sack, gently rubbing the tissue with his thumb. How he could pump Naruto so fervently while paying such graceful attention to Naruto’s balls, Naruto hadn’t a clue. Naruto felt orgasm approach now, and as badly as he wanted that release, he wanted to revel in this fantasy come true just a little bit longer. Yet what Sasuke was doing with his hand and mouth made that extraordinarily difficult.

“Sasuke…” Naruto panted out. “Can’t last much longer…”

Sasuke picked up the pace, his only free hand scaling up Naruto’s stomach, his sternum, then delivering a small and quick pinch to his nipple. The slight pain sent Naruto over the edge. His body tensed, his ass leaving the chair. He spurted into Sasuke’s mouth with a loud moan, his body coursing with endorphins, blood racing. He couldn’t think. The pleasure was almost too much. Sasuke’s mouth left him as he spurted a second time, and he slowly emptied himself into the condom. As soon as Naruto was done, Sasuke removed it and placed it in the waste bin. Naruto’s limp manhood lay between his legs and Naruto panted and slouched against the chair, his eyes lidded.

Sasuke leaned forward, once again kissing Naruto, slowly now. Naruto responded lethargically, loving the feel of Sasuke’s mouth against his as his body relaxed completely. They touched each other for a while longer, hands running over stomachs and necks. Naruto didn’t know what this was, exactly. Was this a hookup? Or was it more? Perhaps it was too soon to tell. But they waited together, until Naruto’s energy began to return.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said quietly. “I’d like to work on your back.”

“You mean my tattoo?” Naruto asked, a little surprised.

“Yes. Is that alright?”

Naruto paused, honestly a little flattered. He grinned, giving a low chuckle.

“Of course. I’ve eaten, haven’t I?”

Sasuke merely smirked, moving off to the sink to wash his hands and grab a set of gloves. As Sasuke had his back turned, Naruto used some tissues by Sasuke’s desk to clean himself off, putting on his boxers and pants again. When Sasuke came back, Naruto was ready. Sasuke reclined the chair by pressing a lever towards the bottom of it with his foot, and Naruto flipped onto his stomach. Sasuke sterilized the area where he was going to work, getting out his ink and irons. He placed his gloved hand down on Naruto’s back before starting.

“Okay, I’m starting.”

Naruto had his arms crossed on the chair, resting his head on the intersection of his wrists. It had been quite a while since he felt so content. The pain caused by the needle’s boring almost seemed like more of a comfort, something he had so closely begun to relate to Sasuke. Sasuke was still shirtless behind him, and God, that man was a sight to see. Now, if only he could take _all_ of Sasuke’s clothes off.

“It’s awfully late to be working, isn’t it, Sasuke?” Naruto teased.

“This feels more like play than work,” Sasuke said serenely.

Naruto smiled at the compliment, knowing that Sasuke couldn’t see him.

“Have you ever done this before?” Naruto asked curiously.

“Done what?” Sasuke asked guardedly.

Naruto supposed that there were many interpretations of the word “this.”  Naruto felt privileged to even be here. Out of the dozens of customers who came into this shop every day, it was now just him and Sasuke, alone. He sincerely hoped that it wasn’t in Sasuke’s practice to whisk people off in the middle of the night to this place for spontaneous body modifications and sex romps, though Naruto doubted Sasuke would do such a thing. It would make him feel less special, which Naruto felt stupid even admitting to himself.

“Gone here after hours.”

“With staff, a few times. Alone, many times.”

Naruto was relieved to hear that Sasuke had only come here alone, besides a few occasions he’d probably worked on something with members of his staff. Naruto couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he was the first person Sasuke had ever brought in after hours who wasn’t one of his employees. This was an awfully spontaneous move, though, and Sasuke seemed like a pretty level-headed person. Naruto would have been surprised if he did this frequently.

“What do you do here, when you’re alone?”

“I usually just sketch or draw,” Sasuke explained as he took care of some darker shading. “Though sometimes I work on my own tattoos.”

Naruto could very clearly imagine what Sasuke would look like, just a small desk lamp on as he sketched some intricate design in a sketchbook in this peaceful and dark tattoo shop. Maybe this was where Sasuke found his creativity.

“It seems like such a different place like this. Kinda like a beach at night or somethin’.”

He felt like Sasuke was showing him something new just by bringing him here, Sasuke’s own “quiet place” or something of the like. This probably wasn’t such an intimate situation as Naruto thought it was, he told himself. He was being too hopeful.

“Agreed,” Sasuke responded simply.

Naruto wasn’t sure what to add, so he was silent. He was still feeling a little too good from his orgasm to fret too much about the short silence between them. Sasuke kept working.

“Have you ever gone to Coney Island a couple hours before dawn?”

Naruto was a little surprised when Sasuke broke the silence.

“No,” Naruto replied, feeling the sting of the needle gliding up his back. “The latest I’ve ever mulled around there is like ten at night.”

“Ghost town. It’s different entirely, but I prefer it that way.”

Naruto imagined the still Ferris wheel, shops closed with waves crashing against the sand.

“Do you do that a lot?”

Naruto cherished these pieces of information Sasuke gave him about his personal life, however small they were. They came rarely.

“No, it’s too far. I did when I lived in Brooklyn, though.”

Naruto nodded. Somehow, he imagined Sasuke there well.

“Sasuke…”

“Hm?” Sasuke prompted quietly.

“Would you ever want to go to Coney Island with me, when it’s like that?”

Naruto bit his lip. He’d come to admit to himself that this was a date, or a hookup, or whatever he’d want to call it. Asking for a second date was still slightly risky. The buzzing of the needle continued, but Sasuke was silent. Perhaps Sasuke was figuring out how he would reject him.

“I’m sorry,” Naruto said with a nervous laugh. “You can ignore-“

“Sure.”

“Huh?” Naruto asked, hesitant to believe his good luck just yet.

“With my sleeping schedule, it won’t be an issue,” Sasuke said casually. “That is, if you can handle being up past your bedtime.”

“Heh!” Naruto answered, barely restraining himself from making a wild gesture. “I stayed up three nights in a row standing guard for the Marines! Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I forget that I have a tough guy in my chair,” Sasuke said wryly.

“You better believe it,” Naruto beamed back. Really, he was just glad he’d gotten another chance with Sasuke.

Sasuke smirked, and Naruto lay down again, basking in contentment that he’d finally procured a date with Sasuke. They were silent, and for once, this didn’t bother Naruto. He took comfort in the buzzing of the machine’s motor, Sasuke’s strong hands on his back, and the idea of a shirtless Sasuke leaning so close to him. That buzzing began to resemble white noise, his mind focused on that sound as the pain faded to his mind’s background.

Naruto, content, sexed, and relaxed, began to take longer breaths. He could see now how Sasuke could fall asleep during a tattoo session. Especially with their quiet and vacant surroundings, the peacefulness reassured him. He didn’t know what he was developing for Sasuke, be it infatuation, love, or lust. He had felt Sasuke’s strength, both physical and emotional, savoring the moment with half-lidded eyes. Beneath his skilled hands, he felt safe and cared for.


	6. To Life Experiences

“Look what I can do now!”

These were Naruto’s first words to Sasuke that Friday, proudly yanking on his new earrings as he walked towards Sasuke. He’d scheduled this session in advance, so Sasuke was ready for him. They had yet to make any plans for their second date; their schedules hadn’t meshed well over the past week.

Sasuke gave him an exasperated glance, swatting his hand away.

“Did you listen to _anything_ I told you?”

Despite the fact that they had been on a date, Sasuke couldn’t help but deliver his common spiel about piercing aftercare. Anything else would’ve been irresponsible. It seemed that this had simply gone in one ear and out the other.

“Please, it’s only my ears,” Naruto gestured, swatting his hand at Sasuke dismissively. “’Sides, I’m a fast-”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Fast healer. I heard you the first time.”

“Aw, don’t pout, Sasuke,” Naruto grinned. “I’ll be careful with ‘em.”

Suigetsu, who was placing some equipment in the autoclave, laughed.

“I think this guy’s got you down, Sasuke.”

The shop was full today. Juugo was working the front, as Karin was presently in a backroom piercing someone’s navel. Suigetsu was readying his chair for his next customer, whoever that happened to be.

“What the hell is that thing, anyway?” Naruto inquired, distracted by the white metal box sitting on the shelf.

“Autoclave,” Sasuke told him simply, though that explained nothing to Naruto.

“It sterilizes equipment with pressurized steam,” Suigetsu explained. “Shit’s about 120 degrees.”

Naruto tilted his head. That was all?

“Ah… I think in metric. That’s 250 degrees Fahrenheit.”

Naruto took his shirt off as Sasuke reclined the chair. As Naruto lay down, he let out a content sigh which was a little louder than he’d intended. Suigetsu cast Naruto a glance, raising a brow.

“Someone’s come around fast,” Suigetsu teased with a smile.

Sasuke was concentrating on readying his supplies currently, seeming to be counting something in his head.

“Psh. It hardly even hurts.”

“Suigetsu’s first tattoo, he was whining like you wouldn’t believe,” Juugo called back.

“Hey! I just thought the guy was using too heavy of a hand, and it would make the pigment reject.”

“He was,” Sasuke added in. He’d finished his preparations and was now sterilizing Naruto’s back. “I could tell by looking at it.”

Suigetsu seemed quite pleased that Sasuke had come to his defense for once, rather than just making another one of his snide remarks.

“See? Even Sasuke admits it.”

Naruto blinked. You could ruin a tattoo by pushing too hard? There was so much he didn’t know about this sort of thing.

“But it was nothing a touch-up couldn’t fix,” Suigetsu continued, cocking his head over to Sasuke.

“Starting, Naruto,” Sasuke informed him, picking up his irons. Naruto had come to love the pain of the needle. If someone had told him that this would be the case on day one, he would’ve never believed it. Naruto lay there, still and comfortable.

“Learn from eighteen-year-old me’s mistake, Naruto,” Suigetsu started again. “No tattoo is too simple to fuck up.”

“Nah, I’d never go anywhere but here anyway,” Naruto answered, grinning at Suigetsu.

Sasuke didn’t stop working, but Suigetsu smiled, visibly complimented by Naruto’s loyalty. Karin finally came out from her room, sending a satisfied customer on her way. Only a few seconds later, a large man approached Suigetsu with the introduction, “Hey man, I really want a tattoo. Got any sick ideas?”

Sasuke grunted in annoyance, barely loud enough for Naruto to hear. Naruto supposed they were accustomed to those sorts. If he were any other customer, Naruto thought, Sasuke wouldn’t have let on. He just wished he could see Sasuke’s face.

Suigetsu ran through a list of ideas, including stock options like skulls, daggers, and tribal designs. Not knowing the man personally, he didn’t have much to go on. It sounded quite painful, really. Finally, Suigetsu just gave the man his portfolio and told him that he was free to browse. Another client came, a young female in her twenties who was looking for Sasuke.

“Sasuke will be with another customer for the next two hours,” Karin explained in her polite businesslike tone.

The girl thanked Karin and scheduled a time block for the next day. Soon after that, an older man came in with a very small, simple design, which Suigetsu decided to take as that other customer was browsing through his portfolio. Karin turned the volume of the music up, heavy rock blasting over the speakers. This had all occurred over the course of about ten minutes.

When Naruto spoke, only Sasuke could hear him.

“Damn, you guys are busy today.”

“This is pretty standard, actually,” Sasuke responded. “The first time you came, you arrived at a strange hour. The second and third times, you were in a private room. The fourth time…”

Sasuke smirked, and Naruto blushed as he remembered the fourth time. Both of them shirtless in an empty parlor, bodies writhing together. He could hardly believe that this noisy and bustling shop was the same place Sasuke and he had finally crossed the line together, where Sasuke had made Naruto come undone. And it was all in the very same chair he was sitting in now.

Naruto was silent for a while, and he swore it felt like the temperature in the room had increased a few degrees.

“Hey, how many more sessions can I have? I mean…” Naruto corrected himself, stumbling through his words. “How many more sessions until the piece is done?”

“Two big ones or three small ones.”

Naruto frowned. Only three more sessions? Of course, the option to do two sessions never even occurred to him. Sure, fewer sessions was easier on the wallet. However, that also meant that he wouldn’t be seeing Sasuke anymore, at least not in the studio. Still, Naruto had Sasuke’s personal cell phone number, and they’d been on one date. They had vague plans for a second date as well. Maybe that would be enough to stay in touch with him.

“I wish I could get more…”

Fuck, he had _not_ said that out loud. ...Had he?

“Already?” Sasuke asked with a smirk. “You haven’t even finished your first.”

Naruto knew his face was probably turning red.

“Hey, I didn’t say I’d do it!”

“He’s got it baaaad,” Suigetsu chimed in.

Naturally, Naruto wouldn’t share _why_ he’d said what he said. Sure, he’d consider getting something else in the future. But really, he just wanted a reason to see Sasuke.

Naruto just pouted.

“You don’t have to do that to see me, Naruto,” Sasuke said under his breath, too quietly for anyone else to hear.

“Who says that’s what I meant?” Naruto bristled.

“You. You just didn’t say it with your mouth.”

“Pfffft,” Naruto answered, trying not to laugh but failing. “Oh man, take that one out of context.”

Sasuke clucked his tongue, and Naruto could envision Sasuke’s eyes rolling.

“What are you, twelve?”

“Well excuse me for not being such a tightass,” Naruto teased.

“You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?”

Naruto merely grinned back.

The two of them were silent for a while longer. Naruto now felt comfortable this way, the buzzing of the tattoo irons soothing him. He enjoyed feeling Sasuke’s hand on his skin as he worked. Sasuke’s touch in general tended to relax him. That is, when it didn’t excite him to a near frenzy. It always seemed to be one or the other.

About half an hour had passed, with Naruto in silence. The indecisive man who had come in earlier had decided on getting a nautical star, and he was currently waiting for Suigetsu to finish with his current customer. Suigetsu was just about done. Karin was piercing a man’s eyebrow out front. Another person had come in to request Sasuke specifically in the meanwhile. It seemed that Sasuke got a lot of these requests.

“You okay?” Sasuke asked, checking up on him. It was rare for Naruto to be silent for so long.

“Peachy,” Naruto beamed back.

“Tell me if you need anything.”

“I will,” Naruto mumbled just loudly enough for Sasuke to hear. “I’m just…comfortable.”

“Mn,” Sasuke answered, and if Naruto didn’t know better, he heard the inflection of a smile in his voice.

“I guess this is the beach in the daytime, huh?”

“I guess so,” Sasuke answered calmly.

It was a little odd, how they had to pretend that nothing between them had changed. It was only through comments like these, so seemingly innocent but packed with meaning, that they were able to acknowledge reality.

Naruto was content as Sasuke continued. Every now and again, Sasuke would get caught up in banter with Suigetsu. Juugo and Naruto would put in a few lines at Sasuke’s expense as Karin repeatedly jabbed at Suigetsu’s ego. It seemed like almost too soon when Naruto was done. Sasuke gave him another peek before bandaging him up.

The fox’s face was finished completely now, in full detail. Sasuke had captured a certain intensity in it, a ferocity that Naruto adored. It appeared to be simultaneously beautiful and lethal. The lines were perfect, stark, and steady, every detail melding cohesively.

Naruto had told Sasuke, after all, to paint something “fierce” in his back. The back and front legs were done as well, nearly his entire back covered in ink. Naruto smiled, and he was finally able to see Sasuke’s face again. He allowed Sasuke to bandage him up now.

“You’re set,” Sasuke told him.

“I’ll call you to schedule the next session. My schedule’s a little up in the air currently.”

Sasuke began cleaning up his station, quickly putting his supplies away.

“Okay. I’m going to get some lunch. You’re welcome to join me.”

Naruto swallowed hard. Sasuke was inviting him to lunch?

“I’d love to…” Naruto corrected himself. “I mean sure. That’d be fine.”

Sasuke smirked at Naruto for a moment before he spoke again.

“Guys,” he called out. “I’m eating at Grinds. Anyone want anything?”

“Oh, get me a roast beef Panini,” Suigetsu chimed in. “Just take it out of my tips.”

“Same,” Karin added in. “Can you carry a Caesar salad too?”

“It won’t be a problem,” Sasuke answered.

“I’m good, Sasuke,” Juugo said. “Thanks though.”

“I’ll be back in twenty.”

Sasuke walked out of the shop, and Naruto trailed behind him, trying to appear as if he weren’t on Sasuke’s coattails. Did the staff know that Sasuke and Naruto were hanging out outside of work? Sasuke walked out the doors, soon followed by Naruto.

“Man, I am _starving_ ,” Naruto remarked, rubbing his stomach.

Sasuke shot him a quick glance. It might have actually been intimidating if he were anyone else.

“ _Yes_ , I ate before coming,” Naruto sighed with a dramatic eye roll. “This body is a tank. It needs a lot of fuel.”

Naruto was bulky, indeed, though Sasuke and he appeared to be the same height. Naruto liked to think that he was just a hair taller, but he couldn’t tell without knowing their measurements. Sasuke wasn’t exactly scrawny himself; he looked like he could most certainly pull his weight if push came to shove. Yet compared to Naruto, who had to be in top condition for the Marines, Sasuke appeared slightly more modest.

“Not surprising. What do you feed that thing?” Sasuke asked as they walked, a hint of humor in his voice.

“Blonds,” Naruto answered with a deadpan.

Sasuke snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Different each day,” Naruto replied, serious now. “But I usually eat four solid meals minimum, then grazing.”

“Christ…”

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke.

“Hey, what do you do to stay in shape? You might not be as ripped as me,” Naruto said with a cocky grin. “But you’re no joke yourself.”

“I jog for six miles every day before work. Then weight training, chin ups, and pushups for about an hour every evening.”

“No wonder you’re such a sight,” Naruto remarked before he could stop himself. He glanced away for a moment, unsettled.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. You’re telling me nothing I don’t already know.”

“What?!” Naruto squawked as they entered the coffee shop, using plenty of drastic hand gestures. “I wasn’t embarrassed!”

The line was shorter this time, thankfully.

“Of course not,” was all Sasuke was able to get out before they had to place their orders. Sasuke had quite a wide variety of foods to order, including Suigetsu’s Panini, Karin’s salad, and a turkey croissant and coffee for himself. Naruto got himself a sweet caramel cappuccino drink and a chicken Panini. They took a seat together by the tables.

“Sasuke, I really enjoyed our…uh…”

Sasuke perked a brow at him.

“Date?” Naruto asked, his voice sounding a little squeakier than he would have liked.

“Mn,” Sasuke answered, and it was difficult to tell whether he was agreeing with Naruto or just noting the comment.

“So, uh…  I know you’re really busy and all, but…  I mean next Saturday, I’m free, so if maybe you were also free…  I mean not that you _have_ to spend your free time with me. I didn’t mean to come off that way. But…”

Normally, he was much, much better at this. Normally, he had confidence out his ears. He had no problem with this sort of thing. He knew anything worth having wouldn’t just fall into his lap. What was it about Sasuke that made his hands fidget and his tongue fumble?

“Again, huh?” Sasuke asked, tilting his head.

Dammit, why didn’t he try asking Naruto out? Was this some sort of game?

“Shut up!” Naruto said as loudly as he could without bringing attention to them.

Naruto sighed, composing himself.

“I just really wanted to see you again,” Naruto mumbled.

Sasuke was silent, and Naruto was staring at the table. He couldn’t see that Sasuke was watching him, appearing very relaxed.

“That can be arranged.”

Score!

“So, where to?” Naruto answered with a grin.

Their food was all laid out in front of them now, Karin and Suigetsu’s in takeout boxes.

“I’ve already seen your place. Would you like to see mine?”

Sasuke was inviting Naruto to _his_ place? _His_ place?! Naruto tried to ignore the voice in the back of his head chanting “ohmygodohmygodohmygod.”  His luck had just been too good lately.

“Sure.”

“There’s a pretty good grill right next to my apartment complex. It’s called 33.”

“Kinda odd name for a restaurant,” Naruto said, tilting his head. “Any letters in there?”

“No?”

“Sounds trendy.”

“It is somewhat,” Sasuke answered with a shrug.

“It’s not like…super fancy or anything, is it?”

Naruto was mentally going over his wardrobe selection. He had only one pair of slacks, and he wasn’t quite sure where it was. Dressing formally was not his forte.

“No,” Sasuke answered, sipping at his coffee gracefully. Sasuke seemed so polite and refined when he ate. Either it was Sasuke’s upbringing, which Naruto suspected might have been a relatively wealthy one, or just the fact that Sasuke tended to be very graceful in general. “It’s smart casual.”

That would save a lot of hassle, Naruto thought.

“So, we’ll meet there and head to your place?”

“Sounds good. Does Saturday at eight work for you?”

Naruto beamed at Sasuke.

“Saturday at eight is perfect.”

They ate in silence for a couple moments. Naruto felt disappointed when Sasuke finished his croissant.

“I should go,” he remarked.

“Saturday then,” Naruto told him with a smile.

“Later, Naruto.”

* * *

Naruto stared at his reflection in the mirror, pinching the sleeve of his red top. He sighed, rubbing his palm over his face with a dramatic groan. Since he’d trained for the Marines, most of his old shirts didn’t fit anymore. As soon as he tensed his arm muscle, the sleeve started to look rather…ridiculous. He was momentarily reminded of the Hulk. If all else failed, he could always just paint himself green and go to Comic Con.

Perhaps he was being a bit generous there. His body hadn’t changed _that_ much. It was just enough to make any of his form fitting clothes from last year a size too small, and he was too damned poor to buy himself a second wardrobe. He tossed his shirt off and onto the bathroom floor, joining the three other tops he’d tried on. Ridiculous.

As he turned around to go back to his bedroom, the periphery of his vision caught the new tattoo on his back. He tried to twist around for a better view, and he felt a bit silly as he heard his spine crack. And then he felt nervous again, because it only reminded him of who put it there and why he cared so much about his appearance tonight to begin with.

He found a blue button down and glanced at the arms. They seemed wider. This might actually work. It brought out his eyes, which people had always complimented him on. He glanced at the clock, noticing that he had only fifteen minutes left to get to Sasuke’s place. Dammit, he was going to be late! He didn’t have to struggle this time as he put the sleeves on. It actually fit! And hell, it looked good. He stared at the mirror for a moment, flexing his bicep and waggling his eyebrows at himself. What a hunk…  Wait, wasn’t he running late?

Snapping to, Naruto put his dark blue jeans on with a pair of black sneakers. He put his favorite crystal necklace over his head, and then he was ready to go. Grabbing his coat, keys, wallet, and cell phone on the way out, Naruto zipped out the door and quickly pounded down the stairs. He briskly walked over to the subway station. He neared the subway station with a red, circular “3” over the stairways. He quickly waved his transport card over the censor and was lucky enough to jump into a car just before the doors closed, accidentally bumping a middle-aged man’s briefcase in his rush.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Naruto apologized quickly with nervous laughter.

The man grunted but otherwise didn’t acknowledge Naruto. The subway zipped off. Above him, Naruto knew that Central Park flew by as the subway moved south. Of course, all he saw was the dark tunnel around him.

He hadn’t had much time to obsess over Sasuke, given how demanding getting dressed had been. Now all he could do is wait silently to arrive. The subway stopped again, and people streamed out as others shoved their ways in. He glanced at his clock. Dammit, he was going to be late. The subway’s pause seemed inexplicably long. _Go!_

He transferred over to the orange line. He was about ten minutes late when he finally arrived, walking up to the restaurant 33.

The restaurant was cozy and had a large outdoor patio, with heat lamps situated around the tables. The flames were healthy and strong. The tables were wooden, covered by a thick white tablecloth. It seemed like a relatively simple arrangement.

Sasuke was sitting down at one of the tables on the patio, glancing at the cityscape and occasionally sketching on a napkin. A waist-level metal railing separated the two of them. Sasuke wore a maroon-colored leather jacket, neatly pressed dark blue jeans, and a loose, ripped neck black wife-beater.

“Sasuke!” Naruto called. Sasuke lifted his head from his work and gave Naruto a strange look for his entrance. “I’m sorry I’m late!”

“Move around the fence,” Sasuke ordered flatly. Naruto chuckled, swinging around and taking a seat across from Sasuke.

“Sorry…  I just…  Stuff happened, and…uh…” Naruto fidgeted. “The subway shut down, and…”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a shitty liar?” Sasuke interrupted.

“Heh,” Naruto answered, scratching the back of his head. “It’s been implied.”

Sasuke shrugged, glancing at a plane flying overhead. Meanwhile, Naruto began to feel pangs of guilt. He was an honest guy, and he didn’t want Sasuke to think he was a liar. He really had just been put on the spot and flustered.

“I’m sorry I lied, Sasuke.”

“About the subway?” Sasuke asked, sounding just a slight bit disbelieving. Naruto nodded meekly. Sasuke looked a little surprised that Naruto would even care.

“I have confidence that you’ll make it up to me,” Sasuke answered, perusing the menu. Sasuke had gotten an additional menu for Naruto, which sat at his placemat.

“Whatcha drawin’?” Naruto asked, poking his head forward to see Sasuke’s napkin.

It was a hawk, drawn in black ink. Mostly just the outline, though he’d drawn some feathers on the wings. The details were stunning and of professional quality, but that came as no surprise.

“Ah, do you draw wildlife often?”

“It’s something I tried a couple months ago. Thought it'd fill the time.”

“It’s totally awesome,” Naruto answered, grinning widely. “You should keep it up.”

Sasuke shrugged.

“If I have time. I’m working on my German.”

Naruto’s eyes seemed to grow another size, the exaggerated response causing the left corner of Sasuke’s lips to rise.

“Daaamn. Do you know any other languages?”

“I’m fluent in Spanish. A lot of my customers speak it. I know French and German reasonably well. There’s this tattoo convention I frequent in Berlin that’s exposed me to a lot of German artists. They’ll fly over for the Satin Grip.”

Naruto tried not to look too impressed, though… Well, he was. Naruto dropped out of his French class in the ninth grade. Sasuke was a world renowned tattoo artist who people would travel internationally for, and he probably hadn’t even cleared thirty yet. He was learning his fourth language. It made sense that his brother was a doctor. Genius probably ran in the blood.

“Did you do well in school?”

“I did, when I tried a little,” Sasuke answered nonchalantly.

Naruto had never tried, not until meeting his sophomore teacher.

“Let me guess. You got zeroes on all your homework but aced the tests.”

“Yes, until I started ditching class. After that, I only did well in math.”

“Uggggh,” Naruto groaned. “Math.”

A genuine look of disgust took Naruto’s face as he was distracted by that unspeakable evil. Another thought came to mind.

“How could you do math without doing the homework or showing up to class?”

Sasuke put the cap back on his pen.

“You can usually reason your way without being taught up to a certain level.”

“Reason your way into math?” Naruto asked, tilting his head. “You need to learn the formulas.”

“A few. Most of the time, you can find an alternate way to solve the problem or deduce the formulas yourself. They only exist because someone figured them out in the first place.”

“Yes. Very smart people figured them out. That’s crazy…” Naruto answered. “Have you ever had an IQ test?”

Sasuke just shrugged.

“There are specific types of intelligence. They’ve found that there’s a high correlation between intelligence with math, languages, and music. The skills you need for learning math and learning languages are similar.”

“How so?”

“Think about it this way. Both involve understanding abstract concepts: verbs, integers, so forth. You’re not learning about the Civil War or how many chambers the heart has. There are logical patterns and rules behind much of it.”

Sasuke paused for a moment, and Naruto glanced back at Sasuke, carefully listening to his words. Sasuke’s way of looking at this was interesting to Naruto.

“Learning sentence structure isn’t so different from learning a mathematical algorithm. Always flip your equality sign when you divide by a negative value. Always conjugate a verb in a certain way if you’re using the second person. It’s not the same obviously. Languages are less intuitive and have far more exceptions. Still, there’s a lot of crossover.”

Naruto had never heard Sasuke talk so much. He swore he felt a few brain cells fry, but by concentrating on each and every one of Sasuke’s words, he understood what he was talking about.

“Okay. But why are math and music correlated? Because I suck at math, but I like to think I play a pretty mean guitar,” he said, with a fox-like smile.

“Mathematical principles can come up in music theory. It’s complicated to explain. Musical elements like form, tempo, and pitch… They’re tied to the measurement of time and frequencies. You can even use it in your own music. Some composers even use the golden ratio and the Fibonacci sequence in their pieces. I’ve tried it too. It can give you something to work with.”

Naruto’s mouth hung open; he didn’t even bother to hide the “what even _are_ you” look on his face. Jesus… Sasuke could have been anything he put his mind to: a musician, a mathematician, a linguist, an illustrator, and who knew what else. He just so happened to be a tattoo artist, and a damned good one at that. But there was so much more to him. The guy was a mystery.

Sasuke’s eyes began to wander. What the hell did Sasuke see in him, anyway? Wait, dumb question. He was sexy as hell and played guitar like nobody’s business. He was a _Marine_ , dammit. That has to count for something! It was just that Sasuke made him feel so uncharacteristically insecure. Nonetheless, he was glad to be learning more about Sasuke.

“Do you go here a lot?” Naruto asked, tilting his head and disregarding the menu. He didn’t want the conversation to die.

“Every now and again. Location…” Sasuke commented.

“Great,” Naruto grinned. “Have any recommendations?”

“I like their tilapia.”

“Done,” Naruto answered, beaming.

“You don’t even know…” Sasuke arched a brow, glancing at Naruto, who quite apparently didn’t give a damn. He shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Life, Sasuke…” Naruto began, kicking his shins underneath the table. “Is an adventure. It’s so much more entertaining when you don’t know what’s gonna come next.”

“A barista, a Marine…  And now you think you’re a philosopher?”

“And an artist!” Naruto chimed in. “I can make a club sandwich like nobody’s business.”

Their waiter arrived soon, a robust and dark-complexioned man who’d gone half bald. He looked Italian.

“Sasuke, I see you’ve brought us some business,” the man jested, motioning to Naruto with his large hand.

The implication was, of course, that Sasuke generally dined alone. Or, more likely, he just ordered carryout. Whatever the case, the statement didn’t seem to unsettle Sasuke.

“This one should be profitable. He eats like a horse.”

The waiter tilted his head back and laughed deeply.

“Good! To eat well is to live well!” the man said with much flourish, his hands gesticulating.

Naruto laughed with him, and their server did not wait for his laughter to subside before speaking again.

“My name is Gino. Welcome to 33!”

Naruto grinned back, loving the man’s energy and attitude. He clearly had a great personality for his job.

“My name’s Naruto. Great to meet you!”

The man didn’t appear to be accustomed to having his customers issue their names in return, but from the look on his face, he clearly found it to be a pleasant change of pace. He reached forward to shake Naruto’s hand.

“The pleasure’s mine!”

Gino’s handshake was firm and avid.

“Anything to drink?”

“Water,” Sasuke offered without thinking twice.

“What’s good?” Naruto asked.

Gino had a drink menu with him, which he soon offered to Naruto. It wasn’t difficult to read quickly, as there were large pictures of the drinks being advertised.

And then he saw it. A “Russian Mudslide,” as this place called it. It seemed to be an even less healthy version of a White Russian, with Kahlua, melted vanilla ice cream, vodka, and chocolate syrup on top.

“One Russian Mudslide, please!” Naruto chimed in. “And Sasuke, why don’t you get something interesting? It’s on me!”

Sasuke opened his mouth to protest, but Gino spoke over him.

“I know just what Sasuke would like!”

“Great! Keep it comin’!”

Gino laughed and disappeared into the crowd of busy waiters and waitresses, off to get there drinks.

“You’re not paying,” Sasuke grumbled.

“Like hell I’m not!”

“You paid last time.”

“But you pierced my ears last time and worked on my tattoo, and your meal was like three bucks.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto.

“You gave me a guitar lesson.”

“Bullshit. I showed you a few chords.”

Sasuke sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Well, if you insist, I won’t stop you.”

Naruto wondered for a moment if he should feel victorious or not, scrunching his brows.

Sasuke merely shrugged. It seemed like no time at all had passed when Gino came with their drinks, placing them in front of them.

“ _Wow!_ ” Naruto rejoiced, looking at his drink. The cream was heavy on top, with a dark spiral of chocolate syrup breaking up the white. The chocolate syrup slowly turned into a deep caramel color as the bottom of the glass was reached, filled with Kahlua. Gino poured Sasuke a white wine.

“We’re ready to order, Gino,” Sasuke told him.

“Perfect! Sasuke, the usual?”

Sasuke nodded.

“He’ll have the same,” Sasuke stated, pointing at Naruto.

“Comin’ up!” Gino beamed, heading back into the restaurant.

“Man, you get the same food every time? How boring!” Naruto griped.

“Say that after you’ve tried the tilapia,” Sasuke answered, unfazed.

Naruto took a long sip of his Russian Mudslide, swaying his shins underneath the table.

“This is sooo sweet. Wanna try?”

Sasuke shook his head.

“I’m not a fan of dessert.”

“Oh hoh, you think _this_ is a dessert?” Naruto laughed wickedly. “You have no idea.”

Sasuke meanwhile held his wine at an angle, watching the light reflect off of the slightest yellow-green hues and judging its viscosity.

“The hell are you doin? Checkin for dirt or something?”

Sasuke stared at Naruto with a deadpan, regarding him for the moment as a total philistine.

“Don’t you know anything about wine?”

Naruto shrugged.

“Nah, I’m more of a beer fan.”

“Please tell me you’re not chugging 211s,” Sasuke spoke with a hint of tiredness to his voice.

Naruto laughed, flipping his hand and shaking his head. 211 Steel Reserves were good for getting smashed very quickly and cheaply. The only downside was that they tasted like piss.

“Nah, I have better taste than that. But on my budget, I’m more of a Budweiser guy. If I get the chance, I’ll take a nice Scotch Ale. I got it in the blood!”

“Oh?”

“Yup! My biological mom was half Scottish and half Irish. But my dad was half German and half northern Italian.”

“I see,” Sasuke answered idly, regarding Naruto subtly.

“What about you, Sasuke?”

“I’m a quarter Japanese, from my mother…” Sasuke began. Naruto watched him closely, pleasantly surprised to be learning something new about Sasuke. “Other than that, I’m just vaguely European. A little Russian.”

“You’re part Japanese? I couldn’t even tell!”

“Thanks?”

“I didn’t mean it that way!” Naruto fumbled. “It’s just...your skin is so pale.It must’ve been northern Europe, right? Then you got your black hair from your mom, and your eyes are round.”

It hadn’t taken Sasuke long to figure out that Naruto had very little filter.

“Probably because I’m three quarters European, dumbass.”

“Do you know wherein?”

“No idea,” Sasuke said gruffly.

Naruto pouted at Sasuke’s tone, wondering what had gotten him so bristly.

“But aren’t you curious?”

“No.”

Naruto looked at Sasuke quizzically, wondering if he was really being honest. He seemed tense. Naruto hadn’t seen Sasuke speak like this before, so he thought it was best to change the subject.

“Anyhow, the Scot in me is fiending, now that we’ve had this conversation.”

Sasuke’s body language changed quickly, appearing perfectly normal again.

“They have some solid Scotch ales on tap here.”

Naruto’s eyes widened, leaning into the table to whisper to Sasuke.

“Do you think they have Backwoods Bastard?”

Sasuke shrugged. It was a rather uncommon specialty beer, even stronger than 211.

“You might as well ask.”

Sasuke sniffed as he swirled the wine, taking in the aroma deeply. He knew a good Vermentino when he smelled one. Naruto sipped at his sweet concoction again, staring at Sasuke as he took his first sip.

“Dude, you’re such a snob.”

“I’m discerning,” he corrected.

“Does everything have to be top notch to you?” Naruto sighed.

“Well,” Sasuke answered in a mocking tone of voice. “You’re here, aren’t you?”

For just a moment, Naruto felt himself blush. He then slammed down his drink and let out a deep belly laugh, causing a couple heads to turn. Sasuke snickered quietly.

“Smooooth.”

“I know.”

“Smooth as a salamander.”

Sasuke tilted his head, his brow perked upwards.

“What the hell?”

“What?” Naruto gestured defensively. “They’re so smooth and slippery! Haven’t you ever held a salamander?”

Sasuke looked no less confused.

“No.”

“You’ve never held a salamander?!” Naruto interrupted.

“They’re not exactly common in Manhattan, if you haven’t noticed.”

“But that’s like…  A life experience!”

Sasuke took another sip of his wine, and subconsciously following his cue, Naruto had another gulp of his mudslide.

“I can do without this particular life experience.”

“No,” Naruto corrected. “Holding a salamander is something you need to do in your life. This is a _mandatory_ life experience!”

Sasuke arched a brow, appearing skeptical, exasperated, and maybe a bit amused.

“I’ve never heard anyone talk so adamantly about salamanders before.”

“Okay, that does it…” Naruto started. “I’m going to follow through on this one. I’ve gotta get you trying new things and…”

“I’ll gladly try all sorts of new things with you, Naruto,” Sasuke said huskily.

Naruto choked on his drink, pounding his fist into his chest to clear his airways. Sasuke shot him a wicked little half smile. Dammit, it was like he was putty in Sasuke’s hand.

“You _know_ what I mean,” Naruto emphasized. “I’ve decided that you’re going to hold a salamander. I’m going to make this happen. I promise you.”

“You are really weird, you know that?” Sasuke told him, but it didn’t sound like an insult coming from him.

“No, seriously. You need to stop and smell the roses, in a broader sense.”

“Are you philosophizing, or are you lecturing me?”

Naruto gave an exaggerated sigh.

“First you dodge the guitar just because you didn’t magically already know how to play it. You only eat the tilapia. You want nothing to do with salamanders. Regrets, dude… Nobody lives forever. Sometimes in life, you just gotta pet the figurative salamander.”

Sasuke raised his eyebrows, looking at Naruto as if to ask, “Really? This is your advice?”

“But you know, at the _very_ least, you are learning the guitar.”

“Debatable,” Sasuke grunted.

“You _are_ learning! You’re moving so quickly!”

Sasuke shrugged. It was becoming clear that Sasuke expected nothing short of perfection out of himself. With a mind like his, it was no wonder.

And finally Gino returned, placing their dishes in front of them. The tilapia was crusted with panko bread crumbs with a side of vegetables, steaming hot.

“Hey, Gino…” Naruto beamed. “Sasuke was telling me you had some great Scotch ales on tap, and I just thought I’d ask…  Do you have any Backwoods Bastard?”

Gino laughed.

“We have all of the Backwoods Bastard you can drink!”

“Sweet!” Naruto answered, notably excited. “I’ll take two!”

“Right. Enjoy!”

“Two?” Sasuke asked, eyeing his wine and Naruto’s mudslide. “But we haven’t even finished our drinks yet-”

And then a loud slurping sound issued as Naruto finished his mudslide.

“You were saying?” Naruto answered, waggling his eyebrows.

“I hope you can handle your alcohol.”

Sasuke took another modest sip of his wine, savoring the flavor before taking a bite of tilapia. Naruto followed suit.

“Wow…” Naruto mused. “It tastes so healthy.”

Naruto paused, chewing, concentrating. A meal is meant to be enjoyed. There was the slightest buttery taste to the panko crumbs, perfectly accenting the hot fish, which was assumedly very fresh. It didn’t have the slightest fishy taste.

“But good healthy!”

“You strike me as someone who eats a lot of junk food.”

Naruto laughed nervously, scratching his cheek.

“Well, I can’t deny my hot and steamy love affair with Cheetos. But I do work out a lot!”

Sasuke took his own first bite, steam wafting upward. It had been a while since he’d last eaten there. He complemented it with another sip of wine.

They were quiet a while longer.

“So, Sasuke…” Naruto began. He wanted to ask Sasuke a question to get the conversation moving, but just now he realized he had nothing in mind. Sasuke looked like he was waiting.

“Like… Do you go to restaurants a lot?”

A server returned to give Naruto their beers. Sasuke was almost finished with his wine, taking another leisurely sip.

“I cook.”

“Ooooh!” Naruto answered, glad to have something to go on.

“What do you cook?”

“Food,” he answered dryly.

“Who taught you?”

“Self-taught.”

“I cook too,” Naruto answered. “But Sakura says my food is unhealthy.”

He found himself frowning as he thought about her, standing in front of him with her hand on her hip saying, “Stop using so much butter.”

“Friend of yours?”

“Yeah,” Naruto answered smiling. “An old friend. We met each other back when I lived in Texas. Then we ended up running into each other again in boot camp. How crazy is that?”

He tried to keep his memories of Sakura down to that. Tonight was the highlight of his week, so he’d keep his mood out of the gutter. He waited for Sasuke to finish his wine and glance over at the beer. It was dark, especially for a Scotch ale. Even darker than cola.

“Hey, Sasuke…” Naruto said, holding his glass out. “To life experiences.”

“To life experiences,” Sasuke replied, tapping his glass against Naruto’s.

Both of them took a hearty swig of beer..

“Mmmm, oh man, it’s been awhile since I’ve had this on tap.”

“Not bad.”

It was malty, but it had the faintest hint of caramel and vanilla. He could taste the bourbon. Naruto cast Sasuke a fox-like grin.

“This has gotta be my favorite beer.”

“I don’t normally like sweeter alcohol, but this is good.”

Naruto lit up, the praise visibly inflating his ego.

They finished their beers. And then both of them decided to have seconds. And at that point, having thirds seemed like a better idea.

There was a dark flush on Naruto’s cheeks, and Sasuke’s had assumed a slightly pinkish color. The two of them both felt rather hot, their bellies full from the tilapia.

“Hey, hey, Sasuke…”

At this point, Naruto certainly wasn’t drunk. Well… Maybe. He was buzzed, Naruto decided. Moderately to heavily buzzed.

“Hm?”

“This place is seriously the bomb diggity. I can’t believe you live next door!”

“The bomb diggity?”

“Hey, I’m an ‘80s child.”

“And I’m not?” Sasuke asked, looking a little offended.

“Total ‘70s child.”

It was obvious that Sasuke didn’t like the implication there. He wasn’t _that_ much older than Naruto. Though he supposed it was borderline.

“Fuck you. ‘80s.”

“But you totally seem like you’d be the one kid on the block playing Atari.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, taking another gulp of beer.

“I was an equal opportunity gamer.”

Naruto pouted, tilting his face.

“Past tense?”

“Yes.”

“Oh…  Oh shit,” Naruto said, resting his chin on his hand and staring down at Sasuke with squinted eyes. “That just might be a deal breaker there.”

“Take it or leave it,” Sasuke shrugged, glancing at Naruto.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Naruto stated, distancing himself from the table. “You just need time. You’ll see the error in your ways.”

“Delusional.”

“Tightass.”

Sasuke raised both brows, sinking his head down as if to ask, “Really?”

Naruto chuckled loudly, rubbing his stomach.

“Hey, you can’t fault me for being observant. Those blue jeans…”

“What about my jeans?” Sasuke asked, playing oblivious.

“It’s cruel and unusual punishment. That’s what it is!”

Sasuke snickered, shaking his head.

“The place is getting busy. We should leave.”

They’d been at their table for over an hour now, and there was quite a long line of people waiting for a table.

“Yup!” Naruto answered.

He signaled Gino to ask for the bill, and he was quickly with them again.

“I hope you enjoyed your meal. Hey, Sasuke, you should bring me more business like this guy,” Gino smiled.

“Don’t push it, Gino,” Sasuke answered lightly.

“Hah! Sasuke, you never change.”

Naruto smiled as he watched the exchange, feeling almost as if he were being exposed to another part of Sasuke’s life. Had he gone to this restaurant even before he moved back to Manhattan from Brooklyn?

“Good night,” Gino smiled, leaving them with the bill. Naruto plunked several twenties from his wallet into the bill. Naruto wasn’t good with math, but he did know he’d left Gino a pretty hefty tip, whatever the case.

“This is to get you back for what you did for me in the shop last time.”

“I’m getting you back.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Much to Naruto’s surprise, he felt a light wave of dizziness hit him as he stood. He didn’t know whether he was buzzed or drunk at this point, his hip gently tapping the table. Sasuke followed him, and they traversed the whole thirty feet it took to enter Sasuke’s apartment building. Sasuke walked over to the elevator, pushing the button to the 42nd floor. The elevator shot up, and Naruto felt the pressure build up in his ears. He swallowed, popping them.

“Holy shit, S’suke, do you live in the stratosphere?”

Sasuke smiled, notably buzzed.

“It’s high enough to get away from the city when I want to.”

“Kinda strange, coming from someone raised here,” Naruto answered with a grin.

“Manhattan may be my hometown, but I don’t pass up silence if I have a choice.”

Naruto felt content, sitting in the elevator on the way to Sasuke’s home. He was glad that Sasuke had drunk so much with him, though he felt a little guilty for feeling that way. But in this state, Naruto felt like he was learning so much about Sasuke.

The elevator dinged.

They walked through a long corridor, maroon carpet with cream-colored walls. It was classy. Opening the modest, black door of Sasuke’s apartment, they entered.

Naruto couldn’t help but hitch at the doorway. The first room he saw was the living room. Huge windows took up the side of the room facing the city lights, floor to ceiling. It was modern and sleek, with the predominant colors being black and white, with a cinnamon-colored hardwood floor. A large TV was mounted on a wall, and a small table sat by the window. Toward the other side of the room was a grand piano, then a bar which led into a kitchenette.

“This place is beautiful,” Naruto almost purred. He looked the windows to see a patio, a gorgeous city view sprawled in front of it. The lights were so bright. In Manhattan? This must have cost a fortune. It made him feel a little nervous, even.

“Mn.”

“Shit, you shoulda told me you had such a sweet crib!”

Naruto was embarrassed for how simple and humble his own home back in Harlem was. He wasn’t exactly in a great area. But Sasuke was in the heart of the city, in the middle of trendy restaurants and shops. Given his shop’s reputation, it wasn’t surprising that he made a lot of money.

Naruto plunked into Sasuke’s black leather couch, his body sinking into it. He felt like he was floating away.

“So… Fucking… Comfortable…”

Sasuke was locking his house up, placing the key near the door.

“Where the heck did you _buy_ this thing?”

“Pottery Barn.”

Naruto tried not to laugh.

“Pottery Barn?”

Sasuke merely shrugged.

“Hell though, I can’t blame you… This is one comfortable sofa. I mean shit…”

Naruto bounced up and down on it, turning to the side.

“It’s like… If I had a house in heaven, this would be my sofa. I _love_ your sofa.”

“Thank you for your kind words. How will I ever be able to repay you?” Sasuke asked in monotone.

“By sitting with me on this sofa!”

Sasuke walked forward to Naruto, navigating carefully around the coffee table. Naruto tugged Sasuke forward, and much to Naruto’s surprise, Sasuke lost footing and fell directly onto him with a clumsy _plunk_. Sasuke coughed, feeling the wind knocked out of him.

“Holy shit! You’re drunk!”

“I’m not drunk,” Sasuke snapped at him.

Sasuke sought to right himself, but Naruto quickly pulled Sasuke into his body, his inhibitions dulled. Sasuke didn’t move away.

“You so are! You’re a sober drunk!”

“What are you talking about?” Sasuke grunted.

“You’re not denying it!”

“I already told you I’m not drunk.”

Naruto chuckled.

“Lies, lies, lies. Hey Sasuke, how many fingers am I holding up?”

Naruto held three fingers in front of Sasuke’s face.

“A full ménage à trois. Now would you like to try?” Sasuke answered, shamelessly shoving his middle finger in front of Naruto’s face.

“Yeah…  Fuck you too,” Naruto answered. He pulled Sasuke against him and noticed now that Sasuke’s eyes were just slightly lidded, one strand of blue hair stuck to his lips from when he had slouched against Naruto. Naruto tucked it behind Sasuke’s ear. He felt a strong and quick urge to kiss Sasuke’s lips, but he decided against it.

“You know what we should do?” Naruto asked in a husky voice.

“Hm?”

“We should get really, really, really drunk.”

“That sounds like a horrible idea.”

“Hey, why not? C’mon, stop being such a tightass. Cut loose.”

“I just might be drunk enough to give it a shot,” Sasuke admitted.

“Hell yeah! Let’s hit up the liquor store!”

“What’re you looking to buy?”

“Hmm…” Naruto paused, thinking for a bit. “Rum?”

“Got you covered.”

“Kahlua?”

“Mhm.”

“…Tequila?”

“Yup.”

Naruto paused for a moment, glancing at Sasuke suspiciously.

“Wait a second, are you an alcoholic?”

That would explain everything! Sasuke’s ability to look sober while drunk, his high tolerance, his stocked liquor cabinet…  Sasuke deadpanned.

“Naruto, I use rum and Kahlua to _cook_.”

“Oh, but the tequila?” Naruto answered, waggling his brows.

Sasuke merely shrugged with a wry smile, much to Naruto’s amusement. This was going to be an interesting night. Naruto couldn’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aah ha, the best is yet to come.
> 
> And by the way, Russian Mudslide is my own twist on a White Russian. 1 part Kahlua, 2 parts vodka, 1 part whole milk, 1 part melted vanilla ice cream, topped with U Bet chocolate syrup (my fav but any works) and all on the rocks. Try it; it's good.


	7. Falling Deeper

With that sentiment, Sasuke walked over to the liquor cabinet, displaying a rather impressive selection.

“I just want a vodka and Sprite,” Sasuke said gruffly, grabbing the vodka.

“Yeah, just a rum and Coke for me,” Naruto grinned.

And they chased their first one down quickly enough. Then their second.

“Feelin’ drunk yet, S’suke?” Naruto asked, bobbing his head sassily at Sasuke.

“How did we ever decide to do this?” Sasuke snickered, leaning back against the sofa. He paused, “You’re right. This is one fucking comfortable sofa.”

“I know, huh?” Naruto said, flopping around a bit. “Gotta wiggle into it. It’s like leather tendrils softly massaging…”

“That wreaks a little too much of tentacle porn for my taste.”

Naruto distanced himself, scrunching up his face at Sasuke while laughing.

“Ew! No! The fuck’s wrong with you?”

“You’re talking about _massaging tendrils_.”

Naruto laughed hard at the connection.

“I did say that, didn’t I?”

“You did.”

“Oi, that piano…”

“Hm?” Sasuke asked.

“Betcha can’t play it hammered.”

Sasuke shot Naruto a look as if he were a toddler who’d mispronounced a long word.

“Naruto, I’ve been playing the piano since before you could read.”

“Wait a sec…  How old _were_ you?”

“Four,” Sasuke admitted.

“You couldn’t read either!”

“Bullshit. I read just fine at four.”

“Of course, I should have known,” Naruto sighed. “You some sorta genius?”

Naruto asked this despite being fairly confident that yes, he was.

“Something like that,” Sasuke answered snidely.

“Alright, _genius_. Then play the fucking piano.”

“Gladly.”

Sasuke stood now, slowly and deliberately walking up to the piano. Even now, Sasuke seemed graceful, though Naruto was sure that he had taken his time so as not to stumble. He pulled out the bench and sat on it, slowly pulling back the lid and just barely smiling as he looked down at the polished white and black keys.

“What do you want me to play?” Sasuke asked.

“Your favorite song,” Naruto baited, grinning.

“Boring,” Sasuke sighed. “Give me a challenge.”

“Huh?”

“Pick a song.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Any song.”

“You fuckin’ kidding me?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?”

Naruto wouldn’t have pegged Sasuke for this. He seemed so…calculated. But he was taking challenges he could never beat while saving face. Naruto couldn’t say he blamed Sasuke, though. When Naruto was intoxicated, there really wasn’t much of a limit on what he’d do for a dare.

“Sasuke…  I’ve officially upgraded you from sober drunk to reckless drunk. You’re the one that skateboards down the stairs and ends up in the ER, aren’t you?”

“Pick a fucking song.”

“Hm, okay…  How about…”

He wasn’t going to go easy on Sasuke. Naruto wouldn’t play that way; he’d call him on his shit.

“Voodoo Chile,” he spoke, with a grin.

Sasuke paused for a moment, barely restraining from swearing. Of _course_ it had to be Voodoo Chile. Naruto knew that Sasuke liked it, and Sasuke had heard Naruto absolutely nail it on the guitar. There was no excuse for Sasuke not knowing it, and his competition was rough. This was the ultimate challenge.

“Alright,” Sasuke answered, and Naruto was almost shocked that Sasuke had accepted his dare. “But give me a minute.”

Naruto wondered if he’d been too rough on Sasuke. After all, Voodoo Chile was written for the _guitar_ , not the piano. There were effects that would be impossible to replicate on a piano. And Sasuke might have never even played this song. He had to do it by ear. Let alone the fact that Sasuke was undeniably drunk. With all of that taken into account, even if Sasuke could only bring out a weak imitation, Naruto would be impressed.

Sasuke stared down at the keys, and Naruto could sense the gears turning in Sasuke’s head from where he sat. But he was silent. He knew Sasuke needed time to concentrate. Tentatively, Sasuke reached forward and placed his hands on the keys, one hand on a low octave and the other near the middle of the piano. Sasuke waited, and Naruto watched him in suspense.

Appearing to make a decision, Sasuke laid down a simple cord on the lower keys and waited. And then he launched in, the lower chord dancing to a syncopated rhythm. His right hand began to stray, fingers lazily reaching over each other as his hand climbed up and down several octaves. Yet they hit the keys so cleanly.

That strange guitar rift…  Sasuke had actually figured out how to make it come from a piano, though it definitely had a hint of Sasuke’s own style. He made it look so damned easy, but Naruto could hardly even keep track of Sasuke’s fingers.

He knew right then that he wouldn’t be laughing at Sasuke. He was silent, unintentionally holding his breath, waiting to see how Sasuke would handle his beloved song.

As his right hand scaled up and down the piano, his fingers appeared almost haphazard, but they nailed their appropriate chords perfectly. The sound was nothing other than clean and full, and the music had heart and feeling that always seemed to be lacking in Sasuke’s distant demeanor.

Sasuke started the first hook, and he played it simply, slowly. It was so simple that even Naruto could have played it, with a lightly jazzy tone.

A second of silence.

He repeated it, throwing chords in, shredding the keys as his fingers blurred and his hands effortlessly jumped up and down the keys. Now Naruto could understand Sasuke’s reaction when he’d played that muffled F cord. If he was used to producing things like _this_ , no wonder he’d been so critical of himself.

Naruto’s jaw hung open as Sasuke added complexity to the song, seeming to learn as he went. His back arched as he brought his arms up, hitting the keys hard. The syncopated rhythm was no doubt difficult to maintain and had a strong blues influence.

Sasuke had put his own spin on the song, definitely, but Naruto didn’t think it was possible to adapt the song to the piano without modifying the style. The skill he put into it, his concentration, the way he seemed to be using his whole body, muscles tensed and moving, fingers limber... Naruto held his legs closely together. And just like that, Sasuke was done.

“Ho. Ly. Shit,” Naruto muttered, awestruck. “Do you play this well when you’re sober, too?”

Sasuke smirked.

“Stick around, and you’ll find out.”

“I mean holy shit! Did you seriously just pull that out of your ass?”

“I’m familiar with the song and relied on basic blues rhythm and chord formation. Keeping the instrumentals for the song in mind and given my comfort with blues piano, I thought it would be the best option. Of course, some of it was learning on the fly.”

“I don’t care if you consulted a fucking shaman and sold your soul. That was insane!”

Naruto actually felt a little jealous. How long had it taken him to learn how to play that song on the guitar, the actual instrument it was _written_ for? And Sasuke just up and takes it to the piano. There was no way around it. He had to be a musical prodigy.

“Who taught you?”

Sasuke smiled lightly.

“My mom.”

“She must be amazing!”

“A prodigy. As a teenager in Japan, she played professionally.”

“You channeled your inner Asian,” Naruto stated, his voice steady.

Sasuke smirked, rolling his eyes.

“Dumbass, would you say that to a Russian? Russia is part of Asia too.”

“It’s like a fucking summoning. There’s a white light going down from the sky, and you hear the Japanese national anthem playing in the background, and then you power up and it’s just…  POW. ASIAN LEVEL!”

“Shut up, Naruto,” Sasuke answered, but he was chuckling under his breath. “You’re drunk.”

“It’s as told by prophecy,” Naruto answered sagely.

“Or stereotype.”

“Hey. Stereotypes can have a basis in reality.”

“I wonder about that,” Sasuke murmured lasciviously. “I thought Scots and Germans could handle their liquor.”

“Oh, you dickass!” Naruto shouted, laughing. “You’re just as drunk! You just don’t act it!”

“Keep telling yourself that. Damn, I hadn’t pegged you for a lightweight.”

“Fuck you, Sasuke!” Naruto shouted, flipping Sasuke off. He sat next to Sasuke, on the bench, kissing Sasuke’s cheek and tickling his stomach. Sasuke wasn’t ticklish? What a shame.

Sasuke ruffled Naruto’s hair, and Naruto leaned his head against Sasuke’s hand.

“Hey, Sasuke…”

“Hm?”

“Can you play me your favorite song?”

Sasuke smiled softly, Naruto slumping against Sasuke’s body. Sasuke started a steady cadence. He was playing Chopin’s nocturne, Opera 9, Number 2. Compared to what Sasuke had played earlier, it seemed simple, but it was beautiful. Though in all honesty, Naruto couldn’t ever consider this song easy.

But Sasuke’s volume and speed, the way his music seemed to ebb and flow like the beach’s tide, brought out Sasuke’s artistry. It made the sounds Sasuke was producing almost tangible, as if Naruto could reach out and feel the salty water’s flow. He looked at the keys fondly as he played, and Naruto knew that this had to be Sasuke’s favorite song for a damned good reason. He appeared to be remembering something.

“You really do love this song…” Naruto said quietly.

After what Naruto had seen earlier, he knew that Sasuke was not playing the most impressive song at his disposal. It told Naruto that Sasuke was giving him an honest answer, and Naruto felt privileged. He wondered if Sasuke would have been so open while sober.

“Mn,” Sasuke nodded, his hands still in motion. “Could play it with my eyes closed.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Sasuke said calmly.

Naruto got out from behind the bench, slowly walking around to Sasuke’s back. He kissed the back of Sasuke’s head, slowly moving his hand in front of Sasuke’s eyes. Sasuke paused, for a moment confused.

“Play,” Naruto said, his voice both warm and a little challenging.

Sasuke smirked, dragging his fingers over the keys to get his bearings again. He set his hands back down and played, his fingers knowing their way from so many times, through leaps and all. In that moment, Sasuke looked beautiful, passionate, and even happy.

He felt Sasuke’s eyebrows and nose against his hand, the slight metal of his eyebrow piercing brushing his palm. He could feel him knit his brows when he sped up his playing. He was beautiful, lean and muscular arms so calmly and expertly making their ways around the keys. When he hit a particularly long chord, Naruto saw Sasuke’s muscles shift in his forearm. Naruto watched him, nervously approaching.

Naruto leaned forward, slowly, and kissed Sasuke. His vision still obscured by Naruto’s hand, Sasuke silenced the music. He kissed Naruto back, more hungrily now, the taste of alcohol between them. Still blinded, Sasuke scaled his hand up Naruto’s neck and cupped his hand against Naruto’s cheek, guiding him into his kiss, his tongue boldly requesting entrance.

Sasuke jerked Naruto closer to him, causing Naruto to rest his knee on the piano bench and uncover Sasuke’s eyes. For many hours, he’d heard the sound of Sasuke’s voice, felt Sasuke’s arm against him, and smelled that light clean aroma that was Sasuke’s own. But he had not often seen his face.

Now he had seen Sasuke’s face when he played the piano, his face when he kissed Naruto, his face when he was drunk, his face when he laughed… And his face now, eyes lidded with lust as he stared Naruto down.

The instant Naruto’s hands found the bottom of Sasuke’s shirt, Sasuke returned the favor. Once they removed each other’s shirts, Sasuke took control of the situation, pulling Naruto in by the waistband of his jeans. Naruto was now seated on the bench, with Sasuke leaning over him as he rested on his knee.

He remembered the time he had visited Sasuke’s parlor at midnight, bodies writhing together, Sasuke’s sinful mouth encompassing Naruto’s cock. He held his palm to Sasuke’s groin, feeling the warmth here. Sasuke instinctively reached out for the piano to brace himself, resting his hand where sheet music ordinarily would have sat.

Both of them were drunk, with even Sasuke’s cheeks showing the slightest rosiness. Naruto saw, so minutely, Sasuke’s jaw move as he clenched his teeth. Naruto gave it another kneading rub, and Sasuke ran his large hand through Naruto’s hair. The back of his hand trailed down Naruto’s ear, just barely brushing against the earring that Sasuke had put there last week.

Now, he felt resistance… Sasuke was getting hard. Hard for him. Even that realization made Naruto’s blood run south. It felt like the greatest compliment, like a privilege.

Just as Sasuke had done for Naruto when they first messed around, Naruto tugged on Sasuke’s waistband in a silent request. Yet he was not as gentle as Sasuke had been. He’d never seen Sasuke before, and he craved it.

Sasuke jerked Naruto’s head upwards by his hair and gave him a rough kiss, their tongues lashing together as Sasuke guided Naruto’s hand down to the button of his blue jeans. Sasuke bit Naruto’s lower lip and tugged as Naruto unbuttoned Sasuke’s jeans and slid down his black briefs. As Sasuke’s cock sprung free, hanging half mast, Naruto’s hardening erection felt that much more restrained.

Still unable to cast his eyes down, Naruto reached down with eager fingers, taking the shaft of Sasuke’s cock into his hand. As he ran his hand down the shaft, he felt three small and unassuming barbells piercing Sasuke’s frenum on the underside of his cock. They were stacked side by side, parallel to each other but perpendicular to Sasuke’s shaft, and the barbell likely only a bit thicker than Sasuke’s eyebrow piercing.

Naruto unintentionally moaned into their kiss at the sensation of metal fused in Sasuke’s most erotic flesh. Naruto hadn’t meant to do that… He knew he was blushing. This caused Sasuke to smirk in that arrogant way he had and bite Naruto’s lip harshly, pulling outward.

He scaled his hand down over a couple inches of unpierced shaft to hold the head of Sasuke’s cock, now feeling a thick metal stud at Sasuke’s urethra, as well as another on the upperside of his glans. He hadn’t expected that. Waves of lust swept over him as he responded by biting Sasuke’s lip just as harshly as he had bitten his own, pulling out.

And Sasuke… He was _big_.

The piercing fit perfectly; no barbell must have been showing, as the studs met Sasuke’s cock so snugly.

This was new to him. He’d never been with a guy who was pierced there; the most his past lovers had had was earrings and a lip ring. This was taboo, something so unique and so arousing. He’d never thought about what that would be like, but now he knew… He was a sucker for it.

But another question: How would they feel inside of him?

Fuck.

Naruto broke the kiss, Sasuke lifting Naruto’s chin up so that Naruto was forced to stare up at his face. Sasuke licked his upper lip, the underside of Sasuke’s tongue stud just barely peeking through. Naruto was hard...almost fully hard, so uncomfortably restrained by his pants. Naruto tried to pull away.

“Let me…”

Sasuke kept Naruto’s face inclined, a wicked little smile on his face.

“Let you what?”

“Let me see it. I want to lick you. I want to suck your cock. I want to taste you. I… I just…”

He could blame the alcohol, he could blame his hormones, or he could just blame Sasuke. Words were forsaking him.

“How could I say no to that?”

Sasuke took his hand away, allowing Naruto to kiss his neck and nibble it. He kissed down Sasuke’s collar bone, teasing himself now just as much as he was Sasuke. Of course, his first instinct had been to immediately descend onto Sasuke’s cock, to lick it from base to tip.

But he wanted to be on his best behavior for Sasuke. He wanted to show control. He wanted to impress him. He wanted Sasuke to beg for him.

He licked Sasuke’s pec, swirling his tongue around Sasuke’s areola, tensing his tongue as he flicked it against Sasuke’s nipple. He took the barbell piercing Sasuke’s nipple in his teeth, tugging gently as his tongue lapped at Sasuke’s nipple. Sasuke emitted a low moan of approval.

“How does that feel?” Naruto asked.

At this point, somewhat, he was fishing for compliments. But he wanted to hear it in Sasuke’s words.

“Take a guess.”

“Does it feel good when I tug on your piercings? Does it hurt?”

“They’re more sensitive. I like it.”

That was good, because Naruto liked tugging on them.

“Don’t worry. I’ll hit you if you tug too hard.”

Naruto gave a husky laugh, tugging on Sasuke’s piercing a bit more roughly and sweeping his tongue over Sasuke’s nipple. Naruto noticed Sasuke’s abs clench. He had a six pack of his own, though slightly less pronounced than Naruto’s. God...

“That’s not very nice of you,” Naruto teased.

“That’s a theme with me. You should know this by now.”

Naruto punitively nipped at the flesh on Sasuke’s stomach.

“Something you’ll need to quickly learn…” Sasuke told him, voice laden with unabashed desire and lust with a side of wickedness. “I like it rough.”

Jeeeeesus Christ. Was Sasuke trying to kill him? Naruto just about choked. Fuck, could Sasuke be any more perfect? It took everything Naruto had not to blurt out, “Take me now.”

Though he had to admit that maybe, on some remote level, he was intimidated. Sasuke was not the type to fuck around. Yet it was for that very reason that Naruto knew he must impress him.

He bit the skin at Sasuke’s happy trail, sucking and parting with the skin with a loud _“plop.”_ To Naruto’s pleasure, a dark red patch was left behind which would soon become purple. Naruto would make Sasuke remember this night.

He noticed that Sasuke had two metal studs on either side of his hips. They must have been anchored under the skin. One was on top of his other, with the angle declining down to his groin. The other hip was identical. He kissed the lower piercing on Sasuke’s right side, giving a gentle tug.

Naruto now approached the area he had so desired. Sasuke was well-groomed, a trimmed patch of hair at the top of his cock. His balls were clean-shaven. Naruto wondered if Sasuke kept himself so meticulously on normal occasions. Probably so, knowing Sasuke.

He was hunched over, somewhat awkwardly, as he sat on the piano bench. Sasuke’s cock was long, longer than his, but perhaps not as plump. It was almost completely hard now. Lifting it up, Naruto licked from the underside to the head, taking the head into his mouth and sucking. He flicked his tongue over the stud on Sasuke’s tip.

“Shit…”

He heard Sasuke breathe this word out, the first sound he’d made unintentionally.

Naruto slid back, trying to get on his stomach.

“Up,” Naruto ordered, motioning for Sasuke to stand.

That commanding tone of Naruto’s didn’t seem to suit Sasuke well, his prideful face challenging him.

So, Sasuke didn’t like taking orders? Why was he not surprised?

It didn’t matter. This time, he’d accept it, but now he took it as a challenge to get Sasuke to submit to him. To even hear him beg.

He gave Sasuke a wink, beaming at him in an unspoken attempt to soften his request.

“Tsk,” Sasuke answered, rolling his eyes and finally obeying.

Naruto stretched himself out on Sasuke’s bench, one knee swinging up into the air and the other leg rooted to the ground.

“That’s a familiar sight,” Sasuke remarked as he looked down at Naruto’s back, briefly brushing against the ink he had left there over the weeks. His hand moved to the side of the bench, rotating a small handle which Naruto hadn’t seen at first.

Naruto felt his body rise. The bench was adjustable? Not that this was a shocker, considering the luxurious baby grand beside them. It felt odd, so odd, to think that Sasuke had played this instrument with passion, ingenious skill, and even tenderness just moments ago. It was as if a different man entirely stood before him, Sasuke’s cock directly lined up with Naruto’s mouth.

“I have a condom,” Sasuke told him, reaching into his back pocket.

“Not yet,” Naruto whispered, placing his lips against Sasuke’s head as he spoke and misting his hot breath against the flesh.

He wrapped his hand around Sasuke’s cock, giving the head another strong lap. Still holding Sasuke’s manhood, he looked up at Sasuke. He wasn’t smiling. He only knew need at the moment.

“Save it for later,” Naruto added.

A look of surprise flickered over Sasuke’s face, just for a moment. Surprise, and then all too obvious arousal and desire.

“Hn. I knew I liked you,” Sasuke teased.

Naruto flashed Sasuke a smirk, one that almost completely mimicked Sasuke’s. And Naruto could’ve sworn… He could’ve _sworn_ that Sasuke’s face grew just a shade pinker.

Naruto made a show out of licking his lips, prepping himself.

The way Sasuke had licked him, kissed him, touched him, bit him, and sucked him in his tattoo parlor just weeks ago had been phenomenal. His expectations had been pretty damned high, yet Sasuke still managed to exceed them. And even the sight of him, his cock in Sasuke’s mouth, that evil smirk he’d display.

Sasuke had taken care of him.

But this time, he wanted to _impress_ Sasuke. And that was exactly what he was about to do.

Sasuke carried himself in a way that said, “I am smarter than you. I am more experienced than you. I am bolder than you.”

_I’m many things, Sasuke, but I’m not virginal._

This is what Naruto had told him. Sasuke’s response?

_I’m a skeptic. I don’t believe things until I see them._

Virginal? He knew he could be airheaded at times, and sometimes he was awkward. But he was, in no way, virginal, nor should Sasuke mistake him as such.

If Sasuke needed to see these things himself, Naruto was more than glad to show him.

He rested his hand on the backside of Sasuke’s clean-shaven balls, curling his pointer finger towards Sasuke’s front in a come hither motion. Meanwhile, he hungrily licked Sasuke, from the area where his cock and balls met, underneath Sasuke’s shaft, and to the tip, rotating around Sasuke’s head. He lapped his tongue over the three barbells on the underside of Sasuke’s shaft, earning a nearly inaudible moan from him.

“God, you love it when I suck on them, don’t you?” Naruto asked, sounding so full of desire. “What a fetish you have.”

“Tch. You’re one to talk. As if you weren’t obvious enough before, I won’t forget your needy moan when you first touched my cock.”

Naruto blushed, not even bothering to retort.

“I bet you were thinking about how it would feel inside you.”

“God…” Naruto panted. It was almost embarrassing, since Sasuke wasn’t even touching him.

“What it’d feel like when my pierced cock slams into you.”

“Yes… God, yes. I want you.”

Maybe it was the alcohol making him so horny, so shameless. He felt like he could barely control himself. He wanted to have Sasuke. Now.

“Suck it,” Sasuke ordered, his cock raised proudly in front of Naruto’s face.

And Naruto obeyed.

He made out with Sasuke’s cock, twisting his tongue around the head. Wrapping one hand around the base of Sasuke’s cock, he sucked the long tip from his palm back. He knew that Sasuke would feel that his manhood was entirely enclosed.

He sucked hard, now using his other hand to stroke Sasuke’s balls. Sasuke now allowed Naruto to hear him let out a low and shaky moan.

Naruto had always been praised for his blow jobs. He took pride in them. He was going to make Sasuke come undone, trying to coax out every bit of him.

He would take care to suck hard as he went under Sasuke’s frenum. His tongue would form a figure eight, in perfect rhythm, lapping over the length of Sasuke’s head. Sasuke’s hand rested on Naruto’s head, his thumb brushing over Naruto’s hair.

“Christ, Naruto…”

This was the first time Sasuke used his name like that. It personalized the moment. And the way Sasuke just said his name would be material for his own pleasure for ages.

That voice of Sasuke’s… It drove him over the edge. He took Sasuke’s cock back as far as he could from his position, one hand snugly grasping Sasuke’s base and another kneading Sasuke’s balls. Sucking harder, coaxing him. He moaned into Sasuke’s cock unabashedly, hoping that Sasuke would feel the vibrations along his shaft.

Naruto’s lips separated for once, taking a break.

“I want to taste you, Uchiha Sasuke.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened for just a moment, only to be replaced by a satisfied grin in an instant.

“I love how greedy you are.”

“Then don’t deny me.”

On his own accord, Naruto rolled over on his back. One leg still braced him on the ground, while the other foot rested on the edge of the bench. He pushed himself back, his head parting with the bench now as his neck hung off of the bench, mouth currently in line with Sasuke’s cock. He knew that if he were to take Sasuke in deep, this would be the best position.

Naruto reached behind him, his fingers clawing against Sasuke’s ass, knowing he’d be leaving nasty long nail marks there.

Sasuke had told him that he liked it rough. And Naruto was calling him on it.

“Fuck, yes, Naruto. That’s good.”

Sasuke moved forward a step, the tip of his cock brushing against Naruto’s lips whenever he moved just slightly.

Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s hair. Hard.

And he guided his cock into Naruto’s mouth, thrusting so that Naruto’s mouth took about half of him in.

Naruto closed his eyes tight, moaning, not even caring how needy or slutty he sounded. He just needed more. He wanted Sasuke to fuck his mouth. He wanted him to unload on him. Reaching up, Naruto clawed each cheek of Sasuke’s ass and forced his cock into his mouth.

And it was at this point that Sasuke abandoned restraint, slamming himself into Naruto’s mouth, his cock hitting the back of Naruto’s throat. Naruto felt so owned, so vulnerable as Sasuke fucked his mouth. The way his head leaned back allowed Sasuke to go in so deep, and the position curbed his gag reflex. He wondered if anyone had ever taken Sasuke’s big, thick cock so deeply before.

And Naruto had the stamina to keep up with Sasuke, no matter how quickly he thrusted, Naruto would move in harmony with him, would suck even harder. Meanwhile, his fingernails clawed into Sasuke’s ass, leaving scratch marks that would last Sasuke a few days.

The pain seemed to galvanize Sasuke, his hips bucking. He lost his balance for a moment, likely as a result of the alcohol and bliss running through his system. His palm mashed on the piano keys as he sought to right himself, a cacophonous cluster of notes sounding through Sasuke’s apartment.

A moan, neither loud nor particularly quiet, escaped Sasuke. The pleasure in that voice was so pronounced that Naruto could almost feel it. Naruto couldn’t help but gloat, chuckling even with Sasuke’s cock in his mouth. Sasuke’s response was to pull Naruto’s hair, forcing himself farther back into Naruto’s mouth. Naruto’s cock was barely confined by his briefs, a lump proudly presenting itself, unable to be hidden from Naruto’s position.

“Naruto… I’m gonna cum…”

Naruto just moaned in approval, his mouth too busy to make any full retort.

Then he felt Sasuke’s hips twitch yet again. Hurriedly, Sasuke braced himself against the piano.

“Shit…” Sasuke breathed out.

A healthy spurt from his cock filled Naruto’s mouth, only to be followed by another. He loved the way Sasuke tasted - musty with only a hint of saltiness. Sasuke let out a shuddering moan until he released fully, his cock now limp, pink, and swollen. A loud “plop” sounded as Sasuke pulled his cock out of Naruto’s mouth.

Naruto slid down so that his head once again rested on the bench. He grinned up at Sasuke, now fully seeing him. He looked just the slightest bit disheveled, his skin obviously flushed. Naruto’s face and cheeks were covered in the aftermath of Sasuke’s orgasm. Sasuke stared down at him, the lust on his face nearly palpable.

“Christ, you look good like that,” Sasuke remarked, running a finger over a clump of Sasuke’s jizz on Naruto’s cheek. “Do you like being covered by me?”

“Fuck yes,” Naruto answered without hesitation.

“I never thought you’d suck cock so good,” Sasuke said, for the moment ignoring Naruto’s all too obvious erection. It almost seemed cruel.

“Why not?” Naruto challenged.

“Because very, _very_ few people can,” he replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

Naruto couldn’t help the huge grin that ate up his face at Sasuke’s compliment. Had he seriously just impressed Sasuke? Maybe?

“Naruto… I want you to stay there for a moment.”

Naruto grumbled, making his dissatisfaction apparent. God, the erection between his legs ached.

“As always, you’re so needy. It’ll just be a second.”

Sasuke paused for a moment just as he was about to turn away.

“And Naruto, I forbid you to touch yourself.”

“What would you do if I did?” Naruto panted out.

“I’d be inclined to punish you,” Sasuke answered, his voice soft yet menacing.

Tingles went down Naruto’s spine at that. God, yes. He’d take Sasuke’s punishments any day. Naruto moaned, barely restraining himself from touching his swollen erection.

“It’ll be worth it.”

He stared at the ceiling as Sasuke left him, biting his lip as he tried to control himself. It was almost painful. About a half minute passed, though to Naruto it might as well have been an hour.

Soon enough, Sasuke approached Naruto, leaning over into Naruto’s field of view. Sasuke was holding what seemed to be a long, black cloth, made of soft satin. Sasuke bent over, placing it over Naruto’s eyes but not tying it.

“Do you like this sort of thing?”

They’d never done this sort of thing, after all. Naruto nodded, feeling more timid now as his cheeks grew warmer.

“Perfect.”

Gently, Sasuke lifted up Naruto’s head, tying the blindfold tightly enough so that it wouldn’t slip, so that Naruto couldn’t peek through. He was tempted to refuse, if only for the purpose of seeing Sasuke as he worked. He hoped to commit every image to memory.

But Sasuke… He was a wild card. He’d never done this with him before, so he had no idea what to expect. He loved that.

He heard Sasuke walk towards his bottom half.

He felt cold, freezing cold… A cube of ice formed a figure eight on Naruto’s stomach, just under his navel. It shocked Naruto, who gasped as he clenched the sides of the bench with his hands.

“Does that feel good?” Sasuke asked, his voice low.

“Yeah… Really good.”

Sasuke unbuttoned Naruto’s pants, lifting his lower half up by his legs as Sasuke slid them off of Naruto, down his ankles and off of his feet. Naruto was left feeling exposed and vulnerable, the only clothing left on his body being his boxers.

Sasuke left him lying there for fifteen, maybe twenty seconds, just to tease him. Naruto growled, demanding more.

“Sasuke, do so-”

He gasped as a solitary drop of freezing cold water hit the head of his cock. And then another, rolling down his shaft. Naruto closed his eyes tight.

Naruto couldn’t hide his moan as Sasuke’s mouth encapsulated his cock. Parts of Sasuke’s tongue were cold, and other parts warm. The walls of Sasuke’s mouth were warm, but Sasuke’s metal tongue stud was the coldest of all. The contrasting temperatures made him stiffen, made him writhe, moaning quietly. Sasuke then exhaled on the tender skin, his breath so hot.

He heard what must have been Sasuke kneeling. Sasuke directed Naruto’s legs so that one foot rested on each of Sasuke’s shoulders. Sasuke roughly splayed Naruto’s asscheeks apart, and then Naruto felt what he’d never expected. Sasuke’s tongue very slowly rotated around Naruto’s pucker.

The sensation of Sasuke’s mouth on such forbidden flesh caused Naruto to melt completely, letting out a greedy moan which he didn’t bother to hide. Sasuke’s tongue stud, still chilled, dipped into Naruto’s hole.

“Fuck, _yes_. Sasuke... Too good.”

“There is no such thing,” Sasuke said in a husky voice.

His tongue lapped at Naruto’s entrance, which twitched as Sasuke’s tongue moved in unexpected directions.

And finally, a single digit entered Naruto’s hole, coated in a warming lube. The lube’s head against his skin offered such a contrast. It filled Naruto, warmed him. Naruto sunk himself onto Sasuke’s finger as best he could in this position.

“God… More, Sasuke.”

“You’re so hard already. Hang in there for a while longer.”

Naruto’s body so easily accommodated to the entrance of Sasuke’s finger, thrusting in and out. Another finger joined, and Naruto’s body eagerly met the resistance of two fingers, thrusting in and out quickly.

“You should see how eager you look. Your chest is practically red, and your cock is leaking.”

“Mnn,” Naruto murmured.

He’d always been a sucker for dirty talk, which seemed to come naturally to Sasuke. He grasped Naruto’s cock in his other hand, just softly dabbing Naruto’s tip in rhythm with the thrusting of his fingers. He scissored his fingers, back and forth inside Naruto. He was more and more easily taking Sasuke in, especially with the abundant amount of lube Sasuke had used.

A third finger. It felt thick inside of him. Sasuke kept going, pumping a little more shallowly for a moment.

“Relax,” Sasuke said softly.

Naruto hadn’t realized he’d become tense, allowing his body to relax. He wasn’t new to this, but he was excited, and a little nervous. But the thought of it being Sasuke...

He remembered the sight of Sasuke’s plump cock. Darkness surrounded Naruto. Sasuke could catch him off guard so easily.

Sasuke continued at a deliberate pace, and Naruto quickly adjusted. He found himself resisting the urge to lower himself onto Sasuke’s fingers, to be filled deeper. He could barely restrain himself.

“One more…” Sasuke almost whispered, slipping a fourth finger into Naruto’s orifice. “I’m big.”

“Nngh,” Naruto whined, clamping his eyes shut.

Adrenaline coursed through his body, his breath coming quickly.

“You good?” Sasuke grunted.

“God yes,” Naruto answered. “I want you.”

The thrust of Sasuke’s fingers grew more forceful. Finally, Naruto gave in, grabbing the bench on either side and moving in rhythm was Sasuke’s thrusts, lowering his body so that Sasuke’s fingers penetrated so deeply. He heard Sasuke smirk at his eagerness.

“Sasuke… Please fuck me.”

At that, Sasuke removed his fingers from Naruto. He heard Sasuke open his condom, which only made his needy erection harder, to the point that it was nearly painful. God, he needed Sasuke. He needed him _now_.

Sasuke was rolling the condom up his cock, and Naruto heard him finish. Then there was silence. In that silence, Naruto felt as if an electric current was pulsing all throughout his body. Blinded, he had no idea what to expect…

Sasuke stood. Naruto heard the twisting of the bench’s lever as Sasuke adjusted it, raising up his body.

“Rest your legs on my shoulders.”

Sasuke was standing now, and Naruto offered his legs, resting them on either side of Sasuke’s neck. Sasuke’s body felt so hot.

After what seemed so long, he finally felt the tip of Sasuke’s cock against his pucker.

Naruto let out a loud moan, born without his permission. His own shameless neediness both surprised and aroused him.

He felt the piercing at the tip of Sasuke’s cock, concealed by the condom. It took all of Naruto’s willpower not to lower himself on it, Sasuke’s head tracing over his hole.

“Don’t tease me,” Naruto moaned impatiently.

With his sight taken from him, the sensation of Sasuke’s cock against his orifice consumed him. Lust came to him in violent waves, crashing against his entire body.

Sasuke gave Naruto’s inner thigh a sharp pinch, causing Naruto to gasp.

“Such poor manners,” Sasuke responded, clucking his tongue.

Despite how badly he wanted Sasuke inside of him, Naruto couldn’t help but rebel.

“That’s a theme with me,” Naruto retorted, using Sasuke’s earlier words against him. “You should know this by now.”

“I’ll teach you to behave.”

Suddenly, Naruto felt one of his cheeks cupped in Sasuke’s hand. Sasuke’s nails clawed into it and leaving red scratches as he pulled towards his own body. Caught completely off guard, Naruto emitted a sharp gasp.

“Dammit, Sasuke…” Naruto griped. “Please. Please fill me.”

Silence. Sasuke was completely still, leaving Naruto to writhe in suspense as he awaited the other’s reactions.

“Much better.”

Sasuke then leaned into Naruto, whose rim accommodated the head of Sasuke’s cock, twitching around it. His erection wept, and Naruto felt a bead of precum form already. It was embarrassing; he willed his body to stop.

Finally. Finally, Sasuke was inside of him. God, he wanted Sasuke to fuck him, to fill him. From the first time Naruto had seen Sasuke, he’d been aroused by him. But never did he dream that _this_ would happen. He recalled Sasuke’s body, his gloating face, his muscles and ink, picturing Sasuke in his mind’s eye. This man was inside of him.

“Yes!” Naruto shouted out.

Sasuke forced himself deeper into Naruto. Naruto wasn’t sure how much of Sasuke’s cock had entered him. Sasuke was larger than his past lovers.

Sasuke thrust in and out at a steady pace.

“Deeper…” Naruto panted out. “Faster…”

Much to his pleasure, Sasuke obeyed, speeding his thrusts. Naruto gasped as Sasuke filled him deeper, feeling his entrance stretch against him. He felt the piercings on the underside of Sasuke’s cock clear his hole. The neediest moan came from Naruto, which only made Sasuke more enthusiastic, manifested so beautifully in his movements.

Naruto lowered himself onto Sasuke’s cock as Sasuke thrust in, and away when Sasuke thrust out. Sasuke fucked him harder. Naruto felt Sasuke’s legs and stomach against his ass, and he knew that Sasuke was fully inside of him now. Sasuke was so big. Naruto’s eyes clamped shut, the blond willfully ordering his body to relax around Sasuke’s sex.

“I wish you could see the way you look right now…” Sasuke told him in a sultry tone. Perhaps he was trying to distract Naruto as he adjusted. “Your cock is so hard and red. Your cum has drizzled down the tip.”

“I wish I could see you,” Naruto breathed out.

He heard Sasuke pant as his movements adopted a quicker pace. Naruto’s balls were so hard, to the point that it was a little painful. Sasuke was inside of him fully.

Sasuke then pounded himself into Naruto’s body, as deeply as he could penetrate. A shout ripped out of Naruto’s body, followed by a soft whine.

_“Yes!”_ he cried out, frantically moving into Sasuke’s thrusts.

He heard Sasuke’s panting, felt the sweat accumulate behind his blindfold.

“Fuck…” he heard Sasuke whisper.

“L-let me…” Naruto stammered, lust consuming him so heavily that he could hardly speak. “Let me take it off. I want to see you fuck me.”

“Do it,” Sasuke answered.

Naruto didn’t need to be told twice, discarding the blindfold to the side.

And god, the sight of Sasuke alone made him moan, made heat encircle around his body and his stomach clench.

Sasuke’s skin had the slightest flush, indubitably a result of his exertions. He was coated in the slightest sheen of sweat, as was Naruto’s. His hair was just slightly unkempt. Sasuke’s pale skin, the ink on his arms and chest, that smirk Sasuke gave him, knowing that now was the time to show off…

“Sasuke…” he whined, his hand reaching out to the man.

Sasuke moved closer into Naruto, pushing his legs up into his body and slamming into Naruto’s prostate. When Sasuke was this far into him, Naruto couldn’t feel Sasuke’s piercings anymore, but he imagined him. Naruto wouldn’t take his eyes off of Sasuke, couldn’t. He wanted to memorize this moment, his erection slightly curved upward along the path of his pelvis.

Naruto was able to grab Sasuke’s forearm, his nails clawing into it. This only amplified Sasuke’s movements, the loud slap of Naruto’s ass against Sasuke’s body filling the apartment. Naruto’s entrance spasmed, and a heat so strong swirled around his pelvis.

“Sasuke, I’m gonna cum…”

“Let go,” Sasuke answered lasciviously. “I want you to cover yourself.”

A few thrusts. 1, 2, 3…

And Naruto unleashed.

_“Sasuke!”_

He shouted, unable to stop himself but not caring.

A pleasure seized his entire body, so great that Naruto felt like he was in his own universe. A universe devoid of everything but ecstasy, lust, and adrenaline.

He felt the warm cum unleash from his cock, covering his abs and chest. Sasuke stared at him, licking his upper lip, watching every one of Naruto’s movements closely. Another spurt. He couldn’t help himself. His heart was pounding, the stamina of a marathon runner neck and neck with their competitor, just feet from the finish line.

But Sasuke didn’t stop. Each of Naruto’s spurts diminished, and now he was empty, his body buzzing with bliss and his cock flaccid.

Even still, Sasuke felt good inside of him.

“Keep going,” Naruto told him. “I want to feel you let loose inside of me. I want you to feel good.”

“God, Naruto…” Sasuke panted. “You’re…gorgeous right now.”

Naruto was unable to stop himself from blushing. Sasuke’s gaze was saturated was lust.

“I can’t get enough of you,” Naruto added, helping Sasuke along. “You look so good, inside me like this.”

The raspy sound of Sasuke’s breath grew louder as Sasuke darted toward the finish line. Sasuke’s body froze.

“Now…”

And Naruto felt Sasuke’s condom balloon inside of him as Sasuke moaned out his name.

“Naru...to…”

The sensation was so intimate that he could help but moan with Sasuke. The sound of Sasuke calling his name like that… He hoped to never forget it.

Sasuke’s nails dug into Naruto’s thighs as he ejaculated once more, and another time, emptying himself into Naruto. He was still, his cock still deep inside of Naruto, their panting filling the room…

Sasuke rested like this for but a few seconds, which seemed so intimate. Then, he smoothly pulled himself out of Naruto, Naruto’s hole needily gaping, missing the fullness of Sasuke’s sex.

Sasuke waited for a moment to catch his breath, both of them staring at each other, eyes lidded with pleasure. Sasuke took a few steps away, tucking his hair behind his ear. His eyes made their way back to Naruto.

“Come to bed with me.”

Naruto’s heart stilled, a warmth filling his chest. He wouldn’t have been surprised if Sasuke had sent him home.

Sasuke handed Naruto a box of tissues to clean himself. Naruto sat up and discreetly wiped himself, tossing the tissues into the trash can. Getting up, he stood next to Sasuke, who motioned for Naruto to accompany him into the bedroom.

Sasuke’s room was white, his bed a rich maroon with gold stitching. A katana, with an elegantly decorated silver hilt, hung on his wall. A round fan, white and red, rested beside it. It was the same fan that was tattooed on Sasuke’s hand. What did that fan mean to Sasuke?

Sasuke climbed onto his comforter, followed by Naruto. The instant Naruto’s body rested into the bed, he realized how exhausted he was. They lay on their sides facing each other, and Naruto reached his hand toward Sasuke’s, only for Sasuke to jerk his hand away. What was that about?

Naruto frowned, but Sasuke’s hand soon rested on his upper arm, his dark eyes seeking to reassure him. Perhaps it was too soon, too intimate, despite everything else they had just been doing. This would be good enough.

Naruto leaned forward, cupping Sasuke’s face in his hand and softly kissing him, his tongue lazily working around Sasuke’s. He rested his hand on the flesh between Sasuke’s neck and shoulder, feeling a streak of heavy scar tissue over the expanse.

Sasuke flinched minutely as soon as Naruto’s finger tips came into contact with it, causing Naruto to quickly redirect his touch. Naruto hadn’t noticed this before, Sasuke’s ink concealing it so well. He found himself wondering how Sasuke came by such a scar.

Naruto’s eyes were closing on their own, but he put his last remaining energy into the kiss. They parted. Naruto didn’t want to drift off. He wanted to remember every minute with Sasuke. But he was so spent.

“You don’t have to stay up,” Sasuke told him. “Go to sleep.”

Naruto smiled at Sasuke, soon after taking Sasuke’s cue and entering a deep slumber.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a few days late, but I hope it was worth the wait.
> 
> Things have been intense on my end. Some health issues, work bubbling over. and preparing for my mother-in-law staying at my place for a couple weeks. Phew.
> 
> By the way, if anyone likes they can add me on Wordpress:  
> https://offansandflames.wordpress.com
> 
> There, you can get updates when chapters post, hear about any issues that might impact my story, see drabbles/one shots/other projects I'm working on, observe snippets of my fascinating daily life, and in general just chat. I love interacting with my readers!  
> <3


	8. Honest Nights

Naruto rolled over in bed to find only cold sheets around him. He yawned, an almost unnoticeable gap between his eyelids as he sluggishly took in his surroundings. He could only see by the light of the alarm clock, the television’s DVD player, and whatever city lights trespassed the blinds covering Sasuke’s bedroom window. The clock read 3:30.

Noting Sasuke’s absence, Naruto sat up and rubbed his eyes. He wondered if he should try to fall back to sleep. Sasuke was likely using the restroom or getting a glass of water. He’d wait for him to return. He wanted to see Sasuke again.

His eyes settled on the clock. The minutes passed slowly, and at 3:37, Naruto decided that he’d give up on drifting back to sleep. He sat, and soon after stood, his feet shuffling toward the bedroom door across the hardwood floor. He opened the door, now able to peer into the living room.

He saw a white shine of the baby grand, its smooth black body reflecting the moonlight. It reminded him of the way Sasuke looked while he played, that bold moment he’d decided to kiss Sasuke, and the bliss that proceeded.

The bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room carried not the slightest hint of illumination. He was guided to the refrigerator by its slight glow in the dark. He groped for the modest stove light to get himself a Sprite. In the dull bulb’s illumination, Naruto glanced over to Sasuke’s patio. He noticed a large expanse of maroon: Sasuke’s robe.

Naruto had assumed, or rather, hoped that Sasuke hadn’t noticed his presence. He watched Sasuke silently for a moment, now making out the black pajama pants Sasuke was wearing under the robe. Sasuke was sitting on a small metal chair by a small circular table made of glass. Naruto then noticed the stark contrast of an orange glow resting between Sasuke’s fingers. Sasuke slouched his head backwards as he exhaled a stream of smoke; he looked peaceful.

It felt as though he were observing a private moment. Naruto glanced back towards the bedroom, then back out at Sasuke. Feeling both bold and lonely, Naruto ventured out towards the sliding glass door, bracing himself against the cold as he slid it open. Sasuke glanced up at him without sign of surprise. Naruto could just barely see the shine of Sasuke’s black eyes and make out the acute difference between his pale skin and the ink on his chest that slipped through his plush robe.

“Tsk, tsk, Sasuke…” Naruto chided. “Don’t you know that smoking’s bad for your health?”

“Really?” Sasuke inquired, taking an unnecessarily long drag just to spite him with a devilish shrug. “Must’ve missed the memo.”

Naruto wasn’t surprised. Nothing he’d ever known about Sasuke would have led him to think he’d care what Naruto thought about any habit of his.

“Seriously. You know, you won’t look so sexy once your nails and teeth get all yellow and the wrinkles start.”

“I suspect I won’t have to worry about that,” Sasuke replied in a low and mellow voice.

“Why’s that?” Naruto asked, tilting his head.

In his free hand, Sasuke held up a pack of cigarettes, which appeared, through to darkness, to be about three quarters full.

“I bought this a month ago,” Sasuke told him, setting the pack back down.

“And that makes it healthy?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“I never claimed it wasn’t a vice.”

A distant siren raised in pitch as it approached, honking several times as it attempted to muscle its way through Manhattan traffic. It was surely deafening at street level, but with forty stories between them, it seemed so faint.

In the corner, there was an easel with a modest wooden chair set beside it. Did Sasuke draw up here? As Naruto gestured towards it, Sasuke cast him a curt nod. Naruto sighed as he sat down, stretching out his legs.

“Menthol…” Naruto remarked, glancing at Sasuke’s cigarette pack. Nostalgic.

Sasuke grunted, letting the cigarette slack between his fingers. Sasuke didn’t look at Naruto as he smoked, his eyes cast outwards towards the city. Naruto joined him, quietly taking in the sights and sounds.

The street grids stretched forward, dozens of skyscrapers standing like monolithic black boxes, gridded with the golden lights of the occupied rooms. The city was its own light source, teaming with electricity and vibrancy, even at this hour. There was a reason people called New York City the city that never sleeps. Manhattan could never be silent.

Yet forty-two stories up, this was a much more agreeable soundtrack than what his stoop in Harlem offered him. It gave him a familiar but long-lost feeling of observing rather than participating, which could be hard to come by in a city so busy.

It must’ve been almost ten minutes that they sat there. Naruto would steal a glance at Sasuke from time to time. It was difficult not to admire him; he was both thoughtful and beautiful.

Naruto wondered exactly what he was contemplating. He tried to keep himself from feeling special about being included in such a private moment. It was foolish; this was only their second date. He couldn’t help but remember Sasuke’s hand flinching away from his own. Sasuke might have seen Naruto staring, as he’d become rather skilled at inconspicuously picking up on people’s gazes due to necessity. If Sasuke had noticed, he didn’t let on.

Naruto could barely see the stars, which were dwarfed by the city’s vibrant light. This was one of the few things Naruto missed from his time in Texas. He could only recognize a couple of constellations. The minutes continued to pass, and Naruto was becoming restless. He couldn’t match Sasuke.

“Sasuke…” Naruto muttered.

“Hm?”

“How long have you been out here?”

“A few hours,” he stated.

Naruto paused, arching a brow.

“You _do_ know that it’s almost four in the morning, don’t you?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but not out of annoyance.

“What part of ‘insomniac’ didn’t you understand?”

Naruto shook his head. Sasuke hadn’t been kidding.

“Is it like this often?”

Sasuke snickered, tilting his head towards Naruto.

“Why do you think they know me so well at Grinds?”

“’S rough,” Naruto acknowledged gruffly, staring down between his knees. Was this really what nights were like for Sasuke? He’d only gotten a couple hours of sleep that night. No wonder he drifted off during his tattoo that day. But Sasuke merely shrugged.

“People drink coffee for a reason.”

Naruto nodded, glancing out at the city again. He didn’t know if Sasuke wanted to talk about this anymore, so he’d change the subject.

“It’s nice out here,” Naruto mused. “I listen to the noises and try to imagine what it’s like down there. The people look like ants.”

“I’d rather not place myself in their perspective,” Sasuke commented. “I prefer to watch from a distance.”

Perhaps this was one of the basic differences between the two.

“Sounds like you.”

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. Naruto paused for a moment.

“It’s not a bad use for your time, if you’re gonna be awake anyway.”

Sasuke grunted, leaning his chin in his hand and looking over at Naruto.

“I suppose not.”

Sasuke’s hands fiddled with the remains of his cigarette which he had put out earlier.

“Do you smoke them to sleep?” Naruto asked. He’d never smelled smoke on Sasuke before.

“Mn,” Sasuke confirmed with a nod. “I especially wanted to fall asleep tonight. You can see how well that worked out.”

Naruto thought, hopefully, that perhaps the reason was because Sasuke wanted to lie with him throughout the night, or that he didn’t want to leave Naruto alone. Or, Naruto had to admit, maybe he just had something important to do tomorrow. Whatever the case, Naruto liked this. It was spontaneous, and Naruto felt like it was nearly as intimate as sleeping with Sasuke had been. Perhaps, in some ways, moreso.

“Thank you for letting me spend the night, Sasuke,” Naruto said, casting Sasuke a warm smile.

Sasuke nodded, gazing down at his hands for a moment.

“Mhm.”

They were silent for a while longer. Sasuke looked perturbed, lighting his cigarette again and taking another puff.

“Naruto…”

“Yes, Sasuke?”

“What are your expectations?”

Sasuke moved his gaze to Naruto’s eyes, smoke slowly drifting upwards from his hand.

“What?”

“What do you want from this?”

Naruto looked just slightly hurt by the comment. He didn’t know exactly what Sasuke meant by it, or where Sasuke was coming from. Still, it seemed awfully harsh.

“I…  I just like you.”

Sasuke inhaled deeply, then exhaled the smoke through his nostrils.

“Did you want a lover?”

Naruto felt his cheeks blush against the cool New England night breeze. He knew they should have discussed this earlier.

“I…  Uh…” Naruto stammered, looking away from Sasuke quickly. Sasuke seemed to read him in an instant.

“There’s something you need to understand.”

The sentence seemed very severe, and it made Naruto a little nervous. Was Sasuke hiding something?

“Yeah?”

“Relationships are tricky for me,” he stated quietly, as if he were protecting a secret from eavesdroppers. “It’s questionable whether I’m even capable of them.”

Naruto nodded, unaware of the deep frown on his face. If he were to be truly honest…  Yes, he wanted Sasuke for a lover. But neither of them had laid down their priorities in this…relationship, if he could even call it that.

“Hey, that’s okay,” Naruto answered with a newly formed smile, his teeth showing in the darkness. “I can help you out.”

But Sasuke shook his head again.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Naruto tried not to frown.

“So…  What are we then?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“I don’t know."

Sasuke’s words hurt. Naruto’s stomach felt cold.

“Do you…  I’m not just…”

“Just?” Sasuke prompted.

“Am I just a random fuck to you? Your boytoy?” Naruto asked morosely, fiddling with his shirt before looking back up at Sasuke. “Is that it?”

If Sasuke did not answer him, Naruto would know that he was right.

“If you were just a fuck to me, you wouldn’t be on this patio with me.”

It might not have been a direct answer, but this was enough to satisfy Naruto. Yet it still didn’t clarify exactly where they stood.

“Then what do _you_ want from me?” Naruto countered.

Sasuke lowered his head, his bangs falling onto his face. He took a deep breath. He seemed to be forcing himself to talk.

“We can fuck around like we did tonight. I don’t know if I can do anything more.”

Naruto nodded, again feeling as if someone had punched him in the gut. Still, he supposed being Sasuke’s friend was better than being just some toy.

“May I ask why you can’t?”

Sasuke glanced at Naruto for a moment.

“It’s the way I am.”

“Always?”

“I’ve never had a real relationship before,” Sasuke stated. “I’ve had hollow ones. I’ve slept with people. But I wasn’t present.”

Naruto wondered, momentarily, what Sasuke meant by “present." Yet from what he knew about Sasuke, it was easy to extrapolate.

“Sasuke..." Naruto held his breath for a moment. He wanted Sasuke. He wanted to love him, even if neither of them was there just yet. He couldn’t afford to be timid now, or he might lose him. “I’m willing to teach you if you’re willing to be taught.”

“Naruto…”

Sasuke opened his mouth for a moment.

He then continued, “You don’t even know who I am. We’ve only seen each other outside of the studio twice.”

Sasuke’s words stung, even moreso because they were true. He had shared so much of himself, and Sasuke had shared so little. But Naruto wouldn’t allow himself to show deterrence.

“Then I look forward to getting to know you better,” Naruto answered with a grin.

“I’m not a good person, Naruto,” Sasuke frowned. “I’m selfish, sadistic, and I can be damned mean.”

“No, you’re a good person,” Naruto contended, as though there had been no doubt in his mind. “I can just tell.”

Sasuke huffed, rolling his eyes.

“You’re naïve,” said Sasuke in a matter of fact tone of voice.

Sasuke didn’t say it with hostility. It was as though he were making a simple observation.

“Yeah, people have told me that before,” Naruto said sheepishly. “But if you don’t have hope sometimes, you’ll just have regrets for all the risks you didn’t take.”

Sasuke stared at Naruto, intrigued by his words. Naruto felt Sasuke’s eyes analyze him, knew that Sasuke was wordlessly sizing him up.

“It’s not fair to you, either.”

“Eh?” Naruto asked, genuinely confused.

“Even if you can commit to me, I can’t commit to you. And I may never be able to.”

 _May_ , Sasuke had said.

“Look, Sasuke…” Naruto said softly. “This isn’t a commitment or an obligation on your part. All I’m saying is that I want to try.”

Sasuke looked back at Naruto hesitantly, only now appearing to reconsider.

“I have to try. I don’t care how long it takes,” Naruto answered, smiling. “I can wait.”

Perhaps he was infatuated. It could be. But the more he got to know Sasuke, the more he grew to care for him. He had, most certainly, never met anyone else like Sasuke. He couldn’t give up without a fight.

“Why?”

“Ya know, I have a pretty good sense about people. I trust it.”

Sasuke looked into Naruto’s eyes for a moment, neither smiling nor frowning. For a moment, he sucked on one of his lip piercings. It felt to Naruto like Sasuke was reading him.

“You’ll waste your time.”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“I can’t talk you out of this?”

“Not a chance in hell, sweetcheeks,” Naruto replied, his eyes shut as he grinned.

Sasuke took a short hit off of his cigarette. In the light of the tobacco, Naruto swore he saw Sasuke smile, just for a moment. He saw those snakebites move. Sasuke seemed to be deep in thought, pausing. He shook his head.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Naruto grinned.

“Hey, Sasuke, has it always been like this for you?”

“What do you mean?” Sasuke asked guardedly.

“Has it always been so tough for you to sleep?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“It happened right before I hit adolescence.”

Naruto noted Sasuke’s choice of works. It “happened.”

“Why’s that, you think?” Naruto asked, tilting his head.

“Oi, you ask too many questions.”

Sasuke took a deep drag off of his cigarette, watching the smoke obscure the dark and cloudless night sky as he exhaled.

“Something about nights…” Sasuke mused. “Sometimes they do a better job of making people honest than a fifth of vodka would.”

Naruto nodded silently, arbitrarily fixating on a man walking groceries to his front door. At this point, he knew Sasuke well enough to realize that Sasuke would have had no problems telling Naruto he was not interested in a committed relationship.

It was the fact that Sasuke was open with him, that he’d even told Naruto that he’d never been in a fulfilling relationship before in his life. This is what Sasuke was referring to when he told Naruto that the night made him honest. And while the truth hadn’t been the most pleasant, Naruto was at the very least thankful for that.

* * *

“The ink’s taken to your skin so well.”

Naruto smiled, relaxed on Sasuke’s chair. The feeling of boring, the buzz of the tattoo irons, the loud rock music… It all reminded him of the man marking him at that exact moment. The pain made his heart beat faster – not because it was unpleasant, but because it reminded him of Sasuke.

They took a private room again. Suigetsu had smirked at them as they walked back, a smile on his face.

“Hmm, baby, love it when ya talk dirty,” Naruto teased with an impish grin.

“Just admiring my own handiwork.”

“’Just admiring my own handiwork,’” Naruto parroted, his voice a caricature of the smugness and superiority he’d detected in Sasuke’s tone.

Sasuke reached forward, one gloved finger loudly flicking Naruto’s ear in reprimand.

_Thwak._

“Ow!” Naruto cried out.

This was nothing like the other times Sasuke had flicked him. This actually hurt, the skin of his ear red and hot. Strong hands.

“Don’t be a wimp.”

“I’m not a wimp. You couldn’t take me if you tried!”

Naruto turned around to beam at Sasuke when he said this, only for Sasuke to huff in exasperation.

“If you don’t knock it off, I know how to make this hurt.”

“Oh no! Don’t hurt me with the big, scary needle!”

“Hey, calm your shit down and stay still,” Sasuke answered him. “You start jerking around when you get riled up. Do I need to drug you?”

Naruto bit his lip, trying not to laugh and then failing miserably.

“Sorry!” Naruto said through laughter. “I just… _can’t_ …”

Sasuke gave an exaggerated sigh, leaning on one foot and rolling his eyes.

“You kinda walked into that one, Sasuke.”

Sasuke stopped his work for just a moment, sighing before starting up his irons.

“I guess I did.”

“No worries. You can rile _me_ up anytime.”

“Naruto,” Sasuke snapped with a more modest flick to Naruto’s ear. “Still.”

“I _am_ still!”

He was! He’d made sure not to move. What was Sasuke… Naruto grinned mischievously as he considered an alternative.

“Or is it that I’m distracting you, Sasuke?”

Sasuke clucked his tongue.

“I’m not easy to distract. Do you realize how important focus is to this job?”

Naruto still wasn’t convinced, but he let it go with a grin. He was sure that it was difficult to do something so intricate while your love interest keeps making dirty comments.

The air had been different around them since they slept with each other, that night when Sasuke played the piano for him with his heart, when he fell asleep in Sasuke’s bed...

Sasuke made it clear to him. Friends with benefits. That’s what they were. But not to Naruto. To Naruto, this was just the beginning, a work in progress. He had to start somewhere.

Naruto would never try to make someone love him who really did not want to love him. But Sasuke… To Naruto, it seemed that Sasuke was only being held back by himself. He wondered, and secretly hoped, that Sasuke needed someone like him.

“I get it. I’m just glad I get to feel you touch me.”

“Mn…” Sasuke murmured quietly, and it made Naruto burst into a smile.

“No talking like this around customers, okay?”

“Duh. I’m not stupid.”

“I wonder about that.”

Naruto laughed, again doing his best not to move.

“Jackass.”

Naruto only allowed his lips to idle for a couple minutes before speaking here.

“Does Suigetsu know about us?”

He was thinking back to that knowing glance Suigetsu had issued them earlier.

“I didn’t tell him anything, but he’s also not stupid,” Sasuke answered with a shrug in his voice.

“How can he tell? Is it really uncommon to take people back here or something?”

“No, it’s not,” Sasuke answered, holding the flesh on his shoulder down as he began shading the curve of one of the fox’s tails, a deep burnt orange.

“Then what gives?”

“You’re an idiot,” Sasuke sighed, giving his shoulder a gentle pat.

“What? Hey… Why is it so obvious? Tell me!”

“You are what’s obvious.”

Naruto felt his blood rush up to his head, his cheeks flushing. What? It was _him_?

“No! I’m not acting any different! Only when we’re alone!”

Sasuke let out another sigh, letting both of his arms drop to his sign.

“You poor, oblivious fool,” Sasuke said with a smile in his voice.

“Is it really that obvious?” Naruto huffed, resigning himself now.

“You’re an expressive man,” Sasuke said quietly. As he held Naruto’s skin down and started his irons again, it felt like a caress. “Your feelings are written on your face.”

Naruto groaned, feeling like his cheeks warm slightly. He’d been like this for as long as he’d remembered. And in front of a guy like Sasuke, who was arguably way out of his league…

“Whatever…”

Sasuke made no response, continuing with his work. Naruto wasn’t one to sulk for long.

“What’ve you been up to since I’ve been gone?”

“Nothing much,” Sasuke mulled. “I went to a convention in Berlin, but work as usual otherwise.”

Naruto’s jaw hung open as his eyes widened.

“Berlin? Like, as in Germany Berlin?”

“Yes. I went as a favor to a friend this time. He wanted me to lead a workshop series.”

Naruto knew Sasuke was good. But he knew nothing about the global tattooist community. He had no idea that Sasuke was so well-respected, even internationally. He also couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that Sasuke hadn’t told him he was leaving the country. Maybe it was common for him.

“I’ve barely even been to Canada! Do you travel a lot?”

“I go to trade shows and conventions every now and again, but that’s only a couple times a year. I have a shop to run, after all.”

That question hadn’t been as casual as Naruto made it sound. Sasuke’s response made him happy. He wanted Sasuke near him.

“Where else have you gone?”

“All over eastern Europe, China, spent a few summers in Japan as a kid… Nothing too crazy.”

Naruto whined.

“Maan, I want to go somewhere cool. I’ve been to Toronto, and that’s it. I’ll be happy if I can go to Montreal some day.”

“You’ve got time,” Sasuke answered.

“You say that like you’re so much older than me,” Naruto answered with a little barb in his voice. He always got this feeling that Sasuke believed he was the more mature one of the two. As much as it pained Naruto to admit it, he probably was.

“Mn. What have you been up to, then?”

Naruto shrugged, feeling a little lame that his response wouldn’t hold a candle to Sasuke’s.

“Nothing too exciting. Work’s been hectic.”

“Mn,” Sasuke answered in what seemed like a nod.

Man, he was so lame.

Wait, no he wasn’t! He was Uzumaki Naruto!

“I finally ran a mile in six minutes!”

Six minutes and twelve seconds, actually.

“Okay,” Sasuke answered, sounding unimpressed.

“Oh, come on! That’s a really good time!”

Aside from some people in boot camp, Naruto didn’t know anyone who could keep pace with that.

“Fine, what what can _you_ run?” Naruto followed up with a grin.

“My record is four minutes and fifty seconds.”

Naruto just about choked on his own spit.

“What the hell?” Naruto griped. “Why do you have to be good at everything?”

“Running is kind of my thing,” Sasuke answered.

“Well, I joined the 1,000 pound club. Except for me, it was the 1,050 pound club!” Naruto added, turning his head to beam at Sasuke.

Sasuke just rolled his eyes.

“Oh god, you’re talking about that thing? Only douchebags and ‘roid kings talk about joining the 1,000 pound club.”

He was quite disappointed that Sasuke already knew what he was talking about. He was just waiting to explain to Sasuke that this meant that if he added his best records for the squat, bench, and deadlift, it would add up to 1,050 pounds. The 1,000 pound club was what some might call your typical “very strong guy” standard.

“Someone’s jealous.”

“I might have been if I gave a damn about accomplishing that,” Sasuke answered flippantly, etching into Naruto’s back. “But I don’t.”

“Don’t worry. If anyone tries to pick on ya, I’ll protect you!”

“I can protect myself, Naruto.”

“Pfft,” Naruto answered. “Well, you sure can run away fast. Is that because you’re chicken?”

“Don’t test me on that. I guarantee you’ll regret it.”

Of course, that only encouraged him.

“Oh _really?_ ”

“Really.”

Though Naruto was now remembering Sasuke putting the blindfold on his face, the way he pounded into him, the way he played with Naruto’s senses as ice cold drips of water fell on his cock.

He didn’t mind riling Sasuke up if it meant more of that. Or, if Sasuke would actually fight him, that would be almost as nice. Maybe he could teach Sasuke a thing or two.

“I can take anything you can dish out, Sasuke,” Naruto answered, knowing full well how it sounded.

The sound of Sasuke’s irons stopped. It broke Naruto out of his lull, unnerved him even.

“Are you sure about that?”

The air felt warmer.

“Only one way to find out!”

“Very true,” Sasuke answered haughtily. “Just try not to scream.”

“Hm. I like the sound of that!”

“Are you a masochist?”

“Hmmm,” Naruto trailed off, mulling it over. “I never thought of myself as one. But you’re making me wonder.”

There was a short but comfortable pause.

“Are you a masochist?” Naruto asked.

“Definitely. But just as much a sadist.”

Naruto felt his cheeks grow warmer, but he wouldn’t let on. He wanted to appear nothing but cool and collected to Sasuke, if only for the sake of his pride.

“I thought you must be a masochist. Did it hurt to get your dick pierced?”

Sasuke stopped working for a moment, and Naruto tried to imagine Sasuke’s facial expression.

“The hell? That was random.”

“Yup,” Naruto responded, not sounding the slightest bit put off. “It was kinda on my mind ever since I found out. I’m a curious son of a bitch, ya know?”

“So I’ve noticed.”

“So, were you gonna answer me or not?”

“No, it didn’t hurt. It felt like a cool rain on a warm summer’s day.”

Naruto laughed, trying to keep his body still.

“You ask stupid questions.”

“Awww, what a boring answer!”

“In all seriousness, it didn’t hurt anywhere near as badly as you probably are imagining.”

“Pft, typical response, coming from the guy who falls asleep getting tattoos,” Naruto grumbled.

“It did hurt a little, but it felt kind of weird if anything. For a reverse PA, all you have to do is put a receiving tube through the urethra and…”

“LA, LA, LA,” Naruto shouted loudly, moving a bit to place his hands over his ears. “I can’t hear you!”

“Stop. _Moving_ ,” Sasuke enunciated, now smacking his fist over Naruto’s head.

Naruto heard his teeth slap together.

“Ow!” Naruto whined, rubbing at the now sore area.

Though Naruto couldn’t help but be glad, on some level, that Sasuke was clearly becoming more comfortable with him.

“You asked, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. Oh man…” Naruto breathed. “Who did you trust that one to?”

“Only the best.”

Naruto grinned, believing he’d caught Sasuke in an admission.

“Oh ho! So you’re saying that _you’re_ not the best then?”

“When did I say that?” Sasuke answered impishly.

“Just now! ‘Best’ means better than everyone else. There can only be one.”

He swore he heard Sasuke snicker under his breath.

Naruto felt his stomach drop.

“Wait… You didn’t… uh…”

He totally did.

“You pierced your own dick, didn’t you?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I could do those in my sleep.”

And Naruto thought that _he_ had nerves of steel. Sasuke was a trooper, that was for sure.

“Does it… What does it feel like?”

“I normally don’t notice it, like the rest of my piercings. But it feels great during sex. I get stimulation through the urethra, so it’s a different feel.”

Even Sasuke mentioning sex made him remember taking Sasuke’s cock deep in his throat, the feeling of Sasuke balls deep inside of him, how gorgeous Sasuke looked once Naruto finally removed his blindfold.

He was already imagining himself ordering Sasuke to stop inking him, sitting up in the chair, and yanking Sasuke on top of him. Naruto was the stronger of the two, after all. He could make Sasuke feel that pain he craved so much, and he didn’t mind Sasuke dealing out some pain to Naruto in return.

“What about the ones underneath?”

“They’re good, but not as dramatic as my reverse PA. Those are good contrast when I’m hard. Just from friction, they get tugged and rub against it.”

And so suddenly, Naruto felt himself go the slightest bit hard. Oh no. He was seriously popping a boner right in Sasuke’s chair. Sakura would have had a field day with this.

If Sasuke figured this out, it would be the end of Naruto’s ego, right here and now. He’d already fainted while getting inked. A boner now? Naruto blushed, the protrusion against the chair quite uncomfortable.

“You’re so curious. Considering getting it done yourself?” Sasuke teased.

“NO. That’s a negative. No to the power of infinity. Nooo way in hell am I putting metal in my dick.”

Thank god. That helped stave that rapidly growing issue between his legs. It was as if it were retracting from pure, unadulterated fear. Nope, he would protect Naruto Jr. at all costs.

“That’s a shame,” Sasuke teased.

Though that hadn’t been a _cure_ for his budding erection.

“Since I don’t have any, I’ll have to play with yours even more.”

“I can live with that,” Sasuke answered sinfully.

Jesus, why was he still so hard? The private rooms were both a blessing and a curse. The only way to fix this problem was with silence. He tried to think of anything and everything else besides the man marking his back, leaving ink there that would remain with him until the day he died.

“This is a flattering angle for you, Naruto,” Sasuke murmured. One of the hands resting on Naruto’s back rubbed against his side, kneading into the sturdy muscles there. “The fox goes so well with your body shape. It’d be perfect if you didn’t have these on.”

At that, Sasuke gave Naruto’s denim waistband a soft tug.

Naruto felt his face go red, from his cheeks to the very tips of his ears. No way Sasuke didn’t notice that.

“You have a really nice ass.”

The way Sasuke remained so composed while saying these things, not even stopping his efforts for an instant… It made Naruto want to slap him.

“Is this that sadism you were talking about?” Naruto groaned. “Seriously, I’m stuck in this chair not even able to move an inch, and you’re talking about stuff like this…”

“I’m not going to give you a hard on, am I?”

Naruto paused for a moment, wondering is Sasuke was actually on to him. Sasuke’s tone was full of mischief.

But unfortunately, it seemed as though Naruto’s silence had spoken for him.

“I don’t have a boner!”

“No, of course you don’t.”

“I hate you!”

Sasuke chuckled under his breath, his laughter low and subdued. Naruto loved the sound of it, though he still did want to slap Sasuke across the face.

“Calm down,” Sasuke told him, but his voice was patient. “Think about something boring. Miniature golf and taxes.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I kick ass at miniature golf!”

“Good for you.”

It did, actually, help Naurto keep his mind off of Sasuke.

“Hey, Sasuke…”

“Hm?”

“I actually wanted to talk to you...about the whole relationship thing.”

“Go ahead.”

Sasuke didn’t seem disturbed by it, judging from the fact that his movements didn’t hitch for an instant.

“I… I didn’t mean to come off as creepy or anything that night. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You’re fine. Don’t stress about it.”

“I’m gonna be honest… Yeah, I’d love to date you and be in a committed relationship. But if that’s not what you want to do, I’m not going to keep pressuring you to do it. That’s not right.”

Sasuke sighed.

“I should have said something earlier. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I honestly didn’t expect things to move so fast.”

Naruto nodded.

“But… When you said your other relationships were superficial… Didn’t those move quickly?”

“Very quickly. But this is different.”

“How so?”

Sasuke paused, seeming to need some time to think. The needle parted from Naruto’s back.

“Those people were more like toys. I was barely a level above just knowing their names, though at least I was honest with them about it.”

“I see…”

He wanted to ask how many of them there had been, though even Naruto recognized that this was too forward of a question.

“You could almost say that this is my first time…”

“Being in a…” Naruto continued. “Relationship? Can we call it that if we’re not committed?”

“You can call it whatever you want,” Sasuke answered.

“An open relationship,” Naruto added, grinning. “So if we’re in an open relationship, does that mean we’re like… Boyfriends?”

The thought of calling Sasuke his boyfriend made him almost giddy. No, Sasuke wasn’t his. But calling him his boyfriend would be a way for him to tell the world what Sasuke was to him, and what he was to Sasuke.

“You can call me that if it makes you happy.”

Naruto couldn’t help the beaming grin that saturated his face.

“The important thing is that you understand that I’m not committing to you or the future of this relationship. For the time being, I’m not looking for anything long-term, and there will probably be other people.”

“For the time being,” Sasuke had said.

“Are you ruling it out?”

“No. I don’t know the future. But this is about me, not about you. It’s not like you can win me over into a long-term deal with some determination and elbow grease.”

So, there _was_ a chance...

“Sasuke…” Naruto began, and already he felt a little lost, not knowing if he wanted to continue. “You keep saying that it’s about you, saying that you don’t know if you’re capable. You talk like you’re broken or something.”

“Not broken. I’ve always been different, in many senses. I’m proud of that.”

Naruto couldn’t debate that. He’d never met someone like Sasuke before.

“Would you ever want to be in a relationship like that? I mean, if you could just get past everything and stay with someone for the rest of your life?”

“I don’t know,” Sasuke answered thoughtfully. “It’s hard to imagine.”

“Yeah. Honestly, it’s a little tough for me to imagine too,” Naruto admitted. “I know that I want to be in a relationship like that some day, but it seems so far away.”

“Mn,” Sasuke mumbled, placing his other hand on Naruto’s back to find the proper angle.

He couldn’t help hoping that it was the two of them that ended up together. But then again, his infatuation was probably a large part of this. Despite how wonderful he felt spending time with Sasuke, Sasuke had been right when he said that they’d hardly known each other for long. They could be completely incompatible.

The only thing that could fix that was time.

“Hey, Sasuke…”

“Hm?”

His heartbeat quickened, slightly. But he wouldn’t fuck up this time around. He’d be confident. It felt easier, since they’d shared much more of themselves with each other.

“I want to take you up on your offer. Go with me to Coney Island at night.”

“Sure.”

Nailed it!

“When’s good?”

“I don’t have work Saturday, so that morning would work for me.”

“Great. Let’s meet outside the subway station.”

He was taking initiative. It made him sweat a little. He sounded much more confident than he felt, but he needed to keep up with Sasuke.

“You do learn. Eventually.”

“Huh?” Naruto asked, trying not to tilt his head. It could cause his body to move too much.

“You’ve finally learned how to ask someone out.”

“Bastard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bittersweet, no? Sasuke is a realist.
> 
> Anyhow, it has been crazy lately, with my mother-in-law being in town and some other things that have gone down. Sorry I'm late a day, and I reeeallly want to finally respond to everyone's wonderful comments. Oh my gawd you guys.


	9. The Beach At Night

“yo, im here,” Naruto texted Sasuke, his fingers pressing each number as many times as it needed to in order to produce the correct letter.

He should’ve just bitten the bullet and bought one of those phones with the QWERTY-style physical keyboards. He certainly did not have the patience for this, but his barista salary didn’t leave him many options.

He looked out at the ocean, sitting underneath the ferris wheel as Sasuke had told him. The wheel, packed with so many tourists and even locals in the day, stood quiet and dark. The waxing moon perched above him, three quarters full.

Naruto’s phone buzzed again.

“I can see you, dumbass,” Naruto’s phone informed him.

“Wha?” Naruto spoke aloud, despite himself.

He twisted his head around, the street lights and moon offering only a dim illumination. He finally saw Sasuke leaning against the fence, close enough that Naruto could hear him smirk. Sasuke cast him a quick and mocking wave.

“You’re a sneaky son of a bitch,” Naruto laughed, making his way up to Sasuke.

“No, you’re just oblivious.”

Sasuke pushed himself away from the fence and stood. Naruto jabbed Sasuke in the arm, just enough to hurt.

“You should try calling someone’s name when you’re looking for them. Crazy idea, I know.”

“No. It was too entertaining watching you get lost.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Naruto said with a smile.

“Haven’t we already established that?”

Naruto grabbed Sasuke by the forearm, pulling him out into the sand.

“Damn, you were right,” Naruto mused.

The ferris wheel emitted the quietest creaking sound as the wind pushed it forward, waves sleepily lapping at the shore.

“It’s different at night. It’s so peaceful, almost eerie.”

“Just like how I remember it,” Sasuke mused, gazing off toward the water.

The black expanse was lit up with the moonlight, making the waves farther offshore appear as if they were coated by sparkling crystals, all the way out to the horizon.

“When was the last time you were here?”

“Six years ago, back when I lived in Brooklyn.”

Naruto nodded. He could barely discern Sasuke’s clothing: ripped jeans and what appeared to be a dark purple jacket.

They walked together farther out into the sand. Sasuke had brought a backpack with him. He took off his sneakers and put them in his sack, rolling his jeans up to just below his knees. Sasuke had pretty nice calves, Naruto noted.

The wind was chilly, making Naruto wish that he’d brought a jacket as well.

“Why didn’t you ever go back?”

“No reason to. It’s too inconvenient now.”

Naruto continued walking, thinking about all the times Sasuke must have come here in the past, back when he was still a teenager, or maybe just barely into his 20’s. Despite Sasuke’s reserved air, he felt in some way privileged that Sasuke was taking him here.

“It’s soothing,” Naruto mused.

Sasuke nodded.

“This city…is so loud and chaotic. I value silence.”

Naruto watched Sasuke silently. He had lived in Manhattan for most of his life, yet he continued to seek out ways to be alone: living at the top of a high rise, going isolated places like his parlor at night…

“Do you ever think of leaving?”

Sasuke was silent for a while, appearing to need some time to think.

“It’s convenient to be so close to the parlor. But who knows...”

“Yeah…” Naruto answered. “I love Manhattan. I love all the people. But every now and again, I miss the night sky back in Texas.”

Sasuke nodded, both of them keeping a lazy pace.

“Which really says something, because I fucking hated Texas,” Naruto added with a laugh. “But sometimes, at night, you could look up and see the Milky Way. There were so many stars. It was like you were underneath a paper bowl, and someone just pricked it a bunch of times with a safety pin.”

“That’s a weird analogy,” Sasuke muttered.

“Well, I’m a weird person,” Naruto answered with a bright grin.

“That’s fine. So am I.”

“You, weird?” Naruto asked. “Man, you seem pretty normal to me. Like you would’ve been the popular alternative kid in school or something. You probably had the whole ‘bad boy’ motif goin’ for you.”

“I was popular. I can understand why.”

“Hah!” Naruto laughed. “You are so arrogant. Get over yourself!”

“I’m confident,” Sasuke answered, not sounding the slightest bit ruffled. “People are drawn to that.”

Naruto shrugged.

“I think I coulda been popular enough. Not like...prep popular, but popular. I just kept moving so much that it was tough.”

“Sounds shitty.”

Naruto shrugged.

“Eh, kinda, but whatever. Did you hang on to anyone you met in high school, Mr. Popular?”

Sasuke paused for a moment.

“I didn’t have many close friends in high school, but there is one guy I still talk to.”

“What’s he like?” Naruto asked, curious yet again. Naruto already made the mental transition from thinking of Sasuke as his tattoo artist to thinking of him as a lover who just happened to be tattooing him. Naturally, he wanted to know more about Sasuke’s life outside of the parlor.

“He’s obnoxious. A total know-it-all.”

“Hah!” Naruto laughed. “Sounds like a spittin’ image of you!”

“No, he’s worse.”

“By ‘worse,’ do you mean more obnoxious, or smarter?”

Sasuke sighed, hesitating before answering Naruto.

“Both.”

“Ha! Oh man, I can’t believe you admitted to that.”

Naruto pointed his finger at Sasuke, as if he’d just caught him in an embarrassing moment.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Looking at his IQ, he’s the smartest person I’ve ever known.”

“Wow…” Naruto answered, now feeling a little insecure. “Like how smart we talkin’ here?”

“Statistically, his IQ puts him at roughly one out of roughly a billion, though the accuracy of these tests is questionable once you hit a certain level. But he’s too lazy, so I ended up running circles around him.”

“Damn, that’s insane!” Naruto answered, at first too shocked by the guy’s ungodly IQ to even say anything else. “That’s how it is though. Doesn’t matter how great of a brain you have if you don’t get off your ass.”

Sasuke snickered.

“In the end, maybe I was the smarter one.”

“It kills you, doesn’t it?” Naruto said with a wicked grin. “Being second place.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I never said I was second place.”

“Uh huh,” Naruto answered smugly, intentionally working his sandal under the sand and kicking it into the air.

“You keep in touch with anyone from high school?”

“Yeah…” Naruto replied, and he was unsettled when he noticed some sadness in his tone. “Yup, I sure do!”

“Ah…”

Sasuke tone told Naruto that he hadn’t missed that sadness. Not for an instant.

“She’s, uh…”

Sasuke’s eyes met his, and if he didn’t know any better, he could’ve sworn he saw concern.

“Oh, she’s not dead or anything! Not like that. She’s just fine.”

For now, anyway.

“I assumed. It’s difficult to stay in touch with a dead person.”

Naruto laughed nervously, feeling his cheeks go warmer.

“She’s my best friend. We were really close back when I lived in Texas. We lost touch for a few years after that. Then I met her training in basic! Can you believe it? It was crazy!”

“I see,” Sasuke replied.

They walked on in silence.

“Naruto, you don’t sound very happy.”

Naruto was surprised that Sasuke had pressed. It was something he could have easily ignored, as Naruto was giving him plentiful leeway to do.

“Nah… Guess not,” Naruto sighed. “But it’ll all work out.”

Sasuke tilted his head.

“What’s up?”

Naruto wouldn’t have guessed that Sasuke would be thoughtful like this. Sasuke had told Naruto that he was selfish, that he wasn’t a good person. Yet nothing Naruto had seen Sasuke do lined up with that statement.

“That’s a downer,” Naruto answered with a forced, awkward laugh.

“I give you permission.”

Naruto sighed. Was this really a good idea? They weren’t a committed couple. But they were friends, arguably boyfriends. Even Sasuke had confirmed that. Despite Sasuke’s newness to his life, having slept with Sasuke made him feel closer.

He had yet to figure out how he could simultaneously feel so nervous yet so comfortable in front of Sasuke. Nervous, because it seemed that at any minute, he could lose Sasuke. He wasn’t accustomed to feeling like this.

And comfortable because… He couldn’t explain it. Their pasts were nothing alike, and he had only known Sasuke for just over a month. Despite Sasuke’s abrasiveness, he was an easy person to talk to. He never got the feeling that he was depressing Sasuke, or that Sasuke pitied him. There was an unspoken understanding, Naruto felt.

_It is what it is._

Naruto inferred that this was the way Sasuke thought. And Sasuke never showed reluctance in listening.

“Her unit was deployed. She left a couple weeks ago.”

What was wrong with him, putting such a sober mood on their night?

“‘S rough.”

“Yeah, it’s…” Naruto sighed. “I haven’t really talked to anyone about it. But it doesn’t feel good.”

“Are you afraid?”

The blunt, straight-forward way Sasuke had of asking the question took Naruto aback. But again… This is why he felt comfortable telling Sasuke such things. He never buckled.

Naruto nodded, completely silent.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Naruto was torn by indecision. What was it about Sasuke that left Naruto such an open book? Why did he feel such a strong need to connect?

Despite all of those things, was it really safe to share his problems with someone he was just barely getting to know? Would Sasuke just see him as a downer with waaay too much baggage?

No. He didn’t know Sasuke well, but he did know that Sasuke was honest. Painfully honest, and he didn’t put on airs just because he felt it was expected or polite. If Sasuke was talking to him, and he was asking him about his feelings, then… He really must want to help.

“I guess? I don’t know.”

Naruto felt his face grow warmer, knowing he was coming off awkward.

“I mean, what do you say about something like this? It’s freaky. The country was at peace when we enlisted. I was trying to get through college. Boot camp was hard work; don’t get me wrong. But it felt like training. It didn’t feel like…” Naruto swallowed. “War.”

Naruto had gotten started now, but Sasuke didn’t interrupt him.

“But this… This is war. It’s late morning over there… Sakura could be defending her life literally right now, as we speak.”

Sasuke paused.

“I see why you’re scared. I think I would be too.”

Naruto appreciated the admission. Sasuke didn’t seem like the sort who would scare easily, so Sasuke saying this made him feel validated. It made him feel as though he could continue.

“But just as easily… Any time, any day, I could get the same call. This could be the last time I walk on this beach. I get nervous whenever my phone rings, because there’s always the thought in the back of my mind that it could be the call. Training is fine. Dying… I mean, even that… I obviously don’t want to die, but it’s not terrifying to me in the same way as…”

Naruto was running out of breath. Sasuke was quiet. Likely, he knew that he should wait for Naruto to finish his sentence.

“War is killing. Killing other people, watching your friends die… I feel guilty sometimes even killing bugs. We knew… We knew when we enlisted that this could happen. But it was abstract back then. Nothing could prepare me for this.”

Naruto was looking down. His eyes were watering, though there was no way that Sasuke could notice this through the darkness. How had he lost control so easily? It was embarrassing. Sasuke’s hand, heavy and large, rested upon his shoulder. It brought Naruto out of his head in a way that only Sasuke’s touch could do.

“You know, Naruto… If they call you, you don’t have to go. No one has a right to judge you.”

“No,” Naruto answered, shaking his head fervently. “I made an oath to serve my country. I won’t take the coward’s way out.”

Sasuke nodded, biting his lip and eyeing the sand. He looked back at Naruto.

“Then all the more important to remember times like these, hm?”

Naruto’s breath hitched. He was on the beach, at night, hearing the waves brushing the shore. Sasuke was beside him, and he felt safe. He felt… Despite everything, he felt happy. He wanted to be present in this moment. He didn’t want to let it slip.

“I’m not very good at this sort of thing, but I consider you my friend,” Sasuke added thoughtfully. “You can talk to me about this stuff.”

Sasuke seemed to think that he’d done a lackluster job in comforting Naruto. He was wrong.

“Thank you for taking me here, Sasuke,” Naruto said. “You were right… Nights have a way of making you honest.”

Sasuke probably didn’t know it, but he had been helping Naruto, all this time. He was something for Naruto to look forward to.

“Of course…” Sasuke answered. “I’d go here at times like that… When my brain was all jumbled up. It had a way of settling me down.”

Was it possible that he was standing at the very same point that Sasuke had stood, six years ago, trying to find some peace as thoughts whipped through his brain like a tornado?

“At least I’m working towards a goal. I...really do want to become a teacher.”

“When did you figure that out?”

“I was sixteen and basically couldn’t be reasoned with. But there was a teacher, back in Texas… He had a way of getting through to me, and I think he changed who I am. And I thought that if I could do the same for some other kid, I’d feel really happy about it.”

Sasuke let out a long sigh.

“Damn, what a softie…”

“Hey!” Naruto answered, jabbing Sasuke on the upper arm. That only caused Sasuke to snicker.

“Am not,” Naruto grumbled.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Naruto let out a huff, still not appeased.

“I was the same, at that age. No one could get through to me. Actually…”

Sasuke stopped to consider.

“I’m smarter than I used to be, but I still do whatever I want. Once I have a goal, getting in my way is like trying to stop a train by standing on the tracks.”

“And you don’t care what anyone thinks?”

“Unless someone gives me new information, no one can change my decisions.”

“Really?” Naruto asked. “No one?”

“No one.”

Naruto chuckled. Sasuke was...unique. He’d never met anyone so decisive and self-assured, so intense and demanding of everything life had to offer. To Naruto, he felt like a force of nature.

“Was it like that, when you decided what you wanted to be an artist?”

“Yes,” Sasuke answered.

Naruto was surprised that Sasuke had actually answered him. He’d asked what was basically the same of Sasuke, during one of their first sessions. He’d quickly changed the topic. He’d revealed a lot of himself to Sasuke that night. Maybe this was his response.

“My family didn’t want me near the profession. We didn’t have money, and in their minds, going to college to become a doctor or something was the only way to get out of poverty. Certainly not being an artist, and least of all, a tattoo artist.”

This wasn’t what he’d expected. He’d had the impression that Sasuke was from a wealthy family. His brother was a doctor, his mother was a musical prodigy, Sasuke was internationally traveled and respected, and even thinking about how much Sasuke’s place must cost made his head spin. Yet Sasuke had just admitted that he’d grown up in poverty.

“Really? You grew up poor?” Naruto asked timidly. “Like...really poor?”

“Well… We were homeless for four months once. Stayed in my mom’s friend’s garage. In general, we couldn’t afford utilities half of the time. They almost took me away.”

Naruto was shocked, though he tried his best to hide it. It seemed like Sasuke had been even poorer than Naruto had been, but the last thing Sasuke would ever want was pity.

Naruto gave a small chuckle.

“When I was with one of my families, the hot water went out for two months. We’d boil some water and then put it with some cold.”

Sasuke smirked.

“Yeah, we did the same. My mom had this six gallon pot that she’d fill up with boiled water. Once I was big enough, we’d take it up the stairs together. You could get the water pretty warm that way.”

Naruto nodded fervently, excited that he was meeting someone who actually understood what this had been like. What Sasuke was saying took him way back.

“Exactly! And of course there are like three bottles of condiments in the fridge but nothing to put them on!” Naruto vented.

Sasuke chuckled under his breath, adding, “Yeah, and maybe a six pack of instant ramen and a couple cans of off-brand Spaghetti-Os or green beans.”

Naruto laughed. He could understand why Sasuke’s parents had been so adamant about Sasuke finding a well-paid job. He could almost hear the fights Sasuke and his parents used to have. Hell, in their situation, Naruto might have pushed Sasuke to go to college too.

“You didn’t go to college?”

“I did, actually,” Sasuke answered. “From the start, I intended on owning a parlor. The obvious goal was to become a better artist, but I didn’t want to neglect any skills or qualifications that could help me as a businessman.”

Naruto nodded.

“Man, you really are calculated.”

“I know what it looks like to people on the surface…” Sasuke murmured. “But I didn’t choose this career just to stick it to my parents. The reason is simple. I chose it because it’s what I wanted to do.”

Naruto looked at Sasuke, his bottom jaw slacking just slightly. He couldn’t help but admire him for his ambition, confidence, and persistence.

“Stop looking at me like that. It’s creepy.”

Naruto quickly jumbled up, flustered.

“Oh, I just have shit for an attention span. I’m like a goldfish or something.”

He had, actually, been formally diagnosed with ADHD as a child. The only reason he knew this was that it was kept in his files and given to his foster families. But he was making excuses here.

“So you weren’t listening to my heartfelt confessions?” Sasuke asked with mock hurt. Sasuke, clearly, knew exactly why Naruto had stared at him. God, he could be such a dick sometimes.

“Speaking of heartfelt confessions…” Naruto began in a sing-song tone of voice. “You never told me… How young were you when you got your first tattoo?”

“Still not telling.”

“Why?

“Because it’s illegal to get a tattoo when you’re thirteen.”

Wait… What?!

“Wait! You just told me!” Naruto pointed. “Why didn’t you just say that when I asked?”

“I didn’t tell you anything,” Sasuke said, clucking his tongue.

“Oh. Alright. Yes, of course you didn’t,” Naruto answered, trying not to laugh. “Come on, seriously, what could I have possibly done? How would I even find out who did it?”

Sasuke tilted his brow, leaning his head towards Naruto.

“Talking to new customers about breaking the law is not good business sense.”

“Hey,” Naruto whined. “I wasn’t just a customer. I was cool!”

Sasuke just snickered. Naruto rolled his eyes, knowing that Sasuke’s lack of verbal answer clearly was a response of its own. Well… To be fair, Naruto did sort of faint his first time.

“What did ya get?”

“This,” Sasuke put his hand down, pointing to the web of his right hand, where that small, circular fan was that he recognized.

“Woah!” Naruto practically shouted. “You got your first one on your hand at the age of thirteen?! That’s crazy!”

“I would’ve gotten it anyway, but I’ll admit…” Sasuke conceded, tilting his head and sighing. “This one was my way of giving my father the middle finger.”

“Didn’t you worry, getting a tattoo so young? What if you got older and wanted to do something else?”

“Honestly, I’d never had any doubt about doing it. I just couldn’t imagine doing anything else.”

Naruto related. Teaching… He hadn’t been set on it as long as Sasuke had been set on his career, but he just knew that it was what he wanted to do.

“How old were you when you first got into it?”

Sasuke was quiet for a while, obviously in thought.

“I guess you could say when I was five. I saw something on TV, they told me. I started drawing all over myself with colored pens.”

Naruto couldn’t help but guffaw at that. The idea of seeing Sasuke as a little kid covered in different sorts of pen ink was...pretty much adorable. But damn, that sort of ambition was rare with kids.

“That was some serious foreshadowing,” Naruto could barely speak because he was laughing so hard. “Did you keep doing that?”

“No. When I got a few years older, I started just drawing on a small area of skin. Erase in a couple days and redraw something different. As often as I did it, the idea of actually making a career out of it didn’t occur to me until I entered middle school. After that, I was just a lost cause. Got my first tat soon after. The apprenticeship did not start at fifteen, by the way…”

“Oh, you were sneaky!” Naruto teased, jostling Sasuke’s frame.

“That never changed,” Sasuke answered, giving him a devilish smirk that made the air feel a few degrees warmer.

“All a means to an end…” Sasuke trailed off.

“You know what? I’m gonna get through all of this. I’ll get through the war too and be there for Sakura. Then I’m going to go to college and study as hard as I can. I’ll ace it! Then I’ll study and become the best damned teacher ever! Because I’m like you,” Naruto told Sasuke with a smile.

Sasuke raised his brows, awaiting Naruto’s response.

“Once I have a goal, trying to stop me is like standing on train tracks!” Naruto answered, his grin absolutely beaming light.

Wait a second… Standing on train tracks…

“Wait…” Naruto paused, in thought.

Goddammit.

And of course, Sasuke was laughing now. Sasuke never laughed, and the sound of it was so warming that he couldn’t stay mad at him. Sasuke sounded...happy.

“Nice try, teach,” Sasuke quipped.

“You get it! Determination! Ambition! Rah rah rah!” he shouted out, tackling Sasuke in a tight bear hug and trying to swing him about in his merriment.

Sasuke didn’t budge!

“Holy crap, you’re not even moving!”

Naruto couldn’t help but announce it aloud. One of the things he’d done best at camp was tackle. It was shocking that Sasuke hadn’t even wobbled a hair, especially given that Sasuke’s frame was leaner. Some of the sturdiest guys at boot camp might have lost their balance.

“Yes. Sparring is a thing.”

“You spar?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“A kid growing up in ghetto Brooklyn needs to know how to fight.”

Sasuke never failed to surprise him.

“Do you wanna scrap?” Naruto asked, in the tone of voice he’d use to ask a dog if they wanted to be walked.

“Are you asking me to fight you?” Sasuke inquired, arching a brow.

“Duh!”

“No thanks,” Sasuke answered. “You’re specifically trained for combat. I learned what I needed to learn.”

“Awww!” Naruto answered, sounding way too disappointed. “I could give myself a handicap!”

“That’s even worse,” Sasuke replied, rolling his eyes.

“Fine. Well, if you don’t wanna fight…” Naruto trailed off. “I have to get my exercise somehow. C’mon!”

Without waiting for Sasuke’s response, Naruto sprinted toward the shore. Sasuke’s footsteps paused for a moment before he ran down to join him. Naruto bent over, placing his fingers in the water.

“Oh maaaan, that’s cold!”

Sasuke stood about one body’s length away, watching Naruto.

“C’mon! Feel the water!” Naruto shouted, gesturing Sasuke near him.

“No need.”

“C’mon! Weren’t you talking about these moments mattering? Use your senses!”

“Yes. While you’re at it, why don’t you just drink it?” Sasuke teased.

“Hmmm…” Naruto licked his finger, still wet from the water. “Salty!”

“How old are you again?” Sasuke asked, leaning on his right foot with crossed arms.

“I’m tactile,” Naruto corrected. “I like to touch things.”

“Oh, I know you do,” Sasuke answered suggestively.

“Out of context!” Naruto shouted back, but he felt himself blush a little.

Sasuke walked down to the water, standing and looking out toward the horizon lazily. He looked so incredibly peaceful at that moment. He bent down and placed his hand in the water, the sight of Sasuke’s silhouette sending Naruto into a daze.

It was just long enough for Sasuke to cup the water in his hand and throw it directly at Naruto.

“How’s that for using your senses?”

Naruto jumped back, laughing, as if he were a puppy being asked to fetch.

“Oh, you little bastard! I’m getting you!”

Naruto put both hands in the water, sending it Sasuke’s way. Sasuke dodged, returning the favor.

Naruto felt like he was eight years old again, thoughts of the war, thoughts of Sakura floating to the back of his mind over the sound of splashing water. He sent another wave at Sasuke, inadvertently aiming a bit too high and hitting Sasuke’s face.

“Dumbass, that got in my eye,” Sasuke griped as he wiped the water away.

As soon as Sasuke had finished, he flipped Naruto onto his back with a strength that Naruto had no idea he possessed. It was not easy to topple him!

There was a loud plunk as he hit the water, like the sound of a rock being thrown into a river. Naruto’s back hit sand as he shimmed upward, water gently lapping at his sides now. He grabbed Sasuke by the shirt, pulling him down so that he was on top of him.

Sasuke pinned Naruto’s hands against the sand, presumably to stop Naruto from getting him any wetter. Naruto saw through the light of the moon that some spots of Sasuke’s hair were just barely wet.

Sasuke paused for a moment, a sinful smirk on his face. And only at that moment did Naruto process what position he was in. He blushed and hoped that in the moonlight, Sasuke hadn’t noticed.

“You look good from this angle.”

“I look good from every angle,” Naruto answered with a cheeky grin.

“I can’t argue with that. I just have a thing for being on top of you.”

Woah. Naruto felt his heart thud, and he licked his lips. He reached up and cupped his hand up to Sasuke’s cheek. Sasuke leaned against it, straddling the line between intimacy and lust.

“One day, you’re gonna be the one beneath me.”

Sasuke raised his brows just slightly, mockingly almost.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, it is. You know, I’ve been dreaming about fucking you ever since you were inside of me.”

Sasuke sucked on his lip piercing, as he so often tended to do. An oral fixation?

“I want to make you feel that way too. And god, if I wouldn’t love filling up that gorgeous ass of yours to the brim.”

Now Naruto felt much more in his element. The more he got to know Sasuke, the more real, the more human he felt to him. He never had been an insecure person by nature. His confidence was returning to him in waves.

“Jesus…” Sasuke whispered.

“That turns you on, huh? You couldn’t hide it if you tried. And you’re trying not to get hard now, because you know that I’d feel it on my stomach first thing.”

When Sasuke didn’t answer him, Naruto licked his lips and continued.

“Aren’t you trying to think of boring things now? Like paper clips. Taxes. Anything to distract yourself from the thought of my cock balls deep in you.”

Sasuke took locks of Naruto’s hair in his fist.

“You talk too much,” Sasuke answered, leaning over and kissing him ferociously.

Sasuke bit Naruto’s lip, tugging outward. Their tongues lashed against each other, and Naruto succumbed to a loud moan. They parted for a moment.

“I don’t have...a condom or lube,” Naruto breathed out, stealing a break. Their lips had been sealed for a while now.

“Neither do I,” Sasuke answered. “I’ll take a rain check. But I like it both ways. Don’t think this means I’m giving up on pounding your ass.”

Naruto reached up, planting another firm kiss on Sasuke’s lips.

“I’d never want you to.”

As they kissed, Naruto toyed with Sasuke’s tongue stud and tugged up at his shirt, wanting to feel his skin on Sasuke’s. He was surprised when Sasuke slapped his hand away.

“Your tattoo is still healing, idiot. Don’t get sand in it.”

“Goddammit,” Naruto somewhat whined, somewhat chuckled. “Why do you have to be so responsible?”

It felt as though the tide were coming in, the frigid water lapping at their calves.

“Lucky for you that mine aren’t,” Sasuke answered, gracefully taking his jacket and shirt off. “It’s damned cold. I hold you responsible for keeping me warm.”

The moonlight shone on Sasuke, highlighting the stark contrast between the ink and Sasuke’s pale skin, the definition of his lean muscles. This was framed by the backdrop of the nighttime beach. He was beautiful. What Naruto wouldn’t give for a photograph of this very moment...

“Jesus Christ, you’re like a work of art,” Naruto breathed out. The words emerged from his lips without his permission, but he didn’t regret saying them.

Sasuke edged his arm underneath Naruto’s shirt, his fingertips, just slightly coated with sand, scaling Naruto’s flesh. Sasuke bent over and kissed Naruto again.

Naruto’s hand rested on Sasuke’s chest, inadvertently brushing over the barbell through his nipple. He took it into his hands, playing with it between his thumb and index finger. Sasuke moaned into their kiss to express his approval. The bare flesh of their stomachs pressed together. God, if only he could do away with this damned shirt.

Sasuke’s mouth parted, now nipping at Naruto’s jawline, biting his neck. Now Sasuke was getting hard. As Naruto had said, there was no hiding it from him. However, the reverse was also true. He was sure that Sasuke could feel Naruto’s erection against his ass.

“You feel it?” Naruto asked, grinding his cock against the seat of Sasuke’s blue jeans.

“How could I not?”

“That’s how bad I want to fuck you. Think of it inside of you.”

“Mn,” Sasuke answered, his bravado not failing him. He unbuttoned his own pants, putting his waistband down just low enough for his reddened cock to spring free. He roughly tugged on Naruto’s pants, willing him to do the same.

Now Naruto lied on the ground beneath Sasuke, with Sasuke holding his body up with his right arm. He wiped the sand off of his left hand, then licked his palm. He reached down, pressing the heads of their sensitive manhoods together.

“Oh… God…” Naruto moaned out.

It was a simple touch, gentle even. But the intimacy it entailed made Naruto’s blood flush south. Sasuke’s piercings pressed against him, the small metal studs offering a welcome contrast to the warm flesh of Sasuke’s most sensitive parts. Sasuke took both of their cocks into his hand, pumping them evenly.

“Jesus, that’s… That’s amazing.”

Sasuke leaned over, whispering into Naruto’s ear, “You’re big, like me. I bet I’d feel amazing, stuffed full with you.”

“Nnn…” Naruto moaned, almost whined.

“You’ve wanted me so bad from the beginning. You were so. Very. Obvious.”

Sasuke’s hand kept pace, pumping together. Naruto felt precum leak from his tip. He couldn’t help but whimper at Sasuke’s words, blushing wantonly. It embarrassed him to admit that Sasuke was right. Had he been so obvious?

“Now you picture it. Picture yourself fucking me, from the back, from the front, staring down at my back or chest, whichever way you want to take me.”

“God… Sa-Sasuke…”

Sasuke picked up the speed, biting into Naruto’s neck, sucking at it so that he’d leave a dark mark behind. He knew Naruto would have to cover it up. He didn’t care.

Naruto could feel his orgasm coming, galvanized by Sasuke’s rough treatment. He couldn’t believe he’d already gotten so far in such a short amount of time. It was almost embarrassing. Sasuke’s lips parted from his neck, and at that very instant, Naruto licked over the tattoo spanning Sasuke’s chest, sucking on the skin to leave as dark of a mark behind as he could muster.

He knew it would stay with Sasuke, that it would last him for weeks along with the other, more permanent marks on Sasuke’s body. He rode the tide, thinking of fucking Sasuke, the view he’d have of the brilliant phoenix adorning his back and the tight muscles along his side, Sasuke’s snug warmth around him. And he felt himself unravel, one large spurt dripping down their cocks and Sasuke’s hand.

“That’s it, Naruto. Cum for me.”

A loud moan ripped out of Naruto’s throat as another spurt left him, then another. He felt adrenaline course through his veins, heard the waves against the shore, felt the coldness of the sea foam on his legs. But Sasuke… He was still hard.

“S-Sasuke…” Naruto panted out, now winded. “Straddle your legs on top of my face.”

“You’re exhausted. I can…”

“No, c’mere,” Naruto insisted, tugging Sasuke up by his arm. In the heat of the moment, Sasuke might have forgotten how strong Naruto was.

Sasuke obeyed, parting his legs so that his cock dangled down. Despite the blissful stupor Naruto was in, he wanted Sasuke to feel just as good as he did. He sucked on Sasuke’s head, circling his tongue around the stud.

“Don’t tease me,” Sasuke groaned. “You already got off.”

“You want it?”

“The fuck do you think? Of course I do.”

“Then beg,” Naruto answered, grinning.

“Oh, no,” Sasuke responded, somehow able to pack laughter into his tone despite the situation. “That’s not how this works. I don’t beg. I order.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate for you then, sweetcheeks. Because I’m not a slave.”

“I can get myself off just as easily, Naruto,” Sasuke answered, losing none of his defiance. “Hey, can you taste your own cum on me?”

Jesus, that asshole… He knew just what he was doing, knew that Naruto was eating out of his hand.

“Do you like the way I taste?”

Naruto nodded.

“Yeah…”

“Then suck me.”

Naruto glanced up at Sasuke, stared him down even from beneath him. His challenging eyes made it clear to Sasuke that he had no fear, no hesitation. That he was making his own decision.

He took Sasuke half-way back into his mouth, bobbing his head back and forth and tugging at the piercing on the tip of his cock. Sasuke leaned forward and put both hands into the sand to brace himself.

“Good… Don’t stop…”

Naruto knew what Sasuke liked. He dug his nails into Sasuke’s back and clawed downward, picturing the long and angry red marks he was leaving behind.. He heard Sasuke emit a soft, long moan.

“Naruto, I’m gonna cum…”

Sasuke’s hips bucked once, then twice. Naruto used one hand to leave yet another set of scratch marks down Sasuke’s back, while the other reached toward Sasuke’s front, grabbing his nipple piercing and tugging.

“Ah!”

Sasuke finally unleashed onto Naruto’s face, cum dribbling down Naruto’s mouth and cheek. Sasuke slipped off to the side, letting out another spurt on the sand, and then another smaller one. Sasuke was breathing, slow and deep, lying on his back and staring up at the moonlit sky. Naruto did the same.

“Jesus…” Naruto panted out. “That felt really good.”

“Yeah…” Sasuke breathed out.

They were silent for several more minutes, Sasuke draping his jacket over the two of them, their clothes now damp.

“Hey… Thanks for hearing me out back there.”

“Don’t mention it,” Sasuke answered.

“You’re a good man.”

A few more seconds passed.

“There’s no need to reassure me. I’m not a good person, nor am I a particularly bad one. I’m fine with that.”

Naruto sighed. He didn’t understand where Sasuke was coming from, but for now, he would leave this rest.

* * *

Nearly a week passed. He hadn’t seen Sasuke even once since that night in Coney Island, and did he ever miss him.

At least they had a lazy communication going back and forth over e-mail, because Naruto hated texting with the outdated phone he had. They didn’t write each other more than a couple lines, but seldom would more than a day pass without a response. He knew that Sasuke was a fan of this new Chinese takeout place that moved in by his parlor and that he was getting his piano tuned soon.

He wanted to call Sasuke, but he had no idea what he’d say. He wanted to get closer to Sasuke, wanted to meet with him once more.

This afternoon, he sat and watched a rerun of Friends, curled up on his couch. His phone rang.

Jiraiya. Why was Jiraiya, his sergeant, calling him? His stomach felt as if it had been thrown in ice water. He muted the television.

“Hello, sir,” Naruto answered politely.

“How are you today?”

Naruto wasn’t interested in small talk. Not when it came to this.

“I’m good. You?”

He had been trained to be respectful to his superiors. The sound of his own words, so formal and polite, surprised him. It felt as if they’d emerged without his permission.

“I’m well.”

A short pause.

“Sir, are you calling for the reason I think you’re calling?”

Another pause, and while lasting just a couple of seconds, it was excruciating, his heart racing.

“Yes. Naruto, your unit is deploying.”

Naruto dropped his remote, jaw hung open.

This was it. This was the very thing he feared. It felt so unreal, yet so entirely predictable that this was happening.

“When?” he finally forced himself to say.

“Two weeks.”

Two weeks. Half of a month. This is how long he had until he would leave everything he ever knew. He’d leave his country, his home, his friends, and yes, Sasuke. He’d fly to the farther reaches of the world, to the unaccommodating desert. And would he ever come back?

Only time could tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you saw this coming. Yup, I just did it.
> 
> I was 2 days late for the last chapter, so I figured I'd post this one a day early to make up for it by prolonging your suffering. They call that schadenfreude, no?
> 
> Seriously, joking. Hope everyone enjoyed this new chapter. And who remembers texting with those phones where you'd have to press the 2 button like 3 times just to get a c and there's no autocomplete? That took me back.


	10. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Deepest apologies for the delay. Hated to leave you on such a cliffy.
> 
> My laptop's been broken, so it's been tough for me to get much writing done. My back is shit, so trying to use a desktop computer is a killer. It's in for repairs now.

Sasuke’s phone buzzed. He just so happened to be in a situation to reach for it, Suigetsu, Karin, Juugo, and himself grabbing a bite to eat after closing shop. That taco place that opened around the corner earlier that day was giving out free burritos.

Sasuke glanced at the screen, only for Suigetsu to snicker.

“I wonder who that is,” Juugo teased.

“Hmmm,” Suigetsu interjected, his characteristically thick Russian accent peeping through, “I’m picturing someone blond. And muscular.”

“Do we have a psychic here?” Karin asked, jabbing Suigetsu’s bicep. “Or just a walking vodka drain, as per usual?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“That could’ve just as easily been a customer.”

All three of his coworkers chuckled. Yes, they’d been right.

“Or a booty call,” Karin edged in.

“I don’t take booty calls these days. The rashes got too bad,” Sasuke answered, a completely deadpan expression on his face.

“Hah!” Suigetsu shouted back, cracking up. Karin was practically dying, supporting herself with her palm rested on the edge of the table. Sasuke still didn’t understand why people found his sarcasm so funny.

“I wanna see what it says,” Suigetsu answered.

“Don’t you dare,” Sasuke warned, looking down at his mobile.

“I need to tell you something. When can I see you next?” the screen read.

This was strange. Sasuke knew how much Naruto hated texting, and it was even rarer still for him to use proper capitalization and punctuation. Moreover, what was he talking about?

“Think you got him pregnant, Sasuke?” Karin asked.

“Oh, trouble in paradise?” Suigetsu jested, his snarky grin starting to piss Sasuke off.

As usual, Juugo was quiet, smoking a cigarette and calmly observing the other three.

“Look, I already told you I’m not settling down with this guy. Mind your own business.”

“I know,” Karin sighed. “Mr. Unattainable.”

Karin had actually asked him out, years ago. It was one of those things they just never talked about. Still, it was common knowledge amongst the group that Sasuke never allowed himself to be tied down.

“I have to go,” Sasuke answered, not waiting for a response before leaving for the men’s room.

Sasuke needed some privacy. He brought his cell out again, texting Naruto.

“Is something wrong?”

He waited for a couple minutes. Just as he was about to return to his friends, his phone buzzed again.

“I just want to see you.”

Sasuke glanced down. He hadn’t known this guy for long, but it seemed strange for him to speak this way.

“I’m eating by the shop. Is now good?”

“Yeah.”

“Meet me outside The Grip. We’ll talk in there.”

“I’ll be there in 20,” Naruto texted.

Just as Sasuke turned toward the shop, he received one more text.

“Thank you, Sasuke.”

* * *

Naruto leaned against the subway pole, sluggishly resting his cold palm against it. He jostled with the stops, not bothering to brace himself. Despite the cool air outside, the air was stuffy in the subway cars. Finally, the proper stop was called.

He’d made a point to break the news to a friend before finding Sasuke. He didn’t want Sasuke to be the first person he told. He didn’t trust himself to keep it together. He wanted to be strong in front of him.

He knew that he should be enjoying this time. Hadn’t Sasuke said something to him about that? That all the uncertainty that lie ahead of him made the simple and happy moments of his life more important? But he couldn’t. As much as Kiba tried to cheer him up, Naruto couldn’t get himself to feel the warmth.

In all fairness, it had only been seven hours since he’d heard the news.

Despite the fact that so much was at stake, including his own life, he couldn’t rest until he told Sasuke. It baffled him, how Sasuke had become important to him in such a short period of time.

He was riding on the coattails of Kiba’s encouragement now. The guy could be such an ass sometimes, but it turned out that when things got serious, he pulled through. Naruto mused that this is the sort of thing you can never know about people until the time comes. He’d make it a point to hang on to him; Kiba was a good friend.

He muscled his way through pedestrians on a sidewalk, some of them drunk and boisterous. It was a Friday night in Manhattan. Nothing ever slowed down in this place.

Naruto was glad to see the Satin Grip once he approached. Sasuke was standing with one leg over the other, leaning back on the wall. The sight of him made Naruto smile, nearly made his eyes water.

Sasuke didn’t stir as Naruto approached him.

“So, what’s up dumbass?” Sasuke asked, appearing nothing but casual.

He stared at Sasuke mutely, words forsaking him. Sasuke patiently waited.

He’d prepared himself for this moment, but now that Sasuke stood in front of him, clueless and eagerly awaiting an answer, all of his plans fell to shit.

“I…” Naruto began. He looked down toward the call, sighed, and grit his teeth. Then he looked back at Sasuke, his face adopting the same stony expression it would hold when his drill sergeant screamed into his face. “My unit’s deploying. I’m leaving in two weeks.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened. They were both silent for several seconds, Sasuke appearing to need some time to determine his next words.

“That’s some heavy shit,” Sasuke said, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry.”

Naruto felt the need to apologize for leaving this guy high and dry just as they began to know each other. It was irrational; if anything, Sasuke was the one pulling away.

Even without him being deployed, winning Sasuke over would’ve been difficult. That difficulty had just been cranked up into another league.

But Naruto had never been the sort of person to give up when things got tough.

“I’m the one who should be worrying about you,” Sasuke said. “How are you holding up?”

“It feels better when I don’t think about it,” Naruto answered quietly.

He had no idea what to expect. Some people who were deployed weren’t even sent into combat. So far, it seemed that Sakura had been lucky. He was glad for this, at least.

“Then let’s not think about it,” Sasuke said, giving him a smile that seemed so mild but still quite warm.

“That’s a tall order,” Naruto mumbled.

“Are you hungry?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto nodded, knowing that Sasuke was trying to distract him. He was grateful for that.

“My coworkers are eating over at this new taco place around the corner. They’re giving away free food.”

Free...food…

Even in Naruto’s dire state of mind, those two words sounded just as beautifully together as they always did.

“You just said the two magic words.”

Sasuke smiled.

“Yeah, I don’t give a fuck how nice my loft is. You don’t turn that shit down.”

“Amen to that,” Naruto answered. If he were in a better mood, he would have laughed.

Given that both of them had grown up with hunger, they knew that skipping on free food was something one simply does not do. It was akin to drinking orange juice immediately after brushing your teeth. Just...why?

“Want to hang out with us?” Sasuke added after some silence had passed.

The idea of being able to meld with Sasuke’s social life made him feel a bit closer to Sasuke. He knew that this would only torture him over the time to come, but it was such a welcome relief that he couldn’t help but pursue it.

Naruto nodded wordlessly.

“I’ll tell them we’re coming,” Sasuke added, appearing to text his friends. Naruto didn’t look. He wondered if Sasuke had mentioned his situation.

“C’mon,” Sasuke answered, grabbing Naruto’s hand in his own and leading him.

Naruto didn’t know why the fact that they were holding hands made him feel this way, so happy despite everything. Clearly, whatever he felt for Sasuke was strong.

But did Sasuke feel the same way? He’d taken the news so well; he hardly even flinched. While Naruto was glad for Sasuke, it reminded him that he’d gotten nowhere near as close to Sasuke as Sasuke had gotten to him. He felt guilty for being a little disappointed about this, especially since Sasuke was being so understanding. He didn’t want him to hurt.

He found himself frowning and willed the gears in his head to stop turning. Sasuke hadn’t been kidding when he said the place was just around the corner. They’d arrived in not even three minutes.

Juugo, Suigetsu, and Karin were taking up a bench for four in an outdoor seating area, the air brisk. Sasuke quickly asked for and received a spare chair from a nearby table, placing Naruto at the table’s head. Suigetsu and Sasuke sat next to him, the two sharing a bench seat with Karin and Juugo, respectively. Having them all sit together like this really put Juugo’s size into perspective. He was a huge ball of muscles, possibly even stronger than he was.

“Hey, Mr. Low Blood Sugar!” Suigetsu called out, lifting up his beer to Naruto. “Nice to see you!”

“Nice to see you too,” Naruto answered, smiling. He was a little stiff, yes, but he knew how to smile through just about anything.

“Yeah! So happy you could join us, Naruto!” Karin added.

Naruto couldn’t help but pause as he noticed Karin’s new haircut. She’d buzzed the left side of her head, the right side a brilliant fire engine red that swooped over her scalp. It showed off the industrial piercing she had in her left ear.

“Woah, haircut! I love it. How do you...so much volume…”

Just being around people who were having fun was wearing off on him. Karin laughed.

“A lot of gel and a flat iron. It’s way lazier than you’d think.”

Jesus, how were all of the people he knew so fashionable? Sakura, now Sasuke and Karin… Sure, Manhattan was known for that, and Naruto was by no means a slouch. It did make him feel a little bummy in comparison, but his handsomeness came without trying. What a stud.

“So like…” Karin continued. “Sasuke was telling us about that convention in Berlin he went to. I’m so crazy jealous. I wish I could just take off to Europe every year.”

“Me too,” Naruto answered, finding a little more enthusiasm in himself. “I’ve barely even left the country. I just went to Toronto. Isn’t that boring?”

“Me too,” she pitched in.

“I did go to California a few months ago though,” Naruto said, looking upwards as his mind wandered.

“Have fun?” Karin asked.

Naruto chuckled, scratching his cheek.

“Ah… I don’t know if I’d call it fun…”

Sasuke had been looking down to eat his food, but Naruto noticed that his gaze discreetly moved over to him. Suigetsu tilted his head, confused.

“It was for a training exercise. I was out in the Mojave Desert for a month.”

“Woah, it must have been hot as balls,” Suigetsu pitched in. “I would die. I can handle the cold, but not the heat.”

“Yeah,” Naruto answered chuckling. “Mojave Viper. They work us pretty hard in the Marines.”

He was present in the moment. He felt, for an instant, that his mind was trying to wander to an inconvenient place. But he was thriving off of this social environment; it was a distraction.

“Mojave Viper?” Karin asked.

“Yeah, that’s the name of the training program.”

“Even I have to admit that code name sounds pretty cool,” Suigetsu admitted.

Naruto grinned in response, feeling himself blush just a little. He was confident in himself, but truth be told, Sasuke’s friends seemed pretty cool. For _them_ to call him cool was quite the compliment. While generally well-liked, he’d never been “one of the cool kids.”

A waiter came to the table carrying Naruto’s burrito and a beer. It was the size of a brick, plentiful mounds of ground meat, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, and lettuce.

“Oh shiiit this looks delicious!” Naruto chimed in, now taking a bite. “Yum!”

Suigetsu, Juugo, and Karin all smiled at him. People tended to call him “cute” from time to time. He could never quite shake it.

“Last place I went was just Seattle,” Karin said, taking a generous bite of her burrito.

“I was born in Seattle,” Naruto added, more life seeping into him.

Karin was visibly excited, trying to respond but being forced to wait to finish the food in her mouth. She raised her pointer finger, buying herself some time before swallowing.

“Ohh! Yeah, my dad lives out there, so I usually go at least once a year.”

“Man, I haven’t been to Seattle in _foreeever_. Like fifteen years. I kinda miss it.”

“Well, it hasn’t gotten any sunnier.”

Sasuke was quiet, letting Naruto and Karin catch up. He cast Naruto the most modest smile. It made Naruto feel safe.

“I go to Europe all the time. My parents are both in ‘Mother Russia,’” Suigetsu said boredly, using air quotations and he spoke those last two words. “Everything’s closer together over there.”

Naruto took a sip off his beer, followed by Sasuke.

“I’ve never talked to someone from Russia before. Were you born there?” Naruto asked.

He truly enjoyed getting to know Sasuke’s friends better.

“You mean the accent didn’t tip you off?” Suigetsu teased, tilting his head to the side. “I came over when I was eighteen.”

It took everything in Naruto not to ask Suigetsu to say something in Russian.

“Where in Russia?”

“Siberia. A town called Yakutsk.”

Suigetsu took a swig of beer, placing it back on the coaster once he was done.

“How was that?”

“Cold.”

Naruto chuckled.

“Thanks for that; I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“I’m not kidding. Siberia has a reputation for being cold, but if you’re outside in the winter in Yakutsk, your teeth will freeze to your lips. It’s one of the coldest cities in the world.”

“Seriously?” Naruto asked.

“Yeah! The average temperature in Yakutsk over the winter is… I think that’s negative 34 degrees in Fahrenheit? But it can get down to the negative ‘80s Fahrenheit. If you go outside without gloves, you get frostbite in under 5 minutes.”

“Holy crap…” Naruto answered, gawking. “Manhattan must feel like a tropical paradise to you.”

“Yup,” Suigetsu answered with a grin. “People whine here when it gets below freezing. It’s kind of cute.”

“Juugo, where did you come from?”

It was only natural for Naruto to ensure that everyone is included in a conversation. He didn’t want anyone to feel ignored. People used to leave him out when he was a kid, and he hated it. He couldn’t place whether Juugo was shy or just quiet.

“Upstate, a few hours north. Nothing special.”

“Well, at least you’re not boring like Sasuke. He’s never even lived outside of New York City.”

“No, even more boring than Sasuke. My parents were corn farmers.”

“That’s actually pretty cool! Did you help out a lot?”

It actually did sound quite interesting to Naruto. He had no idea what life was like for someone growing up on a farm.

“Yeah, ever since I was big enough.”

“So you like corn?”

“No, I hate it,” Juugo smiled, and despite being a burly, brawny redhead covered in tattoos, the expression looked gentle. “But I still eat it.”

“Eh?” Suigetsu asked, raising his lip. “Why would you eat something you don’t like?”

Juugo shrugged.

“Tastes like home.”

Suigetsu quickly nodded.

“Ah, I totally understand. That’s like me and aspic.”

“What’s aspic?” Naruto couldn’t help but ask.

“Hah. You don’t want to know.”

“I dunno. I just miss In N Out.”

“In N Out?” Suigetsu asked, tilting his head. “That sounds kind of perverted.”

“Of course _you’d_ be the one to make that connection,” Karin inserted, rolling her eyes.

“How the hell haven’t you heard of In N Out?” Naruto asked, now sitting on his calf out of his restlessness. “Have you been living under a rock?”

All three of his conversational partners looked at him with confusion.

“Gah! It’s this burger chain out in California. Oh my god it’s amaaazing. They’ve got like… These huge meaty burgers, and so much cheese, and the special spread, and…”

“Your level of obsession with this restaurant is unhealthy, comrade,” Suigetsu said as he took another bite of his food.

“Your _mom_ is unhealthy.”

Karin laughed, only for Sasuke to grimace.

“You know, I _am_ associated with you now.”

“Aw, did I embarrass you?” Naruto teased with a full-fledged grin.

“Those jokes are so lame,” Suigetsu chortled.

“I think they’re kind of funny,” Juugo mumbled, so quietly that Naruto hardly heard him.

“See!” Naruto almost shouted, standing up and pointing at Juugo. “This guy gets me!”

That set the tone for the next forty minutes. Naruto thrived off of the energy, finding himself feeling so comfortable. A couple more beers for everyone at the table didn’t hurt matters either.

He tried not to think about how he might never hang out with them like this again. What Sasuke had said at the beach that night was true. An uncertain future meant that enjoying the present was even more important.

Finally, they were leaving, all of them, other than Karin and Suigetsu, packing up their burritos.

“What… You’re just going to leave it there?” Naruto asked, looking at both of them like they were crazy.

“Uh, yeah?” Karin answered. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“What...what…” Naruto quickly shook his head. “You don’t take leftovers home?”

“I usually do,” Suigetsu said. “But I’m going to a party after this.”

Why was Naruto not surprised? From everything he’d heard, Suigetsu sounded like a party animal.

“You could keep it in the shop’s minifridge,” Sasuke remarked.

“Eh…” Suigetsu shrugged.

“Sorry, but that is fucked up. You don’t just... _not_ take leftovers. Juugo, please tell me that you take home leftovers.”

Naruto was passionate now, gesticulating with his arms.

“Of course. My parents would’ve disowned me if I didn’t take my leftovers. It’s engrained.”

“See! Again, Juugo is the voice of reason here. It’s two against two.”

Suigetsu sneered at Sasuke - the tie breaker.

“C’mon, tell me you can take or leave the leftovers.”

“No, the hell is wrong with you?” Sasuke answered. “You don’t just leave perfectly good food on the table.”

Karin sighed and shrugged.

“What if I have things that taste better in my fridge?”

“They’ll keep,” Sasuke grunted. “Feed yourself for another day with that burrito.”

“Seriously?” Karin asked. “Sasuke, you’re loaded. You could eat filet mignon tomorrow morning if you wanted to.”

“And it’s such a pain in the ass,” Suigetsu tacked on. “Having to ask them to bring you a box and waiting for it.”

“Then you ask them to bring it with the damned check. Is that too much effort?”

Naruto couldn’t help but smile, fully relating to Sasuke in this moment.

“Guys, you gotta understand that if I leave food on the table, every cell in my body is screaming to take it with me,” Naruto said. “It feels so inherently wrong to leave it there.”

“Well put,” Sasuke added.

“Fine, well there are situations where it’s acceptable to leave leftovers,” Karin said. “What about french fries? They get all soggy the next day from the condensation.”

Naruto looked at Sasuke, as if he was awaiting his input. Sasuke shrugged.

“Okay, there are exceptions,” Naruto conceded. “But you could put those in an omelette.”

“You guys…” Karin laughed, shaking her head. “I used to work at Fairway before I became a piercer. At the end of the day, they’d dump so much food in the trash.”

The look on Naruto’s face made Suigetsu snicker. Was this what Naruto looked like when he discovered that Santa wasn’t real?

“Like boxes full of food like produce, milk, whatever that were totally good to eat.”

“Why?” Naruto asked. “The hell, why would they throw all of that away?! The people that could feed…”

Sasuke let out a sigh.

“This is why I don’t get people. Never will, never want to.”

“Yeah, it was messed up. They wouldn’t even let us bring any home. They said it was for liability reasons.”

“Shit!” Suigetsu called out, looking down at his watch. “It’s almost midnight. The party’s about to start!”

“It’ll be on until the sun rises, Suigetsu,” Karin answered with a yawn. “It’s not like you’re missing much of it.”

Naruto remembered when he used to party like that, before he buckled down and started saving for college.

“All the good stuff happens around midnight. Damn, I totally lost track of time.”

“I should probably be going soon too,” Karin added.

“With your leftovers?” Naruto clarified.

“If you’re so insistent. I’ll just throw them away as soon as I round the corner,” Karin said with a mischievous grin, likely enjoying messing around with Naruto.

“There’s a special place in hell for people like you,” Naruto answered, narrowing his eyes.

“I’m leaving, whether you follow me or not,” Suigetsu said, getting up and walking away. “Nice seeing you again, Mr. Low Blood Sugar!”

Suigetsu shouted that last sentence, as he’d already placed considerable distance between them.

Karin just laughed.

“You can take them home. How about that? I have to go.”

Karin gave Sasuke and Naruto both a pat on the shoulder as she got up to leave.

“Don’t get into trouble, you two,” she said, walking backwards for a few paces before turning around and following Suigetsu.

The restaurant’s patrons were still bustling around them, but Sasuke and Naruto sat quietly at their large table. A few seconds passed.

“You gonna take that home?” Sasuke asked, gesturing to the burrito.

“Oh hell yes.”

“Nice,” Sasuke snickered, raising his fist up to Naruto.

Their fists bumped, and Naruto felt like the coolest guy alive to get a fistbump out of Sasuke. He didn’t seem like the type to give out cheap fist-bumps. No, you have to work for those.

Naruto allowed himself to slump now, leaning against Sasuke. Sasuke moved neither toward nor away from Naruto, finishing his beer in one last swallow.

“These burritos are the loss leaders. They get you on the beer,” Sasuke remarked.

“Loss leader?”

“Yeah. Products sold at a loss to attract customers.”

“Oh, Mr. Fancy Pants and his college degree.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“What was your major?”

“Business administration.”

“Was it boring?” Naruto asked.

“Sometimes,” Sasuke shrugged. “But I was building my business while I went to school, so I took what I needed out of it.”

“Yeah?” Naruto asked, toying with Sasuke’s sleeve, which was rolled up just below his elbow. “What was your favorite class?”

“Game theory.”

“Least favorite?”

“History of economics. My professor might have been an actual fossil.”

“Oh man, that bad?” Naruto chuckled.

“Yeah, tenure is a bitch. He couldn’t stay on topic and was boring as hell. It was clear that he was an academic with no real business experience.”

“You think you could do better?”

“I’d shoot myself before I’d teach. Half the students only attended because their parents paid their way, then forced them to go. Blew all opportunity right out of their ungrateful asses.”

“Hm, I’d like to hope I could teach them to care,” Naruto said passively.

“You must have the patience for that. I sure as hell don’t.”

Naruto smiled, and it looked a little bittersweet.

“I wasn’t so different from them. Iruka made me care, slowly but surely.”

Sasuke glanced over at Naruto, his curious expression encouraging Naruto to continue.

“He was my science teacher, sophomore year. If something wasn’t fun, I didn’t want to do it. I hated it at home, so I’d stay out causing mischief by sneaking in places or vandalizing shit.”

“I used to graffiti when I was a kid,” Sasuke murmured. “They should’ve thanked me. It was a facelift for that ghetto shit.”

“I wasn’t very good,” Naruto admitted. “I wasn’t happy with life. I was under no illusion that my family at the time gave a flying fuck about me, so I acted out.”

“You keep talking about that teacher. What was so great about him?”

Naruto sighed, letting his head hang back as he looked up at the night sky. The stars were almost invisible. At the very least, when he looked up at the stars from halfway across the world, he was sure that they’d shine more brightly.

“He gave a shit. Everyone else gave up on me. Most teachers wanted to be nowhere near me, but he kept sending me to detention. I didn’t mind. It meant more time away from home.”

“I see.”

“He told me once… When you take a compass out, the needle spins around for a while until it finds its direction. He said I was like that compass needle. It was too early to know what my direction was, but soon I’d find it, and then there would be no denying it.”

Sasuke was silent, Naruto still leaning against him.

“I laughed in his face, but he persisted. Since he was a lot like me when I was a kid, he understood. And he was right.”

Naruto found himself smiling now. He was livening up, and it wasn’t just that extra boost he gave himself when Sasuke’s friends were around. This was true and came from within.

“That’s why I want to… No, that’s why I’m _going_ to be a teacher. I want to work in a rough neighborhood with the kids everyone else gave up on. If I can be to even one kid what he was to me, I’d die happy.”

Sasuke was silent. It seemed he was giving Naruto the chance to continue.

“Damn,” Sasuke sighed after what seemed like a while, shaking his head. “The extent of your sappiness never ceases to amaze me.”

Naruto shoved his shoulder against Sasuke’s playfully, a mild smile on his face

“I didn’t see the war coming, but in the end, it’s going to be an afterthought. And if it isn’t…” Naruto paused, looking out into the crowd. “Then it isn’t. But nothing yet has taken me down.”

Naruto continued leaning against Sasuke. Finally, Sasuke draped his arm around Naruto. It made Naruto feel much safer than he actually was.

“You are a good teacher,” Sasuke mused. “I wouldn’t let myself mess up in front of most people.”

Naruto couldn’t help but chuckle when he remembered the look on Sasuke’s face when he played that mangled F chord. Sasuke truly was a perfectionist if he still remembered this detail.

“I don’t think you’d be a bad teacher, Sasuke. You’d be a hardass.”

They paused again, and it was comfortable.

“Who taught you how to tattoo, Sasuke?”

“His name was Kakashi. He owned the shop I apprenticed at in Brooklyn. I was actually twelve when I first started working.”

“Twelve? Seriously?”

“Yeah, but at first it was admin shit like paperwork and filing. My family needed money. He took a risk and paid me under the table. He...wasn’t that different from that teacher you liked so much.”

Naruto smiled.

“Does that mean you misbehaved too?”

Sasuke shrugged but gave no response.

“I’ve always wondered… How do you teach someone to tattoo? It’s not exactly like you can afford to make mistakes.”

“Want me to show you?”

Naruto flinched, leaning back to look up at Sasuke.

“Ahh... Um… Yes but… How?”

“There’s a wait,” Sasuke said, pointing to a line of people gathering outside to sit down. “Let’s leave.”

“Okay,” Naruto answered, not really sure what exactly they were going to do now.

Regardless, he gathered the boxes and bags, bundling up Karin’s burrito. Naruto and Suigetsu had finished their own, and Sasuke boxed what was left of his own.

“To the shop,” Sasuke said, though it seemed more like an order. Without even waiting for a response, he started walking in that direction.

Naruto quickly followed Sasuke, only for Sasuke to peel out and walk into a small convenience store. He found himself feeling both excited and nervous. He had no idea what to expect.

“Sasuke, what are you doing?” Naruto asked, only for Sasuke to ignore him again.

Sasuke walked towards the limited produce selection the shop had - only apples and oranges. Sasuke grabbed two oranges and walked to the front. He paid, and they were quickly on their way.

“Okay, that was random.”

“Vitamin C,” Sasuke said, clearly playing with Naruto.

In almost no time, they’d arrived at the shop. Just like it had been the night Sasuke had pierced Naruto’s ears, it was completely dark. Sasuke pulled up the metal grating and unlocked the door, flipping the lights on.

“What are we doin’ now?”

It’d be nice if Sasuke would give him a clue.

“Use your imagination,” Sasuke said dully.

Naruto sat down on the bench in the shop’s lobby as Sasuke rummaged around the back. He set the oranges at his station. Curious, Naruto walked over to him.

“This is what we’re going to do,” Sasuke told him.

He took out one of the oranges, as well as a blue ballpoint pen. He began to draw what looked like a rose on the orange.

“Ahh…”

Naruto finally understood. It had taken him a while.

Sasuke was done in a matter of seconds. He drew so quickly, though it wasn’t surprising given that he was a professional artist. Then he took out his machine, setting it on his desk.

Naruto couldn’t help but glance over at it. The silver handle housed two long coils. From there, a long metal rod descended with a round metal grip residing just below the base of the barrel. Sasuke reached over and loosened a screw, adding a metal tip before screwing the machine together again.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Naruto asked, shoving his face into view.

“Take a guess.”

“I thought you were going to teach me!”

Sasuke sighed, already appearing a little impatient. He was still assembling the machine.

“I’ll show you the fun parts.”

Naruto pouted, crossing his arms but seeming to relent. Sasuke plugged the machine into the power source by his station. He sat and lightly pressed the pedal by his foot. That familiar buzzing filled the shop yet again.

“Do you see what I’m doing?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto tilted his head.

“I’ve hooked my machine up to the power supply. When I press on the pedal, it sends energy through the machine. That electricity magnetizes the two coils in the handle.”

When Naruto nodded, Sasuke continued, “That magnetism moves this bar at the top. They call it an armature bar. That’s what fuels the needle. Get it?”

Naruto smiled while Sasuke put on a pair of gloves.

“Heh, of course. This is easy stuff.”

“You hold it a little like a pen,” Sasuke told him, letting Naruto watch him grasp it. “The rest of it sits behind the knuckles, and you rest your hand on the skin. Orange in this case.”

“Press down on the pedal…”

The machine’s boring noise resumed again.

“And then press it to the outline.”

The needle connected to Sasuke’s machine moved so quickly that it blurred, soon pressing into the orange and following the outline. He left a smooth black line behind, with just a bit of ink smudging onto the rind just outside of the rind. Sasuke wiped the residual ink off, leaving a neat and stark black line behind.

“So cool!” Naruto said, trying not to shout. “Lemme try!”

Naruto practically charged for it, with Sasuke shooting him a nasty look back.

“Cool your tits. Put on gloves.”

Naruto puckered his lips.

“Why? Afraid I’m gonna give the orange hepatitis or somethin’?”

“It’s best practice. And you’ll get ink all over your hands.”

Naruto sighed, placing a glove over his hand and making a loud smacking sound as he tugged at the wrist and released. He replaced Sasuke in his seat, grabbing for the machine with his right hand. Sasuke handed over his irons placing it into Naruto’s hand so that the heavy part of the machine rested on the back of his hand.

The touch of Sasuke’s hand on his made his heart stir. It was also interesting to finally be holding one of these.

Even if he wasn’t about to use it on anyone, it excited him. It was similar to the way he felt when he held his first gun. The tool he held in his hands had the power to mark skin forever.

It was a little heavier than he’d through it would be. He readjusted his hand.

“Step on the pedal.”

And Naruto did, only for that same buzzing to punctuate the room.

“Ah!”

Even knowing what to expect, it shocked him. The vibrations of the heavy metal were strong against his hand. Ink was falling down from the needle’s tip now, coating a splotch of the orange. Naruto took his foot off the pedal.

Sasuke offered him a wipe, rolling his eyes.

“Want to try making actual contact this time?”

Naruto supposed he was glad he was wearing gloves after all.

“Hnf,” Naruto pouted, looking up at Sasuke. He placed his foot on the pedal once more.

This time he slowly brought the tip onto the orange rind, moving it forward. Some ink still escaped the tip, but much less than last time.

“It’s normal for that to happen, especially when it’s not skin. Just wipe it off so you can see what you’re doing.”

Naruto nodded, wiping off the ink. He saw the slightly raised black line he’d left behind on the orange. It was of varying thicknesses and quite shaky. It looked terrible.

“Try to apply a more consistent amount of pressure. Make smaller movements.”

Naruto felt himself blush. He hadn’t expected to be _good_ , but he also hoped he wouldn’t be this horrible. He continued to follow the blue ink Sasuke’s pen had left behind.

The vibrations of the tattoo machine weren’t dramatic, but they threw him off. Naruto worked for several more seconds before wiping off the orange again.

“Hm. Better,” Sasuke remarked. “You’re going at too steep of an angle. Here.”

Sasuke came back with a stack of papers, just tall enough for Naruto to rest his arm on. It was a much more comfortable angle for his wrist.

“Press down on the pedal.”

Naruto obeyed, applying pressure and bringing the machine back to life. Sasuke reached forward, and Naruto felt the heat of his body as he did so. He placed his right hand directly over Naruto’s, guiding him.

The support of Sasuke’s hand insulated the impact of the vibrations and helped balance the irons. Even as uncharacteristically focused as he was at that moment, he couldn’t help but notice the small crest tattoo on the web of Sasuke’s hand. Thirteen years old, huh?

He remembered how passionate Sasuke had been, even at such an early age, to do the very thing they were doing together now. Sasuke’s skillful hand guided him, and it made his heart beat harder. He licked his lips, finding that his mouth felt dry. He looked behind him, Sasuke’s muscular chest leaning over him...

“Oi,” Sasuke called out, flicking his pointer finger against Naruto’s ear. _Whack_. Naruto felt his ear go warm from the impact.

“Hey!”

“Don’t take your eyes off of your subject, dumbass.”

He’d totally just been called out.

“I wasn’t,” Naruto insisted, glaring up at Sasuke.

“You’re still not looking at the damned orange.”

“Yes, I am!”

“Really?” Sasuke asked.

Now that Naruto looked back at the orange, he noticed that Sasuke had let Naruto’s hand stray for the past second. A rogue line went down the side of the orange.

“That would be game over.”

The nerve… It was Sasuke’s fault!

“I only messed up because you suddenly stopped doing your job.”

Sasuke’s hand was still over his. They hadn’t even moved from their prior position, though Naruto had taken his foot off of the pedal. He still held the irons in his hand.

“My job?” Sasuke scoffed. “I just taught you a lesson. When tattooing, concentration is crucial.”

It hurt to admit it, but Sasuke was right. What an asshole!

“Though this certainly wouldn’t be the first time I’ve distracted you.”

Oh _hell_ no.

“Hey, are you coming onto me?” Naruto asked, his voice rising as he became defensive.

“So what if I am?” Sasuke answered. “Please, your arousal over the past few minutes has been beyond obvious.”

Ugh. Why didn’t Sasuke just stake him in the heart while he was at it?

“Ah, is that something we should be doing when I’m holding a tattoo gun?” Naruto asked, laughing nervously.

Sasuke clucked his tongue.

“It’s not a gun.”

If anything, Naruto found the frown on Sasuke’s face endearing.

“Testy,” Naruto teased with a grin.

He cast Sasuke a smirk over his shoulder, feeling confident in this moment. He pressed down on the pedal yet again, tracing over the lines Sasuke left and wiping it away.

He could sense that Sasuke was casually watching him, even as he stared at the orange so intently. As Sasuke had told him to, he wiped away the ink as soon as it became difficult for him to discern the lines Sasuke had left.

Naruto paused for a moment, re-adjusting the irons in his hand. His muscles were starting to get tired. Graciously, Sasuke said nothing.

Naruto could only imagine how difficult it would be to continue this for a period of hours, as Sasuke did every day. He was sure that the unique muscles used must have built up for Sasuke, just like how his own did when he played the guitar day and night. The vibrations were also tasking his muscles. He stretched his hand, returning to his work soon after with a furrowed brow.

Naruto couldn’t say his lines were very nice. They were of uneven thicknesses, shaky and sometimes leaving the blue trace of Sasuke’s marks altogether. He’d never been the type to master things on the first try; he had to work at things for a while. He’d immersed himself in his work, not thinking of the news he’d brought Sasuke that night, and for a moment, not even thinking of Sasuke. He continued, completely focused and dedicated to finishing the work in front of him.

He heard Sasuke rummage around, getting himself a glass of water to drink. Finally, Sasuke fetched his sketchpad from the lockers in the back. He sat next to Naruto, crossed his legs, and rested the pad on them, leisurely sketching away.

The warm friendliness of Sasuke’s friends distracted him. He’d met with plenty of his own friends as well. It was when he was alone that he couldn’t think. He couldn’t concentrate. The best he’d done…

He had to admit that his music sounded wonderful in the precious hour he played to sooth his nerves before speaking with Sasuke. Raw, brutal, and meaningful… It sounded like he truly put his heart into it, because he did. Seasons were soon to come and go without it by his side. It was bound to be tough, but Naruto was no stranger to trouble.

The sound of the irons dulled his hearing somewhat, but he did sometimes notice Sasuke move in his chair, or hear him flip a page in his sketchbook. Even if he wasn’t speaking with Sasuke, simply knowing that he was there soothed him.

Naruto finished at last, putting the machine down and looking down at the orange. He heard Sasuke walk up to them, both of them looking at it.

At the very least, one could tell it was a flower. Naruto had poked into the rind in a place, and the lines were jumbled. Now that Naruto’s focus had relented, he felt embarrassed by how horrible the product of his work had been, especially in front of a nationally (maybe even internationally?) renowned tattooist.

“It’s horrible…” Naruto said, with a little laughter in his tone.

“Whose first attempt isn’t?”

Naruto had honestly expected Sasuke to chide him for this. To tell him that he wasn’t focusing enough, that his lines looked like shit, that there were pits in the orange now…

“You’re not such a bad teacher after all,” Naruto said, smiling at Sasuke.

“I watched more than I taught,” Sasuke told him. “As spastic as you are, it’s not often I see you so focused.”

Naruto felt himself blush. He’d probably blushed more in the past month than he’d blushed in his entire life up until this point. It wasn’t that he even blushed that much naturally. Around Sasuke, it just seemed to happen.

The thought that Sasuke was watching him, that he cared…

Naruto was glad that Sasuke took his departure so well. After a mere several seconds of shock, he returned to his usual composure. He didn’t even look upset. And as much as he told himself that this should come as nothing but a relief, he felt a pain in his chest.

“What were you drawing?” Naruto asked, pointing over at Sasuke’s sketchbook.

Sasuke grabbed the book, handing it to Naruto.

Naruto opened it to find a large drawing of a lion, the style completely realistic. The way Sasuke drew each hair in the mane, in such detail, was captivating. It made the mane, and all of the lion’s fur, seem so full, so soft that Naruto could reach out and actually touch it. Sasuke had such a fine attention to detail.

“It’s not meant to be a tattoo, if you’re wondering,” Sasuke said. “I’ve been branching out.”

“Jesus, it’s…” Naruto could hardly finish his sentence without getting lost in the details of Sasuke’s drawing. “It’s amazing.”

Sasuke merely shrugged.

“Hey, Sasuke…” Naruto spoke. He wondered if he should broach the topic he was considering.

“Hm?”

“How do you feel?”

Sasuke seemed confused for a moment, but as soon as their gazes connected, the understanding on Sasuke’s face was obvious.

“Shouldn’t I be thinking about how you feel right now?”

Was Sasuke being kind, Naruto wondered? Or simply evading?

“That’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking how _you_ feel.”

Their gazes met for several seconds, Sasuke’s dark and unreadable eyes following his own.

“I admit, I was surprised.”

“Just surprised?”

Was that really all that Sasuke had felt?

Sasuke simply shrugged.

“Come on, Sasuke. Be honest with me.”

What had Sasuke said, about the nights making one honest? The serenity of the tattoo parlor brought the feeling of safety. And Naruto knew that Sasuke was most comfortable here, in his own shop.

Sasuke frowned.

“It sucks. But for you much more than for me.”

As much as he didn’t like the idea of Sasuke hurting, it relieved Naruto to hear that.

“I’m sorry.”

It was Naruto’s second time saying these two words that night.

Sasuke waved it off.

“Don’t worry about me. I don’t get attached easily.”

Ouch.

“Okay.”

As quickly as Sasuke caught his mistake, it was too late. He opened his mouth to correct himself but had nothing to say.

“Naruto, listen… While you’re away, I think it’s best if you forget about me.”

Naruto felt his eyes water. No, not now. Not in front of him. He bit his lip hard. He’d been so emotional since he heard the news. Even the slightest of things set him off, but this _hurt_.

“Bastard, you think I would do that?” he asked, his voice shaking. “Didn’t I say that you could count on me? I won't give up!”

Sasuke stared at Naruto, shaking his head.

“I don’t get it. Why do you care so much? Why would you remember me all of that time?”

“Sasuke…” Naruto said, his voice still raw. “Like you said, we haven’t known each other that long, so you’ll have to take my word on this.”

Naruto paused for a moment, his eyes fastening right onto Sasuke’s.

“When I say something, I mean it. I _never_ go back on my word.”

It was difficult to read the look on Sasuke’s face. He was surprised, clearly. But what other thoughts were in his brain? He fielded Naruto’s intense stare for several seconds, the air so quiet between them that should even a piece of paper drop, they could hear it flip through each spiraling turn on the way to the floor. Neither of them moved a single hair, their gazes never falling out of sync.

Finally, Sasuke fell out of his daze.

“Naruto, you’re not thinking this through. You don’t know me very well. You don’t even know what you’re waiting _for_ all this time.”

Naruto sighed.

“I understand where you’re coming from. I know it sounds crazy, but I just _know_ , okay? It’s a gut feeling, so strong that I could never ignore it.”

“Are you sure that’s instinct talking?”

Of course, Naruto read into the implication. He could see why Sasuke would suspect that his devotion was infatuation. He hadn’t realized it at the time, but Sasuke had been aware of his crush from the first day they met. In the beginning, it truly was simple infatuation.

Yet Sasuke couldn’t feel what Naruto was feeling right now. If he could, Naruto was sure that he’d have no doubts in his mind.

“Look… I may seem like a space case at times. I know you don’t get it, but I _know_ I’m right about you. I can _feel_ it.”

Naruto paused for a second, but he found himself continuing against even his own will.

“It doesn’t matter what other people say; you just know sometimes. You know what that’s like, if that tat on your hand tells me anything. And when shit gets rough, it’s that desire, that _hope_ that keeps you moving, step after step. And when I’m over there, it’ll be that hope that gets me through.”

Naruto could tell that something clicked in Sasuke’s brain. Despite the fact that such little time had passed since they met each other, Naruto did know that about Sasuke. He was decisive, and he’d follow his goals to the end, even if others found them unreasonable. It had been a long road for him; he surely needed that hope.

Sasuke cast his gaze downward.

“I just don’t want you to hope for something so badly all this time, only to find that what you’d hoped for doesn’t exist.”

“Sasuke, look at me. Stop staring at the ground.”

Sasuke obeyed.

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take. The good things in life don’t come from playing it safe. You know that.”

It was clear as day to Naruto that this intimacy was making Sasuke uncomfortable.

“I’m not trying to guilt you,” Naruto said. “You said from the beginning that you weren’t committing to this. It would be unfair of me to expect you to put your life on hold, and in all reality, I might never come back.”

The corner of Sasuke’s lips sunk down, but his eyes stayed locked onto Naruto’s. As unpleasant as his words might be, they were true.

“I understand.”

Naruto smiled.

“Good. That’s all I need to hear.”


	11. Friends

The sun had set an hour ago, the air adopting the slightest chill as he made his way down the sidewalks of the Lower East Side. Sasuke wasn’t in this area often, but he’d needed to see his dentist. His dentist found it prudent to chide him for the umpteenth time regarding his tongue and lip piercings, since he’d seen them damage teeth before. Never mind the fact that Sasuke’s teeth were flawless despite him being pierced a decade ago.

Yes, he always took care to inform everyone that their jewelry should fit properly, and it must be in the optimal place to avoid irritation to the gums and teeth. Far too many people wore tongue studs that were far too long. Who did this guy think he was talking to? But Sasuke didn’t care enough to debate, especially given that the more frequently he spoke, the longer he’d be in there. He put in his earbuds, listened to some rock music, and tuned it all out.

As Sasuke’s teeth were yet again flawless, he was sent on his way. He walked through the borough’s trendy shops, catered toward people in their early 20’s. Groups flocked to the outdoor seating of the many bars and posh restaurants, leaving laughter behind as Sasuke passed them. A bohemian vibe pulsed through the neighborhood, and there were plenty of nightclubs that would be open until ungodly parts of the morning. Sasuke wondered why Shikamaru would even live here, given that he could be such an introvert.

A visit was long overdue, so while he was in the area, it made sense to stop by. He wrapped on the red door in a punctuated rhythm. It was an old beat that the two of them had known since childhood.

Several ten seconds passed. Twenty.

“Oi! Get your ass up here!” he shouted.

After much more rustling, a pale, lanky man opened the door, his head sporting a spiky bun. His jeans were a size too big, and he wore a simple black T-shirt. Remarkably, the small, black goatee on his chin was impeccably groomed. A cigarette drooped between his lips.

“Hey Sasuke…” the other man answered.

Both took their hands back, giving each other a horizontal high five followed by a fist bump with perfect fluidity.

“What the fuck, Shika?”

Shikamaru sighed, “I was in the middle of something. And dude, how long’s it been? A month? That’s bullshit.”

Shikamaru had been Sasuke’s best friend for no less than twenty years. They’d go months, sometimes almost half a year without seeing each other, but when they did, it was exactly like old times.

“Whose fault is that?” Sasuke asked, rolling his eyes. “Your lazy ass won’t come to my house.”

Shikamaru wouldn’t bother to make excuses. Sasuke would see right through them.

“I don’t know why I put up with you.”

“I’m constantly lazy,” Shikamaru said was a carefree shrug. “You’re constantly a pissy little bitch. It evens out.”

Shikamaru knew that he was one of, if not possibly the only, person in the world who could get away with speaking to Sasuke like that without losing some blood.

“Whatever…”

Sasuke took a few steps into Shikamaru’s apartment. It was good enough. It was a slight bit larger and nicer than Naruto’s place, but next to Sasuke’s, it looked like a shack. Sasuke kicked an empty pizza box out of the way as he walked towards the dining room table. A steady level of clutter had accumulated throughout the house, and it would do well with a bit of dusting. The apartment smelled of cigarettes.

“How can you live like this?”

“You’re so dramatic. This isn’t out of the norm for a bachelor,” Shikamaru said, taking another hit off of his cigarette. “I’m not that messy. You’re just anal.”

Truthfully, it was a bit of both.

“Some luck you’ll have with Temari, taking her home to this.”

“Hey…” Shikamaru mumbled. “We’re not dating. We’re just friends.”

“And you’ll be ‘just friends’ forever if you don’t make a move soon. Watching you two together makes me want to vomit.”

“I’m biding my time.”

Sasuke raised both brows at Shikamaru, as if to ask, “Are you serious right now?” It had been the same song and dance for almost a year.

“I’m too sober for your bullshit. Hit me with the juice.”

Shikamaru chuckled under his breath, taking out some Crown Royal and placing in two small glasses with a few ice cubes. He topped it off with some cherry Cola.

Shikamaru joined Sasuke at the table. An ashtray sat between them, filled with a minimum of twenty cigarette butts. Shikamaru had finished his cigarette, fishing through his pack for another.

“Want a smoke?” Shikamaru asked extending his pack to Sasuke.

“Not today.”

He preferred menthol, and he was trying to cut back. Shikamaru nodded and lit his cigarette in a quick motion. There was a moment of silence between them and then, as if synchronized, they both took a sip of their drinks.

“So, what’ve you been up to?” Sasuke asked, idly looking into his beverage.

Shikamaru shrugged.

“Eh… You know. Got some work over the past few weeks. It was very urgent.”

Shikamaru was a freelance hacker. Sasuke didn’t know what exactly that entailed, nor did he feel compelled to ask. Whatever Shikamaru chose to reveal was good enough for him. Sasuke trusted him not to do anything reckless.

“I lived in front of my computer, surviving off of pizza deliveries and Big Macs.”

“Sooner or later, your body’s going to shit out on you from that alone, not even mentioning your three packs a day.”

Shikamaru sighed. Sasuke hadn’t been the first person to chide him about this, but he was one of the most persistent.

“I’m almost down to two.”

Sasuke clucked his tongue.

“I’m going to backhand you when you get lung cancer.”

“How sweet of you.”

“You think I don’t mean it?” Sasuke contended, raising his brows.

Shikamaru chuckled, shaking his head.

“I know damned well you mean it. So, what’s up with you?”

Sasuke took a sip of his drink, exhaling and peering down through the dark amber-colored liquid.

“Work.”

“Mn…”

They sat together in silence for a few seconds, both of them entirely comfortable with it. Shikamaru rested his head on his hand, elbow on the table.

“No highlights, huh?” Shikamaru asked, tilting his head. Appearing to remember something, Shikamaru gave a mild chuckle. “Oh, what about that Marine who fainted in the parlor? Any antics from him?”

Shikamaru had remembered that? He’d only spoken about Naruto casually and hadn’t even mentioned his name. When he’d last spoken to Shikamaru, he’d only taken Naruto out to lunch once, right after he passed out.

“Ah…”

Shikamaru was like a fucking hawk, and Sasuke hated him for this sometimes. It took only the slightest bit of hesitation before Shikamaru’s cigarette stilled. Sasuke took a sip of his drink, because Shikamaru’s stare was downright creepy. Shikamaru’s eyes widened.

“Wait… You’re… Oh god, are you two fucking?”

Sasuke choked on his drink, feeling it almost go up his nose. How the hell had Shikamaru come to that conclusion? Not that it was necessarily surprising… There was a reason that people called him a genius.

Sasuke slapped his fist against his chest, coughing before his drink went down. Sasuke’s nose was burning, and Shikamaru was shaking his head and laughing. What a dick.

“Man… With a customer? How dangerous.”

God, he hated it when Shikamaru pulled stuff like this.

“It just...evolved.”

“Yeah, I hate it when that happens,” Shikamaru sighed. “One minute it’s all business, then all of the sudden your clothing evaporates into thin air, and you’re somehow balls deep in the guy. Happens all the time.”

Sasuke huffed, rolling his eyes and looking off to the side.

“Fuck off.”

Shikamaru laughed again.

“Can’t believe you got with the guy who _fainted_ in your parlor. How did he redeem himself from _that?”_

Sasuke simply shrugged.

“I was bored.”

“You’re not usually so daring.”

This was true. Sasuke had fucked around plenty. Throughout his adulthood, his interest in the scene had waxed and waned. He’d had more than a few play partners, though they were generally nothing more than acquaintances. He met them through munches, friends, dungeons... As long as he was attracted to them, they pleased him, and they practiced safe sex, that was good enough for him.

He’d once engaged in a committed relationship at the age of thirteen. It was driven, largely, by hormones. He was inexperienced, and the idea of an open relationship had never occurred to him. Sticking to a single person seemed to be the way it was done, at least by everyone he knew. He stuck with the formula, and it failed within months. It was nothing worth remembering; he emerged unscathed but with a few hassles to contend with. Other than the sex, Sasuke found no redeeming aspects in that troublesome endeavor.

As an adult, he shunned committed relationships. His play partners knew that Sasuke cared about them hardly more than he’d care about a stranger, and in most cases, that disregard was reciprocated. Sasuke never had to buy flowers or remember Valentine’s Day. There were no hurt feelings when Sasuke wouldn’t call for months on end. No one expected him to make himself vulnerable. He depended on no one, and no one depended on him. It was simple, and everything was played by ear.

And each new partner allowed him to push his limits farther than the last. Each came with their own kinks, with a new tolerance for pain. With unique potentials for both masochism and sadism.

There was nothing wrong with this. Sure, sex could make endorphins rage like waterfalls; given the kind of sex Sasuke was accustomed to, it would more accurately be compared to a tidal wave. Blindfolds, welted skin, cuffs, blood, angry red scratches down his back, sex swings, suspension, electricity, dripping wax… The list went on. But that did not, in itself, bring intimacy. That was prescribed by society, and Sasuke had never been one to fear moving against the grain.

But Shikamaru was right; doing this with a customer was new entirely to Sasuke. It was reckless. He also wasn’t used to all of this vanilla sex. It was nostalgic, almost. Before meeting Naruto, he would have thought that this would bore him, after all of the things he’d tried and how daring his appetite was. He’d toned himself down for Naruto’s sake. Despite all of that, he enjoyed it just as much, if not more. The way this satisfied him was just...different, in a way he couldn’t fully explain.

And if the vanilla sex hadn’t been enough to put him on snooze, what of all their talking? Their long conversations? For Christ’s sake, they’d only had penetrative sex _once_ , yet Sasuke looked forward to every time he’d see Naruto. It was uncharacteristic on his part, and clearly Shikamaru had realized this.

“From the moment I met him, his infatuation was painfully obvious. He wasn’t too bad himself. He offered to teach me how to play the guitar, which… It doesn’t take a genius to predict how that would end.”

“How romantic,” Shikamaru mocked.

Sasuke sighed.

“He wasn’t half bad at it actually. If it were anyone else, I would’ve thought the whole thing was an attempt to get in my pants.”

“Anyone else?”

Sasuke could read his friend far too easily. Sasuke knew exactly what he was doing, but even that wasn’t enough to stop Shikamaru. Sasuke would give him an answer regardless.

“Yeah, he’s old-fashioned. A romantic run by his heart.”

In fact, Sasuke thought, Naruto would do well to let his brain take the helm sometimes.

“I see,” Shikamaru said, tilting his head. “Sounds problematic. What are you going to do?”

Sasuke read into Shikamaru’s words perfectly. Sasuke hadn’t been on what one would call a “date” in years. Sasuke never wanted for sexual contact. He hadn’t expected this to become something else.

“Nothing,” Sasuke answered, frowning. “His unit is deploying to Afghanistan in a couple weeks. So much for that.”

Shikamaru said nothing. Sasuke could feel his eyes study him. It made Sasuke want to slap him.

“You seem bummed. He must have been awfully fun.”

Sasuke simply shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. Was his disappointment so obvious?

Naruto had been fun. But it wasn’t just about fun anymore.

“He’s...really set on me. He hasn’t said it, but I think he’s in love.”

Shikamaru rested his cigarette in the ashtray, widening his eyes as he pulled his head back for a moment.

“Wow.”

Even speaking about this was uncomfortable. Sasuke treated most everything with dexterity and grace, but intimacy was a new frontier for him. And when he did become close with others, it was a slow process that took years and trial by fire.

If Shikamaru had not been there for Sasuke so many times throughout his life, their bond would have never been possible. Even his staff at the Grip had barely made it past his periphery.

Yet Naruto tried to move so quickly. The worst part about this was that even if only a little, it was working.

“Yeah…” Sasuke answered, shifting in his seat. “He wants to wait for me.”

“How do you feel about this whole thing?”

Sasuke took his time before responding, and even then, he only looked at his glass.

“It’s unrealistic. We’re going to be apart for months, maybe even years. He keeps saying that he just _knows_ that he’s right about me.”

“He sounds like your polar opposite.”

Sasuke found himself growing more animated. He hadn’t spoken to anyone about this, but the entire thing was ludicrous.

But if it was so ludicrous, why did he find himself caring so much?

“That’s what I was thinking. We get along well, but a couple can be married for thirty years and still divorce. How can he be so sure when we’ve known each other for barely a month? He acts like a naive teenager. I don’t understand him.”

Sasuke felt Shikamaru’s eyes analyze him. It made him feel uncomfortable.

“Stop looking at me.”

“Sort of difficult to avoid when you’re talking to me.”

“You know what I mean.”

Shikamaru knew exactly what he meant. Sasuke could practically hear the gears turning in his brain. Shikamaru’s stare felt like an invasion of privacy. It had been a while since Shikamaru had looked at him that way.

“So, what now?”

Sasuke sighed.

“He says he’s going to wait for me, but he doesn’t expect me to wait for him. He’s been clear that he doesn’t expect me to commit. When he gets back, I suppose we’ll play it by ear.”

“What a delicate position he’s put himself in.”

Sasuke didn’t bother to frown. He knew this too well. He related to Naruto. He even felt his pain, and empathy was never Sasuke’s strong suit. He knew which of his smiles were real, and which were fake. And the brilliancy of Naruto’s most genuine smiles warmed Sasuke to his core.

Sasuke didn’t worry about himself. Cutting ties was one of the things Sasuke did best. But Naruto… Naruto was the type to never let go. He was earnest, honorable, wholesome, and far too naive. When he loved, he did so without restraint, as if he’d never been hurt, despite the obstacles that stood in the way.

It was foolish.

“I get the feeling that doing things that will get him more invested would only be cruel. I wouldn’t move _farther_ away. But I also don’t think I should be getting closer given that we’re about to separate.”

“Would this be for his sake? Or for yours?”

“His. I’m bulletproof, and I like hanging with him. I’m fine with whatever. But he’s about to go into something really grueling, with way too much time to think. The last thing he needs is to obsess over me.”

That stare again.

“Do you believe he’s weak?”

“No,” Sasuke answered without an instant’s hesitation.

In fact, Naruto seemed to be the opposite.

“Then don’t hold back and do what feels right. Naruto can make his own decisions. He knows what he needs, both here and over there, and he knows the risks. Don’t take that agency away from him.”

Sasuke frowned.

_And when shit gets rough, it’s that desire, that hope that keeps you moving, step after step. And when I’m over there, it’ll be that hope that gets me through._

That’s what Naruto had told him, just days ago.

_That’s a risk I’m willing to take. The good things in life don’t come from playing it safe. You know that._

Christ… Was Shikamaru right about this? If Sasuke walled himself off for Naruto’s sake, it would be like taking Naruto’s decision away from him. As unrealistic as Sasuke found Naruto’s expectations to be, those words stuck with him.

“Could you ever imagine yourself being in a relationship with him?”

“I couldn’t imagine myself being in a relationship with _anyone.”_

In all honesty, it was not the way he operated. He did like Naruto. He was the only person who’d made Sasuke even consider such an arrangement, but Sasuke knew himself better than anyone else did. He was not a good person. There were things that he just wasn’t capable of; he was fine with that. He’d gotten this far without it.

“If he forgot about you while he was gone, and you never saw him again, would you be okay with that?”

Sasuke adjusted himself in his seat, sucking on his lip piercing.

“I’d be fine.”

“Hm…” Shikamaru muttered, resting his chin on his interlocked hands. Sasuke glared at Shikamaru as their eyes met. “Before he leaves, I’d like to meet him.”

“What?” Sasuke asked, somewhat disbelieving. “Why?”

Shikamaru was the reclusive sort. He’d never shown any interest in meeting Sasuke’s friends before, unless he viewed them as a threat for some reason.

“It could be my last chance for a long time.”

Sasuke would’ve thought that Shikamaru wanted to size Naruto up, but Shikamaru knew Sasuke well enough to know that he could take care of himself.

“You’re acting suspicious. You’ve never asked to meet any of my friends or lovers before.”

Was Shikamaru sizing Naruto up? How unnecessary.

“You’re the one acting suspicious. Why do you care?”

“I don’t care. But your sudden interest doesn’t sit well with me.”

“Jesus, Sasuke,” Shikamaru sighed, resting his face in his hand. “It really is not that complicated. This guy might be sticking around. So let’s grab lunch together or something.”

Sasuke cast Shikamaru one of the most skeptical glares he was capable of, his arms crossed.

“Fine, but we’re _not_ coming to your house. Unlike you, he doesn’t live in a pigsty.”

“Alright. Deal.”

“And please, try not to be too embarrassing.”

* * *

“So, two more sessions?”

Naruto was manning the register, while Kiba shouted over the coffee grinder as he prepared what could have easily been his hundredth cup for the day. Both of them were wearing branded aprons.

“I’ll have a vanilla latte,” the woman in front of him spoke.

“You got it, miss! One vanilla latte, comin’ up!” Naruto said with a huge grin.

Naruto hated the way his eyes looked, with dark circles so deep. Sleep hadn’t come easily to him lately. Naruto was fine with hurting; he just didn’t like to show it. To compensate, he tried to make his smile more convincing.

He’d get back to Kiba now.

“Yeah, two more.”

“Two espressos please.”

Their shift was almost up. It could not come soon enough.

“Hey, where’s my frappé?” an older woman asked him.

“It’ll be out in just a couple minutes. Thanks for being so patient!”

That smile of his made the tips rain down. The woman’s cross expression neutralized.

“Five more minutes, man,” Kiba shouted out, his voice carrying a heavy Brooklyn accent.

They were almost free.

“That’ll be $4.25, ma’am.”

The woman fished through her wallet for her credit card.

Naruto endured the next several minutes, in the heat of the lunchtime rush. After what was five minutes too many, both of them were called off of duty. Luckily, the staff for the next shift was on time.

“Phew…” Kiba said, lifting his arms up and stretching them. “Shit, these lunch rushes never get easier. I’ve had to piss for two hours!”

“Dude, that sucks!”

“Yeah! Like the last ten minutes I was crossin’ my legs, listening to the coffee slowly trickle into the cup. Drip. Drip. _Drip_.”

Naruto laughed.

“Why’d you feel the need to tell me this?”

“Dude, you’re the king of TMI. Shut up. I’m gonna go piss,” Kiba said, cocking his head over to the restroom at the back of the shop. “When’s your appointment?”

“I have to leave in ten minutes.”

“Good, then I better see your ass out there when I’m done.”

“Don’t fall in.”

Naruto sighed as he rested against the wall, trying not to allow his mind to wander. In what couldn’t have been any longer than forty seconds, Naruto saw Kiba walk towards him. In that time, they’d both taken off their aprons.

“Hey again.”

“That was fast,” Naruto said, perking his brow.

“Yeah, well… When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.”

“Jesus Christ. Like a racehorse.”

“Yeah, I’m a regular champion,” Kiba said, scratching behind his ear and taking a seat.

Naruto sat across from him, allowing his body to slump just slightly. He’d worked alongside Kiba for three years now at Mugs. He’d been the one to train him. The guy was loud, and never did more than an hour pass without Kiba trying to make Naruto the butt of a joke. Still, he could make the hours fly.

“So, you’re seeing Mr. No Strings Attached after this?”

Plopping his head on the table, Naruto emitted a theatrical groan.

Naruto had told Kiba, in a very matter-of-fact way, that he wouldn’t be at Mugs come a couple weeks. He hadn’t expected Kiba to silence the way he did when Naruto told him the reason why. He didn’t expect Kiba to pick up on the way his hands trembled, didn’t expect him to take Naruto on a walk to calm his thoughts. Sure, they’d gone to bars together, acted as each other’s wingman, and shared an uncountable number of joints; they were friends. But this was different.

Kiba followed through. He calmed Naruto down before he broke the news to Sasuke, and they hung out again the day after. Naruto hadn’t expected to tell Kiba about Sasuke either, but one thing led to another. Besides, he’d always had Sakura to vent to before. _Someone_ had to hear his rantings.

“Hey, you got this far with him, right? He even let you call him your boyfriend.”

“Yeah…” Naruto said. “But Sasuke doesn’t care about labels. It’s intimacy that makes him nervous.”

Kiba shrugged, leaning back in his chair.

“I don’t know about him…” he sighed. “He could be telling you the truth when he says he thinks he can’t maintain a relationship. If he hasn’t had what he calls a ‘real relationship’ yet, there could be a reason why.”

“I don’t think he’s making an excuse,” Naruto said. “I think he really believes that.”

“And you’re trying to tell me that you know him better than he knows himself? That’s bold.”

“I know it sounds crazy,” Naruto sighed. “But haven’t you heard of couples who get married after knowing each other for like two months then stay together for the rest of their lives? It’s rare, but it happens.”

“Yeah, I know. Just don’t get your hopes too high, and don’t come on too strong. It might creep him out.”

Naruto nodded, frowning.

“I was pretty clear that I don’t expect commitment from him, but...I did come on strong. He seemed confused, but I don’t think I scared him away either. Maybe I should say something to reassure him?”

Sasuke had seemed downright uncomfortable, actually.

“Couldn’t hurt,” Kiba said.

“I know this might not work out… But I really like him. And while I’m over there, I’m going to need all the hope I can get. Hope’s...gotten me through a lot.”

There was a pause for a few seconds. No, Kiba didn’t know everything about Naruto’s past. Naruto didn’t want to talk about such depressing things with his friend. But for whatever reason, telling Sasuke seemed like second nature.

“I still can’t believe you’re leaving…” Kiba mumbled.

“Ha! You don’t even know what to do with yourself without me, huh? Don’t go lookin’ like someone died or something. I’ll be back in no time!”

Naruto didn’t believe his own smile, but he felt it was necessary.

“I know this is askin’ a lot because you don’t have much between the ears, but…” Kiba trailed off, staring down at the table. “Be careful.”

“Yeeeah, yeah,” Naruto answered. “Save the lecture, Pops.”

Kiba rolled his eyes.

“Welp, it’s time. See ya tomorrow, man.”

Naruto waved as he got up and walked away.

“Later!”

The instant he parted with Kiba, his mind switched tracks to Sasuke. He was glad to be going to The Grip, glad to be seeing him. Maybe it would stir up the emotions in him, make it so that not everything felt so gray. His friends helped, but Sasuke had a unique power over him.

He descended into a subway station, just barely catching the train before it left for its next stop. He now stood before the parlor. With a tingle of excitement and longing, he entered.

“Hey! Naruto!” Suigetsu called out immediately. He was tattooing a young man who couldn’t have been any older than nineteen.

“Welcome back,” Juugo said with a smile. He was manning the front desk.

“Hey guys!” Naruto replied, matching their enthusiasm. “It’s been a while! How was the party?”

“Ohhh…” Suigetsu said with a grin on his face. “I wish Karin were out here to answer that.”

“Huh?” Naruto gawked, his jaw slack. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Juugo merely snickered.

“Not a conversation for here. Maybe I’ll tell you later.”

Had Sasuke told the others that he was leaving? Sasuke had said that he’d never been in a “real” relationship. Was it out of the norm for Sasuke to invite his lover, if Naruto could call himself that, to hang out with his group? Would they ask where he was after he left for Afghanistan?

Was their friendliness an attempt to cheer him up? Did they feel sorry for him? Or had he become just a little closer to fitting into their group after he’d hung out with them a few nights ago?

He really hoped it was the latter.

Meanwhile, Sasuke sat in the back, silently watching Naruto with his arms crossed, sucking his lip piercing. Naruto approached him, a wide grin on his face. Naruto hadn’t told Sasuke that he wanted a private room this time. That went without saying.

“Be back later,” Sasuke said to the others, taking Naruto into the back door and closing it behind them.

Sasuke turned around to look at Naruto directly, whose smile had dulled considerably. A silent moment passed as they stood in front of each other. They hadn’t seen each other since the day Naruto had given him the news. They’d both had time to think on it.

Naruto reached out and put his palm to Sasuke’s cheek.

“May I?”

In response, Sasuke leaned forward, kissing him gently. Their tongues lazily connected, Sasuke’s stud making the slightest clacking noise as it slid over Naruto’s tongue and teeth. Somehow, a warmth made its way through the kiss and blunted the chill Naruto felt in his body these days.

Naruto felt awkward as he felt a soft moan escape from him, but Sasuke showed no hesitation. Naruto wrapped his arm around Sasuke’s back, his fingers playing with the blue-tipped spikes on the back of his head. This was a warm and pure kiss, not born from lust.

When they parted, Sasuke showed no difficulty in looking into Naruto’s eyes.

“How have you been?”

Sasuke’s affection was a good sign. No, he hadn’t scared him off.

“Ah…” Naruto laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. “I’ve been trying to pretend that nothing major is different. My friends and I ate at a steakhouse the other night. We’re not exactly made of cash, but... “

Naruto wanted to do these things while he still could. Sasuke seemed to understand.

“Was it worth it?”

“Yeah…” Naruto said, a slight smile on his face. “I don’t get to treat myself much, so when I do, I really enjoy it. That steak was out of this world.”

Naruto was fighting the urge to talk to Sasuke about that night. Kiba had a point. If he hit Sasuke with too much at once, it could put him on guard.

“You like steak?”

“Hah! Yeah,” Naruto answered, grinning. “Certified carnivore.”

Sasuke tsk’d.

“You seem like the sort to skip your vegetables.”

“Aahhh,” Naruto said sheepishly. “I can’t argue with that.”

“Okay, take your shirt off and lie down.”

“Well, if you insist,” Naruto answered, waggling his brows at Sasuke.

In one fluid motion, Naruto removed his shirt. Sasuke had everything set up for Naruto. He lay down, getting comfortable. In what seemed like no time, Naruto heard the buzz of the irons again. The pain, though slight, only reassured him now. It reminded him of his lover, and that made him feel safe.

It was a pain he hoped to remember in his dreams, as he fought on the other side of the planet.

“If you like steak so much, I can cook you one.”

“Seriously?” Naruto answered, his enthusiasm shining through. “I’d love to eat your cooking! But you have to do it before I leave.”

“Of course,” Sasuke answered. “Might torture you while you’re there though. You’ll think of my steak more than you’ll think of me.”

Don’t make a joke about missing the sausage. Do _not_ make a joke about the sausage.

“This whole arrangement was an elaborate ploy to get you to feed me, by the way. You have those snooty-good-cook vibes. And you know how I feel about free food.”

“Free food should be a religion.”

Naruto laughed.

“As a little kid, I didn’t get treated to buffets much, but when I did, I would always bring a bag and jam all sorts of shit in there. Pizza, breadsticks in my pocket… And of course, I’d walk out with an ice cream cone.”

“You put breadsticks in your pants?” Sasuke asked, pausing his work for a moment. “You were a weird kid. Must’ve smelled like garlic.”

“C’mon, you can’t tell me you didn’t do at least _something_ like that.”

“Pft,” Sasuke answered with a snicker. “I went to my first sit down restaurant when I was twelve. We never went to a buffet. We couldn’t afford that shit.”

“Really? What about McDonalds?”

“If a meal cost more than $2 out the door, it was out of the question.”

“I always thought my families were poor. Especially Tsunade.”

And they had been what your standard person would consider poor. Sasuke just seemed to be on another level.

“Tsunade?”

“Yeah, she’s the only one I stayed in touch with. She was my family out in California. She was having money troubles and had to give me up.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Yeah…” Naruto trailed off. “I mean, her jobs didn’t pay well, and on top of that there was her gambling addiction.”

Sasuke smirked.

“Sounds like some grade A parenting.”

“She could be irresponsible,” Naruto admitted. “But she cared, which was cool. I felt really safe and...ya know, _wanted_ there.”

“Sounds nice, despite it all.”

Naruto paused. Not many would have called his childhood “nice” in any way. He did find himself missing Tsunade, sometimes. They’d call each other for birthdays and Christmases. He wished he could’ve visited her when he was out in California for Mojave Viper, but it left no room for anything but business.

“Yeah, that part wasn’t so bad. Granny even cried when I left, though she tried not to show it.”

“Granny?”

“Yeah. I called her Granny, because it got under her skin. She was the oldest one of all my foster parents.”

“What a brat.”

“Can’t argue there,” Naruto answered, grinning.

“So how about you?” Naruto asked.

“What _about_ me?” Sasuke teased.

“What about your parents? Do you still talk?”

Sasuke paused for a moment.

“I’m fine with my mom. My father and I...aren’t on speaking terms.”

Naruto swallowed hard. He was a little surprised that Sasuke gave him an answer. He hoped that he hadn’t been too pushy.

“Ah…” Naruto answered. “I’m sorry.”

Sasuke just snickered.

“You think I give a flying fuck about him? Please.”

Naruto felt his stomach drop. Something about the situation seemed so...sad. Sasuke was never reluctant to admit that if people weren’t in his select circle, he didn’t care in the slightest what they thought about him. But this was his father. Was that really all there was to it?

“Moving on to topics of actual importance…” Sasuke continued. “The fox is almost finished. One more session, and you’ll be done.”

Naruto didn’t bother to hide his pout.

“Don’t sulk. You have plenty of room for more.”

Naruto was still frowning. He hadn’t imagined any other tattoos he’d want. For the time being, the fox etched onto his back had but five tails. He’d add more as he faced life’s obstacles, a sign of his resiliency and endurance. Each tail was earned through experience. But that wasn’t what he was so upset about.

“Or do you just like the way it feels?”

Naruto went silent for a moment. Yes, he loved the way it felt. He loved the pain, he loved who it reminded him of, he loved thinking of the ink Sasuke left on his body. How no matter what happened, that would be with him until the day he died.

“I do.”

“Hm…” Sasuke murmured. “I’ve worked on hundreds of people before. No, thousands. But I don’t recall anyone looking so beautiful underneath me.”

Naruto could’ve sworn he’d gone as red as a tomato.

That was... _quite_ a compliment, especially coming from Sasuke. His ego must’ve doubled in size. But the spin Sasuke had put on it was lethal.

“Sasuke, if you keep talking like that, I’m going to get a boner in your chair again. I swear to god.”

“Again?” Sasuke asked devilishly.

“Oh, come _on_ , don’t play stupid. Weren’t you the one going on about how you could tell I was crushing on you from the start? And if you’re wondering, it’s the ‘underneath me’ part that makes me horny, not the ‘beautiful’ part. And don’t you _dare_ pretend that your phrasing was an accident!”

“You talk a lot when you’re flustered, don’t you?”

“Fuck you, Sasuke!” Naruto was trying to stay still, and that was quite a challenge for him. “You come in here and say some corny shit like that and expect me not to react to it?”

“It’s a simple truth that you’re beautiful,” Sasuke said calmly, continuing to mark Naruto’s skin. “And your fox is almost finished. I think it’s some of my best work.”

Naruto smiled, distracted for the moment.

“I love it. It’s everything I expected and more.”

And god, he did. It was so brilliant, so skillfully etched. The line work was amazing, the colors brilliant, the shading...he’d never seen shading like that. He had to say that his favorite part about it was the look on the fox’s face, one of resilience and defiance in the face of all obstacles. It did, and probably always would, remind him of Sasuke.

“If...you really do want to remember me while you’re gone, like you said… It shouldn’t be difficult.”

Naruto chuckled.

“I’m pretty sure I’ll remember you forever,” Naruto hummed, his mind wandering. “Unless I got dementia or something. Why is there a fox on my back? When did this happen? Oh my god, it’s the Illuminati!”

When he heard Sasuke laugh, even if quietly and under his breath, it felt like an enormous accomplishment.

“You’re so weird.”

“You’re a little weird too then,” Naruto laughed. “For liking a weirdo like me.”

Sasuke just groaned. Finally, silence fell between them.

“Do the guys at the shop… Do they know…”

Sasuke took the reins from him, reading Naruto perfectly.

“They asked if you were going to hang out with us more. I told them the truth. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind,” Naruto said. “How did they react?”

“They’re disappointed.”

Naruto felt guilty for his happiness at that remark.

“So… Do you think they liked me?”

Naruto could practically hear Sasuke roll his eyes.

“If they didn’t like you, trust me, you’d know.”

Naruto was beaming now. Even if he was just about to leave, the fact that the rest of the staff would miss him meant a lot.

“Hey, I…” Naruto started off. “I hope I didn’t scare you with everything I said the other night. I promise not to make things weird if…”

“I’m not so easily scared, Naruto,” Sasuke answered, relieving the burden from Naruto.

Naruto felt like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. Sasuke’s confidence in addressing this came as a relief.

“I mean if things don’t work out, I’m not gonna go all Fatal Attraction on you. I’m taking risks here, and I realize that it’s not your fault if I get hurt.”

“Good to know you’re not a fan of boiling pet rabbits.”

“Uuggh,” Naruto grimaced. “I don’t like to think about that scene.”

Naruto stared off at the wall opposite to them as Sasuke worked on his back.

“You take large risks.”

Sasuke still didn’t see eye to eye with him on this, but Sasuke had nothing to lose here. It was Naruto who was making himself vulnerable.

“I’m strong enough to handle whatever happens. Don’t be afraid of hurting me. I want to get close. Before I leave, I want to get to know you as much as I can. If I’m going to take this risk, I’m not half-assing it.”

Sasuke nodded.

“Ya know, I feel kind of dumb, but…”

Naruto strengthened his resolve to continue. Everything Sasuke had done so far had reassured him.

“I’ve hung out with a lot of people since we talked last. It’s only been four days, but no matter what I do, I’ve really been missing you.”

“That’s not dumb, Naruto,” Sasuke answered, his voice soft as he continued to mark Naruto’s skin.

“Am I alone? Do you ever miss me...even if just a little?”

Sasuke paused. He remembered Shikamaru’s words. The sudden lull led Naruto to turn around. Sasuke’s features were relaxed, a pensive expression on his face.

“I...wondered if it would have been better if I kept us as we are, if moving closer would be cruel. I’ve already told you that I doubt that we’ll work out as a committed couple, because I don’t do that sort of thing. I needed some time, but I respect your decision. I won’t hold back.”

Sasuke’s doubts were nothing new to Naruto. He respected that Sasuke needed time. Sasuke was right that they hadn’t been dating for long, hadn’t even known each other for long. There were so many things they needed to learn about each other. For whatever reason, Sasuke doubted his ability to be Naruto’s lover. Naruto still had no idea why.

“So yes, I did miss you.”

Naruto couldn’t help the smile that emerged on his face. Sasuke had missed him. He _meant_ something to Sasuke.

“Thanks for telling me that. I don’t feel so stupid now.”

“No matter what happens…” Sasuke began. “I hope that we can hang out again when you get back.”

Naruto had already accepted that Sasuke wouldn’t be committing himself to Naruto, so this… Naruto felt like he was glowing.

“Yes, god. Even if we’re only friends, that would be enough for me. I just...don’t want you to slip away.”

“I won’t. As long as you promise not to ‘go all Fatal Attraction’ on me, as you put it.”

 He laughed at Sasuke’s reference. He had confidence in his ability to keep things amicable, should the romantic portion of their relationship end.

“Yeah, I won’t make it weird.”

Sasuke had lived in Manhattan almost his entire life, and he seemed to shun committed relationships like the plague. If this was true, when Naruto got back… There was a good chance that he could pick up where they left off.

He’d never given up. Not for a second. But it seemed so real to him now.

“While you’re gone…” Sasuke continued. He stopped his work. “Maybe we could talk every few weeks, if they allow that. I don’t know the procedure.”

Sasuke offered this, because he knew that Naruto would have never done it himself. He was being respectful of Sasuke, trying not to push him. But whether Sasuke liked it or not, he cared about Naruto. There was something special about him that drew him in, even in this limited time that they’d known each other. He didn’t want to lose Naruto either.

Naruto couldn’t help his reaction. He felt embarrassed as his eyes watered. If he could hear Sasuke’s voice while he was away… It would give him such strength, such happiness.

“ _Of course!_ It’s not tough. We have satellite phones to get around the shitty reception. We could easily talk that much, even more.”

His hands were shaking. God, how embarrassing.

“I’m sorry, Sasuke. I… I hope I’m not creeping you out, reacting like this, but… I’m going to be stuck out in the middle of the desert. It’s going to be…so lonely, and I’m going to see some things I’d rather not see… Just to hear your voice, to know you’re still thinking about me…”

“Naruto, sit up.”

Naruto glanced back at Sasuke questioningly, his eyes glassy. Sasuke set his irons to the side, sitting on his chair right next to Naruto. Taking care not to bump his tattoo, Naruto pivoted his body to face Sasuke. In a matter of seconds Sasuke leaned forward, kissing Naruto deeply and slowly.

Sasuke rested his large palm over Naruto’s trembling digits, and Naruto clenched Sasuke’s hand in his own. Sasuke gave him a tight squeeze back. Naruto remembered the way Sasuke’s hand had flinched away when he’d reached out to it, after they’d slept together.

That flinch made anxiety bubble up in his stomach. And god, it had hurt so badly when Sasuke had told Naruto to forget about him.

“Thank you, Sasuke,” Naruto said, kissing Sasuke’s forehead. “Thank you…” Naruto kissed his neck.

He rested his forehead against Sasuke’s, their breath mingling together.

“I want these ten days with you to be something I can look back on while I’m gone. Something that will make me happy and give me hope, ya know?”

Sasuke nodded.

“If you’ll allow it,” Naruto said tentatively. “I want to see you a lot.”

“I want that too.”

A pause.

“No matter what happens, I’m in your ring, okay?”

Naruto wasn’t sure why, but Sasuke’s eyes seemed brighter than they ordinarily did. Naruto squeezed Sasuke’s hand tighter, resting his head on Sasuke’s chest. Sasuke reached around and perched his gloved hand on Naruto’s head.

“Naruto, I’m going to miss you.”

Naruto could feel the warmth of Sasuke’s body against his face, could hear his heartbeat… His head moved ever so slightly with Sasuke’s breath, his ribs moving in and out.

“I’ll miss you too, Sasuke…” Naruto said, moving his face up and pecking Sasuke on the lips. “You don’t know the half of it.”


	12. Four's Company

Naruto’s phone announced an incoming call as he stretched into the warmth of his shower’s spray. It wasn’t his habit to keep the phone nearby at such a time, but given his current situation, he’d found it prudent. He opened the shower door, quickly peeking at its small display to see a familiar string of digits.

It was...Sasuke?

Strange.

Even stranger that it was just past five in the morning, the faintly illuminated night sky foreshadowing the sun’s emergence. Yesterday, Naruto e-mailed Sasuke his work schedule for the next two weeks, which cut off at the eighth day, marking Naruto’s deployment. Sasuke knew that Naruto had work at six in the morning sharp.

Naruto turned the water off abruptly, shampoo still in his hair. Of course, he wouldn’t be letting Sasuke know that.

“Top of the mornin’ to you, lass,” Naruto greeted Sasuke with a composure that didn’t fail.

“What is this, a Lucky Charms commercial?” Sasuke quipped, only for Naruto to laugh.

“So, what’re you up to at the asscrack of dawn this lovely Friday morning?”

“Just showered, sitting on the patio.”

“Aren’t you cold?”

“No, not with this robe.”

Naruto imagined Sasuke perched dozens of floors above the already steady current of people as he sipped at a cup of coffee in his robe. When Naruto had awoken, just minutes ago, shades of orange and yellow began to form on the horizon, beneath the sky’s blanket of deep blue.

Naruto wished he could be there right now.

“That sounds so comfortable… I’d be jealous if it weren’t fucking five in the morning. Why are you up?”

“I don’t know. It’s almost like I’m an insomniac.”

Naruto snickered. How many times had Sasuke told him this?

“Aw, you must’ve gotten a few hours at least?” Naruto pressed.

Sasuke couldn’t have just pulled an all-nighter.

“I was in and out for an hour or two.”

Naruto frowned, despite himself. That sounded miserable, even unsustainable. How did Sasuke’s body hold up?

“I’m sorry, Sasuke. That sucks.”

“I’m on my second pot of coffee. I’ll live.”

“Jesus Christ, dude, how much coffee do you drink?”

“It’d be simpler if I took it intravenously. Not sure why my doctor’s so hesitant.”

Naruto chuckled. He was enjoying hearing from Sasuke, even if only the tiny things about him, like how he’d slept the night before.

“Uchiha Sasuke: 60% water, 40% coffee. Wait…” Naruto stopped to reconsider. “60% water, 35% coffee, 5% ink. Do not microwave. Hand wash. Caution: Contents are extremely hot.”

Sasuke simply smirked.

“You’re right about the last part.”

“Don’t worry, Sasuke,” Naruto added, beaming. “I’ll ‘hand wash’ you any day of the week.”

His mind was getting carried away with him now. Bathing Sasuke? Showering with Sasuke? He felt his blood move south, but he didn’t mind it. Who wouldn’t find such a thing arousing?

“Don’t miss a spot.”

Naruto wasn’t blushing. It was the hot water. His cheeks had been red long before this conversation. Nope.

Sasuke was absolutely savage.

“Christ, Sasuke, you’re _killing_ me. Killing me dead.”

“Oh?”

Sasuke’s tone, so teasing and mockingly innocent, was absolutely _lethal_.

“Yes! _‘OH,_ ’” Naruto mocked. “You sadistic little fucker.”

“Where are you?” Sasuke asked, paying Naruto’s words no mind.

“I’m…” Naruto paused, not sure if he should be honest, since the fact that he stopped in the middle of his shower to talk to Sasuke was a little embarrassing. “I’m in the shower.”

“Nice image.”

Sasuke’s tone was so sensual, so _suggestive_.

Naruto didn’t answer, because he had no idea what to say.

“Do you have a boner?”

The direct way Sasuke had of asking this all but knocked the wind out of him.

“No.”

“Liar.”

That fucking _asshole_.

For as much as Sasuke talked about not knowing each other, he was beginning to figure Naruto out pretty quickly.

“Get over yourself!” Naruto shouted, almost dropping his phone as he fumbled.

“When do you have to leave for work?” Sasuke asked, his bravado unaffected.

“I have thirty minutes.”

“Turn on the shower again, but keep me on the phone.”

Naruto wasn’t sure what Sasuke’s intent was. Was this headed in the direction that he thought it was? God, he sure hoped so.

“Okay,” Naruto obeyed. “I’m gonna put you on speaker so I don’t get the phone wet.”

Naruto reached around his shower door and set the phone immediately next to him, turning up the phone to max volume.

“Sure,” Sasuke replied.

His low voice boomed and echoed throughout the bathroom, a heavy steam working up in the room. Naruto quickly fumbled and turned the volume down a couple notches.

“I want you to stand in front of the water and feel it. _Everywhere_. How hard are you?”

Naruto felt his heart speed up, his face flushing from both the heat in the room and Sasuke’s lewd commands.

He was direct. Forceful.

“Um…” Naruto answered, feeling a little shy suddenly. “About half-way.”

He felt embarrassed the moment he said it.

“Good. Reach around and hold your cock in your hand. Tap the tip with your thumb a few times.”

Naruto did so, at the slow pace he knew that Sasuke would have adopted had he been there in person.

“Nnn,” he let out the neediest, quietest moan, and then he silenced himself.

“I heard that,” Sasuke inserted. “Don’t hold back. I want everyone to know how good I make you feel.”

It was as if the words leaving Sasuke’s lips came with their own touch, making him weak and needy, caressing his most sensitive spots in just the right way.

“Drag your nails along the shaft, just barely touching. Speckle your fingers against it.”

Naruto’s toes were curling.

“This is such a tease,” Naruto said, doing his best to sound in control. “If I get too impatient, I’ll disobey.”

Sasuke clucked his tongue, and Naruto heard the _slightest_ amount of laughter make its way over the receiver. As quiet as it was, it still echoed off of the walls of the bathroom.

“Disobeying me is a mistake,” Sasuke said. “You don’t know what my punishment is like, but if you keep being such a brat, I’ll teach you.”

“I wouldn’t mind…” Naruto said in a breathy voice. “I wouldn’t mind being punished, if it’s coming from you.”

Sasuke’s voice silenced for just a moment.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” Sasuke said, his voice the slightest bit threatening.

“Heh,” Naruto answered, rising to the bait. “If you go too far, then I’ll punish you right back.”

“Sure,” Sasuke answered, dismissiveness absolutely drenching his tone. “Good luck with that.”

Naruto was torn between melting and launching into battle. The air around him was sticky and hot, his breaths feeling laborious.

“The hell’s that supposed to mean? Sasuke, I could hold you down with one hand. Do you understand the training I’ve gone through? I can kill someone with my bare hands. I could crush you. I could destroy you in _every_ sense of the word. You are the one who’d be powerless beneath me, got it?”

Silence. It was so _very_ sweet to Naruto.

“I have my own weapons. Don’t underestimate me.”

Nothing he did got a rise out of this guy. He could bench press Sasuke, dammit! Where did he get off putting him on the defense?

“Hey, Sasuke…” Naruto answered, and now it was his tone that was impish. “Don’t tell me you’re not a little hard yourself now.”

“I won’t deny it,” Sasuke said without hesitation.

Sasuke’s bluntness only drove him forward.

“Sasuke, you should join me,” Naruto murmured, swept up. “Come inside and make yourself comfortable.”

“I’m perfectly comfortable out here.”

“Right,” Naruto chuckled. “If it weren’t private enough for you to be forty-something stories in the air, you’re wearing that big robe.”

He couldn’t help but imagine Sasuke’s peaceful visage as he looked out over the city, wrapped in a thick plush robe.

“What are you doing with your hands?” Sasuke interrupted.

“I’m being good,” Naruto sighed. “Do you want to touch yourself?”

Naruto knew that he’d never get away with issuing commands; at least not yet, and not over the phone. He could practically see Sasuke sitting there sucking on one of his lip piercings as he gauged his options.

It still felt like torture to restrain himself.

“Stop suckin’ on that lip piercing of yours and give me an answer, would ya?” Naruto said, his voice a bit breathy from the heat of the shower and his arousal.

Sasuke clucked his tongue. Naruto had been right.

“You don’t complain about my oral fixation when I’m sucking your cock.”

Just as Naruto had become comfortable and had fallen into the element, Sasuke tried to take the reins from him. Naruto couldn’t help but remember the first time Sasuke had sucked him off, after he’d pierced Naruto’s ears. He tugged on the small black stud adorning his earlobe - a reminder.

“That tongue stud of yours is fun. The way you’d tease it over my slit made my toes curl,” Naruto told him, giving the slightest chuckle at his admission.

Naruto bit his tongue. His erection was swelling, and these light touches that Sasuke had permitted were a tease. He was aching, and Sasuke was silent.

“Remember the beach? When you jacked both of us off together? I was crazy about the way your metal felt against me. And god...  The way you looked in the moonlight… Remember how it felt?”

“Vaguely,” Sasuke answered impishly.

“Vaguely my ass,” Naruto smirked.

“I could never insult your ass.”

Naruto chuckled, taking his victories where he could. As casually as Sasuke had said this, it made his heart beat a little faster.

“Are you imagining that time?”

“Yeah. Are you?”

“Vividly, down to the scent of the ocean.”

“Good. Then pump yourself,” Sasuke ordered, his voice authoritative and deep. “Long, easy strokes.”

Naruto obeyed, pumping himself and letting out a small, needy moan despite himself. He noticed that Sasuke’s breath came out just a little raspy.

“Are you doing the same?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Please, tell me. I want to imagine it.”

“Yeah. I’m pumping back and forth, and every few seconds, I’ll tug on one of my piercings.”

Naruto felt himself blush.

“Jesus... The shower water feels so good. I’m so hot…”

In both senses of the word, really. He flattened his right palm against the wall to brace himself, not knowing what moisture on his body was due to sweat and what was due to steam.

“Mn, I can’t wait until I can fuck you again. I was gentle last time. I’ll slam into you and leave scratches down your back.”

He knew that Sasuke played rough. He’d only seen the beginning of this, he was sure. But he could take whatever Sasuke had to dish out.

“Join me, Sasuke. I want to know you’re doing it too. I want to hear it in your voice.”

Sasuke began to pump. Naruto heard his panting over the phone. Naruto joined him, pumping quickly and then ever so slightly pinching his tip.

He felt so humiliated when precum trickled down his tip, only to be washed away by the water within seconds. He situated his hips so that the water’s spray hit him in just the right places. He couldn’t tell Sasuke this.

Sasuke sounded beautiful. His slow and slightly labored breaths echoed off of the bathroom walls, just audible above his shower. When he closed his eyes, it was as if Sasuke were right next to him. Naruto sped up.

“Sasuke, I think I’m… I think I’m gonna cum…”

“Do it.”

“Ahn!” Naruto cried out, a healthy spurt hitting the wall as he came. He didn’t even bother to hide his moans, his orgasm too cruelly delayed. He hoped that his neighbors weren’t home, but even if they were…

“Fuck… The neighbors probably heard that one.”

Sasuke didn’t respond, his breathing becoming slightly quicker.

“You wanted that all along, didn’t you? Such a show off.”

“What can I say? I get off on humiliating you.”

Naruto chuckled, still bathing in the afterglow. Naruto was well aware that Sasuke’s mentality on this topic was not confined to the bedroom.

“Chase it, bastard. I want you to feel good too.”

“Nnn,” Sasuke murmured.

“Would it help if I talk to you?”

Sasuke paused for a moment.

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Naruto answered mischievously.

“To be blunt, I want to fuck you. I know it’ll be a fight. I don’t care. I’ll use every muscle in my body to hold you down, tie you up, so you couldn’t even fight if you tried.”

God, he wished he could see Sasuke at this very moment.

“Don’t stop…” Sasuke breathed out.

Naruto blushed all over again. Sasuke was into this?

“Blindfold you and bite into your shoulder just as you’re on the brink. I’d make it hurt. Imagine that pain.”

“Shit…”

“Tug on your nipples. I could play with those forever.”

“I’m close…”

“I wish you could cum on me. All over me. I want to be covered in you. I want to hear you…”

Sasuke was breathing quickly, and the sound of it in his room made his whole body tingle. He let out a low moan, quiet at first but reaching a crescendo. And at long last, Sasuke let loose. There was no mistaking it, a restrained moan filling Naruto’s bathroom and abruptly halting.

Sasuke’s breathing became longer, went to a still…

“How did it feel?” Naruto asked.

“How do you think it felt?” Sasuke responded with a sarcasm that had no bite.

“Do you think you can sleep now?”

“I think I can try. But as lovely as this digression was, it’s not why I called you.”

“Oh?”

Naruto couldn’t help but get his hopes up.

“I’m going for drinks with an old friend of mine tonight. Do you want to come?”

“Do you even have to ask? Hell yeah!”

“Good. We’re meeting up at 10 after the shop closes. Bring a friend if you want.”

Naruto knew just who he’d be inviting.

“Where?”

“A place called The Tavern. It’s in the Meatpacking District.”

“You can count on me! I’ll see you there.”

“Great. I’ll leave you to get ready for work. Try not to daydream about me too much.”

“Get over yourself,” Naruto answered, though Sasuke had been entirely correct.

“Uh huh. Later, idiot.”

“Later. Get some sleep, snookums.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Sasuke had just sealed his fate.

“Sure, snookums. Off to bed with you.”

“Bye, dumbass.”

Naruto couldn’t help but grin as Sasuke hung up, already missing the sound of his voice. His day had just become much more pleasant.

* * *

Every hour he spent until 10 felt like torture. His eyes kept finding their way back to the clock as he churned out lattes, espressos, and frappes at lightning pace.

He wanted to see Sasuke again. Kiba had been more than glad to accept Naruto’s invitation. Kiba was every bit as social as Naruto was, if not moreso. And he was eager to meet that guy Naruto kept talking about, and Naruto would be leaving in a week. He highly doubted he was worth all the hype.

Naruto met up with Kiba at the station.

“Daaaamn, you look good,” Kiba said, taking in Naruto’s outfit.

He’d dressed to impress. His jeans were skin tight, and he wore a muscle top that showed off his strong arms. The top of his tattoo peeked out from around the straps.

He wished he could’ve just gone shirtless. He still got excited every time he saw his back in the mirror. He wanted to show everyone. He cursed this drawback of having an easily concealed tattoo. Playing it safe was such a tease.

“When do I not?” Naruto answered, with a big grin on his face.

“Dressing up for your man… It’s cute, really.”

“No, I always dress like this.”

“Uh huh.”

“I do!” Naruto said at a louder volume, flustered. “You know I’m hot.”

“Is this when you start bragging again about your almost modeling shoot?”

“Up to two hundred dollars, she said!” Naruto insisted. “I don’t see you earning two hundred dollars with your face.”

“Neither did you. Good thing you have a pretty face, because there’s nothing underneath the hood.”

“Hey!” Naruto squawked. “ _You’re_ the one who almost forgot to close up today.”

“Details, details…” Kiba trailed off. He craned his head around, looking at Naruto’s back.

“Damn, that is coming along nicely. He’s a prick, but at least he’s a talented prick.”

“Yeah! Look…”

Naruto was more than ready to take off his shirt and brag about his new piece.

“It’s almost finished. I just need one more session. C’mon.”

Naruto put his shirt back on and began to walk toward the bar. It was just less than a block away.

“Fuck, I’m jealous. I don’t have the cash to blow.”

“Well…” Naruto answered sheepishly. “It was a splurge.”

Though his wages from the military certainly helped matters. Without it, he could’ve never afforded it.

“Yeah, I know your dumb ass is broke.”

“In a week, the debt collectors will never be able to find me. Alphonse can’t break my legs there,” Naruto teased.

“Please, you’re strapped anyway.”

After Naruto finished training for the Marines, he kept two pistols in his apartment: a Glock 37 and a Beretta M9. He wanted to ensure that whatever skills he learned in training stuck with him, and even Mojave Viper didn’t seem adequate to him. It was no different from the hours he spent at the gym.

“Rarely. I’m not going to Mugs with my Glock.”

“Yeah, but isn’t it tempting sometimes?” Kiba smirked.

“Fair point,” Naruto said.

The restaurant was in view now. Sasuke and a man that he didn’t recognize were waiting outside. Of course, Sasuke looked great. When did he not? They hadn’t noticed them yet.

“Okay, I admit that he’s hot,” Kiba murmured, so only Naruto could hear. “If I had so much of a speck of gay in me, I’d have no problem giving him a ride.”

Before Naruto could answer, Sasuke turned over to them, flicking them a quick wave. Naruto and Kiba walked up to them.

“Hey, Sasuke!” Naruto said, patting Sasuke on the back.

From the moment Naruto laid eyes on Sasuke, he wanted to kiss him, hold him, love him… But they weren’t alone.

“Hey,” Sasuke answered.

Naruto checked his watch. They were a single minute late.

“I hope you weren’t out there waiting for us for too long.”

“I just got here,” Sasuke replied. “By some miracle, my asswipe of a friend Shikamaru was actually five minutes early.”

Sasuke cocked his head over in Shikamaru’s direction.

“Hi, Shikamaru, nice to meet ya!” Naruto said with the widest grin he could muster, reaching out to shake his hand. Shikamaru accepted, giving Naruto a loose and rather lackluster handshake.

“Nice to meet you,” he responded flatly.

“This is my friend Kiba. He’s also an asswipe.”

“Hey!” Kiba said rowdily, shaking Shikamaru’s hand and then reaching out for Sasuke’s.

Sasuke hesitated a moment before accepting Kiba’s offer.

“I’ll get us seated,” Sasuke said, walking off to speak with the server. Soon enough, she’d ushered the four of them to their table.

The bar was noisy, though not to the point that they’d have difficulty speaking to each other. They were set aside in the corner of the room, at Sasuke’s request. Sasuke and Shikamaru sat on one side of the table, where Naruto and Kiba took the other, with Naruto facing Sasuke and Kiba facing Shikamaru.

“You ever been here before?” Naruto asked Shikamaru.

“No. I don’t go out much.”

“Jesus, are you like Sasuke’s twin or something?” Naruto asked.

“Don’t compare me to that loser,” Shikamaru answered with a frown.

Kiba laughed.

“Yeah, I feel you on that one,” he answered, cocking his head over to Naruto.

“Shut your dumb ass up! I make you cool just through osmosis,” Naruto rebutted, sticking his tongue out at Kiba.

“I’ll clear this up,” Sasuke intercepted, looking at Shikamaru and Naruto. “Neither of you are cool. Better?”

Kiba laughed, yet again, but said nothing.

“But you clearly think I’m worth it, snookums. What does that say about you?”

Shikamaru hid his mouth with his hand, snickering.

“Call me that _one more time..._ ” Sasuke growled.

“Or what?”

“Naruto, the fact that you’re still alive after saying that is a miracle,” Shikamaru told him. “Don’t push your luck.”

Naruto pouted.

“I think it fits him,” Kiba tacked on. “He looks like a snookums.”

Clearly, Kiba was having fun with this.

“I hope you’re being ironic,” Sasuke stated.

“Hey, I am a visionary. I see things for how they are.”

“Yeah, Sasuke, you gotta trust us on this.”

“Jesus fucking Christ…” Sasuke groaned. “It’s like I’m seeing double. You’re both idiots.”

“Uh, I think you meant to say that we’re both freaking _brilliant_ ,” Naruto corrected.

Sasuke simply rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“No, it’s live action Dumb and Dumber.”

“That movie sucked,” Shikamaru remarked.

“I know, but it was convenient material.”

“Such lazy wit,” Shikamaru trailed off.

“You have no right to call out laziness in any context. A sloth could outwork you.”

“I won’t deny it.”

A young man, tall and quite fashionable, took orders at the table next to them.

“We should decide what we’re going to order,” Shikamaru said.

“Is anyone getting an entree?” Kiba asked.

“I already ate dinner,” Shikamaru answered.

Sasuke and Naruto both nodded.

“Same,” Kiba said.

“Let’s get an appetizer,” Naruto proposed.

“I like the sound of that,” Shikamaru agreed.

“Sasuke, you’ve been here before, right?” Kiba asked. “What’s good?”

“Their shrimp skewers are really good. The spinach artichoke dip too.”

“Those both sound pretty good,” Shikamaru mused.

“Tough decision,” Kiba concurred.

“Let’s get both!” Naruto interjected. “As long as we don’t leave leftovers behind, I’m sure Sasuke will be fine.”

Shikamaru glanced over at Naruto curiously, just for a moment. Was it just him, or was Shikamaru staring at him?

“Dude, who even leaves leftovers?” Kiba asked. “It ain’t smart to waste food.”

Naruto was grateful his friend had said this. Sasuke took leftovers seriously, as he should.

“It’s against common sense,” Sasuke nodded.

“Common sense ain’t so common anymore. These damn WASP motherfuckers will come into Mugs. That’s where Naruto and I work, by the way. And they’ll throw half their damned drinks away. Shit, you think my family would indulge in fancy shit like that growin’ up? Some way to teach the kids...”

Kiba could be quite talkative, but Sasuke wasn’t ignoring him.

They were interrupted as their waiter came to their table, pen in hand.

“Welcome to The Tavern! Anything to drink?”

The man looked down at Naruto, likely about to make his way around the table.

“I’ll have a rum and Coke. And we’re ready to order some appetizers too.”

The waiter nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“We’ll have a spinach artichoke dip and the skewered shrimp.”

“Great selections. What’ll you be having?”

Kiba placed an order for a vodka and sprite, Shikamaru ordered a PBR, and Sasuke ordered a Bloody Mary, ending the circle. The waiter was off.

“Can’t believe you still drink PBR,” Sasuke said, rolling his eyes. “Do you think you’re a frat boy?”

Their banter was familiar. Sasuke had said Shikamaru was an old friend of his; it made Naruto curious.

“How did you guys meet, anyway?” Naruto asked casually.

“Shikamaru was inflicted upon me in elementary school, and I haven’t been able to shake him since.”

“We’ve known each other for almost twenty years,” Shikamaru added. “It never gets any easier.”

“That’s so awesome!” Naruto chimed in.

“We went to the same school up until high school graduation,” Shikamaru explained. “And he’s still around, like herpes or something.”

“Crude…” Sasuke remarked rolling his eyes. “And you’d be the chlamydia.”

“You know how Sasuke constantly acts like an insufferable asshole?” Shikamaru asked. “Well, I’ll save you twenty years. His hard-to-get shit is not an act, and he never gets nicer.”

Naruto smiled.

“That’s okay, because I like Sasuke how he is. He’s like a porcupine or something. So bristly all the time. I wonder if porcupines get lonely sometimes…” Naruto trailed off.

Shikamaru tilted his head to the side, giving the matter genuine thought.

“Not if they have other porcupines to keep them company,” Kiba replied.

“I guess that’s true. Can they hurt each other with their quills?”

“I wonder how they mate…” Kiba asked.

“Carefully,” Shikamaru pitched in.

Sasuke looked at the rest, his expression speaking for him, “Am I the only sane person at this table?”

“Hey, Sasuke, make sure not to prick me, okay?” Naruto asked with a full-fledged grin.

“I’ll do much more than prick you,” he smirked, clearly not caring that their two friends were right next to him.

Naruto felt blood rush to his cheeks, but he also couldn’t help but feel boastful. He was proud that someone like Sasuke was interested in him, proud to flaunt it in front of both his and Sasuke’s friend.

“Oh shiiit! We have a live wire!” Kiba whooped.

“You have no idea,” Shikamaru volunteered for Sasuke.

Their server was back, with a large plate. He unloaded their appetizers and all of their drinks.

“So how did the two of you meet?” Shikamaru asked, looking at both Naruto and Kiba.

“We met three years ago working at this coffee shop in Midtown,” Kiba answered.

Naruto nodded.

“Yeah, Mugs. I’d worked there for about a year before Kiba did. I trained him in the way of the coffee.”

“Ah, I see your game now, Sasuke,” Shikamaru baited. “It’s all an elaborate ploy to exploit him for his barista skills, isn’t it?”

Naruto and Shikamaru both picked at the artichoke dip, the two of them careful not to make a mess in breaking the cheese. They both went in for a bite. Meanwhile, Kiba took a shrimp skewer, with Sasuke following close behind.

“Foiled,” Sasuke conceded. “Just a desperate addict.”

“Damn!” Naruto said, taking a bite of the dip. “You’re right. This is delicious!”

“Yeah, the shrimp too,” Kiba added, in the middle of his chewing. “Good recs, dude.”

Sasuke shrugged, enjoying his drink and taking a sip of his Bloody Mary. The lengthy silence that descended upon the table was the telltale sign that everyone was enjoying their food and drink. Maybe they were hungrier than they’d thought.

“Right, so we got the friend stories, but onto the real meat of things…” Kiba said, taking a long sip off his gin and topic. “How’d the two of you go from artist and client to well…this.”

“Kiba!” Naruto interrupted. “I already told you. Why are you asking Sasuke?”

“Another perspective never hurts. But what inspired you to take him to lunch after what, his first session? That’s pretty bold.”

Sasuke and Shikamaru both raised their brows in unison. Shikamaru knew too?! Naruto choked on his shrimp, clawing against the table. Then Sasuke cast Naruto a smirk. Dammit.

“Sasuke is just bold like that,” Naruto said, scratching the back of his head.

“No no,” Kiba disagreed. “I’m not stupid. What were those knowing looks about?”

Naruto finally sighed.

“Fine. I... I passed out, okay?”

Kiba stared at Naruto for a moment, jaw dropped and eyes wide opened. Then he bent down, laughing and pounding his fist on the table.

“Oh my god… Oh. My. God.”

Kiba carried on, continuing to laugh and wiping a tear from his eye. Naruto felt his face go beet red. Even Sasuke gave the slightest ghost of a chuckle, with Shikamaru sighing and shaking his head.

“It was because I hadn’t eaten! I was all light-headed, and Sasuke took me to get some lunch. There. Now you know.”

“Jesus… That’s too rich. I never took you for a wimp, though. What the hell?”

“It’s more common than you’d think,” Sasuke said. “Adrenaline, being stuck on your stomach for hours, low blood sugar, and changing positions abruptly like he did… It all combined.”

Sasuke was...defending him? Naruto smiled despite himself.

“Changing positions…” Kiba said, laughing to himself as he took another bite of shrimp.

“Grow up already,” Naruto said, smacking Kiba behind the head.

That didn’t stop Kiba from laughing.

“Oh man. That is the most hilarious meet up story I’ve heard in my life, and that’s saying something.”

“Sasuke, I can’t believe you told Shikamaru too…” Naruto mumbled.

“He kept you anonymous,” Shikamaru told him. “I read between the lines.”

Sasuke glared at Shikamaru.

“All three of you, tell _no one_. I’m vowing you to secrecy.”

“I don’t accept the vow,” Kiba said.

“Accept the fucking vow!” Naruto shouted, gesticulating wildly and causing a few stares.

Sasuke took a chip, dunking it into the dip before bringing it to his mouth.

“You think I’d give up this golden blackmail opportunity? You must be out of your damned mind.”

Naruto crossed his arms and huffed.

“Some friend you are.”

“Oh my god… I still can’t get over it,” Kiba chortled, shaking his head and laughing again, now addressing Sasuke. “I thought you taking Naruto to lunch so soon was weird, but it makes sense now.”

The minutes flew by as they transitioned from topic to topic. Next thing they knew, they’d gone through both appetizers and their first round of drinks. When the server came to their table again, they ordered another round.

“Shit, this might be my last round,” Kiba said. “My shift starts at the asscrack of dawn tomorrow.”

Sasuke gave Naruto a quick glance, as if to say, “So that’s where you got that expression from.”

“Yeah, I have a busy day tomorrow too,” Shikamaru added.

Sasuke cast him a skeptical glance.

“No, really. I have quite the demanding client on my tail.”

Sasuke seemed placated by this. It just occurred to Naruto that Shikamaru was the only person at the table who hadn’t revealed his occupation.

“What do you do for work, Shikamaru?”

“I do penetration coding and testing for startup tech companies,” Shikamaru responded with practiced ease.

Naruto cast Kiba a warning glance the instant he heard Shikamaru use the word “penetration.” Kiba looked back at him innocently.

“Ah…” Naruto answered, his cluelessness painfully obvious. “Sounds fun! Sasuke tells me you’re pretty smart.”

“It’s mentally demanding, but the thrill’s in the chase, so to speak.”

Their server returned, placing their second round of drinks in front of them. Naruto could’ve sworn he felt the slightest buzz starting.

“Jeeez, you two have the coolest careers! Kiba and I suck.”

Sasuke was being strategically silent, Naruto assumed. He scooped some dip up with his chip.

“Most would consider being a Marine is fairly impressive, Naruto,” Shikamaru said.

This compliment, especially coming from Sasuke’s best friend, made Naruto glow.

“Okay, then only Kiba sucks,” Naruto teased, playfully punching Kiba’s shoulder.

“Dammit! I used to be in a band in high school!” Kiba griped.

“Oh yeah! Kiba, Sasuke plays the piano. He’s really good!”

“Have you heard him?” Shikamaru asked.

“Yeah, he played for me! It was...”

Awesome, breath-taking, enchanting, he’d wanted to say, but with Sasuke right there…

“It was nice,” Naruto finished a little awkwardly. “Kiba is good at the drums.”

“Such a loud instrument suits you,” Sasuke said.

Naruto inwardly sighed in relief that he was able to change the subject.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kiba bristled.

“I wonder.”

Naruto knew that Sasuke wasn’t going to give, and Kiba could be quite excitable.

“Kiba, you’re pretty loud,” Naruto admitted, hoping to stave off any conflict. “He’s just tellin’ the truth.”

“Yeah, I guess. But loud’s not bad. I say, go big or go home!”

“Hell yeah!” Naruto added with a grin. “Sometimes, Kiba and I play together. We’re just messing around, but it’s so fun!”

“Naruto, you’re killin’ me here,” Kiba answered.

“What do you mean?”

“Do I really have to explain it to you?” Kiba asked.

“To be fair, that was glaringly obvious,” Sasuke admitted.

“See?” Kiba said. “Even Sasuke admits how dirty that sounds.”

Shikamaru chuckled, “ _Even_ Sasuke...”

“Stop laughing,” Sasuke told Shikamaru.

“No.”

“Ugh, I need to get going,” Kiba said, looking down at his watch.

“Ah, alright. See ya soon, okay?”

Kiba pat Naruto on the back as he stood.

“This should cover it, right?” Kiba asked, handing Naruto a twenty dollar bill.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Sasuke, Shikamaru, it was nice to meet you. Hope to see you again some time!”

He didn’t bother to specify when, exactly. Shikamaru had to know that he was being deployed in a week, right?

“You too,” Shikamaru replied. “Nice meeting you, Kiba.”

“Likewise,” Sasuke added, shaking Kiba’s hand. He didn’t hesitate this time.

Kiba left into the throng, leaving the three of them behind.

“I’ll be heading out soon too,” Shikamaru added. “But until I finish my drink, I’ll keep you two losers some company.”

Sasuke nodded.

“This place was a pretty good find,” Naruto said. “You come here with your friends?”

“When I have to. You know how I am.”

“Yeah,” Naruto answered.

“I’m right here, you know,” Shikamaru cut in.

“You’re different,” Sasuke answered. “You’re an infection.”

“Aw, such a sweetie Sasuke is,” Naruto jested.

“Oh, yeah, he’s angelic,” Shikamaru said, his voice laden with sarcasm as he took another sip of his drink.

Sasuke looked around them.

“Looks like a lot of people came in. They have a wait now.”

Shikamaru took that as his cue, quickly finishing his drink.

“Here,” Shikamaru said, giving Sasuke a twenty dollar bill. “To cover my food. See you around.”

“Get your ass over to my house for a change. I’m busy too.”

“Yeah, I owe you. Naruto, it was nice meeting you,” Shikamaru said, extending his hand to Naruto. “I hope I see you again soon.”

Naruto smiled, though it felt somewhat forced. He wouldn’t be seeing Shikamaru again for quite some time.

“Same! I’m happy to have met you. You seem like a great friend to Sasuke.”

“More like a great pain in my ass,” Sasuke griped.

Shikamaru gave a soft smile, then shook Naruto’s hand firmly. This felt like an accomplishment to Naruto.

“Bye, guys,” Shikamaru said, leaving the two of them alone together.

“Sasuke,” Naruto asked slowly. “What are you going to do next?”

“No plans,” Sasuke answered simply.

“Me neither. Want to get out of this place together?”

“Let’s do it.”

The two of them left enough cash behind for meal, drink, and tip, catching the server’s eye first to ensure that he’d grab it.

“Goodnight!” the server called out as they left.

“Thanks, you too!” Naruto responded enthusiastically. Sasuke gave a wave, and before they knew it, they were out on the sidewalk.

“Well. Now what?” Naruto asked.

He knew that it would be his place or Sasuke’s. In all honesty, he preferred Sasuke’s. It was a much nicer home, with a fully stocked liquor cabinet and a beautiful bed, but more importantly, it was _Sasuke’s_ home. He’d been there but one night - the night the two of them first made love. Every minute spent there felt like a shared intimacy, Sasuke’s smell in each and every room.

Yet he didn’t want to impose.

“Want to go back to my place?”

Naruto couldn’t help but light up.

“Alright, follow me.”

Sasuke took them down through the subway station to the proper line. It appeared that their train was due in three minutes. They stood together silently, both facing the tracks. Naruto held Sasuke’s hand, leaning forward and kissing Sasuke’s lips. Sasuke turned his body to face Naruto’s, giving him another kiss.

“I wanted to kiss you from the minute I first saw you tonight,” Naruto said.

“Why didn’t you?”

Naruto paused.

“Your friend was there. I didn’t know if…”

“It’s okay for you to kiss me in front of my friends.”

Naruto smiled.

“Thanks for introducing me to your friend, Sasuke. I really appreciate it.”

Sasuke shrugged.

“We were going out for drinks anyway. All I did was invite you.”

“I like him. He reminds me a little of you, but he doesn’t have the fire you have.”

“Few people do,” Sasuke shrugged.

Naruto was about to call Sasuke arrogant but stopped himself. What Sasuke said was true.

Their train arrived, and despite the hour, there were only a few seats to choose from. Naruto was grateful when they found two seats next to each other. Hand in hand, they navigated through the crowd to arrive at their seats. Naruto sat by the window, Sasuke crammed up against him by those narrow seats.

Naruto felt the urge to kiss him, touch him, cuddle him, everything. But Sasuke just stared forward as if Naruto weren’t even there. Naruto felt foolish for his urges. Then, if that weren’t bad enough, he remembered this morning. He remembered the things they said, the noises they made, Sasuke, finally releasing…

Oh god. He was hard, though just slightly. Sasuke rested his forearm on Naruto’s lap, and Naruto quickly squirmed away. Judging from the sudden hitch in Sasuke’s movement, he was too late.

“We’ll be home soon,” Sasuke told him, resting his hand on Naruto’s thigh. “Don’t worry.”

He cherished this moment, despite it being slightly uncomfortable. He liked sitting so closely to Sasuke and knowing that they were both going to the same place. He memorized the scent of the subway train, the rhythm of Sasuke’s breathing, and the weight of his large palm.

These were the things that would get him through the storms ahead. Naruto was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed!
> 
> I know it's been a while since my last update before this. It's been a chaotic mess lately. I've been busy, and some really emotionally draining things have happened, but things are improving! Adjusting my meds was a huge help too. Gotta love depressive spells. I'm really grateful to my readers for being so understanding and supportive!
> 
> I'm going to be gone from August 11 to August 22 on a road trip to Seattle, Vancouver, and Portland. Really excited! But I wanted to leave you with a chapter to tide you over. I'll be posting again once I get back (our boys still have plenty of dates to go on in the week ahead of them). <3


	13. Scratching the Surface

After what seemed like forever, they exited the subway. Sasuke’s loft was a short walk away, and they traversed the distance with their shoulders just inches apart. Soon enough, Naruto was in that familiar elevator, his ears popping yet again as they were lifted to Sasuke’s floor. Together, they walked in, and Sasuke closed the door behind him.

Naruto and Sasuke stared each other in the face for a couple seconds, both of them slightly buzzed. Naruto was first to close the distance between them, resting both hands on Sasuke’s chest and kissing him. Sasuke responded to Naruto’s touch, his tongue caressing Naruto’s for a few seconds before parting.

Sasuke pushed Naruto’s back against the wall, and Naruto felt so warm, kissing Sasuke’s smooth, pale lips. He’d expected everything to be so rushed, once they finally got some privacy, but this pace was so sweetly slow.

“I like that top on you,” Sasuke said. “You wanted to show it off. I don’t blame you.”

He’d been that obvious? Naruto flushed.

“I’m the same way,” Sasuke said, reading him. “Whenever I get something new, I want to show it off. It’s part of the fun.”

“Hah, good,” Naruto answered, chuckling. “I thought I was kinda weird for it.”

“Isn’t that one of the reasons you get work done to begin with?”

“Yeah…” Naruto said. “I guess so.”

“Idiot.”

Naruto was beginning to love the way Sasuke said that word to him. He’d never seen that coming.

“You’re not half bad,” Sasuke added.

“Hm, you look okay, I guess,” Naruto answered with a grin, meanwhile resting his hand on Sasuke’s forearm. He felt the mild raises caused by the ink underneath Sasuke’s skin, just barely perceptible. Naruto kneaded the skin softly between his fingers and pecked Sasuke on the lips.

“It’s late…” Sasuke remarked, looking over at his clock. It was passed midnight.

“Ah, don’t remind me,” Naruto answered, sighing. “Doesn’t matter much though. I haven’t got shit to do until noon tomorrow.”

“Same.”

“Awesome, so no bedtimes here!” Naruto said with a cheek to cheek grin. “Let’s have some fun!”

He hadn’t meant that sexually… At least not necessarily.

“Easily arranged. Want some more drinks?” Sasuke asked.

“Ohhh, you want to party?” Naruto laughed.

Naruto already had a slight buzz, though nothing notable. They’d only had two rounds of drinks, though Naruto’s tolerance was not as high as one might believe, considering his stature. Naruto joined Sasuke as he walked to the liquor cabinet.

“Hardly,” Sasuke answered, walking over to his liquor cabinet. “Just a late night in. Take a seat.”

Sasuke gestured over to his sofa, and Naruto quickly obeyed.

“Got any OJ?” Naruto asked.

“Screwdriver?” Sasuke answered.

“Goddamn, psychic!” Naruto joked, laughing.

“It wasn’t a stretch,” Sasuke replied with a shrug.

True, it was just orange juice and vodka. But still.

“Make it strong,” Naruto said.

Sasuke got out the vodka and the orange juice, pouring him a glass. He meanwhile poured himself a small glass of gin. Simple. It was like Sasuke.

He joined Naruto on the couch, exhaling as he was seated and taking a sip of his drink. Meanwhile, Naruto took a hearty gulp of his screwdriver, enjoying the slight burn at the back of his throat. They were silent for several seconds, sitting next to each other but not touching as they sipped at their drinks. Naruto decided to lie against Sasuke, allowing his body to abruptly fall against Sasuke’s.

Sasuke pushed him back with his own body weight, though their bodies still leaned against each other’s.

“Jesus, you’re so heavy. You’re going to smother me.”

Naruto gasped in mock indignation.

“Are you calling me fat?!”

“No, I’m calling you a meathead.”

“Hey, don’t lump me in with them!” Naruto said, imagining gym rats straining over weights with a vocabulary all too frequently reduced to monosyllabic grunts. “I’m just battle ready.”

“Mn,” Sasuke answered, and if Naruto didn’t know any better, there was a hint of melancholy in his tone.

Naruto could say his body was battle ready. His mind? Not so much.

But he could always pretend. He wanted Sasuke to see his strength, to respect him for it.

“So!” Naruto interrupted, taking the reins into his own hands. “I have an idea.”

“I’m listening.”

“I wanna play a game.”

“A game?” Sasuke tilted his head.

“Yeah! Here’s the rules,” Naruto began, leaning closer into Sasuke and feeling his body heat. “I ask you a question about yourself, then you ask me a question, and we go back and forth. If you won’t answer the question, you have to remove a piece of clothing. First person naked loses!”

Sasuke paused, sucking on his lip piercing in his typical fashion.

“I’m skeptical of this game. Can we just skip to the part where we’re naked?”

Naruto laughed. He’d anticipated some resistance.

“Aw, come on,” Naruto nagged. “You’re the one always whinin’ about how I don’t know you well enough. Let’s get to know each other better!”

Sasuke paused, considering the proposition.

“Alright.”

“Yes!” Naruto cheered, bending his arm and making a fist. “Alright, rock, paper, scissors. Whoever wins goes first.”

“Fair enough.”

“One, two, three, shoot!”

Sasuke had put down paper, placing his hand over Naruto’s balled fist. He’d won.

“You’re far too predictable,” Sasuke said.

Naruto rolled his eyes at hearing yet another one of Sasuke’s snide witticisms.

“Huuh nuh muh nuh I know everything, you’re _sooo_ predictable…” Naruto mimicked.

His face was warm. Maybe he was drunk, and maybe he was showing it. Whatever.

“Did you even try?”

“Shut up,” Naruto diverted. “Ask me a question.”

“Okay…” Sasuke stopped to think. “What’s your most surprising fetish?”

Naruto choked on his screwdriver, pounding his chest.

“Not that kind of question!”

“You didn’t specify which kinds of questions we’re asking,” Sasuke said matter-of-factly. “Answer.”

Though Naruto supposed he should have anticipated as much, given that the rules he’d set for the game involved removing clothing.

“You have such a dirty mind! Umm…” Naruto thought. He wasn’t what he’d consider a particularly kinky person, but he did have his unique tastes. “Um, I like being cuffed and blindfolded.”

Naruto’s face had gone a shade of light red, and he fumbled with his shirt sleeve. It was awkward to say it so abruptly.

“Hm. Is that really your most outlandish fetish?” he asked, not appearing entirely convinced.

“Uh… Yeah, I think. Why?” Naruto asked, feeling as if he’d left Sasuke unimpressed. “Is that bad?”

“It’s a little vanilla, but I can work with it,” Sasuke smirked.

Vanilla? What did he mean by that?

“So, same question. What kinds of kinks do you have?”

Sasuke merely raised his brows, looking at Naruto.

“You sure you can handle the answer to that question?”

“I asked, didn’t I?” Naruto baited.

“Hmmm…” Sasuke was clearly thinking. And he thought for quite a while, it seemed. He looked comfortable, which told Naruto that Sasuke wasn’t just buying time.

“Fire and electricity play, D/s, leather, whips, spanking, everything bondage, sensory deprivation, ice, biting, hot wax…”

Sasuke paused again.

“That’s not everything, but hopefully enough to answer the question.”

Naruto took a deep swallow. Sasuke… He clearly had some experience. And electricity play? The general concept was easy enough to grasp, but how was that even done? Like hell would he ask Sasuke. He’d have to look that one up later. He felt himself growing a little hotter. Some of these things he’d never even considered.

“We don’t have to do that stuff, so don’t freak out,” Sasuke told him.

“No!” Naruto answered, vehemently shaking his head. “It’s not that. I’m just a little surprised.”

Sasuke furrowed his brow, and Naruto paused.

“But not surprised in a bad way!”

God, he was floundering. He took a breath.

“Ya know, I’ll try almost anything once,” Naruto said with a smile. “You don’t have to worry about scaring me off.”

“You don’t know what you’re signing up for. Before we do anything too intense, we should talk about it.”

“Please! I can take anything!” Naruto grinned, puffing out his chest.

“Have you ever tried sounding before?” Sasuke asked.

Asking Sasuke what that was would obliterate the point Naruto was trying to make.

“Um… No, but I’m sure I’d like it coming from you.”

A pause.

“Do you even know what sounding _is?_ ”

Oh god. His hands were sweating.

“Yeah, of course I know what sounding is,” Naruto laughed.

“Alright, it’s time for my question. What is sounding?”

Naruto almost choked.

“That doesn’t count. It’s supposed to be a question about me.”

That _had_ been one of the rules. Thank god.

“Answer regardless. If you know the answer, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Ah…” Naruto trailed off.

“Before we do anything intense, we talk. Got it, dumbass?”

Sasuke was being merciful, Naruto knew.

“Fine,” Naruto said, pouting. “But a lot of that stuff sounded really fun. You didn’t scare me at all, okay?”

“Okay,” Sasuke answered, appeased.

Naruto smiled back at him. He wondered if Sasuke had worried about this all along. Naruto was glad to have gotten it out in the open.

“Before I… You know, I think it’d be fun to try some of these things. Leave me wanting more,” Naruto said with a wink.

“Not a bad idea at all. My turn,” Sasuke began. “How many partners have you had?”

“What do you mean by a partner? Someone I’ve had sex with? Or like a boyfriend or a girlfriend?”

“Both.”

“That’s cheating!” Naruto answered, waving his arms about. “You have to pick one!”

“I’ll just ask the other question next round. You might as well answer both.”

Naruto grumbled.

“I’ve had two girlfriends and three boyfriends. I’ve had sex with four people. Same question for you.”

“I’ve had one girlfriend, if you’re talking a committed, monogamous relationship. No boyfriends. I’ve had sex with…”

Sasuke sighed, glancing at Naruto a little apprehensively before continuing. He took another long swallow of gin, finishing off the glass.

“Jesus, I am not drunk enough for this.”

“Refills!” Naruto agreed. “Can I have another screwdriver?”

“Sure.”

Sasuke was back with drinks within seconds. He’d poured himself yet another glass of gin, sipping on it again.

“Alright.”

Sasuke paused, taking a sip.

“I’ve had intercourse in the traditional sense with… It shouldn’t be over twenty, but I’m not sure. Considering just messing around in general, and stuff like oral sex… I really don’t know. A lot.”

It made Naruto feel a little inadequate. He wondered if anything he ever did with Sasuke held up to his many other partners. It couldn’t possibly.

“It was mostly scene stuff,” Sasuke added.

“Scene stuff?” Naruto asked.

“Yeah, the BDSM scene. I used to be really into it. And to relieve any doubts in your mind, I’m meticulous about safe sex.”

“Ah…” Naruto trailed off.

The silence that ensued left an air of stiffness in the room.

“Very little about me is cookie cutter, and that’s not just in the bedroom,” Sasuke said. “The more you know me, the more you’ll realize that.”

“But that’s one of the things I like about you so much,” Naruto answered, smiling. “I never know what to expect with you. You keep showing me new things. It makes me happy.”

Sasuke looked reassured.

“Why’d you go quiet then? It’s not like you.”

“Um…”

Would he be honest?

“You’ve had so many partners… I mean, I’ve only had sex with four people. Aren’t I…” Naruto hid his face. “I must not be very good compared to what you’re used to.”

Naruto caught a short-lived look of relief on Sasuke’s face.

“That’s not true,” Sasuke answered without hesitation. “I meant it when I said that you gave one of the best blow jobs I’ve had in my life. You didn’t realize it at the time, but that really says something.”

Naruto smiled meekly.

“But I don’t just give good blow jobs and suck at everything else, do I?”

Sasuke sighed.

“So insecure… Jesus, knock it off,” Sasuke answered, bumping his shoulder into Naruto’s.

“You just drive me crazy. You’re better at sex than any partner I’ve had.”

“Practice makes perfect, as they say.”

Sometimes it almost felt _too_ perfect. Like he could never keep up. But hell if it didn’t it make him feel amazing...

“Yeah…” Naruto said. “I guess so. You’re gonna make me into a sex god!”

Naruto beamed at Sasuke, feeling much more confident. Sasuke… He could be kind.

“So you’re admitting that I’m one myself?” he asked, smirking.

“Stop being such an arrogant douche, Sasuke.”

Sasuke chuckled under his breath. If Naruto hadn’t been pressed against him, their body heat melding together, he would’ve never been able to hear it.

“Anyhow, it’s your turn.”

“Alright. Jimi Hendrix or Jimmy Page?”

“Aggh!” Naruto shouted out theatrically, clutching his chest as if he were having a heart attack. “This is the most sadistic question you’ve asked yet.”

“And?”

Naruto threw his hands up in the air in mock torture.

“Dammit, I’m a guitarist! Led Zeppelin and Jimi are lifetime favorites. It’s like you’re asking me to choose between my children.”

“Every parent has a favorite,” Sasuke insisted.

“Fine, okay… I’d have to say Jimi Hendrix,” Naruto said, squirming in his seat. His discomfort wasn’t just show. “I’m so sorry, other Jimmy!”

“ _Other_ Jimmy?” Sasuke teased in a low and steady voice. “How harsh.”

“Fuck you!” Naruto said, jabbing Sasuke in the arm. He was really starting to feel the effects of the liquor, and he assumed that Sasuke was too.

“I’d choose Jimmy Page, but it’s a close call.”

“Alright, my turn!” Naruto chimed in. “Britney or Christina?”

“Seriously?”

“Yup.”

Sasuke sighed, “Christina. I guess.”

“Agreed. More vocal range.”

“What’s your favorite movie genre?”

Their questions were rapid fire.

“Action or comedy. You?”

“Horror, psychological thrillers, and action,” Sasuke said without thinking. “I’m picky about my comedies.”

“You like horror flicks?”

Naruto smiled nervously, scratching the back of his head.

“Ah… Yeah, I can watch them.”

Sasuke snickered.

“It’s okay. I’ll protect you.”

Naruto nuzzled closer into Sasuke, and Sasuke returned the favor. They slumped against each other now, Naruto’s hand making its way over to Sasuke’s and playing with his fingers.

“My turn… Do you like sweets?”

It was relevant. He needed to plan Sasuke’s presents.

“Not generally, though anyone who doesn’t like crème brûlée has something wrong with them.”

“Oh, I love crème brûlée!” Naruto said. “My favorite part is breaking the crust with a spoon.”

Sasuke nodded.

“The crust is a good indication of the chef’s skill. Do you have any nicknames?”

Their exchanges were beginning to feel natural and fluid.

“Oh yeah!” Naruto beamed. “Naru, Sly… One of my boyfriends called me Sunshine Boy, and that kinda stuck.”

“Sunshine Boy, huh…” Sasuke paused, looking down at the hem of his sleeve then smiling. “It fits.”

Naruto beamed.

“Where did Sly come from, anyway?”

It wasn’t technically Sasuke’s turn, but they’d already fallen out of the game’s rigid rules. It had achieved its purpose, getting them into this conversation.

“I was such a sneaky ‘lil brat, and everyone knew about how much I loved foxes. So Tsunade started callin’ me Sly, and it stuck.”

“Any reason why you like foxes so much?”

Naruto bit his lip, stopping to consider. Sasuke silently awaited his answer.

“My mom loved foxes,” Naruto started. Sasuke continued to look toward him, likely knowing that there was more to it than that. He gave Naruto his undivided attention.

“She used to tell me this story about a baby fox whose parents died. The kit was weak and had to fight to survive. With every challenge the fox went through, he grew another tail. He started with one, and through experience, he ultimately grew nine tails. He became the strongest fox alive.”

“I see. So that’s why your fox only has five tails now?”

“Yes…”

Naruto paused, carefully contemplating his next words. He was about to tell Sasuke something personal, and he didn’t like bringing depressing subject matter into conversations. Yet it was this sort of thing that would bring them together. On the bridge that stood between them, Naruto would take a step forward.

“My parents passed away when I was ten. I felt like I was that fox, just a little. It was scary. I’ve lived all over the country, and each family was...new. And not always good. A lot happened, but I learned and adapted. So I think I deserve those five tails, and maybe my mom is watching, waiting until I get my ninth.”

Sasuke was silent, though Naruto could’ve sworn he felt Sasuke’s body edge slightly closer to his.

“I’m sorry. That’s kind of stupid, huh?” Naruto said, forcing a laugh. “I don’t mean to be such a dow-”

Sasuke turned to Naruto, resting his palm against Naruto’s cheek and brushing his thumb over his bottom lip.

“Never apologize for something like this. I’m honored to be the one to bring something so meaningful to life.”

Naruto smiled, and he felt his eyes begin to water. He couldn’t let Sasuke see it… He leaned forward and kissed Sasuke, whose fingers reached out steadily, holding Naruto’s hand. Naruto felt so safe, cared for, and loved. Whether or not Sasuke would admit it, Naruto felt it flowing through his fingertips and saturating his breath. He felt it with every one of Sasuke’s heart beats.

Sasuke twisted his body to meet Naruto’s.

“I know it must hurt,” Sasuke said, looking into Naruto’s eyes. Normally, when he mentioned his parents’ death, people would become awkward, but Sasuke seemed unflappable. “You’re strong. While you’re away… Give ‘em hell.”

 _You’re strong_.

Coming from Sasuke, who seemed nothing short of a force of nature when it came to pursuing his goals, these words were priceless. He’d remember the tone of Sasuke’s voice when he said this, the confident and genuine look on his face.

“I’d never do anything but,” Naruto answered, resting his forehead against Sasuke’s and grinning.

Now Sasuke made the move to kiss him, their bodies facing each other as their sides leaned into the back of the couch. Yet they moved slowly now, as if they had all of the time in the world. Naruto slipped his hand up Sasuke’s shirt and rested his hand on his chest, moving it so that he could feel Sasuke’s pulse. Sasuke’s fingers wrapped around Naruto’s shoulder, his thumb softly petting Naruto’s upper arm as they kissed.

He kissed Naruto’s jawline, his neck… He gently kissed the area where Naruto’s ink began, careful not to injure the healing tissue. Naruto wrapped his arm around Sasuke, his hand gently tugging at Sasuke’s locks.

Sasuke reached up Naruto’s shirt, scaling his hands down Naruto’s chest, ghosting along the contours of Naruto’s muscles, down to his abs. He curled his thumb around Naruto’s belt loop, his hands stilling. Once they parted, Naruto rested his head on Sasuke’s shoulder. Nothing needed to be said, the two enjoying each other’s company.

Maybe it was the sober subject matter being discussed, but even as they touched each other, Naruto felt with his heart more than he felt with he did with his hormones. His initial attraction to Sasuke had been physical, but now… In this moment, it was intimacy that he felt rather than lust. Could Sasuke feel it too?

“How about yours?” Naruto asked after some time. “What do they mean to you?”

“Most of them have meanings,” Sasuke said. “Some of them are what they are.”

“What about that one on your chest? That script you have across your chest… Is it Latin?”

“Yeah. Nemini Cedimus. It means, ‘Yield to none.’”

Naruto smiled, “Man, that’s so fitting. Any reason why it stood out to you?”

“Ah, yeah…” Sasuke answered, looking a little uncomfortable. He felt Sasuke’s shoulder shift ever so slightly. “I have a hard time talking about these things.”

“I understand,” Naruto grinned, lifting his head and looking up at Sasuke. “No worries.”

Naruto had anticipated this. Sasuke’s walls were high, though part of it was his natural awkwardness when these matters were discussed. Whenever Sasuke did open up to Naruto, it seemed as though his psyche naturally issued a kickback. It was by no means a smooth process for him.

“Should I take a shoe off or something?” Sasuke asked, almost apologetically.

Naruto hid the smile threatening to emerge on his face. It wasn’t often that Sasuke sounded so earnest.

“How about your shirt?”

“Sure,” Sasuke acquiesced, quickly bringing his shirt over his head and casting it aside. Naruto tried not to stare but failed.

“I’m clearly going to lose this game,” Sasuke sighed. “Though I don’t mind being naked in front of you.”

Sasuke was living art. It still felt strange at times that this was the guy that was his lover. The desire to reach out and touch Sasuke was overwhelming.

“If I can ask another question, who designed your tattoos?”

“I designed the majority of them. Kakashi gave me some fodder for my sleeve, but I’d say even that was ninety percent me.”

“They’re so beautiful,” Naruto hummed. Completely drunk now, he reached over and trailed his finger down Sasuke’s shoulder, just over the border of the wings of the phoenix. “I could look at them forever. Everytime I look again, there are details I didn’t notice before. Ya know… The fire in the phoenix’s eyes,” Naruto said, brushing the area with his thumb. “Each filament in its feathers...”

Sasuke shrugged.

“I’m a fan of detail work. I did most of my tattoos myself.”

“Yeah? Which ones?”

“I did the script on my chest, and my sleeve myself, for the most part.”

Sasuke lifted his arm up, looking over his shoulder.

“Kakashi took over just for this tiny spot,” Sasuke said, pointing to a spot just behind his shoulder. “Pretty seemless.”

“Totally,” Naruto said, pressing his face up close to scrutinize it. He saw absolutely no disruption in the style. Sasuke looked entirely relaxed, completely comfortable.

“Deidara did my back, including most of the design.”

“Who’s Deidara?”

“Arguably the most renowned tattooist in the world,” Sasuke said. “He can be an ass, but his talent is almost unmatchable.”

Naruto felt jealous of this guy, as illogical as it was. He’d garnered so much of Sasuke’s respect, which was no easy task.

“Sounds like someone I know,” Naruto said, grinning.

“Ugh…” Sasuke sighed.

“By the way, who’s Kakashi?”

“Kakashi was my mentor, back in Brooklyn. He’s also the one who did the fan tattoo on my hand.”

Of all of them, Naruto had been particularly curious about that one, as unassuming as it happened to be. After all, it was Sasuke’s first tattoo.

“Yeah, what is that? I’ve never seen that symbol before.”

“It’s my mom’s family crest. Uchiha means ‘fan’ in Japanese.”

Naruto nodded, stopping for a second.

“Oh, you took your mother’s last name?” Naruto asked.

“Not originally. I changed my last name.”

“Is it because you don’t get along well with your dad?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke had mentioned before that he wasn’t on speaking terms with his father.

“That’s one way to put it.”

How bad did it have to be, if Sasuke had gone as far as to change his last name? As much as that idea made Naruto a little sick inside, knowing how difficult it must have been for Sasuke, he was happy that Sasuke was sharing this with him.

“It must’ve been bad.”

Sasuke just shrugged. Naruto wanted to ask more questions, but he didn’t want Sasuke to wall himself up again. He decided to change the subject before things got awkward.

“So like…” Naruto digressed. “Who did your piercings?”

“I did them all myself.”

Naruto thought back to when Sasuke pierced his ears. He’d really enjoyed it.

“If you could put any piercing on my body, what would you choose?”

“I think you’d look great with nipple piercings. I’d love to tug on them. Maybe put a chain between them.”

Naruto squirmed just a bit. Sasuke had suggested it during one of their first sessions. It sounded awfully painful, but he was sure he could take it.

“I’ve never considered doing something like that, but you make it sound so tempting. I really like yours. They’re one of my favorites on you.”

“One of?” Sasuke asked devilishly.

“My favorite…” Naruto felt himself blush a little. “It’s a...reverse PA, right?”

“I’m glad you like it so much.”

“I don’t like it _that_ much!” Naruto shouted in protest, a knee-jerk reaction.

“You’re not one who easily hides their feelings, Naruto,” Sasuke said, leaning in and kissing Naruto on the neck. Naruto felt Sasuke’s warm chest on his arm and smelled the liquor on his breath. Perhaps Sasuke was drunk as well.

“Does it… Does it feel as good for you as it does for me?”

What Naruto had thought before, about feeling with his heart rather than being led by his hormones… He was beginning to question it now.

“It’s a different type of stimulation. In concept, it’s similar to sounding.”

“Okay, so… What _is_ sounding, anyway?”

His ignorance had been obvious to Sasuke, so he’d lose nothing by asking.

“People put these long, metal rods called sounds into their urethra. The concept of a Prince Albert piercing is the same. They also call it cock-stuffing.”

Naruto shuddered. It sounded like medieval torture.

“And that actually feels _good?_ ”

“I like my piercing, but I wouldn’t say I’m into that. It can get extreme. They use all sorts of things, up to fingers and AA batteries.”

“Oh my god… People put fingers... _up_ their dicks?”

Naruto could’ve sworn his face was losing some color. Sometimes, Naruto had too vivid of an imagination for his own good.

“They do. Welcome to the world of BDSM.”

“Oh my god. You know, I could have gone my life without knowing that.”

“We all have our limits," Sasuke countered. "Thus why it’s important to communicate. If someone tried to get a finger up my dick, it’d probably be the last thing they did.”

Naruto nodded. It was tempting to see this as a competition.

“I’m not going to push you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

But if it meant satisfying Sasuke...

“I know you wouldn’t.”

“Naruto, I know what you’re thinking,” Sasuke said with a sigh. “Don’t feel compelled to do shit you’re uncomfortable with just because you think I’d like it.”

Naruto flashed Sasuke an impish grin.

“Because you know me so well now, right?”

The timing had been a little uncanny, actually.

“You’re an easy read,” Sasuke replied, clucking his tongue.

Naruto chuckled, snuggling deeper into Sasuke and resting his head on the crook of Sasuke’s neck.

“Thanks for introducing me to your friend tonight. I like him.”

“He likes you too.”

Naruto lit up.

“I thought so! I didn’t know for sure though. I’m really relieved!”

He felt like he’d come so much closer to Sasuke. Meeting Sasuke’s best friend felt like another giant leap.

“I think we got to know each other a lot more tonight, don’t you?”

“We’ve chiseled into the tip of the iceberg, I suppose.”

Naruto frowned. Hadn’t they done more than that?

“I don’t regret it,” Sasuke continued. “You don’t know me much, but I’ve told you things only a few people alive know.”

Sasuke was right, Naruto knew. There were so many secrets behind this man, but it was clear that he meant a lot to Sasuke. As reluctant as Sasuke was to commit, he knew that his feelings for him were largely reciprocated.

“Thank you,” Naruto said. “I feel honored, really.”

“You’re worthy.”

The way Sasuke said this sounded haughty, but Naruto knew that it was only honest. Sasuke was quite discerning about who he chose to keep in his life, and it truly was a privilege. Sasuke respected him.

“We’ll have to make up for time lost when I get back. We’ll try out some of those things you were talking about. I’m pretty adventurous, ya know?”

Sasuke smiled.

“I’ll look forward to that.”

“I really hope that…” Naruto began. He didn’t know if he should press this. “That you’ll decide to give me a try. We have something special.”

Sasuke furrowed his brows. He was silent as the seconds elapsed, and these seconds felt like minutes to Naruto.

“I know. I…” Sasuke started, and he was silent for another few seconds. “If it were anyone other than me, this would be promising. But… It _is_ me.”

Naruto recognized this as progress, even if not complete.

“What do you mean, Sasuke?” Naruto asked, reaching his arm around Sasuke’s neck and rubbing the opposite shoulder. “You say you’re not broken, but you always talk like you are.”

“Everything you’re saying sounds… I wish that it could come true.”

Maybe Sasuke was drunk. His body felt warm, though he appeared nothing but collected, his tone precise but becoming pressured.

“But Naru… I mean it when you say that you don’t know me. You might not even like the person I am.”

Why? Why did Sasuke say these things?

“Nothing about you could ever make me not like you, Sasuke.”

“I hope that’s true,” Sasuke answered, leaning back against the couch. “I wander. I’m fickle. I’m not dependable, either. I could go weeks, maybe even months without calling you, just because I don’t feel like it. I can be cruel. I’ll suddenly go cold and hurt you. Everything’s on my own terms.”

“You sound sort of like a cat,” Naruto mused.

“I guess. Cats can be very affectionate though.”

“Yeah, they like to cuddle. Kind of like how you’re doing right now.”

“I’m being serious, Naruto,” Sasuke said with a sigh, not sounding too perturbed.

“Fine,” Naruto answered.

“Even aside from me not being dependable, my sexual appetite is insatiable. I’m used to having dozens of people at my disposal. Then it can go dormant for months with no explanation. And beyond that, there are walls that will always keep us apart. I won’t tell you the things you deserve to know. ”

Nothing Sasuke said deterred Naruto, and he would make it obvious.

“Then it’ll be even more meaningful when I get to know the real you. I _really_ like you, okay?”

Naruto paused, waiting for his words to sink in. Sasuke was listening to him.

“I’m not giving up. It’s not like I could ever forget you, anyway. No matter what happens, I don’t want regret to be what I feel when I look at my back.”

“There are feelings worse than regret,” Sasuke mumbled.

“The only feeling I find worse than regret is guilt,” Naruto said. “With you, I don’t want either. I’m patient and have a determination unlike anything most have seen. You may not believe me, but I’ll prove it to you.”

“Undependable, selfish, distant, mean… You really know what to look for in a relationship.”

It felt strange to hear Sasuke speak ill of himself, though he appeared perfectly confident. He spoke as if they weren’t necessarily weaknesses - just simple facts.

“If you’re so selfish, why do you keep bending over backwards to protect me from you?”

“Because I like you,” Sasuke said, looking directly into Naruto’s eyes. Naruto was surprised at how little time Sasuke needed to answer. “There aren’t many people like you around, and I don’t want to ruin you.”

“You think you could ruin me?” Naruto asked, raising a brow skeptically and trying not to laugh. “You’re giving yourself _a lot_ of credit.”

“Whatever,” Sasuke said, taking another sip of gin. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“We’ve talked around this loop every time the future comes up,” Naruto murmured patiently, stroking his fingers through Sasuke’s hair. “But you told me so much more this time. Thank you, Sasu.”

“Sasu?” Sasuke said, looking down for a moment. “No one’s called me that before.”

“Great,” Naruto grinned. “Then I’m the first!”

They paused for a moment.

“I think we’ve said everything there is to say,” Sasuke said.

Naruto was thankful for everything that Sasuke said. Sasuke always alluded to these things so vaguely, and for the first time ever, Naruto felt as though Sasuke had given him a _real_ answer.

“Yeah, we have. For now, it’s just one foot in front of the other. There’s no way to predict the rest.”

Sasuke nodded, his posture relaxed. He didn’t carry the tension in him that he so often did when they discussed the future.

Naruto yawned. It seemed to have come out of nowhere.

“Tired?” Sasuke asked.

“Hm, kind of,” Naruto admitted.

Sasuke sat on the sofa cross-legged, and Naruto took the opportunity to rest his head in Sasuke’s lap.

“You make a nice pillow,” he mumbled, situating himself properly.

Soon, he felt the roughness of Sasuke’s calloused fingers over his cheek, softly petting him, raking through his hair. It felt like heaven.

“This morning, did you get back to sleep?” Naruto nearly purred.

“Yes, actually,” Sasuke answered, gently tousling Naruto’s hair. “You should be proud.”

Naruto rubbed his head into Sasuke’s thigh.

“You’re the one acting like a cat,” Sasuke said, scratching Naruto behind the ear with his pointer finger. Naruto laughed, swatting at Sasuke’s hand.

“Mmnnn, my legs are cramped,” Naruto whined, moving his legs.

“Want to go to bed?”

“Noooo,” Naruto groaned, latching onto Sasuke’s waist. “I don’t wanna let you go!”

“Come on, Naru. You can spend the night if you’d like.”

Spend the night? Sure, he’d done it once before, but the context had been _much_ different. Naruto hadn’t been counting on this.

“Seriously?” Naruto asked, hardly believing his luck.

“No. I just said that for shits and giggles.”

He couldn’t help the enormous grin that ate up his face. Sasuke sighed, forcing himself up with a strength that Naruto didn’t know he possessed. He extended his hand to Naruto to give Naruto some leverage.

“Bite the bullet. I have a spare toothbrush in the bathroom down the hall and toothpaste in the mirror cabinet. I’ll do the same.”

“Fiiine, fine,” Naruto acquiesced, making sure that the reluctance in his tone couldn’t be missed.

Naruto was familiar with this second restroom from the other time that he’d stayed at Sasuke’s apartment. He walked down the hallway and took out the toothbrush, dabbing on a generous mound of toothpaste before brushing his teeth.

The first time Naruto slept at Sasuke’s apartment, the sex they’d had was mind-blowing. But this had been so soft, yet sweet, like warming oneself in front of a campfire - slow but with a heat that warmed him to his core. Despite the fact that they’d done nothing more than kiss and caress each other, he felt that they’d grown much closer. Looking in the mirror, he felt like one of the luckiest people alive.

Naruto had finished cleaning up before Sasuke. He took the liberty of walking back into Sasuke’s bedroom. The bathroom was shut. Naruto took his shirt, shoes, and socks off, tucking them away discreetly. He rested on his back on Sasuke’s bed, one knee up with the other leg resting over it. Finally, Sasuke opened the door.

He was wearing only a snugly fitting pair of black briefs.

“Hm, that took a while. You got a beauty regimen?”

“Not particularly,” Sasuke answered.

“You tryin’ to tell me you look like this naturally? Bullshit.”

He tried not to stare when Sasuke turned around to switch off the bathroom light. The briefs were just tight enough to highlight the contours of Sasuke’s ass. He couldn’t help but remember the way it felt when he ghosted his fingers along its curves. At this point, Naruto told himself, he’d earned every right to ogle at Sasuke.

Sasuke climbed into bed. Naruto removed his pants, folding them and setting them aside, now only wearing his green boxers. They both lie on their sides, facing the other. Sasuke rested his head on his hand.

Naruto took in the room around them, the luxurious bed, the decor… Last time he’d been here, he’d noted the large fan by Sasuke’s bedside: his mother’s family crest. Sasuke’s hair smelled of sandalwood.

Naruto couldn’t help but wonder what the situation was with Sasuke’s parents. Sasuke was tied to his mother, to the point that he’d tattooed their crest on his hand and kept its likeness by his bed every night. Yet he despised his father to the point that he’d legally changed his name.

Sasuke’s eyes met Naruto’s.

“I can almost hear the gears turn in your head,” Sasuke observed.

They were comfortable, the plush blankets contouring to their bodies. Sasuke’s bedroom was silent; this is what being forty stories up afforded him.

“It’s nothing,” Naruto answered.

Sasuke’s neck looked so long and slim in this light. Through the illumination, he noticed the faint contrast of the scar on Sasuke’s shoulder, masked by the red, orange, yellow, and black ink of the phoenix’s wing. He squelched the urge to reach out and touch it.

Naruto had only known Sasuke for a short time. The hours that made up the time before Naruto would be sent to war were precious. He wanted to see Sasuke every day, become closer to him every day…

Sasuke could never match his pace, but he wasn’t standing still either. It was two steps forward and one step back with Sasuke. That was all he could ever hope for, and he wouldn’t change Sasuke for the world.

“Mn…” Sasuke mumbled, eyeing Naruto skeptically.

He was so glad to be here. Despite the partners Sasuke had had, he wondered how often Sasuke let people spend the night, how often he lay silently with them, bodies stilled.

“Hey, you have a hard time sleeping, right?”

Sasuke cast Naruto a look that clearly insulted his intelligence.

“Granny had a bad back. Sometimes I’d rub it for her, and she’d fall asleep. Wanna try?”

It was a strange way to have acquired such a skill, but he’d gotten pretty damned good at it. His past partners had been quite adamant about that.

Sasuke regarded him curiously.

“I don’t like getting pampered,” Sasuke answered. “But coming from you… Don’t get your hopes up about me falling asleep.”

_But coming from you._

Was Naruto becoming Sasuke’s exception?

“Mn, okay,” Naruto answered.

Sasuke rolled over, revealing his back to Naruto. It was beautiful, the slightest swish in Sasuke’s lower back connoting an almost feminine beauty. Naruto sat up, placing both hands just below the area where Sasuke’s neck and shoulders met. He applied the slightest pressure. Sasuke’s muscles were rock hard.

“You stretch before you work out, right?” Naruto asked, sounding a little concerned.

“Of course,” Sasuke answered. “My muscles are naturally tense.”

“That’s no good,” Naruto said, kneading at the flesh. Sasuke moved his shoulders down; Naruto felt Sasuke’s muscles relax under his fingertips.

“Do you get a lot of back pain?” Naruto asked.

“My shoulders and neck tense up when I work, but other than that it’s not bad.”

As Naruto worked out with both hands, he grabbed both of Sasuke’s shoulders. He felt the scar tissue against his left hand as he kneaded the skin. Naruto felt Sasuke’s left shoulder blade twitch, just slightly, the instant contact was made. Sasuke exhaled slowly as Naruto pulled at the sensitive flesh, Sasuke’s muscles relaxing in his hands.

“Sasuke, does this hurt?” Naruto asked, brushing the back of his hand against Sasuke’s scar.

“No,” Sasuke answered. “Just ignore it.”

Naruto didn’t know exactly how Sasuke meant that. Did he mean while he massaged him? Or in general?

He wouldn’t put Sasuke’s guard up by asking. If Sasuke didn’t mind talking about it, it would come up again.

“I can do that,” Naruto said sweetly, tugging on a tight band in Sasuke’s muscles. Naruto had no idea what it was called, but he knew exactly where the muscles would connect to other tissue and tug.

Sasuke stretched himself out on the bed, closing his eyes as Naruto wrestled with a particularly contentious knot.

“Sleepin’ yet?” Naruto asked.

“I wish,” Sasuke mumbled. “Feels nice...”

Naruto couldn’t help but analyze the phoenix that adorned Sasuke’s back. It wasn’t often that he stared so intently at this part of Sasuke’s body. The deep reds, oranges, and reds were brilliant against Sasuke’s pale skin, every detail perfection. The skill that went into it was undeniable; Deidara, whoever he was, truly was talented.

“I haven’t had as much time to appreciate your back,” Naruto remarked, trailing his fingertip from the top of Sasuke’s spine to the bottom. “I love this piece.”

“Hm. That’s Deidara for you,” Sasuke said.

That pang. It was unreasonable, but Naruto couldn’t squelch it.

“He must be really good, to have gotten your approval.”

“Like I said,” Sasuke answered. “Possibly the world’s best, and I’m not the first to think that.”

“I think you’re just as good,” Naruto said.

“I appreciate that.”

They were silent for a few more minutes as Naruto rubbed Sasuke’s back, then made his way up to Sasuke’s neck, Sasuke’s muscles relaxing underneath his fingers like putty. He rubbed just beneath Sasuke’s skull.

“Hm… I feel that up to the front of my skull.”

“It must be a bad spot then.”

Naruto continued with patience. His fingers and hands began to ache, just slightly, but he was strong. Sasuke’s body puddled beneath his. He lost track of the time, and he felt Sasuke’s breathing become deeper, longer. Each minute he had free reign to Sasuke’s body felt like a mere second, despite the cramps in his hand that told him otherwise.

And then, the slightest snore escaped him. Naruto’s heart dropped and his jaw fell slack, in complete privacy despite being by Sasuke’s side.

Those snores ushered in a realization that was more than welcome to Naruto: He was chipping his way toward Sasuke’s very core.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the time lapse! I spend 2 weeks traveling, another half week with family, and damn did work pick up.
> 
> I'm pretty well caught up at this point and am hoping to have more regular updates from here on out (or at least until my trip mid November).
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed watching our two boys get closer!


	14. Breaking Point

Naruto rustled in bed, cracking his eyes open just a bit. Sasuke had turned on a small light by the bedside. The clock read 4:53 am, and the room was just faintly illuminated by the foreshadowing of twilight.

Sasuke was sitting with his back propped against the headboard behind them, a book in his hands.

“Mn, Sasu…” Naruto groused. “How long’ve you been up?”

“A couple hours.”

Naruto frowned. Sasuke couldn’t have gotten more than three hours of sleep. He knew that Sasuke was an insomniac, but the extent of his insomnia was now hitting home.

He curiously looked up to glance at the mint green hard cover book Sasuke was reading.

“Die Verwandlung,” the font read in embossed golden text.

“Is that in German?” Naruto asked. He climbed up on the comforter, looking over Sasuke’s shoulder to view the text.

“Why bother asking if you’re just going to find out yourself?” Sasuke asked.

“That’s impressive,” Naruto mused.

“Just trying to keep it fresh,” Sasuke shrugged. “It’s Kafka’s Metamorphosis.”

Naruto nodded.

“Oh. I read that for school,” Naruto answered. “In English, of course.”

Sasuke’s eyes left the page.

“It loses something in translation,” he murmured.

“Yeah?” Naruto asked, tilting his head and genuinely curious. “How so?”

“In the English translations, translators refer to Gregor as an insect. But in Middle High German, ungeziefer means ‘unclean animal not suitable for sacrifice.’ Kafka put the focus on conveying the disgust others felt toward Gregor rather than the details of his form, so he kept it vague.”

Naruto listened to Sasuke intently. He remembered the basics of the book: a traveling salesperson being miraculously transformed into an insect. Or would “vermin” be a more fitting term?

“I’d imagine a lot of stuff is lost in translation, huh?”

“Yes. Another thing missed is the strategic ways he uses sentence structure. It’s unique to German.”

Naruto tried not to look as impressed as he was but failed.

“I read far better than I speak or write,” Sasuke added, reading Naruto’s thoughts.

Naruto craned his head around Sasuke’s shoulder, looking at the text.

The words were long, with multiple consonants meshed together and characters that Naruto recognized but couldn’t pronounce.

“These words look really difficult to pronounce.”

“They tend to be.”

Naruto was still tired. He leaned against Sasuke’s bicep, doing his best to cling to consciousness as he watched Sasuke peacefully read his book in the faint glow of the bedstand lamp. The normally subtle blue tones of his hair illuminated vibrantly at the light’s angle.

With a steady exhale, Sasuke turned the page. His dark eyes moved back and forth as he scanned the page. Naruto was torn between the urge to speak to him and the urge to silently watch him, elegant and halcyon.

He knew that after hardly a week, he wouldn’t be seeing Sasuke again in a long time. He wanted to accumulate as many memories of Sasuke as he could, to last him during his time away. He focused on the sight of Sasuke, the way his jawbone twitched, the deep irises of his eyes and the softness of his hair.

“Damn…” Naruto murmured.

“Mn?” Sasuke asked softly, not taking his eyes from his book.

Sasuke’s voice rustled him from his trance.

“Ah…” Naruto scrambled, quickly rerouting his thoughts, “I’m almost half German, and I can’t speak German. It’s kind of sad you’re better than me at it.”

Had that been convincing enough? Sasuke shrugged.

“My grandpa was German. He died when I was a toddler, but I remember that he’d talk to my father sometimes, and he understood him. But after he died, my father forgot most of the language.”

He noticed, looking closely at Sasuke, that his eyes had stopped moving.

“Why are you learning German?” Naruto asked.

“I have my reasons,” Sasuke answered insouciantly.

Naruto frowned. Was he hitting a wall with Sasuke again? Or was Sasuke toying with him? Naruto looked at Sasuke skeptically, not quite sure how to read him. Their stares caught each other, and Sasuke smirked at the fitful expression on Naruto’s face.

“There’s a convention out in Berlin every year. The people there are some of the best tattooists in the world, and many of them speak German. Some have been in the industry for longer than I’ve been alive.”

What an asshole Sasuke was, messing with him like that... Naruto patiently waited for Sasuke to continue.

“I went the last three years, so my German’s helped me out.”

“So you’d be the rookie there?” Naruto asked.

With Sasuke’s skill level, thinking of him as a “rookie” felt unfamiliar. Even aside from his obvious expertise with ink, something about Sasuke radiated competence, confidence, and prowess. Naruto couldn’t pin down why, exactly; the man’s aura was just drenched with it.

“You could say that,” Sasuke sighed. “But I’m quickly making a name for myself.”

Naruto gave a sleepy smile, resting his head on Sasuke’s shoulder and resting his arm on his bare stomach. Sasuke didn’t move.

“You’ll be famous one day,” Naruto yawned. “You have the passion and the talent.”

Naruto let his eyes close, breathing in and out deeply.

“Hm,” Sasuke answered, wrapping his arm around Naruto’s back. “Fame is overrated.”

Naruto felt so comfortable, so warm and safe, that he couldn’t help but drift off once more.

* * *

The next thing Naruto knew, he had awoken once more. He saw red as the the sunlight hit his closed eyelids. With a yawn, he groggily opened his eyes.

He was alone in the bed now, and the other half of the bed was cold. Naruto lethargically looked over to the clock on the beside table: 9:32.

Why had Sasuke let him sleep so late? He should’ve set an alarm. He valued every single minute he spent with Sasuke, knowing they were limited. Dammit, he’d have to leave in just a couple hours!

Naruto forced himself out of bed with an urgency he didn’t know he possessed. He put his pants on but didn’t bother with the shirt. He thought he looked better that way, and he wouldn’t pass up a chance to show the work on his back.

The first thing he noticed upon opening the door was the scent of eggs and sausage. Only now realizing how hungry he was, it guided him to the scent like a leash and collar leads a dog. And Sasuke was at the stove, dressed in a short, plush robe. His hair, somehow, was perfect.

“Mmm. God, that smells delicious,” Naruto groused.

Sasuke faced the skillet, a mug of coffee next to him as he worked.

“Do you always sleep this late?” Sasuke asked, flipping over a sausage. “Hope you like sunny side up.”

“My favorite!” Naruto grinned. “And screw you. Why didn’t you wake me up?! It looks like you’ve been up for a long time.

Sasuke shrugged.

“So lazy. I’ve been up since 5:30. I’m surprised my sprints didn’t wake you up.”

Naruto tried not to look discouraged that he’d missed an entire four hours at Sasuke’s house just sleeping. Sasuke was worth losing sleep over, especially given the circumstances.

“Ah, yeah. I’m a heavy sleeper,” Naruto said sheepishly. “Wait, sprints?”

“Mhm,” Sasuke said. “My morning routine. A pot of coffee, then sprints, then shower, then food.”

That’d explain why Sasuke was wearing a robe, after all. Naruto loved it on him, the rich maroon color complementing Sasuke’s creamy complexion. Sasuke scooped out the eggs and placed them on the white dish near him. Some fresh mozzarella, tomato slices, and basil leaves were sitting on the table.

“You got shit for sleep again then?”

Naruto felt foolish for hoping that his presence would have made any difference. Sasuke shrugged.

“Nothing new. Take your plate,” Sasuke said, gesturing to the plate he’d just filled.

“That’ll catch up to you some day,” Naruto mumbled sleepily, taking his meal and placing it on the table.

“Right, I’ll remember that next time I want to toss and turn for four hours instead of sleep at two AM.”

“Have you ever seen anyone about it?”

“Talked to my doctor about it once,” Sasuke shrugged. “It didn’t go anywhere.”

Naruto fought the urge to nag Sasuke about this. He’d tuck the knowledge away for later.

“Want anything to drink?” Naruto said, just as he was about to sit.

“I’m just having coffee. The cups are on the fourth cupboard over. Help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge.”

Finally, Sasuke served himself, taking his coffee mug with him. Naruto’s food remained untouched, and Naruto’s eagerness couldn’t be hidden.

“You didn’t have to wait for me.”

“But I wanted to! It’d be rude to start eating before you, especially since you made this for us.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Proof that you do have table manners somewhere down there.”

Naruto made a show out of sticking his tongue out at Sasuke, only for Sasuke to scoff at him. Naruto silently waited as Sasuke finished up cooking, finding silence a difficult state to sustain.

“Your robe looks fluffy,” said Naruto, feeling a little silly afterward.

“That’s because it is.”

The only sound in Sasuke’s apartment was that of their sizzling eggs. In just a couple minutes, Sasuke sat down at his table across from Naruto.

Naruto took a hearty spoonful of sausage and eggs. The eggs were fluffy with the slightest hint of black pepper, the sausage lean but flavorful.

“Damn good!” Naruto complimented, only now realizing how hungry he was.

“Eggs are easy,” Sasuke shrugged, going through his plate at a considerably slower pace.

It just now occurred to Naruto that this was Sasuke’s first time cooking for them. Despite the nature of their relationship, the moment felt oddly domestic. Well, a man can dream.

The next fifteen minutes were spent in silence as Naruto inhaled his plate, then helped himself to seconds.

“I’m surprised you haven’t exploded.”

“What did I tell you?” Naruto said, pointing at Sasuke with an egg-filled fork. “This is a Marine’s diet. I’m not leavin’ skinny.”

Sasuke shook his head with a look that was a hair’s breadth from a smirk. He wished that he could have many more cozy, soft moments with Sasuke like he was this Saturday morning. He tried not to think about the fact that this would be his last Saturday with Sasuke in months, maybe even years. He’d be leaving first thing Friday. His last Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were yet to come. It was a depressing notion, so he rerouted his thought process before it was evidenced on his face.

No, this wasn’t their _last_ Saturday together. It was only their last until he left and came back home.

“So uh…” Naruto started. “Tomorrow, I’m gonna go out to the range for some practice.”

“I see.”

“Wanna come?” Naruto asked. “I can teach you a thing or two about self-defense.”

Naruto grinned at Sasuke, cherishing the times he was in the teacher role, with Sasuke being the student. So often it seemed to be the reverse, with the exception of the guitar. He thanked his stars for that.

Sasuke sat in silence for a moment, his brows knit.

“What time?”

“When’s good for you?”

“We’d have to wrap up around noon. I have to be at the parlor by one, and afterward I’m sure all the ranges will be closed.”

It wasn’t much time, and it was during Naruto’s Sunday shift. But Naruto would never expect Sasuke to put his life on hold just because he was leaving. He wanted to see Sasuke as frequently as possible, even if these visits weren’t as long.

“How about eleven?” Naruto asked. He’d switch with Kiba and beg his forgiveness later.

“Will that give you enough time?”

It wouldn’t. He’d bring his own gun, but he still had to buy the bullets and get settled in his lane with his equipment. He’s have to bring Sasuke up to speed too. He was looking forward to that.

“Ah… It’d be tight,” Naruto remarked. “Ten?”

“Ten works fine for me.”

Naruto smiled. He couldn’t have helped that if he’d tried.

* * *

Naruto arrived at the range ten minutes early to set up. He’d instructed Sasuke to call him when he’d arrived. He’d made it soon after, wearing a simple black tank top and some skinny jeans.

At this time of day, the range was nearly empty. Naruto was thankful for this.

“I’m just finishing up these rounds,” Naruto said.

For the first time in ages, he felt nervous with his finger on the trigger. How could this layer of sweat, as faint as it might be, have accumulated within the last minute?

But he’d have to keep his cool under far more dire situations, Naruto knew. It felt strange to enter into his soldier’s mindset with Sasuke, who was at the heart of his civilian life, standing beside him. He inhaled, saw only the target in front of them, and exhaled as he pulled the trigger.

_Bang!_

His follow through adeptly absorbed the kickback.

Dead center. Not that he was surprised.

Now, Sasuke had disappeared. He remembered being out in a field, his drill sergeant watching him closely. Keeping his laser sharp focus, he fired twice, then flipped the switch to have the paper returned to them. Three of the four clustered within the innermost circle, with only one straying outward into the neighboring band.

“There we go,” Naruto said, nodding as he looked at his sheet. Only now would he allow himself to look over to Sasuke. Sasuke raised his brows for just a moment. He didn’t seem particularly shocked or impressed - more just observant.

“Now I can teach you a thing or two!” Naruto said, beaming at Sasuke.

“The first thing is to understand how to assemble your gun. This right here is a Glock 37, .45 caliber.”

Naruto first released the magazine and freed up a few of the bullets. He opened up the slide at the gun’s top.

“You have to look to make sure there’s no ammo left in the gun,” Naruto told Sasuke, using his pinky to sweep for ammunition in the chamber.

“Good. Now removing the slide… Ya gotta be careful, because these parts are spring-operated.”

Naruto closed the slide yet again, pulling it back and releasing the stop lever. Gingerly, he held the gun, nozzle pointing downwards with a modest slope. He pulled down the slide lock, now separating the slide completely from the gun.

He’d be thorough here. He took out the spring as well, along with the barrel.

“I use WD-40 to clean it. It works fine for me. There are fancier things out there, but this does the job. I already cleaned my gun this morning though.”

Sasuke nodded. Yet again, Sasuke was a silent pupil.

“Now, to put it together.”

“Stop,” Sasuke ordered flatly. “Let me.”

“Uhh…”

Naruto had no idea what Sasuke was talking about, but he stepped aside. He repeated every move Naruto had made in reverse action, first loading the spring, then the barrel. He closed the slide smoothly, though admittedly it was easier to put the gun back together again than it was to take it apart. Sasuke returned the bullets to the magazine, and there was a resolute click when Sasuke put the magazine back in the gun and flattened it with his palm. Sasuke didn’t hesitate for a second throughout the whole process.

Naruto stared at Sasuke with his mouth ajar, unable to hide the shock on his face.

“Don’t tell me…”

Oh god, was this yet another one of those things that Sasuke was secretly good at? Piano, German, math… The list kept growing.

“No,” Sasuke answered, reading his mind. “I’m an average shot. I just wanted to see the look on your face.”

“You asshole!” Naruto chided, bumping Sasuke’s arm with his fist.

Yet the fact that Sasuke had any familiarity _at all_ with guns surprised him. He’d been raised in Manhattan. Where would he even find the space?

“Where’d you learn how to do that?”

Sasuke pursed his lips, as if he had an acrid taste in his mouth.

“My father was paranoid. He kept a bunch of guns and insisted that my brother and I know how to use them.”

“Ah…” Naruto answered. “How much did he teach you?”

“The basics. How to assemble the gun, disassemble it, clean it, and of course, how to shoot.”

Naruto still couldn’t hide his surprise.

“If he could’ve, he would’ve kept teaching us until we were damn near perfect. But it came down to bullets or food and rent. Thankfully, he wasn’t _that_ stupid.”

Naruto always thought he felt his wallet give the slightest frightened shiver when Naruto restocked his shells. They were an oft overlooked expense. Of course, there was no limit to the time Sasuke’s father could have spent teaching him about the pieces of a gun and how to take it apart.

“Did you live in a dangerous area?” Naruto asked.

“Depends what you consider dangerous,” Sasuke shrugged. “It was rough, but there are rougher areas in the city.”

Sasuke sighed.

“Whatever the case, it was overkill. Too many guns and not enough food.”

“Ah… Do you not like shooting?” Naruto asked, feeling a bit guilty.

Sasuke shook his head.

“I like shooting alright. The knowledge is there. I might as well keep it fresh.”

Relieved, Naruto nodded, getting a new piece of paper, clipping it in place, and sending it halfway back.

“Here. Is this a good distance?”

“Yeah, good enough for warm-up,” Sasuke replied.

Sasuke put on his glasses before taking the gun into his right hand, his left hand cupping around his right to support the weight of the gun. He put his feet shoulder’s width apart and bent his knees just slightly. His right arm, almost completely straight, was gearing toward the target.

Naruto watched Sasuke as he settled into position, his sharp eyes peering down the barrel. Naruto couldn’t count how many times he’d seen his peers enter into this position, but with Sasuke…

He looked strong, precise, and lethally alluring, his posture perfect and powerful. Sasuke’s biceps twitched just slightly as he steadied the gun, breathing in slowly and holding his breath. His eyes narrowed, and Sasuke pulled the trigger.

_Bang._

Sasuke absorbed the shock with his arms, his bicep muscles flexing minutely but his posture becoming somewhat stiff. He was too tense. Naruto could see from where he stood that Sasuke’s shot had hit the first concentric circle around the target. Not bad, Naruto thought. He was a better shot than some of the people in his battalion.

Sasuke had three more shots left; they hadn’t loaded the gun to capacity. He continued, not bothering to look over at Naruto. His next bullet neatly pierced the innermost target, followed by another that entered at nearly the same place. His last bullet, however, fell three circles outward.

“Shit…” Naruto saw Sasuke mouth.

Sasuke pressed the safety and released the magazine then pulled the slide back as he tilted the gun to the side. Naruto took his muffs off as he handed Sasuke the shells, with him completely filling the magazine with ten bullets. He pushed the slide catch, placing the gun down.

“Damn, that was great!” Naruto said.

Sasuke’s second and third shots were even better than his first. He’d needed some time to warm up; Naruto wondered just how quickly Sasuke would pick this up if he were to consistently practice. Naruto had contemplated bringing his Beretta for Sasuke, but Sasuke was handling the .45 caliber’s extra power just fine.

“Don’t patronize me,” Sasuke murmured. “I know I’m rusty.”

“Sasuke, such a perfectionist…” Naruto said in a sing-song tone of voice, wrapping his strong arms around Sasuke’s waist and swinging him from left to right.

Sasuke merely growled; perhaps Naruto’s cue to let him go.

“Relax your shoulders. You’re fighting the kickback too much. Move with it a little on the follow through.”

Naruto put his glasses back on, but didn’t bother to return his ear muffs. He carefully took the gun into his hands and turned off the safety.

“Like this, see?” Naruto said, firing yet another bullet straight into its target. At this distance, it wasn’t much of a challenge for him. “Watch where the gun goes, and look at my shoulders.”

Sasuke nodded.

“Try again.”

Sasuke fired two shots, his form on the follow through now almost perfectly fluid. Both shots hit their target. Sasuke pressed the lever by the side of them down, sending the sheet about three quarters of the way back to the end of the range. He sent off three rounds: one hitting the target, and two hitting the adjacent circle.

“Sasuke, that actually is pretty good. You’re a better shot than most of the people in my battalion.”

And Naruto meant it. Sasuke just shrugged.

“Perhaps being taught at a young age is an advantage.”

“Maybe,” Naruto said. “How old were you when you learned?”

Naruto had been tempted to phrase it as “when he taught you,” but he’d quickly readjusted.

“I learned how to clean a gun and assemble and disassemble it when I was maybe...six? I didn’t shoot my first time until I was eight.”

“Damn!” Naruto said, interested. “You started off so early!”

“Yeah… My mom hated the idea, but my father was stubborn.”

Naruto wouldn’t push this, as much as his curiosity ate away at him.

“She seems like a sweet mom, if not kind of protective.”

“Yeah…” Sasuke said, looking off at the target as if suddenly finding it worth analysis. “She was.”

Naruto’s breath went still, and he couldn’t help but glance at Sasuke. It felt as though a cold hand had entered through his ribcage and clutched his chest. Sasuke’s eyes resisted his own.

The tattoo on Sasuke’s hand, the fan hanging next to his bedside… It made sense now. Sasuke’s mother had died.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, resting his hand on Sasuke’s.

Sasuke’s hand flinched away.

“That’s life. You know that as well as I do.”

Naruto wasn’t sure whether Sasuke was pulling away from him or only from sympathy.

“If you don’t mind me asking… When?”

“Forever ago. I was twelve at the time. Old news.”

Naruto nodded. He remembered when he had lost his parents, fifteen years ago. Old news? Bullshit.

His dreams of his parents grew rarer, but they never left him and probably never would. In some dreams, he smelled the aroma of their old garden’s wildflowers in his mother’s fiery red hair, and his dad would wrap his arms around her. Other dreams would wake him up in a cold sweat. It was a healing wound, even after all this time, and as any wound must, it pained him.

He remembered them with fondness, but always there was a bitter longing. Naruto would never forget, and clearly, neither would Sasuke.

“It’s never old news,” Naruto said, with Sasuke still peering outward. “Not to you. I know that way too well.”

Naruto’s last words caused Sasuke to look back towards him, his gaze uncertain.

“There’s nothing that can be done now,” Sasuke said. “I’ll keep the memories, but there’s no point in brooding. I’m stronger than that.”

Naruto flustered a moment, trying not to take that statement personally.

“I try not to brood,” Naruto said, adding a sad chuckle at the end. “Sometimes I can’t help myself.”

The look of regret on Sasuke’s face couldn’t have been missed. He lost a moment to speechlessness.

“You’re different.”

Naruto tilted his head.

“Why is it okay for me to get sad over it, but not for you?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“There’s no point. There’s no resurrecting them.”

“How do you know there’s no point?” Naruto asked, monitoring the tone of his voice so that this didn’t sound like an attack.

“I just explained that.”

“Sometimes it can help people deal with it,” Naruto replied.

“I get that. But I dealt with it years ago.”

And perhaps he had. Sasuke always seemed to have this otherworldly sense of strength and resilience about him. Maybe at Sasuke’s core, he was stronger than Naruto ever could be. It had clearly been a dire blow to Sasuke, given that he’d etched her family crest onto his hand at such an early age.

Nemini Cedimus, huh? “Yield to none.” No one and nothing, not even pain. Was this how Sasuke lived?

Yet the tone of his voice felt hollow. If each step toward Naruto on this bridge felt as dangerous as the shooting of a gun to Sasuke, would this be the recoil?

“Hey Sasuke…”

“Hm?” Sasuke inquired, tilting his head.

“Thanks for telling me that just now,” Naruto said with a soft smile.

“I should’ve told you when you told me about your folks,” Sasuke replied simply. “Quid pro quo.”

Sasuke broke eye contact with Naruto.

“Anyhow…”

Sasuke reached for the gun yet again, taking a few extra seconds to focus. He stared down the trace of the sights, his finger squeezing the trigger. Seconds passed as he stared toward the target. Naruto was surprised when instead of firing the gun, Sasuke put it down.

“We don’t have much time left. You should be the one practicing.”

Naruto nodded, receiving the gun as Sasuke carefully and gracefully handed it to him. It was clear that Sasuke respected the power of the weapon in his hands.

He grinned at Sasuke, packing his full power into the expression.

“If you insist on me showing you up again, I won’t pass down the opportunity.”

He swung the paper back to the back of the range, shooting once, twice, thrice… As always, everything in his periphery faded into the background. He hit the target each time. Finished, he glanced over at Sasuke, only to find that he was looking at Naruto rather than at the target.

“Ya know, the impressive part is me hitting the target, not me sittin’ here aiming.”

“I have to use the restroom,” Sasuke curtly replied. “I’ll be back in a few.”

Without waiting for Naruto’s response, Sasuke pivoted and walked away, leaving Naruto to stare toward Sasuke in confusion.

What would he do now? Would he continue shooting? Sasuke was an abrupt person by nature. Yet even if something was bothering Sasuke, he might want his privacy.

Naruto shot two more rounds, one of which was his worst shot since he’d entered the range this morning. With a sigh, he placed his gun down and left for the restroom. When he opened the door to find it empty, his gut wrenched.

He glanced at his watch, which read a mere ten minutes until noon. Sasuke would have to leave soon...and Naruto didn’t want his departure to be on these terms.

As quickly as Naruto could, he put his remaining bullets together and unloaded his gun, tucking it away discreetly. He said a quick goodbye to the gentleman at the counter and exited the building. Sasuke was casually leaning against the wall, a cigarette between his fingers.

Naruto was torn between chiding him for smoking and comforting him. Yet all that came out of his mouth was an awkward, “Hey…”

“Hey,” Sasuke answered, sounding a bit listless. Had Naruto known Sasuke any less, it wouldn’t have sounded strange.

“Hey, um… I’m sorry if I…”

Sasuke shrugged.

“Don’t be. I just needed some fresh air.”

Said Sasuke as he inhaled nicotine into his lungs. Ironic. Naruto paused as he looked at Sasuke, knowing damned well that he was leaving Naruto in the dark.

He tried to hide the frustration on his face but failed. He wanted to help Sasuke, to reassure him, but how could he do that when Sasuke wouldn’t confide in him?

“None of your business,” Sasuke said blankly upon noting Naruto’s expression.

Naruto felt a chill in his chest, a feeling of loneliness. It took only a few seconds for that hurt to translate into a clenched jaw and a raised voice.

“How am I supposed to understand you if you won’t tell me what’s wrong?” Naruto asked. “I’m your…”

He was Sasuke’s lover, wasn’t he? Or was this just a word that Sasuke had let Naruto call him? He bit his tongue.

“I’m not expecting you to tell me what you’re thinking, but what’s with that attitude? Don’t act like it’s none of my concern.”

“Funny…” Sasuke said, tilting his head. “I could’ve sworn I told you to expect this.”

And he had. Time and time again. Naruto had sworn he’d be patient. But his mouth moved without his permission.

“Fine, toss me aside then. See if I care.”

Of course, Naruto’s words held no weight. He should know how Sasuke felt; Sasuke had told him, in no uncertain terms. But he was angry, and the words bubbled to the surface regardless.

“If you’re too sensitive to handle something as basic as this, then you don’t stand a chance in hell.”

Sasuke’s tone pissed him off. It was so level, so unfeeling, as if Sasuke didn’t even care. It was as though Sasuke always had one foot out of the door.

_Stop talking._

Naruto heard his mind’s more rational advice almost as if someone had spoken it to him.

“You’re always so pessimistic. I know you’re not as into this as I am, but do you have to make it so fucking obvious?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Naruto.”

It wasn’t about Sasuke’s earlier remarks now. It was his disregard for whatever they had, his willingness to just set it aside should the smallest sign of friction surface. How could his bones feel so hollow?

He knew he should stop, that he was only proving Sasuke’s point that he would soon lose patience with the distance Sasuke placed between them. But he continued.

“Jesus… You know I’m leaving in less than six days, right? You might never see me again. Do you even care?”

Sasuke’s arm slumped by his side, a look of shock on his face.

“Of _course_ I know that,” Sasuke answered, and only now did Naruto hear an undercurrent of anger in Sasuke’s tone. “None of this should be a surprise to you. Now that you’re seeing reality, that idealistic resolve you had will crumble.”

Naruto grit his teeth, anger and pain swirling in his gut so intensely that he was rendered speechless.

“I won’t hold any grudges,” Sasuke added. “I expected this all along.”

He couldn’t hide the look of rage on his face.

“Bullshit! You’re a coward!” Naruto yelled back at him. “Just too afraid to get hurt.”

Sasuke glanced down at his watch, appearing perfectly unaffected, as if Naruto’s words were only a nuisance. As if Naruto were the person behind him in line who spoke just a bit too loudly, and nothing more.

“Well, it’s noon,” Sasuke said. “See ya.”

And with that, Sasuke was gone.

* * *

Naruto spent his shift in chaos. The more he thought back, the more he realized one unfortunate truth: he had _really_ fucked up.

He did want to be patient, but his limited time was dwindling so fast. Naruto didn’t know how many more days would be wasted as he tried to make up with Sasuke. The fight hadn’t been drastic, but what if they couldn’t make up by the time he left? He didn’t even have a full six days.

Yet another angry customer yelled at him. He’d been getting orders wrong left and right, going through the motions as his mind wandered elsewhere. It was an apt background to his thoughts. He hated himself for what he’d said, hated himself for feeding into Sasuke’s pessimistic views.

What of the patience he’d promised Sasuke? What of the resolve?

And more practically, he found himself wondering what had upset Sasuke so much to begin with. Why had he left so suddenly?

Unable to wait until the end of his shift, he went for the phone and texted Sasuke a simple, “I’m sorry.”

Naruto kept his phone in his front pocket, painfully eager for its next vibration. He felt bitter disappointment at finding messages from only his friends. As the hours passed, his spirits drooped with the realization that Sasuke might not respond at all.

He waited until Sasuke’s shift was over. If he was going to right this, he’d do it immediately. Hopefully Sasuke had had enough time to cool off. Or was he perfectly logical, even at that time? No… Naruto had heard the anger in his voice.

Sasuke was closing up the shop when he arrived. It seemed as if the others had already left. Naruto ran up to him.

“Sasuke…” Naruto panted, leaning against the closed door and looking at Sasuke.

“What?” Sasuke answered simply.

He wished there had been anger in his tone, or at least some breed of emotion. His voice was cold and blank, as if they hardly knew each other.

“Did you see my text?” Naruto asked.

“Yes.”

More silence passed.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Sasuke said. “You tried your best.”

_You tried your best._

As if it were over and done with.

“Listen to me, Sasuke…” Naruto said, grabbing Sasuke’s shirt to pull him close.

“Don’t touch me!” Sasuke snapped, striking Naruto’s hands away.

So, Sasuke _was_ angry.

“Dammit, I’m _not_ falling for this act!” Naruto said. He felt tears form behind his eyes, and his eyes misted before he could stop them.

“Jesus Christ. Don’t tell me you’re going to cry,” Sasuke said as if he’d just found mold in his refrigerator, a sight entirely repugnant.

Sasuke had been right. He could be damned mean.

It felt like a knife twisting inside of his gut, sharp and unrelenting.

“Sasuke, no matter how hard you try to push me away…” Naruto said. “Like _hell_ am I ever giving up on you. I will always be here, waiting, until I stop breathing.”

Tears streamed down Naruto’s cheeks. He didn’t give a shit. He didn’t want to face the regret of holding back, of any words left unsaid.

“I fucked up today,” Naruto said. “I did just what you said I would. I got impatient. I said shit I never should have, because I was angry. Because I know how little time we had together, and it felt like…”

Naruto swallowed.

“It felt like you didn’t even care, and that’s ripping me apart!”

Sasuke’s eyes focused on Naruto’s face as he watched silently, his mouth slightly ajar.

“Would you give a damn if I never came back, Sasuke?” Naruto asked, his voice quaking. “Can you seriously say that you don’t care if I die, with a straight face?”

And Naruto was crying, but Sasuke continued to watch him with that same expression of shock.

“Please, just say something,” Naruto begged.

“Naruto…” Sasuke said, his brows knitting. “Fuck…”

“I brought this on myself. I fucked up,” Naruto sniffed. “I’m so-”

“I’m sorry.”

Sasuke took the words from Naruto before he could speak them. Naruto looked up at Sasuke, his eyes filled with both surprise and tears.

“For Christ’s sake, you’re getting sent off to fight in a week. Of course you’d be more emotional than usual,” Sasuke sighed.

And he was. He was emotional, and as loathe has he was to admit it, he was sensitive and needy of reassurance. He’d tried to hide these parts of himself from Sasuke. He had clearly failed.

“I was… I have issues with guns, okay?” Sasuke continued. “I didn’t mention it because I thought I was over it.”

Naruto wiped the tears from his eyes, trying to silence himself.

“And seeing you shoot, just… It doesn’t feel like it when we hang out, but you’re a soldier, and you’re leaving,” Sasuke said while shaking his head, his tone sad but composed. “You’re really leaving.”

As much as he felt Sasuke’s pain, it soothed him to know his thoughts. He knew all along that Sasuke was putting up a front with his distant demeanor, but his act had been brutally convincing. The fact that this hurt Sasuke so badly meant that he cared.

“Yeah, I’m a soldier, and I’m really leaving,” Naruto said, but there was a smile on his face now. “So let’s enjoy the time that’s left.”

Sasuke nodded, regarding Naruto with respect.

“What the hell did I do to deserve you, anyway?”

“Give yourself a little more credit, snookums,” Naruto answered.

Sasuke clucked his tongue at Naruto, waiting a moment before continuing.

“I know I went too far. I felt cornered, the shooting put me on edge, and a part of me wanted to test you. That part of me was so confident that you’d fail, just like the rest. _I’m_ the one who failed _you_ , at the worst time.”

Did Sasuke’s psyche counter him with every step? Before Sasuke walked out of the range, they’d been talking about such personal matters. Sasuke was trying. They both were.

“Can I?” Naruto asked, holding his hand out to touch Sasuke’s shoulder.

Sasuke moved forward, wrapping both of his arms around Naruto and holding him tightly into his smaller frame.

“Of course you can.”

And everything came to the surface, all of the hurt, all of the fear, everything that had been plaguing him leading up until his final day on American soil. He cried into Sasuke, feeling Sasuke’s large hands gently rake through his hair. Neither of them cared who happened to oversee. Sasuke held Naruto until every last one of his tears dried.


	15. Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Naruto’s eyes were puffy and red as he sat at Sasuke’s kitchen table. The apartment was silent, save for the light hiss of the tea kettle and Sasuke’s graceful movements, the sound of porcelain cups being set next to each other gently punctuating the room. As he heard the trickling sound of Sasuke pouring steaming hot water into each cup, Naruto closed his eyes and inhaled through his nose, willing composure.

Sasuke still hadn’t changed out of his work outfit, with the exception of his shoes. Sasuke donned tight blue jeans and a maroon T-shirt with a ripped collar, both of them in their bare feet. Sasuke carried the two cups of nearly boiling hot water from the stove, waiting for it to cool before he added one bag of jasmine tea to each. They spent the time it took for the tea to steep in peaceful silence. Naruto sipped at it, feeling it warm him to his core.

“How are you feeling?” Sasuke asked, sitting next to him as he took a long sip of tea himself.

Sasuke was still dressed, the time nearing midnight.

“Ah… better…” Naruto said with a smile.

“Good.”

Naruto kept one hand under the table, fiddling with the bottom hem of his shirt.

“Just… A lot of stuff is going through my mind, you know?” Naruto said. “Everything I know is on the brink of change. I’ve been so frazzled over the past week. I guess...something had to give.”

It had been embarrassing for Naruto, to show Sasuke such a thing. Sasuke nodded, crossing his arms and also casting his gaze toward the table.

“I couldn’t imagine,” Sasuke confessed.

“Thanks for staying with me back then,” Naruto said. “I needed you, and you were there. And thanks for bringing me back here.”

Sasuke’s eyes cast downward, and the corners of his lips sunk deeply.

“I didn’t do anything worthy of thanks. I basically flung my baggage around and hit you with it when you needed me most.”

Naruto shrugged.

“Don’t think my...reaction was all about what you said. It’s everything over the last week, really.”

If only one good thing could have come out of his breakdown, at least Sasuke better understood what was going through his mind.

Despite Naruto’s reassurance, Naruto still saw the guilt on Sasuke’s face, his lips pursed.

“In fairness, I knew you were uncomfortable, but I pressured you regardless. I wasn’t considering your feelings.”

Sasuke shook his head. Sasuke must have clenched his jaw, as Naruto noticed the slightest line of definition showing by Sasuke’s jawbone.

“How do you even exist?” Sasuke asked, his gaze lifting from the table and meeting Naruto’s eyes. “With that outlook, you should’ve become bitter long ago. You’re too understanding.”

“Well…” Naruto paused. “You choose how you respond to things, ya know?”

Sasuke frowned, making eye contact with Naruto and holding it. Sasuke lost a moment in thought, his mouth open for just a couple of seconds before he spoke.

“Yes, but there’s a line between being making shit experiences constructive and being delusionally forgiving. I don’t understand your decisions. They’re naive.”

Naruto chuckled. He’d heard this all from Sasuke before.

Maybe they’d never see eye to eye on this. Maybe they didn’t need to.

“Not many do. But hey, I’m still here, so I must be doing something right.”

Naruto took care to grin at full force, despite his red and puffy eyes. Naruto heard frustration in Sasuke’s sigh.

“You made yourself vulnerable, and my response… Not so surprisingly, it was fucked up. It was exactly as I warned you. Why do you still stick around?”

_Jesus Christ. Don’t tell me you’re going to cry._

Naruto couldn’t deny that it was cruel. Despite the fact that Sasuke had apologized, it still stung, relentlessly. He couldn’t shake the image of that repulsed expression on Sasuke’s face in that humiliating moment when he felt his walls begin to crumble. In that single moment, Naruto felt disgust for himself as well.

It had planted a seed of self-doubt in the back of his mind… Could it be that, despite all of Sasuke’s reassurances, he viewed Naruto as weak?

Yet Sasuke had called him strong, and Sasuke seemed like the last person who would speak insincere words just to salve a wound.

As Sasuke frowned, his eyes searched for Naruto’s, unwavering.

“I’m an asshole, and I don’t mean that in a playfully self-deprecating way. I genuinely am not a good person.”

“I just can’t believe that,” Naruto answered, finally looking into Sasuke’s eyes. “You’re a good person. You’re honest, and you care, more than you want to believe.”

“I care selectively,” Sasuke contended. “I care about a very small number of people, and even then only whenever it’s convenient for me. Everyone else can go fuck themselves, for all I’m concerned.”

“So is this convenient for you?” Naruto said with a deadpan tone of voice. “Taking me back to your place and making me tea at midnight?”

“Consistency’s the issue,” Sasuke countered, losing no time to hesitation. “I usually don’t give a shit about any of this, but you’re someone I don’t want to hurt. And I _will_ hurt you.”

Naruto put his tea down, kneading his brow and groaning.

“Ugh, Sasuke, you’re giving me a headache! First you say you’re a bad person. You admit that you’ll do nice things, but only out of convenience, even when it’s clearly _not_ convenient for you. Despite all that, you’re supposedly still a bad person because you’re inconsistent. Yet you also really don’t want to hurt me and continuously put me above your own self-interest. Jeeesus Christ, Sasuke.”

“Done yet?” Sasuke asked, his tone packing a hint of good-natured teasing. Naruto merely pouted.

“I never said I was a _bad_ person,” Sasuke said patiently. “Just not a good one.”

“Whatever. It’s still inconsistent, and I don’t get it.”

Sasuke’s expression was blank and emotionless, purely indifferent. It spoke for him: _And I don’t give a shit that you don’t understand it._

Sasuke paused and glanced at Naruto. Their eyes locked, and creases formed between Sasuke’s brows. As Naruto’s eyes explored the depths of Sasuke’s, it was as though a match had ignited behind Sasuke’s normally opaque irises.

“I understand why you’re confused, but you’ll have to trust me. No one knows me better than I know myself.”

“Well, I understand why _you’re_ confused,” Naruto said, dramatically pointing at himself and then at Sasuke. “But _you’ll_ have to trust _me_.”

As Naruto stuck his tongue out as Sasuke, Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Have you had a lot of relationships? Not playing around, but serious relationships?”

“I had a girlfriend when I was twelve,” Sasuke said.

“When you were _twelve_?” Naruto asked. “It’s been well over a decade, and you were a kid!”

“What’s your point?” Sasuke replied, sounding more inquisitive than frustrated.

Sasuke’s first attempt could hardly be considered an attempt, Naruto decided.

“My point is how do you know if you don’t try?”

“I don’t need to fuck up a romantic relationship to know that I’m bad with these things. I can’t even maintain a decent _friendship_ , with the exception of Shikamaru.”

“What about the guys at the parlor? Aren’t they your friends?” Naruto asked.

After all, Sasuke felt more than comfortable bantering with them, and they’d even socialize outside of work.

“We’re not all that close when it comes down to it,” Sasuke mumbled. “Shikamaru was there when I was a kid, back when I was… Innocent, I guess.”

Innocent? Naruto opened his mouth to speak.

“Anyway, this isn’t about me. Sorry for high-jacking the conversation.”

Naruto knew that this was Sasuke’s way of stepping back. Naruto now knew what might happen if he continued to push.

“I’m okay. You’ll give yourself grey hair if you keep worrying about me.”

Sasuke frowned.

“You can call me any time. I’m actually pretty set on _not_ being a royal dick to you through this, believe it or not.”

Naruto couldn’t help but laugh.

“You can spend the night if you want.”

How could Naruto refuse that?

“I have work at five.”

“Mn. Then you’d better get to sleep soon. I’m assuming you’ll have to pick up your uniform before going in.”

“I’m exhausted in...a few different meanings of the word right now,” Naruto said with a sheepish laugh. And this really said something, as every moment he spent with Sasuke was a treasure to him. “If it’s okay, can I go to bed now? I’ll leave a little past four.”

“Of course. Need anything to fall asleep?”

“Nah,” Naruto answered. “I’ll sleep like a brick.”

After all the crying and the emotional quicksand he’d sunk into that night, he was sure he’d be out the minute his head hit the pillow.

“Alright. I’m going to sit out on the patio for some fresh air for a while.”

Naruto pouted.

“By fresh air, do you mean cancer sticks?”

“No cancer sticks tonight.”

Naruto seemed only slightly placated.

“Give me an hour, and I’ll join you. I’ll have coffee waiting for you when you wake up.”

 _I’m not a good person_ , Sasuke had said.

Bullshit.

* * *

As expected, Sasuke was awake when Naruto left. As pleased as he was to see Sasuke another time before he was sent back into his daily grind, the thought of Sasuke enduring so many sleepless nights saddened him.

Sasuke moved to pat Naruto on the shoulder as he left, but Naruto pulled Sasuke into him by his arm and planted quite the kiss on his lips, opening his mouth and moving his tongue behind Sasuke’s teeth. Naruto’s warm flesh moved over Sasuke’s tongue stud. Knowing that he’d only make Sasuke miss him more, he turned and walked out the door before Sasuke had a chance to reciprocate.

He wasn’t gone for more than an hour before thoughts of Sasuke became nearly unbearable. His phone tempted him with every passing minute until he finally relented, taking his ten minute break an hour earlier than he normally did.

“Hey, Kiba.”

Kiba turned over to Naruto.

“I’m gonna take my ten minutes, okay? I’ll be here. Get me if you need me.”

“Alright,” Kiba called back.

Naruto grabbed a small table, close enough to the front counter that it wouldn’t be difficult for Kiba to garner his attention, but far enough to secure some privacy. He slipped his cell out of his pocket and plopped himself down in his seat.

“If one more rich and middle aged white woman orders a spiced pumpkin latte today, I’m going to flip a table,” Naruto texted.

Texting such a long sentiment was a significant effort on Naruto’s part. Sasuke always used perfect grammar in his texts. As he leaned against the back wall, it took Naruto nearly two minutes to type it, idly wondering if they'd ever come up with a better way to do this. In any case, he wanted to hear from Sasuke. After the fight they’d had the day before, he needed the reassurance.

Naruto’s phone vibrated in a matter of minutes.

“Stop bitching,” one message read. Sasuke. “You don’t know the shit I’ve seen in this job.”

Naruto chuckled, his cheeks hurting a little from the smile that automatically presented itself on his lips.

“Oh, poor baby Sasu…” he texted back.

Only a few seconds passed. Naruto assumed that Sasuke must have been taking a break.

“My last customer hadn’t showered in at least three days, and I had to tattoo his ass.”

Naruto laughed as he looked down at his phone. Kiba passed by Naruto, delivering a croissant and coffee to a gentleman a couple tables over. He walked over to Naruto before returning to the counter, muttering to him.

“Jesus. You’re giggling like a lovesick teenager.”

“I’m not _giggling_. I’m…” Naruto stopped, looking around him now to ensure that his coworkers weren’t staring. “Christ, is it that obvious? Do you think people can tell?”

“No,” Kiba replied. “You’re such a space cadet naturally. It’s your saving grace.”

“Your _mom_ is a space cadet!” Naruto shot back, pointing at Kiba.

“Ugh…” Kiba answered, rolling his eyes and getting back to work.

“That’s nasty,” Naruto answered, painstakingly sending Sasuke another text. “You better take a shower before I see you again.”

“I need coffee,” was all Sasuke answered.

“Cool. We have that here. Come and finish my shift for me.”

Naruto stared at his phone for several minutes, waiting for a response. Naruto pouted when his break ended, frowning before returning to his shift. The hours that passed until the closing of his shift were at least somewhat more tolerable, now that he’d had his fix.

He returned to his apartment and sat on his living room couch, looking at all of the furniture and clutter in his house and resting his head in his hands. There were papers everywhere, and the dishes needed to be washed. After his time in the Marines, it was strange for his house to be in such disarray. He’d become in some ways meticulous, and the out of control situation of Naruto’s apartment made him feel a little out of control himself.

It was Monday, and he’d have to get all of this to his storage room by Thursday at the latest. His apartment was a bloody mess, and his flight left at six on Friday morning.

How was all of this stuff going to fit, anyway? He had some large furniture and was prepared to donate it if needed. The thought of his favorite electric guitar sitting in an empty room, lonely and unappreciated, sat ill with him.

“Awww, Aliiii,” Naruto whined, picking up his guitar and hugging it, resting his arms around what Naruto called her waist. “I’m going to miss you so much! All alone in that big storage room...”

Naruto sighed.

“Not like I’ll be faring much better.”

The guitar sat silently beside him. He wasn’t sure why he’d expected anything but.

“But it might not be all bad. Maybe I’ll make some friends, and maybe I’ll save a bunch of kids! Explosions behind me, all dramatic and shit!”

Maybe he would. But there was an unwelcome assortment of possibilities that could unfold, and unfortunately, these were far likelier scenarios.

Naruto sighed.

He needed to get lost. Thoughts bombarded him, so he picked up Ali, staring down her neck. He strummed an E chord softly, deciphering the hum of each string being brushed. He knew what he needed.

Naruto strummed each string as he twisted the tuning pegs. He moved through each one, finally settling on Drop D tuning.

Naruto loved this tuning, especially since everything he played in it ended up sounding just right. It allowed so much room for improvisation, and he fluidly switched between chords as they returned to their favored fifth and eighth frets. The instant the next note in his melody announced itself in Naruto’s mind, his fingers created it. Every one of his thoughts was brought to life with no filter, a world that he created with each strum of his right hand.

In his heart was the melody, and the melody was his heart personified. His pain, anxiety, fear, and determination were expressed so clearly with each vibration of the instrument’s nylon strings. There was no need to think. The music did that for him.

Naruto wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he stopped playing, his left fingertips rough and red, nearly bleeding. It had been a long time since he’d done that to himself. He’d built up strong callouses over his years of playing the guitar.

Naruto sighed, glancing down at his lap. One more song, he decided. His most familiar piece.

Blackbird.

His father taught him this, his favorite Beatles song, when Naruto was only eight. It was a simple song for a beginner, and he’d played it so many times that he didn’t need to keep his eyes open. He found himself wishing that he could go back to those times, when he played on the jungle gym while his dad took conference calls.

“All your life…” Naruto sung under his breath. “You were only waiting for this moment to arise.”

And finally, he heard the vibration of his cell phone. He was embarrassed by how quickly it caused him to place his guitar down.

_Sasuke._

“Free, finally.”

Shit, it was already ten? He’d been playing for hours.

“YOU LI8E, thank the heavens,” Naruto texted as quickly as he could.

Dammit, he’d never once seen Sasuke make a typo!

“Hilarious. I’m exhausted.”

He felt pressured to see Sasuke every day. Technically, he had seen Sasuke this morning, actually. But he didn’t want to force this pace with Sasuke.

“Yeah. How much sleep have you gotten in the past few days?”

“Not enough,” came the quick response.

“Nooo, I’m curious.”

“7 hours in the last 3 days.”

Naruto’s jaw dropped. God, that sounded...horrible. How could Sasuke even function? If this were the norm for him, how could his body hold up?

“wtf?! is it always like this for you?”

“It comes and goes.”

The corners of Naruto’s lips sunk. He’d never thought that Sasuke would be so severe, especially given how successful he was in the tattooist scene.

“That sucks mega donkey dick.”

“Indeed.”

“You can always call me if you can’t fall asleep!” Naruto said, finding that his legs were kicking back and forth.

“Idiot.”

Naruto wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

“Try to catch some zzzs.”

“I’m taking you to bed with me.”

Naruto’s eyes widened. He didn’t think before answering.

“WHAT?! I want to go to bed with you!”

“As in our conversation. I’m bringing the phone with me to bed.”

“...Oh.”

“I don’t mind you being in my bed though.”

“I don’t mind being in your bed. All night long!” Naruto texted. “I’m waggling my brows at you.” Another text, “Waggle waggle waggle.”

“That was physically painful to read.”

Naruto found himself chuckling, as if Sasuke were there speaking to him right now.

“I hate texting, can I call you?”

“No. Too tired.”

Naruto began to type that he hadn’t meant now.

“Unless you’re sad,” another text came.

Naruto couldn’t help but smile.

“I am sad. Sad I’m not talkin to you!”

“Mhm.”

“Srsly, I didn’t mean now. Sleep while you can.”

“Yeah.”

“One last thing,” Naruto texted immediately, hoping that Sasuke hadn’t put his phone down yet. “Want to meet up? Tues, Wed, and Thurs are left.”

Just three days. Naruto knew it, but seeing it in text before him soured his gut. It was the same way he felt when he looked at his dwindling work schedule, when he surveyed his messy house and knew that everything would be in boxes within a day.

“Tomorrow’s good. I’m getting off early.”

“K, 6 sound good?”

“Yeah.”

Naruto couldn’t help but grin, feeling as if something warm and bubbly had filled his chest.

“Okay. Hope you get some sleep.”

“Good night.”

“Gnight!”

Naruto decided that he’d go to bed along with Sasuke. He’d never let Sasuke know that he was attempting to align his sleeping patterns with Sasuke’s. He didn’t want to sleep through any time he could spend with him. If he had his way, he’d see Sasuke every day up until departure. But if he was going to get anywhere with Sasuke, he’d have to be patient.

And when Sasuke was there, Naruto forgot. He forgot about how his life as he knew it would change in a mere three days, how this could possibly be his last three days on American soil. He forgot about the orders he’d be forced to follow, the lonely nights. His life as a civilian was coming to a close, at least for the near future. He was a Marine. This is what he chose.

Not even Kiba could alleviate this burning. And God, he missed Sakura. He’d only spoke with her briefly, a couple days ago. She was okay...or at least so she said. Naruto was able to tell her that he’d be leaving soon. How was she fairing?

Maybe Sasuke was right. Maybe he was falling into everything too soon. But it was so much less terrifying to think of Sasuke as it was to think of all of these alternatives. And with Sasuke, not always but every now and again, all of the bullshit seemed to disappear. All of his life, he’d leaned on his music to take him away, but Sasuke’s power was even greater.

Naruto had never had any challenges in falling asleep; it was getting in bed in the first place that was difficult for him. He wished he could share some of that with Sasuke. He rested his head on the pillow and focused on the next time the two of them would meet. The next sound he heard was that of his alarm clock buzzing, causing Naruto to groan and swat in its general direction. It was time to leave for work.

“Good morning, Snookums,” Naruto texted.

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

Naruto gave an impish grin as he kicked his feet under the covers.

“You did. I appreciate your input, Snookums.”

Sasuke’s next response was a picture, of his right hand specifically. It was proudly flipping Naruto the bird, nails painted black. Naruto laughed.

“What pretty nails.”

Naruto couldn’t help but feel envious. There was no way he’d be affording a camera phone any time soon. Maybe when he returned? Giving up on texting, Naruto placed a call to Sasuke.

“Yeah, good morning, dumbass,” Sasuke said, answering the phone.

“Mornin’, Snookums.”

Odd… Naruto could’ve sworn he’d heard a click.

And then a dial tone.

“Asshole!” Naruto shouted out, as if Sasuke were there to hear him.

He dialed Sasuke back, and he answered in three rings.

“Hello?” Sasuke said innocently.

“You fuckin’ bastard!” Naruto said, a little bit of laughter in his voice.

“Oh, it’s you,” Sasuke answered with mock surprise.

“If I were over there, I’d whack you over the head.”

“Sure.”

Naruto grumbled under his breath, getting out of bed and stretching his back to the side.

“So… We’re meeting up tonight.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Where should we meet up?”

“Up to you. Want to go somewhere?”

Naruto shrugged, despite knowing that Sasuke couldn’t see him. He didn’t feel up to going out, honestly. He liked his time with Sasuke.

“Only if you do,” Naruto replied.

“I don’t like being around people much more than I have to.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

Of course, Naruto knew the answer to this, though he passed up on no opportunity to tease Sasuke for being considerate.

“Your place or mine?” Sasuke circumvented.

Naruto missed the simple luxury of Sasuke’s house that reminded him so much of his lover. He missed Sasuke’s scent, his patio, his piano...

“Uh… Well, there’s not much to do at my house…” Naruto said sheepishly.

“Okay. My place at six. I’ll be here.”

“Yup! See ya.”

Naruto knew Sasuke could hear the smile in his voice. He hoped it made him happy.

* * *

Naruto’s shift passed slowly - even more so than usual. Kiba and he shared a shift, as they would tomorrow. Tomorrow’s shift was the last they’d have together until Naruto left. It was an early one. Afterward, they’d move Naruto’s things into storage and grab some drinks. Naruto would have to pay Kiba back some day for his kindness.

Naruto brought a shirt to change into when he went off to Mugs - a simple burnt orange T-shirt to go with his neatly pressed dark blue work jeans. As he rode the subway to Sasuke’s stop, he found himself smiling. Returning to street level, he craned his neck backward as he looked at the skyscraper Sasuke lived in.

As always, his ears popped in the elevator on his way up. The elevator had a gorgeous view of the city, twilight descending as the uncountable myriad of pinpoint lights spanned out as far as he could see. Leaving the elevator, finally knocking on Sasuke’s door.

Sasuke promptly answered, holding the door open and holding his arm back, gesturing for Naruto to come in. He was dressed in blue jeans and a black tank top. It was simple; Naruto cursed Sasuke for being so effortlessly attractive.

“How was work?” Naruto asked, taking a seat on Sasuke’s couch.

“Fine,” Sasuke shrugged. “How was your shift?”

Naruto didn’t want to own up to the fact that he was tortured all day by the thought of seeing Sasuke again.

“Long.”

“Did you come straight here from work?”

“Yeah.” Naruto answered.

“Hungry?”

Naruto grinned sheepishly.

“Yeah.”

“When’s the last time you ate anyway?”

Naruto was a man of his word. He wouldn’t lie.

“Umm… I kind of… Skipped lunch so… Eight? Maybe?”

“Do you have to faint at work before you’ll finally learn?” Sasuke chided, clucking his tongue. “You’re an adult. Act like one.”

“Okay, _Mom_. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Idiot.”

Naruto gave a mischievous laugh as Sasuke left the room, soon returning with a booklet of restaurants. It looked like they were distributed by Sasuke’s apartment complex. A few of the restaurants were marked with black or blue pen ink. Naruto tucked this information away for future reference, should he want to take Sasuke out.

“Let’s get something delivered. What kind of food are you in the mood for?” Sasuke asked, perusing the list.

“I eat everything.”

“No preference?”

“No, I’ll eat what you want to eat.”

Sasuke simply shrugged.

“How about Indian?” Naruto asked.

“Not in the mood. Thai?” Sasuke asked. “There’s a place a couple blocks out.”

“Hmm…” Naruto replied. “I could eat that…”

It was rare for Naruto not to be in the mood for any type of food. In the past week, he’d found himself much more emotional, and also far more prone to cravings and late night snacks. It seemed that the reverse was also true. He certainly wasn’t in the mood for Thai, but he wasn’t about to contradict what he’d said earlier.

“You could eat it, as in that’s what you want?” Sasuke asked as he rested his right ankle on his left thigh.

“Ah… I mean I _could_ eat it. Whatever you want.”

“Ideally, we’d both enjoy our food,” Sasuke replied, sounding a little frustrated.

“Thai is fine.”

A few seconds of silence passed.

“You don’t want Thai.”

“I mean. I _could_...”

“Dammit, Naruto. Just tell me what you want to eat!”

“Ah… Greek?” Naruto proposed.

The minute he said it, he knew he wanted it. The hot gyro meat, the cool tzatziki sauce, the feta...

“This place is good,” Sasuke said, pointing down at an ad. “The menu’s right here.”

Naruto only had to see the menu for a second before he decided on his selection.

“Oh! I’m getting the lamb gyro, with extra feta and tzatziki!”

“Great,” Sasuke said.

Sasuke promptly placed their order: a chicken and beef kebab combo and a lamb gyro. It arrived within minutes.

Naruto lay the food out before them as Sasuke flipped on the TV, settling on the news.

Neither of them had dressed to impress, so to speak. They ate off of paper plates with their plastic utensils, Naruto leaning against Sasuke. Naruto alternated between watching the TV and watching Sasuke. He liked this. It was casual.

“In recent news, Nelson Mandela has issued controversial statements regarding America’s involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan,” said the news anchor, a man with thick white hair and a round face.

Naruto continued to stuff his face with his gyro.

“As Nelson Mandela has commented, ‘The United States has made serious mistakes in the conduct of its foreign affairs, which have had unfortunate repercussions long after the decisions were taken.’”

Both of their eyes now gravitated to the television.

“Mandela went on to say, ‘If you look at those matters, you will come to the conclusion that the attitude of the United States of America is a threat to world peace.’”

“Want me to change the channel?” Sasuke asked, now observing Naruto.

Naruto shook his head.

“No. I respect Mandela. I want to hear his opinion.”

“‘America is saying that if you are afraid of a veto in the Security Council, you can go outside and take action and violate the sovereignty of other countries. That is the message they are sending to the world. That must be condemned in the strongest terms.’”

The anchor paused for a moment.

“We’ve invited military pundit and recently retired general Anthony Zinni for comments. More from him after our next commercial break.”

In an instant, they were met for an advertisement for mattresses. The two continued to eat in silence for a few seconds.

“Sasuke…” Naruto said. “We’ve never really talked about the war.”

“Mn.”

“Do you… Do you agree with Mandela? Do you think this whole thing is pointless?”

Sasuke had already picked up some meat with his fork. He set his fork down on his plate before he took the bite.

“I can’t say whether or not it’s pointless.”

“If you were in charge, would you send our troops there?”

Sasuke sighed.

“No. I wouldn’t.”

So Sasuke was against the war to begin with, something Naruto was prepared to die for. The idea soured his stomach.

“But no matter what, I will always support you and your decision.”

Naruto nodded, appreciating Sasuke’s honesty. He wished Sasuke felt differently, but there was no changing that. Nor would he ever want to.

“I understand,” Naruto replied simply.

“Naruto, I think that you risking your life for your country and values is admirable. I respect that.”

“Honestly…” Naruto began. “Sometimes I have my doubts too. I don’t know the answers, but I took an oath to support my country. I live and die by my word. Semper Fi, you know?”

Semper Fi. “Always faithful.”

It was the motto of the Marines. Words he had promised to live his life by, and Naruto’s word was his bond.

“I hope that we can bring peace to Afghanistan, put someone new in charge and get the terrorists to back down.”

“I hope so too,” Sasuke said.

Naruto frowned, looking down at his gyro. The subject matter wasn’t doing much for his appetite.

“When the towers fell… I was at work. It was chaos. They had us all evacuate,” Naruto murmured. “That morning, Kiba lost his sister in the explosion. All of those people, dead… I don’t want something like that to ever happen again.”

It hurt Naruto, whenever he remembered the look on Kiba’s face when he heard the news. At the time, they hadn’t known each other for long, but it hit him to his core. He knew what it was like to lose a family member.

“Where were you?”

“I was in my apartment. I didn’t have work for another couple hours and had just gotten dressed. When the radio announced what was happening, I ran out on the patio. I’m so high up that I saw everything. The first plane had already hit by then,” Sasuke said.

“I saw the second plane hit with my own eyes. I didn’t know if we were going to war, or what… I looked beneath me at the street, and it was a chaos unlike anything I’ve ever seen. We all evacuated.”

Naruto knew just what Sasuke was talking about. That feeling when the second plane hit… He had never been so frightened in his life, which really did say something. It enforced Naruto’s fears: This was not an accident.

Whether they had a hydrogen bomb, or an entire country had decided to try to eradicate them… Naruto had no idea. It was that terrifying uncertainty, his co-workers and him huddling close to each other, some of them sobbing. He did his best to keep them calm.

No one in New York City could be sure that they would survive that day. It was an event that would change their city, its culture and very DNA, forever.

“Yeah…” Naruto answered. “I still remember how I felt when the second plane hit. All bets were off. I wondered if there was a bomb. It could easily wipe out the whole city.”

Naruto frowned.

“I hate war. But if this will bring our countries peace and deter terrorists… I mean, we even have the Afghan National Army on our side.”

“Naruto…” Sasuke said, biting his lower lip. “Do what you have to do. There’s no room for guilt.”

“I’ll try,” was Naruto’s tentative response. “But sometimes I feel guilty when I step on bugs, so we’ll see how that pans out.”

Naruto finished with an awkward laugh, because the silence weighed him down. He averted his eyes, but Sasuke’s stare, soft and pensive, didn’t waver.

“Speaking of all of that… I need you to understand what to expect while I’m away.”

Sasuke simply nodded.

“While I’m gone, I can call you by satellite phone. I won’t always know when… Usually just when I have spare time and the phone’s not being used. I’ll have to call you pretty randomly.”

Sasuke shrugged.

“I can work with that.”

“If I know your shifts, I can try to work around them. And since you’re always awake at such weird times, I’ll be able to call you when the phone’s not in high demand.”

“Is there any way I can reach you?”

“Yeah. You can send packages. I won’t be able to use the internet. But you can send e-mails to an e-mail address I’ll give you, and they’ll print them out and give them to me. You can put pictures in it too.”

“Hm. Better than I expected, honestly.”

Naruto was grateful for every word he could share with Sasuke while he was away. But it would never be enough. He’d never be able to see his face over the time that would pass except through pictures. He’d never be able to see the look on Sasuke’s face when they spoke, never be able to smell the scent of his soap.

This conversation was beginning to move mechanically, casual as if they were discussing the weather. Naruto swallowed, knowing he’d have to share uncomfortable truths with Sasuke.

“Sometimes all communications are shut down. We won’t be able to reach each other until they put our communications back up again.”

“I see,” Sasuke answered simply.

“It can happen for several reasons. We could be going on a secret mission. It’ll also happen whenever anyone in my unit is badly injured. They want to make sure protocol’s followed regarding notifying family. It’s...not exactly something we want them hearing through the grapevine, ya know?”

Sasuke nodded with a somber expression on his face, again quiet.

“We call that being in River City.”

River City was a horrifying thing, he knew. The waiting, the suffocating uncertainty that this time, it would be him that they called it for. Sasuke would have to live with that uncertainty, not knowing whether Naruto was alive or dead, until communications were freed up again.

“How will I find out when it’s lifted? Will you call me?”

The concern in Sasuke’s voice couldn’t be missed.

“Well, it’d be faster to ask Granny. She let me pick her for my first of kin. The FRO will let her know first, and I can just put your e-mail on her distribution list. She can tell my friends then when I’m in River City.”

“Ah… FRO?”

“Oh yeah…” Naruto chuckled sheepishly. “Sorry for the lingo. It stands for Family Readiness Officer. That’s the first of kin’s main military contact. They’ll call Granny if anything big happens.”

Anything big. Naruto was grateful when Sasuke didn’t press for details. He knew that Sasuke was smart enough to connect the dots.

“If you want, I can give you her phone number. I’ll let her know who you are.”

“That might be good,” Sasuke answered. “Just in case.”

Naruto was hoping that Sasuke would ask for Tsunade’s phone number. He couldn’t help but smile.

“Do you have any questions?” Naruto asked.

“It’s pretty clear to me,” Sasuke said simply.

“Mn…” Naruto muttered. “Oh… Tomorrow, I’ll have to put all my stuff in storage. I’m leaving at the asscrack of dawn Friday morning, so that just leaves Thursday. Are you free?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke said. “I’m taking the day off.”

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. Kiba had been busy all of Thursday, so Wednesday was the only day he could make the move.

After this evening, he would only be seeing Sasuke one more time. He forced a smile on his face, feeling a little sick to his stomach.

Naruto reminded himself that this had been his choice. That he’d taken an oath, and he fought for something much greater than himself. But that didn’t blunt the pain.

“Sounds good.”

Naruto licked his lips, biting some of the rougher skin on his bottom lip that had been pestering him. His lips had gotten just a slight bit chapped.

“Hey, um… I have to put Ali in storage, and…”

“Ali?” Sasuke asked, tilting his head.

Naruto felt himself flush ever so slightly.

“Oh…yeah,” Naruto laughed. “I named my guitar Ali.”

“Weirdo,” Sasuke said with a crooked smile, bumping his shoulder into Naruto’s arm.

Naruto pushed Sasuke back with a laugh that was much more genuine.

“Well… Ali is special to me, and I don’t want her to sit there collecting dust. It’s not good for her. And you were learning to play the guitar anyway, so…”

Sasuke’s face was blank. It was so difficult to read him.

“I was wondering if you’d want to keep her while I’m away. I trust you.”

The smile that emerged on Sasuke’s face was mild, almost imperceptible, and gentle.

“Of course. Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of it.”

“Ahem,” Naruto pitched in, bobbing his head in Sasuke’s direction.

Sasuke rolled his eyes with a dramatic sigh, angling his body toward Naruto’s.

“I’ll take good care of _her_.”

“Much better,” Naruto beamed.

“Do you name _everything_?”

Naruto stopped to think a moment. He grabbed Sasuke’s hand, placing it on his groin.

“Meet Vlad the Impaler.”

Sasuke gave Naruto a look as if Naruto had just admitted to torturing kittens in his spare time.

“You know, Vlad the Impaler? He was this dude back in the 1400’s who fought the Ottoman empire and would take the people he killed and drive-”

“I know who Vlad the Impaler is,” Sasuke interrupted.

Naruto looked at Sasuke expectantly, only for Sasuke to sigh and rest his forehead in his hand.

“Okay, I know it’s cheesy. But I named him when I was eleven, and in this life you have to stand by your decisions. I’m ownin’ it.”

“That was a dumbass decision,” Sasuke said, looking back at Naruto. “Your decision to own it is also a dumbass decision, and now I’m judging you.”

“Oh come on,” Naruto said, narrowing his eyes and focusing on Sasuke. “You can’t honestly say you’ve never named your dick.”

“Never,” Sasuke replied without hesitation.

“Never? Not even when you were a kid?” Naruto asked, tilting his head.

He stared Sasuke down, telling himself that he would know if Sasuke lied. Sasuke cast Naruto an odd look.

“I don’t believe it. At _some point_ you must have named it. Everyone does.”

“What world do you live in?” Sasuke said, tilting his brow and leaning away from Naruto.

“Then what do you call it?” Naruto asked.

“My dick. What else?”

“Aha!” Naruto said, smiling and pointing at Sasuke. “You know what dick is short for, right?”

Sasuke tilted his head in confusion for just an instant. It was quickly followed by a look of horror.

“You better not be...”

“Richard! So he does have a name!” Naruto said.

“Hello, Richard,” Naruto added, looking down at Sasuke’s crotch and waving.

“Don’t think I’m incapable of murder, Naruto.”

Naruto laughed impishly.

“Ya know, I miss Richard,” Naruto said, leaning closer to Sasuke’s crotch. “It’s been too long.”

“No,” Sasuke insisted, taking the heel of his hand to Naruto’s nose and pushing him away. “This is not a ‘thing.’”

“Excuse you? I’ll be the judge of that.”

“Unless you don’t want to get laid any time soon. Guaranteed boner killer.”

“Aw…” Naruto said. “He’d be like a depressed elephant then. Or maybe a sad, deflated carnival toy, just a shadow of his former self. Poor Richard.”

Sasuke stared at him, aghast.

“Naruto, you’re appalling.”

“Oh no. I can’t have the almighty Uchiha Sasuke _judge_ me!”

“Naruto, I’m in a constant state of judging you,” Sasuke said with a haughty tilt of his head. “There is no beginning and no end.”

Naruto laughed, jabbing Sasuke in the arm.

“Yeah, that’s you. Just sitting back and silently judging everyone your whole life.”

Despite the subject matter, their bodies were close, bare arms pressed against each other. Sasuke’s skin was cooler than his.

“Who said anything about it being silent?” Sasuke asked, cocking a pierced brow.

“Well lah dee dah,” Naruto teased as he once again stuck his tongue out at Sasuke.

“To be clear, you’re not getting _anything_ from me ever if you keep calling my dick Richard.”

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other for a few seconds, a silent pause between them. Naruto laughed.

“Okay, I feel you. So are you saying I’ll get some if I stop?”

Sasuke snickered.

“You have the most awkward ways of hitting on people.”

“Hey!” Naruto shouted at Sasuke, still laughing.

He fought the temptation to just kiss Sasuke. He was looking gorgeous beside him, the golden light of the living room tinging Sasuke’s inked skin with a warm yellow from his dining room lamp.

“I have to admit that you’ve improved. Marginally.”

“Oh, and are you hinting that I have _you_ to thank for that?”

Naruto leaned on Sasuke, gently flicking his temple.

“You’re more to the point. I must have rubbed off on you.”

“Well, you certainly are blunt,” Naruto said, moving closer to Sasuke.

“I cut out the bullshit,” Sasuke said matter-of-factly.

“Do you have a single romantic bone in your body?” Naruto asked as he leaned his weight against Sasuke’s.

“Not last I checked.”

Sasuke looked back at him, their stares locking together. Naruto realized his eyes must’ve been lust-ridden.

Naruto turned to face Sasuke, placing his hand on Sasuke’s jaw as he kissed him, the tip of Naruto’s fingers barely reaching out behind hinge of his jaw. His fingers fiddled with one of Sasuke’s earrings, then raked through Sasuke’s thick black hair.

Provoked, Sasuke locked his hand into Naruto’s hair, holding Naruto put as he kissed him. Naruto felt his neck relax, and a low and almost silent moan escaped Naruto’s mouth.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said, “You said you wanted to try some things.”

It felt like Naruto’s stomach had leapt up into this throat.

“Yes. I want to try lots of things,” Naruto answered awkwardly.

“I’m sure you do,” Sasuke whispered in Naruto’s ear, biting his lobe safely away from Naruto’s new piercing and tugging. Despite it all, Naruto thought, he was so conscientious.

Naruto felt his chest and forehead flush, knowing his blood was rushing against his will. Naruto felt an uncomfortable hardness around his balls, his cock perking up to attention. Sasuke panted, a victorious smirk on his face.

“Well… That went from zero to one hundred... _very_ quickly,” Naruto said, laughing awkwardly. “But yeah… It’s… Like are we gonna...”

“Naru?”

“Yeah?” Naruto answered, bringing himself in closer to the other and perking up at Sasuke’s nickname for him.

“Shut up.”

So much for that sweet tone. What an asshole, Naruto thought to himself with a bemused smile. Sasuke still donned his traditional smirk.

“Follow me, and I’ll show you something.”

Naruto gaped at Sasuke as he walked towards his bedroom.

“Come on. The night’s not getting any younger.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> I have thought a long time about how I will handle the political and logistic aspects of Naruto's deployment. It's something that simply must be addressed, in my opinion, for the story to be realistic. In general, I want to handle such a serious issue with every ounce of respect and prudence that it deserves.
> 
> Regardless of my political stance, I have nothing but utmost respect for those that served during these wars. Sasuke feels similarly.


	16. Destroy Me

Naruto followed at Sasuke’s heels, Sasuke sitting down on the end of the bed with his legs crossed. He supported his weight on the heel of his hands as he leaned back toward the bed.

Naruto was beginning to feel control slip out from under him, leaning down on one knee so that his face moved over Sasuke’s. Sasuke jerked Naruto down by his collar, forcing Naruto down to his level and kissing him, his tongue requesting entrance into Naruto’s mouth and curling around Naruto’s own soft and wet muscle.

“So, you want to experiment,” Sasuke said as their mouths parted. It was impossible for their eyes to meet; their faces were too close. Naruto felt the slightest bit of warm breath, the softness of Sasuke’s lips brushing against his own with each one of Sasuke’s words.

“Yes…”

“What do you want? Pleasure?”

Naruto moaned, feeling so constrained by his own clothing.

“Pain?” Sasuke continued.

“I want all of it,” Naruto almost growled, opening some distance between the two of them so that he could stare Sasuke down with vicious eyes. “Everything you can dish out.”

Sasuke simply smirked.

“I’ll believe that when I see it.”

Naruto jerked Sasuke back by his hair, his pale throat bared to both of them. Naruto saw his Adam’s apple move as Sasuke swallowed slightly.

“You’ll eat your words.”

Yet this did nothing to remedy Sasuke’s knowing sneer.

“Glad to know you’re onboard,” Sasuke said. “Safe words?”

“I don’t _need_ safe words,” Naruto snarled. “Even if I say no, I don’t want you to stop. I can take it all.”

It was as though Naruto acted on pure instinct. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so hijacked by his hormones.

“How cute,” Sasuke sneered. “And stupid. You’ve not a fucking clue what you’re signing up for, first-timer.”

“Please,” Naruto said. “You can’t scare me.”

Naruto had never seen the malicious, wicked smile that bubbled to the surface on Sasuke’s face. That in of itself was somewhat unnerving, though Naruto would have rather died than admitted it.

“I accept your challenge.”

Naruto felt his heart drum in his chest, for just a second wondering if he’d stepped out of his league. He instantly chided himself. Like hell could Sasuke ever intimidate him.

“Sit down and face the wall,” Sasuke ordered.

Naruto sat on his rear, his feet resting against the ground. He faced away from Sasuke, and the only indications he had to go by was the sound of rummaging in the nearby closet.

“You liked this, remember?” Sasuke said, making his way over to Naruto and tying that familiar satin blindfold over Naruto’s eyes.

Suddenly Naruto’s mouth felt dry, and he licked at his chapped lower lip. Sasuke was still rummaging through a few items, and it felt like a century until Sasuke finally sat next to him. Even without seeing Sasuke, he focused on the warmth of his body and the indentation in the mattress.

Sasuke sat in Naruto’s lap, facing the opposite direction. He forced Naruto’s back into the bed, lifting the bottom of his shirt. Sasuke rubbed his thumb over Naruto’s lip to warn him that he was about to kiss Naruto, grunting softly into their kiss as Naruto moaned. Sasuke moved to Naruto’s neck, sucking relentlessly at Naruto’s sun-kissed sin.

Sasuke’s mouth left Naruto’s neck with a plop. Naruto knew that Sasuke must’ve left quite the mark behind.

He didn’t give a shit. It only meant making his unit jealous.

He pushed Naruto’s shirt up and traced his finger down, from just under Naruto’s strong pecs to his navel. Sasuke lifted his finger, and what Naruto felt next…

It was sharp. A knife, just barely pricking the area where his sternum ended. Or was it a scalpel? Naruto froze, not even daring enough to breathe.

“Sasu…”

And Sasuke pressed down, a raucous pain searing down his middle at the incision. Despite Naruto’s shouting, Sasuke continued to move the tool down his stomach, as if he were gutting him like a fish.

“What the _fuck_ , Sasuke?” Naruto shouted.

Naruto jerked, shoving Sasuke off of him and lifting up his blindfold.

“Are you cra-”

He stared down his chest, expecting to see a bloody mess.

Nothing.

His skin was its typical tan without even the slightest traces of irritation. Sasuke lay on his belly beside him, looking as snide as was humanly possible and holding none other than...a butter knife.

“Wha-” Naruto gaped. _“What?!”_

Sasuke tinkered with the butter knife in his hand, clearly enjoying the turmoil he’d just sent Naruto through.

“A butter knife? You really can’t handle much, can you?”

“Oh _no_ , no,” Naruto said, pointing at Sasuke. “That was no butter knife. What the hell did you do?”

Naruto was still absolutely baffled that there had been no damage to his skin. It truly had felt like Sasuke had taken a scalpel and sliced.

“Your hand,” Sasuke ordered.

Naruto lent his to Sasuke only now realizing that it was sweating and trembling, ever so slightly.

When Sasuke moved closer to the bed, he noticed that the knife had two alligator clamps connecting to it. The wires moved down to attach to a small box with a dial.

“That was an electric current,” Sasuke said. “It hooks up to the butter knife, and I can control how much electricity is being sent through it.”

Sasuke turned the dial toward the left, taking Naruto’s hand and running the end of the knife down his palm.

It caused Naruto’s fingers to flinch, instinctively attempting to form a fist. It was the exact same sensation, though milder than before. Of course, it left not even the slightest trace.

“God, that’s so… That’s insane.”

Sasuke had mentioned electricity play, but Naruto had no idea that it could be so intense. How could it feel so real, as if a knife were truly tearing into his flesh?

“If you think that was insane, I only had the dial turned up to level four. There are eight levels.”

Naruto’s jaw dropped, causing Sasuke to snicker at his dumbfounded facial expression.

“So, safe words?”

Naruto nodded wordlessly. He hated how Sasuke had managed to put him in his place, but he was right.

“Good boy,” Sasuke said, kissing Naruto on his ear.

“How about…” Naruto mumbled. “How about ‘mercy’?”

“Mn,” Sasuke said, his tone of voice low and sensual. “As much as I’d love to hear you say that, it would only bait me on. Mercy isn’t my strong suit.”

Naruto felt himself tremble, and even he wasn’t sure if it was from arousal or from a feeling akin to that of being a cornered animal. Would the man before him be his angel or his devil tonight?

Sasuke looked so powerful to him at that moment - his taut muscles, the ability he had to hold Naruto’s pain and pleasure in the palm of his hand, the gorgeous ink that stained his arms, chest, and back...

“Besides, we can’t pick anything you’d say accidentally.”

Naruto frowned. The only ideas in his head were things like banana, Oklahoma, blender… He wanted to stop the scene, not kill anyone’s boner.

“Red, yellow, and green,” Sasuke offered. “You call red, and I stop in my tracks. Call yellow, and I’ll slow down, give you a chance to talk. As for green…”

Sasuke smirked.

“You’re more than welcome to tell me to slam on the gas in that way, but I’d prefer that you be as detailed as possible.”

“Okay.”

Naruto lay down on the bed, with Sasuke crawling up to him, Naruto’s stomach between Sasuke’s legs.

“If you’re uncomfortable, use our safe word. It’s not about pride. You’ll be on your knees sooner or later, so there’s nothing to lose.”

Despite Sasuke’s dirty talk, Naruto knew that Sasuke was concerned about him. He’d definitely managed to bring Naruto down to size, whatever the case. Sasuke was powerful and lethal, like the snake etched onto his arm.

“Relax,” Sasuke whispered directly into Naruto’s ear. “Breathe.”

He only now realized that he had forgotten to do so. His entire body had frozen, a mixture of lust, excitement, insecurity, and even a tinge of fear. Naruto reached up and rested his hand against Sasuke’s forearm, feeling the slightest raised contrast of the ink.

“I hadn’t meant to rattle you so badly.”

“You didn’t rattle me,” Naruto answered stubbornly, only for Sasuke to issue a skeptical raise of his brows. Naruto reluctantly supposed that he’d had it coming.

Naruto propped himself up on his elbows, kissing Sasuke and planting small nips down his neck.

“Sasu, I want this,” Naruto said between kisses. He placed his hands underneath Sasuke’s shirt and felt up his abs. His hands finally made it up to Sasuke’s chest, where he gave the metal barbell a slight pull. Ever so silently, Sasuke gave a soft moan of appreciation.

“I trust you. Show me what you can do.”

“I want you naked,” Sasuke answered.

Despite having been naked in front of Sasuke a good number of times now, his cheeks flushed at the blunt way Sasuke had asked.

“Only if you get naked too,” Naruto said.

“That won’t do you any good,” Sasuke said, showing Naruto the blindfold he was currently holding.

Naruto bit his lip upon seeing it. Being naked and blind underneath Sasuke… Someone as powerful and mysterious as him, yet kind and gentle…

Naruto grinned, moving his shirt up his stomach at a slow pace. He knew the way the definition lines around his muscles would show through when he flexed in a certain way to take off his clothing. He would give Sasuke a show.

Once he’d done this, Sasuke finally placed the satin blindfold over Naruto’s eyes, kissing him softly as he tied it tightly behind Naruto’s head.

“I’ll take care of the rest,” Sasuke said, unbuttoning Naruto’s jeans and pulling down his boxers.

Only now that he was laid bare to the air’s room did he feel that it was just a slight bit chilly. Naruto had nowhere to hide, even his most private body parts, bared entirely to Sasuke’s lascivious stare, which Naruto now had to imagine rather than see.

The next thing Naruto felt was a rope being tied around his wrist, wrapping around a bedpost. All vision robbed from him, Naruto swallowed tightly. There was something so erotic about the idea of a clothed Sasuke viewing his personals in their entirety, a feeling of vulnerability and even vanity, wanting Sasuke to worship every muscle in his body.

And to be tied now, on top of it?

“Do you know what I’m doing?” Sasuke asked.

The sound of his wrist being tied tightly to the bedpost sent a chill up his spine.

“Yeah…” Naruto said, licking his lips in excitement.

“Do you like it?”

“ _Yes…_ ” Naruto breathed out, only for his wrist to hit against the post as Sasuke tightened the knot.

“Good.”

Naruto’s opposite hand followed. Then his left foot.

With each new extremity Sasuke shackled away, Naruto’s excitement grew. He was hungry, so desperately famished for Sasuke. He loved the sound of Sasuke tying each knot, that feeling of powerlessness, the control sacrificed to none other than his lover, Uchiha Sasuke.

Once Sasuke had finished tying Naruto, Naruto squirmed against the restraints. They held taut. He put more force into it, jerking at the ropes and causing the bed to bounce. He was pinned, and he felt his most sensitive flesh rise to attention. He wished he could see Sasuke. Was Sasuke hard too?

Naruto couldn’t hide it, all limbs pulled back and his manhood free to the open air. Sasuke sat near him so silently that if Naruto hadn’t already known that Sasuke was there, he might’ve passed without Naruto noticing him.

“Sasu…” Naruto panted.

Naruto felt Sasuke’s pointer finger and middle finger trail down from the start of Naruto’s collarbone, moving slowly down as it finally channeled its way down Naruto’s happy trail. He was grateful for that; it grounded him. Naruto moaned, tugging against the restraints and acutely arching his back so that his chest raised, his nipples hard and sensitive.

Sasuke brushed his thumb over Naruto’s raised nipple, giving it the slightest pinch.

“I want to play with your body, Naruto,” Sasuke said huskily. “Not that I haven’t said it before, but I’d love to put some piercings here.”

Truthfully, Naruto had never considered such a thing. But Naruto loved playing with Sasuke’s, and he could tell Sasuke loved it as well. And the idea of Sasuke marking his body even more, looking at him with such lust...

“If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do?”

“I’d pierce both of them,” Sasuke said, pointer fingers and thumbs of each hand rubbing at Naruto’s nipples, making them stand up proudly.

Naruto grinded his ass against the bed, craving friction. He could imagine it so clearly. Sasuke seemed to enjoy it when Naruto tugged on his piercings. What would that feel like?

Sasuke was silent for a moment, perhaps pensive. Naruto felt Sasuke’s hand run up his side, felt the underside of the ring on Sasuke’s fourth finger.

“I think a tat would look great, running up here. You’ve got great definition. Your ribs, your obliques…”

As Sasuke said this, Naruto imagined what it would look like, imagined Sasuke etching the ink into his skin. After all, it was realistic, given that Sasuke was his tattoo artist to begin with.

“I didn’t know anyone noticed those,” Naruto said.

If anything, people generally talked about his abs.

“I notice every last muscle,” Sasuke replied, feeling down Naruto’s stomach now. “Your body is perfection.”

Naruto didn’t know how much more of this talk he could handle, Sasuke’s voice fatally smooth and suggestive.

“Touch me more, Sasu.”

Sasuke licked around Naruto’s areola, flicking his tongue stud over the tip of Naruto’s nipple and causing Naruto to jump just slightly in pleasure. Naruto felt the sides of a clamp tighten around his nipple, and his breath stopped in its tracks.

“Do you like it?” Sasuke asked.

“Try tugging it,” Naruto said.

And when Sasuke pulled, a loud moan left Naruto’s mouth without his permission. It hurt, just a bit. It made sweat accumulate around the back of his knees, made his heart beat a little faster. He heard Sasuke smirk, and it pissed him off.

“Here,” Sasuke offered, securing a matching pair to his other nipple. Naruto felt a chain rest between the two. Ordinarily, it would have been uncomfortable, but as worked up as Naruto was, it just made him hotter.

Naruto tried not to writhe. He would maintain dignity and control until the last minute, he told himself.

“Please, touch me…”

In response, Sasuke bit at the skin on Naruto’s collarbone, pulling back. Naruto arched his back, so desperate for contact.

“More…” Naruto whispered.

“This isn’t how it works. You don’t tell me what to do,” Sasuke answered matter-of-factly.

“Please… Just…”

Naruto heard some sort of ruffling, and soon enough Sasuke was kissing Naruto deeply, their bare chests pressed together. He felt the cold metal of Sasuke’s nipple piercings rub against his sensitive buds, felt the warmth of Sasuke’s stomach as it flattened against each own. He tried to imagine Sasuke as best he could.

Even before Sasuke removed his shirt, Naruto was certain that it was nothing Sasuke could’ve missed. But the feeling of their flesh together spurred him, made him crave the use of his arms so that he could pin Sasuke’s body to his own. He fought his restraints, irritating the skin and reveling in the pain of it.

Naruto jumped as he felt Sasuke’s hand against his hardening cock. What felt like lube-coated rubber brushed the head of his sex, and Naruto was so starved for contact that it took all the restraint he had not to thrust into Sasuke’s hand. Sasuke placed what Naruto now knew was a silicone band around Naruto’s head.

“Have you ever tried one of these?” Sasuke asked, the ring balanced on Naruto’s red and plump head.

“What is it?”

“It’s a cock ring.”

“I haven’t,” Naruto said, his eyes clamped shut.

“It makes you last. And when you finally do cum…” Sasuke said. “It’s otherworldly.”

Naruto licked at his lips, biting his bottom lip.

“Do you want it?”

He had no idea how a cock ring worked, but he trusted Sasuke. He knew that if he didn’t like it, all he had to do was use their safe word. He was glad that Sasuke had forced one on Naruto. With an escape route always in sight, he had no problem treading far, far down into the darkness.

“Yes.”

Naruto felt a tightness as Sasuke rolled the ring over the head of Naruto’s cock.

“Damn, you’re almost my size,” Sasuke said as he rested the ring on Naruto’s shaft, midway. “Perfect fit. Is this good?”

The sensation was so foreign, felt so oddly taboo. Naruto had no idea what he looked like, but he did his best to imagine. He was turned on by the image of Sasuke delicately slipping the ring around Naruto’s cock, the concentration he must’ve had on his face as he straightened it just so. Naruto was even a little turned on by himself, by how needy and shameless he was before Sasuke.

“Yeah…”

He so quickly went hard; it was almost painful. But the tightness around his cock was provocative and offered its own stimulation. It reminded him, just slightly, of intercourse.

“You’re so quiet,” Sasuke said, his voice packed with a smirk as he brushed the now much more sensitive tip of Naruto’s cock with his pointer finger. “You don’t need to hold back.”

“If I talked, all I’d do…” Naruto said. “I’d just beg. I want you to touch me. You’re driving me crazy! I’d touch myself if I could.”

Naruto tugged his right arm again, both disappointed and aroused when the restraints held him back.

“You’re so hard, Naruto,” Sasuke murmured. “You’re standing straight up.”

Naruto had already guessed as much, but he felt his face flush regardless. He heard what he swore was a zipper.

Then warm, stiff flesh was placed against his own. He felt the piercings underneath Sasuke’s cock as they pressed together, felt Sasuke against the silicone ring that bound his manhood. Naruto’s breath caught in his throat. Sasuke was hard too, and it took all of Naruto’s willpower not to grind his cock against Sasuke’s. If only he could see it.

“Be patient.”

“God _…_ ” Naruto whined.

“Before this night is over, I’m going to fill you up to the brim.”

Naruto moaned despite himself.

“Sasuke… You said you were clean, right? I trust you.”

Naruto bit his lip.

“And I am too. This time… Will you go in bare? I want to feel you. God, I just want you to fill me, _really_ fill me until I leak.”

“So this is what you want?” Sasuke asked sinfully, rubbing the tip of his cock against Naruto’s pucker. His muscles twitched at the sudden contact.

“Yes. _God_ yes…”

The cock ring felt almost painfully tight, causing Naruto to curl his toes. He couldn’t move his hands, couldn’t move his legs… He was totally prostrate before Sasuke.

“First…”

Naruto sighed as Sasuke parted from Naruto, already longing for the feel of his flesh. He felt cold metal drag down his chest, then down his abs. They were metal beaded chains, Naruto assessed, likely chilled in the freezer. They strayed farther, down to his cock, which was more sensitive than it had ever felt in his life.

Sasuke softly hit them against Naruto’s engorged length. Naruto didn’t bother to tone down the moan that left his mouth at the extreme contrast of the cold.

“Fuck…” Naruto said, trying to free his hand. “Sasuke, _please…_ ”

He couldn’t handle this teasing anymore; it was an agony of its own. Sasuke forced Naruto’s legs apart, sucking hard at the skin on his inner thigh. Against his sensitive flesh, Naruto could feel the slightest bit of stubble on Sasuke’s chin.

Naruto felt a soft, lubed bulb against his ass.

“It’s a plug,” Sasuke said. “It’ll get you ready for me.”

Naruto curled his toes as Sasuke edged his finger up Naruto’s pucker, squirming it inside to stretch Naruto out. The bulb was large, but not overwhelmingly so. Sasuke was quickly able to place it in, leaving Naruto feeling both constrained and filled. He enjoyed both feelings thoroughly.

“So good…” Naruto whimpered.

All of this bliss, and Sasuke had hardly even touched him yet. The man was a constant mystery to him.

Naruto felt the cold metal that had fluttered over Naruto’s sex… Suddenly, there was a small piece of leather.

“Now, are you ready for the pain?”

He didn’t feel fear, didn’t feel anxiety… All he felt was a blood-rushing excitement, his resiliency built up from the toned down touches. He was impatient and desperate. He wanted action. Sasuke separated Naruto’s legs, rubbing his flogger down the flesh of Naruto’s thighs.

Sasuke parted with him for a moment, then swatting down. The pain wasn’t horrible, but it was enough to make him wince.

“Fuck…” Naruto whined.

“Did it feel good?”

Naruto’s cock now fought against his confines, ruddy and so, so eager for release.

“Yes. Again…”

Sasuke swatted him again, resulting in a loud smacking sound.

“Harder!”

Sasuke brought down the flogger hard on Naruto’s thigh; he knew he’d have welts. He wanted them there. With each impact, he felt his cock grow harder, felt it demand its freedom. With every bit of pain, Naruto found equal amounts of liquid hot adrenaline.

“Sasu…” Naruto breathed out. “Sasu… _Please…_ ”

“You look so beautiful, Naru…” he breathed out. “And so desperate.”

Naruto moaned as Sasuke worshipped his body.

“Such nice marks I’ve left behind, too,” Sasuke said, almost apologetically rubbing his fingers around the angry marks on Naruto’s thighs.

“Sasu… Sasu… I… Green? _Please_. I…” Naruto stammered, words failing him.

Sasuke tugged Naruto up by the chain spanning his nipples, causing him to shudder and let out a wanton cry. Sasuke’s teeth clashed against Naruto’s as their tongues vied with each other.

“First, I want you to see how beautiful you look right now.”

Sasuke cradled Naruto’s head in his left hand and then moved the fabric over Naruto’s left eye. The room seemed almost blindingly bright, and everything was spinning. Sasuke gently inclined Naruto’s head up so that he could see down to his cock.

Naruto couldn’t help but emit a dirty moan as he saw himself. His inner thighs were covered in angry red marks and a few welts, his cock big and plump from the ring that surrounded it. He loved the sight of his adorned body, the chain over his chest, how hard his nipples were made by the clamps, and the plug in his ass. He felt so sinful, so raw, and so owned by the lethally gorgeous man that lay next to him.

“Please, take off my blindfold, Sasuke. I wanna see you.”

“Alright.”

Sasuke lifted Naruto’s blindfold off, and Naruto winced at the aggressive brightness of the room. Sasuke’s shirt was off, his jeans unzipped. He looked entirely composed, which did nothing but piss Naruto off. Yet the lust in his eyes was so strong as Sasuke sucked his lip piercing.

Naruto stared directly into Sasuke’s eyes, knowing no intimidation or moderation.

“Fuck me and don’t hold back. Plow into me. Destroy me.”

Naruto hadn’t felt Sasuke move, but suddenly his ankles had been loosened. He bent his knees in and out a few times, enjoying his broadened range of motion. Sasuke lifted them up on his shoulders, dragging himself up so that his pelvis was in line with Naruto’s ass.

With a plop, he removed the plug from Naruto’s ass, his hole twitching, demanding to be filled. Sasuke neatly fit three of his fingers in, bobbing them in and out. Naruto lifted his legs up, resting his shins on Sasuke’s shoulders. Their eyes met, and Sasuke held Naruto’s eye contact as he rubbed the tip of his cock and the metal of his piercing over Naruto’s entrance.

Naruto couldn’t think, torn apart by this moment of anticipation. He wanted it worse than he could say, his mental soundtrack a frenzied compilation of “oh god”s.  He bit down on his lip so hard it was likely to bleed.

The smallest, most wicked little smile emerged on Sasuke’s lips. Naruto read Sasuke completely, giving him a quick nod.

In hardly an instant, Sasuke had rammed himself into Naruto so hard that Naruto’s back slammed against the headboard. One of Sasuke’s legs rest off of the bed, his foot making contact with the floor and using it for force, each one of Sasuke’s thrusts hammering to the back of Naruto.

Naruto screamed, growled, moaned… It was downright animalistic, and he’d lost all control of himself. Every muscle in his arms was fully flexed as he fought his restraints. The bedposts thudded down against Sasuke’s floor with each thrust, the sound accompanied by Sasuke’s grunts.

“Fuck…” Sasuke swore.

The sound of their skin clapping together so lewdly filled Sasuke’s apartment. The pleasure that Naruto felt was insurmountable, almost too extreme to even be real. Yet despite all of this, he’d still managed not to cum yet.

“Keep going…” Naruto encouraged.

Sasuke was beginning to pant, his chest and face getting sweaty as he put his all into owning every last bit of Naruto. The neat composure evidenced in Sasuke’s face had been replaced by hectic desire. Sasuke reached down with frenzied fingers, grabbing for the flesh of Naruto’s thigh, just something to hold onto.

What Sasuke had said about the cock ring was right. It was making him last, making him enter into a realm of pleasure he’d previously never explored. It felt almost too overwhelming for his mind to even contain, Sasuke pounding against his prostate.

He opened his eyes, only to realize he’d had them clamped shut. He took in Sasuke’s face, his lidded eyes, the muscles of his chest, his slender and long neck, the brilliant blue, purple, and green ink on his arm.

“God, I’m…” Naruto said, his lower lip quivering.

With each time Sasuke’s cock hammered his prostate, Naruto felt him become closer, bit by bit.

“I can’t hold out much longer,” Naruto said. “Cum inside me, Sasu.”

Sasuke’s breath was raspy as he pounded into Naruto several more times, wantonly looking Naruto over from top to bottom.

“I’m gonna cum…” Sasuke warned.

Finally, Sasuke let out a grunt as he unleashed inside of Naruto. Naruto felt all of Sasuke’s spunk in him, wet and dripping out onto the bed. He looked down at himself, tied and adorned, then back at Sasuke. Sasuke dragged his nails down Naruto’s side as hard as he could, leaving the slightest trail of blood behind.

It was as though Sasuke had read Naruto’s body; he knew what it needed before even Naruto did. The pain galvanized him into what Naruto knew was the most explosive orgasm of his life. It was blinding, white hot, and enraptured every last ounce of his consciousness. He unloaded all over himself, finally finding relief.

His entire body hummed with pleasure, warm and soft. Sasuke freed Naruto’s arms, and Naruto wrapped them around Sasuke’s back, mewling as he played with the soft hair on the nape of Sasuke’s neck. Sasuke loosened the clasps around Naruto’s nipples, the jewelry falling down onto the sheets.

Sasuke wrapped his hand around Naruto, petting his neck and kissing his lips. He moved over ever so slightly.

“Here,” Sasuke said, offering Naruto a cup of water. “Drink.”

Naruto was thirstier than even he’d known, though he wasn’t sure how Sasuke had realized this. He picked up the drink and chugged, his throat dry.

“Sasuke, that was…” Naruto paused. “That was _amazing_.”

“I didn’t think you’d be able to take all that, honestly,” Sasuke said. “You did great.”

“You just about _killed_ me, fyi,” Naruto answered. “I’ve never been teased so badly in my life.”

“Given your reaction, I think it was worth it.”

“ _So_ worth it,” Naruto said, still filled with the post-orgasm fuzzies. He nuzzled his head against Sasuke’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Looks like we have a lot of exploring to do,” Sasuke muttered.

Naruto chuckled under his breath.

“Oh yeah. For you, was this…”

Naruto trailed off.

“Was this still vanilla?”

Sasuke tilted his head.

“Are you asking in terms of everything I’ve ever done?”

“Yeah…” Naruto said. “I guess.”

“Hm… Three out of ten?”

Naruto didn’t know whether he felt insecure, nervous, or excited about this. It was the tip of the iceberg.

“But vanilla isn’t a bad thing. It was good,” Sasuke added, clearly reading him. “You were good. Very good.”

Perhaps the lingering pleasure of his orgasm had suppressed his pride; otherwise, Naruto told himself, he would’ve never blushed the way he just did. He baffled at how strong the aftermath was, as generally he’d have begun to snap out of it by now. Sasuke was right when he’d said that the cock ring would give him an orgasm that was “otherworldly.”

Or was that just what Sasuke did to him?

Not that Naruto was complaining. He moved closer to Sasuke, placing a lazy, bliss-filled kiss on his lips. They moved softly, Naruto fiddling with Sasuke’s hair, then his skin. Neither of them spoke as Naruto rested his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, gently trailing down his bicep, and then his forearm, rubbing the dense muscle there.

Sasuke was strong, and he had stamina to spare. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had fucked him so hard, and Sasuke never once lost his rhythm. While his muscles were smaller than his own, Naruto could see the definition every time Sasuke budged, causing the designs on his body to shift ever so slightly.

People might spend hours at the gym, just praying to one day get a body like Sasuke’s. Each muscle had its lines, and Sasuke’s six pack was nearly as pronounced as Naruto’s. It was perfect, Sasuke’s petite yet dense and savagely powerful muscles offering a nice contrast to Naruto’s bulk. Naruto wondered to himself for a moment what Sasuke’s gym routine looked like.

Sasuke had shaken off his pants, now bound only by his boxers. Naruto was still nude, cum splattered on his stomach and thighs as bits of Sasuke’s spunk leaked out of his ass. Now flaccid, Naruto easily slid off his cock ring.

“Just a minute,” Sasuke said, getting up and grabbing a tissue box for Naruto.

Naruto didn’t know if Sasuke noticed, but as Naruto saw his profile in the light of Sasuke’s bedroom, he noticed a small erection budding underneath Sasuke’s boxers.

He was hard again? Already?

He’d been right about Sasuke’s stamina. Naruto kept the observation to himself - just another card up his sleeve.

He was grateful when Sasuke turned away, allowing Naruto some privacy as he cleaned the vast majority of their pleasure’s aftermath. Without a shower, there was no way Naruto could be fully clean.

That was fine by him. He wasn’t done yet anyhow.

Sasuke wasn’t the only one who had nearly unmatchable stamina.

“Lie with me, Sasuke,” Naruto said.

“I was going to do that anyway,” Sasuke replied, lying down next to Naruto.

They were both on their sides, facing each other. With no warning, Naruto reached out and held Sasuke’s chin in his hand, rubbing his thumb over Sasuke’s lower lip. Instinctively, Sasuke bit his right lip stud and sucked on it, looking at Naruto like a child looks at a Christmas present that they’d been forbidden to touch.

Naruto kissed underneath Sasuke’s unmarked collarbone, sucking on the skin and pulling at it with his teeth.

“Can I mark you?” Naruto asked.

“Yeah…”

Naruto sucked at Sasuke’s flesh as best he could, a lewd plop resulting as his mouth parted from Sasuke’s chest. The mark sat just on top of some of the Latin script on Sasuke’s chest.

He loved the violent shade Sasuke’s skin turned when Naruto would mark him. It stood out so starkly from his milky skin. Naruto absentmindedly looked at the way the elegant lines of Sasuke’s pure black text broke up the reddish purple of the hickey. Naruto tugged on Sasuke’s left nipple piercing, causing him to let out a soft hum, the corners of his lips just barely rising up.

“How are you going to hide that one?” Naruto asked.

“The weather’s been getting colder anyway.”

Sasuke twisted Naruto on his back, naturally leaning over the other.

As virile as Sasuke was, as dangerous and mysterious, Naruto was met with a new urge.

He wanted Sasuke to feel the same way he just had.

Naruto forced himself up, leaning down on Sasuke and trying to fasten his left arm to the bed. Sasuke moved to jerk his hand away, only for Naruto to hold it steadfast.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Just returning a favor,” Naruto stated simply.

“Are you?” Sasuke said with an amused smirk.

“Yeah, I am,” Naruto replied with a grin. “It’s my turn now.”

“If you want power over me, you’re going to have to fight me for it,” Sasuke said, jerking his arm away once.

Naruto held it put, only for Sasuke to use his entire body to give a second yank that took Naruto completely by surprise. He hadn’t known that Sasuke was so strong, his lover now entirely freed.

Sasuke got up on his knees, and Naruto followed suit, their eyes locked on each others’, like dueling bucks circling around each other before their horns locked.

Naruto reached out for Sasuke and grabbed his shoulder, only for Sasuke hit Naruto on the underside of his elbow. Precise impact to the pressure point on Naruto’s elbow caused the entire joint to give. Sasuke then forced his weight on top of Naruto, forcing his back against the bed with Sasuke victoriously smirking above him.

Naruto channeled all of his strength into his abs, sitting his body up. He threaded his arm between the two of them so that the back of his arm faced Sasuke. Using his shoulder muscles and triceps, he shoved Sasuke to the side. The only sound in the room was their grunts as they attempted to outmaneuver each other, the room still so strongly smelling of sex.

Sasuke was off-balance now - vulnerable. Naruto slammed the full weight of his upper body upon Sasuke, again pushing him back against the bed and straddling him before Sasuke could move. Sasuke grit his teeth, his eyes darting from one place to the next.

Sasuke’s eyes paused, and he grinned, fastening his hands into each sides of Naruto’s hair and forcing him down on top of Sasuke, kissing him deeply. Finally, he had Sasuke exactly where he wanted him. The thought caused his blood to rush south, his erection returning.

Sasuke bit into Naruto’s lip. Hard. Just as Naruto flinched from the shock, Sasuke rolled out from under him and yanked Naruto down by his arm. Sasuke slid his legs out and tried to force Naruto down, only for Naruto to rebound immediately.

Both of them were panting, the skin on their faces, necks, and chests flushed.

Why the _hell_ was he so stubborn?

Enough. Time to take matters into his own hands.

The look of confusion on Sasuke’s face couldn’t be missed as Naruto left the bed completely, walking around over to Sasuke’s side of the bed. Not wasting a second, Naruto yanked Sasuke out of bed so that he was fully airborne.

 _“Shit!”_ Sasuke shouted out.

Never before had Naruto see such a look of shock on Sasuke’s face, his eyes wide and his arm flailing outward. When gravity took Sasuke back down, Naruto cradling Sasuke like a child, bearing his entire weight in his arms.

Sasuke looked absolutely _livid_.

When it came to pure power, Sasuke could never surpass him.

“What the _hell_ are you…”

Naruto slammed Sasuke into the wall, Sasuke’s body making a blunt thud. Supporting Sasuke’s thighs with his arms, Naruto kissed him with the desperation of a dying man gasping for his final breaths.

Again, Sasuke bit his lip. Grinning at the taste of blood, Naruto’s mouth parted from Sasuke’s.

“You know, there’s a word you can use to get out of this.”

Sasuke’s eyes gleamed with venom.

“Fuck you, Naruto.”

So, Sasuke wanted it.

Of fucking course he did.

Naruto moaned as he kissed Sasuke, feeling up his stomach, tugging on his nipple piercing. Sasuke rested his arms on Naruto’s shoulders, his fingers toying with Naruto’s hair. Sasuke was obedient as Naruto removed his boxers, freeing his erect cock. Swooping his head down, Naruto sucked hard at the flesh between Sasuke’s neck and shoulder. Yet another reminder he’d leave with Sasuke for weeks.

Awkwardly and gingerly, Naruto leaned toward Sasuke’s bedstand and grasped the lube. It was just barely within reach. Naruto edged Sasuke’s right thigh farther up his arm, snaking his left arm around so that his lube-drenched fingertips traced Sasuke’s pucker. Naruto cleared a single digit past it, Sasuke’s entire body tensing in his arms.

“Ssshhh,” Naruto whispered.

Sasuke resituated himself to be more comfortable, his body giving around Naruto’s finger. Naruto began thrusting inside of him. One finger, two fingers…

“Yes…” Sasuke panted out. “Fuck…”

Even for a Marine, Naruto was strong. Sasuke’s weight didn’t bother him for an instant, though admittedly he was heavier than Naruto would have guessed. Muscle mass, Naruto assumed. Naruto was able to keep his pace consistent, and without much time at all Sasuke was taking three of his fingers.

“Enough fucking around, Naruto.”

“What do you want then, love?” Naruto teased.

“Fuck me like I fucked you,” Sasuke whispered in Naruto’s ear, biting his lobe and giving it a rough tug before he spoke again. “Destroy me like I destroyed you.”

“All you had to do was ask.”

And with not another word, Naruto slipped his fingers out from inside of Sasuke. He aligned his cock with Sasuke’s ass, then let the weight of Sasuke’s body do the work as their bodies collided.

“Fuck!” Sasuke cried out.

Naruto used his hips and arms to pick Sasuke up with each time Naruto moved his ass back, Sasuke’s weight coming down yet again as Naruto thrusted his hips forward.

Sasuke smacked Naruto’s head.

“Angle!” was all he managed to get out. “To the left...”

Naruto repositioned himself slightly, holding Sasuke’s body up. Sasuke rested his hand on the bulge of Naruto’s flexed bicep. He gave an experimental thrust, keeping Sasuke’s body elevated.

“Yeah… That’s it.”

Naruto brought Sasuke down on top of him yet again, but this time a loud moan ripped out of Sasuke’s mouth.

“Yes! Harder!”

Naruto growled in approval, like a lion stalking a gazelle. Sasuke wrapped his legs around Naruto’s waist, his ankles crossing around Naruto’s back. Sasuke’s cock bounced between the two of them as Naruto slammed every last centimeter of his manhood into Sasuke’s body. With every thrust, the walls vibrated, Sasuke’s picture frames rattling against the wall so dramatically that they looked nearly ready to fall.

Sasuke reached around, and Naruto felt Sasuke’s nails on his back for just a moment before Sasuke hitched, remembering the ink he’d left there so recently. He reached down and clawed his fingers into Naruto’s ass, sending bright red scratches across it, lightly speckled with blood.

“Fuck, Sasu… You’re so…”

Naruto didn’t bother to finish his sentence, plowing into Sasuke yet again. Four loud and rhythmic thudding sounds from the floor below told them that Sasuke’s neighbors were nowhere near as happy about their mind-blowing lovemaking as they were.

“Your neighbors…” Naruto panted. “I can stop if-”

Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s hair and forced his tongue into his mouth, both of them melting into their kiss as Naruto’s pace only quickened.

“Stop and I’ll fucking _kill_ you,” Sasuke snarled.

Exactly what Naruto had hoped to hear.

“Then hang on tight.”

Like a runner with the finish line in sight and the competition just a pace behind, Naruto threw everything he had into his body’s movements, hammering into Sasuke’s most hidden spots. Sasuke moaned, almost shouted; never in _any_ context had Naruto heard Sasuke be so loud.

Yet Naruto was even louder.

It was rough and raw, animalistic, snarls, grunts, and sinful moans entangling around each other and filling the room like a tidal wave fills a dinky fishing boat. His mind had room for nothing else but Sasuke. His eyes so longingly took in the crinkle in the corner of Sasuke’s eyes, the upturn of the edges of his mouth as he was owned by ecstasy. The hard bud of his nipples, his stiff cock, the definition of his thigh muscles as he wrapped his legs around Naruto’s waist.

“Sasuke, I…” Naruto said. “I’m… I can’t last for much longer.”

“Nngh,” Sasuke grunted with displeasure.

“I’m sorry, I…”

“Shut up,” Sasuke said, kissing Naruto.

Sasuke reached down and feverishly pumped his cock, giving the piercing on the head of his cock a sharp tug. Naruto’s pace met Sasuke’s, Naruto using every ounce of his mind and body’s power to stave off his orgasm. Sasuke hissed as he sharply inhaled.

“Okay…” Sasuke said. “Let go now.”

Finally, Naruto unleashed himself inside of Sasuke, Sasuke not stopping his movements for a moment. Another spurt, almost as strong, filled Sasuke, cum dripping down the wall. His arms trembled, but with steely concentration he kept Sasuke up.

“Nngh,” Sasuke murmured softly, grabbing Naruto’s shoulder tightly.

Sasuke unleashed over both of their chests and stomachs, a third wave coming out of Naruto. Naruto was shocked, given how strong his first orgasm had been, that he had this in him. Naruto was dry now, but Sasuke released a second time, cum oozing around his piercing.

Naruto took care to memorize the way Sasuke looked now - flushed, unkempt, blissed out, and utterly unravelled.

Sasuke’s body trembled as he unleashed his last time, and Naruto gently lay him on the bed. Sasuke looked so uncharacteristically vulnerable underneath him, his eyes clamped shut and left hand grabbing his right bicep and kneading the flesh there. He’d cum, but the fever hadn’t left his body.

The left half of his hair now had the slightest curl to it, a few blue strands off to the side of the bed. Sasuke licked his dry lips. Naruto sat next to Sasuke on the bed, dipping his finger in the drinking water and pressing a droplet of it to Sasuke’s lips. Sasuke’s eyes opened, and he grabbed the glass in Naruto’s hand and downed the remainder of the water.

He set the glass down and looked back at Naruto with gentle eyes. His brows knit together, and he extended his hand out to Naruto. Naruto lay beside him, kissing Sasuke’s shoulder on top of one of the phoenix’s feathers, its orange-ish yellow hue reminding him of a setting sun - satisfied and complete.

“Sasuke… You were amazing.”

Sasuke lay on his back, his eyes surveying the ceiling but settling into Naruto’s gaze.

“You weren’t half bad yourself.”

Naruto grinned.

“Bastard…”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“It kinda looks like we had a cum-filled water balloon fight in here, doesn’t it?”

“Sexy,” Sasuke quipped. “I just washed the sheets yesterday.”

“That was your own mistake. You knew I was visiting,” Naruto grinned. “Your neighbor is gonna be _pissed_.”

“I could not give less of a shit right now.”

“Such a rebel,” Naruto said with a smile, bending over Sasuke and planting a lazy kiss on his lips, which Sasuke gladly reciprocated.

Sasuke looked at Naruto with a smile like a summer morning’s dew drops - delicate and fleeting. Despite the fact that Naruto had just fucked Sasuke’s brains out, it made his heart beat quickly and his pupils dilate.

 _This is it_ , Naruto thought himself so clearly that he could hear it in his own voice. _This is love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it. I tried to do it in one sitting, but no dice.
> 
> By the way, if this is too kinky for you... Not all of the sex scenes will be kinky, but we are also just on the tip of the kinky iceberg here.
> 
> Btw, everyone's comments are giving me strength! Such a pick me up when I'm in the dumps, and y'all are so thoughtful and insightful. <3


	17. Counting Sheep

Just as always, the counter was swarmed with patrons. Kiba manned the cash register like a pro, shouting out orders to Naruto as he prepped drink after drink.

As Naruto cleaned out the espresso machine, he couldn’t help but think that this would be his last time doing this for a long while. Perhaps ever.

“Hey! Tall latte, ‘ya hear me?” Kiba shouted in his Brooklyn drawl.

 “Why are you up front, anyway?” Naruto yelled back, knowing that the customers could hear him. “You need my gorgeous mug up front. You’re making our tip jar sad.”

A few of the patrons chuckled.

“Don’t let him bother you,” a young woman in professional garb said. “You’re not bad yourself.”

“Hah! Hear that?”

As Naruto waited for frothy cream to pour out of his machine, he turned to the woman with a pout.

“Come on, don’t you know good taste?” Naruto asked her playfully.

“I’d go to town on both of you if my lunch break weren’t so short.”

Naruto and Kiba shot each other wide-eyed looks, then burst into laughter.

“Oh, I like this one!” Kiba said.

“One small coffee,” a man in line requested from Kiba, who abruptly rang it up.

“Isn’t that against company policy?” Naruto jested.

“I live to spite company policy,” the woman said with a smirk.

Naruto finished the cappuccino and now moved on to the mild gentleman’s small coffee.

“Don’t we all?” Naruto grinned, his hands not stopping for an instant.

Another customer arrived at the front of the line.

“Hey, Naruto. Cappuccino, grande.”

“On it!”

The woman was lost to the long line of customers behind her. Naruto’s shift seemed to stretch on infinitely, patron after patron with their own orders, wearing everything from business suits to dresses to sweat suits two sizes too large. Each voice had its own tone, each face its own expression. Some cheerful, some angry, some lethargic.

Yet Naruto made sure his tone didn’t waver. He carried a constant smile, which he wore until the end of his shift. Kiba had made sure that their shifts would end at the same time, as Kiba was to help Naruto move his belongings into storage afterward. Naruto was eternally grateful for his help in all the boring logistics the day would bring.

Naruto said goodbye to his co-workers and boss through a series of one-armed hugs and waves. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever work at Mugs again. Who knew if they’d still need help when he got back? He tried to ignore the nagging thought in his mind that this could be his last time ever seeing them.

By the powers that be, Kiba’s mother had been kind enough to loan him her blue pickup truck. As Kiba and Naruto walked down the pristine street lined with cafe after cafe, a chilled wind blew, followed by sprinkling rain.

“Perfect,” Kiba remarked.

It was only enough to dampen their clothes. Yet it would be inconvenient, given that the two of them were just about to take all of Naruto’s possessions and fit them into this truck. Gratefully, Naruto had tarp at his house.

“I really appreciate this, Kiba,” Naruto said.

“Eh, of course. You always _are_ a pain in the ass, ya know,” Kiba teased.

Naruto grinned as they approached the car.  Naruto plunked himself into the shotgun seat, and Kiba turned the ignition and craned his head around his right shoulder. Provoking more than a few horns, he catapulted into traffic. Naruto jerked back in his seat, holding the bar by his window.

“Uh… Kiba?”

“What?” Kiba asked, tilting his head.

Kiba gained momentum as he hurdled toward a stop sign, slowing down for no longer than a second before plowing forward.

“What’s up with your driving?”

Kiba laughed, shaking his head.

“It’s been a while. I’m rusty.”

Naruto thanked the gods above that his apartment wasn’t very far away.

“Yeah. Can you be rusty at a slower pace?” Naruto asked, his left hand clasped around his seat and his right arm resting against the doorframe.

“What do ya mean?” Kiba answered as he swerved around a corner. “I’m driving the speed limit.”

Naruto frowned as Kiba mowed through three more blocks. They were now mere minutes from Naruto’s apartment – truly a marvel considering the traffic. Kiba vied with an eager taxi for a spot up front as the taxi’s lane merged into theirs. The taxi attempted to flank them, but with a quick yet surprisingly controlled dip into the neighboring lane, Kiba maintained his position in front of the taxi. The stocky taxi driver hammered down the horn and shook his fist out the window.

“Jesus, Kiba! You’re gonna get me killed before I even leave!” Naruto shouted.

“Hey, he was tryin’ to cut me off!” Kiba said as he raised his hand and flicked off the cab driver.

Naruto sighed, resting his hand in his head. As if the day weren’t stressful enough already.

“Eh…” Kiba said, looking at Naruto skeptically.

A few seconds of silence passed in the car as they cleared another block.

“Alright, alright.”

Kiba came to a full stop at the red light. They sat there comfortably together until the light turned green, the taxi from before slamming on its gas and swerving in front of Kiba, forcing him to tap the brake.

“Asshole…” Kiba mumbled with obvious self-restraint.

The rain hadn’t let up by the time they’d reached Naruto’s apartment. They were blessed to have found a space right by the curb.

“Alright. Let’s do it,” Naruto said, leaving himself no time to think.

He effortlessly ran up the three flights of stairs to his apartment, humming under his breath as Kiba followed close behind. Unlocking the door of his apartment, Naruto gestured to the back left corner.

“We’ll start with the heavy ones back there.”

The sight of his room, sparsely furnished and filled with columns of boxes, reminded Naruto of the day he first moved in. This had, by far, been the best place he’d ever lived in after he ran off to Manhattan with nothing more than a thirst for bright lights and city life. He remembered the tingling buzz of pride and anticipation years ago, the last time he saw this apartment unit empty.

Without further ado, Kiba grabbed one of the larger boxes and walked back toward the stairway. Naruto did the same. The made good pace as they made their way down the stairs, shoving the boxes to the back of the pickup truck and covering them with some blue tarp to protect his belongings from the rain.

They made another two rounds, Kiba beginning to pant while Naruto took the exertion with ease.

“You…” Kiba panted. “You have a lot of shit, ya know that?”

Kiba’s words hilted with each step up the stairway.

“Not really,” Naruto answered. “It just seems like it when you have to lug it up and down three stories.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

The rain was intensifying. Naruto was grateful that they’d prepared themselves with the tarp.

“You take the lighter ones, Kibs.”

“Hey, what are you trying to say?” Kiba bristled. “That you’re stronger than me?”

Naruto paused for a second, pointing his chin down towards Kiba as he raised his brows.

“Goddammit,” Kiba added, finally setting down his box as he reached the end of his stairs and panting. By the time Kiba was ready to climb up the stairs again, Naruto had put both of their boxes on the truck.

“You know,” Kiba said as they walked up the stairs next to each other. “I can move just fine. I run every week, ya know. You’re just…”

“Fast?” Naruto asked with a bright-eyed grin.

“Yeah. Jesus Christ.”

Naruto chuckled. He had to keep moving. Had to keep his mind occupied. He lifted box after box, always humming under his breath and never taking in how his familiar home more and more resembled a stranger.

Now only the odds and ends remained.

“Hey, Kiba, I just have one more run, okay? Make sure everything’s packed sturdy on the truck, and I’ll bring down the rest.”

“You got it.”

Naruto ran up the steps and attempted to gather everything in his arms. Only now did he notice another small pile of boxes, which were just large enough to warrant another trip. Naruto groaned, covering his head with his jacket hoodie as he carried the items down to the car. Naruto’s grey jacket was covered with damp spots of near black, left behind from the rain.

“One more,” Naruto said sheepishly.

“Take your time,” Kiba told him. “No rush.”

Naruto quickly made his way back in, taking the final pile of boxes, which set in his arms with no strain whatsoever. In his other hand, he took Ally. He recalled leaving Texas for this place of shining lights, his then unnamed Fender on his back as he left for brighter dreams. He remembered how pleased he was when Sasuke accepted Naruto's offer to leave the guitar with him. Maybe, Naruto wondered, Sasuke would even learn how to play. He made his way toward the door and looked back. This didn’t look like his home.

Because it wasn’t anymore.

It was a blank slate, but he did remember spilling coffee on the carpet one cold winter morning upon seeing the muted brown stain on the floor. He’d almost gotten rid of it. Almost.

He’d tried to store some of his posters in boxes. The place still smelled of his soap, just like the bags of clothing Naruto brought down to Kiba’s car smelled like the backs of the unit’s bedroom closet. Yet despite this, he felt so alien to these four walls as he took the last traces of his belongings. He had no home anymore - at least not in America.

The clothes he had on his body he’d wear at Sasuke’s place for their date. Then he’d leave for Afghanistan with naught but a polo, a pair of pants, and his camis. Everything else would be left behind, on the other side of the world.

Naruto heard slow and steady foot steps.

“Hey,” Kiba said from behind him.

“Hey.”

Naruto didn’t turn around.

“Are you…”

“Huh?” Naruto asked in a daze, only now facing his friend. “Oh, me? Yeah, I’m fine. Of course I am!”

Naruto grinned and shut the door behind him. He was glad Kiba was next to him. The resolute click of the lock as he removed the key didn’t have the sting it would’ve if he’d been alone.

“I’ll be back in a sec,” Naruto added.

With a deep inhale, Naruto walked over to the leasing office and left his keys in their deposit box. He quickly made his way down to the car, which had been rigged down expertly. Kiba had worked quickly.

“Not bad,” Naruto mused.

“I wasn’t kiddin’ when I said I’ve done a shitton of moves.”

Naruto and Kiba stood in front of the pickup, hoods covering both of their heads as the rain fell.

“Hana, she…”

Kiba stopped for a moment, biting his lip.

“She had so much goddamned stuff. I had to move her every summer with this truck, in and out of her dorm. Just when it felt like she couldn’t have any more crap, I’d come back next year and there would be even more.”

Naruto frowned and nodded. Naruto couldn’t even remember the last time he’d heard Kiba talk about his sister.

“Of course, the last summer was the worst, right after Hana graduated…”

The gloom in Kiba’s voice couldn’t be missed. Just months after that move, Kiba’s sister had been killed in the terrorist attack.

“Such a ridiculous amount of stuff…” Kiba trailed off, trying to force a laugh as he shook his head.

The thought had never occurred to Naruto that this could have well been Kiba’s first time moving since he’d helped his sister.

“You be careful, ya hear?” Kiba said to Naruto, swallowing hard. “I can’t lose another person to this bullshit.”

“You won’t,” Naruto beamed, his tone drenched in confidence. “It’s not that easy to get rid of me.”

Kiba issued a small half smile.

“I hope you’re right.”

* * *

Kiba let Naruto crash on his couch for the night. They drank together, watched some movies, and Kiba passed out around 6 pm. Kiba had two jobs: Mugs and a job stocking shelves, the latter of which had all sorts of hours. He was to arrive no later than 2 am and stay until noon.

They said their goodbyes at 1 in the morning, when Kiba woke up to get ready. They shared an awkward hug and cracked some jokes.

Naruto knew what Kiba was thinking. This could be the last time Kiba ever saw Naruto’s face, and vice versa. Kiba had been close to his sister, and his wounds were still raw.

Naruto wondered if this would be the last time he ever saw his friend. Their forced smiles and laughter seemed hollow and far too ephemeral. Kiba readied himself for his job, and when he was done, he told Naruto to have fun on his date with Sasuke and leave the key under the mat.

To any observer, it would appear as trivial as any other moment. Kiba turned to walk toward the door but stopped short.

“Hey…” Kiba muttered. “You know, it’s been a pretty cool few years with you. You’re a good friend.”

“Yeah,” Naruto answered, his smile much realer now. “You too.”

They paused, with Naruto standing next to Kiba and Kiba’s body half angled toward the door. He turned to look over at Naruto.

“I know… The first couple years, we weren’t… I mean, we were friends, but…”

Naruto put his hand up, motioning Kiba to stop. He knew exactly what Kiba was talking about. They hung out, went to parties, and had mutual friends. But when it came down to things like dreams, fears, the things that could keep you up at night and bring tears to your eyes… The majority of their friendship’s duration didn’t touch these things.

“I get it,” Naruto reassured him.

“Yeah. I mean now, we’re… I consider you a _really_ close friend. You were there for me when I needed you.”

Naruto smiled.

“Yeah. And same for you.”

“So, you know…” Kiba gestured with his hands in an effort to convey himself for a few seconds, only to give up. “You get it, right?”

Kiba scratched the hair behind his ear, tilting his head towards Naruto.

“Yes, Kiba. I get it,” Naruto answered. “I mean, we were friends before, but we just had fun and never got that deep. And now we have. You’re an important person to me.”

“Yeah. What you just said,” Kiba said, looking relieved. “I’m not gonna forget about you while you’re gone. I’ll be waitin’ on your ass the whole time. Probably about to shit myself with worry at some points, but waiting. And I’ll be here when you come back.”

“Thanks, Kibs,” Naruto said, smiling. “I’ll call ya, from time to time. In case you miss the sweet sound of my voice.”

“Don’t make me barf.”

Naruto snickered before adding, “But I’m gonna miss you too.”

They exchanged a smile, their eyes locked. Then Kiba cleared his throat, turning toward the door.

“Anyhow, I gotta get in before my boss has an aneurysm. See you later, huh?”

Naruto appreciated Kiba’s choice in words. They sounded much less final.

“Yeah,” Naruto replied. “See ya later.”

With one last smile, Kiba shut the door.

After Kiba left, Naruto spent the next two hours trying to drift off to sleep, tossing and turning on Kiba’s red couch. There was something strange about being at Kiba’s house alone, and without his friend’s presence, he felt uneasy.

He resorted to counting sheep, but somewhere after that eleventh ewe, he began to think about how it was technically Thursday morning, and in just over 24 hours he’d be leaving his home and friends for war-ridden combat zones on the other side of the planet.

He felt equal amounts prepared and unprepared. He’d gone through his training and was at the top of his class. It was rigorous and everything people imagine when they hear the word “bootcamp.” They went over so many scenarios that his head spun, teaching him what to do in that split second you have to make a monumental decision.

But that was theory. That was not war. People’s lives weren’t on the line. He wasn’t in a position where he’d have to decide in a single instant whether to not to spare someone’s life, even if sparing that life meant putting other troops at risk. It was impossible to analyze every possible scenario.

And then he thought about that time one of his foster families had forced him to go on a hunting trip, and the way his heart sunk when he saw that deer fall with a sound like a sack of potatoes hitting the ground. The pictures in the news of dark-skinned children missing limbs, and the inanimate paper targets he stared down as he squeezed the trigger of his AK-47 at basic.

It was four in the morning now, and at last giving up on any semblance of a decent night’s sleep, he turned to his phone.

“r u awake?”

Yes, Sasuke always used perfect grammar in his texts, but goddammit it, he was tired and not in the state to give a shit about things like that. He just wanted to talk to Sasuke. Sasuke also had a nicer phone with a physical keyboard, so the comparison was hardly fair.

He lay on his back and deleted old texts as slowly as he could for the full three minutes that passed until Sasuke responded.

“Yeah”

Without his permission, a wide smile formed on his face.

“wow. its almost like ur an insomniac.”

Only a few seconds passed this time.

“You’re a slow learner.”

“Dick,” Naruto muttered aloud, only to text the same.

“Can’t sleep?”

“nope. tried for hours. i give up.”

“Same. Counted to 2 thousand and am now staring at the ceiling bored out of my skull.”

Naruto paused for a moment, wanting so badly to text the words he was thinking but wondering if it was poor judgment.

“im also bored” Naruto settled on.

Ugh!

“i know we arent supposed to see each other til later but…”

There. He’d brought it to the table, though as vaguely as possible to provide Sasuke an easy exit.

After all, he didn’t want to sound weird or obsessive, asking to hang out with Sasuke at five in the morning. He was already worried about pushing Sasuke away by crowding him too much.

“But what?”

Naruto could imagine the look of mock ignorance on Sasuke’s face so clearly right now, and it made him want to slap him.

“u know what. but im trying not to crowd u.”

“Just get over here, dumbass.”

Even in his privacy, Naruto was embarrassed by the faint squeal that emerged from his mouth.

Naruto threw on the outfit he’d brought with him for his date with Sasuke within mere seconds; it was already folded right next to the couch. He also carried his suitcase, with his camis inside, and Ally. He’d brought tightly fitting blue jeans, a tank top, and a ripped and long-sleeved flannel shirt, going for a slightly punk-ish flair with a dose of grunge.

He knew that he’d missed his chance to put this outfit in storage and that he couldn’t take it with him. He supposed that he should have worn clothes he didn’t care about losing, but he didn’t want Sasuke’s most recent memory of him being him wearing an oversized sweat suit.

He wanted to look good, even if he lost the outfit in the process. Sasuke could give it to one of his friends, since it was clearly too big for Sasuke’s lean frame.

Maybe it was sadistic, in a sense. He didn’t want Sasuke to hurt, but he still wanted Sasuke to miss him. He wanted Sasuke to be reminded of him in all sorts of situations, sexual and nonsexual alike.

Naruto had never met anyone before who carried such an air of effortless invincibility. The idea of Sasuke hurting from his, or really anyone’s, absence was difficult for him to imagine. But when Naruto recalled the smile on Sasuke’s face the last time they made love, it seemed possible. If Naruto were to continue that porcupine analogy that Sasuke was so thrilled about, it was a moment where Naruto saw some of Sasuke’s soft flesh around all of those quills.

And that’s what lead him to knock on Sasuke’s door at 5 in the morning, dressed to impress.

Sasuke opened the door, and Naruto’s face lit up at the sight of him. Sasuke had dark circles under his eyes, the lights of his place on. He was wearing naught but a black tank top and red pajama pants, which made Naruto feel silly in his well-prepared outfit. Yet despite it all, Sasuke still looked like he was ready to model for a magazine, give or take some foundation under his eyes. Disgusting.

Sasuke motioned Naruto in.

“Heh, I’m glad to see you,” Naruto said with a smile, walking into Sasuke’s penthouse and sitting himself down on the couch. He placed his guitar right at his side.

“You look tired,” Sasuke said.

“So do you.”

Sasuke walked over to the couch and plunked down next to Naruto.

“Touche.”

Naruto leaned against Sasuke, resting his head on Sasuke’s shoulder.

“Dammiiit, it’s so frustrating. I’m so. Tired. But I can’t fall asleep.”

“Welcome to my world,” Sasuke said, leaning his head back on the top of the sofa and staring up at the ceiling.

“I didn’t expect you to be so tired. I kinda pictured that you’d be all restless when you can’t sleep. Like drawing and pacing around and shit.”

“Sometimes I’m restless,” Sasuke said. “Other times I just stare at the ceiling for hours in a state of total exhaustion and try not to pay attention to the clock.”

“Ugggh,” Naruto groaned sleepily. “That sounds horrible.”

Sasuke shrugged.

“How was the move?”

“If you can call it that, heh,” Naruto said, smiling awkwardly. “It was fine. I was on Kiba’s couch tonight. He offered it to me tomorrow too.”

Naruto had kept that last sentence vague intentionally. Earlier, Sasuke had offered Naruto to spend the night, but Naruto had done his best not to be pushy.

“Did you accept it?” Sasuke asked.

“No.”

“Good,” Sasuke replied with a tiny smile.

They leaned against each other on the couch in silence for almost a solid minute. Naruto enjoyed Sasuke’s warmth, his scent, and he inhaled, knowing that he’d be missing this for a while. He was also just genuinely tired, in so many senses of the world. They gradually slumped deeper into each other.

“Want to lie down for a bit?” Sasuke inquired.

“Yeah. That sounds nice.”

As tired as the two of them were, they both sat on the couch for a few seconds until Sasuke finally lifted himself up, offering his hand to Naruto as he hoisted him off of the couch. Naruto tried not to gasp at Sasuke’s strength, even in Sasuke’s exhausted state.

Entering his bedroom, Sasuke lifted up the covers and lay down in bed. Naruto followed, plumping himself down.

“You look uncomfortable. At least take off your shoes.”

“Mnnn, but I’m tired,” Naruto groaned.

“I’m not gonna undress you.”

“Give it a few hours,” Naruto chuckled. “You’ll be singing a different tune.”

As Sasuke rolled his eyes, Naruto took off his shoes and socks, then his shirt and jeans, leaving him in only his boxers.

Sasuke had given him permission, after all. And he liked feeling Sasuke’s body against his without barrier. Sasuke didn’t take his eyes off of Naruto while he changed.

“Heh, like what you see?” Naruto grinned.

“Idiot.”

A few seconds lapsed between them, with Sasuke’s eyes trailing to Naruto’s back.

“Ah…” Naruto said, craning his head over his shoulder to look at his back. As much as he loved the tattoo and its location, it was ironic that he was the only person who had to look at it in a mirror to see the whole thing. “You almost finished it up! It looks complete to anyone who didn’t see the original design, though. You did a good job.”

Sasuke had put his foot down at a point. He didn’t want Naruto leaving with a tattoo so fresh. Even the current situation was much less than ideal, Sasuke told him.

“Mhm,” Sasuke mumbled.

Naruto joined Sasuke beneath the covers, snuggling up next to him.

“Hey, Sasuke…”

“Yeah?”

“Is there any reason why you can’t sleep?”

“Yes. It’s called insomnia.”

“You know what I mean, smartass,” Naruto answered, flicking the back of Sasuke’s head.

“Mn. Falling asleep is just...really difficult. And even when I sleep, I wake up randomly and can’t fall back to sleep.”

Naruto rested his head on Sasuke’s chest. He could hear Sasuke’s breath, his heart. It reassured him.

“So like… Is it because you’re thinking of a lot of things?”

“Sometimes, sometimes not,” Sasuke said simply. “Is that why you couldn’t sleep tonight?”

“Me? Heh…” Naruto began, trying to smile so that Sasuke could hear it in his words. “Yeah.”

“Mn,” Sasuke merely muttered back, draping his colorful arm over Naruto. “Wanna talk about it?”

“That’s really nice of you. But who needs someone showin’ up at 5 am at their place spouting depressing shit?” Naruto asked, forcing some laughter into his tone. “Am I right?”

Sasuke let out a long sigh.

“Naruto, do I seem like the sort of person who would ask a question that I don’t want to hear the answer to?”

Naruto frowned.

“That space between my ears…” Naruto trailed off. “It’s been a rough neighborhood lately.”

Naruto wondered if he was making a mistake, if he was pushing Sasuke away. He felt his palms sweat as he spoke.

“I’m not surprised.”

Naruto nuzzled into Sasuke slower, his chest now pressed against Sasuke’s side.

“It’s just been… Whenever I stop moving, all these thoughts come and get me. And when I’m with people, it’s my chance to escape them. But as soon as I stop moving, they come back. And I can’t sleep.”

Was he being unwise? His exhaustion was blurring his boundaries, but once he started talking it felt so natural.

“Did you sleep at all tonight?”

Naruto chuckled under his breath.

“Yeah. I got a good three hours, so I have no right to complain to you.”

“Do you ever stop dismissing yourself?” Sasuke grumbled. “You act like if your situation isn’t terrible in every possible aspect, you have no right to feel shitty about it.”

“Yeah, I guess…” Naruto mumbled. “Most of my life, I always worried I’d be the downer friend, ya know?”

Naruto paused for a moment.

“It’s just that… I had a lot of situations that most kids my age didn’t. And I guess you could say that I have a situation like that now. But I didn’t want to be… _that_ guy, you know? I wanted people to remember me as someone who made them happy.”

“Were _you_?” Sasuke asked.

“Was I what?”

“Happy.”

“Ah…” Naruto trailed off. “That’s a tough question. Sometimes?”

“How safely noncommittal,” Sasuke replied with a teasing smile.

“I guess,” Naruto conceded. “How about you?”

“Am I happy?” Sasuke repeated, mulling over his thoughts. “I don’t know. I’m satisfied.”

“You’re satisfied?” Naruto said, scrunching his brow. “That’s kind of a weird word to use. You sound like you’re taking a customer survey or something.”

Sasuke paused for a moment, sucking on his left lip piercing as he thought.

“The word ‘happy’ makes me think of laughter, smiling… It seems too bright. I love my job, and I’m damned good at it. I have everything I need, and most of the things I want. I’m fine,” Sasuke said in a level tone of voice, expressionlessly looking up at the ceiling.

“Hmmm…” Naruto said in playful suspicion.

“Oi, I didn’t invite you over so you could try to psychoanalyze me,” Sasuke answered in a tone that was still patient.

Naruto chuckled, taking that as a cue to give Sasuke some space.

“Am I happy… Yeah. I’m happy, and I was happy then too. But sometimes I was really, really sad and angry. Sometimes it felt like I was sadder and madder than everyone else, and they all looked so happy. If I told people about it… They wouldn’t get it, or they wouldn’t want to be around me anymore.”

“Is that why get so nervous when you tell me you’re sad?”

Naruto froze, feeling naked at Sasuke’s observation.

“No… I mean…” Naruto fumbled. “I don’t know. I’ve gone through a lot of shit, to be honest with you. But you’re the type of guy who would get it, as much as you could without being me. I can tell by the way you respond to stuff, like when I told you my parents died. You don’t walk on eggshells or look at me differently. You don’t even flinch. But it’s that last one…”

Naruto paused.

“I feel like I’m always on the edge of losing you. I know that this whole...whatever we have is already a big adjustment for you. You already had me sniveling around your apartment after I totally lost my shit in front of your shop that night. And you took me back to your place and made me jasmine tea, pretending like you weren’t going a hair out of your way for me.”

Naruto regretted what he’d said almost immediately after saying it, his stomach burning with discomfort.

“Naruto…” Sasuke answered. “First of all, I’m the one who triggered that. Even if that weren’t the case, you’re going through something that I can’t even begin to comprehend. This is one of the most difficult things you’ve gone through your entire life. I at least understand that much.”

Sasuke’s kindness soothed him. It felt so difficult to imagine the man that lay next to him belittling him for crying about this very same thing, but the memory remained painfully crisp in his mind. That face, full of disgust and impatience...

The man was wrapped in inconsistencies. He felt as though he was entering a dark cave, hoping that there was light somewhere at the end of it. But he’d already become lost in Sasuke, and it was too late to turn back. And even if he could, he never wanted to.

“I just… When I’m gone, I’m worried that you’ll just feel… Relief. Like some burden was taken from you.”

Then the worst possible reaction, in Naruto’s mind: silence.

A few seconds passed, which seemed like minutes to Naruto. Sasuke shifted, leaning his head down so that their eyes met.

“Naruto, there’s not a hell of a lot I can do for you in your situation. The least I can do is be real with you so that you’re crystal clear on this. You’re here because I want you here. I ask you how you feel because I’m _worried_ about you.”

Naruto swallowed tightly, hardly able to hold Sasuke’s eye contact.

“And that look on your face, when you’re _genuinely_ happy… It makes me feel things that I didn’t know I could feel. So think of it as my selfishness. The fact that I’m not going to be seeing that look for a long time brings some complicated emotions, but relief is not one of them.”

Naruto felt a strong warmth, radiating from his core outward. It was similar to the buzz of alcohol, but it carried a happiness much deeper.

Yet still, there was a chill in his bones. He didn’t want to be separated from Sasuke, and he didn’t want Sasuke to hurt.

“What complicated emotions?” Naruto asked.

“I don’t even know,” Sasuke murmured, sounding frustrated with himself. “Figuring that out is like trying to make order of a huge box of tangled holiday lights. But I don’t like them.”

“That’s kind of how I feel too,” Naruto replied. “Jumbled. Conflicted. I wanted you to think I’m being strong and brave about this. Not this… Pathetic, whiny excuse for a Marine.”

“You _are_ strong and brave, and you have such integrity. It must make you an amazing Marine,” Sasuke said. “But you’re also human.”

Naruto nodded slightly, hiding his misting eyes.

“And no, Naruto. You are not and never will be ‘the downer friend.’ Quite the opposite.”

Naruto nodded quietly, resting one of his hands on Sasuke’s chest. Sasuke’s words made him feel safer, bolder...

“God, Sasuke, it’s just… I know what I have to do, and I _know_ that I’m going to do it. I just can’t imagine how. When I was a kid, I went on a hunting trip. My foster brother shot a deer, and my dad thought it’d ‘make me a man’ to watch it die. I was thirteen years old, and I cried. People bullied me about that for years. So if I can’t even do that, how can I…”

Sasuke’s large hand draped over the side and back of Naruto’s head, his thumb wandering through Naruto’s hair.

“I just...don’t want to make the decisions I know I’ll have to make. Hell, at Mugs, sometimes people ask me what drink I think they should buy. I hesitate sometimes, but then I think, hey, worst case scenario, some yuppie doesn’t like their drink. This is life or death, and I have only a split second to choose.”

It seemed as though his psyche was trying to make up for all the silence Naruto had imposed on it over the past two weeks. Once Naruto began talking, he found it difficult to stop. Sasuke’s slow and deep breathing calmed him as he spoke, his fingers leisurely coursing through this hair.

“You think so much of others,” Sasuke noted.

“How could I not, given the circumstance? But I do think of myself too. I lived a good life. If I die… Then I die. But I’m going to miss my home and my friends. I’m going to miss you.”

Naruto paused, appreciating the silence of the room, disrupted only by their breathing. Naruto laughed, and it was some mixture of bitter and sheepish.

“Sometimes I daydream about disappearing until the war ends. Isn’t that pathetic?”

“No,” Sasuke answered. “I wouldn’t go in the first place, and if I did, I’d daydream about that too. But you’re going, regardless.”

Naruto nodded.

“You wouldn’t go, because you don’t think we should be fighting this war anyway.”

The words felt like bile leaving his mouth.

“That’s true,” Sasuke replied simply.

A few seconds were lost to silence, and the corners of Naruto’s lips sank.

“When I picked my profession, only Shikamaru had faith in me. Everyone else said that I was wrong, and that I would fail, but I did it anyway. Without conviction, I would have never made it. You have that conviction, Naruto.”

“It doesn’t feel like it, sometimes,” Naruto muttered.

“There’s something deep in your core that’s intrinsically...good. Something that I don’t have. This war is destructive and ugly, but you’re going to help people.”

Naruto nuzzled his head into the crook of Sasuke’s neck, wanting to bury himself in Sasuke. Sasuke rolled over, placing his arm around Naruto so that he held Naruto’s entire frame, his face pressed to Sasuke’s chest.

“What if I mess up?” Naruto asked in a small voice.

“Then you’ve done the best you can. That’s all you can ask of yourself.”

Naruto found the warmth of Sasuke’s body more comforting than he could have ever imagined. His eyes closed for several seconds, and Naruto forced them back open.

“Sasuke…” Naruto began, losing a couple seconds as he sought to phrase his next words correctly. “You said I’m intrinsically good, but you keep saying you’re not. Why?”

“Mn…” Sasuke murmured resting his palm on the back of Naruto’s head and rubbing gently at his scalp. “A good person wouldn’t feel the way I feel about having done the things I’ve done. A good person would care about things that I don’t give a damn about.”

“What did you do?”

Naruto felt Sasuke’s breath hitch against him.

“I did what was fair.”

While Sasuke’s arms were still wrapped around Naruto, he could feel Sasuke retreating from him.

“Sasu… I know you have problems, but I want you to know that you’re the kindest person I’ve ever dated.”

Sasuke smirked.

“Real winners you must’ve had.”

“No, seriously. You’re a good person.”

Sasuke cradled Naruto closer into his body.

“Naru, you’re so naive and full of love. It’s a love I’m incapable of expressing, and I will only hurt you.”

“You will hurt me, Sasu,” Naruto said, with a smile that Sasuke could hear in his voice. “That’s part of being in any relationship. But you also make me happy. And if I’m going to be hurt regardless, I can think of no one else I’d rather be hurt by.”

He felt Sasuke’s lips make contact with the crown of his head. Naruto felt exhaustion overwhelm him, his eyes half shut.

“God, I hope I don’t fuck this up.”

Naruto laughed, though only mildly. He allowed his eyes to close, as the effort involved to keep them open seemed increasingly gargantuan.

“You sound a lot like I just did.”

“You’ll be amazing, Naru,” Sasuke murmured. He sounded every bit as exhausted as Naruto was.

“So will you.”

Sasuke had no response for him, his breaths becoming longer. They lay there, in the twilight between sleep and wakefulness for hours as their bodies melded together. And finally, the two of them fell over the edge, dreaming of places far away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update, at last! I hope everyone enjoyed it.
> 
> I don't know if I've EVER been so late for an update before! I had some family drama and a hell of a lot of loose ends to tie up before my trip to Peru, which was, by the way, fantastic.
> 
> We explored Peru for 2 weeks, but at the tail end (in the Amazon, no less), I caught the nastiest cough I've had in almost 10 years, which says a lot given how shitty my immune system is. I ended up in urgent care with a nebulizer, inhalers, and steroid shots so I could breathe. I could barely even move, since any reasonable breath would send me into body-wracking, double-over coughs. I couldn't speak, nor could I really hear, which was tough given that I was the only one of the three of us who spoke Spanish. 3 weeks in, I'm still a wreck, but at least I'm a coherent wreck now. I still sound like I'm dying and frighten my coworkers, but whatever. Then the migraines.
> 
> Anyhow, I'm hoping that I can step up the pace a little bit soon. If I start getting healthier, I should be able to get way more consistent. Just wanted to let you all know where I've been all this time. :)


	18. Anywhere I'm With You

Before Naruto felt the autumn sun, he smelled a robust sauce cooking in the kitchen.

_Chop. Chop. Chop._

The noise coming from the kitchen was almost perfectly rhythmic. Naruto’s mind imagined Sasuke cutting some sort of vegetable with that same intent look he wore as he tattooed his customers.

The blankets tangled up in his limbs, Naruto finally rubbed his eyes and the bridge of his nose. Sunlight bathed him. With a lazy blink, Naruto glanced over to the watch clock, which read no earlier than 12:20.

As if someone had dumped ice water on him, Naruto jumped out of bed. How could he have slept so late? And on his last day with Sasuke? Considering how bad he was with math, it was shocking to Naruto that he almost instantaneously realized that this left him less than 16 hours until he left for the airport.

Naruto at least had the foresight to put on his jeans before he rushed out to the kitchen.

“Sasuke! What the hell? Why didn’t you wake me up?” Naruto asked.

The sight of Sasuke swirling his frying pan around shirtless took some of the air out of him.

“You need your rest.”

Naruto grumbled, making his displeasure plenty clear.

“I’ve only been awake for an hour,” Sasuke answered, reading his concerns. “You didn’t miss much.”

Naruto took a seat.

“Do you always sleep in this late?”

Sasuke merely shrugged.

“On my free days, I take sleep whenever I can get it.”

Naruto nodded, scrunching his brows. Sasuke had mentioned from the start that he was an insomniac, but it was nonetheless surprising to see how many aspects of Sasuke’s life it affected.

“Your schedule is really all over the place, huh?”

It was such a stark contrast from the consistent 0500 reveille in boot camp.

Sasuke shrugged.

“Kind of. I catch up on all the sleep I missed during my working days on my days off.”

“It must be difficult to keep a regular schedule.”

Naruto could see now that Sasuke was sauteeing some onions as a pot of tomato sauce simmered on the stove’s other burner.

“That’s what coffee’s for. I do my sprints and load myself full of coffee an hour before work. I nurse this enormous thermos and ride the fumes until the end of the day.”

Naruto shook his head and clucked his tongue.

“Man, I would’ve never guessed. You seem so perfectly composed at work. I don’t know how you do it, with as little sleep as you get.”

Sasuke didn’t show his flaws and trouble on the surface, least of all at work. He was nothing short of elegant and refined.

“Practice and adaptation can get you through a lot,” Sasuke noted. “Besides, my insomnia ebbs and flows, so it’s not like I’m always like that.”

“Hm…” Naruto murmured.

He watched as Sasuke cooked, his eyes on the stove in front of him. He found himself wondering what it would be like if every night would be so restless and sleepless as this last night. How exhausting and frustrating must that be?

“Ahh, I kinda got side-tracked,” Naruto said with sheepish laughter. “Whatcha makin'?”

“Simple stuff. Pasta with tomato sauce.”

Naruto peered over again.

“Wait, you’re making the sauce from scratch?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow! That’s awesome. Where do you get the recipes?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“Around. This one is my mom’s.”

Even as Naruto felt a tinge of sadness for Sasuke, he grinned. Sasuke’s mother was who made Sasuke into the man he was today. And in being closer to her, even if only by tasting her food, he felt closer to Sasuke. Even this small admission felt like Sasuke was slowly opening up.

“I’m really excited then.”

“Mn,” Sasuke responded simply, getting back to his cooking.

Naruto watched Sasuke silently, without distraction. The sun shone on his back in just the right ways, making his ink more vibrant and hugging the flesh on the small of his back. It seemed like hardly any time had passed when Sasuke served them.

They sat across from each other in silence.

“Take a bite,” Sasuke told Naruto.

“I was waiting for you.”

“You’re the guest,” Sasuke said, and if Naruto didn’t know any better, he saw a glint of eagerness in Sasuke’s eye. It wasn’t like him to be so polite. At least not to him.

Naruto took a large bite, soon after questioning his decision. But the food was comfortably hot to eat. Naruto was blown away by the freshness of the sauce, the unique zest of the basil, ground veal, the slices of sauteed mushrooms packed with buttery garlic… The noodles were fresh, just the right balance between doughy and al dente.

“Oh my gooood,” Naruto said before he swallowed. “You should open a restaurant!”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Sasuke corrected, now taking his own bite to eat.

“No, seriously! Goddamn, I’ve never had tomato sauce this good in my whole life.”

Sasuke shrugged.

“My mom was the pinnacle of the Japanese stereotype. A renowned pianist and violinist, intelligent, attractive, feminine, fashionable at all times...” Sasuke said, likely not knowing that there was a modest smile on his lips. “But hell if she didn’t love her Italian food.”

Naruto was absolutely beaming. He loved these bits and pieces Sasuke would leak to him. Naruto took a large bite of pasta.

“Of course! Who doesn’t?” Naruto asked with his mouth full. “My mom was like… She had that whole fiery Irish stereotype going for her. Her temper could scare the piss out of people twice her size.”

Naruto found himself laughing now.

“Speaking of Irish stereotypes, daaamn could she hold her liquor! Such a high tolerance.”

“That’s clearly not something you inherited,” Sasuke quipped.

“Hey! I can so hold my liquor!” Naruto contradicted, laughter still in his tone. “My dad was almost straight German. He… Heh, he wasn’t much for drinking. Not even beer. My mom would always tease him.”

Sasuke rolled his noodles around his fork, pausing before bringing it up to his mouth.

“Mhm,” Sasuke answered flippantly. “My mom was a tiny thing and hardly ever drank. Regardless, she held her liquor like a champ. She acted totally sober, except her face would go a little red. It seemed to defy chemistry.”

“What did your mom look like?” Naruto asked, comfily enjoying Sasuke’s food.

“Hm…” Sasuke paused, looking out the window. “She was pale and thin, and her features seemed perfectly placed. She had long, black hair and thin lips. Almost like a doll...a porcelain doll.”

Naruto waited patiently as Sasuke continued, pausing slightly.

“I don’t know how she did it, as poor as we were, but she always looked like she was about to walk down a modeling runway. She’d buy stuff at thrift shops and doctor it up.”

There was a soft fondness in Sasuke’s voice that was so rare.

“Heh, that sounds like you for sure,” Naruto answered, beaming.

“She was the artist in the family. I took after her the most, thankfully.”

Naruto didn’t miss Sasuke’s last word.

“My mom was a nurse. As mad as she could get, she could be really nurturing and gentle. If she was with you when you were sick, you just knew you were gonna be okay and that everything would work out.”

“Hm…” Sasuke mused. “It took a lot to make my mother angry, but when she was, she’d get her way come hell or high water. But she was gentle, by default.”

“Well…” Naruto paused, finishing his bite of pasta and swallowing. “It sounds like she was a wonderful woman.”

Sasuke nodded.

“She was. I could say the same about your mother.”

“Heh,” Naruto answered with a grin so wide that it showed his molars.

Sasuke looked so peaceful as he continued to eat the dish his mother had made him.

“Sooo, what are we gonna do today?” Naruto asked, tilting his head.

“I’ll leave that up to you,” Sasuke answered.

“Hmmm,” Naruto stopped to think.

He knew why Sasuke was letting him make the decision. It was his last day before his deployment, after all. But he’d already done everything he’d wanted to do before leaving. The only thing he cared about was Sasuke.

“Anywhere I’m with you, I’ll be happy.”

A part of Naruto regretted saying that. He didn’t want to come on too strong, and he felt flustered.

“Mhm,” Sasuke answered simply. “We’ll play it by ear.”

“Alright! Didn’t ya say you were gonna make me steak before I leave?” Naruto asked.

“I did say that.”

Dammit, why couldn’t Sasuke ever let Naruto infer anything?

“Make me steak for dinner, dammit.”

Sasuke smirked, seemingly pleased by Naruto’s directness.

“You ruined the surprise. They’ve been marinating since yesterday.”

If Naruto weren’t in the middle of eating, he’d already be drooling.

“Hey, you’re the one who made me ask for it directly, ya know. You could’ve dodged, so don’t call me the surprise ruiner.”

Of course, Sasuke would never pass up on a chance to tease him.

“Seriously, though, I’m really excited. I love me some steak,” Naruto said. “Everything you’ve cooked so far has been phenomenal.”

“I always cook to my own tastes,” Sasuke answered. “It’s fortunate that yours are similar to mine.”

Naruto took another big mouthful of food.

“How couldn’t they be? Do you cook for people a lot?” Naruto asked, already suspecting the answer.

“It’s rare anyone important to me stays over at my place,” Sasuke replied in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. “Though I have cooked for Shikamaru.”

Naruto couldn’t hide his happiness at that fact. He felt so honored.

“Man, I’m gettin’ the exclusive stuff!”

“This was the most practical solution.”

Naruto smile didn’t abate. Ah, why did Sasuke always have to bullshit these things? The two of them had almost scraped their plates clean.

“Anywho… I feel like doing something cozy. Maybe watching something? It’s a shame that Chamber of Secrets isn’t out on DVD yet. I can’t believe I missed it in theaters.”

“Chamber of Secrets?” Sasuke asked, tilting his head.

Naruto blinked.

“The second Harry Potter movie.”

Finally, Naruto saw recognition on Sasuke’s face.

“That wouldn’t do any good for me. I haven’t seen the first one yet.”

Shrieking, Naruto’s eyes grew twice their size as he abruptly dropped his fork.

“I didn’t realize that I’d invited a dinosaur into my home,” Sasuke teased.

That shriek sounded more animal than human, after all.

“You haven’t seen Harry Potter?!” Naruto almost shouted.

“I literally _just_ told you that.”

Naruto shook his head in disbelief. Who hadn’t seen Harry Potter by now?

“Alright, but you’ve at least read the books, right? I know that the book is always better than the movie, but you should at least give it a chance.”

It was just so wrong! Sasuke was deprived.

“I haven’t read the books either.”

Naruto flailed about, his elbow connecting with his fork and sending it to the floor.

“No _way!_ Don’t tell me… Do you even know what Harry Potter _is_?”

Naruto would believe almost anything at this point.

“Something about a school for wizards. I don’t live under a rock.”

“Then that settles it. We’re watching the first Harry Potter movie!”

“I’m not much for the fantasy genre,” Sasuke said as he ate. “But I’ll give it a fair chance.”

Naruto found himself in a state of shock, vapidly staring at Sasuke.

“I… Seriously can’t believe it. You’re so deprived!”

“Looks like we’ll need to take a trip to Blockbuster,” Sasuke murmured.

“I need to take a shower. Let’s do it after we eat.”

“I need to take one too.”

“Hey, ya know… You seem like an efficient sort of guy…”

“Oh?” Sasuke answered with mock innocence.

“The type of guy who would want to minimize his water bill.”

Sasuke smirked.

“You’re getting better at this.”

“Hey!” Naruto answered, laughing and flailing his arms, “Do you have to critique everything I do?”

“It comes naturally to me.”

“What are you going to do next? Grade me?”

Sasuke raised his brows, just slightly.

“That hadn’t occurred to me, but now that you mention it…”

“Ugh! I give up!” Naruto laughed.

They took several more bites in silence.

“Okay, okay… So how’s this: Is your ass made of onion? Cuz it could make a grown man cry.”

Naruto waggled his brows at the punchline.

“F,” Sasuke answered curtly. “If I can use the entire alphabet, Z.”

“Aw! I worked hard on that too! And the delivery was spot on!”

“You made that up?” Sasuke asked. “That makes it even worse.”

Naruto frowned.

“Man, this sucks. You suck!”

“I won’t deny that.”

“Hm…” Naruto began. “B. Maybe a B plus. Spontaneous and impromptu, but overdone.”

“Fair.”

They’d finished their meals. As Naruto scrubbed the dishes and pots down, Sasuke put them in his dishwasher.

“I’m going to take my shower,” Sasuke said.

He left the room with no further announcement. Naruto heard him open the bedroom door and make his way into his bathroom, the water running now.

Naruto wouldn’t follow immediately. He’d let Sasuke run through part of his routine, constantly on edge for Naruto to appear. He allowed himself to imagine what Sasuke looked like now, turning on the water and waiting for it to heat, undressing himself before walking into the water’s warm spray…

Exactly how hot would that water be? Would there be steam on the windows when Naruto joined Sasuke? He was teasing himself with images of Sasuke, hot water weighing his black and blue hair down and running down his body in rivulets.

Waiting was torturous, but he disciplined himself to wait a full four minutes before proceeding. Finally, he entered Sasuke’s bedroom and rounded the corner to approach the bathroom. The door was left open - an indubitable invitation.

Through the mist, Naruto could see Sasuke’s pale body move as he washed his arm, the colorful ink on Sasuke’s body blurred by the fog but still visible. Naruto unconsciously licked his lips as he removed his shirt, pants, and boxers, meticulously folding them by the foot of Sasuke’s bed.

He fluidly moved from Sasuke’s bed to his bathroom. The back left corner of the bathroom contained a flat-floored shower area with multiple shower heads. A large tub rested on the back right corner, opposing it. Sasuke was facing directly into the water’s spray, washing off his shampoo. Naruto used the opportunity to walk up to Sasuke, staring at Sasuke as he showered for several seconds in silence.

He didn’t have words to describe the beauty that was Sasuke, nor did Naruto have words to express the full impact it had on him. He just took in every bit of him, the muscles in his back, his eyebrows, and each piece of artwork on his body as the shower spray pushed back his hair, ebony interrupted by streaks of blue.

He felt both bummed that his time of secretly admiring Sasuke had concluded and excited for Sasuke’s company as he knocked on the glass shower wall. Sasuke hitched, ever so slightly. Rubbing the water out of his eyes, he looked at Naruto.

“You’d make a horrible ninja,” Naruto teased with a flaunting smile.

“In the right circumstances, I don’t mind being surprised,” Sasuke answered, facing Naruto now.

Naruto was relieved. He could be sure now that Sasuke hadn’t realized that he’d been standing there staring.

Sasuke opened up the door a crack, Naruto entering and quickly shutting the door behind him to keep the water from escaping. Looking up, Naruto was a little surprised by how close that step had brought him to Sasuke, despite the fact that Sasuke’s shower was plenty spacious.

He looked up at Sasuke’s face, his own body nervously edging away from Sasuke as his heart beat heavily in his chest. He knew he was flushing, but he could use the hot water as an excuse if Sasuke decided to be a dick about it.

“It’s small in here,” Naruto remarked, feeling his confidence leaving him.

As loathe as he would be to admit it to Sasuke, he felt just a bit outclassed looking at Sasuke’s impeccable body.

“Is that a problem?” Sasuke asked, continuing to clean himself as he raised a pierced brow at Naruto.

“Of course not,” Naruto laughed nervously.

It felt so odd that the man he’d stared at, lost in awe, was standing right in front of him. He’d seen Sasuke many times now, but he had yet to get over how stunning Sasuke looked. His hair felt flat from the water, showing Sasuke’s sharp jawline.

“Here,” Sasuke told Naruto, pointing to the water as he grabbed his soap and ran it over his body.

Naruto recognized the scent of vanilla sandalwood as Sasuke washed his body, breathing it in deeply and trying to memorize it. He smelled this on Sasuke at times, even back when he didn’t know Sasuke outside of the studio. As he inked his back, their bodies were so close together. He never would’ve imagined that he’d be sharing a shower with his tattooist, and it brought a small smile to Naruto’s face.

“Anyone home?” Sasuke asked, scrubbing over his arms and chest.

“What?” Naruto flinched.

“You were staring out into space.”

“Hah, sorry,” Naruto said sheepishly.

“You okay?”

Sasuke’s tone was casual, but Naruto could sense Sasuke’s concern. Considering the circumstance, it was no surprise that Sasuke was being more careful than he normally was.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Naruto replied with a bright smile, wanting to reassure him but too embarrassed to tell Sasuke the truth.

Yet the snicker from Sasuke told Naruto that he’d already figured it out, which only made his face flush more deeply. He had half a mind to call Sasuke arrogant, but was it really arrogance if Sasuke was right?

“Idiot,” Sasuke quipped, handing Naruto a bottle of shampoo.

Naruto looked down at the bottle and read: Color Protection and Moisturizing. Squeezing out a dab, he was met with the slightest hint of peppermint, scrubbing it into his scalp.

“Do you always dye your hair?” Naruto asked, working up some suds.

“Usually,” Sasuke answered. “But usually not my whole head.”

“Yeah…” Naruto mused, reaching out and taking a lock of Sasuke’s hair. “When your hair’s wet, you can hardly tell the difference.”

Naruto then noticed how close that this had brought their bodies, looking into Sasuke’s eyes as he still held his hair in his hand. Sasuke reached behind Naruto’s head, working the shampoo out of his hair as the shower’s spray hit Naruto’s scalp. His fingers softly coursed through Naruto’s hair. Naruto looked down, that modest, closed smile growing as Sasuke washed him.

“There you go, space cadet.”

Sasuke’s hand rested on Naruto’s neck. Sasuke’s caresses brought Naruto back down to earth, grounded him. And now it was just him and Sasuke. Naruto looked clear up into Sasuke’s eyes, moving forward and kissing him.

Sasuke’s lips parted and gave entry to Naruto’s tongue, which smoothly slipped back into Sasuke’s mouth and played with his tongue stud. Naruto was a little embarrassed by the quiet moan he let out the instant his tongue touched Sasuke’s. His brain focused on the touch of their moist muscles against each other’s, muting the raucous spray of the shower.

Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s forearm by its thickest part, moving closer to him so that their bare chests touched. Their bodies were hot from the steamy water. That, combined with the intimate feel of his flesh on Sasuke’s and the way their tongues slowly danced around each other, made the world spin around him.

Naruto rested his hand on Sasuke’s stomach, slowly moving it up and toying with the piercing on Sasuke’s nipple. He gave it a gentle tug, at which point Sasuke bit his lip and pulled. Sasuke’s hand trailed down Naruto’s arm, starting at his shoulder and ending with his wrist. Naruto reached up, locking his fingers together with Sasuke’s.

He wanted to call Sasuke stunning at that moment, but he was afraid that if he said this too often, it’d lose its meaning. Sasuke already knew that Naruto was crazy about him.

So he kissed him with painful slowness, basking in the sensation of their skin together as they were surrounded by Sasuke’s scent. Naruto allowed his fingers to trace down Sasuke’s chest, past his strong abdominal muscles and just over the dermal anchor on Sasuke’s hip. His finger now rested at the base of Sasuke’s cock, and Naruto could feel Sasuke’s flesh swelling.

“If you’re going to go there, you better not leave me hanging,” Sasuke muttered, parting lips with Naruto for a moment so he could speak.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Naruto answered, his confidence returning.

Sasuke tugged on Naruto’s earrings with his teeth, which caused his hairs to stand up on end. Sasuke had been so good about leaving the new piercings be. As Sasuke licked over the skin, Naruto heard the metal of Sasuke’s tongue stud connect with his earring, and it made goosebumps cover his skin. It was a new feeling for him.

Naruto reached down to stroke his finger from the base of Sasuke’s cock to the tip, trailing the back of his pointer nail as his hand moved. His nail slipped around the the stud just between the top side of Sasuke’s shaft and his glans. His fingertip tapped on the metal stud by Sasuke’s slit.

He knew that Sasuke liked it when these were touched. He was always so sensitive near them. As Naruto grasped Sasuke’s sex in his hand, he felt it swell and harden. Sasuke lightly bit Naruto at the crook of his neck, sucking on it, his eyes looking up into Naruto’s as if to ask for permission.

“Harder,” Naruto breathed out, locking the fingers of his free hand into Sasuke’s wet hair and pulling.

Naruto moaned as he felt Sasuke suck at his skin so harshly, knowing Sasuke was leaving him an angry mark to remember him by for weeks. He knew that the other Marines would see it, and he didn’t care.

When Sasuke’s mouth parted with Naruto’s skin, Naruto gently pushed Sasuke’s head down, facing his shoulder.

“One more…”

He thought he could hear Sasuke smirk, but it could have well just been the spray of the shower.

Sasuke began to suck at his shoulder. Naruto imagined the marks that would be left behind, the fact that everyone would know that he wasn’t up for grabs. Even if Sasuke didn’t consider himself Naruto’s, he considered himself Sasuke’s. He felt his manhood go harder, perking up steadily.

Naruto’s hand formed a ring around Sasuke’s cock. He pumped it twice, his hand loose. He played with the small barbells on the underside of Sasuke’s shaft, running his finger directly down it. His finger trailed over the skin between the studs of Sasuke’s piercings.

As hard as Sasuke’s cock was getting, Naruto could feel, ever so slightly, the metal underneath his skin. He loved touching Sasuke there, getting off of the power it gave him. Sasuke balanced himself on the wall by putting his palm against it. Naruto stood between Sasuke and the wall, his face close to Sasuke’s now. They kissed again, and Naruto ran one hand down Sasuke’s muscular side as he gave his cock a few gentle pumps.

As Sasuke kissed down Naruto’s neck, he reached down and pressed their cocks together. The sudden connection made Naruto gasp, some water stuck in his throat in his shock. The heat of Sasuke’s sex, the contrast of the hard metal against him, and the beauty of the man who marked him combined to hit him like a suckerpunch.

To accommodate for Sasuke’s length, their manhoods faced upward but slanted just slightly towards Naruto. Naruto didn’t bother to suppress his moan. He wanted Sasuke to know exactly how he felt at this moment. Sasuke bit Naruto’s earlobe just above his earring, pulling down and smirking. The sound of Sasuke’s smirk, hardly a hair’s width from his ear brought another wave of goosebumps. He could even feel the heat of Sasuke’s exhale.

“Sasuke…” Naruto breathed out.

“Mn…” Sasuke murmured, slowly grinding against Naruto.

Sasuke was taking his time. Naruto felt himself get harder by the second.

Naruto moved his hand up Sasuke’s colorful forearm, the muscles in it tensed as his hand leisurely pumped at their manhoods. He ran his hand through Sasuke’s wet hair. When he glanced at it, he realized that he’d closed his eyes. Just the touch of Sasuke, his scent, and the heat of the water overran his senses. His breath came to him in a shudder as he now looked into Sasuke’s eyes.

The stare Sasuke returned was resolute and sinful, his lips falling just the slightest bit apart. Naruto looked down, and the sight of them pressed together, of Sasuke’s greedy and plump erection, made him squirm.

“Sasuke, please…”

“What do you want from me, Naruto?”

Sasuke’s voice and expression were so frustratingly composed.

“You know what I want,” Naruto breathed out.

Sasuke was silent, however, keeping his steady pace.

“Before I announced my presence to you, I watched you shower.”

Naruto almost regretted speaking these words once he heard them aloud, but he pressed forward nonetheless.

“You’re so...stunning. I teased myself by forcing myself to wait and watch. And now you’re going to tease me too?”

Sasuke’s stare challenged Naruto. There was something sadistic in it.

“If you’re going to keep doing that, I’ll take matters into my own hands. I’m not a patient man. Not when it comes to things like this.”

Naruto wrapped his hand around Sasuke’s, guiding him to pump up and down their lengths. The water, and now the slightest bit of precum lubricated his motions.

A quiet sound that was a mix between a moan and a hum left Sasuke’s lips as he moved along with Naruto.

Sasuke kissed Naruto again, his hands hurrying. As long as he’d been left waiting, Naruto knew he couldn’t hold out much longer. His balls were painfully hard, the tension exuded in the rough kiss he shared with Sasuke. Sasuke guided now, biting Naruto’s lip as he sprinted.

The pain galvanized him, Naruto unleashing his load onto their stomachs. Their lips parted as Naruto emitted a shameless moan. It was quickly followed by a smaller spurt, Naruto flushing bright red as he rested his forehead on Sasuke’s shoulder. Sasuke continued to jack himself off, his brows knit now as he lost his patience. His hunger was beautiful to Naruto, raw and sinful.

Naruto knew what Sasuke needed. He sucked as hard as he could at the skin where Sasuke’s neck and shoulder met, leaving the darkest mark behind. He knew that Sasuke was imagining what it would look like when he was done.

Sasuke let out a stifled moan as he unleashed, emptying himself in diminishing spurts. They now stood together, endorphins raging through their systems as the water rinsed them clean.

Naruto gave Sasuke a lazy kiss, and Sasuke returned it, their tongues gently rubbing against each other. He felt blissed, but also positively giddy that Sasuke’s touches could be so erotic and so gentle at the same time. He knew he’d made his way under the surface, but Sasuke’s core seemed untouchable. If only he had more time.

* * *

The next few hours were anticlimactic in comparison. Naruto didn’t have a change of clothes, though he’d only worn his current outfit for a few hours before showering. Sasuke forced him, however, to wear one of his jeans. It was the largest pair Sasuke owned, and Naruto could just barely pull it off. Since all of Sasuke’s shirts were too small, Naruto simply wore one of his jackets. He didn’t mind being topless underneath.

Of course, Naruto couldn’t help but tease Sasuke about his “ulterior motives.” Naruto didn’t quite know what to say when Sasuke openly admitted to them, and Sasuke took pleasure in Naruto’s resulting awkwardness. Yes, he did think that Naruto looked sexy in his clothing. Yes, this was a power play. How astute of Naruto to realize that.

That, and as Sasuke put it, “Clothing hides your best features. The less, the better.”

Well, Sasuke wasn’t the only one who had a thing for him shirtless. Naruto knew he was a sight, and he basked in the attention people gave them as the two of them walked together. There was no knowing whom this attention was for. Whatever the case, he knew they looked damned good together. He basked in their jealousy.

It only took them twenty minutes to walk over to Blockbuster and rent the Harry Potter DVD that Naruto was so keen on watching. Sasuke sipped at some gin as the movie went on, while Naruto downed a few rum and Cokes. Afterward, Sasuke sat on the couch. Naruto rested his head in Sasuke’s lap as he watched the movie lying on his side.

With the buzz of alcohol in his system and Sasuke’s touch, Naruto was able to focus on the movie entirely. It was nice; he’d done wonderfully at ignoring his thoughts this afternoon.

Finally, they’d hit the ending credits. He took it as a good sign when Sasuke continued to fixate on the screen as the credits rolled.

“So?” Naruto asked, rolling over onto his back so that he was looking directly up at Sasuke from the tattooist’s lap.

“Not bad,” Sasuke answered.

“Not bad? That’s it?!” Naruto almost shouted, his eyes narrowing.

“It was good,” Sasuke admitted simply.

Naruto closed his eyes as he grinned.

“I knew it! Ten points to Gryffindor!”

Sasuke tilted his head.

“For converting you,” Naruto explained.

Sasuke nodded.

“You’d make a good Gryffindor. Though I think you have some Hufflepuff in you.”

“Hufflepuff?” Naruto whined. “Whyyy?”

“Because you’re loyal and dedicated. You work hard too.”

Naruto grinned.

“And you’re a total romantic sap.”

“Hey!” Naruto shouted at Sasuke as he laughed.

The liquor was still influencing him, he knew. He sat up on the couch and poured himself another rum and Coke; both liquids sat at the coffee table in front of them.

“So, what do you think you would be?” Naruto asked.

“Slytherin,” Sasuke answered effortlessly.

“Hm, I could see that. Resourceful, ambitious, always on your way to an achievement… And a little bit cunning, like the hat said.”

“One could say I’ve fully adapted to the realities of this world.”

Naruto tilted his head.

“Realities? What do you mean?”

“The world’s a fucked up place. If you’re unwilling to get your hands dirty, you’re DOA.”

He wondered what Sasuke was referring to. It made him wish he knew more about Sasuke’s past. He was a riddle, and would take all of the patience Naruto had in him to solve it.

That is, if Sasuke ever let him.

“Get your hands dirty how?”

“I don’t let anyone stand in my way. Eye for an eye.”

Naruto glanced at the script tattoo by Sasuke’s collarbone: Nemini Cedimus. Yield to no one.

Yet it sounded a little sinister when Sasuke put it that way. Nonetheless, he _knew_ that Sasuke was gentle and good at his core. He could feel it down to the marrow of his bones.

“Mah, Sasuke, don’t you know that an eye for an eye leaves the world blind?”

Sasuke shrugged, taking another swallow of gin.

“Yeah. We’re never going to agree on this.”

“Don’t you mean, we’ll never see _eye_ to _eye_?” Naruto asked with a grin, nudging Sasuke’s arm with his elbow.

“What do I see in you…” Sasuke murmured.

“More like what _don’t_ you see in me!” Naruto beamed. “Brains, brawn, and a smile to die for… I got the whole package.”

“You certainly have two of those three things,” Sasuke said as he raised his brows.

“Hey!” Naruto shouted, collapsing on Sasuke yet again.

“Jesus Christ, you’re heavy,” Sasuke groaned.

“Heeey, I resemble that comment!”

Sasuke arched a pierced brow at Naruto.

“That was intentional,” Naruto quickly piped in.

“Uh huh.”

Naruto leaned forward, gently kissing Sasuke’s cheek.

“Hm?” Sasuke asked.

“I dunno. I just felt like doing that.”

“You’re strange.”

“Hm…”

Now that the movie was over, he felt his thoughts return to him. Naruto now noticed that it was dark outside. It made Naruto sad. The next time he saw the sun would be on a plane, taking him far away from his home and everything he ever knew.

“It’s getting late…” Naruto trailed off.

“Are you tired?” Sasuke asked.

“Not really,” Naruto answered with a frown. “I only got up a few hours ago.”

“Hungry?”

It was obvious to Naruto that Sasuke was trying to distract him. He must’ve let on. However, he didn’t mind Sasuke knowing these things. He didn’t want Sasuke to think he was needy, but at the same time, he knew that he could trust Sasuke not to judge him for something like this. He was so glad he wasn’t alone tonight.

“Yeah…”

“Well, get off your ass then,” Sasuke said, gently moving Naruto’s head off of his lap and getting up. “Cook with me.”

Naruto was positively beaming.

“Are you gonna teach me how to cook?”

“You don’t know how to cook?”

“I do so,” Naruto responded, furrowing his brows. “But your food is better.”

“Fair enough,” Sasuke answered with a shrug.

Naruto skittered off to join Sasuke in the kitchen. Sasuke was patient with him, making sure he sauteed the mushrooms just right. The aroma in the kitchen nearly made him salivate, his stomach announcing its need loudly and soliciting more of Sasuke’s teasing.

He wished that this could go on forever. For the moment, it almost felt as though this was their routine. Perhaps they lived together and would cook dinners every night as a team. They’d laugh as they ate together. They’d then do the dishes and fall asleep next to each other in bed. He could see himself living this life all too well.

If only this were the reality Naruto lived in, he would have been a happy man indeed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Writer's curse: Every time I post a chapter, I worry that it's not on par with the others. Writer logic makes no sense.
> 
> Anyhow, can't even begin to say how many things in my personal life happened since my last update. It was pretty heavy, but it looks like things are on the up now. I swear I'm gonna get grey hair in the next couple years.
> 
> Just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten about this fic and will certainly never abandon it!
> 
> Pretty much out of the blue, my boss is sending me to New York most of next week to run some trainings, where I'll be "on" literally 24/7. Then the lovely CapturedByNoodles is coming to my place from Chicago for 10 days! I've already started chapter 19, but it may be a little late, heads up.


	19. Good Luck

If it were humanly possible for food to make someone cum on the spot, Naruto was pretty sure he found the dish that would be responsible.

Naruto had never had steak like this. Just a week ago, he’d treated himself to a nice steakhouse with his friends as a going away party. It hadn’t been cheap. But compared to Sasuke’s ribeye, it was nothing.

The aroma of the kitchen only augmented the experience. Naruto knew that part of his enjoyment came from knowing that this was a dish that Sasuke made especially for him. Something he’d prepared for well in advance to make Naruto happy. Nonetheless, objectively, this was some damned good steak.

Naruto didn’t want to eat in silence. Sasuke reluctantly allowed Naruto to sort through his CD’s. Sasuke had good taste, Naruto noted. He’d tuck some of those bands away for reference. Naruto thought to himself that once he got back, he’d love to make Sasuke a mixtape.

Naruto stared at Sasuke as he took another bite, watching him with a gentle smile on his lips. Sasuke must’ve sensed it, as his eyes almost instantly locked onto Naruto’s. Naruto grinned at Sasuke so widely that his eyes closed. Naruto was shocked when Sasuke sent a mild smile back.

“You’re totally spoiling me, Sasuke. This is delicious.”

They’d finished about half of their meals at this point.

“I’m glad you like it.”

This wasn’t a version of Sasuke that Naruto was accustomed to seeing. He seemed so...soft. Gentle.

“I dunno how I’m gonna eat the crap they’ll feed me over there now,” Naruto laughed.

“Just think of it as something to look forward to when you get back.”

Sasuke’s words made Naruto light up. He was insinuating that he’d cook for Naruto again when he returned.

“I’ll look forward to everything about you, Sasu.”

Naruto would use the most intimate name he had for Sasuke now.

“Such a sap…” Sasuke trailed off as he shook his head.

Naruto was finding that this was Sasuke’s default response when he’d said something too intimate for Sasuke to respond to. Yet Sasuke didn’t seem uncomfortable.

“You’ve made these two weeks really memorable, ya know? Even during a rough time like this, you’ve really made me happy.”

Sasuke didn’t seem to know how to respond, his mouth just partially open as if deciding whether or not to speak.

“Thank you.”

Sasuke simply nodded.

“Of course.”

They ate for a while in silence. Naruto looked over at his watch. It was nearly eight at night, and he’d have to leave the house no later than four in the morning, before even the earliest hints of sunlight took to the sky. It was hardly eight hours.

Truthfully, Naruto didn’t want this meal to end. He didn’t want to let reality sour this moment. He wanted to remember the thoughtful way Sasuke looked at him from time to time between bites of food. He knew that Sasuke was concerned for him, even though Sasuke wouldn’t say so directly.

“I’m glad I met you, Naruto,” Sasuke said starkly after minutes of silence. “I’ve had a lot of fun.”

Naruto couldn’t help but glow at Sasuke’s words. Sasuke’s eyes fell downward, as if Naruto were too bright for him to look at.

“I never thought I’d connect with you so much,” Sasuke murmured.

Naruto’s heart was thudding in his chest so hard that he was sure that he could hear it beat.

He made up his mind then and there that there was something he absolutely needed to say to Sasuke before he left.

But not now.

“God…” Naruto said, frowning. “I just… I wish we had more time.”

“Me too,” said Sasuke, frowning.

It seemed so unfair to be torn apart, just as they made real progress. Would it be enough?

“I feel like such a selfish twat for saying this, but I hope that you’re not with anyone else when I get back. I hope we can pick up where we left off.”

He didn’t want Sasuke to be lonely, but the idea of Sasuke moving on pained him.

“It’s okay to be selfish sometimes, Naru,” Sasuke murmured.

The sweetness in Sasuke’s voice felt both kind and cruel. But Naruto had told Sasuke to show no restraint in the time up to his departure. At nearly the same time, they both finished their steaks. It was rare for Naruto not to finish first, to say the least.

“Ah… I can’t believe how late it is…” Naruto sighed.

“Are you tired?”

“No,” Naruto frowned. “Not at all.”

“You need your rest before tomorrow. I have some sleep aids if you need them.”

Naruto felt his breath become shallow, and he rested his hand against his heart. He knew that Sasuke was just concerned, but he didn’t want to close his eyes. He didn’t want to sleep. The very next time he opened his eyes, he would have to say goodbye to everything he knew. He’d have to say goodbye to Sasuke.

He was delaying the inevitable, but he didn’t want to give even a single minute away to sleep.

“Hey…” Sasuke said softly, reaching across the table and putting his hand on Naruto’s forearm.

“Ah, I’m… I’m sorry,” Naruto answered, laughing nervously. “I just… You know...”

“There’s no need for you to apologize.”

“I just don’t wanna go to bed,” Naruto said as he stared at his empty plate.

“Do the dishes with me then,” Sasuke answered.

Naruto couldn’t bring himself to speak as they cleaned the dishes together. His organs felt cold inside of his body, stomach turned to sludge. God, he didn’t want to do this. Why couldn’t he just enjoy this moment? Why did his mind have to curse him so? This time was so precious and so little.

“I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep either,” Sasuke said, breaking the silence between them. “Let’s just lie down together.”

Sasuke knew. Of course he did. Naruto supposed he could deal with that proposition.

“Okay.”

The kitchen now perfectly neat, the two of them entered Sasuke’s bedroom. Sasuke was already shirtless. He stripped down to his boxers, and it made Naruto double take. Naruto still couldn’t get used to the sight of him like that.

Naruto followed suit, both of them getting under the covers. They lay on their sides and faced each other.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto frowned.

“I just… I tried to ignore it, ya know? But as soon as the sun went down, it just… It’s too real now.”

“I could only imagine.”

“Thank you…” Naruto murmured. “For staying with me tonight.”

Sasuke must have known that Naruto’s final night in America would leave him emotional. Yet Sasuke had never tried to avoid being with him on that night.

“It wasn’t just for your sake,” Sasuke replied.

He toyed with his lip piercing for a few seconds before speaking again, “You know that I’m going to miss you too, right?”

Naruto smiled despite himself.

“Promise that you won’t forget about me while I’m gone.”

“Naruto…” Sasuke trailed off, reaching his hand out and cupping Naruto’s soft cheek. “I will _never_ forget you.”

Naruto felt his eyes burn as they began to tear. Now one after the other slid down his face. Naruto sniffed, trying to be as quiet as possible.

“I’m sorry, Sasuke… I can’t believe I’m crying at you again.”

For a few seconds, Sasuke was rendered speechless and awkward. It was so odd to see him fluster, and it made Naruto feel even worse. This was the second time he’d cried in front of Sasuke.

And of course, despite all of Sasuke’s apologies for that night, Naruto couldn’t help but remember the look of disgust on Sasuke’s face when he first cried in front of him.

Sasuke reached out and pulled Naruto’s head into his chest, wrapping his arms around him. Naruto’s ear was pressed against Sasuke’s chest. He could hear Sasuke’s heartbeat, and the steady rhythm grounded him in reality.

“You can cry all night if you want,” Sasuke said, running his hand through Naruto’s hair. “Forget what I said before. I felt caged and lashed out at you. I wish I could take it back.”

Naruto sniffed, trying to speak. He could hardly get himself together.

“I just… Jesus, I’m already pushing you, and now I’m just...needy and a total burden on you. I’m sorry I’m weak. I’m sorry I’m not what a Marine should be, what a _lover_ should be...”

“Naruto, you’re not weak. Quite the opposite,” Sasuke said as he tucked some of Naruto’s hair behind his ear. “You are a much better lover than I ever deserved.”

“It’s just… Sasuke, I’m _scared_.”

“I know…” Sasuke said.

Naruto’s body stilled, but tears still streamed down his cheeks as he buried his face into Sasuke’s chest. Finally, he lifted his head back up. Sasuke grabbed a couple tissues from the bed stand and gave them to Naruto.

“Thanks,” Naruto said, dabbing his cheeks and wiping his nose.

“Sasuke, do you believe in God?”

Sasuke frowned.

“If there is one, I would prefer to never meet them.”

“Why?” Naruto pressed.

“Because they’re cruel,” Sasuke answered without hesitation, his tone never losing its composure.

Naruto bit his lip. Sasuke certainly was not one to mince words.

Sasuke’s demeanor told Naruto that Sasuke was speaking from experience. There was so much more to Sasuke than what showed on the surface. He so badly wanted to understand Sasuke’s past, the reality behind Sasuke’s vague inferences, but all attempts at doing so had been futile. Would that explain why Sasuke thought the way he did?

“I think there’s something greater than us out there,” Naruto mused, leaning into Sasuke. “I’m not one for organized religion. But I think that higher power is good. And if there’s a god, then maybe there’s a heaven.”

Sasuke sucked at his lip piercing, thinking on Naruto’s words.

“And if...the worst happens over there…” Naruto trailed off. “If there’s a heaven, maybe I’ll see my parents again. Do you think so, Sasuke?”

“Yeah, I do,” Sasuke answered with a sad smile. “The only problem is that I’d never be able to see you again.”

“Huh?” Naruto asked, perking a brow.

“If there’s a heaven, then two things are certain. You’ll go there, and I never can.”

Naruto couldn’t understand this. Why did Sasuke see himself this way? Naruto’s mouth hung open, but he couldn’t find the right words.

After a pause, Sasuke continued, “I like to think that even if there’s no God, or if God is a sociopath, there could still be a heaven. I like to think my mom is up there, happy.”

Sasuke’s vulnerability made Naruto feel stronger in comparison. He felt Sasuke’s pain as he spoke, and it so closely mirrored the pain of his own youth. Perhaps Sasuke didn’t even realize that his thumb absently brushed upon the fan tattoo on the opposing hand.

“Then you’ll just have to behave, so that you’ll see her again when you die.”

“That’s not possible for me.”

“Why not?” Naruto asked, his eyes wide and innocent.

“I don’t know how many different ways I can tell you that I’m not a good person. How many times will it take for you to understand?”

A bit of frustration had worked its way into Sasuke’s tone, but it wasn’t overwhelming.

“I understand what you’re saying. I just don’t agree.”

Sasuke’s brows knit in annoyance, until he finally sighed, appearing to let it go.

“So stubborn…”

“I could say the same about you, bastard,” Naruto answered with a grin.

Still on their sides, they lay there in silence looking into each other’s eyes. The smile faded from Naruto’s face, both of their expressions equally relaxed. Sasuke reached his hand out again, running his thumb and pointer finger down the side of Naruto’s ear.

“Naruto, please don’t see your parents any time soon, if you can help it. I’m not done with you yet.”

Naruto smiled as the tears started again, changing their course over the meat of Naruto’s cheeks that protruded with his grin.

Sasuke leaned forward, planting a chaste kiss against Naruto’s closed lips and running his hand through Naruto’s hair, as if he were petting a small animal or a child. Naruto opened his mouth, their tongues slipping together. Naruto reached for Sasuke’s forearm, and Sasuke took Naruto’s hand into his own, giving it a firm squeeze.

Naruto’s tears didn’t stop as he kissed Sasuke. As their lips parted, Sasuke gently pressed his forehead against Naruto’s, wiping the tears from Naruto’s cheek with his thumb.

“You can do this,” Sasuke said in his most confident tone of voice. “You’ll come home, and you’ll become a teacher. Those little shits will be so lucky to have you.”

Naruto squeezed Sasuke’s hand so tightly that it might well have been painful for Sasuke. It was ironic that even as he felt Sasuke heal something so deep that he believed it was untouchable, the tears only came quicker.

“You’re going to help people.”

Naruto nodded.

“Just like you helped me,” Sasuke added quietly.

“I… I helped?” Naruto stammered.

“Yes. You did.”

Despite himself, Naruto laughed even as he cried.

“I’m so glad. So glad…”

“I won’t say things like this often. You’d do well to remember it,” Sasuke said. “But you have a beautiful soul.”

Naruto lost his breath, staring at Sasuke in silence for a few seconds. Sasuke diverted his eyes.

“Thank you, Sasuke…” Naruto sniffled. He didn’t care that he was crying anymore. “Thank you so much.”

Sasuke kissed one of Naruto’s tears away, right on his cheek. This was too tender. Too pure. He didn’t know that Sasuke had this in him. Naruto had found something truly precious.

As they continued to kiss, Sasuke ran his hand along Naruto’s muscular upper arm, at times massaging the flesh there. It relaxed Naruto, and his tears were slowing. He did the same, fingers ghosting up and down Sasuke’s arm as Naruto moved closer to him. Their chests were touching, bodies tight against each other.

“S-Sasuke…” Naruto whispered, looking into Sasuke’s eyes longingly.

Sasuke gently separated himself from Naruto now, guiding him onto his back. Naruto didn’t resist. Sasuke leaned over, kissing down Naruto’s neck as Naruto whined so quietly and rested his palm on Sasuke’s head, his fingers going through his tattooist’s hair. Ever since he’d gone to bed with Sasuke tonight, his heart had been pounding in his chest like mad. However, it was now throbbing for a different reason.

“Yes, Sasuke…” Naruto breathed out.

Sasuke kissed Naruto’s ear before moving down, kissing Naruto’s chest and scaling his hand up Naruto’s abs. This felt so different from their normal affairs. It was something much softer, much more fragile. Sasuke moved so slowly.

“You doing okay?” Sasuke asked.

“Yeah,” Naruto panted. “It feels good.”

Sasuke tugged on Naruto’s boxers with his pointer finger.

“I want to make you feel better, then.”

Naruto nodded.

“Alright.”

Sasuke kissed Naruto’s lips one last time before grabbing the lube by his bedside. Naruto pushed his ass up so that Sasuke was able to pull down his boxers, his half-erect member free to the air.

Sasuke licked it from base to tip, gently tapping his tongue stud against Naruto’s slit.

“Ahn!” Naruto moaned, clutching the blanket in his hands. He couldn’t reach Sasuke anymore.

Sasuke kissed the head of Naruto’s cock, soon after descending down on it and pumping. Sasuke hallowed his cheeks, bobbing back and forth.

Moans flooded out of his mouth like waves lapping against the shore. Even by his own standards, Naruto was being quite vocal. Maybe it was his overrun emotions. Maybe he just needed cared for.

But Sasuke wasn’t only pleasing Naruto’s body. He only wished he could hold Sasuke at this moment.

“Sasu, please…” Naruto plead. “Face the foot of the bed and move on top of me. I want to do it to you too.”

“Naruto, you don’t have to-”

Naruto so easily read into Sasuke’s concern.

“I want to make you feel good too,” Naruto interrupted. “I’m okay now.”

Sasuke paused for a moment before nodding. He slid off his own boxers and pivoted. Now Naruto could see that Sasuke was partially erect himself, despite Sasuke hardly being touched. It was doing this to Naruto that had made Sasuke hard. The thought made Naruto’s pride swell.

Gently, Naruto licked around Sasuke’s head. He took it into his mouth and sucked. Meanwhile, Sasuke repeated the very same motions against Naruto’s hard cock. Sasuke took Naruto back deeper into his mouth, sucking harder as he kept a steady rhythm. Naruto adopted the same beat.

He reached forward and gently toyed with Sasuke’s nipples. Sasuke moaned against Naruto’s manhood. The feeling of having Sasuke’s sex in his mouth, the power and intimacy, made Naruto’s blood rush.

Though Naruto’s mouth was full now, he was in no way silenced. He didn’t refrain his moans, and clearly, Sasuke didn’t mind them. It seemed that Sasuke rewarded Naruto for expressing his pleasure, sucking a bit harder, bobbing his head a bit faster. Naruto was both humiliated and aroused by how quickly he felt himself nearing his limit.

“Sasu…” he said, parting his mouth from Sasuke’s cock. “I… I’m sorry. I don’t think I can hold out much longer.”

Naruto blamed his emotional state for this. He was out of sorts.

“No, this is good,” Sasuke said, his soft lips brushing against Naruto’s length as he spoke. “Let go.”

Sasuke sucked him hard and fast, digging his free hand into Naruto’s asscheek and splaying them apart. Just the slightest bit of pain from Sasuke’s nails sent him over the edge. Naruto moaned without abandon, almost shouted. The feeling of having Sasuke’s most sensitive area in his mouth as he reached his climax was as intimate as it was erotic.

He unleashed into Sasuke’s mouth, even as his own mouth was filled with Sasuke’s cock. Sasuke didn’t back off, taking another spurt from Naruto and swallowing. Finally, Naruto’s cock fell from Sasuke’s lips with a quiet plop. Sasuke looked at Naruto sinfully as he licked away some cum that had fallen on his stomach.

Naruto moaned in appreciation, licking and kissing up and down Sasuke’s shaft.

“Naruto, hold on a moment,” Sasuke said.

Naruto couldn’t hide his disappointment when Sasuke moved away, Naruto’s mouth already missing the feel of his lover’s sex. Naruto’s head rested at the pillow, and Sasuke now moved down to sit directly underneath Naruto’s ass. Sasuke moved down and sat just where Naruto’s legs separated.

Naruto heard Sasuke squirt some lube onto his fingers. His finger ever so gently pressed against Naruto’s pucker.

“Yes…” Naruto encouraged.

Naruto felt only ecstasy as Sasuke’s lube-slicked finger easily made it past his entrance. His entire body was relaxed from his orgasm. He felt cared for. Safe. He took Sasuke in so quickly.

“Very good. Just like that,” Sasuke breathed out. “I’m putting another finger in.”

Naruto mewled as he felt his rim expand, Sasuke filling him up just a little bit more. He thrust his fingers in and out of Naruto, scissoring them as he attempted to stretch Naruto out.

“Sasuke…” Naruto panted.

He wished that he could touch Sasuke now. His hands frantically searched for something to grab on to. Sasuke picked up the pace, now entering a third finger. Naruto was already hungry for more.

“That’s it,” Sasuke encouraged. “If only you could see yourself. The way you’re opening up for me is gorgeous.”

Naruto couldn’t help but flush at Sasuke’s words.

“You can’t hide how badly you want me.”

No, he couldn’t. So he wouldn’t even begin to try.

“Sa-Sasuke…” Naruto panted.

“I want to cum inside of you,” Sasuke said. “Do you want that too?”

“God, yes,” Naruto sighed, almost moaned. “Make me forget I’m leaving. Make me forget myself.”

Naruto reached out toward Sasuke, his fingers searching feverishly. Sasuke placed Naruto’s hand on his own cheek, Sasuke’s hand over Naruto’s as he kissed Naruto’s wrist. He never broke eye contact with Naruto.

Lifting up Naruto’s legs, Sasuke put one shin over each of his shoulders. Naruto was happy to see Sasuke’s face again, the feathers of the phoenix wrapping around his shoulders. Sasuke tapped the head of his cock against Naruto’s pucker, Naruto’s muscles twitching.

“Can you feel how badly I want to do that?”

Sasuke’s length was completely hard. Naruto moaned at the realization.

“I… I made you wait so long,” Naruto said, feeling like an inconsiderate lover. “I should’ve…”

“No,” Sasuke interrupted softly. “It’s worth it.”

Naruto nodded as Sasuke kneaded the flesh of Naruto’s ass with one hand.

“Relax. Take a breath,” he reassured, pressing his head against the rim. “I’m going in now.”

Naruto took a deep breath in, Sasuke’s head finally clearing Naruto’s entrance.

“ _Yes…_ ”

Naruto was just a hair’s breadth away from incoherency. He loved the sensation of Sasuke filling him, owning him.

“Deeper, Sasu…”

Obediently, Sasuke thrust himself half way into Naruto, moving his hips in and out.

Naruto loved this position. It was traditional. Intimate. He loved seeing Sasuke’s face as Sasuke made love to him. He loved those seconds when their eyes, half-lidded from bliss, held contact.

“You feel so good, Naru,” Sasuke panted, going deeper into Naruto. “So tight.”

As Sasuke moved closer to Naruto, Naruto’s legs were forced further up. It allowed Sasuke free access to go deep into him. Long and slow strokes. Finally, Naruto took Sasuke all the way up to the hilt.

Sasuke let out a sinful moan. Maybe Sasuke had been encouraged by Naruto’s volume; he wasn’t ordinarily so vocal.

“God, yes, love…” Naruto muttered. “So… So much. So good. God, I wanna feel you in me.”

Sasuke sped up, now going fully in and out. Naruto was growing harder by the second. How Sasuke had managed to last for so long, Naruto had no idea. Probably experience. Sasuke’s stamina was almost supernatural. Ironically, that was what Naruto’s past lovers had said about _him_.

“Touch yourself,” Sasuke breathed out. “I can’t last much longer.”

Naruto abandoned all composure, frantically pumping his length. Their bodies slammed together, the loud sound of Sasuke’s hips smacking against Naruto’s ass filling the room.

“I wanna be inside you when you cum, babe.”

Sasuke’s words made him break out in goosebumps, but the word that Sasuke had called him… Even in this crazed state, it made Naruto’s heart skip a beat. It was joy, an ecstasy so massive that it bordered on pain, and love that spurred Naruto on. He wanted to give his lover anything he could ever ask for.

“I’m… I’m close, Sasuke.”

“Keep riding it,” Sasuke encouraged as he continued to slam into Naruto.

Finally, Naruto’s entire body contorted. He was seized by an orgasm that made his earlier one pale in comparison. For just the time being, everything was right with the world, and he was free of all anxiety and sadness. There was only room for pleasure in Naruto’s mind, a pleasure so great that it made Naruto forget his own name.

He shouted out Sasuke’s name as he came all over his own stomach and chest. A second, then a third spurt emptied Naruto, his entire body shaking now.

“Guh…” Sasuke huffed, continuing to thrust inside of Naruto. “Nnn…”

Sasuke hadn’t orgasmed yet. He’d held out for far too long.

“Sasu… Cum inside of me. Fill me up, love.”

“Yes…” Sasuke panted, sprinting to the finish line. “N-Naruto…”

Finally, Sasuke unleashed inside of Naruto, filled him up to the brim and over. Both of them moaned and mewled, Sasuke high on the feeling of release and Naruto buzzing with love and happiness that Sasuke would ever make him his.

Sasuke pulled out, his body gracelessly collapsing next to Naruto. Again facing each other on their sides, they kissed gingerly, both of them covered in sweat.

“Sasuke…” Naruto whispered, holding his hand.

Naruto was overwhelmed with love for the man that lay beside him. He wanted to cherish him forever, to have this be one of the many nights they’d share.

But Naruto couldn’t put any of that into words, vocabulary forsaking him.

“I know,” Sasuke answered.

Naruto had no doubt that when Sasuke spoke, he knew each and every one of his thoughts. He might as well have spoken them aloud.

He felt loved, warm, safe, and utterly exhausted.

Sleep didn’t seem so frightening to him anymore. He knew that Sasuke would be there the minute he opened his eyes.

“Naruto, if you want to fall asleep - go ahead. I’ll wake you up.”

Naruto nodded with a smile. He buried himself in Sasuke, Sasuke’s arms wrapping around Naruto. In almost no time, Naruto drifted off into a deep slumber.

* * *

“Naruto?”

Naruto’s eyelids clamped shut.

“Naruto,” the voice persisted. It was familiar. Safe.

Naruto felt his body being swayed from side to side. He finally opened his eyes.

The bedroom light was off, but the light from Sasuke’s kitchen allowed Naruto to see Sasuke’s face. Naruto groaned.

“It’s time to wake up,” Sasuke said.

It was still pitch black outside. Naruto couldn’t help the ugly, sputtering dread that crept up his stomach and throat as he realized what day it was.

“Naruto, c’mon,” Sasuke said, likely interpreting the expression on Naruto’s face.

Naruto dragged himself out of bed.

“Hungry?” Sasuke asked.

“Not at all,” Naruto muttered sleepily.

“Let’s get ready,” Sasuke said, walking toward the restroom.

“We?” Naruto asked.

“I’m coming with you to the airport.”

Naruto hadn’t even considered that Sasuke would go that far for him. He couldn’t help but smile. He could hardly express his relief.

Sasuke started up the shower, and Naruto soon after joined. He was still exhausted. He wasn’t used to being awake this early. They didn’t have much time to spare, and even if they did, Naruto wasn’t in the mood. He was glad for Sasuke’s presence as he bathed, cleansing himself of the aftermath from the night before.

They were quiet as both prepared themselves for the day ahead. After Naruto shaved and showered, he put on his combat outfit, full camou. The two of them walked toward the door, Sasuke standing in front of Naruto. Sasuke lost a few seconds to silence.

“Damn…” Sasuke muttered, taking the sight of Naruto decked out in his full gear. “You really do look the part.”

“That’s because I am,” Naruto answered in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, unsmiling.

When he wore his uniform, Naruto felt like a different person. A stronger person, one far more stoic. Someone who would never cry. After all, that’s who he’d had to become, and it would serve him well.

Sasuke stared for a few more moments as he took in the sight of Naruto. He made his way over to the fridge, taking out a brown sack.

“I put a lunch together for you,” Sasuke stated. “I know too well that you’re inept at feeding yourself.”

Naruto smiled, slightly.

“Thanks, Sasuke. Shall we get going?”

“Yeah.”

The two of them walked out the door and locked it behind them. Naruto held naught but his standard camouflage duffle bag. He’d be wearing his uniform almost exclusively in the foreseeable future, so he didn’t need much.

They were quiet as they rode the J line out of Sasuke’s place. The subways were sparse, but by no means empty. Without looking over at Naruto, Sasuke gave Naruto’s hand a gentle squeeze. Naruto felt his heart flutter, and he squeezed back. He blocked out his thoughts, everything focusing on the feel of Sasuke’s hand against his.

They made their transfer to the AirTrain without fuss. At last, Naruto walked up to the airport. The time had come.

“Your lunch,” Sasuke said, handing the bag over to Naruto.

Naruto accepted it wordlessly. They stared at each other, both speechless.

Now Naruto was feeling. Sasuke’s presence had protected him. He’d allowed himself to focus on Sasuke, his last tie to life as he knew it. But now, Sasuke would be leaving. And he had no idea when, or if, he’d ever see Sasuke again.

Now was no time for cowardice. Naruto reached forward and held Sasuke’s hand.

“Sasuke…”

He locked his eyes onto Sasuke’s, his face strong and resolute.

“I love you.”

Sasuke’s jaw dropped as he regarded Naruto with shocked eyes.

“I apologize if that overwhelms you, but I won’t see you in a very long time. I refuse to have regrets.”

In a split second, Sasuke sprung forward, wrapping his arms around Naruto and holding him tightly into his body. Seconds lingered as Sasuke held him there, either unwilling or unable to let go.

“Jesus, Naruto…”

Finally, they parted.

“You be careful. Don’t be an idiot and follow protocol.”

“Of course. I always follow the rules.”

“Bullshit,” Sasuke rebutted.

It made Naruto smile, and Sasuke couldn’t help but return it.

“You’re… You’re too good for me, Naruto,” Sasuke said, his face flat now.

Naruto knew exactly what Sasuke was talking about. It was the love that Naruto shared for Sasuke. Sasuke doubted his ability to return it.

“I think you’re a much better man than you give yourself credit for.”

Sasuke huffed. He looked around, pulling Naruto into a tucked away alcove. Sasuke kissed him, so softly and slowly that it hurt. Naruto felt his eyes burn, and… No, he couldn’t cry. Not here. Not in this uniform. But as he lingered on, he felt his civilian self peek through.

Naruto was glad that Sasuke had hidden them away. It was entirely possible that someone else from his unit could be taking the same flight. Naruto knew well that it was entirely possible to be banned from his country’s military, only because of whom he chose to love.

In their privacy, Naruto kissed him again, both of them holding each other’s hands.

“God, Sasuke, I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

They held each other, and Naruto felt his body tremble. It was okay, he reassured himself. No one could see them, and Sasuke was there. He could trust Sasuke.

“I guess this is it,” Naruto said.

“Yeah. See ya, Naruto.”

“Yeah,” Naruto answered. “See ya.”

Naruto turned away from Sasuke. He killed his thoughts, killed the tears that threatened to emerge, and marched forward. He put one foot in front of the other as he reached the check-in counter. Then to security. He didn’t look back even once. He awaited his plane with a face made of steel. He wasn’t Naruto now.

He was Uzumaki.

True to Sasuke’s prediction, Naruto felt hungry before the plane even left the ground. He picked through the meal Sasuke had packed him: a turkey sandwich, a cheese stick, and an orange. He decided to go for the orange first, removing it from the sack and clutching it in his right arm.

Naruto hardly noticed the tear that streamed down his cheek; he was breathless. He felt love, longing, loneliness, and strength, provided to him at the time when he needed it the most.

The wheels of the plane parting with the ground still made his gut sink. Naruto closed his eyes, imagining that Sasuke had followed him on the plane as well and was sitting right next to him. He felt Sasuke’s presence with him now.

The orange was tattooed with a masterful black scrawl.

“Good luck.”


	20. The New Normal

“Ey, can’t you read?”

Only now did Sasuke notice the sign directly in his line of vision that read, “CASH ONLY.”

“Ah… Sorry,” he answered, grabbing a twenty out of his wallet and handing it to the fat-fingered cashier.

It wasn’t like him to apologize to someone, least of all after they disrespected him. He knew he was out of sorts. He felt dizzy, almost as if he were dreaming. Maybe it was the shitty sleep he’d been getting over the last week. He’d never tried to deceive himself; he knew that today was going to suck.

It was funny. It felt as though so much had changed for him today, but at the same time, everything was exactly as it had been only a couple months ago. He’d go to work today with his staff, see his same customers, and go back to his loft. Then rinse and repeat.

His breakfast burrito tasted bland. Sasuke didn’t feel hungry, but he knew he should eat if he wanted to pass for a coherent person at work today. He picked away at it unenthusiastically as he sipped at his coffee.

He hadn’t expected Naruto to confess to him. Naruto’s love for him was nothing that Sasuke hadn’t already been suspecting, perhaps since even before Naruto realized it. It wasn’t the first time someone had claimed love for him, but hearing Naruto speak those three words did strange things to him.

Immediately after Naruto spoke to him, his composure slipped. It was eerie to Sasuke. He generally had perfect control of his facial expression and his mind; he would have made a fantastic poker player. The lack of control made him feel like he was in a car with no brakes, barrelling down the highway.

His lip quivered, and for one uncomfortable moment, he wasn’t sure what he was feeling, or what his body would decide to do. It was safest to hide himself from Naruto’s sight as quickly as possible.

Without hesitation, he pulled Naruto into his body and wrapped himself around the larger man. Naruto was bound to interpret this as an act of affection, which it was in part. It served multiple purposes. Sasuke felt reassured that he was able to keep his expression level after all, even hidden from Naruto.

Outside of the bedroom, he hadn’t felt his heart beat so hard in well over a decade.

He was able to catch an hour or two of sleep before the shop opened at noon. He was thankful that his exhaustion was enough to knock him out, because that was by no means a given. He nursed his gargantuan thermos of coffee throughout the day.

Sasuke tried not to think about Naruto while he was at work, and he was mostly successful. His ability to concentrate was unrivaled, a necessary adaptation for his career. But as he spent his lunch break at Grinds, he found himself lost in thought. The sight of Naruto, unsmiling, stony-eyed, and in full combat attire, clung to his consciousness.

It was the damnedest thing. When Naruto wore his uniform, it almost felt as though a stranger stood before him. Naruto’s entire demeanor changed. His speech was different, the smile left his face, and his voice even sounded a little lower.

When Naruto made his stupid jokes and acted like a hopeless sap, it was so easy for Sasuke to forget that he was a Marine. But as Naruto stood in front of him that morning, and as Sasuke left him at that airport, he’d never be able to forget. Naruto was powerful and strong, likely capable of killing someone with his bare hands. He’d operated everything from tanks to machine guns. This was another version of Naruto, no less real than any other part of him.

It was true that Naruto didn’t really know him. Yet despite all of Naruto’s past that he’d shared with Sasuke, he got the feeling that he didn’t know Naruto much better.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone’s ringtone.

“Mn?”

“Hey, Sasuke.”

It was Shikamaru. Leave it to him to remember something like this. He only wished that Shikamaru would show that level of effort in other parts of his life.

“Hey.”

“What’s up?”

Sasuke sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

“You know damned well what’s up.”

Sasuke knew that Shikamaru was calling to check up on him. He wondered why he worried so much.

“Wanna hang out?”

“Not today. I have shit to do.”

“Like what?” Shikamaru responded in a tone laden with skepticism.

“Like drawing. And enjoying my privacy.”

“Mn, Sasuke…”

“I’ve been alone for 13 years, and you question my ability to do so now?” Sasuke asked with a smirk. “I’ve been around people too much. I need to recharge.”

This was nothing new for Sasuke. He frequently felt overheated if he socialized too often.

“Fair,” Shikamaru acquiesced.

They’d been seeing each other less often lately, and they’d both committed not to let so much time pass in the future.

“Maybe next week,” Sasuke added, thinking back on that commitment.

“Yeah. Later,” Shikamaru replied.

Sasuke had always loved how quickly Shikamaru could say goodbye.

“Later.”

* * *

 

Sasuke didn’t see any notable improvement over the following week. He hadn’t heard from Naruto even once. Late at night, sometimes he’d wonder if his phone would ring. After all, Naruto said that he’d take advantage of Sasuke’s peculiar sleeping schedule.

Naruto would call him when he was ready to, Sasuke told himself. It was just a matter of time, so he wouldn’t allow himself to worry. Surely, Naruto was busy settling into his new home. He was acclimatizing to another world. But it was odd that Sasuke’s days felt a little lonely and purposeless now.

Sleep came even less easily to him than it normally did. The bags under his eyes had become so pronounced that he’d even started to wear concealer again. Sasuke knew he was having one of his spells. This was rough, but he’d had far worse.

Tonight, he went through a list of sleeping positions longer than the Kama Sutra. It was almost winter, but somehow the pillow felt too hot. He’d slept on his industrial piercing the wrong way a couple of nights before, and the pain was just enough to coerce him to shift into another position as soon as he became comfortable.

His phone rang. Sasuke didn’t recognize the number.

“Hello?”

“Sasuke!”

Sasuke didn’t expect his breath to catch in his throat like it did.

“How ya holdin’ up, bastard?” Naruto asked, and Sasuke could imagine that bigass grin on Naruto’s face.

“Not bad. You?”

Not technically a lie, Sasuke thought. It depends on one’s definition of “bad.”

“Ehhh…” Naruto said. “Welp, it’s hot as balls out, that’s for sure. And like… My plane got stuck in a storm on the way to Camp Lejeune! It was all shakin’, like a fuckin’ rollercoaster or something.”

Naruto was speaking quickly.

“Interesting.”

Sasuke loved hearing the enthusiasm in Naruto’s voice. He sounded happy.

“And I got to see everyone from training! Everyone’s super impressed by my tat, by the way. I was flexin’ and everything. Then Neji said I was trying too hard. But what the fuck does he know?”

Naruto was speaking at a mile a minute. Sasuke let him continue.

“I told them my girlfriend did it. Heh.”

“So I’m your girlfriend now, huh?” Sasuke teased, biting on his lip piercing.

He wasn’t truly offended. He understood the situation.

“Yeeeah, that’s the way it’s gotta be.”

“Kind of fucked up.”

The fact that Naruto could be discharged from the military for something as simple as dating him pissed Sasuke off. If it were him, he never would have hidden such things. In general, he refused to follow orders unless he saw a point to them. He had the grit for it, but he knew he’d make a shitty Marine. Obedience certainly was not his strong suit, nor did Sasuke ever want it to be.

“Right? What the fuck kinda business is it of theirs who I wanna do in the bedroom?”

Sasuke noticed that Naruto was swearing more often than usual. It didn’t surprise him, given his new environment.

“Can’t someone hear this?” he asked dully.

Naruto had explained to Sasuke earlier that someone would monitor their calls at all times. Neither knew how much this person would be paying attention.

“Yeah,” Naruto confessed. “But I’m not gonna spend my whole goddamned deployment talking to you like you’re just a friend. I have to draw a line somewhere. So dude or dudette on the other side, if you’re gonna kick me for that, better make it quick.”

Sasuke smirked, amused by Naruto’s tiny rebellion.

“Though you’re certainly pretty enough to be a girl,” Naruto teased. “You just need to work on your voice.”

Sasuke’s brow twitched.

“Got a death wish?”

“Hmmm. Maybe. I’m here, aren’t I?”

Naruto’s warped sense of humor was beginning to grow on him.

“That you are.”

Naruto paused.

“They also noticed all the hickeys you left on me.”

Sasuke couldn’t help but give a satisfied smirk. He’d laid claim to Naruto, and he wanted people knowing that.

“They were all like, ‘Way to go, Uzumaki!’”

“Charming.”

“Heh,” Naruto laughed sheepishly.

“What have you been doing, anyway?”

“Nothin’ much,” Naruto answered. “I’ve been standing guard. The most interesting thing was going to the local market. So cool!”

“Oh?”

Sasuke found himself smiling, just slightly.

“Yeah! They yell a lot here. It doesn’t mean they’re mad. That’s how they sell stuff, I guess? And there are so many types of food! They also eat parts of the animal here that we usually wouldn’t. Like intestines.”

“Sounds delicious,” Sasuke replied flatly.

“Heh…”

A silence fell, and it lingered there for a few seconds.

“I really miss you,” Naruto said, with a sheepish laugh toward the end.

“Yeah… I miss you too.”

Sasuke was tempted to say nothing, but he knew that there was no hiding this fact from Naruto.

“Heh!” Naruto said, clearly uplifted by that sentiment. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you earlier. Settling in has been really hectic, and-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sasuke interrupted. “I’m fine. Get acclimatized and hang out with your friends.”

“Mnnn…” Naruto groaned. “But I miss you a lot. It’s hard not to call you when I know that you miss me too.”

Sasuke frowned. This hadn’t been his intent when he’d told Naruto that he missed him.

“It’s not good to think about me too much.”

After all, it wouldn’t bring Sasuke any closer to him. Sasuke held the same mentality for himself. Thinking about Naruto would only bring him pain. In time, he’d be able to think about Naruto less and less. Then his sleeping schedules would go back to normal, or at least normal by his standards. He’d be his old self again.

The wound would heal, and when Naruto returned, they would start where they left off. He wished that Naruto would do the same. Naruto had told him that Sasuke would be his hope. He wished that Naruto could have found something less disappointing to hope for. He knew that he’d let Naruto down. The deeper Naruto loved, the worse he’d get hurt. It was only a matter of time.

“Why not?” Naruto asked. “It makes me happy.”

He paused for a moment. He didn’t know what to say to that.

“Mushy…” Sasuke diverted.

“Heh,” Naruto answered.

He’d won over Sasuke just now, and Naruto’s tone made it apparent that he’d realized this.

“How have you been sleeping?” Naruto added.

Of course, Naruto was thinking of him, even at a time like this.

“Good enough. You?”

It was horrible, actually, although not far out of the norm for Sasuke.

“A little better now,” Naruto replied. “It was shitty at first because of the time difference.”

Just as Sasuke was readying himself to speak, he heard someone speak besides Naruto.

“Yeah…” Naruto said quietly. “I will… Pft, in your dreams, jackass.”

Sasuke couldn’t decipher what the other party was saying, but he thought he could hear them laugh.

“Sasuke?”

“Mn?”

“I gotta go. I’ll call you as soon as I can, okay?”

“Take it easy,” Sasuke answered. “Well, later.”

“Later.”

Sasuke sighed as he heard a click, and then a dial tone.

* * *

Sasuke considered it a personal victory that he’d convinced Shikamaru to meet him at his place, rather than the other way around. Their places lay a half hour subway ride apart, and generally, they only visited each other whenever they happened to be in the area. They could go months without seeing each other, but whenever they did, they picked up exactly where they left off.

Shikamaru had been pressing heavily for them to meet, and it didn’t take a genius to realize why. Perhaps this was the reason Shikamaru agreed to endure roughly thirty minutes of public transportation. Given his lazy temperament, he must have truly been concerned. This confused Sasuke just as much as it frustrated him. Shouldn’t Shikamaru know that he could easily handle something so basic?

Though he couldn’t deny that he was gladder to see Shikamaru than he ordinarily was. Given how much time he’d spent with Naruto over the past several weeks, it wasn’t a surprise that he felt that he didn’t know what to do with some of his free time now. It had been two weeks since Naruto had left. It wasn’t necessarily _all_ about Naruto, Sasuke told himself. He’d never devoted much time to socialization, so it was an adjustment to return to his standard habits.

He’d taken to refreshing his German, as his text tattoo convention was in Berlin in a couple of months. He’d finished _Die Verwandlung_ , which carried just the slightest memories of Naruto, as he’d discussed it with him that one early morning. He thought that _Berlin Alexanderplatz_ would be a good warm up. It offered a close look at the Weimar Republic’s extravagant past, with the Great Depression lurking around the corner. Sasuke had traveled to Berlin several times before for this convention, but he enjoyed knowing the city’s history as he walked its streets and museums.

He’d also begun to draw animal life and tried his hand at watercolors. Ally, Naruto’s beloved guitar, sat in the corner of his living room. He’d tucked it away, farther behind the couch, though still prominent. He tried to deny the bittersweet pang in his chest when his eyes fell upon it. He couldn’t find it in him to play the guitar, but he couldn’t find it in him to hide it either.

After Sasuke opened the door for Shikamaru, he wordlessly sat at the dining room table.

“Hungry?”

Shikamaru shrugged.

“I’m a little under the weather, so I don’t feel like eating.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” Sasuke snapped. “I can’t afford to catch it.”

The last thing he wanted was to miss work. With the horrible sleep he’d been getting, he knew that he was particularly susceptible to illness.

“Chill. I’m not contagious anymore.”

“What do you have?”

“It’s just a bad cold,” Shikamaru answered.

“It’s cold out. You should’ve waited to see me until you felt better,” Sasuke replied crossly.

The late November indeed had a bite to it. They’d already had their first dusting of snow. The slightest smile on Shikamaru’s face told him that he read into Sasuke’s nobler intentions, not that this was any surprise.

“I’m fine. I see you’ve taken up the guitar?”

Shikamaru was quick to notice any change in Sasuke’s surroundings. It was a little creepy, actually.

“You’ve talked about that before,” Shikamaru remarked. “I’m glad to see you’re finally pursuing it.”

Sasuke grunted, saying under his breath, “It’s not mine.”

Shikamaru perked a brow.

“Then whose is it?”

“It’s Naruto’s,” Sasuke replied. “He’s sentimental and didn’t want it to get dusty in storage. He said I could use it to learn while he’s away.”

Shikamaru leaned forward on the table, placing his elbow on the edge and resting his face in his hand.

“Yeah. How have you been, anyway?”

Of course. This was where Shikamaru had wanted to go at the very beginning.

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to,” Sasuke said dully.

Sasuke wasn’t stupid. He knew where Shikamaru was going with this. Shikamaru smirked.

“Not even going to try to hide it, huh?”

“No,” Sasuke replied. “I’m not in the habit of lying to myself.”

Sasuke leaned back, his posture relaxed as he crossed his arms.

“You don’t need to worry about me. It’s only been two weeks.”

This had all been expected. It was a drastic change, so of course he’d need time to adjust.

“Who said I was worrying about you?” Shikamaru asked, arching his brows.

“Bullshit,” Sasuke said simply.

It wasn’t like Shikamaru to go through the hassle of making it to Sasuke’s place, least of all when he was sick. Didn’t Shikamaru know that he was stronger than this?

“Tsk,” Shikamaru replied. “How’ve you been sleeping?”

Sasuke assumed that Shikamaru had noticed that he was wearing foundation. If Shikamaru was really looking for it, he’d be able to see that Sasuke’s eyes had gotten puffy, and his body didn’t carry the energy it normally did.

“Shitty.”

He knew that this was obvious to Shikamaru. Though to his credit, Sasuke thought, there were many different variations of “shitty.”

“I know I’m kind of fucked up right now. We spent a lot of time together, and things moved fast, especially toward the end,” Sasuke told Shikamaru.

He knew that he needed to address this, and hiding his situation from Shikamaru was futile. Shikamaru could read him clearly, and being secretive would only make him worry more.

“But we’ve only known each other for a couple months. I can’t imagine it’ll take longer than a month or two for me to go back to normal.”

The time he shared with Naruto had been short. He knew that he’d always miss Naruto to some extent, but what came on quickly would leave quickly as well. He was sure that given some time, the pain would almost disappear. He’d miss Naruto idly, and he’d hope for his return. But it wouldn’t disturb his life as it had these past two weeks.

“It doesn’t always work that way,” Shikamaru told him with a frown.

Sasuke grunted, “I’m not your typical person.”

Shikamaru was giving Sasuke one of his intense stares, their eyes now locked. Sasuke looked back at Shikamaru defiantly, his expression challenging Shikamaru and saying that he had nothing to hide.

“No,” Shikamaru answered with a shrug. “I suppose you’re not.”

* * *

Naruto couldn’t make out any of the yelling he heard, though he knew that they were all solicitations for business. The weather was cool and cloudy; they were heading into winter. The smell of meats, at varying degrees of freshness, filled the open air. There were kebabs, doners, raw meat, sea bass...

Civilians made their way through the small paths with wheelbarrows full of produce, vegetables, rugs, spices, and other items. This was his first time going to the main market in town. Over the three weeks since he’d left, they’d mostly frequented small shacks and markets on the outskirts. It was a Saturday morning, and the streets were crammed with people, Naruto’s broad shoulders making it difficult for him to navigate the crowd.

He’d peeled away from his battalion for a short time to buy a dolma, though they were still in his line of sight. Before going to the market, he’d had no desire to eat one, but as soon as he saw the scrumptious lamb wrapped in grape leaves, his stomach fell in love. He’d only seen vegetable options up until now.

He took a bite and let out an unchecked, “Mmmm…”

And then he heard a child laughing. Naruto didn’t realize that anyone was watching him, the child’s short stature leaving him unnoticed by Naruto until now.

“Hello, Mr. America!” the child said in his heavy accent, waving with a beaming grin.

He was small and thin, dark-skinned with spiky brown hair and dimples. He couldn’t have been any older than twelve. He had a rolling ice chest by his legs.

“Gatorade, two for fifty Afghanis,” the boy said, opening his chest and pointing to his assortment of beverages. “You can have Afghan cola for only thirty Afghanis. You will like. Great price!”

“Ah…” Naruto couldn’t help but want to buy from a child. He searched his wallet for the proper bills.

“You have American dollar?” the kid asked. “I give you three drinks for one American dollar!”

It seemed that he noticed the dollar bill Naruto had in his wallet.

“Here you go!” Naruto said with a big grin, giving it to the child.

“That’s my man!” the kid answered. “What flavor you like? Fruit punch?”

“May I?” Naruto asked, pointing to the drinks.

“Of course!”

The boy moved his hands away from the ice chest, granting Naruto access. He grabbed a grape Gatorade and two blue ones. He didn’t check the flavor before grabbing them.

“I’m Konohamaru,” the boy said. “I live thirty minutes walk from this square. What is your name?”

“My name is Naruto!” Naruto beamed. “Uzumaki Naruto.”

Konohamaru nodded.

“You have such yellow hair and blue eyes, like Captain America. Very strong American, not fat.”

“Ah…” Naruto replied sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “Thank you, I guess. People have told me that I look a tiny bit like him.”

“Then I call you Captain America! You like it? If not, too bad!”

“I like it. It’s nice to meet you, Konohamaru,” Naruto smiled, extending his hand.

Konohamaru gladly shook it.

“I come to this market almost every day to sell drinks, sometimes my neighbor’s cooking. But I don’t tell them. It’s a secret.”

Naruto chuckled. This land had been so foreign to him, but there were some similarities. He supposed that people were the same everywhere. Something about being around children filled Naruto with hope and reassurance. It quelled his anxieties, which he’d hidden all too well from his battalion.

Naruto noticed his friends slowly moving away.

“I gotta go,” he said, gesturing towards the large group of Marines. “But I’ll definitely be back!”

“Come back soon! I have more great prices next time!” the boy shouted as Naruto left.

Naruto waved back, jogging up to his friends.

He joined the ranks with Neji, Lee, and Tenten. All of them were dressed in full combat uniform; they almost always were.

“What were you doing over there?” Neji asked curiously.

“Ah, a kid was selling Gatorade. I have an extra two. Want to fight for it?” Naruto said, grinning at his three closest friends.

“No, don’t worry! I don’t need it, so there’s one for each of us. Naruto, it’s so kind of you to share!” Lee beamed.

“Give me one of those. I’m thirsty as hell,” Tenten said, reaching out for one of the blue raspberries.

“I don’t need one either,” Neji added. “It’s basically sugar water.”

Neji had discerning tastes, to say the least. He kept his body well, and he spent a good two minutes bitching to the three of them about how he’d once again been forced to chop off his long, brown hair for the Corps. Neji showed them a picture; he was right, that was some damned nice hair. The measly two inches he was allowed did nothing to console him.

“Aw, don’t be such a snob,” Naruto whined. “You sound just like my girlfriend.”

He did find them to be similar in some ways. Both were quiet and carried an air of effortless dignity. Even their movements were similarly graceful and efficient. They radiated confidence, were meticulous about their body and appearance, and yes, they could be royal snobs. This both annoyed and reassured Naruto.

“I think it’s okay, Neji,” Lee pitched in helpfully. “We need fuel!”

“Speaking of this girlfriend…” Tenten started with a mischievous smile. “When are we going to see some pictures?”

“Heh heh,” Naruto laughed nervously, not sure of what to say.

He should’ve thought this through. Maybe he should’ve claimed that those hickeys were from a fling. It was only natural that his friends were curious about his significant other, especially since all three of them were single. He knew that Tenten had no intention of being nosey; it was an innocent question. He wished that they could somehow understand his situation without Naruto needing to tell them his secret.

For the time being, the only remedy that Naruto could think of was talking about Sasuke less often.

“I don’t have anything right now. She’s camera shy.”

Tenten raised a brow, not looking convinced.

“Ah!” Lee answered. “She doesn’t feel badly about her body, does she? I’m sure she’s absolutely stunning!”

“She is…” Naruto trailed off dreamily.

He noticed that Tenten was now smiling, appeased for now.

“You tell her how beautiful she is, right?” Lee asked. “Every time you talk to her?”

Naruto resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Sasuke knew damned well that he was gorgeous, but Naruto wasn’t about to turn down his exit route.

“Of course!”

“It’s quite a sad situation for you,” Lee empathized. “If I had someone back home, I would sleep with her picture by my side every night! It would be my most prized possession.”

“Maybe I’ll be lucky soon,” Naruto beamed at the three of them.

They walked farther down the dirt road. They had to speak loudly now; the marketplace was very loud.

“Naruto, do you think I could have a Gatorade?” Lee asked tentatively.

“Sure!” Naruto answered, offering Lee his pick.

“Take the one you want, Naruto,” Lee smiled back.

“No, you take the one you want!”

“That’s really nice of you, but you’re the one who bought them! It should be your choice,” Lee reasoned.

“Aw, are you sure?” Naruto asked.

He would’ve preferred to give Lee the choice. He liked seeing his friends happy.

“Definitely!”

Well, Naruto did have his eyes on the grape one… He took it for himself. Soon enough, the three of them were guzzling down their beverages, with Neji quietly walking beside them.

Naruto heard the Adhan resound throughout the marketplace, a loud voice singing praises to Allah in Arabic from loudspeakers in an unseen mosque’s minarets. Five times every day, the Imam at the closest mosque would sing this call to prayer, his voice amplified by a speaker so strong that he could be heard for miles. Sometimes Naruto could hear it the instant the sun rose above the horizon, the faintest light of dawn brightening the dark behind his eyelids as this foreign land’s spiritualism awoke him.

About half of the denizens of the market lowered themselves to the ground, praying toward Mecca. They rested on their knees and their forearms, rears slightly lifted as their faces nearly touched the ground. A few others prayed silently to themselves as they stood, and the remaining went about their business as usual with hushed voices.

Naruto had expected only pain and suffering, and at best boredom, to await him in Afghanistan. But he had friends here, and the children roamed the city and played throughout the countryside. Those children’s laughter sounded the same as that of the kids who would galavant outside of Mugs as he poured their parents’ drinks.

It was true that he’d yet to encounter any violence. He dreaded seeing others in pain, American and Afghan alike. But this world, despite its unfamiliar scents, food, culture, and language, was not so unlike his own. People would laugh and go about their days as they did in Manhattan. Children played the same way, and people prayed.

Maybe the base didn’t have to be just where he rested his head at night. As he walked, he looked over at Lee, Neji, and Tenten, the three of them bantering quietly. Perhaps adjusting to this place wouldn’t be so difficult after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed! I was so encouraged by the great reception that my last chapter got.
> 
> Since I left you on a massive cliffy, I especially wanted this update to be timely. I'm working full-time and am now undergoing the job hunt at the same time, so to say I'll have a busy schedule is an understatement. But I certainly intend to keep my updates regular.
> 
> By the way, Adhans are quite beautiful, and they were a constant fixture during my time in Istanbul and Cairo (nostalgic!). I've included a link so you can listen to one too.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_LN0hznp-A


	21. River City

“Reisepass?”

Sasuke quickly showed his passport to the slender woman, who stamped it and sent Sasuke on his way. Sasuke walked forward with purpose toward his U-Bahn stop, which connected Berlin through a series of quickly moving trains. It was like New York’s subway system, but cleaner.

A gentle snow was falling from the sky, Sasuke’s thin scarf offering him mild protection from the cold. This was actually a respite from the weather in New York, which had dipped well into the negatives. It was an unseasonably cold February for Manhattan.

It had been three months since he’d last seen Naruto’s face, but to Sasuke it felt much more distant. He returned to his old routine quite naturally, picking up his old hobbies and spending his time as he used to. Slowly but surely, the edge wore off. He slept even better than he usually had. Shikamaru’s concern had been well-intentioned but unnecessary. If anything, he felt as though he was a happier person than he was before Naruto had come into his life.

Yet he felt a warmth in his chest every time he heard Naruto’s voice. When Sasuke truly searched himself, during his particularly long and sleepless nights, he found that there was the faintest buzzing of anxiety under his surface that was hidden throughout the day. Sasuke knew that such trials left marks on minds as well as bodies. He worried for both.

Naruto could have been hiding things from Sasuke, but Sasuke still heard Naruto’s innocence so clearly in his voice. Naruto’s dogged insistence that he simply “knew” about who Sasuke was had begun to make sense to Sasuke. He somehow knew with confidence that Naruto had made it this far, for the most part, unscathed. Every time he heard Naruto’s voice, he was reassured of this.

Sasuke had told Naruto about the tattoo convention several weeks ago. This had been an annual event for the last three years for Sasuke, and this would be the fourth he’d attended. There was one significant change, however: none other than Deidara had been the one to personally invite him.

Indubitably, Deidara was the most coveted tattooist at the entire convention, and for good reason. The man was talented, enough for Sasuke to allow him to tattoo his entire back. He had utmost respect for Deidara as an artist, and so with some reluctance, he agreed to sit on a panel with Deidara, hosted by one of the most well-respected trade publications in the industry.

At conventions, tattooists would put a day or two aside to work on clients from all around the world. Sasuke’s appointments had filled up six months beforehand, with people traveling from anywhere from Kenya to Thailand to Peru. With each coming year, Sasuke sold out earlier. Deidara was booked not only for this year, but also for the next year’s convention. It was insanity.

Deidara had monetized his image like none other in the industry. He had his own branded clothing, cologne, perfume, and tattoo and piercing care products. His picture constantly adorned the face of trade magazines, and he was even securing recognition from the general public through his merchandise.

This was the last thing Sasuke saw or wanted for himself. He believed fame to be one of the worst side effects of success. Deidara flocked to it, but Sasuke wanted only respect and recognition for his work. He didn’t care if anyone knew his face. In fact, he preferred them not to; people tended to be enamored by his appearance, and it was not what he wanted to be known for. He was an artist, not a celebrity or a model.

Flying into the Tegel airport was always stressful. It had taken him over an hour just to clear customs and immigrations. His phone rang, and he knew it was Naruto. Now that he’d arrived in Germany, their time zones were a mere three hours apart. Sasuke quickly answered as he rolled his suitcase over to one of the few empty benches.

“Hey,” Sasuke answered.

“Sasuke!” Naruto answered enthusiastically. “Did ya land?”

“Yeah, just got through customs and immigration.”

“Phew!” Naruto answered.

Sasuke found it ironic, if not somewhat endearing, that Naruto had been so concerned about his arrival. Sasuke wasn’t the one living in an active warzone.

“How was your flight?” Naruto added.

“Good. Boring.”

“Ah, I suppose that’s a good thing. I wish I had more time to talk!” Naruto lamented. “I only have five minutes.”

Despite the fact that Naruto was keeping Sasuke from reaching his U-Bahn stop, he found this disappointing.

“You miss me too much?”

“Please,” Naruto answered sarcastically. “I _always_ miss you too much.”

“How could you not?” Sasuke teased.

“Ugh, get over yourself,” Naruto rebutted, but he was laughing.

Sasuke smirked in response.

“So, what’re you doing?” Naruto asked. “The convention starts tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke answered. “The panel’s tomorrow. For the next couple days, I’ll be doing appointments.”

“Daaamn,” Naruto sighed. “That’s so cool that you’re doing that, with Deidara no less. Like, even some people in the battalion have heard of him.”

“Not surprising.”

“I said it before, but you’re gonna be famous in no time!”

“Ugh,” Sasuke groaned. “I’d rather clean toilets.”

Naruto gave one of his deep belly laughs.

“Then you better stop being so good at your job.”

“Maybe I should come up with a pseudonym.”

“Oh! I can help ya with that,” Naruto said, and Sasuke so clearly imagined the impish grin he must be wearing. “How about I-Know-Everything Bastardface? The Ink-Quilled Porcupine?”

“You’re fired.”

More rolling laughter from Naruto.

“What’s your schedule? I don’t want to bug you while you’re working.”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll put the phone on mute if I can’t be disturbed.”

“I can’t wait to hear how the panel goes!”

“It won’t be particularly interesting,” Sasuke shrugged. “Just a bunch of Q&A.”

He knew that his reputation was at stake here. But he was skilled, competent, and had great stage presence when he needed to. He was sure that this would come across during the panel, so he felt nothing but confidence.

He heard a male voice over somewhere in the distance, sounding a little impatient.

“Yeah, stuff it, Neji. I’m almost done,” Naruto said. “I gotta go, Sasuke. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Good luck!”

“Yeah, later,” Sasuke said, shutting off his phone.

Only now did Sasuke notice that he’d received a text. It must’ve been sent while he was still in the air.

“I’m assuming you’ve landed.”

It was Deidara.

“Yeah. I’m going to the hotel,” Sasuke answered.

“I’m going out to dinner with Sasori. Want to come?”

Sasuke tilted his head, a little surprised by Deidara’s offer. They’d eaten together on multiple occasions, but Deidara only invited him after them working together at the convention. This was more direct.

Sasuke supposed he could do with getting his mind off of things. He accepted. Over the next three hours, he checked into his hotel and freshened up for dinner. Schneeweiß was a classy establishment, focusing on German cuisine but also venturing out into Eastern European dishes. Sasuke dressed his best, wearing a navy blazer with a tightly fitting black shirt underneath.

He navigated to the restaurant via U-Bahn, all of his German quickly coming back to him now. He was glad that almost everyone in Berlin spoke English, but it was convenient to easily understand intercom announcements and signs. He’d improved a great deal since last year’s convention.

The restaurant was adorned with white walls and white tables, minimalistic and chic. Other than the whiteness being a little blinding for Sasuke, he adored the style. He found Deidara and Sasori sitting at a table on the other side of the restaurant. He began to walk for it, but a server took it upon themselves to lead Sasuke to the spot.

Deidara wore strong eyeliner, and his hair was every bit as long and blond as it had always been. It was an androgynous style, and Deidara pulled it off very well. He wore a long button-down top, but he’d rolled up the cuffs so that his inked forearms showed. He’d unbuttoned the top, Deidara’s muscular chest showing through.

He’d wanted to show off, quite obviously. The guy had a fanbase now, and not only for his work. Sasori was dressed similarly, his bright red hair announcing him. They sat at a table in the corner with four chairs.

“Long time no see, Sasuke!” Deidara called out in his heavy German accent.

He moved forward to hug Sasuke, who remained as tense as a pole.

“I forgot how stiff you are,” Deidara teased. “Such a large bubble you have around you.”

Sasuke shrugged, taking a seat as Deidara followed suit.

“You have a short memory,” Sasuke countered.

“Ah, you wouldn’t be the first to say that.”

“Welcome, Sasuke,” Sasori added, reaching out his hand and shaking Sasuke’s.

“Thanks.”

“How was your flight?” Sasori asked.

“Fine. How was your drive?”

Sasori was coming in from Frankfurt, another German town which always reminded Sasuke of Manhattan and its financial district whenever he’d visit.

“There was some snow,” Sasori said with a shrug. “I got in yesterday and took it easy today.”

Soon enough, the waiter took their orders and provided them with plates full of schnitzel, sausages, sauerkraut, red cabbage, spaetzle, and Sasuke’s personal favorite, sauerbraten. They’d make it a feast. And of course, Germany’s unmatched beer was a staple at their table.

Sasuke tended to fill quickly, but after ten hours of flying, he was famished. They’d been idly chatting before the food arrived, though as they ate, the group became quieter. Sasuke wasn’t a fan of small talk, but he knew that connections were valuable in any industry. Given enough motivation, he could tread those waters gracefully.

“Have you thought about what you’re going to say at the panel?” Deidara asked.

The three of them would be making up the panel. Sasori and Deidara had both done this multiple times. He was the newcomer.

“Somewhat,” Sasuke answered. “Considering panels from previous years, I already know what to say. It’s best to speak naturally.”

“Speak from the heart, huh, Sasuke?” Deidara asked. “That’s how it’s done!”

Sasuke didn’t know if he’d put it that way. He just preferred to be genuine, and he’d always been an articulate person who thought quickly on his feet. He’d never had any qualms about speaking in front of people, though it wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time.

“You don’t seem nervous,” Sasori said.

“That’s because I’m not.”

“Bullshit,” Deidara countered. “You have to be a _little_ nervous.”

Clearly, those two had been nervous their first times, Sasuke realized. Sasuke had actually searched for nervousness in himself, and he found none. He knew his material and had mounds of experience to speak from. He also was not one to cave under pressure. He’d been in far, far more unsettling situations than this one.

“Say that to me again once the panel’s over,” Sasuke said simply.

Deidara formed an O with his mouth, laughing at Sasuke’s attitude. Sasori snickered.

“Damn, you are bold,” Deidara said. “I love it.”

They went through several rounds of beer as they talked into the night.

“You know,” Deidara said to Sasuke, leaning on his elbow at the table. “Your art has been impeccable from the start, Sasuke. But I can see that you are really branching into new styles. You’ve gotten so much depth over the past couple years.”

In normal conversation, Deidara would never be able to fluster Sasuke. But for Deidara to compliment Sasuke’s work so strongly… Given how much Sasuke respected Deidara as an artist, it meant something to him.

“Thank you.”

“I’d thought about bringing you on the panel before, but the new feudal work you’ve been coming out with pushed me over the edge. You could be big.”

Sasuke shrugged.

“I don’t care about getting big. I want to hone my craft, and one of the best ways to do that is to connect with others in the community.”

Deidara scrunched up his face, as if he’d just eaten something sour.

“Mah, you’re always so serious, Sasuke,” Deidara answered, his voice slurring slightly from the alcohol. “Have some fun! Being famous can be a pain in the ass, but it’s a pretty sweet deal.”

“I have mixed feelings on fame,” Sasori intercepted. “I don’t like people managing my personal affairs. But the money is great, and your name opens so many doors.”

Sasori did have his own name. He’d taken the front page of one of the largest trade magazines before and had his own aftercare products, but he didn’t appeal to the general masses like Deidara did.

“I enjoy my privacy,” Sasuke said simply. “I’m appreciative that I’ve found a place in the artist community.”

Sasuke did want to keep his connections with the global tattooist community open. It was pivotal in staying abreast in his field, and honestly, in running his business.

They’d been sitting together for almost two hours now. They’d waltzed around a dozen topics, and the alcohol had helped Sasuke look more like he actually enjoyed being there. It wasn’t that he didn’t; people just tended to interpret his stoicism as indifference. He liked talking to Deidara and Sasori about different inks and irons models on the market, different body art trends that were spreading the world.

Sasori at last looked at his watch.

“I have to be leaving,” he said. “I’ll see you two tomorrow, yes?”

“Auf Wiedersehen!” Deidara said, waving.

“Later,” Sasuke added.

Sasori quickly made his way out of the restaurant. Now it was just Sasuke and Deidara, sitting directly in front of each other. He’d gotten beers with Deidara and fellow artists before, and Deidara and he had had plenty of private conversations. Yet this was the most intimate setting that they had ever been in together since Deidara had tattooed his back.

“Well, Sasuke, it’s been a year. And you are just as sober of a drunk as ever.”

Deidara was notably buzzed, his pale face flushed with a bit of red. He was laughing more loudly than he normally did, though he certainly wasn’t smashed.

Last convention, a running joke has been established around Sasuke’s ability to appear perfectly sober no matter how much alcohol was involved. They’d dubbed him “the sober drunk.”

“Please, you can’t tell me that you’re still sober.”

Truth be told, he was plenty buzzed, though not quite drunk.

“I’d be lying if I said I felt no different.”

Deidara laughed.

“I knew it! See, you can loosen up when you really want to.”

Sasuke shrugged.

“I’m perfectly relaxed. I just don’t express it the way that you do.”

“Ya know, a lot of people get nervous around me, considering my status,” Deidara started. “But never you. Not even when you were a rookie.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“It’d take one hell of a lot more than this to make me nervous.”

“Oh?” Deidara asked, grinning. “And what does make you nervous?”

“Nothing that you’re capable of,” Sasuke countered.

Deidara rested his palm on the table as he continued to laugh.

“You really are a live wire! But I wonder about that.”

“Is that a threat?” Sasuke asked in an easygoing tone, arching his brow.

“Oh, it doesn’t have to be. I just think it’d be fun to make you nervous.”

Sasuke arched a brow at Deidara, leaning back in his seat and carrying a devilish smile.

“How do you intend to do that?”

“I’ll wait until the moment’s right,” Deidara said, adopting the same smile Sasuke had donned.

“In other words, you have no idea,” Sasuke smirked.

Deidara chuckled, shaking his head.

“It’s not wise to tempt me. You’re too proud.”

Deidara was leaning onto the tabletop, now smirking at Sasuke.

Tempt him to do what? Was it possible that Deidara was flirting with him? Sasuke had been flirted with more times than he ever could or wanted to remember, but he wasn’t expecting it from Deidara.

“I’m not following you,” Sasuke answered.

“You don’t need to.”

Sasuke gave Deidara a strange look.

“You’re not going to try anything at the panel, are you?”

Deidara simply laughed.

“Of course not. I separate work and play.”

Sasuke leaned farther in, his eyes searching Deidara’s for some hint of his intent. Deidara’s wicked little smile intrigued him. Deidara had always loved messing with him, though something about this felt different. Strange…

Giving up, Sasuke sighed and looked down at his watch.

“I should go back to my room and rest up for the panel.”

Deidara followed suit, glancing at this cell phone.

“Shit. I totally lost track of time.”

They both stood, putting the napkins on their laps back on the seat of their chairs. Deidara moved in for a hug, but quickly reconsidered, patting Sasuke’s back with his hand.

“See you tomorrow morning,” said Deidara. “Don’t fuck up.”

“You’re too kind,” Sasuke answered wryly. “See you.”

Without further ado, Sasuke took the U-Bahn back to his hotel and passed out the instant his head hit the pillow. The trip had truly exhausted him, and with his travel factored in, it had been over thirty hours since he’d slept last. By all means, being sleep deprived was never a guaranteed remedy for Sasuke’s insomnia. Though in this case, it definitely helped.

He groaned when he heard his phone buzz. As Sasuke’s eyes were already adjusted to the dark, it didn’t take Sasuke more than a few seconds to find his phone.

Sasuke squinted as the brightness of the phone’s display assaulted his eyes.

A text from Tsunade? That could not be good.

As Naruto had told Sasuke, Naruto had designated Tsunade, or “Granny” as he called her, as his first of kin. Naruto’s well-meaning yet irresponsible past foster parent was the conduit through which all of Naruto’s loved ones would receive information regarding Naruto.

Despite his exhaustion, Sasuke felt his heart pick up the pace. His palms sweating ever so slightly, he opened the text as quickly as he could.

“River City, 8 pm PST.”

Sasuke sat bolt upright in bed, the phone still in front of his face. He read those two short words over again, hoping vainly that he had been mistaken.

Finally, the infamous “River City.” Naruto was off the grid.

Naruto had warned him about this. A variety of things could have happened. Maybe there was an impromptu mission. Maybe they were moving. Maybe someone was hurt. Maybe someone was dead.

Maybe Naruto was dead.

There was absolutely no way of knowing. Sasuke bit his lip hard, swearing under his breath. He knew that he was completely powerless at this point. He’d solve nothing by worrying. Yet he couldn’t shake the nausea in his gut, the raw restlessness making his hands feel empty and bored.

Sasuke was quickly realizing that River City was a horrible thing. When his father fought in Vietnam, Sasuke hadn’t been old enough to understand what was happening. Was this what his mother had gone through? Everyone who ever had a loved one fight in a war had gone through something like this. Parents, siblings, spouses… The concept was staggering to Sasuke, now that was actually experiencing it himself.

This happens, Sasuke told himself, taking a deep breath in. Having River City called at some point during Naruto’s deployment was almost inevitable. The chances that Naruto had been injured were slim, but this wasn’t all that Sasuke had been concerned about.

Those blue eyes of his were so hopeful and pure. Maybe Naruto was hurt not physically, but emotionally. Naruto was strong, but there was an innocence in him that was delicate. It reminded him of pure white silk, soft and susceptible to staining. He didn’t want Naruto to see things that would haunt him. He didn’t want Naruto to end up like him.

It was five in the morning now. He’d have to leave his room by eight. Now that he’d had some rest, it would take him quite a while to fall back to sleep. Sasuke was never any good at that, even during normal circumstances. He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and sat down at the table in his room. He was glad that he’d allowed the staff to place him in a smoking room. It would have been inconvenient to dress for the frigid outdoor weather.

As one of the panel members, a subset of Sasuke’s portfolio had been printed in a small book of its own. It was similar to a magazine, with the logo and year of the convention taking the top left corner of the cover. With another hit of his cigarette, he pieced through his own works. He’d hardly given the book a second glance when it had been given to him.

He occupied himself with their selections, featuring twenty-five of his pieces. Over half of them were his feudal work. As Deidara had pointed out earlier, Sasuke was more and more becoming known for his feudal style. Still, they’d also included some of his minimalist designs and full color work.

Sasuke took a deep drag off of his cigarette, lying back in his chair and exhaling the smoke. He didn’t want to limit himself to one style. Being unique was important to Sasuke, but that didn’t mean he had to stick to a single theme. He’d express this at the panel.

He replayed the past years’ panels in his mind. He already knew what he wanted to say. He didn’t even need to think about this, but thinking about it was a lot more comfortable than thinking about the news he’d just received. Sasuke swore when he finished his cigarette, distastefully shoving his book aside.

Maybe some exercise would fix him up. He frequently jogged in the mornings, so this was nothing new to him. This was a nice hotel with a top-notch fitness center. Without wasting time, Sasuke dressed himself and ran for a solid hour at the gym. He could see the sun rise with each stride he took.

He stretched out his trip, using the free weights and doing several sets of floor exercises. He felt the mild euphoria rush through his body as he exerted himself. He only needed to think of the next step, the next push up, the next pullup...

By the time he’d had his fill, it was time to get ready for the panel. Oddly enough, he’d thought more about this panel over the past few hours than he ever had the months leading up to it. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, Sasuke was fully dressed in the convention center.

He wore a black, ripped tank top, boots, and dark jeans. He rested his maroon leather jacket over his shoulder. He’d muttered some small talk with Deidara and Sasori as they waited behind the curtain. For the first fifteen minutes, the CEO of The Artful Body, the trade magazine hosting the event, would give his speech. Truthfully, Sasuke wasn’t even paying attention to the guy; he hardly even remembered his name.

Sasuke tried to focus on the moment, but his thoughts were wandering.

“Nervous after all, hm?” Deidara asked with a grin.

“I was thinking of something else,” Sasuke replied.

Deidara tilted his head, taking in Sasuke’s confidence. Deidara seemed skeptical, but he didn’t press it.

“Now, enough of my talk!” Sasuke heard the speaker say to the crowd. “Time for the panelists!”

“Show time,” Deidara muttered, just loudly enough for Sasori and Sasuke to hear.

The three of them walked out on the stage, thousands of people applauding. The lights were blindingly bright, but Sasuke looked out into the crowd regardless. To Sasuke’s astonishment, he could feel his heartbeat. Outside of the bedroom, he hadn’t felt this in years. Something about it was actually quite invigorating.

Sasuke had never been in front of this many people in his life, but as the glare of the stage lights obscured his view of the crowd, there was something surprisingly intimate about it. He sat at the table, the farthest to the left. Deidara sat beside him, and Sasori was on the opposite side. A glass of water and a microphone sat directly in front of each one of them.

Sasuke took a breath in through his nostrils and exhaled, his lips still loosely shut. He had to admit that he felt a thrill as he took the stage. Yet before the applause had even stopped, Sasuke had relaxed completely.

“So, I’ll start with the obvious question,” the moderator began. “Where do you work, and what do you specialize in?”

Sasuke was up first. He wondered if Deidara arranged that specifically to fuck with him.

“My shop’s right in the middle of New York City. It’s called The Satin Grip.”

The cheers that left the crowd told Sasuke that some fans were among the audience. More than he’d expected, honestly. A display toward the front broadcasted Sasuke’s image to the back of the room, with German subtitles appearing after he spoke. He’d never seen a five-meter-tall image of himself before.

“Recently, I’ve specialized in feudal designs, but I’m pretty versatile. Honing skills with a wide variety of styles has helped me create a style that is unique to only myself.”

Sasuke’s voice was projected by his microphone, so that even the people hidden at the back of the throng could hear him.

“And what about you, Deidara?”

“Well, you all know at this point, hm?” Deidara answered with a smug grin. “I’ve lived in Berlin from birth, and I finally set up Bläckfisk about ten years back. I specialize in deep, vibrant color work and conveying depth.”

Sasuke already knew this from panels the years before, of course.

Since this convention was the world’s largest, as well as the most international, they’d all been instructed to speak in English. Given the high English proficiency in this part of Germany, this was not an issue for the majority of local guests.

“Yet another German,” Sasori picked up. “I work in Frankfurt. CraftZ has been going strong for twelve years now. I’m known for my white ink tattoos.”

“Alright, good! Now, how did you get your start?”

Sasuke took that as his cue.

“I started at fifteen. I was an apprentice in Brooklyn,” Sasuke spoke. “I stayed in Brooklyn for about seven years, doing piercings and tattoos. I then opened up Satin Grip in Manhattan, and the rest followed.”

There was a pause.

“I’m sorry, but you started the Satin Grip, one of the most renowned shops in the community, at twenty-two?” the man asked, shocked.

“Something like that,” Sasuke answered.

Technically, he’d been twenty-one.

“How’d you decide to do that?” the moderator asked, in awe. “And how did you even do it?”

Some mumbling came from the crowd, their eyes attached to Sasuke.

“The parlor I worked at in Brooklyn, Lucky Seven, was outstanding. I enjoyed working as an artist there, but my goal from the start was to run my own business and bring other people into my fold. I prefer to be my own boss.”

He noticed some members of the crowd nodding, probably relating to that statement.

“I’m a very competitive person, so I used that for my hiring decisions. If their work didn’t make me feel a little threatened, they weren’t good enough. I took the time I needed to hire the best - honest and immensely talented people. Everything followed from there.”

“Impressive. That’s some good advice,” the speaker agreed. “Deidara?”

“I don’t have an interesting story like Sasuke. I’m homegrown, so I worked at a few of the city’s larger shops. I rotated to get some experience, then started my own place.”

Aside from the first few seconds, Sasuke felt completely relaxed sitting in front of all of those people. As time passed, he simply focused on the questions and the responses, just as he would’ve had he been an observer. The flow was predictable, and even the more controversial topics felt like a breeze to Sasuke. It wasn’t as though he cared if someone disagreed.

Before he knew it, they’d finished. The audience applauded them, and they walked off of the stage.

“Damn, Sasuke!” Deidara said almost immediately, giving Sasuke a hard pat on the back. “You didn’t even seem slightly nervous.”

“That’s because I wasn’t,” Sasuke replied.

“Have you done public speaking before?” Sasori asked.

“No. I’m just a confident person.”

“I wish my first time speaking publicly had gone so smoothly,” Sasori mumbled.

“You’ve got it down now, at the least,” Sasuke said.

“Mn,” Sasori acknowledged.

“Well, my first appointment is in a half hour. I need to set up,” Deidara said.

With that, the three of them scattered. Sasuke had hours of appointments ahead of him. The only breaks he took as he worked were used to check his texts. Nothing.

Even Sasuke’s own anxiety unnerved him. Over the past months, he believed he had adapted to Naruto’s absence as he had predicted. Yes, he missed Naruto, but he had always been an independent person by nature. At a point, he doubted himself, but his quick turnaround only made him more confident that he had complete control over the situation.

Yet this was something else entirely. All of the control that Sasuke had gathered was being threatened. Sasuke had no clue what would happen to their romantic relationship, and he was honestly still pessimistic. He wouldn’t deny, however, that Naruto had quickly become a friend. Sasuke knew that he cared, but he hadn’t expected such anxiety at something as rudimentary as River City.

At the day’s end, Sasuke hoped that his exhaustion would guide him into sleep, though he knew that this was wishful thinking. As he lay in bed, he held his phone in front of his face.

“Have you heard anything yet?” he texted back.

Yes, Tsunade had said that she’d let them all know immediately. But what if she’d forgotten? Sasuke put his phone down, sighing as he pondered making another gym trip. He didn’t see himself sleeping soon.

Sasuke’s heart jumped up into his throat when he heard his phone vibrate.

“Again, I will let you know as soon as I have more information.”

Sasuke supposed that he might not have been the first person to text Tsunade.

“Shit…” Sasuke muttered to himself, shaking his head.

He knew another sleepless night awaited him. He knew he’d have to just hope that his foundation hid the circles under his eyes the next day.

How could he care so much about someone he’d known for less than half of a year? This wasn’t like him. He only had two people he cared for to this extent, but he’d known them both for over a decade. This was...weird.

He supposed that he shouldn’t overthink it. He just hoped that he’d be hearing Naruto’s voice again soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this!
> 
> Just wanted to let you all know that something has come up in my personal life; it looks like my best friend might be dying in the nearish future. Meanwhile, I'm trying to find a new job while holding down my current full-time job. I really didn't see this coming and am... Yeah. It's a lot.
> 
> I'll strive to make the next chapter timely but can't promise anything (though I don't foresee the lag being too bad). Obviously, it's a little tied to my friend's prognosis. However, I CAN promise that this story will never be abandoned, so take that worry out of your mind. :)


	22. The Experiment

“Guten Tag.”

Sasuke heard Deidara’s voice from several feet away, almost drowned out by the noise around them. It was the last day of the convention, and Sasuke tried not to knead his cramped hands. His voice was sore from shouting over the loud music and voices of the place. He’d been so occupied by his appointments that he’d hardly spared time to explore.

Fortunately, he was able to spare enough time to see some exhibits. Live bands played throughout the day, and from time to time, people almost completely covered in ink, head to toe, would pass his booth. Every sort of body mod Sasuke could think of, no matter how extreme, could be found on display somewhere. One man walked the halls wearing only a huge, furry top hat and small shorts, his body covered in tattoos. Large bills of all sorts of currency were stapled to his body, and he proudly held his stapler in hand as the boombox on his shoulder played rock music. While there was an endless amount of professional business to attend to at the convention, it could be a wild place.

Stall after stall was manned by various tattoo artists; there were easily hundreds. Most of their business for the convention consisted of walk-ins. The panelists, however, along with just a handful of others, were given their own private suite. Of course, none of them could accept walk-ins. All of their schedules were already packed full.

Sasuke had already given out two thirds of his appointment slots for the next year’s convention by the time he was done. He was even considering staying a good week after the convention’s close in following years and renting out a space at a local shop. This was his largest turnout yet, though it made sense given that this was also his first year as a panelist. Two of his customers at the event even won the convention’s tattoo contests - one for the best full body tattoo and another for the best feudal work. And of course, the announcer had let everyone know that it had been Sasuke’s work.

Next time, he’d plan on bringing his staff with him. While Sasuke’s portfolio was printed and sold in mass, Sasuke also made it a point to leave notebooks of the entire staff’s work by his small studio. His staff was talented and deserved the exposure. The convention had been huge for Sasuke, as well as for everyone else working at the Satin Grip. While they weren’t quite at Sasuke’s or Deidara’s level, they could most certainly hold their own as some of the most talented artists in attendance and had their unique specialties.

Lesser prepared artists would sometimes rush up to his suite, begging to barter different colored inks. They were almost invariably new artists to this convention who hadn’t planned on the demand they’d be encountering there. Sasuke had brought extra supplies, so he used the opportunity to sample new brands of ink. Sasuke had been plugged into his work nonstop, with hardly enough time to grab food.

His packed schedule did do one thing for him, however: it helped him forget.

He hadn’t heard anything from Tsunade yet. It had been two, almost three days.

As Deidara walked over to him, heads turned.

“What’s up?” Sasuke asked, pulling off his gloves.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, I’m grabbing a late lunch.”

It was nearly five in the afternoon. He’d come back for the closing ceremony at seven. After that night, he was a free man with two days to explore Berlin.

“Everyone ate earlier, and I’m famished,” Deidara complained with a sigh. “Eat with me.”

Sasuke chose not to mention that most anyone at this convention would sink serious money to share a meal with Deidara.

“If you insist,” Sasuke answered as he finished cleaning up.

“What do you want to eat?” Deidara asked as Sasuke stood, now ready to leave.

“I trust your judgment. Just nowhere stuffy.”

The last thing Sasuke felt like doing was eating at some posh, high-strung restaurant. It had been a long few days, and he just wanted to chill.

Deidara took Sasuke to a simple doner joint, just around the corner. It was simple street food - cheap but damned good. They took a seat outside; there was a slight crisp to the air, but it was considerably warmer than it had been the past few days. Given that it was an odd time of day to eat, they had complete privacy other than passersby. Just in case, Deidara wore a large pair of shades and a beanie, lest anyone recognize him.

Deidara came out with a lamb doner and fries, while Sasuke enjoyed his chicken kebab. They’d picked up some beers from a nearby stores as they’d waited for their food to be prepared. They both had a couple hours until the closing ceremony would start. They hadn’t had the opportunity to speak with each other much after the panel.

“So, how did the convention go for you?” Deidara asked as he sipped his beer.

“I didn’t have too much time to walk around with all the appointments I had. But I spent some time in the gallery hall and checked out some of the inks and machinery people brought in.”

Sasuke had spared just a few hours to walk down row upon row of portfolios, showcasing different specialties of tattoos as well as other extreme forms of body art. Everything from heavy scarification to tongue splitting to blackout tattoos, along with more traditional art, was covered. People were selling classes, showing off their finished product, and sharing their experiences.

While Sasuke liked all the diversity that this brought in, his favorite part was the machinery exhibits. He’d even found an ink that he’d considering buying for the future, as well as an extremely expensive but much more ergonomic set of irons. They also vibrated less and were lighter, so they were perfect for detail work.

“What did you think of this year’s stock?”

Sasuke was the first to begin eating. The chicken was moist and seasoned just perfectly. Sasuke wondered if it was all the more tasteful given how hungry he was. He’d grabbed a quick breakfast in his hotel that morning and hadn’t eaten since.

“Good. Better than last year,” Sasuke replied.

“Make any purchases?”

Sasuke was never one for conversation, but Deidara seemed to have no problem taking the lead.

“Yeah, I bought a couple new sets of irons. You?”

“Hm…” Deidara stopped to think. “Well, I came in here planning to overhaul my shop. I sunk half a million euros.”

Sasuke caught himself before his face registered shock. What the hell had Deidara bought with that much money? That was enough to buy a house back in Manhattan.

Then again, with all of Deidara’s products, appointments, magazine shoots, and just the weight of his name, he was surely swimming in money.

“And that was at a discount,” Deidara added.

An obvious perk of fame, Sasuke thought to himself.

“It better have been worth it,” Sasuke replied as he took a bite of his kebab, sounding unimpressed.

“I refuse to have anything but the best,” Deidara answered with a proud half grin.

To some, that would sound cocky. But cockiness meant overestimating oneself, and Sasuke had no such impression of Deidara. His fame was warranted. Deidara was merely being honest, just as Sasuke would be when others mistook his confidence for arrogance. He respected it.

He couldn’t deny, however, that Deidara had a big ego, though he supposed he could say the same for himself.

“So, how much longer are you in town for?” Deidara asked as the conversation lulled for those few seconds.

“Two more full days.”

“Oh…” Deidara tilted his head. “Do you have any plans?”

Sasuke simply shrugged.

“Just checking out the city.”

“Ah, haven’t you done that before?”

“Naturally,” Sasuke answered with a shrug, taking another bite of his kebab.

“But have you ever been taken around by a local?”

Sasuke’s eyes flicked over to Deidara’s, knowing full well the implication.

“You’re telling me you want to hang out?”

“Mah, so blunt,” Deidara answered with a slight snicker. “Tomorrow is free for me. I’d love to show you around.”

This was new to Sasuke. He’d eaten dinner with Deidara plenty of times, though others were generally present. The one exception was the hours that the two of them had shared privately as Deidara inked that brilliant phoenix on Sasuke’s back years ago.

Though Sasuke certainly could not deny that he needed a distraction. He strived to fill every free hour to keep his thoughts from wandering. Because every time they did, his chest felt tight, his palms sweat, and this foreign twang of discomfort rested in the back of his mind. Was it Naruto doing this to him? River City?

Sasuke so vividly remembered the stony look on Naruto’s face as he stood before him in full combat gear, the resolve that graced his features when he told Sasuke that he loved him. He remembered Naruto’s hands rubbing his back as he accomplished the impressive feat of putting Sasuke to sleep, the way that Naruto had cried in his arms after Sasuke had been cruel to him. How safe had he felt underneath Naruto’s caring fingers, and how safe had Naruto felt, wrapped up in Sasuke’s arms?

An omnipresent hum over the last few days whispered in his ears, ever so slightly, that Naruto wouldn’t make it out of this war the same. That anxiety reminded him that it took him mere months of his long life to care for another person so deeply, to make himself vulnerable to them, to miss them as he did so few others.

He could never deny that he cared for Naruto. He remembered the loving sex that the two of them had Naruto’s last night on American soil, gentle acts that would have bored him to tears just a number of months beforehand. But his heart had beat, and his body had quivered in a way it hadn’t in years.

But this just wasn’t him.

“I wouldn’t mind the company,” Sasuke answered.

“Perfect,” Deidara said with a bright grin.

* * *

Sasuke wore a long pea coat, a scarf, and dark blue jeans as he exited his S-Bahn onto Alexanderplatz. There was a slight dusting of snow outside, though certainly nothing he couldn’t handle.

Some had told him that in such clothing, he looked like a different person entirely. Other than the small fan on his hand, every single one of his tattoos was covered. People would tell him that other than his few facial piercings, that stern look on his face made him look more like a businessman than a tattooist. And Sasuke would respond that he was both.

Deidara, on the other hand, would be quite incapable of this. Even his neck and hands were adorned. Sasuke found body art insanely addictive; he wondered what he would look like at Deidara’s age. Still, he’d resolved never to alter his face.

Sasuke met Deidara at a small cafe, located just slightly away from the throng of people. This was one of the main squares of Berlin, so they’d waited in line for a bit to get their breakfasts. Deidara had told him that it’d be worth it.

They both placed their coats on the back of their chairs as they discussed plans for the day. Deidara was wearing a simple tank top underneath his coat and dark blue denim that seemed almost impossibly tight. And of course, again with the scarf and sunglasses. Sasuke never had noticed Deidara’s ass before, but as an impartial observer, he had to admit that it wasn’t painful to look at. With those jeans, it was difficult for most anyone to miss it. It was almost as nice as Naruto’s.

Sasuke had pieced together long ago that Deidara had to be in his early to mid-thirties, but he could’ve easily passed for his mid-twenties, with that healthy, long blond hair and compact but muscular body. He was thin and slightly androgynous, though Sasuke hadn’t figured that his shoulders and upper arms would be so muscled. He reminded Sasuke of a rocker. There was a reason why he ended up on all those magazine covers.

Sasuke wore a deep V-neck, looking nowhere near as conservative as he had this morning as his smooth but muscular chest peeked through.

They made quick work of their coffees and pastries; Deidara’s recommendation had been spot on. Sasuke wasn’t surprised in the least when Deidara suggested an art museum.

Before hopping back on the subway system, they crossed the bridge over the Spree River to visit the Berliner Dom, or as foreigners would say, the Berlin cathedral. The river sat still, the sky grey as the snow continued to fall. Sasuke had always been enthralled by architecture; it was one of the reasons he loved traveling.

Given the newness of the buildings on American soil, it made Sasuke feel connected to the more distant pass. The once war-torn city of Berlin had many of its historical buildings demolished in World War II, but even what remained gave him a feeling of understanding, of being a little bit greater than himself in the grand scheme of things.

The outside of the building was gorgeous, its florid baroque designs dating back to the late nineteenth century. It was capped by one large mint-green dome in the center, with a smaller cupola on each side of the building. As they waited in line for the entrance, Deidara’s phone rang.

“Hallo?” Deidara answered.

Sasuke could hear an older female voice over the phone, though he understood none of what she said.

“Mama, hör auf mir Schuldgefühle einzureden. Ich habe erst letzte Woche mit dir geredet.”

Sasuke did pick up these words, however. Clearly, it was Deidara’s mother on the line, and he was making his reluctance in speaking with her blatantly obvious. Deidara spoke openly; Sasuke never told Deidara that he’d studied German.

Deidara clicked his tongue, continuing.

“Wenn du unbedingt wissen willst, wie die Veranstaltung so gelaufen ist, schau Nachrichten. Ich bin beschäftigt.”

Sasuke bit his lip as he listened to Deidara speak, feeling a bit of anger build up in his stomach. He understood what Deidara had said in full: “If you want to know how the convention went so badly, you should watch the news. I’m busy now.”

Did Deidara have any idea how lucky he was to have parents around who actually gave a shit about his life?

Idiot.

“Gut, wir können morgen irgendwann mal reden.”

A few seconds more passed, until Deidara closed the call with, “Okay, Tschüss.”

Deidara glanced over at Sasuke, much surprised to see him staring back at him.

“What did your mother ever do to you?” Sasuke asked gruffly.

Deidara’s eyes widened as he nearly dropped his phone.

“You understood that?!” Deidara answered in a voice much higher than he’d intended it to be.

Sasuke had yet to see Deidara so flustered.

“Isn’t that obvious?” Sasuke replied, still awaiting Deidara’s answer.

“I didn’t know you could speak German.”

The corners of Sasuke’s lips sunk as he regarded Deidara with a grain of distaste. He couldn’t understand people like this. What would he have given to bring his mother back? Yet even before his mother passed away, Sasuke had cherished her fully. He tried not to feel jealous of Deidara.

“You’re very lucky to have a mother, and one who gives a shit at that,” Sasuke said in a somewhat harsh tone of voice. “Don’t take it for granted.”

Deidara opened his mouth, the angry expression on his face telling Sasuke that he was about to fight him on it. He paused a minute, shaking his head as he exhaled.

“Where do you get off, lecturing me like that? You’re even younger than I am.”

This was the first time he’d felt annoyance toward Deidara. Deidara laughed, reaching over to ruffle Sasuke’s hair.

“You sound like an old man. Wrinkles aren’t sexy, Sasuke.”

Glaring, Sasuke grasped Deidara’s wrist and pushed it aside. Very few people were allowed to mess with his hair.

“Fine,” Deidara sighed. “You’re right. I was being an ass.”

Sasuke emitted a quiet grunt to show that he’d been appeased for the moment.

“Would it make you feel better if I wrote her a card?” Deidara teased. “I can put lots of hearts in it for you.”

“I don’t give a damn,” Sasuke answered, trying to shake off his frustration. “Let’s go.”

The two of them waited for a few minutes to gain entrance. As soon as they cleared the threshold, Sasuke’s frustration all but evaporated.

While the outside was gorgeous in its own right, the inside was what truly blew him away. Deidara must’ve seen it on Sasuke’s face; it wasn’t an expression Deidara was used to seeing on him. He couldn’t help but be captivated by the marble and onyx alter, the stained glass windows, the impressive organ…

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Deidara asked, neither of them looking at each other.

“Yes,” Sasuke said as he looked at the tall ceiling above him, trying to take everything in but failing.

He wished that he’d found time to enter this church on his other trips. There had just been so many things to see in Berlin, and it was rare he could afford himself free days.

“I was never one for organized religion,” Deidara began. “But there’s such artistry in a place like this, somewhere created to mean so much to people.”

Sasuke nodded in agreement. They were silent for another few moments as Sasuke allowed himself to truly appreciate what was around him. He forgot that Deidara was beside him and allowed himself to be truly alone in this place. Sasuke wasn’t the sort of tourist who would snap pictures back to back and then be on his way. He would rather immerse himself in the moment, burning both his surroundings and his feeling of awe and appreciation into his memory.

Sasuke took in clips and phrases of a German guide giving some schoolchildren a tour through the church. He pieced together that the building was finished in 1905 and was taller than a 30-story building. The organ had more than 7,000 pipes, and there were 94 coffins beneath them in the crypt.

“You know, she took quite a beating during the Second World War,” Deidara said resting his hand on one of the aisles as he looked up at the ceiling. “Hit by a fire bomb.”

Sasuke wasn’t sure why he so vividly imagined frantic shouting as a bomb broke in, maybe through one of the windows, and disrupted a peace not unlike the one they were enjoying now. It burst into an uncontrollable ball of fire as it ate through the ornate marble, the breath-taking stained glass windows, and possibly even the humans inside.

War did not discriminate between churches and trenches, between innocent and guilty, between child and adult… Everything was subject to destruction. Even someone like Naruto.

“Sasuke?” Deidara prompted.

Sasuke hadn’t realized that he’d been zoning out. He quickly looked over to Deidara, composing himself.

“I see no traces,” Sasuke replied, hoping that this would explain his lapse. “The restoration seems perfect.”

They spent several more minutes inside, drinking in the beauty of their surroundings. Knowing that Deidara had probably been here several times before, he appreciated his patience.

Their next stop was the art museum. They hopped on the U-Bahn to take them there, sending them from East Berlin to West Berlin. It occurred to Sasuke that the path of this subway was once blocked by a large wall. For the majority of Sasuke’s life, any civilian crossing this boundary would likely be shot where they stood. Yet now he and the passengers sat so leisurely, some listening to music over their headphones, others reading the paper, and still others enjoying their privacy. The Berlin Wall had only fallen 14 years ago. How could so much change in such a short period of time?

Sasuke had been to Berlin several times, but never had he thought of the city in these terms. He was tempted to blame this on the introspection that was prompted when Deidara told him what happened to the Berliner Dom during the war. As they approached their museum, Sasuke couldn’t help but notice a spattering of bullet holes. As Deidara explained, they were from the Siege of Berlin.

Berlin was a city scarred by war, just as Manhattan had been forever altered by the terrorist attack. It was part of the city’s very essence. And just as countless millions gave their lives to fight that war, Naruto risked his to fight this so-called War on Terror. It sounded like an oxymoron to Sasuke. What was war, if not terror?

Sasuke had tried to distract himself today. When traveling, Sasuke enjoyed going off on his own and exploring things how he saw fit. He could follow his every whim. He’d even agreed to spend the day with Deidara in hopes that it would distract him. This hadn’t been his only motivation; he enjoyed spending time with an artist he respected so much.

Yet how was it that everything he saw reminded him of Naruto? It made him miss him and worry about him all the more.

Sasuke was able to enjoy his day, despite his mind’s frequent interruptions. Deidara and he got along smoothly for the day’s remainder. Sasuke felt himself growing more familiar with Deidara, and he noticed, from evaluating Deidara’s body language and diction, that Deidara was growing more familiar with Sasuke as well.

There was something much different about sharing an entire day alone with someone. Sasuke didn’t know if he would call Deidara one of his friends at this point, but he was certainly more than an acquaintance to him. It was a natural extension for them to get dinner together, opting for a classy but modern French restaurant.

They were whisked away to a table towards the back corner, gentle pop music playing in the background. Both of them ordered wine and ate into the night.

“Today was fun, Sasuke,” Deidara said, leaning over and taking a bite of his Chicken Basquaise.

“Mhm,” Sasuke murmured in agreement.

“I’m glad I invited you to the panel,” Deidara told Sasuke with a smile. “You were a hit. I mean, you really generated a lot of buzz.”

“I’m glad to hear it went over well,” Sasuke said simply.

“Your skills have deepened and broadened exponentially. I can’t help but see you as my rival now.”

Sasuke hid how flattered he felt at this. He had long looked up to Deidara’s art. He knew that they were on the same playing field now. Deidara cast Sasuke a quick smile before speaking again.

“Bet you never guessed that we’d be spending a day together like this, did you?”

It certainly had not been what Sasuke had been expecting. Given Deidara’s popularity, he was surprised that he’d dedicated an entire day to spend with him exclusively, no matter how talented Sasuke was.

“Can’t say I did.”

Deidara smiled, looking back at Sasuke.

“You’re not as uptight as you seem at first glance.”

“Thanks?” Sasuke answered, arching a pierced brow at Deidara. “I told you. I’ve always been relaxed. I just don’t express it like others do.”

Deidara smirked at Sasuke.

“You know, when I first met you, I was so confused. The way you carried yourself, so tight and to yourself, I could have sworn you were a virgin.”

Sasuke nearly choked on his alcohol. He hadn’t been expecting that.

“But with a body like yours?” Deidara added, quickly looking Sasuke from the top down and issuing a smirk. “I think not.”

Sasuke lost a few seconds to disbelief.

Was Deidara drunk? Not likely. Buzzed, at most, just as he was.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“No way in hell am I a virgin.”

“Oh? You’ve been around the block?”

Sasuke simply shrugged.

“Me too,” Deidara replied. “We have a very active scene here, in Berlin. Do you know what I mean?”

Sasuke couldn’t hide his surprise, his bottom jaw just slightly hanging.

“Clearly you do,” Deidara chuckled.

Sasuke knew that the two of them were feeling the effects of the liquor. Deidara was… He was a sight, Sasuke would say that much. This was very unexpected for him. Sasuke hated himself for feeling a relief in thinking, if only for one second, about someone other than Naruto. It made him feel normal again.

“That’s common knowledge, isn’t it?” Sasuke asked. “If not, maybe we should have discussed it at the panel.”

Deidara burst into laughter yet again. Sasuke was remembering now that Deidara would always laugh when he was buzzed.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you seemed distracted today,” Deidara mused. “Is something on your mind?”

Sasuke let out a stressed sigh before he could stop himself.

Even if he did feel safe confiding to someone who was hardly more than an acquaintance, he couldn’t admit that it had been Naruto who had occupied his thoughts.

Meanwhile, Sasuke gauged Deidara’s body language. He was leaning into the table. Sasuke had been in such situations so many times that he had no issue seeing through this. For years, this would have been exactly what Sasuke would’ve wanted. While Sasuke had always found Deidara’s appearance arousing, nothing turned him on like Deidara’s immense mastery of their shared craft.

Deidara was who so many fledgling artists wanted to be. Even Sasuke had studied his art as he gained his footing at Lucky Seven back in Brooklyn. He came with power, looks, and unspeakable talent.

“Nothing I want to share, but thank you for asking.”

Deidara nodded.

“I can take your mind off of it, if you’d like,” Deidara said, not hiding the lust in his eyes as he looked at Sasuke from top to bottom.

“So, is this what you meant when you said it’d be fun to make me nervous?” Sasuke asked as he sucked on his lip piercing.

“Ah,” Deidara answered. “Not such a slow learner after all.”

That was all the affirmation that Sasuke needed. This was exactly what he suspected it was. If Sasuke so much as said the word, Deidara would be his for the night.

Yet as sickeningly predictable as his mind had been lately, it flashed over to Naruto. Yes, Sasuke had told Naruto that something like that might happen. He’d been more than straightforward about that.

Sasuke knew now that he was capable of caring for Naruto, even capable of being a decent friend to him. He hadn’t seen that coming. Sasuke felt more than comfortable in the so called “friends with benefits” dynamic.

But Naruto wanted something more. He wanted commitment. He wanted love. Naruto hoped that Sasuke would do things he was incapable of doing.

Naruto wanted Sasuke to be his, and his alone. But was Sasuke capable of doing such a thing? Could his lust ever be satisfied by just one person?

The next question was whether Sasuke be able to provide the constant emotional support that being in a traditional relationship requires. He doubted it. Yet before he’d even bother thinking on that, he needed to answer that first question. And Sasuke knew one way to find out.

“What are you into?” Sasuke asked bluntly.

A wicked grin took up Deidara’s face.

“Not shy, I see,” he answered staring at Sasuke. “I’d always wondered what it would be like to be fucked by you. You could say, _that’s_ what I’m into.”

Deidara must have done a fine job of hiding his attraction toward Sasuke, because this took even him off guard. This had been ongoing? Unless, of course, Deidara was just saying this to play into the current mood. Truthfully, Sasuke didn’t care.

“Just to be clear,” Sasuke began. “If we do this, there will be no strings attached. It’s just for the scene.”

Deidara chuckled.

“You took the words right out of my mouth. We’ll be on our merry ways.”

This came as a relief to Sasuke. It seemed that they’d both be perfectly content to leave this behind them. This could be the safest and best test that Sasuke could devise.

If anyone was to make him feel that shiver of excitement, that deep pounding of his heart as his body was pushed to his limit, that boundless lust, it’d be Deidara. And if even Deidara couldn’t get him to this place now that Naruto had come into his life… Then everything that Sasuke thought he knew about himself in these regards could be wrong.

“I want whatever we do to have no effect on our professional relationship. If you have any doubt in your mind whatsoever that you can’t separate the two, I’ll have no part.”

Deidara chuckled, shaking his head.

“So uncertain. I’ve done this many times before. If it reassures you, even me and Sasori have done the same. There’s something...erotic about doing this with someone so talented in your craft.”

The fact that Deidara and Sasori’s professional relationship was intact did reassure him. And he understood where Deidara was coming from completely. There was a certain amount of respect that such craftsmanship earned from Sasuke. And Deidara certainly was his type, perfect features and a body covered with fine art.

“Don’t worry. I won’t get my feelings hurt if we never do this again.”

“Then understand that I’ll have no patience for such,” Sasuke said, guardedly studying Deidara.

“Why so cold?” Deidara said, raising up the inner corners of his brows. “You’ve made your point, Sasuke.”

Sasuke felt Deidara’s palm on his thigh now, riding up to his hip. He could have sworn the room’s temperature had risen a few degrees. He allowed himself to relax, leaning back and enjoying Deidara’s touch.

“Now, shall we get out of here?” Deidara asked with lust-ridden eyes.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

Sasuke wasn’t particularly surprised to find that Deidara lived in a mansion. It loomed at what looked like three stories, with sharp corners and a perfectly white exterior. The architecture, notably modern and unique, fit Deidara quite well. It was bold. There was a large room at the bottom of the house, surrounded entirely by glass.

Fortunately, the forests kept the house out of common view. It had taken them twenty minutes to arrive at the S-Bahn stop where Deidara had parked his car, followed by another fifteen minutes of driving. The forests surrounding this large cultural hub never ceased to amaze Sasuke.

Sasuke did not particularly need the space that Deidara’s mansion provided, but he was smitten by the location. Sasuke’s apartment was conveniently located, but he sometimes longed for silence. Born and raised in the city, Sasuke was accustomed to converting its chatter into white noise. Yet this silence soothed him.

The two of them entered Deidara’s kitchen. They first treated themselves to another glass of wine, sitting next to each other on Deidara’s couch. As they spoke, their bodies pressed more closely together. Sasuke could smell Deidara’s cologne. Deidara haphazardly removed his shirt.

His chest and particularly his stomach were covered by vibrant ink. A fiery burst covered Deidara’s front, all issuing from a heart-shaped grenade. The intense yellows, reds, and oranges were not unlike those found in the phoenix gracing Sasuke’s back. After all, the same artist was responsible.

“So,” Deidara began, sipping at his wine. “Do you like being on top?”

His voice was casual.

“I’m a Dom,” Sasuke said matter-of-factly.

He’d leave out the fact that _very_ rarely, he would submit. Sasuke had experimented once, when he was much younger. And then there was Naruto.

But now was really not the time to be thinking about him.

“I can work with that,” Deidara smirked. “But you’ll have to _make_ me respect you first.”

This came as no surprise to Sasuke. In fact, forcing that respect out of Deidara would be one of the best parts.

“That won’t be an issue,” Sasuke smirked. “Safe word?”

“Berlin.”

Simple enough.

“Follow me,” Deidara said, winking at Sasuke and walking towards a closed door on the other side of the floor.

“Enjoy your last time telling _me_ to do anything.”

“Oh?” Deidara asked, chuckling as if he’d found what Sasuke said absurd. “We’ll see about that.”

There was no question that Sasuke’s body was revved up. Yet as Deidara placed his hand on the doorknob, Sasuke could only think of one person.

It was time to find out what Naruto really was to Sasuke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying to know what people are thinking about this one. Predictions? Thoughts? Reactions?
> 
> Anyhow, for authorly news:  
> Good news: My friend is doing a little better, and I have a more time on my hands to write and look for new jobs.  
> Bad news: I have more time on my hands because I'm on short-term disability now due to a chronic illness flaring up. (I've kept my full-time job, but I'm on a documented and legally protected medical leave.) I might not be well enough to look for jobs and write. Also caught the flu.
> 
> So again, making my best effort to post, but if I don't focus on my health, it'll all be for naught. Everyone has been so supportive and understanding. Thank you!


	23. Trial By Fire

To say the least, the room was stocked. A crimson bed, with black, spire-like bed posts, occupied a sizeable portion of the room, which was painted a matching red. The room was dimly lit - just bright enough to comfortably read by.

Sasuke’s eyes instinctively gravitated toward the large black leather chest at the base of the bed. He resisted the urge to look inside. Sasuke was pleased to note a St. Andrew’s cross propped up by the wall. It was an X-shaped cross that stood on its lower legs, padded with black leather.

They took a seat on the bed next to each other. Yet before acting, they began a more detailed conversation about what each of them were expecting out of this scene. Sasuke hoped to explore the more extreme side of his fetishes. This wasn’t only a test of his monogamy; it was also testing his affiliation towards scene life in general.

Electricity play was a favorite of Sasuke’s. While Deidara expressed an interest in it, Sasuke was confused by the lack of appeal it held for him today. Sasuke had found himself daydreaming about exploring this with Naruto. With a mere twist of a knob, the sensations could go from sensual to torturous. Sasuke was generally leary of being on the receiving end of this, but when he thought of Naruto… He oddly found it appealing. He’d have to teach Naruto, but then again, that was all part of the fun.

Sasuke couldn’t keep his brow from arching when Deidara mentioned gunplay - the act of using a gun, either loaded or unloaded, during a scene. Deidara preferred to use loaded guns. Sasuke understood the appeal of it - that thrill and imminent danger of something so inherently powerful and destructive. He hadn’t expected Deidara to be interested in edge play, especially a form so extreme. Sasuke turned it down as a hard limit but took note to be as daring as he pleased in his suggestions.

Sasuke could think of one other fetish of his that provided that same thrill. When Sasuke mentioned it, Deidara couldn’t help but contain his shock as he asked, “You too?”

Immense skill was required for this, as it was far beyond the competency of a standard BDSM practitioner. And when it went wrong, it could go _very_ wrong. It had taken Sasuke years to feel truly comfortable using this on a sub. Sasuke was ready to provide references and discuss a detailed play-by-play, but Deidara took it upon himself to trust Sasuke.

He hadn’t been able to engage in this fetish in over a year. It was extreme, and it was difficult to find people willing to go this far. As they navigated through the specifics, Sasuke couldn’t help but muse at what an insane coincidence this was. This was, indeed, becoming the perfect experiment.

Sasuke noticed a protrusion in Deidara’s tight pants; planning the scene had clearly aroused Deidara. Usually, he’d be aroused by it as well. Yet he couldn’t help but think about the end goal of this act as they explored possibilities. It was a means to an end. While he felt the tug of lust on his sleeve, he couldn’t help but think of Naruto, even now.

He didn’t know whether he wanted this to go well or poorly. If it went well, then maybe he would return back to life as he’d known it. He believed that he didn’t have the capacity for monogamy, but if so, he’d rather know now than later. If it went poorly…

“Alright, leave now,” Sasuke said, finding himself already influenced by his role during this scene. “And don’t return without my permission.”

Deidara pouted, biting his lips as he looked back at Sasuke.

“Hurry up.”

Sasuke merely smirked.

“No. You’re done giving orders.”

“We’ll see about that,” Deidara sing-songed in response.

They weren’t fully engaged in the scene just yet. Otherwise, Deidara would’ve regretted those words. Nonetheless, Deidara obediently left.

Sasuke took the time to set up his supplies. They were easily enough found in Deidara’s chest. He also readied cool towels, rope, some ice, and a variety of safety materials, from EMT scissors to condoms. Sasuke removed his shirt; he didn’t want it getting in the way. Sasuke ordered Deidara into the room.

He stood before Sasuke in anticipation, a look on his face that was both challenging and eager.

“I want you to move your shirt slowly up your torso.”

Deidara obeyed, inching it up and then reaching down to pull his shirt over his head.

“When did I say you could take it off?”

Sasuke’s jet black stare demanded obedience. If Deidara was experienced enough, it was possible that he’d guess what Sasuke was doing. He was enforcing the power dynamics. By breaking a single task into the most minute actions, he’d leave no room for ambiguity. He’d rob Deidara of his options until the only one left was pure acquiescence.

Deidara merely shrugged, continuing to lift it over his head. Sasuke pushed Deidara’s chest, shoving his back against the wall.

“This can be very easy or very difficult. You’ll pay for any hassle you cause.”

“Mn…” Deidara hummed, looking Sasuke up and down. “You look much better with your shirt off.”

Deidara had warned him that his submission would not come easily. But he had no doubts that soon enough, Deidara would grovel.

“Now, take off yours. Slowly.”

This time, Deidara obeyed.

“Slide your pants down your waist.”

Just as Deidara fulfilled one command, Sasuke provided another.

“Now, down your thighs.”

Deidara had a much leaner form than Naruto did and was certainly paler. Deidara’s body type was more similar to Sasuke’s, though Sasuke’s body was more muscular. And of course, it was covered in ink. Sasuke slowly walked Deidara through removing all of his clothing, while Sasuke stood shirtless in front of him.

For just an instant, Sasuke was struck by Deidara’s beauty, though he hid it expertly. The only thing Deidara was left wearing was his eyeliner. Both of his arms were covered in full sleeve tattoos, as well as portions of his neck and hands.

Yet he wouldn’t allow Deidara to see him anything but composed as he commanded him. He knew that disrobing alone would start moving Deidara into a submissive mindset. Deidara was in a vulnerable position, naked before him while Sasuke was only shirtless.

He noticed that Deidara’s cock was pierced, just as his was. It did not come as much of a surprise, a metal barbell making it through the head of his cock horizontally. Sasuke had considered getting that piercing himself.

“I want you to get on the bed. Lie on it horizontally, on your back, so that your head’s almost falling off the side,” Sasuke commanded.

Deidara pursed his lips, hesitating.

“ _Now_ ,” Sasuke shouted as he jerked Deidara’s head back by pulling his long hair. Deidara’s head now hung back, his Adam’s apple facing the ceiling. He smirked, and the vocalization caused the lump on his throat to fall minutely and rise again. The corners of Deidara’s lips arched ever so slightly toward his ears.

“I’ve been patient,” Sasuke whispered in his ear. “Don’t test it.”

“What will happen if I test it?” Deidara asked. “Hm?”

“Care to find out?”

Deidara hadn’t noticed that Sasuke had hidden his metal cuffs under the bed sheets. Sasuke pushed Deidara into the wall again, holding his chest to it. He easily pulled his wrists back and cuffed them together. As Deidara turned around with the slightest look of shock on his face, Sasuke glowered at him. Though they stood at the same height, Sasuke had the stare of a Dom - a stare that allowed no room for negotiation.

Deidara averted his eyes and made his way onto the bed, lying on his back. The cuffs forced him to arch his chest upwards, vulnerable. Now would be his time to warm Deidara up. Otherwise, Deidara would take no pleasure in the pain that awaited him.

Sasuke squirted some lube on his hand and traced Deidara’s cock from base to tip with the back of his right pointer finger. He took it in his hand, giving it several pumps. He noticed Deidara’s body flush as he moaned.

“How long have you lusted after me, Deidara?”

He leaned forward, giving Deidara’s nipple piercing a rough tug. Deidara arched his back even more, fighting against his cuffs.

“From the beginning?”

“I…”

Deidara could hardly finish his sentence.

“Um, yeah. A little…”

He released Deidara’s cock, much to Deidara’s disappointment.

“Move forward so that your head just barely falls off the bed.”

Deidara grunted and obeyed, and Sasuke stood in front of him. Sasuke slid his cock out of his pants, his length already bound by a condom. He moved it forward, allowing it to just barely touch Deidara’s lips. Deidara’s pale skin flushed a darker pink; Sasuke thought to himself that Naruto’s tan generally hid his blushes.

“Suck, just a little. Bob your head back and forth.”

Again, Deidara obeyed. Perfect.

This position allowed Deidara very little room for resituation and was likely uncomfortable, but nonetheless Deidara was moaning into his cock. Deidara’s cock was ruddy and at half mast now. Deidara fought hard against his restraints, likely in a desire to touch himself. Sasuke continued to thrust into Deidara’s mouth.

“Suck harder.”

“Mm,” Deidara acquiesced, continuing.

But Sasuke didn’t want to cum just yet. He continued until Deidara was deep throating him. Just as he was nearing the brink, Sasuke moved his cock away. He returned to his position with Deidara, feverishly jacking him off with one hand as he roughly bit at Deidara’s neck, sucked, and left an angry mark behind. It was partially masked by the intricate designs on Deidara’s skin, but Deidara would know it was there.

Deidara let out a raw moan as he came, his spunk splattering against his stomach.

“I don’t usually…” Deidara was clearly flustered.

“Some mark I left on you…” Sasuke interrupted. “But don’t you dare leave a single mark on me.”

Deidara nodded, or as much as he could with his head craning backward. Sasuke lifted Deidara back, so that his entire body rested on the bed. He rolled Deidara onto his stomach, uncuffing his wrists. Deidara quickly moved his arms to his front, rubbing at his wrists.

“Hey, Sasuke…”

“Mn?”

“How does it feel?” Deidara panted. “How does it feel to have the most influential tattooist in the world cuffed and sucking your cock?”

As vain as it sounded, Deidara was right. He was arguably the pinnacle of their craft, and there he was, underneath Sasuke and completely pliant to his will. If this didn’t rouse him, he didn’t know what else would.

Sasuke shrugged.

“I don’t know. How does it feel to be cuffed and commandeered by a so-called rookie?”

Deidara chuckled under his breath.

“You’re no rookie.”

“The cross,” Sasuke said, pointing over at the St. Andrew’s cross by the wall. “Stand directly in front of it and face it.”

Deidara lost no time to hesitation as he wordlessly obeyed Sasuke. Sasuke tightly tied one limb to each corner of the X, the sound of Sasuke snugly tying the rope filling the room. Deidara was now almost completely immobilized, his cock dangling down helplessly as Deidara stood there, tied.

Sasuke gently rubbed a leather riding crop over the skin of Deidara’s inner thighs, moving it out and smacking it into Deidara’s ass, leaving it red. Deidara yelped, his muscled tense as he moved against the restraints. Sasuke loved the sight of it. He struck Deidara again, harder now.

“What’s the matter? No witty comments?”

Deidara was panting, desperately trying to escape him only for Sasuke to hit him yet again, but with greater force.

“Ahhn!”

He loved those violent red marks he was leaving behind on Deidara, the way he had Deidara completely flustered. He loved watching him writhe in pain, powerless before him. As much pain as he felt, Deidara’s body was a dead giveaway, just like the other subs that Sasuke had dominated. Sasuke could tell that Deidara was growing harder, and so was he.

“Do you want more?”

Deidara nodded frantically.

“Please…”

Sasuke dripped lube between Deidara’s asscheeks, fingering his hole with one, then quickly two fingers. As relaxed as Deidara’s body had become, Sasuke was easily able to slide a bulb-like plug into his pucker. Giving Deidara a couple seconds to adjust to its presence, Sasuke pulled a bullwhip out of the chest.

“Brace yourself,” Sasuke smirked.

He brought it down hard against Deidara’s back.

_Crack!_

“Ahh!” Deidara shouted, only for Sasuke to take another stroke. It left the slightest amount of blood behind. Deidara’s breath was coming to him in long pants, and it made Sasuke feel like he was stalking his prey. He felt virile, powerful, a sense of total control. This man was under his power.

One more time.

Deidara then whimpered, “Please, do it.”

Sasuke knew precisely what Deidara was talking about.

“Now?”

Deidara nodded feverishly yet again.

“Is that the best you can do?”

Deidara wriggled his fingers and toes against each other.

“Please…” Deidara whined. “Please...Sir. Please.”

That was what Sasuke needed to hear.

“Sure,” Sasuke agreed.

Sasuke first pinned Deidara’s long locks up in a neat bun. Deidara’s hair was such a perfect blond, and it showed no signs of dye. His hair felt completely healthy, both smooth and long. Sasuke reached for the alcohol solution, swirling it around Deidara’s back in a spiral design. He kept it far away from the wounds of the whip. At the mere smell of rubbing alcohol, Deidara emitted an eager moan. Sasuke then grasped the torch, which was a large metal rod capped by Kevlar rope. Sasuke held a lighter up to it, the entire top now covered in fire. Deidara let out a preemptive whimper as he just barely felt the heat of the torch on his skin.

Of course, it had been fire that had called to the both of them. Sasuke loved the power fire provided him, the way that subs would writhe beneath him as their bodies heeded the instinct instilled in them from millenia of evolution with terror. He loved controlling the age-old peril of fire, both sensual and deadly. Sasuke was still partially erect from Deidara’s earlier ministrations, but now he felt this uncomfortable snugness.

He put the fire against the alcohol on Deidara’s skin, causing the entire design to light up in flames, which flared so brilliantly against the dim lighting. Then, in a matter of but a second, Sasuke wiped it out with a wet cloth. Deidara’s toes riggled and he murmured.

“More…”

Sasuke was well-accustomed to the timing involved in this. This was unlikely to have caused Deidara much, if any, pain. It was a teaser of what was to come, mostly sensual, as Deidara’s blissed out moans confirmed. But should he leave the fire against his skin for another second or two, the skin would be left red, dry, and irritated. If the fire was left burning for long enough, it could even brand him.

Sasuke was both flattered and a little surprised that Deidara had agreed to do this with him. True, they’d gone over, in detail, where Deidara’s limits lay. Sasuke had all the hands-on experience he required. He supposed that he’d already impressed Deidara by his skills with ink. It wasn’t a stretch when Deidara believed that Sasuke was every bit as skilled with fire as he claimed to be.

Sasuke absentmindedly traced the design of a sparrow; it took him mere seconds. He lit it on fire yet again, waiting for two, nearly three seconds and putting it out completely. Deidara was quivering, and his skin was red. Sasuke grasped some ice in his hand and allowed the frigid water to fall between his fingers and drip against Deidara’s sore skin. It caused Deidara to bolt upright, moaning as words forsook him. His ass desperately clenched around the plug.

“Do you want it to hurt?”

Deidara was completely hard, the cross giving his manhood just enough room to poke forward. Deidara let out a low whimper, followed by a delicate nod. He’d already spoken with Deidara about the limits of what he wished to endure.

Dousing the wand, he now reached for the flogger. It had a wooden handle roughly the length of Sasuke’s forearm, with a very short length of chain ending in several strips of white Kevlar, each of which was the same length as the handle. Sasuke was impressed that Deidara had taken so much. He was initially surprised to learn that Deidara had any involvement in the scene whatsoever. But to go this far? Deidara was almost on his level.

Sasuke had already cleared the area of anything that might be flammable. He lit the flogger, the entirety blazing with deadly hot flames. Sasuke could feel the warmth on his face, his chest…

“Is this what you want?” Sasuke asked, moving the flogger so that Deidara could see it. Deidara moaned, almost crumbled, at the very sight of it.

“Yes, Sir… Please, yes…”

Sasuke held the flogger just close enough to Deidara’s back that he could feel the heat, to the point that it burned ever so slightly. He moved the flogger back and swung at Deidara’s back, another crack resounding in the room.

“Ahhh!” Deidara almost shrieked.

A second crack.

“Nnn!”

Deidara alternated between writhing, shouting, and moaning, his body unable to decide on a single reaction. Now Deidara’s back was bright red and covered in welts, and God if that didn’t make Sasuke feel good.

A third and final strike left Deidara whimpering and shuddering, whispering out a weak, “More.”

Sasuke pursed his lips and then doused out the flogger. Sasuke was leaving Deidara horribly raw, with plenty of blood and welts left behind. He realized that Deidara might have lost sense of this in the moment. He’d reached their predetermined limits.

It was entirely likely that Deidara entered subspace. In this state, one was totally immersed in the scene, surrounded by a world of painful bliss that too often left personal safety disregarded. The look in Deidara’s eyes was a mixture of ecstasy and insanity, as if Deidara’s consciousness had somehow slipped out of his body.

“You’ve had enough. I’ve done a number on you.”

Deidara grumbled as if he’d just been awoken from a nap.

“You withheld it so well.”

Sasuke leaned forward and slipped the plug out of Deidara’s ass. His hole twitched as Sasuke tapped his mostly hardened length against Deidara’s pucker.

“This is your reward.”

“Y-yes…”

As he pushed against Deidara, Sasuke let out the quietest moan, a gentle flush covering his body. He’d worked up to this, and now he was impatient. But…

Thoughts of Naruto were filling his head. No, he just had to grit through it. If he were going to do this, if he were really going to _learn_ from it, he couldn’t relent. That would only leave doubt in his mind, and if he were honest, yes… In this moment, he wanted it.

He pushed past Deidara’s band, giving him but one experimental thrust before fucking him hard. Deidara seemed to have lost all semblance of sanity, grunting and writhing against Sasuke’s cock. Sasuke plowed into Deidara harder, and it wasn’t long before he’d orgasmed again. Deidara nearly screamed, unleashing in three separate spurts. Sasuke didn’t blame him, after all that workup. Sasuke continued to thrust in and out of Deidara.

“You…” Deidara muttered. It seemed like now that he’d finally come back into himself, if only slightly. “I want you to cum. Keep going.”

And he did, but for whatever reason, he felt blocked. He knew that Deidara was sore. Sasuke was desperate. He allowed his eyes to lid, taking in Deidara’s blond hair. It’d been pinned short earlier to avoid it catching fire. The ink on Deidara’s back was a mixture of warm colors, not unlike Naruto’s fox. Should Sasuke allow his gaze to become unfocused, Deidara almost looked like…

“N-Naruto…”

The instant Sasuke heard this word leave his lips, he was mortified.

“Keep going!” Deidara ordered.

Sasuke clenched his eyes shut, imagining Naruto underneath him, that same fox he had etched on his back directly under his gaze. God, how badly did he wish it was Naruto here with him now. He so painfully missed him. He missed his awkward laughs, the stone-cold look of bravery on his face, the way that Naruto would unravel when they made love. He missed the warm glow he felt around Naruto, the times where Sasuke wondered if maybe there was some good in him after all. He missed the man who made him care about this in the first place. They’d been separated for so many months. Yet in this moment, he missed Naruto more rawly than Sasuke had since he’d left. Why couldn’t it be Naruto in front of him?

“Naru!”

And Sasuke finally felt himself unleash inside of Deidara, his body humming with equal parts adrenaline and humiliation. Fortunately, Deidara didn’t seem the slightest bit fazed by the mixup.

Sasuke pulled himself out of Deidara gently, taking his filled condom and placing it in the trash can. He tucked his manhood back into his briefs, buckling his pants. Returning to Deidara’s side, he held Deidara up with one arm as he first unbound Deidara’s left hand, followed by his right. Sasuke told Deidara to grasp the cross as he untied Deidara’s feet.

With Deidara’s first step, his knees crumbled underneath him. Sasuke had expected this, positioned to catch Deidara without exacerbating the wounds on Deidara’s back. He lifted Deidara into bed, resting him on his chest.

“You’re strong,” Deidara murmured.

“Mhm…” Sasuke replied absently. What the hell had gotten into him? How had he called Naruto’s name, now of all times?

“That was…” Deidara trailed off, his voice hoarse from all of the howling and shrieking he’d done earlier. “Damn, you really are no rookie.”

“You don’t need to tell me that.”

Sasuke offered his glass of water to Deidara.

“Sip at this.”

Deidara obeyed, taking small sips.

“I’m going to treat your wounds,” Sasuke told Deidara, looking down at the welts and slight amounts of blood on Deidara’s back.

He cleaned the wounds, one after another, coating them with ointment.

“So…” Deidara muttered, his accent particularly strong now in his fatigue. “Who is this Naruto person?”

Sasuke just about choked.

“No one you should concern yourself with.”

“Ah, but he seems very important to you,” Deidara replied, the slightest bit of laughter in his tone.

“You know, I can make this hurt.”

Deidara chuckled, his voice still hushed after it had been so badly strained.

“Did he break up with you?”

Sasuke stopped his ministrations, giving a frustrated sigh.

“C’mon. I’m interested as a friend.”

Clearly, Deidara wasn’t letting Sasuke take his humiliation in peace.

“He’s a guy I’m seeing. We’re in an open relationship.”

Deidara couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Damn. You must be fuckin’ head over toes for this guy.”

Sasuke was thankful that Deidara was facing the bed, as he felt his face grow several shades redder.

“I am not!”

Deidara’s modest chuckling now became laughter. He winced as his body’s movements irritated his wounds.

“Textbook. How can you not recognize it? Haven’t you ever been in love before?”

The nerve of this son of a bitch! Sasuke had half a mind to slap him, but that would hardly be conducive to the aftercare.

“That’s none of your business.”

Sasuke was frowning as he continued to tend to Deidara’s wounds, albeit somewhat reluctantly now.

“I… I think I get it. You did this hoping that it’d make some sense out of your relationship with this guy. Am I right?”

Sasuke paused.

“And what if you _are_ right?”

Deidara simply shrugged.

“Then we both got what we wanted out of this night.”

Sasuke sighed, bandaging Deidara’s back.

“Life is too short to spend it afraid of love, Sasuke,” Deidara muttered.

Sasuke had never said that he was afraid. But was Deidara wrong?

“Now who sounds like an old man?” Sasuke answered, finally finished treating Deidara’s wounds.

“Stay?” Deidara asked, turning his head and looking back at Sasuke.

“I have an early flight,” Sasuke replied.

“I understand.”

Now Sasuke had his sorely-needed enlightenment. So why was he left feeling cold and hollow?

* * *

Sasuke felt as though he was on autopilot as he readied himself the next morning for his flight. He had hardly been able to shut his eyes, let alone actually get any sleep last night. He took a long, hot shower, yet he still felt somehow dirty. He felt like Naruto was the only one who could ever make him clean.

He’d never experienced something like this before. He remembered when his mother had taken him to his first ice rink when he was a child. She’d laced his skates on, and as soon as Sasuke took his first step, his knees buckled, and he braced himself against a wall. His ankles wobbled back and forth as he entered the ice. It felt as though he’d spent his entire relationship with Naruto like this, misstep after misstep as he moved in a way so foreign to him.

Yet that wall that had existed in Sasuke’s childhood was no longer present. There was no bracing himself. He’d entered the rink without even realizing it, and now he was dead center. As undeserving as he felt, he wanted nothing more than to hear Naruto’s voice. Both the night before and his flight back to New York left him with this anticipation.

As Sasuke’s flight landed, he turned his phone back on. In a mere five minutes, it rung.

“Hello?” Sasuke answered, sounding a little frustrated as he waited to get off of his plane.

“Sasuke!”

Sasuke’s eyes widened, and before he knew it his entire face was seized by a grin.

“Naruto! Are you okay?”

“Yeah!” Naruto answered, sounding quite chipper. “I’m glad you landed on time. How have you been? How was the convention?”

Of course, Naruto thought of Sasuke first.

“That’s my line. What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

Naruto sighed.

“Yeah, everyone is fine. It’s so fuckin’ stupid!” he griped. “All we did was change locations! Like we were just driving around and had some issues with some of the tanks. So we had to dick around for awhile.”

Only when Sasuke’s entire body relaxed did Sasuke realize he’d been so tense to begin with. He found his hand resting on his chest but had no memory of placing it there.

No one was hurt. The only reason they’d shut down communications was so that any enemies wouldn’t somehow be able to intercept their plans.

“I wish I had telekinesis,” Naruto grumbled. “We could just read each other’s minds.”

“Don’t you mean telepathy?” Sasuke asked, a pierced brow arched.

“Same thing.”

“Not at all.”

“Oh, not at all,” Naruto parroted in his best know-it-all imitation.

Sasuke wondered how he ever got so attached to this idiot.

“I missed you so much,” Naruto laughed, sounding a little sheepish. “It’s hardest when things get slow.”

Sasuke closed his eyes, holding the phone to his ear and smiling.

“Yeah… Same.”

“I mean… Vlad has been hangin’ limp for a while now. Kinda like a depressed elephant.”

Sasuke’s brow twitched. Not this again.

“How has Richard been hangin’?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Richard!” Naruto shouted. “Richard, can you hear me? Vlad is looking for you!”

Sasuke rested his face in his hand, suffering through secondhand embarrassment. This feeling had become routine for him since meeting Naruto.

“Now, how was the convention?”

Sasuke felt a lump in his throat as he searched for words.

How could he explain something like this to Naruto? Most people found themselves to be monogamous by default, yet Sasuke didn’t even think that monogamy was possible for him. Most people needed love to have sex. He didn’t. Most people felt some form of attachment afterward, but not him. Sasuke’s mind didn’t work as most people’s did, and that included Naruto’s.

Naruto deserved to know, and given enough time, he would know. But now? Sasuke knew that Naruto was already concerned about losing Sasuke. He didn’t want Naruto agonizing over the possibility of Sasuke sleeping with someone else, especially when this fear had just now become totally unrealistic. He didn’t want Naruto to worry about losing him to Deidara while his mind was left to wander during those long Afghan days. The only thing that scene had done for Sasuke was to drive him straight to Naruto.

Sasuke could handle difficult conversations. He could break the news in whichever way he liked. He just didn’t want Naruto to hurt. Naruto needed all the strength he could muster over the coming months. They could figure things out later, once he’d built up Naruto’s confidence.

“It was...really busy. The panel went well. There’s a lot of hype.”

“Hype?” Naruto asked, sounding a little too excited for his own good. “What kinda hype?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“I’ve pretty much booked up for next year’s convention now, and the Grip has gotten a lot of publicity.”

Naruto laughed, “Holy shit, already booked for a year out?!”

He paused for a moment.

“I’m sorry, Sasuke, but I just had like a shitton of coffees, and I think it was too much caffeine cuz my hand’s shaking a little. But maybe I’m just excited?”

Sasuke closed his eyes as he let out a long, frustrated sigh, despite the smile on his face.

“Chill, spazoid.”

“Mnnnn,” Naruto whined. “I have to leave soon! Communications opened a few hours ago while you were still in the air, but a lot of people still haven’t been able to reach their families yet.”

Sasuke frowned, only now noticing that the airplane had almost cleared. He left his seat and started walking up the aisle.

“Hey, Naru…”

“Hm?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke was so tempted to tell Naruto everything, right then and there. The innocence and purity in Naruto’s tone were almost painful. But this wouldn’t help either one of them.

“Call back again soon.”

Sasuke heard a quiet “heh” over the phone.

Sasuke had always closed their conversations by telling Naruto to call only when it was convenient, to spend his time relaxing or hanging out with his friends. This was the first time Sasuke requested Naruto to reach out to him.

“Can’t get enough of me, eh?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke’s silence spoke for him.

“I’ll call you next chance I get, okay?” Naruto replied.

“Thanks.”

There was another silence over the line.

“Well… I have to go now.”

“Okay. Take good care of yourself.”

“Yeah…” Naruto answered. “You too, Snookums.”

Before Sasuke had the opportunity to hang up on Naruto, Sasuke was met with a dial tone. What a cheap move.

* * *

As Sasuke returned to work, he could already feel the convention’s impact. He was now booked for weeks out, and some of his more obnoxious customers kept trying to photograph him. Sasuke did notice a bump in his business when he first started attending conventions, but it had been nothing like this. He wondered if he’d ever be able to accept walk-ins again. Maybe it was a combination of the panel and the tattoo contests his customers won, Sasuke wondered. And as loathe as he was to admit it, merely being affiliated with Deidara came with its perks.

His parlor would alternate between playing CDs, which it did the vast majority of the time, and the radio. Throughout his entire life, he’d listened to the love songs that would play on the radio. People seemed to think highly about being in love, if the number of songs about it were any indication. Yet when Sasuke listened to these songs, the lyrics never resonated with him, nor could he ever imagine himself feeling this way. Either these songs were massive exaggerations, or he was an anomaly.

But now… Now the songs made sense - at least to an extent. Was this that feeling that everyone talked about so much? What all the songs and poems are about? He could say that the way he felt now was unlike how he’d ever felt before. But he had yet to feel the ever-touted butterflies in his stomach and awkward speechlessness upon hearing Naruto’s voice.

Sasuke ignored Deidara’s multiple texts: “How’s it going, Lover Boy?” “Get any dick yet?” “I won’t forgive you if you don’t invite me to the wedding.”

It seemed that this was Deidara’s new go-to when it came to teasing him. He liked seeing Sasuke frazzled, and this was an easy target. He mused to himself that the past half year had been the most confusing time of his adult life. Luckily, Shikamaru had always been helpful in these regards.

Shikamaru had seen fit to get his lazy ass all the way to Sasuke’s apartment this time. In return, Sasuke had made them a chicken breast salad. It was a fair trade.

They’d made small talk as they ate their lunches. Sasuke hadn’t told Shikamaru about River City. After all, there was nothing that could be done about it, and it had only lasted a few days.

“So, how was the convention?”

Shikamaru must’ve sensed something, because Sasuke didn’t miss the way Shikamaru’s eyes made their way over to Sasuke’s face for just the slightest instant before returning to the dish in front of him. He was clearly looking for Sasuke’s reaction, which Sasuke hadn’t bothered to hide.

“Oh no. What happened?”

Sasuke frowned.

“Nothing bad,” Sasuke corrected. “It was just...confusing.”

“Go on.”

“The professional part of it went really well. I don’t think that business will ever be the same for the Grip, or at least not for a while.”

“And?” Shikamaru asked, resting his chin on the heel of his hand.

Sasuke frowned. He had yet to put what had happened that night into words, and he was finding it difficult.

“I was trying to make sense of everything going on with Naruto. He clearly wants a closed relationship, but I didn’t think that it was possible for me. Or any sort of relationship, really.”

Sasuke was sure that Shikamaru had his theories about what he was going to say next.

“So I decided to test it. Deidara and I had a scene, and it was… I didn’t know he’d had it in him. It was intense, and I got to do everything I could want. And I thought that if anyone would give me that spark, it’d be him. He’s one of the best tattooists out there, and I respect him. I thought…”

A faint, knowing grin emerged on Shikamaru’s face. It pissed Sasuke off.

“What?” Sasuke prompted, sounding a little miffed.

“You couldn’t do it, could you?”

Sasuke frowned.

“No, I did. But I thought of Naruto almost the whole time. I kept thinking how badly I wished it could’ve been him. In the end…”

Sasuke decided not to finish that sentence. He’d take that secret to his grave.

Deidara had summarized things neatly that night. Sasuke had easily the most influential tattooist in the industry tied down, whimpering and pleading. Deidara became puddy beneath him. Just a year ago, Sasuke would’ve jumped at the opportunity. Yet Sasuke couldn’t stop thinking about Naruto.

“Sasuke…” Shikamaru began.

“Mn?” Sasuke prompted without looking up from his plate.

“When I asked to have lunch with you and Naruto… Frankly, I consider you to be a better judge of character than even I am. My main goal wasn’t meeting Naruto.”

It was true that Sasuke’s instinct could sometimes grant him clarity that even Shikamaru lacked. Yet if Shikamaru wasn’t analyzing Naruto, then…

“I wasn’t watching him. I was watching you.”

Sasuke’s jaw dropped ever so slightly. He almost felt violated, despite knowing that Shikamaru’s intentions were good. Even after twenty years of knowing Shikamaru, his razor-sharp insight could still unnerve him.

“I watched everything, down to the most minute movement.”

Sasuke knew that Shikamaru was analyzing everything down to his breathing pattern, mirrored body posture, and exactly how long he held Naruto’s eye contact. Hell, if he was close enough, maybe he was even watching his pupils.

“And?”

“Whatever you share with him… I’ve never seen you connect with anyone this way.”

Sasuke swallowed.

“So, what are you trying to say? Are you telling me that I’m…”

“It doesn’t matter what you call it,” Shikamaru interrupted. “But I suppose the word ‘love’ isn’t far off.”

Sasuke grit his teeth, an anger building up in him that he had no explanation for. And again, he remembered his first time on an ice rink. How many times had he fallen?

But he got up, and he learned.

“If you’ve believed that for all of this time, why didn’t you just say so?”

Shikamaru smirked.

“Would you have believed me?”

Sasuke had no retort for that.

“I knew you needed to figure this out for yourself. Besides…” Shikamaru trailed off, his eyes leaving his plate and meeting Sasuke’s. “It seems cruel to tell someone that they’re overlooking something special, just as it’s being taken away from them.”

Sasuke sighed, lowering his gaze to the table.

“Even if you’re right… I don’t think I could be the man he needs me to be. Some way or another, I’m going to fuck up.”

“Look…” Shikamaru answered, his face so typically chalant. “He’s not asking you to marry him. You don’t have to promise that it’s gonna work out.”

Sasuke realized this, but all the same he could only see himself causing Naruto pain in the long-run.

“If it doesn’t work, then you break up.”

Shikamaru had a way of making this seem so simple.

“You know that I’m not good,” Sasuke muttered. “Nor am I kind, patient, affectionate, consistent… Really any of the things required to have a healthy relationship.”

“First of all, you need to cut yourself some slack,” Shikamaru answered. “Secondly, I believe that people can change. And if your true feelings for him are even a fraction of what I’d sensed, then you have the motivation to do it.”

Yet every time in Sasuke’s life that he’d seen someone change, it had been for the worse. Could he really change?

“And your determination in reaching your goals is almost terrifying.”

“I can’t say you’re wrong,” Sasuke smirked.

“It’s your choice,” Shikamaru added. “But I haven’t seen you look so happy in a long time.”

He had hoped to find clarity in this conversation, but he only felt more confused.

“And who knows… If you end up in a relationship, maybe I’ll finally put the moves on Temari.”

Perhaps Shikamaru sensed that he’d given Sasuke enough to think about for the time being.

“How many years is it gonna be until you just kiss her?”

Temari had gone through two different boyfriends in the years that Shikamaru had crushed on her. After all, she couldn’t be expected to wait this whole time.

Shikamaru frowned.

“Well, we haven’t even been on a date yet.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. They two of them had been hanging out for years.

“You probably had about a hundred dates. The way you act around each other is nauseating. Nut up.”

Even the most impressive geniuses could be daft when it was time to point that acumen inward, Sasuke mused.

“Yeah, well…”

Shikamaru started to fiddle with his fingers. It wasn’t often Sasuke saw him get nervous, and a more sadistic part of him was really appreciating the change in dynamics.

Sasuke sighed, “We’re hopeless.”

Shikamaru snickered, shaking his head.

“Can’t argue with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm imagining you all have mixed feelings on this chapter. Sasuke's finally had his wakeup call.
> 
> Good news: my best friend's made a truly miraculous recovery, though not without permanent damage. He's 6'2" (188 cm), and he went from 106 pounds to 150 pounds (48 kg to 68 kg). It didn't look like he'd live more than a couple weeks, but who knows now? It almost feels too good to be true.
> 
> I'm also going back to work this Thursday. I've written ahead a little bit, but I'm sure I'll be absolutely swamped.


	24. Captain America

Naruto could hardly contain his enthusiasm as he grasped the briefcase-sized package that had arrived for him from none other than his beloved.

He ran across the barracks shouting, “My girlfriend sent me a package!”

There was something about receiving something tactile. His first move had been to softly rattle the box, just as he would as a child eagerly awaiting Christmas. When all he heard was ruffling, he gave it another rough shake.

“Hey, when are we ever gonna see a picture of this so-called girlfriend of yours?” one of the Marines called back. “Starting to wonder if she even exists.”

Naruto just happened to be the only entangled person who had no pictures to share. Whenever he started speaking about Sasuke more frequently, he’d get those same questions, which he had no real answer to. He’d made a note to be more close-lipped around those he didn’t fully trust, but this excitement had gotten the best of him today.

“I thought I told you that she’s a vampire,” Naruto answered with a pout.

The man rolled his eyes and continued his business.

Of his closer friends, Tenten seemed to be the most curious. Yet over time, she stopped asking. Now seven months had passed since Naruto had come to Afghanistan. He was relieved that he could mention Sasuke to Lee, Neji, and Tenten without getting grilled, though he’d hidden Sasuke’s gender even from them.

Naruto finally arrived at his bed, tearing through the cardboard as if he were trying for a world record. When he finally opened it, there was a long note in Sasuke’s writing, as well as several drawings of nature and landscapes. It was all done in ink and pen. This must’ve been what Sasuke had meant when he’d told him that he was branching out.

He gently took the portraits, which were the size of a standard sheet of paper, out of the package and laid them before him.

It was on a thick paper with a matte finish. One was a detailed drawing of a crow in its nest. Another one showed a small, quaint town that was framed by a lake, with enormous mountains looming behind them. On the lower right hand corner was written “Hallstatt, Austria.” And yet another portrayed the landscape of Tokyo, in feudal style, with Mt. Fuji taking up the majority of the background.

It seemed as though Sasuke’s artistry knew no bounds. Naruto knew that Sasuke’s skills as a tattooist must carry over into other art forms, but Sasuke had already attained the mastery of a professional in his ink drawings. Sasuke signed and dated each one to the exact day, much to Naruto’s pleasure. Before Naruto had left for the war, he would chide Sasuke for not dating his works.

A big grin burst out on his face as he took a Captain America figurine out of the package, coupled with all sorts of American candy. Naruto had asked Sasuke to send him one, and this seemed like the perfect fit. Naruto had returned to his original post just two weeks ago. He’d missed Konohamaru over the months that they’d been separated, and now he had the perfect present for him. After all this time, Konohamaru never seemed to stop calling him Captain America, and of course, Naruto was always invited to buy everything from Gatorade to playing cards from Konohamaru.

Naruto placed the figurine by his bedside, just to the side of Sasuke’s drawings. Sasuke had surely spent many hours making those. He wasn’t exactly the sentimental sort, but in acts like this Naruto could feel the way Sasuke cared about him. If anything, he had only sensed those feelings growing over the past couple months.

He wondered if Sasuke had realized something about himself when he’d had his first River City. Naruto felt as though he noticed a shift after that. Sasuke would admit that he missed him. His tone of voice would grow softer. He’d remember even the slightest details that Naruto shared about his life, just as Naruto remembered even the slightest minutia of Sasuke’s life.

Now, the best part: the letter.

It was on a simple cream stationary, crimson ink scrawling across the page. Naruto had yet to see so much of Sasuke’s handwriting. He wrote in cursive, the script neat enough to have come from a computer. Naruto grinned, working up his blanket around him as he read.

_Naruto -_

_I hope you’re doing well. You’ll have to bear with me. I’ve never written a letter before. I don’t understand what you find so interesting about my routine life, but here goes nothing…_

_Two months later, the post-convention demand peak hasn’t abated in the slightest. I contemplated working longer hours but decided against it. I’ve also been getting pressure to open up shop in other areas of the country by training new staff. Maintaining my level of rigor around quality will be difficult with expansion, so I refuse to do it._

Naruto couldn’t help but roll his eyes with a smile. Sasuke was ever the businessman.

_There’s a concept known as scarcity-induced demand. It was not my intention, but keeping the so-called “supply” limited has created a lot of hype, which then caused demand to skyrocket. Accordingly, I’m considering bringing a new artist on board. People are asking for things like branded Satin Grip merchandise. That’s just not what we do._

This all came as no surprise to Naruto. The thought of all of this hype made him jealous. While he was happy for Sasuke, he wanted the man all to himself.

_Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo are all doing well. You’ll notice a sealed envelope, which I was ordered not to open. I question my judgment in acquiescing. It seems the three of them had fun putting it together, if all of the laughter was any indication. I have no idea what’s in there, but it doesn’t bode well with me. You’ve been warned._

In all honesty, that only made Naruto more curious.

_In further breaking news, Shikamaru continues to be a bum._

_The drawings are pretty self-explanatory. There’s another envelope you’ll see with some pictures. The four of us messed around with a Polaroid. They’re pretty boring, but apparently you like boring._

Naruto almost squealed when he noticed those two additional envelopes. He was torn between urges to finish the letter, which was drawing to a close, and to look at the photographs.

_I don’t know if you can find time to write back or not. I miss you. I really do._

A breath caught in Naruto’s throat upon reading this, making it feel a little tight as he swallowed. Even the slightest affection from Sasuke still held the same punch it always did.

_Anyway, no pressure. If you need me, don’t hesitate to let me know. Keep doing your thing. I’ll be waiting for you when you get home._

\- Sasuke 


Naruto held the letter up to his chest for several seconds, sniffing and just barely detecting Sasuke’s scent. He felt his eyes tearing up, ever so slightly. It seemed like an eternity since he’d last smelled Sasuke.

He worked his way over to the envelope, which was thick with the Polaroid pictures. He opened it gently.

One shot featured an enormous line outside of the Satin grip, with Suigetsu in the forefront giving a thumbs up. This must’ve been what Sasuke was talking about when he mentioned the demand spike. Sasuke wrote on the back:

_March ‘03  
We had to turn most of these people away._

A picture of Sasuke finishing up a breathtakingly realistic three dimensional tattoo on a woman’s back was the next he pulled out. He’d always thought that Sasuke looked so gorgeous while he worked, that look of concentration on his face both endearing and arousing. This had clearly been a candid shot.

He noticed that Sasuke now had deep red streaks in his hair, rather than the blue that Naruto had remembered him with. His bangs were longer too. It only figured that over all of this time Sasuke would change his style. Yet it left him with this bittersweet feeling of time passing without him. He found himself wondering exactly what Sasuke would like like when he returned.

That picture was dated with a handwriting that Naruto didn’t recognize.

_April ‘03_

Another picture, this time of Sasuke shirtless, his pants falling provocatively low as he smirked at the camera. Sasuke’s happy trail was cut short, the dermal anchors on Sasuke’s hips just barely peeking through.

_I’ll be waiting.  
March ‘03_

Despite knowing that he was alone, Naruto’s instinct compelled him to check for onlookers as he felt his face flush bright red. Damn it, who could blame him? Over time, he’d forgotten just how stunning Sasuke was. Cool it, Vlad. Naruto crossed his legs.

And another picture, this time of Ali, resting by Sasuke’s couch in perfect condition. Naruto couldn’t help but groan. He missed his guitar so badly! What he wouldn’t give to play Voodoo Chile on it right now...

_She’s waiting for you too.  
March ‘03_

There was another picture taken from Sasuke’s balcony. It showed none other but the ink drawing of the crow, back when it was still a work in progress. Paintbrushes rested on the easel, and a half-finished glass of red wine was on the table. The background of the picture took up all of Manhattan just as dawn was ushered in. It was breathtaking. Was photography yet another talent Sasuke had?

A picture of some of the more impressive graffiti in the city. Another of Sasuke nursing a truly enormous thermos of coffee at Grinds. One of Sasuke’s friends must have taken it. He looked at the camera with the slightest smile, and the expression took Naruto’s breath away.

Naruto couldn’t help but be disappointed as he reached the end of them. The only thing left was the package from the rest of the Satin Grip staff.

He found letters from all three of them. Karin mentioned having gone to Seattle recently to visit her father. She said it reminded her of him. Juugo mentioned visiting family for a week in upstate New York over Christmas. The weather had apparently been miserable. Suigetsu had of course referenced Juugo’s complaint in his own letter, saying that he’d recently visited his family in Yakutsk - one of the most frigid regions of Siberia. He then railed on everybody for being such wimps. Suigetsu attached a small watercolor painting of a flower. It couldn’t have taken him longer than about twenty minutes, but it was beautiful nonetheless.

In all three letters, there had been one consistent theme. It left no doubt in Naruto’s mind about why Sasuke had been ordered not to open it.

They told Naruto that Sasuke looked forward to his calls every day. That should Sasuke see the appropriate numbers on his call ID, he’d run for privacy with almost total disregard for the situation at hand. Suigetsu commented that it was quite pathetic to watch his boss revert into an adolescent female before his eyes. And he’d always remember Juugo’s words: “Don’t let his demeanor fool you. You are very special to him, and he needs you.”

Suigetsu told Naruto that there was now a severe shortage of customers fainting on their premises and that Naruto was needed for comic relief. Karin told him that the place they’d gotten those free burritos at had really taken off, and she’d like to eat there with him when he got back. And yes, all three of them missed him and hoped that he would return soon.

Naruto was left feeling both ecstatic and emotionally overwhelmed. It made him miss Sasuke. It made him miss his old apartment in Brooklyn, the Grip, Kiba, Mugs… He so badly wished that he could just go home and hold Sasuke in his arms. He wanted to kiss him on the tip of his ear and lull him to sleep by rubbing his back. He wanted to feel Sasuke’s warmth and know that he wasn’t alone.

Throughout the day, he couldn’t shake the bittersweet daze that lingered around him. The package that Sasuke had sent him exceeded his wildest expectations. If only he could tell Sasuke that in person. What Juugo had said to him reassured all those sickening doubts in his stomach. Yes, Sasuke _needed_ him.

Naruto couldn’t help but carry the picture around of Sasuke smiling with his coffee for the remainder of the day. Against his better judgment, he also kept the more suggestive picture on his body as well.

He shared the news of the package with Lee, Neji, and Tenten over dinner. They seemed happy for him. After dinner, Lee went off to do his night yoga. If his schedule allowed, he’d do this every night at nine. He’d say that there was something refreshing about the cool night air, and the weather certainly had been heating up lately.

This night, Naruto figured he’d join him. They chattered as they stretched their arms, backs, legs… Naruto bent down, yet again, to touch his toes. It was then that two Polaroid pictures fell out of his pockets. A gust of breeze blew them over to Lee. Just as Naruto reached out for them, Lee picked them up.

“Here you…”

Lee’s eyes widened as his eyes fell upon the two pictures. Unfortunately, both photographs had fallen face up. The shock in Lee’s eyes left, followed by a grin.

Naruto quickly took the pictures, putting them back in his pocket again and blushing.

“Naruto, pardon if I’m being rude, but is this Sasuke?”

Naruto stood with his mouth ajar for several seconds, not finding the words to respond. Lee was an open-minded person. Naruto knew that he’d come around. But he’d been lying to all of their friends from the day he’d arrived.

Lee seemed to take that as confirmation.

“He’s…” Lee trailed off as Naruto swallowed hard. “Unbelievably stunning. What a winner!”

Was that really it? Naruto opened his mouth to speak again but failed, looking like a gasping fish out of water.

“Are you…” Naruto paused, continuing in a hushed voice. “Are you really okay with this?”

Lee brought his voice down to match Naruto’s.

“Naruto, I couldn’t care less about Sasuke’s gender. You’ve found love! It’s beautiful, and I’m so happy for you. Nothing could change that.”

But that hadn’t really been Naruto’s fear. He’d had a good feeling that Lee would be reasonable.

“But I’ve been lying to you,” Naruto mumbled. “Ever since I got here.”

He wanted honesty with his friends, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty for even the slightest untruths. This was a big one.

“We understand why you did it.”

We? Naruto couldn’t help the cornered look that emerged on his face.

“Neji, Tenten and I…” Lee quickly followed up. “We knew that you would never make someone up. But you couldn’t explain why you had no photos. Sasuke didn’t seem shy, from your descriptions of him. This was the most logical explanation.”

Naruto frowned, swallowing tight. It had been awhile since he’d felt so humiliated.

“But I lied, to all of you,” Naruto said, looking down. “Is everyone really okay with that?”

Lee put his hand on Naruto’s shoulder, causing him to look back up at him. He gave Naruto a bright smile.

“The fact that you’re so upset by this means that you really are a good man. We understand why you did what you did. You were just being safe.”

Naruto, and presumably Lee, were quite familiar with the US military’s Dont Ask, Don’t Tell policy. It barred openly queer people from serving in the military, as homosexuality would apparently create “an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order, and discipline.” No one was permitted to ask Naruto what his sexual orientation was, and likewise, Naruto was ordered not to share it.

Naruto shook his head.

“No, that was at first. I soon knew that you guys could be trusted. I just didn’t have courage to confess after I lied to you for so long. Please don’t think that it was because I didn’t trust you.”

Naruto would always look for the “right time,” But over the months, he had yet to find it. The more time passed, the more difficult Naruto found this to be.

“It must be scary sometimes,” Lee mused. “To have a secret that could get you in so much trouble. It’s...so wrong that you need to hide it at all.”

Naruto nodded in wordless agreement. It was bullshit, but there was little that any of them could do about it.

“You can tell us things like this, okay?” Lee added, patting Naruto on the back. “We’re friends. Naruto, you can tell me anything.”

Naruto knit his brows together.

“Look… You are… You help me keep going. You have this way about you that makes people try harder and feel like everything will be okay. I want to be that same person for you.”

Naruto hadn’t suspected that he had this effect on people. His jaw hung open ever so slightly at Lee’s ferver.

“Lee…” Naruto was so happy he could nearly cry. He reached forward, giving Lee a rough bear hug and shaking him around. “You’re too good for this world!”

“Naruto, you’re making me dizzy.”

“Dizzy with the weight of my love for you, dude!”

“I guess I can’t turn that down.”

Naruto felt so blessed to have someone like Lee in his life.

An awkward conversation might await him, but it felt as though a physical weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Finally, he could stop hiding.

* * *

Naruto had eagerly awaited their next trip to the local market. He now had Konohamaru in his sights, the boy absentmindedly pushing around his rolling ice chest. Two other children stood by his side. One was a female with pigtails named Moegi. Udon was a shorter boy with glasses and a perpetually runny nose.

The girl noticed Naruto approach from behind. He held a finger up to his lips, gesturing for her to be quiet.

“Woosh!” Naruto called out behind Konohamaru, making plenty of flying sound effects as he brought the Captain America figurine up to Konohamaru’s shoulder. “From Captain America, with love.”

Konohamaru’s entire face lit up, as did the other children’s.

“Captain America!”

He jumped over and wrapped his hands around Naruto’s waist.

“I thought you might never come back!” he said.

“Yeah!” Moegi added. “It is boring without you.”

“And that’s not all I brought.”

Naruto reached into his pocket, producing several fistfuls of the candy Sasuke had mailed him. All three of the children were laughing amongst the crinkling of candy wrappers. At times like this, despite the horror that was war, he was reminded that there was so much good on this planet.

As they had many times before, they played together. Naruto chased the children, holding them up and swinging them around as they giggled. He had always been told that he was good with children, and his interaction with these kids confirmed it.

Naruto couldn’t wait until the war was over. Then he could finally start studying to be a teacher. He could spend almost every day making children happy and equipping them for a better life. He’d guide even the ones most hesitant to take direction, just like Iruka had done for him when he was as a teenager. The man had changed his life, and he hoped that he could do the same for others.

His three friends had noticed him sneak away. Apparently they wanted to be in on the fun; it wouldn’t have been the first time that the three of them had kept Naruto and the children company. Lee approached, playing helicopter with Udon perched on his shoulders. Tenten, meanwhile, got to braiding Moegi’s hair. Neji bought a Gatorade from Konohamaru, taking long sips as he watched his friends play with a mild smile on his face.

“Out!” Naruto heard a voice shout from far away.

A young man came walking toward them, flailing his arms around as he angrily spoke to them in Arabic. Naruto couldn’t exactly blame the man for not trusting them. They were all fitted with rifles, and he might have seen other people in the same uniform do some terrifying things.

“Shoo!”

The three kids looked up at them with sunken stares. The man grabbed Konohamaru by the ear, jerking him away.

“Ah!” Konohamaru gasped, soon relenting.

Konohamaru waved at Naruto as he was being pulled away. Naruto frowned, disappointed that their time had been cut short. Nonetheless, he had some spare time now. The phones were less busy in this early time of the day, when everyone’s families were fast asleep back in America. He used the opportunity to call Sasuke.

“Hello?” Sasuke answered, sounding half-awake.

It was that intimate tone of voice that Sasuke would use as he straddled the border of slumber and wakefulness. Despite the occurrences of the day, he couldn’t help but feel roused by it.

“Dude, it’s 11 over there, isn’t it? What the hell?”

“It’s my day off,” Sasuke groused. “Shove it.”

He heard Sasuke yawn on the other side of the line.

“Couldn’t sleep last night?”

“Dozed off an hour or so after sunrise.”

“Mn…” Naruto answered, allowing a few seconds of pause. “So, I got your package today.”

“Finally.”

It had been just over three weeks, but the anticipation had been killer.

“I… I really liked it, Sasuke.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Sasuke responded simply, as if he hadn’t invested an untold number of hours in that effort.

“The guys…” Naruto trailed off. “I told them about you. I showed them your picture.”

“I see. Everything okay?”

Sasuke knew why Naruto had been so hesitant to reveal this information.

“Yeah,” Naruto answered. “It was an accident, honestly, but now they know. I felt really guilty lying to them this whole time.”

Naruto had to conclude that last sentence with a nervous laugh.

“I’ve told you this before, but there’s no need for you to feel guilty. The only ones who should feel guilty are the ones making the subject taboo to begin with.”

Whenever Sasuke spoke, his voice was drenched in confidence. It made it difficult not to believe what he said, though Lee had told Naruto the same thing.

“I guess you’re right,” Naruto sighed. “That artwork… It’s unbelievable.”

“Mn…” Sasuke mumbled, sounding less than thrilled. “It’s about what I expected, given the limited time I’ve invested so far.”

Sasuke sounded so unimpressed. Naruto had yet to see any flaws in the drawings, but he was sure that Sasuke could list them off one by one. He couldn’t help but remember that awkward look on Sasuke’s face when he played that cacophonous F chord as Naruto taught him how to play the guitar.

“How long did it take you to draw all of those?”

There was silence over the line.

“A long time. I need to practice and didn’t know what to do with the leftovers.”

It was so like Sasuke to play it off. How could someone call those pieces of art “leftovers”? Naruto grinned.

“I gave Konohamaru the figurine, by the way,” Naruto continued. “He was really happy.”

“Good.”

Naruto huffed out some air, feeling restless.

“I… I just wanna get back and be a teacher already, ya know? I want to help people.” Naruto began. “My whole life’s on pause.”

“Yeah…” Sasuke replied. “You...really care about those kids, don’t you?”

“Of course I care about the kiddos!” Naruto answered. “They’re so sweet and fun. And they love me.”

“We’re so different in that regard,” Sasuke sighed. “I can’t stand kids.”

Naruto laughed.

“You can’t stand _anyone_. You’re just a grouch.”

“You’re not wrong,” Sasuke answered nonchalantly. He paused for a moment. “Naruto, you really are a good man. I hope you realize that.”

Naruto’s face flushed, the directness of the statement catching him off guard.

“Hah, where did that come from?” Naruto laughed nervously. “Of course I am! In fact, I’m the greatest man that has ever lived.”

He was grinning ear to ear.

“Never mind. I take back what I said.”

Naruto fell into a deep belly laugh, and he could hear Sasuke join him with a quiet chuckle. Naruto wished that time would fly by, so that he could rest in Sasuke’s arms again.

\--

Months passed, leading to the grueling heat of June. As he walked through the market, he noticed a thermometer for sale reading 46 degrees Celsius. Naruto had grown used to converting the temperatures. It was a good 115 degrees Fahrenheit outside. Sweat dripped down Naruto’s brow, one after the other, stinging his chapped lips when they made contact. Every movement he made felt more difficult in this suffocating heat, but he was growing more accustomed to it.

They were soon going to move. He’d hinted as much to Sasuke, as vaguely as possible. He hadn’t shared the date or the location. At least then he wouldn’t be so concerned when River City was called. He hoped that he would be relocated to somewhere much cooler than the town that rested in this basin.

This time, it didn’t look like they’d be coming back. Naruto only wished he could say goodbye to the villagers that he had befriended, both adults and children alike. Of course, this was impossible. He tried to smile as he stopped by to see Konohamaru and the children.

The children, now more than just that small group of three, ran up to Naruto and hugged him. He played with them for a few minutes, but the deadly summer sun sapped him. When he walked over to Konohamaru to buy a Gatorade, he noticed that he wasn’t smiling.

“Hey, Konohamaru. What’s up?”

Konohamaru’s hand fidgeted with the hem of the shirt. It seemed to take some courage for Konohamaru to look Naruto in the eyes again.

“Are you moving?”

Naruto’s jaw hung agape. Konohamaru couldn’t know...could he?

“What are you talking about?” Naruto played off with a grin.

“No, you _are_ moving,” Konohamaru said, looking deep into Naruto’s eyes with a seriousness that Naruto had never seen on him before.

Naruto felt as though his stomach had turned to ice. How the hell did Konohamaru know this? And even worse, if even Konohamaru knew, who else knew?

This was bad. Very bad.

The jovial cheer vanished from Naruto’s face, replaced with grave determination.

“We need to talk,” said Naruto.

“Yes. We do,” Konohamaru answered, scanning the periphery. He looked up at the tall buildings around them.

The children were already at Naruto’s feet again, begging to be played with.

“I’m sorry kids,” Naruto said, using all of his strength to put on a hollow smile. “We’ll have to play some other day.”

Of course, he knew that this was impossible. Accordingly, he ruffled their hair and issued a few hugs. He was sad to be leaving them, but there were more urgent matters at hand.

Konohamaru and he made their way over to an unmanned stall, both knowing that the merchant never worked on Saturdays. They took a seat.

“How do you know th-” Naruto began.

“They know,” Konohamaru interrupted.

It confirmed his worst fears. The security of their operation had been compromised. Naruto’s eyes widened. The weight of the news combined with the oppressive heat made him dizzy.

“I heard my aunt’s brother tell her while I was home. Somehow they heard that you’re going east tomorrow morning. They believe you will take the road by the riverbed.”

Naruto couldn’t think of what to say. The militants were right. Not only did they know that they were leaving, but they also knew the very road they would take and when they’d take it.

“I went along that road yesterday. I saw them. They put down…”

Konohamaru seemed to be searching for the appropriate English words, gesturing with his hands. He didn’t need to.

“Bombs,” Naruto said, his voice detached. “They planted bombs.”

Konohamaru nodded, frowning. It felt unreal to Naruto. He had yet to see bloodshed. Yet his unit was poised to walk out into their deaths tomorrow. What if Konohamaru hadn’t told Naruto?

Tomorrow could have been the last day of his life. It was a fate that his unit had just now narrowly dodged.

“They wanted me to help. They will wait until the bombs start, and then they will open fire. They will try to kill you all!”

It was a common enough guerrilla tactic. Taliban militants would place Improvised Explosive Devices, as the other Marines called them, on the roads when they knew that a unit was moving. IEDs were home-brewed bombs, packed with anything from cut metal to steel ball bearings. This was one of the many reasons why keeping these moves confidential was so important.

The bombs would blow people limb from limb. Then, Taliban forces would camouflage themselves and open fire during the chaos. They’d pick off person after person.

The most action that Naruto had encountered thus far was hearing gunshots in the distance. If not for Konohamaru, they could have all been slaughtered tomorrow. He had known from the beginning that there was a chance that he’d never return, but never had he so rawly faced his own mortality.

“Where did they plant the bombs?”

Naruto kept his voice calm, not wanting to make Konohamaru any more upset than he already was.

“It starts about a kilometer away from town on that road and goes on for a while. There are so many of them!”

Naruto nodded. He could hardly believe that he was having this conversation, with a child no less. It felt unreal.

“Do you know how they found out about this?”

“They got the information from someone in our army...” Konohamaru began. “They betrayed you.”

Konohamaru was referencing the Afghan National Army. They’d allied with the United States in this war, though it was a tense and complicated relationship. Naruto hated the way that some of his colleagues treated and talked about ANA troops. While ANA was, for the most part, reliable, there were stories of betrayal. It wasn’t rare that families were split between ANA troops and Taliban militants. Thus, they restricted sensitive information to only a few ANA members.

Konohamaru was looking down at the ground, fiddling with his fingers and frowning. The children Naruto played with laughed just as the children would back home. They colored, liked playing helicopter, and played tag. Yet at times like these, Naruto was reminded of a stark difference. Someone had asked Konohamaru to place bombs on a road just yesterday. What else had Konohamaru seen? What was it be like to be raised in a war zone?

Naruto placed his hand on Konohamaru’s shoulder, mustering every bit of strength in him to show a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, Konohamaru. It’ll be okay.”

Konohamaru didn’t look even the slightest bit relieved.

“Thanks to you, we can avoid it now.”

Naruto kept it vague, telling Konohamaru as little as he could. It was for Konohamaru’s own good. The boy nodded slowly.

“Please, put everything I told you to use. They have already hurt the people of this village. I don’t want them to hurt you and your friends too.”

Naruto smiled, leaning down and hugging Konohamaru. His small body was shaking.

“Thank you, Konohamaru. You’re so brave. You just saved so many lives.”

As Naruto spoke, Konohamaru looked back up at him hesitantly.

“You’re a real hero, Konohamaru,” Naruto grinned.

“Captain America?” Konohamaru answered, uncertainly looking into Naruto’s eyes.

“Yeah,” Naruto grinned. “Captain America.”


	25. The Truth About God

Sasuke felt the slightest amount of soreness between his fingers as he grasped his irons, the machine vibrating as he left dark indigo strokes on a woman’s arm. He’d lost count of how many customers he’d lined up today.

He came down with a fever two weeks ago. He beat it in a week’s time. He was physically up to speed, but now he had to squeeze in all the people he’d cancelled on. He found a part of him missing the days when half of his business consisted of walk-ins. He didn’t have so much catch-up work to do if he had to miss a few days.

Seven years ago, he would’ve been ecstatic to be so busy. Sasuke hadn’t lost sleep over money in years. For Sasuke’s entire early life, he felt a looming threat of homelessness. His family never had enough to pay the bills, and they just barely dodged the street by staying in his aunt’s garage. Now, he lived in a loft in downtown Manhattan and paid his rent in full the second of every month, never a day late. Still, after long days like this, feeling grateful could be challenging.

Sasuke’s phone vibrated, the device sitting beside him on his station. He always kept it close by. One look at the familiar area code on the call ID told him that this came to him from the other side of the country. Tsunade. This sort of thing was becoming increasingly common.

“Just a second,” Sasuke said, reaching over to his phone.

Sure enough, there was a new text.

“River City. 6 pm PST.”

Sasuke glanced down at the screen, taking a deep swallow. It was the second time that this had happened. Sasuke hoped that it would be as uneventful as the first one. After all, Naruto had hinted that they might _possibly_ be moving some time in the nearish future. He knew that Naruto was giving Sasuke all the details he could safely give him.

“I’m going to grab myself a glass of water,” Sasuke said. “Would you like one too?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” his customer answered.

Sasuke needed a few minutes to compose himself and focus. While Sasuke had reason to suspect that this was planned, he could never be sure. Juugo was sitting at the front desk reading. He glanced over at Sasuke, who had filled a couple of glasses at the water cooler by the empty waiting room.

Sasuke leaned against the wall, breathing in deeply and exhaling with his eyes closed.

“Hey…” Juugo said, looking up from his magazine. “Are you alright, Sasuke?”

It took Sasuke a moment to register Juugo’s words. He took a small sip of water. It helped.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“You sure?” Juugo asked, looking over at him gently.

No, he really was not. Though he was sure he’d be fine enough given a few minutes. Thankfully, Juugo was the only person who could see him.

Sasuke shrugged.

“River City’s on.”

Juugo’s jaw dropped slightly, his brows knit.

“I just need a couple minutes to shake it off.”

“Of course,” Juugo answered, the concern in his tone obvious.

Where was Naruto? It was just pass sunrise there. Maybe his unit had set out to move first thing in the morning, and Naruto was putting his duffel together for the ride. He so rawly longed to hear Naruto’s voice.

Sasuke looked away from Juugo now, closing his eyes and clearing his mind of anxiety. There was nothing that he could do about this. He took a series of deep breaths, counting each inhale and exhale. Keeping cool in high stress situations had always come naturally to Sasuke. He’d been through much worse than this.

He opened his eyes, feeling his mind clear. He checked his watch; he’d taken a total of two minutes. He returned to the customer, shoving this to the back of his mind for the time being. What other choice did he have? He had no doubts that these thoughts would find him at night.

His feelings toward Naruto… He’d had time to think after the conversation he’d had with Shikamaru several months ago. He watched his own behaviors and analyzed both his mind’s and his body’s responses to anything having to do with Naruto. He had no words for the way he would feel when he played Naruto’s guitar. He lost himself in it, just as he did with the piano, and the familiar sound made it feel as though he weren’t alone. He could almost smell him. Even without Naruto there with him, Sasuke was learning quickly, but hell if he didn’t long for his presence.

And then he knew that Shikamaru was right. There was so much he wished to say to Naruto, yet the words stuck in his throat. He hadn’t mentioned it in his letter. He wanted Naruto to hear the sincerity in his voice, so he wouldn’t question it during times of insecurity. He knew that Naruto would cherish it, but this wasn’t as easily achieved as he had hoped. He was every bit as clumsy in these regards as he feared he would be.

Yet when things like this happened, Sasuke was reminded that he might not have time to wait. Thinking about losing Naruto made him feel nauseous and dizzy. This vulnerability was the price of finding something that made him happy. As uneasy as that made him, he had no regrets.

* * *

Naruto sprinted through the desert as soon as he left town, the heat rendering his mouth dry as sweat dripped down his face. The arid desert stripped hydration from him, and in any normal state of mind, he’d be bending over his knees panting. He was fueled by adrenaline, unable to think of anything other than accomplishing his mission. He wouldn’t rest until he delivered the news to Jiraiya personally.

It took Naruto some finesse to get himself in Jiraiya’s office, to put it kindly. Some expletives were flung at him in the process, but it was difficult to turn a man down when they had an urgent resolve like Naruto’s.

Jiraiya was sitting at his desk, drinking a glass of beer as he went through a stack of papers.

“Sir,” Naruto announced himself.

“Naruto?” Jiraiya said, perking a brow. “What brings you here?”

Jiraiya’s body rested in his chair, his brow just slightly arched as he studied Naruto with fingers steepled together.

“Our operation has been compromised.”

Jiraiya almost immediately lowered his hands to the desk, setting down his palms neatly.

“Explain.”

Naruto continued with grim determination.

“They know we’re taking the eastward road tomorrow. They’ve planted IEDs on the road, starting about a kilometer out of town.”

Jiraiya’s eyes widened.

“My god…” Jiraiya replied, frowning sharply as he stared down at the papers on his deck. “How do you know that, son?”

“A local boy told me. He said that an ANA troop spilled the details.”

“Who?”

Jiraiya was carefully watching Naruto. Naruto didn’t want to admit that he didn’t ask. It had been for Konohamaru’s safety.

“I don’t know, sir.”

“Goddammit…” Jiraiya sighed, shaking his heads. “Fucking hajis…”

Naruto stood in front of Jiraiya, retaining his perfect posture. Jiraiya was deployed at the beginning of the war; he could’ve lost friends to the enemy. Despite the situation at hand, he hated hearing someone speak this way.

“Alright, you can go, son. On the behalf of everyone in this unit, thank you for telling me this.”

“Sir…” Naruto paused. “May I stand guard tomorrow morning?”

Naruto wanted to see how this unfolded. He felt as though this were a much more personal matter, and he owed it to Konohamaru to personally ensure that everyone was kept safe. He doubted he would be able to speak with Konohamaru for a long time.

“Of course.”

Naruto had only left Jiraiya’s office an hour ago when the new plans were announced at dinner. They would not leave. Everyone would keep to the barracks tomorrow, and the unit would be at full alert until otherwise notified. The communications freeze would continue until further notice.

A somber air resided as Lee, Neji, Tenten, and Naruto ate their supper. Neji glanced at Naruto for a moment.

“What?” Naruto asked.

“People saw you going into Jiraiya’s office.”

It was strange for a low-ranking troop like Naruto to meet directly with a colonel, and Naruto had caused quite the stir.

“They’re saying that you provided the intel.”

Naruto shrugged, a weary smile on his face.

“Konohamaru told me,” Naruto said quietly to Neji, Tenten, and Lee. “Keep that to yourselves.”

The three of them stopped eating for a moment, eyes widened.

“Wow…” Tenten answered. “Who would’ve thought that scrawny little kid would save us?”

The lot of them began eating again.

“Too close for comfort,” Neji grunted.

“It’ll be okay now,” Naruto told them with a grin. “Our guard’s up. We just have to tend to this situation before we can move.”

“Naruto, you’ve indirectly saved our lives,” Lee said with a warm smile.

“Nah…” Naruto replied. “That was Konohamaru’s doing. All I had to do was send the info up the chain.”

“Take some credit at least,” Neji added.

“It never hurts to be nice to people, I guess,” Naruto shrugged.

Tenten sighed as she leaned her face against the heel of her hand.

“Why do you have to be taken? And Sasuke, oh my God…”

Naruto had showed Neji and Tenten some of Sasuke’s pictures. Tenten’s reaction had been priceless.

“Why are the good ones always gay?” she lamented.

Lee looked a little hurt by the comment.

“Sasuke and I are bi,” Naruto corrected.

“And taken,” Tenten followed up.

“Don’t worry, Tenten. I’m sure you’ll find someone easily once we get back.”

Naruto couldn’t help but notice both Lee’s and Neji’s gazes fall on Tenten, who seemed entirely oblivious

“Yeeah, yeah. I miss dating,” she sighed.

“Is there…” Lee began. “Isn’t there anyone you like here?”

Tenten stopped to consider.

“A few,” she evaded. “I just hadn’t thought of dating someone from the unit. It seems like a bad idea.”

Naruto’s couldn’t miss the look of resignation on Lee’s and Neji’s faces. Even as Tenten’s friend, Naruto had to admit that she was quite the catch. He couldn’t blame Lee and Neji for hoping.

Soon enough, their scheduled time for dinner came to a close. A group of about seven spotted Naruto in the crowd.

“Hey,” one of the men yelled. “Is it true that you’re the one who saved our asses with this intel?”

Naruto chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. Of course, the man’s comment only caught more attention.

“Ah, one of the villagers told me about it. It was a no brainer to share it.”

For Konohamaru’s protection, he’d be as vague as possible.

“I don’t care how it happened…” pitched in a pale man with a red buzzcut. “Because of you, we’re not walkin out into a fuckin’ active minefield tomorrow. I’m gonna go back to my wife and little girl.”

He saw at least a dozen people around them nod in agreement.

“It’s really nothing. The villager is the one who deserves the credit.”

“Dude must have balls the size of a stallion’s,” another man interjected.

Naruto tried not to laugh. If only they knew that it had been none other than that twelve-year-old kid who tried to sell them Gatorade every time they went to the market.

“Well, however you figured it out,” a thin-lipped woman added. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Naruto replied with a beaming grin.

Throughout the night, as he went to his bunk, brushed his teeth, and walked the halls, he’d receive a nod and a “hello” from literally everyone he passed. News hadn’t taken long to spread.

Naruto had only done what anyone else would in that situation, though it was true that he was the only one to befriend a villager to this extent. Still, that was just basic compassion. Yet it would’ve been a lie to say that Naruto wasn’t cheered up by all of the encouragement.

He didn’t know what awaited him the next day. Security had been heightened, and they were heavily barricaded. It would have been insanity for the militants to attack them at this time. They’d waited months, perhaps even years to land this perfect opportunity to take out an entire unit. Now that their guard was up, launching an attack would be suicide.

Naruto expected that they’d stay long enough to neutralize the threat, as it was now unsafe for them to move. They were most vulnerable when they traveled, unable to hide behind barricaded walls and strategically placed snipers. Tanks and ammunition could only take them so far. The enemy was far more familiar with the terrain and knew how to hide.

He exhaled and closed his eyes, trying to free his mind of anxiety. He remembered spending the night at Sasuke’s house, the night before he left for Afghanistan. They lay in bed together, sharing an intimacy that carried no obligation for lust. Even with the blistering heat of an Afghan summer, the nights were cool.

He tried to imagine the scent of Sasuke’s room, Sasuke’s warm and freshly showered body pressed against him. These lonely nights stretched on, but at least he knew Sasuke longed for him as well. He felt less foolish this way.

He allowed that comfort to whisk him to sleep.

* * *

It was four in the morning. It would be at least an hour until the adhan announced the rising sun. It was still pitch black as Naruto readied himself for his shift; if not for his alarm, he wouldn’t have known the morning was approaching. Neji had agreed to stand guard with him.

Naruto was ready in a matter of minutes, his appearance impeccable as always. He met Neji out by the turret.

Naruto yawned, “This might be an interesting day.”

“We’ll see,” Neji shrugged. “I doubt they’ll try anything. It won’t take them long to figure out that their plans were leaked.”

They could see the wind-swept desert only twenty meters out, limited by the lighting of their barracks. Should Naruto have been beyond that light, he wouldn’t have been able to see his hand in front of his face.

“So like… What is it with you and Tenten?” Naruto asked, walking up to the edge of the turret overlooking the desert.

Neji flinched.

“What are you talking about?”

Naruto chuckled, looking behind him.

“C’mon. Don’t think I missed that look on your face when Tenten said she wasn’t gonna date over here.”

Neji groaned. Naruto heard a dog bark and growl, just barely outside of the lights. Then another one. Odd. Usually they didn’t come this close.

“You hear that?” Naruto asked.

“Yeah,” Neji nodded.

“Keep your eyes open. It’s probably just the dogs fighting, but it could be…”

Naruto didn’t have to say anything more for Neji to understand him. A human might’ve disturbed them. For now, the best thing to do would be to wait and watch. It would be dangerous to descend from their perch and walk out into the dark, and soon enough the sun would be rising.

“Anyhow, don’t think I forgot. What’s your deal with Tenten?”

“What do you mean, my deal?” Neji replied with a cluck of his tongue.

“I’m not an idiot, Neji.”

“Really?” Neji asked, arching a brow.

With every minute, the sun approached the horizon. The dogs continued to bark and growl throughout the night. Twilight was born, and Naruto squinted his eyes in the direction of the dogs. Finally!

“Look!” Naruto said to Neji, pointing over to them as he was yet again distracted. “They’re just fighting over some food!”

Naruto could hardly make them out, but clearly they were biting and tugging on something. He couldn’t make out any color in the darkness, but he could somewhat discern the shape. Maybe it had been a small deer or a fox. Naruto couldn’t help but pout at the thought. Yes, it was just how the animal world operated, but he loved foxes!

“I see ‘em,” Neji answered, sounding relieved.

Naruto smiled, leaning back and adjusting.

“Man, what a wild twenty-four hours, huh?” Naruto asked. “No wonder we’re so jumpy.”

Neji sighed.

“I wouldn’t call this action. We’ve been lucky that things have been so uneventful until now.”

Naruto nodded. They’d seen hardly any violence up until this point, and never had Naruto felt as though his life were in danger.

“Yeah, really…”

The sun began to peak over the horizon. Naruto heard the adhan echo from the mosque’s loudspeakers, even from this far away. It prompted him to give another curious look over to the dogs. They were really all there was to look at in this vacant desert, a welcome gust of wind disrupting the dunes.

Naruto reviewed the area with squinted eyes, and his heart jumped into this throat. It was still dim, but Naruto could’ve sworn he saw what looked like some sort of fabric on the meat the dogs tore at. Naruto stood abruptly.

“What?” Neji asked.

Naruto stared, his throat tightening as he squinted. He saw bits of green, white… Cloth. Torn cloth.

Naruto broke away and sprinted toward the turret stairs.

“Naruto!” Neji yelled out. “What the hell are you doing?!”

Naruto refused to answer, pounding down the stairs two at a time. The sound of his feet on each step echoed throughout the turret, but the only thing Naruto heard was the faint squeaking sound of his teeth clenching together.

“Naruto!” Neji shouted.

Naruto could outrun most anyone in the unit. If he had any room in his consciousness at the moment, he would have been grateful for this. But there was only room for adrenaline-fueled dread that caused each muscle to fire as if driven by electricity.

Naruto didn’t care if it was a trap. So what if people were waiting out there for him? The thought in his head was so warped and twisted that he felt ashamed for even thinking it. No, they couldn’t… He couldn’t stand this thought for another second, with each long stride hoping to banish it from his mind.

He now reached the outside of the base, running off into the desert as the sun peeked over the sand. As he ran up to the fighting dogs, tears streamed down his cheeks.

No. It couldn’t be.

He stood just several meters before them. There was no mistaking those green pants and head full of spiky brown hair. One arm had been picked clean, the bare radius and ulna jutting out through the flesh in the sunlight. But one hand still remained. Tied tightly to it with barbed wire was none other than a Captain America figurine.

Naruto could’ve sworn that he heard something break within himself. It came on heavy, as if his body had been thrown into ice water. Naruto could do nothing but stare as the dogs picked at Konohamaru’s body.

He felt tears fall without remembering having cried them, only hearing the ringing in his ears. He dropped to his knees, his hands connecting with the sand as he fought not to vomit. Without seeing that figurine, Naruto wouldn’t have been able to identify Konohamaru. The dogs, and who knew what or who else, had done too much damage.

Naruto shouted out into the desert with all the force his lungs could muster, wailing as he pounded his fists into the sand. He felt so utterly powerless.

“ _No!_ ” Naruto shouted. “Why?!”

If only it had been him instead.

Naruto flinched as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, turning around to find Neji. Neji stared at the ground, looking up just slightly to catch Naruto’s unfocused gaze.

“Why?” Naruto asked again, his eyes too filled with tears to see Neji’s face. “Why him? He’s…”

Naruto sniffed, trying to stifle his sobbing so that he could speak.

“He was just a child! Why?”

Naruto had heard war stories of cruelty before. But to see the gruesome aftermath so clearly in front of him felt unbelievable. How could an evil like this exist in the hearts of mankind? What kind of god would allow this? He had been naive.

Treason meant death, even if the perpetrator was a child. They had planted him in front of the base as if to convey a message: “This is your fault.” If Naruto hadn’t said anything… Then would Konohamaru still be alive?

“Who…” Naruto clutched his chest. “What kind of monster could do something like this?!”

Naruto’s voice broke as he yelled. He didn’t bother to stop sobbing. There would be no point. It was as if the pain fell from him in waves, always with more than enough left to replace it. His breathing was shallow and fast.

“I…” Neji began, his voice quivering. “I don’t know.”

Naruto’s breath came and went quickly, and he felt himself wheeze and hyperventilate. He grabbed at the sand so hard that the grains were forced between his fingers. He felt dizzy, bright spots working their way into his vision. And his eyes moved over to Konohamaru yet again.

Naruto rested his face in his hands and wept like a child until the sun rose on that godforsaken desert.

* * *

Miraculously, Sasuke had already snagged an hour of sleep by the very normal hour of eleven at night. His cell phone woke him instantly, the ringer at full blast.

“Hello?” Sasuke answered, his voice a little bleary with sleep.

“Hi,” Naruto said in a stilted tone.

Shit! How had Tsunade’s text not woken him up? He must’ve been sleeping like a brick.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said, his smile drenching his voice. “I guess River City’s over now.”

“Heh, yeah…” Naruto said with a cheer that didn’t fool Sasuke for an instant. “It sure is.”

Sasuke sucked at his lip piercing, waiting for a few seconds before continuing.

“Naruto, what happened?”

He turned and flicked the light on his bedstand as he spoke with Naruto. The warm yellowish glow staved off his grogginess.

“Oh, it was just…” Naruto started. “It was just a move. We didn’t move in the end though, so… Guess it was for nothing.”

Something in Naruto’s voice sounded so hollow to him. He knew Naruto. He’d never heard him speak with this voice before. It gave him goosebumps.

“Hey, are you okay?” Sasuke asked, allowing his concern to make its way into his tone.

Something was clearly wrong, and he felt a bubbling anxiety in his gut.

“Oh… Why would I not be?” Naruto answered, adding an awkward “heh” at the end.

“You’re a shitty liar.”

Silence.

“Do you have privacy right now?”

Was that was the reason for Naruto’s forced composure? He knew that Naruto wouldn’t want to express vulnerability in front of his piers.

“Yeah…” Naruto said.

“Hey, Naruto…” Sasuke said in his most soothing tone of voice. “It’s been a tough day, hasn’t it?”

A few seconds of silence. A stutter…

Then the sound of Naruto’s sobbing exploded from the receiver, its sudden loudness causing Sasuke to flinch. Sasuke’s jaw hung agape as he listened to Naruto weep, having no idea what to say. His chest tightened, and subconsciously Sasuke put his hand on his hammering heart.

“Naruto…” Sasuke muttered. “Naruto, I’m here with you now.”

What the hell had happened to make Naruto cry like this? Was he hurt?

Naruto continued to cry, and the sound hit Sasuke like an ice pick through his chest. He’d never once heard Naruto cry since he’d left, but now he seemed to wail with almost everything in him. Sasuke had never considered himself the empathetic sort, but he felt this pain as if it were his own. He restrained the urge to press Naruto for more details.

“Ssshh,” Sasuke murmured.

The feeling of his own heart beating was almost painful. Naruto was beginning to breathe more deeply, the crying from his side of the line dying down.

“Naru, what’s wrong?”

“It’s…” Naruto began, his voice quivering. A few seconds lapsed as Naruto composed himself. “First of all, I’m not hurt, nor is anyone else in the unit.”

Physically, perhaps not. But Sasuke knew that there was much more to it than that.

“Good,” Sasuke replied, feeling his heart calm. The pain did not abate.

“We were going to move this morning, our plans slipped out to the enemy. They’d laid down bombs along the road.”

Sasuke’s mouth hung open slightly as he sat dead still. He assumed that they had avoided this, given the fact that none of them were injured. But how close had Naruto come to walking out into an active minefield? How close had he come to losing Naruto? Words forsook him.

“But Konohamaru told me about it, so I was able to warn my unit in time. He…” Naruto’s voice broke for a second. “He saved our lives.”

Naruto had been reminded of his mortality, of the chance that he might never come home. Was this what had caused him to be so upset? Naruto usually sounded so carefree when they spoke. Maybe the severity of his situation hadn’t hit home yet.

“Thank god,” Sasuke finally spoke. “I wish I could thank the kid myself.”

He’d heard so much about Konohamaru from Naruto. His voice always sounded so bright as he discussed the villagers, especially the children. Yet Naruto emitted a quiet and bitter laugh. It didn’t sound like Naruto.

“There is no thanking him, Sasuke. He’s…”

Naruto’s composure failed him at that last word.

“He’s dead.”

_Dead?_

The injustice took the air out of Sasuke’s lungs. Yes, war was cruel. But he was just a child!

“How…”

“They killed him and left his body out by the barracks. By the time I found him, the dogs… The dogs had picked most of the meat from his bones.”

Naruto had something special in him. Something light and pure, and he believed that this was one of the reasons why he was so good with kids and animals. He’d expressed such genuine compassion for Konohamaru and all of the other children in the village.

“Oh my god…”

For the time being, it was all Sasuke could think to say. He heard Naruto emit a painful, defeated sigh.

“Naruto…” Sasuke searched for words. What could he possibly say to this? That everything would be okay? “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry…” Naruto replied, that bitter laugh in his voice again. “I don’t deserve sympathy. You know, if I’d kept my mouth shut…”

Naruto’s voice choked, and Sasuke patiently waited for him to find his voice again.

“It’s because of me that a child was killed, Sasuke.”

“No…” Sasuke answered. “No, you can’t blame yourself for this, Naru. This was not your fault.”

“Wasn’t it?” Naruto asked, his voice breaking. “That certainly wasn’t the message I heard when they left a dead kid at my doorstep. He’s dead because I talked.”

“Your unit is _alive_ because you talked,” Sasuke replied, finding more confidence in his voice. “What else were you supposed to do? Let all of your friends walk to their deaths? That would’ve been madness!”

“We should’ve been less obvious” Naruto answered, his voice aggravated. “I should’ve made sure he was safe!”

“How were you to know?” Sasuke answered quickly. “No one in your situation would’ve seen that coming.”

“But…”

Sasuke understood this, so well. He also knew that sometimes it didn’t matter how many times you were reassured that it wasn’t your fault. The heart is stubborn.

“Listen, Naruto. It’s human nature to find regret and guilt in death, especially one so unnatural. But I’m sure that Konohamaru knew the risks. He took this risk because he wanted you to act on the information he gave you! He made his decision, and he left this world a hero.”

Naruto sighed, and it sounded like he was beginning to calm down. God, how he wished that he could’ve been there to hold him.

“You know, when I saw him…” Naruto began in a very tired tone of voice. “It felt like something inside of me broke in a way that will never mend. I could almost hear it.”

Sasuke’s throat felt tight as he swallowed. He had felt this way before. With the sound of a bullet, something in Sasuke broke that day; he felt it down to the marrow of his bones, leaving no room for doubt. And god, there had been so much blood.

He wished that he could tell Naruto that he was wrong, that he would eventually heal and return to the person he once was. But Sasuke was not one to disregard the truth for comforting lies. What Sasuke heard in Naruto’s voice was the loss of innocence.

“You were right.”

“Hm?”

“God really is cruel,” Naruto said grimly.

Sasuke believed this after seeing the things he’d seen. No, he _knew_ this. God was unjust, and God was cruel.

This was what Sasuke had feared. He didn’t want Naruto to become like him. He didn’t want him to feel the pain that Sasuke knew so well. He didn’t want his light to be tainted.

“Yeah…” Sasuke replied. “It’s a fucked up world. But you’ll always have me, Naru. I swear it.”

He wished he could’ve been there in person. He’d kiss him, pet him, hold him as he cried every last tear.

“What if…” Naruto began. “What if you don’t like the person I’ve become by the time this is over?”

Sasuke had felt this brimming anxiety himself, so heavily. He knew this fear. In his case, it was the fear that Naruto would find him heartless once he knew Sasuke’s true character. He feared that once Naruto truly knew him, he could never love him. But Naruto reassured him each passing day that his love knew no bounds.

“There's no going back to who you were before,” Sasuke began. “But no matter how you change, it won’t change the way I feel about you.”

Now there was a pure silence over the line.

“Naruto, I love you.”

He heard Naruto sniffling over the line. Had he just made Naruto cry?

“I didn’t mean to upset-”

“I love you too, Sasu,” Naruto interrupted. “God, I love you so much. I miss you every single day. I just… Fuck, I just want to go home.”

The weight of Naruto’s sorrow and desperation broke his heart. He wished that he could just hold him, love him…

“I miss you too, love. When you come home, I’ll meet you at the airport. I’ll hold you nice and tight. I’ll cook you steak for dinner.”

“Mn…” Naruto purred.

Sasuke was so glad to hear that comfort in Naruto’s voice.

“Bet you’re missing that right now.”

A weak laugh came from Naruto, but this time it wasn’t bitter.

“I sure am. They don’t cook for shit here.”

Sasuke sighed, “I knew it was all a ploy.”

“What can I say?” Naruto said, humor working its way into his unsteady voice. “I like to eat.”

“Trust me. I know.”

Naruto gave the slightest chuckle before pausing.

“Sasuke…”

“Hm?”

“What would you think about becoming my first of kin?”

Sasuke skipped a beat, his brow twitching at the surprise. This would mean that he would be the first to receive any news regarding Naruto, coming directly from the FRO.

“I’d like that,” Sasuke responded reflexively.

Sasuke was pretty sure he’d annoyed Tsunade a couple times with how much he liked to check in on Naruto. Not that he cared.

“Okay,” Naruto answered, and Sasuke could hear a hint of joy in his voice. “I’ll let them know.”

Sasuke found a smile on his face. Hearing even the slightest happiness from Naruto warmed him. The man had gone through so much today.

“Remember to eat and drink, even if you don’t feel like it now. I don’t want you fainting on the battlefield.”

He knew what something like this could do to one’s appetite, but Naruto needed all the strength he could get. War was unsympathetic to one’s struggles.

“You’ll never let me live that down, will you?”

“Not likely.”

Again, the line went silent.

“You’re strong. You’ll prevail over this. I know it.”

Sasuke meant it. Naruto was strong.

“Yeah…” Naruto replied. “I know I will. Nemini cedimus, huh?”

Yield to none.

“Exactly, love.”


	26. Lessons in Love

Another River City was called not even two days after Sasuke spoke with Naruto. The days had clearly not been treating Naruto well. The FRO had notified Sasuke with a phone call, and he promptly dispersed the news to Naruto’s loved ones via the e-mail distribution list.

There were so many contacts on the list that he didn’t recognize, not that it was a surprise given the relatively short amount of time Sasuke had known Naruto before he left. On nights when Naruto just needed to talk, he told Sasuke about quite a few of them. Indubitably, they all knew him now.

Kiba almost immediately responded with, “Thanks for letting me know.”

He remembered Kiba enough to know that he wasn’t this polite to everyone. He’d heard tales from Naruto. Sasuke let him repeat the same stories over again, pitching in with subtle sounds of acknowledgment. He wasn’t one to waste his time hearing the same information twice, but it was a small price to pay for the levity in Naruto’s voice when he spoke of his loved ones.

Sasuke didn’t know if Naruto had shared Konohamaru’s death with his friends. Despite knowing the basics of who they were, Sasuke didn’t know how close Naruto was with them. It was an odd sort of power, if not slightly unnerving, delivering such weighty news to people he didn’t even know. He couldn’t help but feel undeserving at times. He answered Kiba with a simple “of course.”

This freeze treated Sasuke more roughly than the others had. During the last River City, Naruto had nearly walked to his death. It was only out of dumb luck that he was spared. Surely, the enemy had been waiting for their perfect opportunity. Now that this chance had lapsed, perhaps they would grow less picky.

Perhaps they would take whatever they could get.

Sasuke tossed and turned throughout the night. He wished so badly to close his eyes and sleep, but whenever he did, he was haunted by visions of Naruto in peril. Visions of him bleeding and dead. He returned to work having slept not a wink.

He’d never had such a difficult time focusing before, torn by both anxiety and the pressing cravings to sleep at the most inconvenient times. He leaned on his coffee like a crutch. Freshening up in front of the mirror over his lunch break, he marveled at the miracles that a little bit of foundation, eye drops, and some hair gel could work.

It wasn’t often that Sasuke had entirely sleepless nights. He usually got at least an hour or two, even if he was only half asleep. He went into the next night fully expecting that his exhaustion would provide at least some relief. Yet he was disappointed yet again. His eyes were almost painfully dry. He felt dizzy as he forced himself out of bed, almost as if he were on some sort of drug.

His heart told him that Naruto was the only thing that mattered, despite his brain’s insistence that he had responsibilities to tend to. He hadn’t slept for forty hours now, and his fingers trembled as he looked down at his hands. Sasuke swore. He was in no state to work. He was sure that some of his customers would be disappointed, but they’d be notably more so with a sloppy tattoo.

The third day without sleep left Sasuke raw. He hadn’t had a wink in the last eighty hours. Words could not express how desperately he craved slumber. Sometimes it felt as though his consciousness slipped from him for minutes on end, all the while his eyes staring out dully and unblinkingly into space. Sasuke had always marveled at how similar severe sleep deprivation could feel to being high.

He could count on one hand the number of times that this had happened to him in his adult life, though it was by no means a rare occurrence throughout his adolescence. He noticed lights flicker in the periphery of his vision, and sometimes it seemed as though the room stretched out beneath his feet. The opposite wall would be sucked out into space like a tunnel. Shadows swept into his main line of sight, causing him to startle as they caught him unprepared.

Sasuke hadn’t missed the hallucinations. He knew that he wasn’t going mad; it was his body’s natural reaction to sleep deprivation. He thought that he’d grown past this point, but he had vulnerabilities now that he didn’t have in the past. He hadn’t heard from Naruto or the FRO since the communications freeze had been placed, and a nagging voice in his mind kept telling Sasuke to expect the worst. After all, it had certainly happened before in his life.

Sasuke had no idea how long this could continue for. He hadn’t left his apartment for the past two days, living off of delivery and salads. Cooking would only vex his nerves. Try as he might, he could think of nothing but Naruto. He remembered the pain that he’d heard in Naruto’s voice. Even if Naruto was physically unscathed, the same could not be said for his spirit. Sasuke knew that Naruto was broken in a way that would never mend, at least not completely. And Sasuke was powerless to prevent that from happening again.

Anger, anxiety, longing, and sadness roared within Sasuke’s body, begging for an outlet. The only thing that gave him peace was strumming at Naruto’s guitar. He had learned quickly, though he wasn’t surprised given his prowess with the piano. Maybe one day he’d tell Naruto that Ally was doing a lot more than just sitting on her stand.

When he played “Sweet Child of Mine,” it reminded him of both Naruto and his mother. She used to sing it in the car, and somehow the song became so soft and gentle in her voice. She’d even sing it with no music, humming it in empty rooms like a lullaby as she cleaned. He missed hearing her voice from the other side of the house, perhaps muddled by the sound of plates clinking together or a vacuum cleaner.

Then Sasuke remembered Naruto strumming his guitar with wild abandon, belting out Hendrix’s Voodoo Chile. He’d never own up to how watching Naruto play made his breath freeze, air perfectly still as it sat in his windpipe. The unique acoustics of this guitar reminded him of Naruto, as did the nod to classic rock. The instant he heard Naruto break out Voodoo Chile’s syncopated riffs, he knew that he would respect Naruto as his equal in the world of music.

Naruto had so well described the appeal music held for Sasuke. When he played his instrument, the good and bad all melted away, leaving only space for his soul and the music. From the moment Naruto said that, Sasuke felt a sense of kinship with him. Without music, Sasuke had no idea whether or not he could have navigated through the trials of his youth. In the words of Bob Marley, “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” He wondered if Naruto knew that quote too.

Yet all the music in the world couldn’t tame Sasuke’s vexed emotions, amplified a dozen fold by sleep deprivation. It took so little to set him off. His unsure hands dropped a bowl as he washed his dishes, causing it to shatter. In his restless energy, Sasuke barely suppressed the urge to punch a hole in his wall. As he sprinted on his treadmill to distract himself, he marveled at how his body could still move despite the extreme fatigue plaguing him.

Sasuke knew from experience that going past the three-day mark could be quite dangerous. The hallucinations would only worsen, and his emotions would become even more erratic as his inhibitions were silenced. His body was destined to collapse at some point, but he felt madness tug at his sleeve. He feared losing his judgment. Sasuke knew that it was just his sleeplessness talking. Sasuke stored a bottle of sleep aids that he kept for this reason specifically.

He paced throughout his apartment, craving the sleep that his mind denied him. He could’ve easily taken enough sleeping aids to knock him out, but he didn’t want to miss the FRO’s call. He knew from experience that the normal dose wouldn’t suffice. Binging on sleep aids would leave him heavy as a rock, almost completely unarousable for periods as long as a day. Sometimes, this is what it took when Sasuke hit one of these bad episodes.

As he couldn’t risk being out of commission, Sasuke realized he had one chance: liquor. He knew he was much more easily roused when he was drunk. Liquor was alright at getting Sasuke to sleep, though not so good at keeping him there. Still, even a few hours would help.

He poured himself a glass of gin and slowly sipped on it as the minutes passed. He moved to the bed, placing his ashtray on his bedside table. Given how rarely he smoked, he generally restricted it to his patio so as not to scent his apartment. With a deep inhale of his cigarette and a steady exhale, he decided that today would be an exception.

He took sips of gin between hits off of his cigarette, ignoring the hallucinations and his dry, gritty eyes. The soft buzz of nicotine reduced the torturous wired energy that kept his eyes open. He finished one glass and put out his cigarette. Then another glass. The next thing he knew, his phone was ringing, and it was dark out.

If Sasuke still hadn’t been the slightest bit drunk, he would’ve had no idea that it was the same night. He noted that the FRO had texted him just minutes ago to announce that communications were on again. Sasuke swiftly grabbed the phone.

“Naruto?” he asked immediately, not waiting for the person on the other end of the line to speak.

“That’s me.”

Thank god. Sasuke let out a deep sigh, his cheeks almost imperceptibly flushed from the alcohol.

“What’s goin’ on? You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Naruto answered. “You’re not drunk, are you?”

Sasuke knew his voice was slurring, if only slightly.

“A little. But I also just woke up.”

He wasn’t as drunk as he’d sounded. The grogginess from being awoken in the middle of slumber after days of sleeplessness was nothing to sneeze at.

“Gotcha…” Naruto replied. “Are you okay?”

Sasuke rubbed at the bridge of his nose, squinting his eyes as he struggled to catch his bearings. He must’ve been in a deep sleep indeed. It was no wonder, given how desperately he’d needed it.

“I’m good. I just needed a ‘lil sleep.”

He clearly wasn’t winning his struggle against this lethargy. The last thing he wanted to do was worry Naruto, especially after everything Naruto had just endured. Naruto would worry over the silliest things, like how his flights went and whether or not he was getting enough rest. It was so like Naruto to focus on Sasuke’s safety despite living in an open warzone. Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek roughly, tasting just the slightest hint of blood before he was satisfied. It helped.

“What’s been going on?” Sasuke asked, coherent now. “Why’d you go off the grid?”

Despite how he struggled to gain his composure, he felt so much better than he had before. His vision was no longer distorted thanks to his rest, and he had Naruto on the phone.

“They’d been waiting for the perfect opportunity,” Naruto said.

Sasuke hadn’t wanted to be right.

“It’s been an onslaught.”

“Jesus…” Sasuke answered. “Are you hurt?”

“No, though I can’t say the same for some of the others in my unit. We lost a couple.”

The weight of those words woke Sasuke up like nothing else could. Naruto’s voice was nothing but level, as if he were simply commenting on the weather. People in Naruto’s unit were dying. What if…

No. He couldn’t let himself think this way. It would only torture him.

“Naruto… Are you…”

“Yeah, I’m fine. We weren’t all that close. Besides, I’ve cried all my tears. Nothing’s left.”

Sasuke searched for words and found none. He was powerless to shield Naruto from the reality of his situation. He wished he could take Naruto’s place.

“At the very least, Neji, Tenten, and Lee are all unharmed.”

Aside from Konohamaru and the other children of the village, those three were the only ones he’d spoken with Sasuke about.

“Good.”

Sasuke wasn’t one to mind silences, but this one stretched far too long. Naruto was adapting to his grim reality, his mind forming all the protections required to keep his sanity intact.

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear your voice.”

“I could say the same thing,” Sasuke murmured.

He could hardly imagine the pain that Naruto was bound to be experiencing. If he could, he’d sell his soul to save Naruto from it.

“How’ve you been sleeping?”

How could Naruto worry about him, even at such a time? Maybe Naruto knew him well enough to pick up on these things.

“You know how that goes. Just had a nice nap though.”

“How’s work been?”

“Uh…” Sasuke began. He wasn’t the quickest on his feet right now. “I took a break for a couple of days.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Naruto asked.

The man had just had two people die on him. The last thing he wanted to do was stress Naruto out with his own measly issues. He chided himself; he was usually so adept at hiding his emotions. As always, Naruto took the things Sasuke thought he knew about himself and turned them upside down.

“I’m fine. I promise.”

Maybe “fine” was a stretch, but he was sure that he’d feel much better now that he’d gotten some sleep. He felt much more in control of his emotions. After the three days he’d been without, even a few hours made a world of difference. At the very least, the hallucinations would stop for the time being. Sasuke had come to regard them as his body’s warning sign, as there was only so long a human could bear without sleep. If he didn’t respond to that message, his judgment could become so compromised that he’d lose control of himself.

“Mn…” Naruto mumbled. “Okay.”

Sasuke knew better than to ask Naruto what he’d been up to.

“Tell me a little about your day,” Naruto said. “I could use the distraction.”

Sasuke would pick out the highlights.

“I got some pho from a new Vietnamese joint by my place.”

“How was it? Was it pho-nomenal?”

Sasuke never thought he’d be so happy to hear one of Naruto’s cheesy puns. As Naruto filled Sasuke in on the damage his unit had taken, Naruto’s tone was so detached that it almost felt like he was talking to another person. It warmed him to hear the familiar Naruto peeking through.

“You could say that.”

He heard a chuckle from Naruto, and it made his heart thud. He felt his muscles relax, only now aware that they’d been so tense to begin with. Naruto’s love warmed him like the sun, lulled him into a peaceful comfort that he never believed he could experience. Naruto’s energy was so pure, and it reminded Sasuke that there really were beautiful things in this ugly world. Things worth fighting for.

This was the part of Naruto that Sasuke would do almost anything to protect.

“And I need a haircut,” Sasuke added.

Sasuke wasn’t one to be the active force in conversations, especially ones so trivial. But there were times Naruto wanted to talk and times he wanted to listen, to escape his reality through Sasuke. Sasuke had learned to guide him.

“Yeah?” Naruto asked. “Doin’ anything fun?”

Sasuke still hadn’t gotten over how quickly Naruto’s demeanor would change as he focused on his civilian life.

“Keeping the red streaks and growing the bangs out. Nothing too different.”

“Oh, I forgot to tell ya! I love red on you! It really suits you.”

The slightest smile formed on Sasuke’s face. He was glad he’d sent Naruto those pictures.

“My favorite colors are purple and blue, but thought it’d be a nice change of pace.”

“Maaaan,” Naruto sighed. “I’m so jealous of you. I have to keep my hair so short. I can’t even wear earrings.”

Now he remembered Naruto’s spontaneous idea to get his ears pierced during their first date. The first time he kissed Naruto was more thrilling than he ever would’ve guessed, given the things he’d done in the past. It had been so confusing to him at the time, but it all made sense now.

“What a life…” Sasuke groused.

“You’ll have to send more pictures after you get it cut. Damn, half the reason I want to go home so fast is to snatch you before anyone else grabs you.”

Naruto chuckled as he finished that sentiment, but Sasuke knew that he wasn’t completely joking.

“You know…” Naruto said quietly. “I wouldn’t blame you. We only dated for a few weeks before I left. Asking you to commit the whole time I’m gone, to wait for years when you don’t even know if I’ll come back… That would be a lot for anyone.”

The corners of Sasuke’s lips sunk. He didn’t want to think about Naruto not coming back. There wasn’t much that he could do for Naruto, but at the very least he could ease this doubt in his mind.

“Naruto…”

“Mn?”

“I wanted to tell you…” Sasuke began. “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

“Huh?” Naruto asked, clearly perplexed.

Sasuke didn’t exactly know what to say here.

“I want to enter into an exclusive relationship with you.”

Naruto paused, and then guffawed. It was a warm, knee-slapping laughter that Sasuke missed hearing in person. Sasuke huffed at Naruto’s reaction, rolling his eyes.

“That’s gotta be the most unromantic way you could’ve put that. It suits you.”

Sasuke smirked, and if he didn’t know any better, he heard Naruto sniff. Several more proceeded, followed by a hiccup.

“Naruto, are you crying?”

“Shut up,” Naruto answered, laughter in his voice.

Sasuke couldn’t help but smile, knowing that these were tears of joy. Naruto didn’t cry on the battlefield, but he cried now. It was such an abrupt disconnect.

“How’d you figure it out? What changed your mind?”

Sasuke paused for a moment. It was a pointed question. In any other circumstance, he would’ve told Naruto the truth without hesitation. However, given everything that had happened to him over the past several days, he hated to burden Naruto further. Still, he wouldn’t lie.

“I…”

“Hm?”

Sasuke bit his lip.

“I wasn’t hesitating all this time because I thought that I didn’t care for you enough. You know that, right?”

Naruto seemed to hesitate for a bit.

“Hm, if you say so. But if you and another person both love each other a lot, why wouldn’t you just become an item?”

The way Naruto said it made it sound so simple. It was the way most of society thought about romantic love, a formula almost everyone followed. A committed, monogamous relationship was viewed as the ultimate sign of love, with any other arrangement seen as a weaker form. Amatonormativity was an ever-present force in society. Accordingly, it was difficult for most people to understand him, but Sasuke never cared enough about their opinions to explain.

“There are some people out there who just don’t do well with monogamous relationships. An exclusive relationship isn’t the only superlative form of love.”

“And you thought you were one of them?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke shrugged, despite the fact that Naruto couldn’t see him. He wanted Naruto to understand him, so he chose his words carefully. This sobered him up like not much else could.

“I wasn’t sure, but it seemed like it. It’s rare to never have been in a real romantic relationship at my age. Yet I slept with people without feeling even the slightest hint of emotional attachment. I’d come to think that my heart and my sex drive wouldn’t ever be linked.”

Sasuke paused for a moment. When Naruto said nothing, he continued.

“I met some people through the scene who are like that. Some people are in sexually open relationships but practice what’s called emotional fidelity. They truly love each other, more than what I’ve seen in most traditional relationships.”

Sasuke was trying not to drown Naruto in words. He’d seen enough to understand that these things could work. He’d also seen enough to understand that some people are wired in a certain way, and trying to force themselves into society’s roles only caused issues.

“What…” Naruto answered. “Uh, what does all that mean?”

Sasuke wondered if he was throwing too much at Naruto at once.

“Emotional fidelity?” Sasuke asked.

“Yeah.”

“It’s the concept that a partner’s emotional intimacy and love should be committed to one person without being committed sexually.”

Sasuke knew that this could work in some situations, but it was not for everyone. Both parties had to be comfortable with this sort of relationship, and Sasuke didn’t believe that Naruto could ever thrive in one.

“I… I think I can understand that,” Naruto answered slowly. “It’s just so different from how I operate.”

“Same here, ends up,” Sasuke mumbled.

He knew this for a fact now. He’d never have to doubt it again.

“There’s more than one way to do things. I’ve seen it work, even with married couples. They hide it from the world, because people don’t understand. It was about how they’re wired, not how much they care about the person.”

He heard Naruto sigh.

“Man, I’m glad that’s not you. I get the concept, but…”

Sasuke knew what he was about to say.

“Yeah. Just like some people aren’t wired for monogamy, many people need both emotional and sexual commitment.”

This conversation was going better than he’d anticipated. Naruto didn’t fully understand, but at least he was trying. Sasuke had always found Naruto to be open-minded.

“I can’t even imagine not being ‘wired’ for monogamy,” Naruto answered.

Most people couldn’t, Sasuke found. He wasn’t sure whether this was driven more by human nature or amatonormativity. After all, humans carried the biological imprint of polygamy. Most early human societies were indeed polygamous, and it was even now still widely accepted in some cultures.

“And just like that, I couldn’t imagine being wired for relationships. I’d gone my life without even the ghost of a desire for one, so I just assumed. Then you came along.”

Naruto’s pauses didn’t make him as uncomfortable now.

“So, how did you figure all of this out?”

That question had circled around again. Sasuke bit his lip.

“The only way for me to know for sure was to test it.”

“Test it?” Naruto began. “What do you mean?”

Sasuke felt himself squirm in his bed, ever so slightly. He remembered Deidara’s scent and how badly it made him miss Naruto’s. This was the part of the conversation he dreaded the most.

“I tried with someone else. All I could think about was you.”

“You…” Naruto trailed. “You slept with someone else?”

Sasuke could hear the shock and hurt in Naruto’s voice. Whatever motivations Sasuke had, this was the simple truth. Sasuke’s brows were furrowed, and he rubbed at his forehead.

“Yes,” Sasuke replied, somewhat painfully. “If I didn’t know these things for sure, I’d constantly doubt myself should I enter into any commitment.”

The seconds of silence that proceeded felt like torture.

“Fuck…” Naruto answered with a sigh. “Well, it’s not like you cheated or anything. We’re in an open relationship.”

Sasuke knew that he hadn’t broken any rules. He had been glad to hear Naruto say earlier that he understood Sasuke’s reluctance to commit. It was true that they’d only briefly dated before Naruto left, though their chemistry had been insurmountable. Never had Sasuke felt such a strong bond develop within him so quickly, even long before the world had hardened him.

Yet it didn’t make hearing the hurt in Naruto’s voice any less painful.

“We _were_ in an open relationship.”

“Heh,” Naruto chuckled, and Sasuke could so clearly envision his smile. “So no more of that from you, hm?”

“No,” Sasuke said softly. “Even if you forced me into a life of celibacy, I’d wait an eternity.”

He heard Naruto sniffing again.

“Fuck, I’m so glad…”

“Are you okay, Naruto? I know I hit you with a lot.”

Naruto was being understanding, but Sasuke knew Naruto. He knew that Naruto constantly feared that Sasuke would leave him. He wanted Sasuke all for himself, wanted Sasuke to love him in a way he would no one else. Sasuke wouldn’t forget Naruto’s words, spoken in the heat of an argument.

_I know you’re not as into this as I am, but do you have to make it so fucking obvious?_

He tried to reassure Naruto where he could that this simply wasn’t the case.

“I can’t lie and say I’m not bummed that you slept with someone else. But I grasped a while ago that sex, romance, and emotional connection can be treated quite separately by you. I worried that no matter how close we got, you’d never make that leap.”

Sasuke couldn’t help but feel sick to his stomach, knowing that his experiment with Deidara had hurt Naruto. He still couldn’t find it in himself to regret it. Otherwise, his uncertainty might have led him to let the love of his life pass him by.

“The whole time… I just missed you. I tried to pretend it was you. Now I understand it. For the first time in my life, I can say I’m in love, and I could never touch anyone else.”

Maybe the alcohol was making him brave, despite how coherently he was conversing. He couldn’t believe the words he’d just spoken. “I’m in love.” The words felt unreal as they left his lips.

“I may not be the best person, but I want to give you the love you deserve,” Sasuke said, determination leaking into his words. “I’m willing to learn if you’re willing to teach me.”

“I think you underestimate yourself,” Naruto replied, and Sasuke could hear the smile in his voice. “You know plenty about love. Throughout this whole mess, you’ve always been there for me.”

It warmed Sasuke to hear that he had at least been doing something for Naruto. He wasn’t _completely_ powerless.

“And I won’t stop,” Sasuke answered without hesitation.

“Sasu…” Naruto said quietly, lovingly. “Thank you.”

“You would do the same for me.”

“Heh… Yeah. I’d do just about anything for you.”

Sasuke could’ve sworn he felt his cheeks grow a little warmer. What had he ever done to deserve someone like Naruto in his life? Life was unfair, but for once that fact was working in his favor.

“Then fight as hard as you can while you’re gone. Stay strong and come back to me,” Sasuke replied. “I’ll wait.”

Again, he heard sniffling, and a sharp inhale of air. Naruto was crying again.

“God, I just feel so...relieved. But if you ever do that again,” Naruto’s voice was soft, his voice shaking. “I’ll cut off your balls.”

Sasuke couldn’t help but snicker at Naruto saying this, even as the Marine fought tears of happiness.

“Sounds fair.”

* * *

The months passed more quickly as they fell into a steady cadence, though whenever River City was called, it seemed as though time came to a halt for both of them. Months of peace were peppered with action. Naruto had grown accustomed to life or death situations. This most recent time, he’d had a particularly close call. It had been over so quickly that they had no need to freeze communications.

But this wasn’t what Naruto wanted to discuss with Sasuke now. Every now and again, Sasuke would send him a care package, with pictures, drawings, and handwritten letters. Yet Sasuke’s most recent package contained something very special, and Naruto was left breathless as he revealed the contents of the unassuming box: a thick metal band. Naruto had just received it yesterday, tears brimming his eyes as he scanned the area for any onlookers. Sasuke said he had one that matched.

Sasuke didn’t often tell Naruto that he loved him with words, but with every passing day he conveyed it through his actions. That was all Naruto needed. Each day brought him closer to being in Sasuke’s arms. It had been so long since he’d last been touched. Almost two years had passed since Naruto was sent out to fight.

As he opened it, he remembered the exact conversation where Sasuke had weedled Naruto’s ring size out of him. He’d been subtle - apparently Sasuke had been wearing more rings lately. He complained that oftentimes, they didn’t have masculine rings that fit him because his fingers, so long and delicate, were too slim. Who carries size sevens for men? By the way, do you ever have problems buying rings?

He was pleased to be placing another call to Sasuke. After two rings, Sasuke answered.

“Hey,” Sasuke answered, sounding a little occupied.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hold on a sec. Recep-”

“What?”

Silence over the line.

“-subway.”

“I didn’t hear anything you just said.”

“I was saying that I’m coming up from the subway. Reception’s shit down here.”

“Ahh, gotcha.”

Sasuke must’ve been on his way home from work. The times lined up.

“Alright, I’m out.”

“How was work?” Naruto asked, hopeful that Sasuke would share some details. Sasuke knew that the details, as inconsequential as they seemed to him, could help Naruto get through the day. Naruto was sure that the tattooist heard it in his voice.

“More eventful than usual.”

“Yeah?”

Naruto couldn’t help but live through Sasuke. It gave him the feeling of at least some level of normalcy. He was glad that he could speak to Kiba and Sakura as well. The day Sakura’s deployment ended made Naruto feel so giddy that he could’ve danced. She’d made it.

“Some network exec came in right after close. She said she wanted to create a reality show about the Grip.”

Naruto couldn’t help but laugh, especially knowing Sasuke’s personality and purist regard for his craft. Sasuke brutally shut down even the idea of creating branded merchandise, let alone a televised reality series. Sasuke had recently attended his convention in Berlin; it was his second time as a panelist. Sasuke’s business was growing at an astounding rate.

“A _reality show?_ Seriously? What did you say to that?”

“I told her to go fuck herself.”

“Heh, holy shit,” Naruto chuckled. “You didn’t really say that, did you?”

It wasn’t much of a stretch, given Sasuke’s personality.

“Oh, of course not,” Sasuke answered, his voice full of mock offense. “I’d never be so unprofessional to a prospective business partner. It was more like, ‘Get the fuck out of my parlor.’”

Naruto found himself laughing again, cherishing the uncommon levity in Sasuke’s voice. It was a rare situation that Sasuke couldn’t put a smile on his face.

“Oh, that’s much better.”

“See?” Sasuke answered in his level tone of voice that sounded so serious. “Have a little faith.”

He couldn’t stop himself from laughing. He’d always wanted to be on TV, actually. Sasuke could’ve been the star of what was basically his own TV show.

“That’s wild though,” Naruto replied. “A TV show? I don’t know if I could’ve turned that down.”

Yet Sasuke’s decision was anything but surprising to Naruto.

“And be a laughing stock?” Sasuke questioned. “Reality shows appeal to that morbid curiosity people get when they pass wrecks on the highway. People can’t help but stare, and like hell that’s gonna be my business off the side of the road.”

Naruto paused to think about this.

“Karin and Suigetsu were a little disappointed, but they understood my decision.”

Naruto sighed, feeling the slightest hint of insecurity. Of course, he’d never utter a word of this to Sasuke.

“Man, are you gettin’ famous or something?”

Sasuke’s prolonged groan at least partially answered his question.

“I don’t mind being popular in the community, but strangers are starting to recognize me off the streets.”

Naruto certainly wouldn’t have minded fame, but he was sure that Sasuke couldn’t say the same. He’d been clear with Naruto that he wanted to be well-known and respected among the tattooist community. He just didn’t want it interfering with his daily life.

“Ah, what a difficult life it is for you. Poor baby,” Naruto teased.

He heard Sasuke scoff from the other side of the line.

“Most of these people aren’t even familiar with my work. Half the time they’re just flirting with me. They probably saw my face on the internet or some trade magazine. I’m a tattooist, not a fucking model.”

Frustration was soaking Sasuke’s tone. He wanted to be known for his craft, not for his appearance. He could see how Sasuke might find this insulting.

“I get it. Still, I can’t believe I have a famous boyfriend!”

Sasuke clucked his tongue.

“I’m not _famous_. I just have a memorable face.”

“I can’t deny that.”

Who could ever forget that face? The man was lethally attractive.

Still, it wasn’t like his body was any more forgettable. As if his slender, graceful, and powerful frame weren’t enough, the intricate and beautiful designs inked on his skin could leave Naruto staring for hours. Of course, he’d never done so in front of Sasuke.

He so keenly remembered the purple snake twisting around Sasuke’s arms, chrysanthemum flowers providing splashes of light blue around the snakes coils. The fierce and brilliant phoenix taking up his entire back, the flames on Sasuke’s back speaking to the unknown trials that Sasuke endured and his triumph over them. Trials that Sasuke had yet to share with him, even after all this time. As supportive as Sasuke could be, Naruto knew in his gut that part of him was still untouchable, like a powerful lone wolf avoiding the light of towns.

He remembered the words “Nemini Cedimus” tattooed on Sasuke’s chest. When Naruto hit rough times, when he saw others slaughtered around him, he remembered Sasuke’s intense and unyielding stare. Sasuke always felt like a force of nature to him, a puzzle he had yet to solve. Naruto knew that to stand beside Sasuke, he must match Sasuke’s strength. And so he kept fighting, knowing he’d come back to Sasuke’s arms. And he made sure that everyone else in his unit did the same.

“Hey, Sasuke…” Naruto began.

“Hm?”

“I got your package.”

This was the meat of what Naruto had wanted to address in this conversation.

“Good.”

Naruto had gotten better at reading Sasuke’s monosyllabic responses. Without seeing his face, it could be difficult, but he’d had to develop these skills the countless times he’d been on his stomach with Sasuke. He longed to feel Sasuke’s needle kiss his skin again.

“I loved it,” Naruto said. “I’m wearing the ring right now.”

Naruto subconsciously brought his ring hand up to his face and smiled as he looked down at it, palm facing the ground. It was thin and fell just short of a centimeter in length. He wore the dark grey band on his left ring finger, which he certainly didn’t want to admit to Sasuke.

“Yeah, me too.”

Naruto felt himself grin ear to ear, his eyes almost shut. It made him feel as though he left his own mark on Sasuke.

“It’s amazing. Simple but elegant.”

“I tried for something comfortable, since you don’t usually wear rings. The carbide is domed a little where it meets your finger rather than flat.”

Naruto gave the ring a closer look. Sasuke was right. It allowed more room for his skin to breathe, and it was easier to slip over his knuckle. Sasuke knew that Naruto frequently used his hands, and the heat could become oppressive. He was far more thoughtful than he gave himself credit for.

“Yeah, it is comfy,” Naruto answered, feeling his stomach flutter a bit. Even after over a year, he still found himself feeling like a lovestruck teenager sometimes. He couldn’t take his eyes off of his ring.

“Hey uh… What finger do you wear it on? I mean…”

Naruto flustered, knowing exactly how Sasuke would interpret this.

“You know, since they never carry your size,” Naruto corrected. “Do you have to wear it on your thumb or something?”

“No,” Sasuke asked. “They had my size.”

Another pause. Sasuke sighed, no doubt well aware of what Naruto was trying to get at before he awkwardly changed course. Sasuke took a perverse pleasure out of flustering him.

“If you want to know, yes, I wear it on my left ring finger.”

If Naruto had been drinking something, he would’ve choked.

“What! Does that… I mean, people will think you’re-”

“Married?” Sasuke interrupted. “That’s the point.”

Naruto knew his cheeks were flushing bright red and didn’t care. While Naruto was happy that Sasuke had been successful, he couldn’t help but feel jealous about Sasuke’s growing popularity. He didn’t like the idea of other people looking at Sasuke like that.

“I generally have no problem turning people down, but when it’s a customer, there’s this inconvenient thing called etiquette you need to fuck with.”

It was just like Sasuke to be so practical. Regardless of Sasuke’s motivation, it left Naruto glowing. He felt so happy he could explode.

“Naruto?”

He hadn’t realized that he’d forgotten to speak.

“Oh! I’m still here!”

“Damn,” Sasuke sighed. “What a space cadet…”

“Hey!” Naruto shot back. “Am not!”

“Mn,” Sasuke responded simply, and Naruto felt such comfort in his calm tone of voice. “I wish I’d done it a long time ago. Saves trouble.”

He had contemplated telling Sasuke about his close call. Someone opened fire on Lee, and Naruto just happened to be in the right place at the right time. He was able to shove Lee out of the way, just as a bullet grazed his upper arm. It was a superficial wound, and no one was hurt. He’d needed only ten stitches, though it’d leave a scar. Naruto thought that that was pretty badass.

“Heeey, guess what,” Naruto said.

“What?” Sasuke responded flatly.

“I got a badass scar now.”

There was brief silence over the line.

“You idiot,” Sasuke replied. “How did that happen?”

“So… I kinda like… I was doing this action movie level lunge, okay?”

“Okay?” Sasuke answered, sounding impatient.

“And the enemy was shooting and everything. It was like _poom poom poom_! So I just fuckin _dive_. It totally grazed me! Barely.”

He’d leave out the bit about potentially saving Lee’s life. Shoving him out of the way was a no brainer; it didn’t deserve any praise.

“You were almost shot?”

Sasuke was nowhere near as amused by the situation as Naruto had hoped he would be.

“Well, technically I _was_ shot, but it’s really superficial. Just needed ten stitches and a tiny square of gau-”

“Idiot, that’s serious,” Sasuke snapped.

“No, it’s not! It’s like the papercut of gunshot wounds. But isn’t that badass? Too bad the scar is so wimpy.”

Sasuke’s sigh was laden with frustration.

“It could’ve been much worse. You need to be more careful,” Sasuke snarled.

Naruto huffed, disappointed that Sasuke wasn’t as enthused about this as he was.

“This isn’t a game,” Sasuke added.

Naruto’s voice grew somber as he found himself frowning.

“Sasuke, I know that far too well.”

He heard Sasuke issue a long exhale.

“Sorry. I know you’re just trying to be positive.”

“I still think battle scars are pretty metal,” Naruto mumbled.

“Don’t go looking for more,” Sasuke replied, his voice not so irked now.

“Heh,” Naruto answered, beaming. “I won’t. ‘M just gettin rugged. Sexy, huh?”

“You don’t need scars for that,” Sasuke replied, and he heard the smallest hint of teasing in his voice.

“Hey, Sasuke…”

“Mn?”

“I wear it on the same finger.”

Naruto heard the softest exhale, the sound painting a picture in Naruto’s mind of the smile he knew Sasuke was wearing on his face.

“I wonder if they’ll send us home soon…” Naruto trailed off. “In another four months, I’ll have been gone for two years.”

Sometimes it felt as though he had left decades ago, with some of the things he’d seen. His civilian life felt so far away. Yet other times, like when he heard Sasuke’s voice and talked about the times they’d shared, it felt as he’d only left weeks ago.

“Yeah…”

“Ah, I can’t wait,” Naruto almost whined. “First, you’ll pick me up at the airport. Then steak dinner at your place. Then… Heh.”

The two of them had already gone through what they’d be doing together on Naruto’s first night back. Sasuke smirked.

“There are a few things I wanna do. The obvious thing is putting the finishing touches on my tat. I miss being in your chair.”

It was so odd to think that at a time, he had been nothing but a customer to Sasuke.

“I miss having you there.”

Naruto hummed as he allowed himself to dream.

“I’d love to go to Coney Island at night again. That was really fun. Especially at the end.”

He heard Sasuke snicker. They both remembered that, pressed against each other as Sasuke took both of their manhoods in his hand. How they finally orgasmed as the waves lapped at their legs, no one the wiser.

“I might get a new piercing,” Sasuke mused.

“Yeah? Where?”

“I don’t know,” Sasuke answered. “Maybe you could give me some ideas.”

Naruto’s eyes widened as he felt his entire face flush yet again. Sasuke had no idea what he did to him sometimes.

“Wait, my pick?!”

“I never said that.”

“Uh… I… Don’t do it without me?”

He felt a little selfish, but he wanted to be there if Sasuke got another piercing or tattoo. Otherwise, it would feel as though too much time had passed without him.

“You know I wouldn’t.”

“Hmmm,” Naruto almost purred, like a cat basking in sunlight.

“Hey, you gonna be done any time soon?”

Naruto hadn’t noticed a young woman with a neat bun walk up next to him.

“Oh… Yeah, I’m just about done,” Naruto answered. “Sorry, I got caught up.”

“No worries.”

“Have to go?” Sasuke asked.

“Yeah,” Naruto groaned. “But don’t worry. Things have been calm for the most part, so I should be able to call you tomorrow.”

“I guess that’ll do,” Sasuke teased.

“Well… Goodbye, hun.”

“Later.”

Though it always felt like the last thing Naruto wanted to do, he hung up the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed. ♡
> 
> I did my best to explain Sasuke's point of view regarding his hesitance in committing to Naruto sexually. There are so many different ways a romantic relationship can work, and no single one is inherently better than the others (despite society shaming people for them). I've definitely seen that myself.
> 
> Thank you so much for everyone's awesome comments! They really motivate me to write and helped me pick up some momentum.


	27. A New World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: This chapter contains graphic and violent imagery.

“Finally, out of this fucking basin!” Tenten rejoiced.

Even for Afghanistan, the basin they’d been inhabiting had been lethally hot, with temperatures almost 50 Celsius. His combat gear certainly didn’t help keep him cool. Sometimes the pavement would get so hot that walking on it barefoot could cause second-degree burns. It would sap every morsel of energy out of the untrained, but his group of friends continued, one step after the other.

“Even getting down to the low 100s would be helpful,” Neji answered.

“Think of it as training!” Lee chipped in. “The rougher the surroundings, the stronger you get.”

Lee was the ever-present beacon of optimism, matched closely by Naruto. Naruto didn’t like to complain. He wanted to be seen as someone who risked his life to serve his country with a smile. Someone without so many vulnerabilities.

Yet Lee seemed so genuine to Naruto. Naruto wished that he could say that positivity came as naturally to him as it did to Lee, but he had to work for it. Lee provided Naruto with strength when he’d fall into spells of cynicism, when he’d wonder why he was even here if he was powerless to stop so much death and destruction.

“Uuugh, we’ve trained enough,” Tenten groaned.

“I second that,” Neji added.

“Lee’s right,” Naruto said with a grin. “Think of it as a test of endurance.”

With partially lidded eyes, Neji looked over at the two of them flatly as they plodded along.

“I don’t understand you two. You’re way too optimistic.”

Neji had, in the past, expressed amazement at Naruto’s and Lee’s attitudes. Of course, it had been in a mere handful of situations. Naruto’s friendship with Neji had never been the same after they found Konohamaru together. Only they shared that haunting memory.

The two would share furtive and knowing glances when the rest were distracted. And Neji would stand by Naruto and Lee for support, despite the fact that he’d act like he was raising teenagers most of the time they were together.

“You’re so mope-” Naruto started.

And then he heard Marines a few feet ahead of them speaking.

“How many times are we going to have to move before we take care of these fucking hajis?”

That term always irked him. It was his unit’s tendency to fall into this sort of talk. Almost every single militant they fought against was Arabic. Of course, the vast majority of Arabs that they interacted with were nothing but peaceful to them. He wished that they’d remember that the people who shot at them and killed their comrades were the exceptions, not the rule.

“Excuse me,” Naruto shouted out, staring at the group of men. “What did I just hear you say?”

He was frowning now, his voice firm. He refused to be worn down into condoning this sort of language. It was an unpopular stance, but Naruto was a popular guy. He was limited in what he could do when it came from a high ranking officer, but in this case, he believed he could rectify the situation.

“I said…” the guy began sheepishly.

Ever since the incident with Konohamaru, he’d been awarded a certain level of respect from his peers. His unit held a funeral for Konohamaru, and not a single troop was absent. In the briefings room, a plaque hung to commemorate Konohamaru’s memory.

Naruto wished that he had photographs of Konohamaru to hang next to it. He wished he had anything to remember Konohamaru by other than the haunting image that would wake him up in a cold sweat. His nightmares were oft plagued by the sight of dogs picking away at the flesh on his bones, his face too mangled for Naruto to even identify him. He wanted to hear Konohamaru’s voice as he laughed and pushed Naruto and his friends to buy snacks from him and when he played with the other kids.

He didn’t understand why his unit looked up to him. This respect grew as Naruto ran his missions. He only did what he was supposed to as a Marine. He killed where he had to, and he saved whom he could. And that left one hell of a lot of people unsaved.

Even the most pugilistic Marines, even the few who could easily best him in a fight, listened to him.

“Would you call Konohamaru a haji too?” Naruto said unblinkingly.

A few of the people the Marine had been speaking to bowed their heads. The subject of Konohamaru, especially brought up by Naruto, was enough to humble everyone into respect.

“Never,” he answered.

Everyone knew how much Naruto had loved Konohamaru. Despite his best efforts to hide his grief, it had been obvious that he’d been horribly affected. His colleagues had noticed the way his jaw quivered at the funeral, all of the meals he’d missed.

“Then don’t use that word for his people anymore.”

The man frowned, gave Naruto a mild nod, and continued walking. Naruto wondered if Konohamaru had changed them all. He wondered if his sacrifice made his comrades think for one more second before pulling the trigger. After all of the things that Naruto had seen, he believed that Konohamaru was the only one he could truly call a hero.

“Aaaanyhow,” Naruto said in a singsong tone of voice, looking over at his friends again. “First thing I’m doing is taking a cold shower. Then Imma stuff my fucking faaace like no tomorrow.”

Even amongst Marines, Naruto had a formidable appetite. This was yet another thing he was known for.

“How aren’t you fat by now?” Neji grumbled.

“Um… Fast metabolism?”

“I hate you!” Tenten whined, lopping her head back and staring up at the sky as she plodded on. “If I ate like you do, they’d have to _roll_ me for the next move.”

“It’s because Naruto trains so much,” Lee replied, smiling at Naruto.

Whatever spare time that Naruto didn’t spend with his friends or talking to his loved ones back in America, he either trained or read. He trained to keep his body from failing him when people needed him the most. He read to prevent his mind from doing the same.

Naruto flexed his bicep with a massive grin. While he wasn’t the strongest in the unit, he certainly made the top five out of dozens. His friends, save for Lee, looked anything but impressed.

“Oooh, so strong!” Lee said as he clasped his hands. He meanwhile flexed his own bicep, holding it next to Naruto’s. They were damned close to the same size.

What Lee lacked in natural agility, he made up for in effort. He was notoriously clumsy, but he was the only member of the unit who trained more than Naruto did. Lee was easily one of the strongest Marines in the entire unit and the strongest of Naruto’s close friends.

“Feel it, you guys!” Naruto encouraged.

Of course, Lee was more than enthusiastic to do so, while Tenten and Neji simply rolled their eyes.

“How much are you lifting, Naruto?” Lee asked, sounding as excited as he would've had Naruto just announced he would become a father.

The man was the personification of the exclamation point.

“I just made it up to 120-pound bicep curls!”

Tenten’s brows raised. That was how much she’d weighed before she’d bulked up for the service, and he was lifting it with a single bicep. No wonder he could beat the shit out of most anyone in the unit.

“Oh!” Naruto shouted, pointing at Tenten. “You were impressed. I saw it!”

A black butterfly fluttered by them, wings the size of his palm. It distracted Naruto for just an instant before Tenten grabbed his attention again.

“You wish,” Tenten answered, sticking her tongue out at Naruto.

“It’s not like it comes easily, yanno. I-”

_Bang._

He was 6 feet up in the air, his right side was absolutely _roaring_ in pain. His jaws snapped together, and when he opened his eyes, the distance between himself and the ground was roughly the height of a one-story house. He’d spun upside down midair.

Everything moved so slowly now. Out of the corner of his vision, he saw Neji’s torso jettison off into space. His body had burst like a popped water balloon, splatters of his innards smeared on the earth. Tenten had been thrown back onto the ground, and Lee was still floating in the opposite direction of him. He knew his body was flipping over itself; he lost all sense of direction.

The memory of Neji’s torn body consumed his vision as his ears rang with a splitting headache. He found himself thrashed against the ground in an instant, surrounded by a dark cloud of dust. The unsettled particulates offended his eyes, which stung from the muddy blood that resulted. Yet this burning was nothing compared to the agony that ripped up his side.

His unfocused eyes gazed out into the crowd. Others yelled and run. Shot their rifles. He saw their mouths move, but he couldn’t even hear the sound of the bullets that flung up the dust from the ground. He watched things unfold with faraway eyes, viewing everything but understanding nothing.

He felt nothing.

He felt nowhere.

“5/25! 5/25!”

A deafening noise blared this from his headphones, the cacophony riling his aching head and reawakening his consciousness. It was the cue to scan within a 5-meter perimeter to ensure that one isn’t immediately next to a landmine or combatant. This was followed by a 25-meter scan to ensure that militants weren’t positioned around them. Now he heard each and every one of those bullets.

Lee lay on the ground, contorted and unconscious with blood seeping out of his back. His face was tilted toward Naruto, eyes closed. Lee’s torso seemed to have twisted clockwise, but his legs had gone in the opposite direction. He looked broken. Tenten had been thrown several feet out, sitting up and issuing a mournful scream as she beheld the cruel aftermath.

This couldn’t be real. It had to be a dream.

No, a nightmare.

Dirt and blood combined into an ungodly muck that obscured his vision and ran down his nose and jaw. Naruto moved to wipe the substance off with his right hand, only to find he couldn’t feel it. With widened eyes, Naruto looked over to find his arm twisted and drenched in blood. It was sharply bent backward at the elbow.  He fought his body's instinct to vomit. Was that bone he saw?

There was a visceral shock at seeing his body like this; it was a feeling that went beyond articulation. Chunks of jagged metal lodged deeply into his arm and side. He saw what he knew was far too much blood. It was matched by a pain greater than any Naruto had experienced in his life. It felt like his entire body was a pulsing epicenter of agony. His body shook as he fought the strong urge to vomit.

Why couldn’t he feel his arm?

This wasn’t time to question those things; his life hung by a thread. He used his left hand instead to clear his eyes. His left eye was freed, but more and more blood seeped into his right. For now, it was useless. He hissed as his fingers coursed over jagged metal on his face, his uninjured hand coming back soaked in blood.

He found himself breathless for just a second before looking over at his comrades. Tenten was on her feet, but Lee showed no movement.

Lee…

He had to come back into himself. People needed him.

“Oh god, Naruto!” she shrieked. “Lee!”

“Lee!” Naruto yelled, joining Tenten’s cry.

Nothing.

“Lee, wake up!” Naruto cried out, his voice cracking as he coughed.

“Lee!” Tenten wailed.

_“Move!”_ Naruto yelled with everything in him, hoping that if he was loud enough, Lee would wake up. “They’ll kill you!”

Naruto hoped that Lee was only unconscious because he’d knocked his head on the way down, not because of the unsettling angle of his spine. As dizzy and nauseous as Naruto felt, he forced his body upright to rush to Lee. Naruto dedicated every bit of strength within him to lift his body up, one shin departing from the ground. Just as his second knee lifted up from the ground, Naruto’s legs buckled, and his vision got a little blurry. His body gracelessly thudded on the ground. As bullets continued to fall from the sky with all of the force of a monsoon, Naruto wondered if this would be his day to die.

Without hesitation, Tenten ran over to Lee and hoisted him up on her shoulder, the man slumping over it lifelessly. Everyone was shouting. A body fell right next to him like a sack of potatoes, caught in enemy fire. He heard another bomb explode. Naruto grabbed his gun with his uninjured hand, cocking it and firing out into the enemy with his remaining strength.

“Naruto!” Tenten called out, running up to him.

Naruto roared with every ounce of energy he had in him. Neji was dead, and for all he knew, Lee might be too. He had to protect anyone left. His own blood puddled around him. He once again tried to get on his feet, only to be met with empty blackness.

* * *

Naruto felt a bleary pain as light entered his left eye, everything around him blurry. He heard the soft beeps of machinery, walking, and hushed talking nearby. Instinctively, he reached out with his right hand to rub the sleep out of his eye. He felt nothing. In a panic, he looked down at his right side. His arm was still there, but it was covered in a full cast. He felt the slightest relief within him.

He waited for several seconds for the nausea to subside. He felt so high, and it was difficult to focus on anything for too long. How had he gotten here again? He glanced down to notice something dark purple, nearly black, resting on his belly. He reached down with his left hand; it was hair. And that smell… Vanilla and sandalwood.

Had he died? Was he dreaming?

The instant Naruto touched that fuzzy blob of purple, it moved.

“Naruto…” a voice whispered, laden with desperation and raw relief.

He’d recognize that voice anywhere. His mind and vision were still too muddled to discern Sasuke’s figure, but Naruto knew he was here. It was too good to be true. It must be a dream.

“Your head…” Naruto slurred. “‘S purple.”

Sasuke must have dyed it recently.

“Idiot,” Sasuke replied in a voice far too sweet for an insult.

His vision blurred once again, his entire body seized by pain. When he next opened his eyes, Sasuke was freshening up the room. Had he just slept now? His unsteady eyes wandered over to meet Sasuke’s.

“S… S’ke.”

As Naruto’s vision continued to clear, he saw his purple-haired lover sitting by his bedside, looking much worse for wear. He had dark bags underneath his eyes and was clearly in need of a shave. He was wearing a smile unlike any other that Naruto had seen from him.

“Shit, they must really have you doped up,” Sasuke murmured. “Good.”

“Nnn.”

Naruto fought against the sluggishness engulfing his body. He was a little bit more coherent than he’d been the first time around. Sasuke was really here. Sasuke was with him. It was real. He felt tears stream down his left cheek.

“Sa… Sasuke…”

Naruto’s fingers outreached so desperately. He hadn’t seen this man in years, and there he was, right next to him. Sasuke held Naruto’s hand in his own, moving it up to his lips and placing a kiss on it.

“I’m here.”

He gently pet at Naruto’s forehead, or at least where he could.

“Where am I?”

“You’re in Landstuhl Medical Center.”

Landstuhl was America’s largest hospital on foreign soil. Generally, wounded troops would be sent to Walter Reed Army Medical Center in DC. This hospital in Germany was a pit stop for those who were too badly injured to risk a transoceanic flight to America.

Sasuke had come all the way to Germany? For him?

“What happened? How’d I get here?”

Sasuke paused a moment.

“How much do you remember?”

“I don’t know if I remember anything about anybody right now,” Naruto said with a wry laugh.

It sent a pain through his ribcage, and his jaws were almost swollen shut. The last thing he remembered was polishing his shoes before bed.

“How’d I get here?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke stood and watched Naruto, his mouth open ever so slightly as he searched for words.

“You were moving.”

Right! That’s why he was polishing his shoes last night.

He remembered waking up at four in the morning, drinking coffee in a corner with Neji as they did their best to wake up for the trek that was ahead.

“Your unit walked into a minefield.”

He remembered now, far too well. He remembered how in just a heartbeat he went from having a conversation with his friends to being thrown into the air, seeing Neji’s body blown to bits.

He found himself crying without even remembering when he started. Each intake of air pained his chest, pain searing along his ribcage. Sasuke reached forward, wiping the tears off of Naruto’s face.

Neji wasn’t the only one of Naruto’s friends who had been caught up in the explosion. The last he remembered of his friends was Tenten hoisting Lee onto her shoulder while screaming out Naruto’s name.

“Where’s Lee?” Naruto asked.

“I don’t know.”

Naruto squirmed, restrained by the tubes and machines hooked up to him. He needed to make sure that Lee was alright. That he’d survived. His body had prevented him from doing this on the battlefield, but nothing stood in his way now.

“I need to see him right _now_.”

“You’ve been out for a couple days, and you have a high fever,” Sasuke said, cupping Naruto’s cheek with his palm. “Now is not the time to push yourself.”

It had been that long?

If only Naruto’s other hand was in commission, he would’ve started pulling out all of those needles in his arm. He moved to sit up in bed but was quickly deterred by horrific pain in his side.

Sasuke gently pushed Naruto back onto the bed, though Sasuke’s stare was anything but soft.

“Naruto, you need to rest. I won’t lose you.”

“I just…” Naruto was beginning to choke up. “I just need to know he’s okay.”

Losing Neji was bad enough. The thought of losing Lee as well was almost too painful to bear. Sasuke’s brows knit as he looked down at Naruto, a look of pained concern on his face.

“I’ll find out for you, but for now, you need to rest.”

He knew why Sasuke was hesitating, but Naruto couldn’t just sit here unaware.

“Neji… Neji’s dead…” Naruto said.

Sasuke’s eyes widened in surprise. So, they hadn’t told him anything.

“I can’t… Lee can’t die too!”

Sasuke pursed his lips, sucking on his lip piercing with his brows knit together.

“Just wait until you sober up a bit more.”

“No!” Naruto interrupted, his voice still slurring. “What’s going on?”

“Okay, okay,” Sasuke said soothingly. “Is there anyone you can call?”

It was difficult for Naruto to think at this stage. Tenten didn’t seem badly injured. She was probably still in Afghanistan. He didn’t have the contact information of anyone from Lee’s civilian life.

“No. I… I want to see him.”

Sasuke sighed.

“Okay. What’s his full name?”

“Rock Lee.”

A few seconds’ pause.

“That’s his full legal name?”

A name like Lee’s wasn’t exactly common.

“Yes.”

“I’ll talk to the front desk and see what I can find out,” Sasuke compromised, kissing Naruto on the forehead. “I’ll be back.”

* * *

The last thing Sasuke wanted to do was leave Naruto’s side. It nauseated him; he'd watched Naruto's motionless body for two days now. It was so like Naruto, to worry so much about someone else while life as he knew it was ending. He’d been out for three full days, and his fever was spiking as his body warded off infection. Sasuke took the first flight out to Frankfurt, packing his carry-on bag in a mere ten minutes.

Naruto sustained a bad concussion and an untold amount of damage to his entire right side. His face was brutally swollen, the entire right half covered by gauze. His right eye was covered by a patch; apparently, the socket had been fractured. Naruto had undergone two operations while he was unconscious. And his arm... The doctors had been vague with Sasuke.

Never in his life would Sasuke forget how he felt the moment he saw Naruto. His grisly injuries took all of the confidence and pride right out of him, but his eyes watered with joy nonetheless because dammit, Naruto was _alive_. He was right in front of him after nearly two years of only being able to hear his voice. God, how he’d missed him.

Sasuke’s heart stopped the first time he touched Naruto’s skin. The contact sent shivers up his spine. This was the warmth of his lover. He knew, looking at Naruto, that these injuries would change his life forever. Naruto opened his eyes at Landstuhl to find that his old life was gone. As he navigated this new world, Sasuke would stand by his side. As powerless as he felt over the telephone, now he could hold Naruto. Now he could kiss him. His lips chastely met Naruto’s, the Marine still completely unconscious.

The three days that it took for Naruto to wake up seemed like an eternity to Sasuke. He wondered if he might not feel Naruto’s kisses again after all. When Naruto’s eye opened, the entire world around Sasuke fell away, leaving only room for relief and joy. The doctors told Sasuke from the start that he might not survive. His injuries were grave, and they suspected that Naruto’s brain had been damaged in the explosion. Sasuke spent two sleepless nights in the room with Naruto, resting on a plastic chair while never taking his eyes off of him.

He finally reached the front desk, which was manned by a young woman. Sasuke addressed her in German, figuring that if he used her native language, she’d be more likely to give him information. He told her that he was Uzumaki Naruto’s next of kin and that he’d been in his hospital room for two days. Naruto had been from the same unit as Lee, and now that Naruto had awoken, he wouldn’t stop asking for him.

The woman confessed to him that Lee was indeed in Landstuhl. There had been horrendous damage to his skull and spine, with plenty of bones broken. He had yet to wake up. They didn’t know whether he ever would, and if he did, they had no idea what life would be like for him.

While thankful for her trust, he wished that she’d given him something more reassuring to tell Naruto. At the very least, Lee was alive. He was glad that Naruto was far more sober and alert when he returned. The instant Sasuke entered the room, Naruto beat him to the punch.

“Tell me the truth,” Naruto said in a steely tone of voice that sounded so unfamiliar to Sasuke.

Sasuke nodded, taking a breath.

“Lee’s alive.”

Naruto smiled, even despite the pain he was sure to be experiencing. His eyes still moved slowly, deterred by the morphine.

“Oh thank god…” Naruto said, taking a deep breath only to let out two deep, wet coughs.

Naruto winced, and Sasuke bit at his lip piercing. As difficult as it had been to wait for Naruto to awaken, at least Naruto hadn’t been suffering. At least not until now.

“How is he?” Naruto asked.

“He’s still unconscious. They don’t know what’s going to happen.”

God, he wished he didn’t have to say these things to Naruto. He wanted so badly to tell him something happy. To make him laugh, or at least smile.

“What do you mean?” Naruto asked.

“His spine and skull are badly injured.”

“Is he…” Naruto began, his lower lip quivering. “Will he live?”

The weight of the news he was to deliver was crushing. Naruto didn’t deserve any of this. He was a good man. Sasuke wished he could’ve somehow found a way to turn back time, to save Naruto and his friends from what they’d have to endure.

“They don’t know.”

The words hurt coming out, and Sasuke could only imagine how much worse they hurt coming in.

“Dammit…” Naruto said. “I… I couldn’t save them.”

Of course, Naruto would find a way to blame himself. Sasuke returned to his seat, petting Naruto’s forehead.

“No one could.”

Hot tears were again streaming down Naruto’s cheeks, though the man was completely still.

“But they’re my _friends_ ,” Naruto said, his voice hushed yet so packed with emotion. “And I couldn’t save them!”

Naruto had yet to ask a single question about his own condition. Sasuke always knew that Naruto was special, but even still he had moments when all he could do was marvel. How could someone be so selfless?

“You did everything you could,” Sasuke said quietly. “You were all just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Dammit, I… Why was I the one to survive? Why did Neji have to die?”

Naruto still wasn’t fully coherent. Sasuke knew that it was a combination of his pain, his fever, and the morphine doing this to him.

“Why, Sasuke?”

He knew that his pain was nothing compared to Naruto’s. Yet the desperate hopelessness in his lover’s voice, along with the sorry state that Naruto’s body was in, felt like an icepick entering his chest.

“I don’t know, love,” he replied softly, wiping new tears off of Naruto’s cheek with a tissue. “But I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you’re still here.”

He sat by Naruto’s side as tears continued to silently trace down his cheek. Naruto could hardly move, which wasn’t surprising given that he had 5 broken ribs.

Naruto seemed to tire out, as he was now listlessly staring at the wall. Sasuke thought to himself that while he was hooked to an IV, his mouth must be very dry. Naruto hadn’t had anything to drink in days. Sasuke brought over a cup of water, gently placing a straw on it.

“Here. Just sip at it.”

Naruto took a swallow, and then several more. Naruto’s eyes lit up as he sipped.

“Dry mouth?”

“Like cotton,” Naruto answered. He looked down at his body yet again.

“Okay…” Naruto said weakly. “How do I look?”

“Like shit.”

Naruto snickered, only for it to be cut short as he grasped at his side.

“Bastard.”

Sasuke gave Naruto a smirk, and several silent seconds passed.

“What’s the damage?” Naruto asked.

Naruto didn’t have to ask Sasuke to be honest with him.

“You’ve got a horrible concussion, and you broke 5 ribs. That’s why your chest is so sore.”

Naruto nodded, knowing that that wasn’t all there was to it.

“Your right side took a lot of damage. Much of the flesh there was embedded with shrapnel, as well as part of your face. Your right eye socket is also broken, so they’re treating that whole area. That’s why they’ve patched it. Your eye will be fine.”

Naruto frowned as he looked down at his sheets.

“There goes my modeling career,” he laughed wryly.

Not that he’d had one to begin with.

“Hm, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sasuke replied. “I thought you said battle scars were badass.”

Naruto grunted.

“You’ll be stunning, Naruto,” Sasuke added, his voice low and sweet. “As always.”

Naruto couldn’t help but smile, despite the situation.

“You mean I’m not stunning now?” he answered with an impish grin.

The sight of it warmed Sasuke to his very core.

“Yes, you could definitely stun some people with that face of yours right now. You look like you were pummeled by a baboon.”

Naruto laughed, only to again be wracked by a dagger-like pain in his side. The unconcealed portion of Naruto’s face was mostly red, purple, and blue, his jaws, nose, and cheeks swollen.

“Can… Can I see?”

Sasuke cast Naruto an apprehensive glance. Naruto seemed to be coming around, but Sasuke didn’t want to upset him when his condition was still so unsteady. Naruto looked horrible, though most of it was due to heavy bruising and swelling. The parts of Naruto’s face that would scar were all covered by gauze now.

“If you’re sure,” Sasuke shrugged, as if it were no big deal.

He took a small handheld mirror from the sink, bringing it over to Naruto. His heart skipped a beat as he handed the mirror to Naruto, his lover’s single eye widening in shock.

“Holy…” Naruto began. “Holy shit, you really weren’t kidding. Heh.”

He could tell that Naruto was struggling to keep his tone upbeat.

“A lot of that’s just swelling. You’re really bruised up. Half of your body is black, blue, and yellow.”

Naruto moved his head just slightly to indicate a nod.

“Yeah, that makes sense. I was airborne, so I probably got even more banged up when I hit the ground.”

Naruto paused.

“You said that the gauzed up areas are where they’d taken out the shrapnel, right?”

Sasuke nodded.

“Damn…” Naruto replied, a nervous laugh in his tone. “There’s a lot of gauze on my face.”

Sasuke frowned. Neither of them could know what Naruto’s face looked like under those bandages. He noticed Naruto’s lower jaw move.

“Seems like I’ve lost a few teeth too. Molars.”

“Not surprising.”

Sasuke didn’t know what else to say. Naruto didn’t seem to be taking the news too badly, but maybe he was just putting on a strong face.

“Um… Sasuke, what happened to my arm?”

Naruto bit his lower lip as he asked this question, and he noticed Naruto’s toes squirm under the sheets. This was the part Sasuke looked forward to the least.

“It took a horrible beating. You’ve already had two surgeries. They removed tons of shrapnel from it, which had sliced an artery. It’s crushed in two places and fractured in another one.”

Naruto was frowning now, and the tremor in his stare couldn’t be missed. He remembered the way his arm had looked when he hit the ground, bent backward at such a grotesque angle.

“Sasuke, I meant to tell you… I haven’t been able to feel my arm since I got hit.”

Despite himself, Sasuke couldn’t hide the shock on his face.

“Am I going to lose it?” Naruto asked in a small voice, his eyes timidly gazing up into Sasuke’s as the corners of his lips sunk.

Sasuke wished he had better news to share with Naruto. The doctors had told Sasuke that they’d “do what they can” to save Naruto’s arm. When Sasuke asked what Naruto’s chances looked like, they simply told him it was too early to say at this point.

“They don’t know, love.”

Naruto swore, glancing toward the window as his eye became glassy yet again. Sasuke would’ve done anything to be able to reassure Naruto, to make it so that he’d play his guitar again.

“It’s not over yet,” Sasuke said, holding Naruto’s left hand in his own. “They’ve planned some surgeries to save it. Even should the worst happen, we’ll make it work.”

Naruto closed his eye and took a light breath in. He looked like he was about to cry.

“A lot of good a paralyzed arm will do me,” Naruto said grimly. “Maybe they can fix that though. I don’t know.”

Sasuke nodded slowly.

“They said that you’d probably have some residual nerve damage, though they weren’t sure how much. There are surgeries and therapy you can undergo to get more feeling back.”

“Fuck…” Naruto sighed.

He knew that Naruto was barely fighting back panic. He couldn’t blame him. But Naruto wasn’t alone.

“Naruto… We’re both strong and adaptable people. Whatever happens, we’ll handle it together.”

Sasuke played with the carbide ring on Naruto’s left ring finger. He was glad that they hadn’t removed it when Naruto was admitted to the hospital, holding Naruto’s uninjured hand tightly and lowering himself to Naruto’s face.

“I’m in your ring, no matter what.”

Naruto looked like Sasuke’s words had reminded him of something.

“You never showed me your ring,” Naruto pouted.

Sasuke raised his hand to Naruto, showing him the identical dark band around his left ring finger. Naruto smiled, and Sasuke couldn’t help but join him.

“That’s because it’s identical, dumbass.”

“I know. But I like seeing you wear it.”

Sasuke emitted a soft smile, leaning forward and gently pecking his lips against Naruto’s. His entire face lit up; it was almost like magic.

“Damn, what a tease…” Naruto groaned.

There was no kissing each other, at least not deeply. Naruto’s mouth was certainly too sore at this point.

“Tell me about it.”

Naruto let out a long, wistful sigh. Despite his grim reality, Naruto looked up at Sasuke with a smile.

“I missed you so much, Sasu,” Naruto said. “I can’t even begin to express it.”

Sasuke nodded. When the FRO had told Sasuke what happened, they didn’t know whether or not Naruto would survive. He didn’t know how he’d be able to handle the crushing loneliness of being on his own again. Fortunately, there was no need to now.

“Ditto.”

“It almost feels too good to be true, doesn’t it? When I first saw you, I could’ve sworn I was dreaming.”

Sasuke could’ve said the same, though he wasn’t clear if what happened would be considered a dream or a nightmare. He again clasped Naruto’s clammy left hand.

“I’m just glad you’re still here,” Sasuke mumbled, pressing Naruto’s hand to his forehead.

“Wouldn’t know what to do without me, would ya, bastard?” Naruto answered, attempting to grin despite being impeded by the ungodly amount of swelling in his mouth.

“Whatever,” Sasuke averted, only for Naruto to emit a satisfied snort.

He sat beside Naruto for several more seconds, holding his hand. Though covered in sweat, it was warm and lithe. Thank god.

“Please don’t ever go anywhere I can’t follow, Naru,” Sasuke said softly, unable to fully hide his vulnerability. “At least no time soon.”

“Nah… You’ll never get rid of me now,” Naruto teased.

Sasuke sighed, a sad smile on his lips.

“God, I really hope not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I gave everyone what they wanted (a reunion) but put y'all through hell in the process. Some of you saw this coming. As someone who's been in some violent and frightening life or death situations, I write this chapter from experience.
> 
> This chapter marks a new section of this fic (kind of a Part II). Naruto has returned from war. How will both Sasuke and Naruto deal with the aftermath of the war? How will their relationship adjust to this new reality? How will their dynamics change now that they're physically together again? What kind of unholy hell will they raise in the bedroom now that Sasuke has full access? (What? It's relevant!)
> 
> I'll also be fleshing out Sasuke's character and past.
> 
> I hope everyone's enjoyed up to this point. And I hope to respond to everyone's comments soon. Please don't ever think I don't appreciate each and every one.


	28. A Fragile Strength

“Oh my god…” Sasuke griped, his fingers kneading his temples as he took a sip of coffee. “How many times has Chiyo told you not to sit up?”

Dr. Chiyo, as she insisted on being called, was a small woman with shoulder-length grey hair and eyes every bit as sharp as her tongue. She had explained how important it was for Naruto to keep his body still no less than five times. Yet that didn’t prevent Naruto from trying to get out of bed in the middle of the night to shit. For once, Sasuke was thankful that he was such a light sleeper. Naruto received the verbal lashing of a lifetime when Sasuke caught him red-handed.

Then Naruto had the nerve to act like he was just being a nag. Somehow Naruto had gotten it into his head that he was the single exception to every rule the doctors gave him. In most times like these, Sasuke would be the first to flip authority figures the bird and have his own way. Abiding rules was by no means his strong suit, but sometimes there was a good reason for them.

“But I just need…” Naruto whispered, reaching for his orange juice.

“Ask next time, dumbass,” Sasuke sighed, picking the juice box up himself and leading the straw to Naruto’s mouth.

Naruto purred as he took a couple sips, licking his lips. He’d been stuck on IVs for too long.

“Come on. It’ll be fine! Don’t be so stiff.”

“Are you a doctor?” Sasuke asked, Naruto theatrically rolling his eyes. “No. So how about you listen to one?”

Naruto huffed, frustrated.

“You don’t know what it’s like not to sit up for like...a week.”

Naruto was coming around. Some of the swelling in his face had gone down, and he would soon have his third surgery under the belt. The first two had been performed while Naruto was unconscious. They’d had so much shrapnel to remove from Naruto’s body that his first surgery lasted eight hours.

“You were unconscious for half of that week.”

 “The body knows, dammit!”

Sasuke was glad that Naruto at least had energy enough to argue with him. Now that he’d nearly been weaned off of the IV, they’d given him applesauce, which he was deeply tired of. Naruto had made damned sure that he realized this.

But Sasuke was grateful for that too. He was glad that Naruto was awake at all. Glad that after all that happened to Naruto, he still had the zest in him to histrionically pout when he was delivered yet another applesauce. It seemed his facial expressions were working double time to make up for how stifled Naruto was in expressing body language.

“Hey, Sasuke hun, could you reach over me and shut that blind a little?”

Naruto’s bed sat directly across from a window overlooking a large parking garage, the sky mostly cloudy with hints of pink and purple. It was early morning now, just a couple of hours past sunrise. It was a dry day in the middle of a week of rain. Bracing himself by the handrail near Naruto’s shoulder, Sasuke leaned over to slip the blind.

“A little more…”

He leaned forward a little now, somewhat precariously balanced and concentrating not to fall over on Naruto. He braced himself on the hand rail.

“Just a _little_ more…”

Sasuke made his annoyance known in a quiet grunt but continued, resting on one foot now as he stretched himself out. If he’d have known Naruto had wanted the damned thing nearly shut, he would’ve just moved to the foot of the bed.

He felt Naruto’s strong palm cup his ass.

“Heh. Nice.”

Why was he even surprised?

“For Christ’s sake, Naruto…”

“Okay, now open it back up again.”

Sasuke raised his brows at Naruto, as if to say, “Are you fucking serious right now?”

Naruto was absolutely hellbent on testing his patience, it seemed. He crossed his arms, glaring at Naruto.

“Can’t blame me,” Naruto said, his swollen face breaking into a grin. “It’s been almost two years.”

Times like this, he saw the Naruto he’d known coming back. It felt so crazy to have Naruto right in front of him, to reach out and touch him. For a moment, Sasuke contemplated leaving the curtain shut out of spite, but he also would appreciate some sunlight. He had yet to leave the hospital for a single night, and the days were blurring together.

“You should’ve just asked, idiot.”

“Just ask to grab your ass out of the blue? That would’ve been weird.”

Sasuke tilted his head.

“Not any weirder than that curtain charade.”

“Okay. Double squish?”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto, as if to say “don’t push your luck,” causing Naruto to emit a nervous “heh.”

“I’ve gone too long without a mere touch to the booty. Argh, a pirate needs his booty!” Naruto said, pointing at his eye patch and doing his best pirate impersonation.

As happy as he was to see Naruto in bright spirits in this situation, Naruto was taking his life in his hands testing Sasuke like this. Against his better judgment, he let him make another successful grab but let his impatience be known. He was enabling him, Sasuke thought to himself.

“Man, in two years’ time, I forgot how tight that ass is. Like you could crack a chestnut on it.”

Naruto’s hand was still cupping his ass. He clearly was enjoying himself.

“Are you horny?”

“Yes,” Naruto said as he emitted a mock cry. “How could I not be? I mean, it’s _you_.”

Naruto gestured Sasuke’s body from top to bottom, donning a theatrical frown.

“And it’s been forever, and now that we finally meet, my body’s fallin’ apart. This is cruel!”

Naruto reached out with his hand and made several grabbing gestures at the air. Naruto was incapable of acting upon these urges now. Sasuke found himself smirking.

“Such a tease…”

Sasuke hadn’t intended to make his voice sound so seductive.

“Exactly!” Naruto shouted, only then remembering the pain in his side and giving a pained wince. “Not that I’m much to look at.”

Sasuke paid attention to Naruto’s tone, biting at his lip piercing. He knew that Naruto was the type to hide his pain to avoid being the so-called “downer friend” or “that guy,” as Naruto put it. He’d need to be perceptive now.

“You’re a hot mess,” Sasuke sighed. “Sexy cannula.”

He couldn’t claim not to enjoy the levity in Naruto’s voice. It came and went. But he could sense the depression that plagued over Naruto. The way that he’d stare off into the night only to smile at Sasuke the instant he caught his eyes didn’t go unnoticed.

“Oh, I knew you were kinky, but I never knew you had a medical fetish.”

“Don’t get too excited,” Sasuke said, raising a pierced brow as he sat next to Naruto. “You still have a catheter in your dick.”

Naruto chuckled for a moment.

“I know. Vlad is inconsolable, but who can blame the guy?”

Sasuke merely rolled his eyes, Naruto’s hushed laughter rolling on for a few seconds more.

“Mmmn, I’m a tepid mess at best,” Naruto mumbled. “You’re going to need to channel into some serious ‘beauty comes from within’ shit if you wanna bust a nut around me, Sasuke.”

Naruto’s smile dwelled in his lips but not his eyes, and his voice carried a hint of sadness. Naruto was a more insecure person than he’d let on. He knew that Naruto would need reassurance from him, but he questioned his ability to give it consistently. He honestly had no precedent for how he would act in a situation like this.

“I’m a man who appreciates well-earned scars,” Sasuke said with a shrug. “Also, your ass is nearly as tight as mine. At the very least, I could break a few walnuts.”

Sasuke watched Naruto as he spoke; his breath seemed to catch in his throat for an instant at Sasuke’s first sentence.

“ _Walnuts?_ ” Naruto replied. “Is that all? I’m hurt!”

Sasuke huffed, Naruto grinning as they shared silence again.

“Hey, Sasuke…” Naruto murmured.

“Hm?”

“Could you take off your shirt?” Naruto asked, looking toward the window.

Sasuke gave Naruto an insouciant shrug in exchange, taking a second to decide whether or not he’d heed Naruto’s desires. He crossed his arms, hands clasping the bottom corners of his shirt. In one smooth move, he lifted it over his head.

Naruto’s eyes widened for just a second, and then they almost seemed to water.

“Nngh!” Naruto said, clamping his eyes shut.

“What’s your problem?”

“How the fuck can you be so hot?” Naruto panted, shaking his head. “I mean goddamn...”

The morning sun illuminated Sasuke’s frame. He’d almost forgotten Sasuke’s pale musculature, so vividly contrasted by the vibrant tattoos on his back, arms, and chest. Suddenly, Naruto was brought back to the day he first met Sasuke. He’d yawned as Karin’s needle scaled the script on his chest.

“You’ll have to hold on for a while longer. We’ll put all that pent-up energy to good use,” Sasuke said with a smirk. “Trust me.”

“Remember when I said that I was fine?” Naruto asked.

“I do.”

“I lied. I’m dying now,” Naruto moaned. “You’re killing me.”

“Wouldn’t be a bad way to go,” Sasuke shrugged.

“Think you could take a few more articles of clothing off?” Naruto asked, waggling his brows.

“Ahem.”

They both turned toward the door, a small woman with shoulder-length grey hair and pursed lips staring at them. Unflustered, Sasuke put his shirt on again. The doctor didn’t seem bothered by it.

“Uzumaki Naruto?”

He was back. Naruto quickly sat up in bed to address him.

“Hey, Doc!”

She merely frowned, no time lost to hesitation.

“I told you not to sit up.”

“He’s been disregarding that rule completely,” Sasuke pitched in.

“Sasuke!” Naruto hissed, a look of betrayal on his face. “What the hell?”

Sasuke had been waiting for this. He’d tried to explain to Naruto why it was so important for him to listen to the doctor’s advice. Naruto wouldn’t listen to him. Somehow, he needed Dr. Chiyo to convince Naruto to behave.

“In a more general sense, he hasn’t been listening to anything you tell him.”

“You fucking na-!” Naruto shouted, coughing now. “Narc!”

Sasuke didn’t feel the slightest bit remorseful, and his face displayed this perfectly. If Naruto wouldn’t listen to him, hopefully he’d get the picture if the doctor put some fear in him. Besides, it’s what he got for treating his body recklessly and hassling him with the goddamned curtain.

Meanwhile, she seemed entirely unfazed.

“It’s extremely important for you to rest. We’ve reinforced your bones heavily with metal rods and have sutured your skin together as best we could, but we could only make the bones so secure. Not treating your body gently will impede the healing process.”

Her voice reminded Sasuke slightly of a stern librarian. Naruto rolled his eyes.

“And what does that mean? Any long-term implications?” Sasuke asked, for Naruto rather than for himself.

It was common sense that handling his body roughly could cause permanent damage, with everything from bones to arteries to nerves trying to mend.

“More residual damage, especially in the case of your arm. We’re hoping that as many nerve connections grow back as possible, and there are several risk areas going all the way up to your shoulder.”

The way Naruto frowned almost made Sasuke regret his approach. He just hoped that it’d make Naruto listen so that his body would have every possible advantage. This was no time to be in denial.

The doctor pinned an X-ray of Naruto’s arm up to a lit frame on the wall. A ruler in her hand, she pointed at Naruto’s arm.

“As you can see, there’s a compound fracture in the forearm, and another in the humerus. You can see that we’ve put a total of three metal rods into your arm so that it will heal correctly.”

Naruto nodded, frowning again. Sasuke knew he was trying hard to keep it together, trying to forget why he was here and what that could mean for his future. Naturally, it had to be his dominant hand.

“We need to do two things in this surgery. First, we’ll be putting several pins through your arm, which will connect to metal rods outside of your skin.”

“You’re really goin for the whole cyborg look, aren’t ya doc?” Naruto grinned. “Don’t I already have enough scrap metal in me?”

It was true. Even aside from the rods, they hadn’t been able to remove all of the shrapnel from Naruto’s side. Some pieces were just too small, or in too precarious of a position.

“We’ll remove both the rods and the pins once your arm heals.”

“Sounds like a hoot,” Naruto said in a voice laden with sarcasm, though he didn’t look rattled.

Naruto was tough when it came to pain. Sasuke was reminded a little of himself.

“The second thing we’ll need to do is to repair at least your major nerves. Two large nerves in your arm were severed. I’ll try to suture them together in this operation.”

Naruto’s brows knit together.

“So… Is it possible that I’ll be able to feel my arm after this?”

She crossed her arms, leaning into Naruto slightly as she spoke.

“Entirely, though even if you don’t, that doesn’t mean that you won’t regain feeling later. Nerves grow very slowly, and we have other surgical options if this isn’t successful.”

All they could do was hope for the best. Sasuke couldn’t help but remember how happy Naruto looked when he played the guitar. He hoped he’d be able to hear Naruto nail Voodoo Chile again, for both of their sakes.

“This is an internal surgery, so you’ll need to go under general anesthetic.”

The recovery would be rough for such an invasive surgery. Sasuke couldn’t help but struggle with seeing Naruto in so much pain, but he the hope on Naruto’s face was unmistakable.

“By internal surgery, ya mean you’re gonna open up my arm again?” Naruto asked.

“Yes. We’ll need to make incisions along the bicep and forearm. Unfortunately, we can’t do this arthroscopically.”

Naruto shrugged. What was a couple more scars after so many new ones?

 “Okay.”

This surgery certainly was no joke, Sasuke thought to himself. As soon as the morphine wore off, Naruto had turned down his painkillers. It frustrated Sasuke. Wasn’t that what they were for? What was he trying to prove?

After this procedure, Naruto was bound to be hurting, though it wasn’t as if that weren’t Naruto’s default state for the time being.

“What surgeries will he need after this one?” Sasuke asked.

“At a bare minimum, he’ll need surgeries to remove the rods and pins. We’ll also need to work to repair some of the nerves. If we need to, we may try a nerve graft.”

When Naruto had initially been admitted, Naruto had been in no position to endure any surgeries that were not directly tied to saving his life. He’d lost so much blood. Sasuke wondered how many surgeries were in Naruto’s future.

“Most of the nerve regrowth will occur within the next couple months, but they could continue growing for as long as a year. Additional surgeries could bring more agility and feeling back to it.”

Sasuke nodded. The doctor seemed to be thinking pretty far down the line. A good sign, perhaps? He glanced at Naruto, who seemed to be lost in thought.

“How confident are you that he’ll be able to keep his arm?”

Maybe he should’ve let Naruto ask this question, but Sasuke so rarely saw the doctor. He knew that Naruto would appreciate the information later.

“You never know with this sort of thing. Blood seems to be circulating well. As long as we keep infections at bay, I’m optimistic.”

Most people would have never noticed that faint smile on Sasuke’s lips, but Naruto didn’t miss it for a second.

“See?” Naruto said. “Told you so.”

“This does _not_ mean that you are in the clear,” the doctor frowned. “If you don’t follow my instructions, things could go south.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Naruto replied, again rolling his eyes.

Sasuke grit his teeth and exhaled. He could tell that the doctor’s words were penetrating somewhat, but not deeply enough. Naruto acted like a kid sometimes.

“We’ll be taking you in tomorrow morning.”

They’d both been aware that Naruto would be undergoing another surgery soon, but neither of them had expected it to be so early. Anyway, it wasn’t as if either of them had any places to be.

“Oh, okay,” Naruto continued.

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” the doctor asked.

“Yes?” Naruto asked, raising his brow. “But nothing in your pay grade.”

“I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, Naruto,” the doctor responded curtly.

“Yup!” Naruto answered with a grin.

The instant she left, Naruto narrowed his eyes as he stared Sasuke down.

“Sasuke, you’re a great heaping mound of sweaty testicles.”

“Hm?” Sasuke asked, feigning ignorance.

“Don’t you ‘hm’ me! You know exactly what I’m talking about!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes but leaned toward Naruto nonetheless.

“It’s for your own good.”

“It’s for your own good,” Naruto mimicked in a high, whiny voice.

“That’s got to be one of the worst imitations I’ve ever heard.”

“You’re such a stick in the mud.”

“If that’s what I have to be to stop your dumb ass from sabotaging your recovery, so be it.”

Naruto pouted, and several seconds passed.

“I hope this works,” Naruto said, some awkward laughter in his tone.

“Yeah, me too,” Sasuke replied.

He felt like he should be saying something to reassure Naruto. His presence was helpful in and of itself, but it felt so sorely inadequate.

“I…” Naruto began. “I hope things turn out for Lee well too.”

Now Naruto couldn’t hide the frown on his face. He’d gotten a call from Tenten yesterday. Naruto had earlier told Sasuke that he was concerned about her, left alone to fight with one friend dead, one in critical condition, and the other requiring extensive repairs. Fortunately, Tenten escaped with little more than a bruised tailbone and a few stitches. Leave it to Naruto to worry about everyone except himself.

He watched Naruto smile and tell Tenten that he was just fine. It was so convincing that had he not known better, even he might have believed it.

Lee had yet to wake up, and little was known about his prognosis. Sasuke knew that Naruto was trying not to talk about it. Not only was Naruto in horrible physical condition with shaky prospects, but he’d also lost one friend and possibly a second. Yet Naruto still had that dopey grin as he spoke with Tenten, as if his entire life hadn’t just changed.

It was a strength that left Sasuke in awe. He was right to take Naruto for his own. Yet the injustice of the situation made Sasuke feel both livid and sick. He wished that it had been him. It would have been much fairer that way, and he was already bitter to begin with.

“If Lee wakes up…” Naruto began. “When Lee wakes up… Could you go and visit him for me? I’m dyin’ of anticipation here.”

Naruto was in no position to be making visits; Sasuke would be his eyes and ears. He’d never met this man before, though Naruto told him that Lee at least knew who he was and what he looked like. Despite how awkward the situation was bound to be, he couldn’t refuse a request like this coming from his lover.

“Of course.”

“Thanks…” Naruto said with a faint smile on his lips, his voice sounding tired now.

Sasuke nodded, well within Naruto’s view. They quietly rested next to each other, Naruto’s hand reaching out for Sasuke’s. He gave it a gentle squeeze, and they stayed in that position until Naruto drifted off to sleep.

* * *

His eyes flung upon without knowing why, his face drenched in sweat. Why did his chest hurt so badly? Despite remembering nothing for those few seconds, Naruto instinctively attempted to sit up in bed and review his surroundings. He was kept down by a sharp, zapping pain that coursed down his ribcage.

It only took a couple seconds for it all to come back to him. He was sitting in the mess hall with his unit, Konohamaru sitting next to him as he shared his food with him. Konohamaru’s standard trolley full of Gatorades and Snickers sat beside the bench, not looking the slightest bit out of place. Everyone was laughing. Then Naruto yawned, stretching out and closing his eyes.

When he opened his eyes, suddenly he was on the battlefield again. Lee and Konohamaru lay beside him, one maimed and the other blown apart as bullets rained down. Naruto sunk to his feet to cry and reached out to brush his dominant hand against Konohamaru’s cheek, only to find that his arm had been severed halfway down his humerus.

“Save me…” Konohamaru whimpered. “Don’t leave me here!”

“Save me…” Neji mumbled out in unison, whimpering, his limbless torso trying to wiggle forward.

Lost in his dream, Naruto hadn’t questioned the sudden transition, or the fact that neither of them should be alive with the severity of their injuries.

Naruto picked Konohamaru up with his only remaining hand, but Neji lay strewn about the battlefield.

“Save me, Naruto!” Neji shouted, tears running down his cheeks.

“I…”

But the bullets never ceased, one hitting Konohamaru in the shoulder. With his arm gone, there was no way he could carry both of them.

“I… I’m so sorry, Neji…”

Naruto sobbed as he turned tail and ran away with Konohamaru. He didn’t mind sacrificing his own life, but he would never take Konohamaru, a child, down with him.

Could he really save Neji? Or was he just dead anyway?

Blood poured down his side, seeping from whatever was left of his arm, making him dizzy and light-headed.

He ran for what felt like miles, his body doused with exhaustion and agony. Finally, he rested Konohamaru on a desert dune. Except it wasn’t Konohamaru anymore. It was a corpse. He lost everything and saved no one.

He wailed with everything he had in him, and then he woke up.

Now he fought the urge to vomit, his body so uncomfortably sweaty underneath his bandages. The room spun around him. Sasuke was sleeping on a reclining chair. Aside from the occasional food and bathroom breaks, Sasuke had stayed by his side ever since he’d arrived.

It was rare for Sasuke to sleep, especially in this noisy place with beeping machines and constant disruption from nurses. In the darkness, Sasuke’s hair looked completely black. It was already such a dark shade of purple it only showed up in sunlight or brightly lit rooms. Sasuke’s presence made him feel safe, his breathing slowly returning to normal.

Sometimes he marveled at what a cynic Sasuke deemed himself to be. Even after everything, he looked at Naruto with respect. He’d said that Naruto was good and pure - perhaps too pure for his own good sometimes. He said that Naruto always put others above himself.

But if that was true, why were Neji and Konohamaru dead? Why hadn’t he found a way to save them? Why was he even still alive? Why did he deserve that, out of the many, military and civilian alike, who died right before his eyes?

He found himself wondering if this is how Sasuke felt when Naruto would insist to him that he was a good man. Yet it was a simple truth, and the remarkable support that Sasuke showed to Naruto throughout this ordeal was a testament to that. Naruto wasn’t the same man he was when he left. Perhaps this new version of himself didn’t deserve someone like Sasuke.

Even as he listened to Sasuke’s long and peaceful breathing, he wondered if he would only drag Sasuke down. His art meant so much to him, and he had yet to so much as mention it. He’d dropped everything for Naruto, and even after a week had passed, he focused on Naruto alone.

Of course, now was just the beginning. If he wasn’t able to regain function of his arm, it would burden both of them. This wasn’t even considering the emotional wreck he’d become. He’d been able to hide that from Sasuke well enough so far, but eventually, something had to give. Sasuke had no idea what he was getting himself into.

Sasuke hadn’t signed up for any of this. He’d committed to a healthy person, a normal person. Someone who was whole, both physically and psychologically. And that Naruto was dead and gone.

_You’re a good person, Naruto. Too good for this world._

He remembered Sasuke saying this to him just days ago, as he desperately tried to get information on Lee’s status. Now, he emitted a bitter scoff at the irony of those words.

He heard Sasuke mumble from his side of the room. Naruto chided himself; he knew that Sasuke was a light sleeper. He’d been getting horrible sleep, though it wasn’t surprising considering both his insomnia and the difficult sleeping arrangements. Naruto didn’t miss the bags under his eyes for a second, nor did he miss the way that Sasuke would knead at his temples when he thought that Naruto wasn’t looking.

“Naruto?” Sasuke mumbled.

Naruto had half a mind to pretend to be asleep. If he started a conversation with Sasuke, it would ruin any chance he had of falling back to sleep. Though in all honesty, he’d learned that if Sasuke was alert enough to talk, it was practically a lost cause.

Naruto had seen so much of Sasuke’s sleeping habits over these days, and for Sasuke’s sake, he hoped that it was just his disruptive surroundings that were doing this to him. If this was really what life was like for Sasuke… It both pained him and filled him with awe. How could Sasuke have become so successful with such a hardship?

“Hey…”

Naruto forced himself to smile as he talked. Even if Sasuke couldn’t see him, he knew that it would come through in his voice.

“Can’t sleep?”

“I was sleeping just fine…” Naruto murmured. “Just...had a dream.”

He could hear Sasuke readjust himself. There was enough light for Naruto to discern that he was sitting up. He heard Sasuke smirk.

“The ones that wake you up are usually the worst.”

Sasuke was muttering, and it almost seemed like he was speaking to both Naruto and himself. The grogginess in his voice couldn’t be missed.

“Can’t argue with that.”

“Do you think you can fall back to sleep?”

Sasuke sounded concerned. He was indubitably thinking about his surgery the next morning. Before all of this, he would have never guessed that Sasuke could be such a mother hen.

“I dunno.”

“Then I’ll keep you company until then.”

Wasn’t Sasuke the one who was too good for this world? He had to admit that initially meeting Sasuke, he wouldn’t have ever pegged him as such. He was kinder than he ever let on.

“Sasu, you need your sleep.”

“Not as badly as you do,” Sasuke replied with a shrug that could be heard in his voice.

The silence offered such a stark contrast to all of the emotions that brewed underneath Naruto’s surface. Seconds passed.

“Sasuke…”

“Hm?”

His throat tightened just as he was about to speak, but he choked the words out regardless.

“Why was I the one to survive?”

He hated himself for speaking those words. He didn’t want to worry Sasuke. He wanted to show him the Naruto he’d always known.

“I don’t know,” Sasuke admitted. “They were at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Naruto couldn’t help but laugh.

“At the wrong place at the wrong time? Sasuke, do you have _any_ idea how many…”

He’d seen so many fall.

“People are dead because of me,” Naruto said in a small voice. “It was my finger on the trigger.”

He felt like an idiot as soon as he spoke those words. Sasuke was a civilian. How could he ever understand? Yes, this was a new side of him. Maybe he’d just scare Sasuke away. Maybe it would be better if Sasuke never knew this part of him.

And why would he burden him with this? Hadn’t he already brought Sasuke down enough? He deserved no sympathy.

“You only did what was right. You’re a good man with good intentions.”

“Yeah, it’s a shame that ‘good intentions’ can’t bring people back from the grave,” he practically spat.

Once he started talking, he couldn’t stop. He heard Sasuke move and felt his cold hand rest over his uninjured one. He was tempted to flinch away. It was a comfort he didn’t deserve.

“That’s war. No one can change that. But you’re…” Sasuke paused. “Ever since you woke up, you’ve been worrying about others more than you’re worrying about yourself. I’ve never worn rose-colored glasses, Naruto. I know it’s hard to see right now, but you’re good, and the world’s better for having you in it.”

He clenched his jaw, tears flowing down his cheeks.

“It’s just… It’s just not fair…”

He squeezed Sasuke’s hand, and he squeezed back. Then he felt Sasuke’s lips against his forehead - a simple peck.

“I know, love.”

He hated the sniffling sounds coming from him. They sounded so pathetic. These were no sounds that any Marine should make. Why did he always have to cry in front of Sasuke? And why did Sasuke still stick around?

“Naruto, when you go back to New York… Do you know where you’ll stay?”

This had been something Naruto had preferred not to think about. Sure, maybe the military could help. He could apply for benefits. Naruto shrugged. He wished he could see Sasuke’s expression.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

Naruto let the seconds pass.

“My place is big. Why don’t you stay there until you can get back on your feet?”

Naruto’s breath hitched in his throat. This…

“Are you… Are you serious?”

He couldn’t believe that Sasuke, who had shied away from commitment so much initially, was proposing this. He tried to keep himself from hoping, but there was already this fluttery feeling in his chest. This couldn’t be happening.

“No, dumbass,” Sasuke answered in a tired tone of voice, shifting in his chair. “Just thought I’d say it for shits and giggles.”

Naruto couldn’t help but laugh, because it was so Sasuke.

“But…” Naruto sighed. Could he really ask this of Sasuke? “I’m gonna be really high maintenance. I just…”

He was already holding Sasuke back enough, but he had difficulty refusing such a tempting offer. Yes, he was not looking forward to hunting down apartments and establishing himself on benefits in his condition. But the idea of living with Sasuke, who he had just gone years without seeing… It seemed too good to be true.

“I’ll just bring you down.”

Why did he always have to be so depressing? If he kept his misery to himself, it would be better for everyone. Yet when he was around Sasuke, keeping everything stopped up became so difficult. It had been that way since the day he met him, even as intimidating as he’d found him to be.

“Don’t give yourself so much credit,” Sasuke teased. “Nothing has succeeded in bringing me down yet, and I intend to keep it that way.”

It was that strength that Naruto knew Sasuke for so well. Naruto found himself crying all over again, but for reasons entirely different.

“God I…” Naruto sniffled, hardly able to get a word out. “Thank you. Sasu, thank you so much.”

He hiccuped as he cried, and it made his broken ribs ache. Yet he couldn’t stop crying. So much lay ahead of him, but with Sasuke there… Sasuke raised Naruto’s hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it.

“I know I don’t talk a lot. Next time you want to beat up on yourself, I want you to remember…” Sasuke sighed, squeezing Naruto’s hand. “Remember how much I love you.”

Sometimes it felt like Sasuke was the only good thing left in his life. Logically, he knew that Sakura, Kiba, and many others waited for his return. But Sasuke was right here in front of him. And the man went beyond description. He was a force of nature, with equal measures of distance, strength, cynicism, and the most passionate love.

He knew that he saw a good in Sasuke that he didn’t see himself. Sometimes he grew frustrated with Sasuke’s vehement denial, but it made more sense now. Yet even he had underestimated the compassion that Sasuke kept at his core for those select few. Left exposed and unchecked, he could imagine how vulnerable it would have made Sasuke. He wondered if Sasuke had learned that the hard way.

“I want you to remember the same thing then,” Naruto said, swallowing so that he wouldn’t choke. “Sasuke, I love you. And you’re good, so good.”

He reached out and met Sasuke’s bangs, running his fingers through them and tucking a strand behind Sasuke’s ear.

“No. But at the very least, I can be good to you.”

Naruto was surprised when Sasuke stood. He was even more surprised when Sasuke leaned over him, as gently as possible pressing his lips against Naruto’s. Despite his swollen and painful jaw, Naruto opened his mouth, brushing his tongue against Sasuke’s.

He let tears fall one after the other, everything around him disappearing as he focused on Sasuke’s kiss. It had been years, and it healed him more than any medicine they’d given him in this hospital. Their hands squeezed each other, each of them scared and so extremely glad for the other’s company.

This was what he had missed. Even at times when he wondered why he had survived, times when he even regretted surviving at all… Sasuke was there. That alone was enough to keep him going. He would pick himself up, and Sasuke would stand beside him, he hoped, until the very end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, finally, I've updated! The first chapter of "Part II." I hope everyone enjoyed this. Naruto is, of course, putting on a brave face for Sasuke and his friends. He never did like people seeing him depressed, but the damage he's been dealt is real. Very much like in canon, they're both in awe of each other's strengths.
> 
> I'm also a firm believer that Sasuke is one of the most loving characters in canon. The whole premise of the Uchiha curse is that this clan loves so strongly, but once what they love is lost, that love converts to hate. This Sasuke has had little experience with long relationships of any sort, so while he has the intent and the passion, he's still concerned about whether he'll pass this trial by fire in the long-term.
> 
> I'm so sorry this has been delayed. I've been having a lot going on. I'm ridic busy, and mental health issues are...yeah, those are fun. It's like my inspiration well has dried up. While I hope that my mood will improve, I can't promise the next chapter will be on time. I CAN promise that I will never abandon this fic.
> 
> But everyone, thank you for your comments! I can't think of literally anything that's helped me through writer's block (and maybe even my depression) more. I've been so overwhelmed that I haven't done well with responding to them. I consider myself very blessed. ♡


	29. Scars and Silver Linings

Sasuke leaned back in his chair, leisurely piecing through the pages of Der Tod in Venedig. Now was as good of a time as any to improve his German. It wasn’t as though he had much else to do, other than sketch. Every couple of pages, Sasuke glanced back at Naruto to look for any signs of consciousness.

They’d certainly done their fair share in this surgery. Naruto had yet to wake up, the sounds of his deep breathing offering the only noise other than that of his beeping machines. They’d removed his cast in the surgery, revealing the angry swelling up and down his arms.

Several of his wounds were still covered in bandages, while his more minor lacerations were left free to the air, the skin held together by dissolving stitches. Two metal halos circled Naruto’s forearm, holding it in place with eight pins. They emerged from several spots in Naruto’s arm, each one covered in gauze and dotted with small spots of blood.

During the surgery, they’d discovered that his humerus was healing far more quickly than they’d suspected. They’d originally planned to secure his upper arm with these same haloes, but Dr. Chiyo determined that the rod previously implanted into Naruto’s upper arm would be sufficient. It was covered in a soft brace, which would indubitably be more comfortable for Naruto. His elbow was left bare, and Sasuke was shocked that the only real injuries to it were a few scratches.

Dr. Chiyo had impressed upon them both how important it was that Naruto’s elbow was uninjured. Provided that Naruto could regain sufficient feeling, it had huge implications for the mobility of his arm. They’d bent his arm so that his forearm rested over his stomach. He imagined that upon waking up, Naruto would appreciate this extra mobility he’d gained after they removed his cast.

Naruto winced as he readjusted himself in bed, his bleary eye dragging forward to discern the white glow of the room in front of it. Only now did he remember where he was. It felt as though his body was suspended in a cloud. As the fog relented, he discerned blurry images of the covers on top of him and Sasuke’s face at his bedside.

The more he could see, the rawer that pain was that tinged his arm and side. Regardless, he squinted, trying to decipher his lover’s face, which always made him feel so safe. He gasped as he felt the coolness of Sasuke’s hand against his uninjured one, his thumb rubbing circles against his palm.

It’d been the same when he was Sasuke’s customer. He remembered those times that Sasuke apologized about his cold hands as he placed them against his back to hold his skin taut. He’d spoken to Naruto so differently back then.

“Naruto,” Sasuke murmured, calm and slow.

“Sasu…” Naruto slurred. “Here…”

He reached out his hand toward Sasuke’s face, and Sasuke rested his cool cheek against Naruto’s warm hand.

“Did it…” Naruto started, only to silence again as his eyes shut.

By the time his eyes next opened, Sasuke was reclining in his chair, glancing out the window.

“Sasuke…”

This time Naruto was more articulate, but the room still spun around him. He had Sasuke’s undivided attention.

“Did it work?” Naruto said, his voice raspy from disuse.

Naruto’s eyes were unfocused. Sasuke swallowed tight.

“Can you feel anything with your arm?”

Naruto’s eyes shut again, and Sasuke could barely perceive the iris of Naruto’s free eye moving around underneath the lid. He was drifting off again.

“Naruto?” he asked again.

It was no use. Sasuke huffed, biting at his lip piercing as he forced himself to remain silent. He’d wanted to hear the answer to that question.

He returned to his reading, hoping to make the time pass faster.

“Grape…” Naruto said now. Sasuke looked over to see Naruto pointing directly at his face.

“What?” Sasuke couldn’t help but ask.

“Grape,” Naruto said again, grasping Sasuke’s hair and holding a lock in his hand.

The first time he had touched Sasuke’s hair, he was so surprised. He expected it to feel coarse and full of product, given how it spiked in the back, but it was so incredibly soft. What was new was the shade, such a dark shade of purple as to be almost indiscernible from his natural shade without bright light.

“That’s the first thing you have to say to me?” Sasuke muttered, the corners of his lips so slightly upturned.

“Nnn…” Naruto grumbled.

Several minutes passed. Speaking exhausted him, but he was slowly regaining his energy. There was no mistaking the pain in his body.

“Sasuke?”

“Awake again?” Sasuke teased.

Naruto did now remember the fuzzy lens through which he had viewed the room around him earlier. Things were clearer now. It was dusk; Naruto saw the soft pinkish glow of the sky through his window.

“How long was I out?”

“They put you out ten hours ago. The surgery went on for eight,” Sasuke replied. “You’ve been talking nonsense the past thirty minutes.”

“Ah,” Naruto acknowledged, glancing around at his room. Everything looked the same, despite the odd feeling Naruto had that he’d been gone for weeks. He felt as though he was flying with nowhere to land. He grasped at the blanket, feeling as though if he didn’t brace himself, he’d somehow fall away.

“You’re still feeling the effects of the general anesthetic,” Sasuke said. “It’s normal to go in and out. You’re fine.”

Naruto hadn’t realized how anxious he’d become until Sasuke said this. Sasuke's words soothed him.

“Don’t rush it, dumbass,” Sasuke said, holding up his book so that it was in Naruto’s line of sight. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He nodded ever so slightly, shutting his eyes again with a deep exhale. When Naruto next opened his eyes again, he felt much clearer. The sky was just a bit darker, some of the brighter stars already appearing.

“Sasuke…”

“Mn?”

Sasuke placed his book down again, glancing over at Naruto.

“I think I’m up for good this time,” Naruto said, with a sheepish chuckle at the end.

“Welcome back.”

“How long has it been since the surgery ended?”

“Nearly two hours,” Sasuke replied.

“Woah, I woke up late this time,” Naruto mused, now able to decipher Sasuke’s finer features.

“You did,” Sasuke agreed. “How are you feeling?”

Naruto stretched his neck. His muscles had gotten so achy from being stuck in this bed for the past eight days.

“Ah, I’m good enough,” Naruto murmured. “Still feeling a little light-headed, but I’m with the program now.”

“Are you in pain? Dr. Chiyo set you up with a morphine pump if you need it.”

“I don’t need a morphine pump,” Naruto answered, the left corner of his lips raised in a slight smile. “I’m a Marine, remember?”

Sasuke sighed.

“I know you don’t. You don’t have to prove that to me.”

He hadn’t told Sasuke how bad his pain was since he’d woken up after the explosion. What good would it do? It would only upset him. Sasuke had already done everything in his power to make him comfortable; there was nothing left for him to do. Naruto was at a loss as to why Sasuke believed he’d be such a horrible lover.

He knew this wasn’t easy for Sasuke either. He didn’t miss the bags under his eyes, or the way he’d nod off when they watched TV together. It was common for people to have a difficult time sleeping in hospitals, let alone an insomniac like Sasuke. Sasuke’s presence was a constant reassurance, despite the uncertainty of his future. It was this same presence that Naruto’s soul had begged for during his time on the other side of the world.

“It’s nothing,” Naruto said with a toothy grin. “Don’t underestimate me, bastard.”

Yet Sasuke didn’t look entirely convinced. Naruto didn’t want to tell him the reality of the situation. He didn’t want to tell Sasuke that he still couldn’t feel his arm, though he knew he’d have to. He just didn’t want to see pain on Sasuke’s face right now. Naruto wondered if this was what he deserved all along for the things he’d done.

“Soon Chiyo’s going to come check on you. Do some mobility testing.”

Naruto nodded simply.

“Do you want to watch something?” Sasuke said, grabbing for the remote.

Letting his mind wander off… That didn’t sound like a half bad idea. Could Sasuke see through Naruto’s facade? Did he know how badly he wanted to escape his own consciousness?

They hadn’t been watching TV for long when Sasuke’s phone rang. He quickly pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at it.

“It’s Sakura,” Sasuke informed him, handing it to Naruto.

They’d given Sasuke’s number to Sakura to call whenever she wanted to talk to Naruto. It was easier to coordinate, now that she was back on American soil and could reliably use the phone at a predetermined hour. Naruto stared down at the phone as he hesitated to answer it.

He wondered if he’d be able to convince Sakura, and especially now he questioned his ability to sound like his old self. He’d never mentioned this surgery to her. He’d told Sakura that he was just stuck in Landstuhl because he’d banged his arm up. It was no secret that a stay this long in Landstuhl had to be caused by something significant.

Sakura was a bright woman. He knew she saw past the cavalier spin he put on things, but he didn’t want her worrying about him. If he kept his tone up, he hoped that she at least wouldn’t worry about him getting depressed. She could see that he was lively and recovering. She’d believe that he had it handled.

Besides, what was he to say to her, if he were truly honest? That life would never be the same for him again? That he may never be able to play his guitar for the rest of his life? That when he went to bed, sometimes those that had died in front of him cried out his name?

Sometimes, did Sakura see those same things in her sleep?

If she did, she was probably trying to forget. He wouldn’t bring her down like he was Sasuke. Besides, if he ended up being able to use his arm again, worrying her would all be for naught.

Right, the phone. He answered it quickly, before those dark thoughts could talk him out of it.

“Hey you, what’s up?” Naruto asked, smiling so that Sakura could hear it in his voice.

Naruto’s ability to shift so quickly into that demeanor made Sasuke feel hollow. He knew next to nothing about Sakura, but if she knew Naruto half as well as he claimed she did, there was no way that he was fooling her.

“Nothing. Work is work,” Sakura began. “How are you doing?”

“Oh me?” Naruto replied. “Heh, I’m fine. I keep the staff plenty busy.”

“They gonna let you out any time soon? It’s been a whole week.”

Naruto paused, and the laugh that left his mouth felt so forced to Sasuke.

“Yeah, I’m sure they will soon!”

“They’d better hurry, or else I’m going to have to fly over there and take you home myself,” Sakura said. Then she paused, and the seconds felt so heavy. “Naruto… What’s happening?”

“I already…” Naruto began.

“You didn’t,” Sakura contradicted him. “But you don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable. I just hear you hurting.”

Naruto wished that he was alone, for that sole instant. He felt like muting the phone and letting out pitiful noises or closing his eyes and imagining that he was somewhere else. Maybe laid up in bed back at Sasuke’s place. If he closed his eyes, he could still remember Sasuke’s living room, with that gorgeous baby grand Sasuke commanded so well.

But how dare he pity himself, after what he’d done?

Sasuke was glancing out the window, no doubt trying to respect Naruto’s privacy.

“Sakura…” Naruto answered, not even knowing himself what he was going to say next. “Sasuke’s here right now.”

Sasuke visibly flinched in response. Sometimes it was so easy to forget how isolated Sasuke could be around others. He remembered knowing a different version of Sasuke, someone distant and seemingly invulnerable. It made him feel privileged to see Sasuke’s softer side.

“He’s been sitting with me the whole time I’ve been in the hospital.”

Naruto’s eyes met Sasuke’s, holding his stare.

“Things haven’t been easy, but he’s here, in the flesh. He’s been taking care of me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Naruto said, smiling. His eyes were watering. His tears were showing now, rolling down his cheek.

“Let me talk to him,” Sakura said softly.

Naruto stared at the ground, then looked over at Sasuke. He pushed the phone in Sasuke’s direction, and Sasuke flinched away from it as if it were a moldy loaf of bread. Naruto gave Sasuke this pleading smile that he couldn’t reject. The took the phone from Naruto, which made Naruto feel quite impressed with himself, actually.

“Hello?”

This was bound to be awkward, but if Naruto wanted this, so be it. He’d be willing to do far more than this for his sake.

“Hi,” Sakura responded.

Her voice was full and strong. It was exactly how he’d imagined it to be from all of Naruto’s stories.

“I want to thank you for staying with Naruto throughout this. I know that he’s downplaying the situation.”

“Well…” Sasuke said tentatively. “What else would I do?”

Naruto couldn’t help but snicker, because that response was just so like him.

“I’m glad you’ve made him happy.”

Sasuke had now run out of words. He sat there with his lips pursed. Why was he so ungainly in these situations?

“Mn,” was his simple reply.

“I owe you one. You clearly mean a lot to him.”

He was glad to hear how much Sakura cared about Naruto. He deserved friends like this in his life, and he’d need them to get through what lay ahead. Sasuke knew that he alone was not enough. He knew that consistency had never been his strong suit.

“But if you ever hurt him…” Sakura trailed off. “I’ll make your life a living hell.”

Sasuke arched a brow, holding the phone a few inches from his ear and regarding it with a strange look that was meant for Sakura.

“Okay?”

Meanwhile Naruto looked like he would soon die of curiosity.

“So we’re clear. It was nice to meet you. Now, put Naruto back on the line.”

Sasuke was more than glad to acquiesce, without a response. Sakura’s name had always been just another one on the distribution list. It felt unreal to finally hear her voice. She was much like he’d imagined her to be. Naruto didn’t do a half bad job of describing people.

Sasuke resumed his reading as Sakura and Naruto continued to chatter. Just as Sasuke was about to finish his chapter, three resolute knocks sounded. Chiyo wasn’t one to wait; she entered immediately. Naruto very quickly bid farewell to Sakura, returning Sasuke’s phone to him.

“Hey, Dr. Chiyo!” Naruto said with a smile.

“Naruto,” the doctor nodded. “How is your arm feeling?”

“It’s not,” Naruto answered, puffing up his chest in an all too clear request for acknowledgement.

Sasuke couldn’t help but roll his eyes, though he had to admit that Naruto really could keep a sense of humor through most anything.

“That’s what I’m here to find out,” the doctor replied tersely, picking her reflex hammer up from the drawer.

“Are you feeling any soreness?”

“Just my shoulder.”

She gingerly grasped Naruto’s arm, running the handle of the reflex hammer against his upper arm.

“Let me know if you feel anything.”

He felt nothing, and he struggled to keep the smile on his face. As glad as he was for a shot at being able to use his arm again, sometimes the uncertainty was just as difficult as knowing. He didn’t know if he should resign himself to life with one functional arm and move on, or if he should keep hoping. He wanted to stop this daily anxiety and rest, but hope had gotten him so far in the past.

Sasuke was leaning forward in his chair, watching him. Naruto could practically feel his restlessness, and he knew that Sasuke was trying to look as relaxed as possible for his sake.

Naruto could only tell that Dr. Chiyo was moving to different areas of his arm by watching her movements. Another swipe. And another. Nothing.

He caught Sasuke’s eyes and flashed him a big smile. His throat felt tight, and the way Sasuke’s brows knit together told him that he didn’t have him fooled.

Then he could’ve sworn… Was that pressure? It felt like something was pressing against his upper arm, behind the shoulder and just along the triceps.

“Wait…” Naruto said.

Sasuke’s jaw parted with his other just slightly. Why was it that Naruto couldn’t keep his eyes off of him, even in this situation?

“Try that again.”

Could this just have been the effect of the tool pushing him arm, with the weight of it going up his shoulder? His imagination? It was so faint, and he couldn’t say he actually felt anything specific other than a general nudging.

She tried again, in just a slightly different location.

There was no denying it now. He felt that cold metal dig into his skin.

“I feel it!” Naruto shouted.

He hadn’t meant to yell, but he just couldn’t help it. This had been the first sensation he’d felt in his arm since the explosion. Sasuke was tugging on his lip piercing, smiling. He hadn’t seen Sasuke look so happy since he’d woken up.

“How about this?”

Dr. Chiyo moved to a different section of his arm.

“That too! But not as much.”

“How about this?”

Dr. Chiyo now ran the tool over his palm. He only felt a slight pressure, but it caused his pointer finger to flinch, ever so slightly.

He knew his eyes were watering but didn’t care. This… At least this was something.

“This is very good news,” Dr. Chiyo said in a level tone that didn’t match its message.

“You’re tellin’ me!” Naruto said, and even if he’d wanted to, he couldn’t have stopped that toothy grin from appearing on his face.

“The areas that are now experiencing feeling were tied to one of the nerves I’d stitched together. Provided that you treat your injury well, things can only improve from here.”

This was something he could latch onto. He had a chance!

“So what do you think? Have a feel as to whether or not I’ll be able to use the thing?”

She pursed her lips.

“It’s far too early to say. It’s possible that you’ll use your arm again, and it’s also possible that you won’t. As I said before, nerves regrow slowly. Within about a month, we’ll have a better understanding of your prospects.”

He wished for more certainty, but he felt grateful for this development.

“We removed your catheter during the procedure. You’re free to walk about your room, but only if someone else is there to support you at all times. Do _not_ walk unaided. Your muscles have likely atrophied.”

“No way… Sweet!”

Naruto’s enthusiasm made Sasuke feel warm inside. He felt peaceful.

“At this point, it’s safe to take off the bandages on your face,” Dr. Chiyo said. “Would you like me to do that for you?”

Naruto deflated, and Sasuke recognized fear on his face.

“Ah, I…” he mumbled, his hand fidgeting with his sheet. “Ya know, it’s been said that one look at my studly visage is enough to make a grown man swoon and faint. In any other situation, I’d say bring it on, but you probably have some patients left to see.”

“Very well,” Dr. Chiyo said with a nod, leaving Naruto’s humor unappreciated. “I’ll be back in a few days to check on your healing. At this rate, we may be transferring you to Walter Reed sometime within the week.”

“I see…”

Sasuke couldn’t read the expression on Naruto’s face. Walter Reed was in DC, just a four-hour drive south of Manhattan. He would’ve expected Naruto to be happy. His friends would only be a train ride away. After nearly two years, he’d return to American soil.

“But I make no promises,” the doctor continued. “Do you have any other questions for me?”

Naruto’s composure only lapsed for a few seconds.

“‘Course I do!” Naruto said, subconsciously licking his dry upper lip. “When’s the next time they’re gonna give me schnitzel? The pork one’s the best thing I’ve had since I got here.”

“Ask the nurse,” Dr. Chiyo said simply, though Naruto caught her stare and held it for another second.

It didn’t even take a second for Sasuke to recognize Naruto’s pleading puppy eyes. Would she fall for it?

Dr. Chiyo sighed, adding, “I’ll send a request.”

Naruto shot Sasuke a triumphant grin, leading Sasuke to roll his eyes at his gloating.

“Now, rest up. See you soon.”

With that, Dr. Chiyo left the door and closed it neatly behind her. Sasuke and Naruto both lost several seconds to silence. Dr. Chiyo had only been in the room for about fifteen minutes, but hell if they hadn’t been eventful.

“Heh… Wow…” Naruto said, trailing off.

Sasuke remained silent, wondering if Naruto needed this time to talk. He knew that this was a lot for Naruto to process.

“What do you make out of all of this, Sasu?”

“What do you mean?” Sasuke asked, tilting his head.

“Everything she just said.”

Sasuke paused, picking his words.

“She said a lot. But it’s a good sign that you’re getting some feeling back in your arm, and it’ll do you good to be back in America again.”

“Yeah…”

“Hm?” Sasuke prompted.

“I’m…” Naruto paused. “I’m more than happy that my arm’s got some feeling in it. That’s for sure.”

“Same here,” Sasuke confirmed simply.

“And I want to go home but… It still kinda feels like a dream, ya know? When I go home, back to the city… I think it’ll feel realer then.”

Naruto frowned, his eyes flatly regarding Sasuke’s.

“But I guess the part that bugs me most… It’s been a whole week, and Lee still…” Naruto trailed off. “I can’t leave without talking to him again, Sasuke. I just can’t.”

Sasuke pursed his lips, and he could’ve sworn he saw Naruto’s eye water. Lee still hadn’t woken up, and despite how Naruto had tried to avoid complaining, Sasuke knew that he thought of Lee frequently.

“I can’t leave him to wake up in this place alone.”

He wished he could reassure Naruto, who seemed to think of everyone but himself. People like him were far and few between, and it seemed so ironic to Sasuke that he’d been the one to attract someone like that.

“I’ll check on him every day until you can go yourself,” Sasuke said. “If… When he wakes up, I’ll do everything I can to help.”

Naruto felt his throat tighten up, and a tear ran down his cheek.

“Thank you, Sasuke. When you see him… Could you let me talk to him? Just call my room and put your phone on speaker.”

“Of course.”

Naruto smiled at Sasuke.

“You’re a good man, Naruto,” Sasuke said in a more serious tone of voice. “I hope you realize that.”

Naruto shook his head and scoffed.

“Sure, I’m a good man. Except for when it counts.”

Naruto had regretting saying that the instant the words left his mouth, because he saw the pain on Sasuke’s face so clearly.

“No. You _are_ a good man. You care about your friends. You care about others, more than yourself.”

“Sasuke…” Naruto said. “Good intentions don’t bring people back from the dead.”

Naruto couldn’t keep looking Sasuke in the face. Sasuke didn’t know the things he’d done. He breathed in and let out a sigh.

“Well, anywho…” Naruto began in a much more cavalier tone of voice. “The idea of stretching my legs seemed pretty appealing. Mind if I take a whack at it?”

Sasuke nodded, standing up and approaching Naruto’s bedside.

“Hey, whatcha doin? I’m not a baby.”

“She said that you weren’t to walk unaided.”

“Yeah, yeah, they always like to say stuff like that…” Naruto griped.

“Yeah, and you always like to test my patience,” Sasuke answered, offering his arm to Naruto as he tried to move his legs to the side of the bed.

Naruto edged his body so that his bottom half leaned to the right. He grunted as he fought to move his leg out of the bed, only for his body to barely move along a few inches.

“What the hell is this?” Naruto asked, gesturing down at his legs frustratedly.

“That atrophy she was talking about,” Sasuke replied.

“It’s hardly even been a week!”

“A week with absolutely no movement. You weren’t even conscious for the first couple days.”

Naruto huffed, pouting as he stared down at his feet. Sasuke leaned forward putting a soft kiss on Naruto’s forehead.

“Only a matter of time,” Sasuke said softly.

“Mnnn,” Naruto purred.

As Sasuke tried to lift his head up, Naruto grasped Sasuke’s tank top and pulled him down, giving a slight peck on his lips. They separated again, but Naruto didn’t let go. They stared at each other as the seconds passed, and as if the same idea occurred to them both at exactly the same time, they leaned forward and kissed deeply, lips parted as both of their eyes closed shut.

This was the first time they’d kissed each other like this in years. Naruto had been too sore to kiss Sasuke more than just a peck, and he was pretty confident his mouth would’ve tasted like blood. He was able to brush his teeth now, and his strength was returning.

He felt his adrenaline race, his heart beating hard and fast as his hands grew sweaty. He felt himself blush and grow ever so slightly hard, even at such a relatively mild advance compared to what they’d done in the past. Their lips parted as they both stared at each other again, and he was seized by Sasuke’s beauty. His pale and soft lips, his dark eyes, his delicate collarbone... Naruto had missed his scent so badly over the years.

Sasuke stared back, and he couldn’t stop thinking about how close he’d come to losing Naruto. Naruto was suffering now, and he was powerless to fix that. He felt several heady heartbeats in his chest as Naruto’s uninjured hand grabbed his. Naruto’s hands had always been strong and calloused, but the war had him even rougher. God, he’d missed him.

They kissed each other again, their chests almost pressed together. Naruto reached up and rested his hand on Sasuke’s chest, feeling his heartbeat.

“God…” Naruto said, tugging on Sasuke’s collar now and taking a look down his shirt. “Why do I have to be all banged up right now?”

The corner of Sasuke’s lips raised as he smirked down at Naruto.

“I can almost feel the lust coming off of you.”

“Can you blame me? My dick hasn’t seen a shred of action for like two years, and then _you_ … Christ, you’re way too gorgeous. And…”

Sasuke moved Naruto’s blanket off to the side. He placed his hand under Naruto’s shirt, running his finger from Naruto’s navel down south. Naruto was humiliated by the needy moan that burst from his mouth. He hoped no one else heard.

“You want this?”

“ _God_ yes. But I can’t…”

Sasuke knew where Naruto was going with this. He’d be unable to reciprocate, but Sasuke was more than alright with this.

“That’s okay. I just want to make you come undone again.”

Naruto felt his erection grow by the second. But was it any wonder he’d be so sensitive? He’d been waiting for this for _years_.

“How’s this for a deal: I’ll make you feel good if you’ll let me taste you again.”

“Oh God…” Naruto whimpered. It always brought him to his knees when Sasuke talked to him like that. “That sounds like a fucking _amazing_ setup.”

“Just promise to tell me if anything I do is painful.”

“Yeah, whatever…” Naruto answered with a smirk.

“I mean it,” Sasuke snapped, kissing Naruto again and tugging his bottom lip with his teeth. “Your body’s healing. Stop thinking with your dick.”

“Sure, okay, I’ll be good. Just _please_ …” Naruto moaned, squirming as he pushed his legs together, wishing he had something to rub against.

Sasuke pushed Naruto’s blanket and sheet aside, his hardened length now blatantly obvious. Naruto was too far gone to be embarrassed by it, and Sasuke emitted the quietest moan as he glanced down. He freed Naruto’s erection to the air, his hand gently grasping the base as he licked up the vein on the understand of Naruto’s shaft. He couldn’t help but moan; he’d missed this for so long.

He bit his lip as he saw the tiniest amount of precum ooze from Naruto’s slit.

“Damn, you weren’t kidding,” Sasuke practically purred.

“Please, Sasuke…” Naruto whimpered as he unwittingly wiggled his toes.

And Sasuke sucked him with a mindless craving to be reacquainted with Naruto’s taste. Naruto’s moans fueled him, and he flicked his tongue stud over Naruto’s tip, just harshly enough to cause a bit of pain. Naruto’s body stiffened underneath him, a chorus of “oh god”s flowing from his lips.

And at last he came into Sasuke’s mouth with stifled moans, Sasuke taking the entirety of it and swallowing. The small of Naruto’s back, the back of his knees, and his chest were all dampened with sweat.

For several seconds, Naruto was too blissed out to even speak, quiet moans leaving his mouth every few seconds until his squirming body finally stilled.

“Sorry, I…” Naruto finally spoke. “I came so fast. It’s just been so long…”

“I take it as a compliment,” Sasuke replied, though he now had his own pressing issue between his legs.

“I wanna taste you too…” Naruto moaned, reaching out to Sasuke.

“There will be plenty of time for that later,” Sasuke said. “But for now…”

Sasuke held Naruto’s hand tight, and Naruto squeezed back just as hard. They kissed each other deeply once again, but this time they moved slowly, as if cherishing it for their last times. Naruto tasted himself in Sasuke’s mouth. Their lips parted.

“But aren’t you…” Naruto trailed off.

Surely, Sasuke must have been craving the same. He could feel it in his kisses, in the feverish way Sasuke sucked him off.

“Some things are worth waiting for,” Sasuke told him with a faint smile.

Naruto wondered whether he might be one of the luckiest people alive at that moment.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” Naruto asked, a warm and satisfied smile on his face.

“That’s my line.”

They let the seconds lapse between them, and then Sasuke took his cue to clean Naruto up. He did so in silence.

“Sasuke…” Naruto said, his eyes straying downward now.

“Hm?”

Sasuke had now finished putting Naruto back together, placing Naruto’s blanket over his body again.

“What if…” Naruto was ambling now, searching for the strength to continue. “The face underneath these bandages isn’t the one you fell in love with. What if you’re disgusted? What if…”

Naruto felt stupid for crying now, tears streaming down the left side of his face.

“Naruto,” Sasuke answered, holding Naruto’s hand in his and rubbing his thumb over Naruto’s palm. “Give me a little more credit. You’ll never be anything other than gorgeous to me. Besides, everyone knows that battle scars are fucking metal.”

Naruto laughed now, even as his eyes teared. Leave it to Sasuke to use his own words against him.

“They are, aren’t they?” Naruto replied.

He didn’t feel as though he deserved Sasuke, but damn if he wasn’t happy to have him.

“Yeah,” Sasuke said. “They really are.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last, I update!
> 
> I never thought I'd be this late. I think if I told y'all some of the things that have happened over the past weeks, you might not believe it. Suffice to say I'm a walking ball of stress and depression, but I have hope that things will improve.
> 
> I've had a total of four people crash at my place over this time, one of them on an hour's notice and under threats to his life. Also started up a 6 pm - 10 pm class, alongside my full-time job.
> 
> My emotional stability has been... Wait, what emotional stability? You mean to tell me that's a thing some people have? Holy tits, Nancy! Always learning new things in this crazy world.
> 
> I'm anticipating that my next chapter will be late too, but not THIS late. I wish there were a way to tell people over AO3 if and why there's a delay other than posting a new chapter just to bum people out. Buuut there isn't, so in the meanwhile, the best places to reach me:  
> https://twitter.com/OfFansAndFlames
> 
> Secondarily, if you have a Tumblr:  
> http://offansandflames.tumblr.com
> 
> And if you have any questions for me, you can go here:  
> https://curiouscat.me/offansandflames
> 
> Anyhow, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I've planned so, so much more, and I can't wait to share it with you.


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